1
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,720
Speaker 1: I'm getting more famous at my daughter's school, so that's

2
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 1: pretty exciting. Like I've talked about concepts at our school,

3
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,040
Speaker 1: I could you know. I've talked about the way that

4
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,920
Speaker 1: people date at that age, so they like barely even

5
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,599
Speaker 1: talk to each other and they just say they're dating.

6
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,480
Speaker 1: It's like the activity of the chase, of the label

7
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,360
Speaker 1: of dating seems to be what they're interested in. Like

8
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,880
Speaker 1: I think so and so likes me. I like this person,

9
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,559
Speaker 1: my friend likes that person. Two days later, Oh, did

10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,199
Speaker 1: you speak to that person? Do you want gonna make

11
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,319
Speaker 1: a quote unquote plan? Not a play date? They're too

12
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 1: old for that. And then your kid will be like, no,

13
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 1: what do you mean. No, two days ago you liked them,

14
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,440
Speaker 1: two days ago they liked you. Like it's fleeting. But anyway,

15
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,080
Speaker 1: whenever I talk about that stuff on here, my daughter

16
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 1: says her whole school is obsessed with this podcast. So

17
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,240
Speaker 1: we have tween fans because I've mentioned and they'll be like,

18
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 1: that's me. So I'm doing a shout out to my

19
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 1: daughter and her cool friends and saying, I'm watching you guys,

20
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,760
Speaker 1: and I know that when you guys go to those

21
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,160
Speaker 1: bat mitzvahs every Saturday night that they're nightclubs. This is

22
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,399
Speaker 1: the craziest thing ever, This this freaking scam. I could

23
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,600
Speaker 1: not buy my daughter's clothes ever. Again, I don't need to.

24
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,560
Speaker 1: She gets a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt at

25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,320
Speaker 1: about mitzvat every single weekend, and it's like they're going

26
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,000
Speaker 1: to nightclubs. They get home at midnight. It's like party

27
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,280
Speaker 1: time for me. I get to be home being pajamas,

28
00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,680
Speaker 1: you know, air fry something, and my daughter gets home

29
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,360
Speaker 1: at midnight and it's like checks the box because not

30
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,520
Speaker 1: only does it entertain her. On the Saturday Sunday, they're

31
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 1: they're freaking like like stuck to the bed like fruit

32
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,800
Speaker 1: roll ups, like they don't want to do anything, and

33
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,120
Speaker 1: they've been activated and had an activity half the day Saturday.

34
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,880
Speaker 1: You don't have to entertain them because they're getting ready.

35
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,360
Speaker 1: It's like these are this is a great racket like

36
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,319
Speaker 1: for us, like these Saturday night every night parties for

37
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,000
Speaker 1: these kids seemed like a pain in the ass, maybe

38
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,640
Speaker 1: because of the driving, but try to work that out

39
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,520
Speaker 1: with friends in car pools. But like the nature of

40
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 1: your kid basically going to a legal, underaged fun, no

41
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,080
Speaker 1: alcohol nightclub and they're starting to get ready at like

42
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,080
Speaker 1: three or four. So Saturday is like a wash and

43
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,080
Speaker 1: have to do much and then Sunday they're they're jello,

44
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 1: and Saturday they're entertained. Like you could check off your

45
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:14,280
Speaker 1: whole social calendar like week in one shot. So I'm

46
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 1: all for that shit. So I've realized that when people die,

47
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,400
Speaker 1: people want to take ownership of it. So have you

48
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 1: ever seen the news when something happens and I was there,

49
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,240
Speaker 1: I was right there, and I spoke. I spoke to

50
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,079
Speaker 1: them Tuesday and this morning, Like people want to own

51
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:39,120
Speaker 1: the death of someone. And sadly, when someone tragically dies,

52
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,880
Speaker 1: which I've experienced someone that I've known for years tragically

53
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:50,920
Speaker 1: passing away, that people from different eras, in different stages

54
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,280
Speaker 1: of this person's life want to crawl out of the

55
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 1: woodwork and own the death, like I grew up with

56
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,640
Speaker 1: this person, or I saw them, or i'd them, or

57
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,280
Speaker 1: we were close, or I know their wife, or I

58
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 1: built their house or I you know, made their invitations,

59
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,959
Speaker 1: or I saw them or I go to their It's

60
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 1: really interesting and people really want to stamp the death.

61
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,880
Speaker 1: They're part of it. And I realized because I lost

62
00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,760
Speaker 1: someone several years back that people also want to own

63
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: how things are done. I've noticed, like where someone's buried,

64
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,799
Speaker 1: what this person would want? And many times people think

65
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,920
Speaker 1: of themselves like themselves, other people think of themselves, And

66
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: are you supposed to think of yourself? The survivors supposed

67
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,080
Speaker 1: to think the people who are still living? Is everyone's

68
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,360
Speaker 1: supposed to think about them? Are you supposed to honor

69
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 1: the wishes of the person that died? Because often you

70
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,560
Speaker 1: see people arguing, and they're the people that are alive

71
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,840
Speaker 1: arguing about what they want, what they think the person

72
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,320
Speaker 1: would want if something wasn't resolved, And that's why people

73
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 1: should get things resolved versus what did that person? What

74
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 1: did that person communicate what they wanted? And what type

75
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,720
Speaker 1: of person would they be and what would they want?

76
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,120
Speaker 1: So like people will have funerals that are big parties

77
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: that might indicate that that's something that the person who

78
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 1: passed wants or has said that they wanted. But are

79
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,240
Speaker 1: you supposed to honor the living because that might not

80
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,880
Speaker 1: be their style? So what if the person who passed

81
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,760
Speaker 1: was really outgoing and liked the action and like the

82
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,000
Speaker 1: light and would like something a little more sassy and

83
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,680
Speaker 1: a little more public and a little more fun or

84
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,599
Speaker 1: are you supposed to think of that person's kids or

85
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,040
Speaker 1: family or spouse and what they want because they're still alive,

86
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,080
Speaker 1: and what type of funeral they want. And it's really

87
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 1: crazy because you really watch it like the Hunger Games

88
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,599
Speaker 1: and everybody trying to own death, their stamp on what

89
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,359
Speaker 1: it should be and how it should be done and

90
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 1: what it really means and what really happened and what

91
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:52,880
Speaker 1: they would want. And I find it to be very grabby.

92
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,480
Speaker 1: I've heard stories about family members opening the safe during

93
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,720
Speaker 1: the shiva fighting over someone, you know, the things that

94
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,000
Speaker 1: they left behind and who they'd want them to go to.

95
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,040
Speaker 1: Because recently, I did something to honor someone who had

96
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 1: passed away on my social media and that person's childhood,

97
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,440
Speaker 1: best best friends and people very close to this to

98
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,599
Speaker 1: the person who passed for their entire life were reaching

99
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,599
Speaker 1: out to me saying it was beautiful and it was amazing,

100
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,160
Speaker 1: and that he would have loved that because he likes

101
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,200
Speaker 1: a little action, and the fact that, like you know,

102
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,320
Speaker 1: there were some famous people commenting on it, that he

103
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,599
Speaker 1: would have loved it. But what if other members of

104
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:40,800
Speaker 1: his family, They themselves are more private, and it's not

105
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,680
Speaker 1: something that they would want. Are you honoring what the

106
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:51,680
Speaker 1: family and friends of decades past and you know, for

107
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:57,400
Speaker 1: the last forty years or thirty years, those people connected

108
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 1: to this person who passed. Are you honoring what they

109
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 1: would want and listen to them? Or are you listening

110
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:08,040
Speaker 1: to newer friends and family you know what I mean,

111
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,400
Speaker 1: like like someone's maybe like second or third wife or

112
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,919
Speaker 1: kids that are younger, Like who are you honoring? You know?

113
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,719
Speaker 1: How do you make those decisions about who gets to

114
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 1: decide what something is supposed to be? I just you know,

115
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,800
Speaker 1: because let's just say that somebody that it was an

116
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,000
Speaker 1: unexpected passing. How would people around know who to listen

117
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,920
Speaker 1: to and who to answer who's the authority on how

118
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 1: things should go? It's interesting because this is us dealt

119
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,160
Speaker 1: with that issue. And Mandy Moore had decided ahead of time.

120
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,160
Speaker 1: She made everything clear that she wanted Kate to make

121
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,479
Speaker 1: the decisions, and they all tried to retrade and discuss

122
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,960
Speaker 1: that after trying to make excuses, she didn't realize life

123
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,520
Speaker 1: would be this harder, that it would be this difficult

124
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,600
Speaker 1: to tetra and in the end, Kate made a decision.

125
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,280
Speaker 1: But then Kevin had a decision that trumped that, and Kate,

126
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,240
Speaker 1: who was ultimately the decision maker, agreed with it, but

127
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 1: it was ultimately her decision. So someone should appoint the

128
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 1: person who gets to decide matters surrounding their death what

129
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,480
Speaker 1: they should be. Is it your kids are going to decide?

130
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,080
Speaker 1: Is it someone you married, is it a parent? Is

131
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,280
Speaker 1: it your best friends? Like? Who knows? It's morbid to

132
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,680
Speaker 1: think about what you have to think about it? What

133
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,600
Speaker 1: I want, what Brin wants, what Paul wants, what you

134
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,480
Speaker 1: know other family members want? What a best friend would think? Like,

135
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,640
Speaker 1: what would I want? Very interesting,