Speaker 1: I'm getting more famous at my daughter's school, so that's
Speaker 1: pretty exciting. Like I've talked about concepts at our school,
Speaker 1: I could you know. I've talked about the way that
Speaker 1: people date at that age, so they like barely even
Speaker 1: talk to each other and they just say they're dating.
Speaker 1: It's like the activity of the chase, of the label
Speaker 1: of dating seems to be what they're interested in. Like
Speaker 1: I think so and so likes me. I like this person,
Speaker 1: my friend likes that person. Two days later, Oh, did
Speaker 1: you speak to that person? Do you want gonna make
Speaker 1: a quote unquote plan? Not a play date? They're too
Speaker 1: old for that. And then your kid will be like, no,
Speaker 1: what do you mean. No, two days ago you liked them,
Speaker 1: two days ago they liked you. Like it's fleeting. But anyway,
Speaker 1: whenever I talk about that stuff on here, my daughter
Speaker 1: says her whole school is obsessed with this podcast. So
Speaker 1: we have tween fans because I've mentioned and they'll be like,
Speaker 1: that's me. So I'm doing a shout out to my
Speaker 1: daughter and her cool friends and saying, I'm watching you guys,
Speaker 1: and I know that when you guys go to those
Speaker 1: bat mitzvahs every Saturday night that they're nightclubs. This is
Speaker 1: the craziest thing ever, This this freaking scam. I could
Speaker 1: not buy my daughter's clothes ever. Again, I don't need to.
Speaker 1: She gets a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt at
Speaker 1: about mitzvat every single weekend, and it's like they're going
Speaker 1: to nightclubs. They get home at midnight. It's like party
Speaker 1: time for me. I get to be home being pajamas,
Speaker 1: you know, air fry something, and my daughter gets home
Speaker 1: at midnight and it's like checks the box because not
Speaker 1: only does it entertain her. On the Saturday Sunday, they're
Speaker 1: they're freaking like like stuck to the bed like fruit
Speaker 1: roll ups, like they don't want to do anything, and
Speaker 1: they've been activated and had an activity half the day Saturday.
Speaker 1: You don't have to entertain them because they're getting ready.
Speaker 1: It's like these are this is a great racket like
Speaker 1: for us, like these Saturday night every night parties for
Speaker 1: these kids seemed like a pain in the ass, maybe
Speaker 1: because of the driving, but try to work that out
Speaker 1: with friends in car pools. But like the nature of
Speaker 1: your kid basically going to a legal, underaged fun, no
Speaker 1: alcohol nightclub and they're starting to get ready at like
Speaker 1: three or four. So Saturday is like a wash and
Speaker 1: have to do much and then Sunday they're they're jello,
Speaker 1: and Saturday they're entertained. Like you could check off your
Speaker 1: whole social calendar like week in one shot. So I'm
Speaker 1: all for that shit. So I've realized that when people die,
Speaker 1: people want to take ownership of it. So have you
Speaker 1: ever seen the news when something happens and I was there,
Speaker 1: I was right there, and I spoke. I spoke to
Speaker 1: them Tuesday and this morning, Like people want to own
Speaker 1: the death of someone. And sadly, when someone tragically dies,
Speaker 1: which I've experienced someone that I've known for years tragically
Speaker 1: passing away, that people from different eras, in different stages
Speaker 1: of this person's life want to crawl out of the
Speaker 1: woodwork and own the death, like I grew up with
Speaker 1: this person, or I saw them, or i'd them, or
Speaker 1: we were close, or I know their wife, or I
Speaker 1: built their house or I you know, made their invitations,
Speaker 1: or I saw them or I go to their It's
Speaker 1: really interesting and people really want to stamp the death.
Speaker 1: They're part of it. And I realized because I lost
Speaker 1: someone several years back that people also want to own
Speaker 1: how things are done. I've noticed, like where someone's buried,
Speaker 1: what this person would want? And many times people think
Speaker 1: of themselves like themselves, other people think of themselves, And
Speaker 1: are you supposed to think of yourself? The survivors supposed
Speaker 1: to think the people who are still living? Is everyone's
Speaker 1: supposed to think about them? Are you supposed to honor
Speaker 1: the wishes of the person that died? Because often you
Speaker 1: see people arguing, and they're the people that are alive
Speaker 1: arguing about what they want, what they think the person
Speaker 1: would want if something wasn't resolved, And that's why people
Speaker 1: should get things resolved versus what did that person? What
Speaker 1: did that person communicate what they wanted? And what type
Speaker 1: of person would they be and what would they want?
Speaker 1: So like people will have funerals that are big parties
Speaker 1: that might indicate that that's something that the person who
Speaker 1: passed wants or has said that they wanted. But are
Speaker 1: you supposed to honor the living because that might not
Speaker 1: be their style? So what if the person who passed
Speaker 1: was really outgoing and liked the action and like the
Speaker 1: light and would like something a little more sassy and
Speaker 1: a little more public and a little more fun or
Speaker 1: are you supposed to think of that person's kids or
Speaker 1: family or spouse and what they want because they're still alive,
Speaker 1: and what type of funeral they want. And it's really
Speaker 1: crazy because you really watch it like the Hunger Games
Speaker 1: and everybody trying to own death, their stamp on what
Speaker 1: it should be and how it should be done and
Speaker 1: what it really means and what really happened and what
Speaker 1: they would want. And I find it to be very grabby.
Speaker 1: I've heard stories about family members opening the safe during
Speaker 1: the shiva fighting over someone, you know, the things that
Speaker 1: they left behind and who they'd want them to go to.
Speaker 1: Because recently, I did something to honor someone who had
Speaker 1: passed away on my social media and that person's childhood,
Speaker 1: best best friends and people very close to this to
Speaker 1: the person who passed for their entire life were reaching
Speaker 1: out to me saying it was beautiful and it was amazing,
Speaker 1: and that he would have loved that because he likes
Speaker 1: a little action, and the fact that, like you know,
Speaker 1: there were some famous people commenting on it, that he
Speaker 1: would have loved it. But what if other members of
Speaker 1: his family, They themselves are more private, and it's not
Speaker 1: something that they would want. Are you honoring what the
Speaker 1: family and friends of decades past and you know, for
Speaker 1: the last forty years or thirty years, those people connected
Speaker 1: to this person who passed. Are you honoring what they
Speaker 1: would want and listen to them? Or are you listening
Speaker 1: to newer friends and family you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like like someone's maybe like second or third wife or
Speaker 1: kids that are younger, Like who are you honoring? You know?
Speaker 1: How do you make those decisions about who gets to
Speaker 1: decide what something is supposed to be? I just you know,
Speaker 1: because let's just say that somebody that it was an
Speaker 1: unexpected passing. How would people around know who to listen
Speaker 1: to and who to answer who's the authority on how
Speaker 1: things should go? It's interesting because this is us dealt
Speaker 1: with that issue. And Mandy Moore had decided ahead of time.
Speaker 1: She made everything clear that she wanted Kate to make
Speaker 1: the decisions, and they all tried to retrade and discuss
Speaker 1: that after trying to make excuses, she didn't realize life
Speaker 1: would be this harder, that it would be this difficult
Speaker 1: to tetra and in the end, Kate made a decision.
Speaker 1: But then Kevin had a decision that trumped that, and Kate,
Speaker 1: who was ultimately the decision maker, agreed with it, but
Speaker 1: it was ultimately her decision. So someone should appoint the
Speaker 1: person who gets to decide matters surrounding their death what
Speaker 1: they should be. Is it your kids are going to decide?
Speaker 1: Is it someone you married, is it a parent? Is
Speaker 1: it your best friends? Like? Who knows? It's morbid to
Speaker 1: think about what you have to think about it? What
Speaker 1: I want, what Brin wants, what Paul wants, what you
Speaker 1: know other family members want? What a best friend would think? Like,
Speaker 1: what would I want? Very interesting,