WEBVTT - Breadcrumbing

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<v Speaker 1>Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dean Ungler and I

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<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio Podcast. Not to mention Jerry and jar that

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<v Speaker 1>should be our intro moving forward. Yeah, it's like in

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio Podcast with Dean Ungler. J Anyways, what

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<v Speaker 1>is going on? Sucky daters? We are bad. We're not

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<v Speaker 1>in NAPA, We're here in good old Los Angeles, And

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<v Speaker 1>boy does it feel good to be talking to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel at ease when I talk to my sucky daters,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. I feel like I'm at home with my people.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a second home. I feel like we can

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<v Speaker 1>all just co miserate on our suckiness together every week

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<v Speaker 1>on Monday, and sometimes Jared, Mark and Easton are part

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<v Speaker 1>of it too, a couple of times a week, not

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<v Speaker 1>too many times? Do you? Does Caitlin think you suck

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<v Speaker 1>a dating? Kalen duff Is definitely does think I suck

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<v Speaker 1>at dating? I do? I storry At the top of this,

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<v Speaker 1>I do want to congratulate our good friends Becca and

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<v Speaker 1>Tanya for their People Choice Award for their podcast Schedualized

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<v Speaker 1>Rout of Lost, second Year Runnings two years in a

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<v Speaker 1>row and gosh dang, and I'm so freaking jealous. And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so jealous, which is why right now I want

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<v Speaker 1>to make a challenge inch to everybody in this studio

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<v Speaker 1>and everybody listening to this podcast. We have three and

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<v Speaker 1>sixty four days until the next let's kno, okay, scrubbing,

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<v Speaker 1>How do you get nominated? What does that process? Because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know. I think fans have to nominate.

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<v Speaker 1>They do, so Scrubbing it has some very loyal fans,

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<v Speaker 1>that is the truth. So does help by Second Dating.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't ever under underestimate our suck at daters. Okay, sucky das.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're out there, let's all suck together. So all

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<v Speaker 1>suck together. We have one year, one year to get

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<v Speaker 1>us on the right track to be nominated for the

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<v Speaker 1>People Choice Award of Best Pop Podcast. And I'm challenging

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<v Speaker 1>everybody in this room, everybody listening to this podcast right now,

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<v Speaker 1>and whoever our future third host is. We're getting nominated

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<v Speaker 1>next year. Howlp. I Second Dating is getting nominated the

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<v Speaker 1>People Choice Awards for Best Best Pop Podcast. And damn it,

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna wait. I wanted us to be clear on something.

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<v Speaker 1>The sucking is not gonna stop. We're gonna keep sucking.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna suck harder than we've ever seen it. So hard.

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<v Speaker 1>You've never been sucked so hard in your life. But

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<v Speaker 1>we want to suck with you, and we want to

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<v Speaker 1>suck on stage at the People's Choice Awards next to year,

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<v Speaker 1>and that stage hard, baby. So you're saying, Tobecca and Kinna,

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<v Speaker 1>they are unnoticed that you're coming for them next, We're

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<v Speaker 1>coming for him. Behind us is not happy Dean Jared

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<v Speaker 1>the unnamed third co host, and the suck army is coming.

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<v Speaker 1>We're coming for you, Dad. You've got three and sixty

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<v Speaker 1>four days to be on that throne. She just she

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<v Speaker 1>did the whole finger across the next thing. Tanya is

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<v Speaker 1>actually quite intimidating, which she's mad anyways, but real talk.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations to them they kill and Janna Kramer was a

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<v Speaker 1>nominee as well. Jannah was Caitlin Bristol for her podcast

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<v Speaker 1>I Hope. Congratulations to I Heeart podcast. Okay, Janna and

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<v Speaker 1>Tanya and Becca congratulations. Congratulations guys. Um. Also, today is

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<v Speaker 1>the big day for you, and it's a big day

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<v Speaker 1>for me personally. It's an actor's birthday. He's one of

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<v Speaker 1>my favorite actors of all time. He's one of all

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<v Speaker 1>our favorite actors of all time. Let's be honest. Now

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<v Speaker 1>we're taking podcast, but we have to talk about this.

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<v Speaker 1>It's Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday, Ladies and gentlemen, I just watched

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<v Speaker 1>laugh Forever. I watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

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<v Speaker 1>on my flight back from New York. Well, I was

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<v Speaker 1>gonna ask, thinking, like, go see, it's Leo's birthday. What

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<v Speaker 1>is your favorite Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Honestly, as much as

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<v Speaker 1>I really enjoyed Once upon the Time and how they

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<v Speaker 1>would have thought he was fantastic in it, I think

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<v Speaker 1>my favorite acting performance of his was in Gilbert Grape. Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>He's incredible and disappears into that. You know, it's so

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<v Speaker 1>funny that movie has for a lot of people not

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<v Speaker 1>aged well, and his performance has an aged disagree. I

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<v Speaker 1>think I think he's fantastic in it. But but it

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<v Speaker 1>is it a situation where if you play is it

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<v Speaker 1>no longer correct to play someone with a handicap? I

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<v Speaker 1>think it is correct. Brian Cranston went through this when

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<v Speaker 1>he was upside down? Are the up and Down? He

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<v Speaker 1>was in the movie with Kevin Hart, where he played

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<v Speaker 1>a paraplegic got a lot of flap side side, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>He got a lot of flak for doing that. But

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<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day, an actor's job is

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<v Speaker 1>to perform a role. So true, but nowadays they say,

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<v Speaker 1>calft someone with that affliction as that role, or half

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<v Speaker 1>the transgender and a transgender role. And scartlet your hands

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<v Speaker 1>and was supposed to play a transgender she dropped out

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<v Speaker 1>because of the backlash. So all right, I can see

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<v Speaker 1>both sides of it, because I can see the side

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<v Speaker 1>where you want people with the you know, with a

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<v Speaker 1>disability to have an opportunity to get that role. But

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<v Speaker 1>at the same time, a lot of production companies are

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<v Speaker 1>investing a lot of money in these in these you

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<v Speaker 1>know films, and so you wanted to do well, so

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<v Speaker 1>you get an actor like Brian Cranston, and so actually

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<v Speaker 1>you want to challenge, You want to challenge, and playing

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<v Speaker 1>someone who's blind, for example, is a huge challenge for

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<v Speaker 1>an act exactly. But we're really getting off topic. But

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<v Speaker 1>so that's your favorite role. Is it also your favorite movie? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>give me a second on you know you're a big

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<v Speaker 1>film guy. I really liked Revolutionary Road. He Didted with

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Shannon. Yet over two and movies I've ever even

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<v Speaker 1>heard of. You never heard a Revolutionary Road again. It

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<v Speaker 1>was the first movie they did together since Titanic, and

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<v Speaker 1>they went on record saying they wanted to do a

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<v Speaker 1>very small and well not it's not a all indie movie,

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<v Speaker 1>but a very small production scaled movie because of Titanic.

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<v Speaker 1>Whenever they did another movie together, which was Revolutionary Road

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<v Speaker 1>directed by Sam Mendez, one of my favorite directors because

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<v Speaker 1>he did American Beauty. I feel like everyone just flexing

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<v Speaker 1>on me right now. Everyone knows all that stuff about movies.

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<v Speaker 1>You're name in these lesser known movies that apparently Leo

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<v Speaker 1>is just kick acid in. You're knowing directors and all

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<v Speaker 1>that big film guy. By the way, Revolutionary Road. Great

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<v Speaker 1>performance by Michael Shannon. Oh my god, Michael Shanahan was

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<v Speaker 1>a channing for the Broncos and was for that movie.

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<v Speaker 1>I believe you got an Oscar nomination. Should we just

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<v Speaker 1>turn this into a movie podcast? What's your game? What's

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite Leo movie? Well, and I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>need to say something I can't say like Titanic. You

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<v Speaker 1>can't say Titanic because that's land, but anything else work. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you could say Titanic. Um, it's either between catch me

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<v Speaker 1>if you can, that's one or Wolf of Wall Street. There. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>let me let me ask you this. So back when

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<v Speaker 1>I used to have a job, uh in our office,

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<v Speaker 1>to kill time, we would sometimes google actors and then

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<v Speaker 1>when you google actor, there's like a list of movies

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<v Speaker 1>that come up. And so the game was you would

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<v Speaker 1>google the actor, and then everyone around you would have

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<v Speaker 1>to guess the first three movies that come up when

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<v Speaker 1>you google that actor. It's really Bird in the Midnight

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<v Speaker 1>Oil over there. Hey, we worked hard to be played. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm gonna I'm gonna play that game with you

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<v Speaker 1>guys right now, real quick if we can. Okay. So

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<v Speaker 1>Leonardo DiCaprio is the actor that's googled. There's three movies

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<v Speaker 1>that come up. It's basically like it's not maybe the

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<v Speaker 1>most it's not like the biggest box office hit movies,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's three movies that probably the most. Well you

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<v Speaker 1>did this, you look this up. I have it on

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<v Speaker 1>my phone right now and you're playing the game, So

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<v Speaker 1>don't look it up. I'm not I'm not. I was

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<v Speaker 1>about to in the night close the town. You get

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<v Speaker 1>three strikes and This might take a little longer than

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<v Speaker 1>we have time for, but we're gonna play it real quick.

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<v Speaker 1>Three strikes. Leonardo's the first three movies on Google. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>do it once a week. How about right with a

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<v Speaker 1>different actor, absolutely an actor of the birthday of that week,

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<v Speaker 1>birthday today. Here we go instituting a new tradition right now,

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone has to agree on the movie that you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>So like, if Easton says if you can, and one

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<v Speaker 1>of you disagrees, then you can't it myself Eastern Mark,

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<v Speaker 1>he normally get three strikes. I'm only giving you, guys

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<v Speaker 1>two strikes considering your movie. Buffons. Titanic is obvious, right,

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<v Speaker 1>that's got I would say Titanic has to be up there. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>that's locked in. Titanic is alright, alright, alright. Now number two,

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<v Speaker 1>The Departed has to be up there. Right for Lee,

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<v Speaker 1>I think he's almost well known. Yeah, I think they Departed.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. This is tough because he has a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I would say either The Departed or Wolf of Wall Street.

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<v Speaker 1>The Revenception could be up there, but he did win

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<v Speaker 1>for Revenant. That that which will boost its Google searches. God, alright,

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<v Speaker 1>we Departed. Now now I'm second guessing myself, though maybe

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<v Speaker 1>not Departed. I feel like Wolf of Wall Street might

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<v Speaker 1>be more up there than Departed, by the way, Departed

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<v Speaker 1>is my favorite. I wonder if this is affected by

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<v Speaker 1>recent movies. I could Once Upon a Time and how

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<v Speaker 1>they would be in there because everyone's taught, everyone's googling,

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<v Speaker 1>and now, all right, what is our vote? I'm nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>Are we get two strikes? So should we go Wolf

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<v Speaker 1>Wall Street or Revenant? I say one of those two street? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>even though you want for the revenue, people are probably

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<v Speaker 1>googling Wilful all Street more and it's there. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>you have one more movie to guess, and do you

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<v Speaker 1>have two strikes? So good jobs so far. I say

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<v Speaker 1>we go with Once Upon Tom in Hollywin. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think that's about the timing of it just came out

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<v Speaker 1>in the summer. It's probably coming to DVD very soon.

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<v Speaker 1>He'll likely get nominated for this, I believe, because it's

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<v Speaker 1>a big, high profile Tarantino movie. Oh it's great. Okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, okay, Once upon a Time in Hollywood is

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<v Speaker 1>not on. No, we're in trouble. I got one more

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<v Speaker 1>stroke account all right, let's think about this. It's got

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<v Speaker 1>to be your inception could be up there, but revenue

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<v Speaker 1>he did win for Best Picture? What about like? Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Did the Aviator like Men in the Iron mask the beach?

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<v Speaker 1>The beach might be out there. Uh. The only thing

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking about the parted here is because Scorsese has

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<v Speaker 1>been in the news with the Irishman and the whole thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe that's the time because we got that one wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>So maybe timely isn't the way to play this game.

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<v Speaker 1>May we get that one right? What's spent time? Hollywood

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<v Speaker 1>was up there? Right? Oh no, no, that was our strike.

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta really pay attention. Yeah, so I'm thinking it

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<v Speaker 1>might just be an accumulative search. I also hope people

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<v Speaker 1>listening to this are driving so they don't have they can't.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it gonna be some dating advice? Just help my

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<v Speaker 1>second day? I don't want to be that guy. But

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<v Speaker 1>for the sake of time, we are now on a

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<v Speaker 1>thirty second time or done a ten second time or

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<v Speaker 1>thirty seconds way so long. I love knowing that Dean

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<v Speaker 1>has updated a thirteen point one because that's the new timer.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's a good to have. Oh he upgraded of

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<v Speaker 1>the circle. The circle going around was a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>time seconds. Uh what did we narrow it down to

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<v Speaker 1>inception a Revenant? Oh no, no, in stept sharing Departed, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I think the Departed. It was your first instanct.

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<v Speaker 1>We're going departed. You're going departed over all of those

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<v Speaker 1>other ones, the part it is no on that third one.

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<v Speaker 1>It was the only one who's won an oscar for

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<v Speaker 1>the revenue. Damnit. Next week for another episode after Movies

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<v Speaker 1>with Marty's Garrett. Yeah, that was fun. It's a stupid game,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's kind of fun. Anyways. Congratulations to Leonardo DiCaprio

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<v Speaker 1>for celebrating his fifty eight birthday today. Yes, how old?

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea. He's got to be late forties.

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<v Speaker 1>He's got bring it up. Podcast is going to be

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<v Speaker 1>about Dicaprioeen, is it older? Younger than seven? I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's omnose on these. I think he's younger. I think

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<v Speaker 1>he's so close. Well, we have an incredible episode for you,

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<v Speaker 1>Leonardo DiCaprio is gonna be wouldn't that be some actually

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<v Speaker 1>funny story? I told you, I texted you guys this.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw Lawrence Fishburn at Hopeful it's right across the street,

0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.400
<v Speaker 1>and I wanted to say hi so badly because I'm

0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:05.400
<v Speaker 1>a big Lauren Laurence Fishburn fan. I remember watching The

0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:07.920
<v Speaker 1>Matrix as a kid. It was very influential as in

0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:09.959
<v Speaker 1>my childhood. And then I went back and watched a

0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:12.640
<v Speaker 1>lot of a lot of Laurence Fishburn's movies that I could.

0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.720
<v Speaker 1>I was a big fan of a movie called Fled,

0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.000
<v Speaker 1>which was like this total be action movie with him,

0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:22.320
<v Speaker 1>Stephen Ballwood and Samahiak and I freaking loved that movie

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.160
<v Speaker 1>so much. It was like that movie that you'd go

0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.280
<v Speaker 1>to Hollywood Video or Blockbuster as a kid and just

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.520
<v Speaker 1>rent constantly. It was like either that or Superman for

0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.480
<v Speaker 1>the Quest for Peace. This is the kind of child

0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:34.600
<v Speaker 1>I was, um But anyway, so that's that's our That's

0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.720
<v Speaker 1>that's my actors sighting for the day. What Jerry was

0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:39.440
<v Speaker 1>trying to say was, we got a great episode today.

0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:44.040
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna have We're gonna have Tracy Crossley on who

0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.480
<v Speaker 1>has her own dating podcast, to talk about attachment styles

0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.200
<v Speaker 1>a little bit with her. We're gonna speak with Katie

0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:52.400
<v Speaker 1>from fab fit Fun just a little bit. We love

0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.360
<v Speaker 1>f fit Fun here on the Help by second dating podcast. Um,

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:56.719
<v Speaker 1>before we do any of that, we're gonna take a

0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 1>quick break. But before we took that quick break, Jared,

0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:01.720
<v Speaker 1>how was that last week? Nap? It was great. We

0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:04.280
<v Speaker 1>recorded a couple of episodes. We had Joan Kendall talking

0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:08.520
<v Speaker 1>about their dating app. We interviewed a band called King Callaway,

0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:11.280
<v Speaker 1>which is like this young country band, but also it's

0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.600
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of a boy band, which they didn't

0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.679
<v Speaker 1>like when I said that. But I'm a huge defender

0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 1>of boy bands, as you guys well known, and I

0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:21.199
<v Speaker 1>think Backstreet Boys is one of the most uh polarizing

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:25.400
<v Speaker 1>and uh popular bands and the history of music. That's right,

0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:27.440
<v Speaker 1>I said it come at me, bro Uh. They were

0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:29.640
<v Speaker 1>awesome and so it was a lot of fun. But

0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:32.600
<v Speaker 1>it stayed at this beautiful resort. It was a great time,

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.520
<v Speaker 1>quick trip, but a lot of fun. Nice Thanks for

0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 1>asking Dean, we missed you. Why Why couldn't you come?

0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I was in Mexico or not climbing? That makes sense

0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:43.840
<v Speaker 1>for ten days? I know I followed Dean's location on

0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 1>my phone. Soever I go my find my friends in mecations?

0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Do we share? I know I have ours? You only

0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.240
<v Speaker 1>have mine. It's funny, actually, cause I was in Mexico

0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.000
<v Speaker 1>when you guys were recording in that. But I was like,

0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:56.000
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if Mark's like, you know where I am

0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.559
<v Speaker 1>right now? Actually crossed my mind. I was like, I

0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.720
<v Speaker 1>wonder if Mark's like checking me out? I checked you up.

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 1>I think it's only fair if you share your Yeah,

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.040
<v Speaker 1>I follow Mark's location. I'm gonta send mind to you

0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.000
<v Speaker 1>two right now, just so you have it. Share locations

0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.120
<v Speaker 1>with each other, oh constantly, I'm surrobasedly has to put

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.440
<v Speaker 1>a chip in me. Yet I think Caitlin and I

0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.960
<v Speaker 1>have hard locations shared. I'm pretty sure. I never check it.

0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 1>It was very funny. I'm waiting for it. Um, but yeah,

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:23.840
<v Speaker 1>we share locations. But anyway, yes, Eastern, I'm very just

0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:27.120
<v Speaker 1>let me know here we go, share location share indefinitely.

0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 1>So what now is his team Mark and Dean versus

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:33.280
<v Speaker 1>team Eastern and Jared or what Well, if it's in

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 1>terms of like how many miles actually I might win

0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.560
<v Speaker 1>because I fly a lot, I'm not drive a lot.

0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying we'll get those miles Eastern, I'm just saying,

0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 1>if Mark has my location, Easton has your location. That's

0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:47.920
<v Speaker 1>kind of like division of keep tabs on the host. Yeah,

0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.200
<v Speaker 1>like Eastan where the hell's Jared? Even though I'm always

0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.559
<v Speaker 1>on time, So I don't know why we say that. Uh,

0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 1>did you drive down to Mexico by the way, No,

0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 1>I flew La Monterey, drove up to Hudalgo rock climb

0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.960
<v Speaker 1>for ten days. Great, I think, no real dating new

0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:01.680
<v Speaker 1>to report back from that trip. I didn't record a

0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:03.280
<v Speaker 1>podcast with Joe and Kendall or anything like that, but

0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.040
<v Speaker 1>it was fun. I mean, we missed you a napa.

0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:09.280
<v Speaker 1>It's always better when we're together, but it's always better

0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.000
<v Speaker 1>when we're together. I didn't shower the entire time I

0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:13.559
<v Speaker 1>was down there, which is great as a personal challenge

0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.400
<v Speaker 1>I set out for. I felt, when the last time

0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:18.960
<v Speaker 1>you wash your hair yesterday? When I got back, How

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 1>long did you go? Ten days? But I jumped in

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.040
<v Speaker 1>the pool a couple of times. I just like, didn't shower. Ever,

0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Chlarine helps unfortunate for the people who also use that

0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:28.800
<v Speaker 1>pool or sat next to you on the plane. Right.

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.360
<v Speaker 1>But here's the thing that I've actually realized is a

0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.200
<v Speaker 1>lot of what the hell is it smell like chlarine

0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.040
<v Speaker 1>in this plane? Whenever I'm around you guys, I always

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.200
<v Speaker 1>feel like an outsider, right, But whenever I'm around people

0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:39.840
<v Speaker 1>like that, like like rock climb with or do any

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.200
<v Speaker 1>of that stuff. But they're all doing the same stuff

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing. They like put me. They like love that

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:44.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm living in a van. They love that, like I'm

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.520
<v Speaker 1>out stinky and stuff. Let me clarify. We all love

0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.120
<v Speaker 1>that you're living in a vantage. But I guess I'm

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 1>sorry I need to clarify too. I guess that we

0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>all are just kind of doing the same thing, and

0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:55.840
<v Speaker 1>so we all like understand each other a lot more

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 1>in that sense specifically where they're like, yeah, I haven't

0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.960
<v Speaker 1>showered in two weeks, are there? Yeah I've been homeless

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.080
<v Speaker 1>for four months now, and like stuff like that, and

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:04.840
<v Speaker 1>they all it's just like it's like it's like second

0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 1>nature to them, you know what I mean. They're I

0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.240
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, yeah, I'm flying to Alaska to go

0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:09.800
<v Speaker 1>skiing for two weeks now, and I'm like that sounds

0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Where do you stay in Mexico? Yeah, we had an airbnb.

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:14.680
<v Speaker 1>There's like there's like twelve of us in a in

0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 1>a big airbnb. Did you know all twelve people? It

0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:18.880
<v Speaker 1>was just like okay, yeah, I thought there was like

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>some sort of van community. Do you feel safe down there?

0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.240
<v Speaker 1>I know that was a concern. Yeah, we looked up

0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 1>some headlines before going down there. There's like eighteen butchered

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 1>and dismembered and throwing in a world and we kind

0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:29.720
<v Speaker 1>of joked about it. But then when we got down there,

0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 1>there was never a moment where we felt unsafe. And

0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of a bummer that Mexico gets such a

0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 1>bad rep and like, obviously there's some bad stuff that's happening,

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.720
<v Speaker 1>but there's also bad stuff that's happening in the US.

0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that we don't really pay much attention to.

0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, no, I've never felt unsafe. Um, it was.

0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:43.000
<v Speaker 1>It was a good trip and I'm glad that you

0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:44.440
<v Speaker 1>had a good trip up in Napos. I'm sad I

0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 1>missed it. Yeah, I'm sad you missed it too, But

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.080
<v Speaker 1>well we'll be back. Were back in Nappy anytimes. What's

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 1>funny is I texted Amy, I said, Hey, I can't come.

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be in Monterey and she goes, wait,

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 1>that's perfect, that's what We're gonna be in the Monterey California. Yeah,

0:15:58.440 --> 0:15:59.760
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, oh, wait, no, that's not right.

0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:03.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean Monterey, Mexico. Now you anyways, special episode, anything

0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 1>else you wanna touch on before we get into our

0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 1>first break, before our first guest, no, I say, we'd

0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.320
<v Speaker 1>go right to it. And then we have fa Fit

0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Fun coming up with. If you're in southern California and

0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:21.320
<v Speaker 1>love Cheryl Crow, who doesn't love a little soak up

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.640
<v Speaker 1>the sun, we have something very special for you. Cheryl

0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 1>is doing a private performance at the I Heart Radio

0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:31.800
<v Speaker 1>Theater Monday, December two at seven pm. It's free. You

0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 1>just need to email us to R s v P

0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:36.160
<v Speaker 1>and we will email you back to confirm. So email

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.760
<v Speaker 1>I suck at dating at i heeart Media dot com.

0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.960
<v Speaker 1>That's I suck at dating at i heeart media dot

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.240
<v Speaker 1>com if you would like tickets to see Chryl Crow

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:51.280
<v Speaker 1>in l A. All right, we are back with the

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:55.400
<v Speaker 1>one of the co founders of fab fit Fun, Katie Kitchens. Katie,

0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.320
<v Speaker 1>how are you and well, how are you? We are great?

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us and for our listeners out there.

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:02.760
<v Speaker 1>You've heard us talk about fat fit Fun before. You

0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:05.320
<v Speaker 1>probably are already a subscriber to fab fit Fun. And

0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.720
<v Speaker 1>if you're not, you've probably seen any one of the

0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 1>numerous Bachelor alumni promoted on their social channels, maybe on

0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.679
<v Speaker 1>their podcast. But Katie, just give us a quick rundown

0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.720
<v Speaker 1>on what fab fit Fun is. Absolutely So. We are

0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:22.840
<v Speaker 1>a lifestyle membership best known for our subscription boxes. So

0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:26.280
<v Speaker 1>people can sign up, they pay fifty dollars a quarter

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 1>and they're going to get treated to over two hundred

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.479
<v Speaker 1>dollars in full size beauty, fashion, fitness, home wellness and

0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:37.000
<v Speaker 1>text products every season and then it gives you access

0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.640
<v Speaker 1>to a greater membership. So things like fat bit Fun TV.

0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Our community are amazing flash shales where members can shop

0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:48.239
<v Speaker 1>um really great brands, UM with better prices anywhere they

0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.439
<v Speaker 1>can find online or in real life. Okay, so what

0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.920
<v Speaker 1>kind of stuff is it? Though, it's it's it's basically

0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:55.400
<v Speaker 1>you in a sex but there's a lot of it's

0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 1>female oriented as well or what I don't know, beauty

0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:02.840
<v Speaker 1>products I know my favorite. Yeah, it's what we call lifestyle.

0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.159
<v Speaker 1>So you know every you know, it's just everything that

0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:08.000
<v Speaker 1>makes you feel good. So you know, in the beauty categories,

0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 1>there's getting care, there's hairy care, there's cosmetics, um, all

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 1>of the body out work to like tech products, and

0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.720
<v Speaker 1>so that's what we're talking about, you know, Beats, headphones, UM,

0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:21.400
<v Speaker 1>electric diffusers, massagers, all kinds of cool stuff. Who hand

0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:24.719
<v Speaker 1>picks the stuff that goes in the box. So UM,

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.400
<v Speaker 1>it's been a little bit of an evolution UM that

0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:30.240
<v Speaker 1>I sort of oversee what we call partnerships that includes

0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 1>carrying the box. So in the beginning, you know, I

0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:37.040
<v Speaker 1>picked eight products that I loved. Everyone came from UM,

0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.119
<v Speaker 1>a digital media brand that we had built UM, and

0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.199
<v Speaker 1>so they were very much my demotip. I liked it.

0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, chances were high that members were gonna like

0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:47.760
<v Speaker 1>it as well. And now that we are one million clubs,

0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:51.320
<v Speaker 1>it's a much more diverse audience. UM. So we have

0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:54.800
<v Speaker 1>a merchandising team who has you know, incredible case as

0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:58.639
<v Speaker 1>trend forecasting over a year in advance, alongside a really

0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:02.240
<v Speaker 1>robust UM consumer insights and data science team. You know,

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:04.959
<v Speaker 1>so they are constantly serving members about who they are,

0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:07.480
<v Speaker 1>what brands they are like, what trends are excited by

0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:09.760
<v Speaker 1>and all of that. Then you know, arms the merged

0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:12.119
<v Speaker 1>team to go find you know, the best products and

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.960
<v Speaker 1>the best brands each season. And I think the other

0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:16.720
<v Speaker 1>piece that's kind of cool is that you know. The

0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:21.399
<v Speaker 1>boxes are now customized to each individual member, so um

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.640
<v Speaker 1>work since two ways you know one. Members can pick

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.919
<v Speaker 1>different products in their box, so you may choose between,

0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, an eyeshadow pellette and oversized scarf or an

0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:32.760
<v Speaker 1>electric diffuser, or if you want to remain surprised each

0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:35.920
<v Speaker 1>season like the beginning are wonderful team of data scientists

0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.520
<v Speaker 1>will choose for you based on your profile. I'm a

0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:40.800
<v Speaker 1>big advocate of f fit Fun. It's a great gift

0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.159
<v Speaker 1>for your fiance wife in my opinion, Dean, it's a

0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 1>great gift for girlfriends as well. So if you're looking

0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.880
<v Speaker 1>for a Christmas gift for Calin, look no further. It's

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:50.639
<v Speaker 1>very high on the list. And I also enjoy it

0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.480
<v Speaker 1>because it's like a Christmas gift every season because you

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:57.240
<v Speaker 1>get one box for every season. You get winter, spring, fall, uh,

0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:00.439
<v Speaker 1>and summer. Miss that one whoops uh. And it's like

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.200
<v Speaker 1>you said, you can customize it to um your own

0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 1>personal needs. So if you're a member and you want

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:08.400
<v Speaker 1>a particular beauty product over one, or if you want

0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:09.840
<v Speaker 1>like a blanket in there, or if you want to

0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:11.359
<v Speaker 1>make it a little bit more unisex, like you were

0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:13.480
<v Speaker 1>talking about Dean, you can do that, which is pretty awesome.

0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:17.520
<v Speaker 1>He let me ask you this. So it's a seasonal product, right,

0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:19.840
<v Speaker 1>Like you get one box per season. Let's say I

0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:23.920
<v Speaker 1>get my girlfriend the box as a gift, but then

0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:26.919
<v Speaker 1>god forbid, we break up, but she's still getting the

0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:29.960
<v Speaker 1>gift every every single season. What do I do? Then?

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:36.480
<v Speaker 1>What is wrong? Either you're the best ex boyfriend to exist,

0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:41.639
<v Speaker 1>which let's that's cool um, or your credit card you

0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:43.520
<v Speaker 1>can transfer it over to your new girlfriends. But I

0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:45.280
<v Speaker 1>guess I'm more curious what's the etiquette on it? Like

0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:47.199
<v Speaker 1>I don't want her to stop receiving the boxes just

0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:50.120
<v Speaker 1>because we broke up, do I? I I mean, it depends

0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:52.160
<v Speaker 1>if you cheat on you, like what was the reason

0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 1>for the breakout? You're right, So if it's amicable, then

0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:56.119
<v Speaker 1>maybe we can continue out like another four seasons. But

0:20:56.160 --> 0:21:00.560
<v Speaker 1>if it's if it's like yeah, yeah, okay, if you're not.

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:03.800
<v Speaker 1>But we've seen that before where it's like, you know,

0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:05.280
<v Speaker 1>you go through a breakup and then you have like

0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:07.719
<v Speaker 1>these joint subscriptions to things, then where do you go

0:21:07.760 --> 0:21:10.080
<v Speaker 1>how do you allocate one subscription to the next. In

0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:12.240
<v Speaker 1>this case, I think that you just kind of keep

0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:14.879
<v Speaker 1>getting letting her get the Fit Fund box. Well, anyway,

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:18.399
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna segue away from that whole conversation. But also

0:21:18.440 --> 0:21:20.359
<v Speaker 1>with fat fit Fund, like you said, Katie, it is

0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:24.919
<v Speaker 1>nine for the subscription seasonal subscription. But for all your

0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.120
<v Speaker 1>listeners out there, if you guys use our promo code help,

0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna get ten dollars off your first box, which

0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 1>these boxes have over two dollars worth of value in

0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 1>each box that you'll get with our code help for thirty.

0:21:39.680 --> 0:21:42.399
<v Speaker 1>It's the perfect Christmas gift. But you guys also just

0:21:42.440 --> 0:21:46.480
<v Speaker 1>started fat fit Fund TV, which the first video I

0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:48.720
<v Speaker 1>see is gluten free peanut butter Cookies, which I'm very

0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:53.600
<v Speaker 1>excited about. But you guys talk about meditation, lifestyle, uh yoga,

0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:56.440
<v Speaker 1>all these different dance classes. You guys have a whole

0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:00.840
<v Speaker 1>uh TV. You guys are like the Netflix of lifestyle.

0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:03.879
<v Speaker 1>Can you talk about a little bit about that? Yeah, No,

0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.960
<v Speaker 1>that's you know, that's exactitely the goal. We actually started

0:22:07.000 --> 0:22:10.919
<v Speaker 1>in content um. We were an online magazine UM for

0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:14.199
<v Speaker 1>several years before launching the boxes UM, and so we

0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:17.359
<v Speaker 1>really believe that we are storytellers at heart, and so

0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:19.440
<v Speaker 1>part of that is, you know, you may get a

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:23.080
<v Speaker 1>fitness product in your box. Let's say, like the jump

0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:26.240
<v Speaker 1>rope that we created with Venus Williams earlier this year,

0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:28.240
<v Speaker 1>and so that you can love on the fab bit

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:32.280
<v Speaker 1>Fun TV and find a host of exclusive you know,

0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:36.800
<v Speaker 1>jump rope workouts created by Venus that you can then do.

0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:39.359
<v Speaker 1>So we don't want to just send you products, you know,

0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:42.480
<v Speaker 1>we you know our intention is to deliver happiness and

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:44.960
<v Speaker 1>while being to our members every season. Well, there you go.

0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:46.520
<v Speaker 1>If you're listening to this and you want to jump

0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:49.040
<v Speaker 1>on board the fab fit fund train, be sure to

0:22:49.119 --> 0:22:51.679
<v Speaker 1>jump online and order your fab fit Fund box. Use

0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:54.359
<v Speaker 1>code Help You'll get ten dollars off. Katie. This is awesome.

0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:55.600
<v Speaker 1>It was great to kind of dive into a little

0:22:55.600 --> 0:22:57.920
<v Speaker 1>bit more with you understand etiquette a little bit more

0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:01.000
<v Speaker 1>post break up with the fait fund boxes. But we

0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:04.760
<v Speaker 1>appreciate taking the time, so lovely chatting with you guys.

0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:17.280
<v Speaker 1>All right, take care, Thanks Katie, All right, and welcome back.

0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:20.959
<v Speaker 1>As promised, we have Tracy Crossley in studio with us.

0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Tracy is a behavioral relationship expert and she hosts her

0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 1>own podcast. But Tracy, we really want to dive into

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.560
<v Speaker 1>your knowledge of things like bread crumbing and the sort

0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.040
<v Speaker 1>and the like and all that kind of stuff. Okay, UM,

0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:35.440
<v Speaker 1>but for our listeners out there, can you just give

0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:38.080
<v Speaker 1>a quick introduction of yourself run us down on kind

0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:39.920
<v Speaker 1>of what you've been up to your podcasts as well,

0:23:40.000 --> 0:23:44.120
<v Speaker 1>and what qualifies you to be helping us with these

0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:48.560
<v Speaker 1>dating terms. What qualifies you to be a behavioral relationship expert.

0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:51.800
<v Speaker 1>I became a coach, specifically a love coach, and at

0:23:51.800 --> 0:23:54.080
<v Speaker 1>the time it became a love coach, that was probably

0:23:54.080 --> 0:23:56.080
<v Speaker 1>the last thing in my life that was going on,

0:23:56.880 --> 0:23:59.040
<v Speaker 1>and so it was kind of like taking my own

0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:02.959
<v Speaker 1>journey of what I was going through with relationships, and

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:05.479
<v Speaker 1>I learned a lot on top of my training, and

0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:09.400
<v Speaker 1>that's basically how I became a behavioral relationship expert. Um. Yeah,

0:24:09.440 --> 0:24:11.520
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like an important title, doesn't it. It does.

0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:15.000
<v Speaker 1>What is So? Does that mean that you can tell

0:24:15.000 --> 0:24:18.040
<v Speaker 1>how relationships going by body movement? That's what comes to

0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 1>my mind. So I can tell by basically, well, for example,

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:23.920
<v Speaker 1>Dean is rubbing my shoulders right now, what does that mean?

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:30.800
<v Speaker 1>And now he's saying here okay, So um, basically I

0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 1>can tell just by somebody starting to talk, like they

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:36.160
<v Speaker 1>start telling me about their relationship, or they start telling

0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:39.920
<v Speaker 1>me about um anything like if I were dating, which

0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:42.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm not, but if I were dating UM, I would

0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:44.520
<v Speaker 1>just be listening to the things that they say, and

0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:46.280
<v Speaker 1>I can kind of tell, oh, you know what, this

0:24:46.320 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 1>person is a victim, or this person is an avoidant,

0:24:48.600 --> 0:24:50.840
<v Speaker 1>or this person's got anxiety, like you can just tell.

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:52.959
<v Speaker 1>Part of me wants you to see if we can

0:24:53.000 --> 0:24:54.919
<v Speaker 1>have you dissect our relationships, but the other part of

0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:56.560
<v Speaker 1>me wants to stay as far as far away from

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:58.520
<v Speaker 1>that as possible. I think that's a fantastic idea. I'm

0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:00.199
<v Speaker 1>an open book team, which one the first are to

0:25:00.200 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 1>the second part both? So what her telling like looking

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:10.439
<v Speaker 1>at our body language towards our significant others in determining

0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:12.600
<v Speaker 1>are is there any prep work that goes into this

0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:15.239
<v Speaker 1>And as far as as far as you're you're being

0:25:15.240 --> 0:25:17.879
<v Speaker 1>able to read the person as they define their relationship. No,

0:25:18.000 --> 0:25:20.199
<v Speaker 1>because usually people will start telling me things like I'm

0:25:20.240 --> 0:25:21.840
<v Speaker 1>one of those people that I get on an airplane

0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:24.200
<v Speaker 1>and I learned everybody's life story anyways, so people will

0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:26.560
<v Speaker 1>just start divulging information. Do you like doing that or

0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:29.920
<v Speaker 1>just is that kind of the vibe you give off. Um.

0:25:29.960 --> 0:25:32.320
<v Speaker 1>I think it's both. I mean, I like doing it

0:25:32.400 --> 0:25:34.959
<v Speaker 1>because I don't fly well, so it would always make

0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:37.520
<v Speaker 1>me feel better about talking people. Yeah, I'm going down

0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:39.640
<v Speaker 1>with all these folks if you go down right. Yeah,

0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:41.919
<v Speaker 1>that's a terrifying thought. But I understand quick side by

0:25:42.000 --> 0:25:43.800
<v Speaker 1>real quick. I was on a flight yesterday from Houston

0:25:43.840 --> 0:25:46.400
<v Speaker 1>to Los Angeles, and, uh, first time it's ever happened

0:25:46.400 --> 0:25:47.600
<v Speaker 1>to me. I've been on a lot of airplanes, right,

0:25:47.640 --> 0:25:50.159
<v Speaker 1>And all of a sudden, uh, like the flight attendant

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:52.400
<v Speaker 1>that rushes over and she goes, I smell something. Something

0:25:52.480 --> 0:25:54.159
<v Speaker 1>is burning. I smell something, and I'm sitting next to

0:25:54.200 --> 0:25:56.280
<v Speaker 1>an elderly couple and they start freaking out. They go,

0:25:56.359 --> 0:25:58.760
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, something is burning. And the flight attendant goes,

0:25:58.760 --> 0:26:00.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get the captain. We're gonna the captain real quick.

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.679
<v Speaker 1>He's gonna come back here. I never heard from anything

0:26:02.680 --> 0:26:04.840
<v Speaker 1>ever again, I didn't spell anything. So the airline was this.

0:26:05.400 --> 0:26:06.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna name the airline. It sounds like the

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:09.080
<v Speaker 1>worst flight attendant I've ever heard. Why would you ever

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:12.000
<v Speaker 1>start a panic in the middle and an airplane? That's

0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:13.480
<v Speaker 1>my point. I was blown away. I was like, Wow,

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:15.920
<v Speaker 1>this this person reacted so poorly in the situation. Something

0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:17.720
<v Speaker 1>really was burning. That's the last thing that you wanted. Yeah,

0:26:17.760 --> 0:26:20.840
<v Speaker 1>you walk by, you smell, you try to defuse the situation.

0:26:20.960 --> 0:26:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Then you go get the captain. He comes and smells.

0:26:23.040 --> 0:26:24.679
<v Speaker 1>You don't run to the middle of the plane and

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:27.120
<v Speaker 1>say I spelled something bright And they were like looking

0:26:27.119 --> 0:26:28.680
<v Speaker 1>at me there like is it you? Is it your phone?

0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:30.440
<v Speaker 1>Is something burning over there? I was like, I don't

0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:32.040
<v Speaker 1>smell anything. I was like sitting there compa but the

0:26:32.080 --> 0:26:34.000
<v Speaker 1>couple next to mispeaking out. Anyways, I'm sorry for the sidebar.

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:35.920
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to show that story real quick, totally funny,

0:26:35.960 --> 0:26:37.240
<v Speaker 1>because I don't know what I would have done in

0:26:37.240 --> 0:26:39.920
<v Speaker 1>that case. Yeah. Yeah, I've a boarded a landing once.

0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:41.800
<v Speaker 1>That was the worst thing that's ever happened. Where you're

0:26:41.840 --> 0:26:43.560
<v Speaker 1>descending and we were pretty close to the ground and

0:26:43.560 --> 0:26:44.960
<v Speaker 1>then all of a sudden you could feel the plane

0:26:45.000 --> 0:26:46.639
<v Speaker 1>drop a little bit because he kicked the engines in,

0:26:46.680 --> 0:26:49.880
<v Speaker 1>and then you just start ascending and there was no announcements,

0:26:50.040 --> 0:26:51.760
<v Speaker 1>and then finally about five minutes later, he came back

0:26:51.800 --> 0:26:54.399
<v Speaker 1>and said, oh, sorry, there's a miscommunication with air traffic control.

0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:56.520
<v Speaker 1>There's a plane already on our runway, so we're gonna

0:26:56.560 --> 0:26:58.719
<v Speaker 1>love around and do it again. It was like, okay, well,

0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:02.240
<v Speaker 1>let's just make sure we're all same page before landing. Anyway,

0:27:02.240 --> 0:27:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Tracy back to you. Sorry, Let's I want to have

0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:08.040
<v Speaker 1>you dive into Jared's relationship a little bit obviously, well,

0:27:08.119 --> 0:27:10.879
<v Speaker 1>and then dive into Dean's relationship. But before we do

0:27:10.920 --> 0:27:14.520
<v Speaker 1>any of that, are you familiar with either of our relationships? Okay? Perfect,

0:27:14.560 --> 0:27:16.240
<v Speaker 1>And we're not going to give you any information on that,

0:27:16.359 --> 0:27:18.680
<v Speaker 1>right at least beforehand. Do you need my wife here

0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:20.840
<v Speaker 1>to really tell Well? No, I mean if you you

0:27:20.960 --> 0:27:23.760
<v Speaker 1>just tell me anything about your relationship and we can

0:27:23.800 --> 0:27:25.479
<v Speaker 1>just go from there. I might have questions for you.

0:27:25.560 --> 0:27:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Let's Jared you start, I just tell you all right.

0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:33.520
<v Speaker 1>So I married my wife three months ago. We've been

0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:36.520
<v Speaker 1>together for almost two years, but we were friends for

0:27:36.560 --> 0:27:38.760
<v Speaker 1>three and a half years before that. We met on

0:27:38.800 --> 0:27:41.880
<v Speaker 1>a show Code Bachelor in Paradise. Uh. She was very

0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:44.919
<v Speaker 1>into me in the beginning, and I really cared about

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:46.760
<v Speaker 1>her very much so, but I was more in a

0:27:46.800 --> 0:27:50.920
<v Speaker 1>confusion state at that point, and then I she would

0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:54.720
<v Speaker 1>pursue and I was Withdrew for a while yep. And

0:27:54.760 --> 0:27:57.800
<v Speaker 1>then whatever that means. Uh. And then a couple of

0:27:57.840 --> 0:28:00.080
<v Speaker 1>years later, of course it's your age old story, she

0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:02.679
<v Speaker 1>starts dating someone else. I do some self reflecting and

0:28:02.680 --> 0:28:05.160
<v Speaker 1>realized that I'm an idiots, something I've known for quite

0:28:05.160 --> 0:28:07.679
<v Speaker 1>some time, but finally was able to cope with it.

0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:10.280
<v Speaker 1>Take action, tell her how I felt, uh, and go

0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:12.719
<v Speaker 1>after and win her heart, which is exactly what happened. Well,

0:28:12.720 --> 0:28:16.760
<v Speaker 1>you already had her heart one from the get go. Uh. Yeah,

0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:20.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean that sounds pretty obnoxious, but I guess it's true. Well,

0:28:20.160 --> 0:28:22.719
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like she was probably still attached to some

0:28:22.800 --> 0:28:28.040
<v Speaker 1>degree best friends in between after you. Yeah, we would

0:28:28.119 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 1>hang out. We would talk almost every day. Okay, Yeah,

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:33.600
<v Speaker 1>if it wasn't a healthy friendship, probably not. But you

0:28:33.600 --> 0:28:36.480
<v Speaker 1>guys ended up together. So I'm curious when things changed

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:39.959
<v Speaker 1>for you. Um, obviously you were able to get married.

0:28:39.960 --> 0:28:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Would you say that you still feel the same way

0:28:42.560 --> 0:28:45.360
<v Speaker 1>that you did before you asked her to marry you? Yeah,

0:28:45.560 --> 0:28:49.120
<v Speaker 1>so you've really been able to move into being securely

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:52.800
<v Speaker 1>attached with your wife. Oh yeah, I mean once we

0:28:52.840 --> 0:28:56.080
<v Speaker 1>got together, I was securely confident. I was confident that

0:28:56.120 --> 0:28:57.720
<v Speaker 1>we were going to spend the rest of our lives together,

0:28:57.880 --> 0:29:01.640
<v Speaker 1>just because I've always believed to that commit Listen, commitment

0:29:01.760 --> 0:29:03.960
<v Speaker 1>is a choice. I think a lot of people forget

0:29:04.000 --> 0:29:06.080
<v Speaker 1>that fact, and whenever something goes wrong with the relationship,

0:29:06.120 --> 0:29:08.280
<v Speaker 1>they immediately go to, well, this isn't the person for me,

0:29:08.360 --> 0:29:10.200
<v Speaker 1>and they forget that there's going to be bad times

0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:12.200
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship that you have to overcome together as

0:29:12.240 --> 0:29:16.440
<v Speaker 1>a couple. So I think it's this might sound bad,

0:29:16.600 --> 0:29:20.360
<v Speaker 1>but there's an aspect of love to me that's a

0:29:20.480 --> 0:29:24.480
<v Speaker 1>conscious choice. That sounds horrible. No it doesn't, but it

0:29:24.520 --> 0:29:26.560
<v Speaker 1>is a conscious choice. And I talk about choice all

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:30.800
<v Speaker 1>the time because people think, oh, I'm in this dysfunctional relationship.

0:29:30.880 --> 0:29:33.120
<v Speaker 1>How did I get here? I can't believe I'm here?

0:29:33.240 --> 0:29:34.960
<v Speaker 1>This person is a jerk, blah blah blah. And the

0:29:35.000 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 1>thing is is that they're not taking any responsibility for

0:29:37.480 --> 0:29:40.000
<v Speaker 1>the choice that they've made to be there. And that's

0:29:40.040 --> 0:29:43.560
<v Speaker 1>the thing where if you don't take responsibility for your choices,

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:46.280
<v Speaker 1>your whole life is going to be just something where

0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:49.239
<v Speaker 1>you're fumbling around all the time going oh, look at

0:29:49.240 --> 0:29:51.200
<v Speaker 1>this happened to me, Oh that happened to me. Yeah.

0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:53.480
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of times, especially in today's society,

0:29:53.520 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people lack accountability and want to point

0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:58.360
<v Speaker 1>fingers and blame others for what's happening to them, when

0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:01.200
<v Speaker 1>in fact, the decision is up to you. And don't

0:30:01.240 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 1>get me wrong, there's a lot of people in this

0:30:02.720 --> 0:30:05.440
<v Speaker 1>world that unfortunately just don't have a leg up and

0:30:05.760 --> 0:30:08.080
<v Speaker 1>need assistance. But there's also a lot of people that

0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:11.160
<v Speaker 1>I think, like you said, good examples of somebody who's

0:30:11.160 --> 0:30:12.800
<v Speaker 1>in a bad relationship and continues to be in a

0:30:12.840 --> 0:30:15.680
<v Speaker 1>bad relationship and blames everybody else except for themselves because

0:30:15.680 --> 0:30:20.040
<v Speaker 1>they won't take accountability with the fact that they're the

0:30:20.080 --> 0:30:22.760
<v Speaker 1>ones making the choice to stay in this bad relationship.

0:30:23.800 --> 0:30:25.920
<v Speaker 1>I can ask you a question. So you said a

0:30:25.960 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 1>couple of words, and we've touched on it and brief

0:30:27.800 --> 0:30:30.360
<v Speaker 1>on this podcast before, But you called Jared an avoidant

0:30:31.040 --> 0:30:33.080
<v Speaker 1>in the beginning stages of his relationship and now you're

0:30:33.080 --> 0:30:35.080
<v Speaker 1>saying he's secure, but there's different So can you just

0:30:35.120 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 1>talk about the like why you're using those words and

0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:39.920
<v Speaker 1>what those words mean? Exactly? Sure? Absolutely So. Are you

0:30:39.920 --> 0:30:42.880
<v Speaker 1>guys familiar with insecure attachment? I'm familiar with it, but

0:30:42.920 --> 0:30:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I saw you talk about it. I want the listeners

0:30:45.000 --> 0:30:46.720
<v Speaker 1>to kind of have a I don't know, like a

0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:49.280
<v Speaker 1>very solid version of it, right, but I want to hear,

0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:50.840
<v Speaker 1>like obviously from an expert's pen. Can I hear what

0:30:50.880 --> 0:30:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Dean thinks about it? And then can we get the

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:54.800
<v Speaker 1>actual definition? Sure, let's do it. As far as I

0:30:54.840 --> 0:31:00.160
<v Speaker 1>understand that the sport attachment styles avoided, anxious, secure, maybe

0:31:00.280 --> 0:31:03.120
<v Speaker 1>just those three. It depends on where you're looking for

0:31:03.160 --> 0:31:06.040
<v Speaker 1>your information, because you can also find disorganized, fearful, you

0:31:06.080 --> 0:31:09.280
<v Speaker 1>can find anxious avoidant. So it just really depends, like

0:31:09.400 --> 0:31:12.360
<v Speaker 1>I was anxious avoidant, Okay, So there's there could be

0:31:12.400 --> 0:31:15.600
<v Speaker 1>hybrids or mixtures of them all. And it's funny because

0:31:15.600 --> 0:31:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I kind of have looked back at my relationships in

0:31:17.200 --> 0:31:19.520
<v Speaker 1>the past and I've always kind of uh diagnosedic self

0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 1>diagnosed them and kind of put a label on how

0:31:21.440 --> 0:31:24.160
<v Speaker 1>I was in that relationship. Um. But like I said,

0:31:24.160 --> 0:31:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I know obviously a very surface level version of all

0:31:26.320 --> 0:31:27.960
<v Speaker 1>of it. So can you just kind of describe it

0:31:27.960 --> 0:31:30.160
<v Speaker 1>the listeners a little and obviously to us as well. Sure.

0:31:30.280 --> 0:31:33.080
<v Speaker 1>So when it comes to insecure attachment. Um. This was

0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:36.560
<v Speaker 1>something by a psychologist in the sixties named John Baldy

0:31:36.680 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 1>who came up with the theory of it, and basically

0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:44.200
<v Speaker 1>was talking about attachment style that infants have with their

0:31:44.320 --> 0:31:47.840
<v Speaker 1>initial caregivers, usually mom or dad or whoever that happens

0:31:47.880 --> 0:31:51.160
<v Speaker 1>to be. And in some cases where you would have

0:31:51.200 --> 0:31:53.920
<v Speaker 1>a parent who, let's say, wasn't emotionally available, you know,

0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:55.720
<v Speaker 1>like they could be putting a roof over your head,

0:31:55.760 --> 0:31:57.640
<v Speaker 1>taking care of you all of that, but they may

0:31:57.680 --> 0:32:00.080
<v Speaker 1>not have been emotionally available. They may have been and

0:32:00.320 --> 0:32:03.680
<v Speaker 1>very um closed off, and so you would develop an

0:32:03.680 --> 0:32:07.280
<v Speaker 1>insecure attachment style, you know, where you might avoid mom

0:32:07.320 --> 0:32:10.080
<v Speaker 1>if she came in the room, or you wouldn't miss her,

0:32:10.320 --> 0:32:13.040
<v Speaker 1>or you'd hide it because there's ambivalent to I forgot

0:32:13.040 --> 0:32:15.520
<v Speaker 1>about that style, but anyways, so you would have all

0:32:15.520 --> 0:32:17.560
<v Speaker 1>of these different reactions. And the thing is that you

0:32:17.640 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 1>carry this stuff forward you. It becomes part of your

0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:23.480
<v Speaker 1>belief system. So if you believe let's say that, um,

0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:25.800
<v Speaker 1>you have to be perfect to earn love as a kid,

0:32:26.160 --> 0:32:28.720
<v Speaker 1>like you get straight a's or you're an overachiever of

0:32:28.760 --> 0:32:31.920
<v Speaker 1>some sort, right, so this is how you associate love

0:32:32.280 --> 0:32:35.600
<v Speaker 1>as this hard thing to get, and so you come

0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:38.520
<v Speaker 1>forward into your relationships as an adult. And there's a

0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 1>lot of people that work super hard. And I'm not

0:32:40.600 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 1>talking about hard at the positive things in the relationship,

0:32:44.840 --> 0:32:47.960
<v Speaker 1>like really coming closer together, working through problems. I'm talking

0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:52.040
<v Speaker 1>about creating problems, creating issues, and making it hard for them,

0:32:52.040 --> 0:32:54.360
<v Speaker 1>so they're always in a state of struggle. So that

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:58.360
<v Speaker 1>was like my little abridged version of childhood to adulthood

0:32:58.400 --> 0:33:00.960
<v Speaker 1>how it affects you. But all these different you know,

0:33:01.040 --> 0:33:05.680
<v Speaker 1>like avoidant, that's somebody who usually avoids emotional intimacy. Just

0:33:06.120 --> 0:33:08.640
<v Speaker 1>that's what they do. They're the people that you can't

0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:13.600
<v Speaker 1>cuss on here, right, sure, go ahead, we'll bleep it out. Okay, Well,

0:33:13.600 --> 0:33:16.600
<v Speaker 1>now I I mean I I refer to them as

0:33:16.600 --> 0:33:20.240
<v Speaker 1>the accidental coals in life because basically they're the people

0:33:20.280 --> 0:33:22.400
<v Speaker 1>they get nailed for. Oh my gosh, you know, we

0:33:22.440 --> 0:33:24.240
<v Speaker 1>went out kind of like the whole bread crumbing thing.

0:33:24.480 --> 0:33:27.240
<v Speaker 1>We went out, and then they disappeared, and then they

0:33:27.280 --> 0:33:30.040
<v Speaker 1>showed back up, and then they you know, that whole thing. Right,

0:33:30.480 --> 0:33:32.840
<v Speaker 1>So people that are avoidant can end up in that

0:33:32.920 --> 0:33:35.320
<v Speaker 1>situation where they go out with somebody and they're like,

0:33:35.400 --> 0:33:38.120
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, this is so great, so awesome, and

0:33:38.160 --> 0:33:41.600
<v Speaker 1>then they start feeling, you know, feelings that are scary right,

0:33:41.760 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 1>like I've been down this road before. I don't know

0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:46.200
<v Speaker 1>what's going to happen. I can't get too close to

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:48.600
<v Speaker 1>this person and they start to back off, and they may,

0:33:48.720 --> 0:33:50.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, they fade out, and then they disappear, and

0:33:50.800 --> 0:33:53.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe the other person thinks they've been ghosted, and then

0:33:53.600 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 1>what ends up happening is they show back up because

0:33:56.600 --> 0:33:58.800
<v Speaker 1>now they're not so afraid anymore. Maybe they've been thinking

0:33:58.840 --> 0:34:01.240
<v Speaker 1>about that person going you know, Oh, they were pretty cool.

0:34:01.720 --> 0:34:03.800
<v Speaker 1>I think I wanna, you know, give it another try,

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:06.440
<v Speaker 1>see for me, And I think I don't want to

0:34:06.440 --> 0:34:09.640
<v Speaker 1>speak for Dean, but I think Dean might relate. I'm

0:34:09.760 --> 0:34:12.759
<v Speaker 1>that way. I'm avoiding, but I'm not avoidant because of

0:34:12.840 --> 0:34:15.719
<v Speaker 1>my childhood. I feel like I'm avoiding because there are

0:34:15.719 --> 0:34:18.960
<v Speaker 1>a lot of times within a relationship. Um, I feel

0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:20.840
<v Speaker 1>like I'm not good enough. And I'm not trying to

0:34:20.880 --> 0:34:23.520
<v Speaker 1>make this a pity party. But in terms of I think,

0:34:23.560 --> 0:34:27.480
<v Speaker 1>especially coming off the show, you get a certain uh,

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:30.839
<v Speaker 1>people get an idea of who you are, and specifically

0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:32.520
<v Speaker 1>with my wife, I think she had an idea of

0:34:32.520 --> 0:34:34.759
<v Speaker 1>who I was and had this built up idea of

0:34:34.800 --> 0:34:36.759
<v Speaker 1>who I actually was where you just can't live up

0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:38.880
<v Speaker 1>to this expectation. So I think for me, I was

0:34:38.880 --> 0:34:41.080
<v Speaker 1>always afraid to jump into a relationship because I always

0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:42.239
<v Speaker 1>felt like I couldn't live up to a lot of

0:34:42.280 --> 0:34:46.440
<v Speaker 1>people's expectations. Uh, Dean, do you feel like you're similar

0:34:46.440 --> 0:34:48.120
<v Speaker 1>in that way? Why? I would always, Like I said earlier,

0:34:48.160 --> 0:34:50.919
<v Speaker 1>I classified myself in past relationships on my attachment style,

0:34:50.920 --> 0:34:53.080
<v Speaker 1>and I always classified myself as avoidant. And it's just

0:34:53.160 --> 0:34:54.279
<v Speaker 1>very clear and the way that I act in the

0:34:54.320 --> 0:34:55.560
<v Speaker 1>way that always been. But why do you think you're

0:34:55.560 --> 0:34:58.960
<v Speaker 1>avoiding I don't know. Childhood trauma. Yeah, I mean there's

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:00.560
<v Speaker 1>probably a million different reasons we are the way that

0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:01.960
<v Speaker 1>we are. But like you said, I think a lot

0:35:01.960 --> 0:35:03.640
<v Speaker 1>of it was. But you had a great upbringing, like

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:08.160
<v Speaker 1>with your incredible parents, fantastic, very lucky. I would imagine

0:35:08.160 --> 0:35:10.680
<v Speaker 1>you can. You can have the same results through very

0:35:10.719 --> 0:35:13.239
<v Speaker 1>different ways of getting there, right, you can, And I

0:35:13.280 --> 0:35:15.160
<v Speaker 1>will say that you don't have to actually have had

0:35:15.200 --> 0:35:17.520
<v Speaker 1>a lot of trauma as a kid. Like I have

0:35:17.680 --> 0:35:21.239
<v Speaker 1>clients where their parents were overprotective and they never learned

0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:23.760
<v Speaker 1>to trust themselves. They didn't, you know, like they would

0:35:23.800 --> 0:35:26.000
<v Speaker 1>want to go do something and then mom or dad

0:35:26.000 --> 0:35:27.960
<v Speaker 1>would be like Oh no, don't do that because it

0:35:28.040 --> 0:35:30.920
<v Speaker 1>made the parent nervous. Right, because overprotective people that's what

0:35:30.960 --> 0:35:33.000
<v Speaker 1>they do, So that takes the power of choice away

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:34.960
<v Speaker 1>from the kid, and the kid neever learns trust themselves,

0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:37.879
<v Speaker 1>which also goes back to their value. Like, how am

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I getting value if I'm never achieving anything unless my

0:35:41.120 --> 0:35:43.160
<v Speaker 1>mom or dad are telling me, yeah, that's the right

0:35:43.160 --> 0:35:45.319
<v Speaker 1>thing to do. Do that, don't do this, right? So

0:35:45.360 --> 0:35:47.880
<v Speaker 1>what do you suggest? I guess that's my question as

0:35:47.920 --> 0:35:50.000
<v Speaker 1>far as which part. Well, you say a lot of

0:35:50.040 --> 0:35:55.240
<v Speaker 1>our morals or our insecurities come from a very young age.

0:35:56.040 --> 0:36:00.839
<v Speaker 1>So do you suggest to parents out there raising their

0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:03.000
<v Speaker 1>kids in a different way. I don't know, because that's

0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:06.000
<v Speaker 1>a curious question because you say that, uh, like being

0:36:06.040 --> 0:36:09.600
<v Speaker 1>an overprotective parent can lead to certain certain insecurities, or

0:36:09.680 --> 0:36:15.520
<v Speaker 1>just like being a parent that really invests um in

0:36:16.719 --> 0:36:20.000
<v Speaker 1>their kids schooling. I don't know. It's hard to really

0:36:20.800 --> 0:36:23.719
<v Speaker 1>uh specifically pinpoint, but like you said, like a lot

0:36:23.719 --> 0:36:25.680
<v Speaker 1>of parents put a lot of value on school work, right,

0:36:25.719 --> 0:36:27.440
<v Speaker 1>So if a kid comes home, I remember I came

0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:29.080
<v Speaker 1>home and I would get sees a lot of times.

0:36:29.120 --> 0:36:31.719
<v Speaker 1>Possibly DS wasn't the greatest student and I remember my

0:36:31.760 --> 0:36:34.400
<v Speaker 1>parents being super disappointed. I'm gonna but that's just like

0:36:34.520 --> 0:36:37.800
<v Speaker 1>every parent, so like we shouldn't change that. Right, You're

0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:40.240
<v Speaker 1>not going to be a perfect human being as a parent,

0:36:40.440 --> 0:36:43.360
<v Speaker 1>and nor are you as the product of your childhood

0:36:43.360 --> 0:36:46.440
<v Speaker 1>going to be perfect either. So there are definitely certain

0:36:46.480 --> 0:36:48.640
<v Speaker 1>expectations that parents have. They don't want you to go

0:36:48.719 --> 0:36:49.839
<v Speaker 1>run out in the middle of the street and get

0:36:49.880 --> 0:36:52.319
<v Speaker 1>hit by a bus either, so you know they might

0:36:52.360 --> 0:36:54.359
<v Speaker 1>grab your arm or go, oh my god, yell at

0:36:54.360 --> 0:36:59.280
<v Speaker 1>you right something. So to me, it's knowing your belief

0:36:59.320 --> 0:37:01.680
<v Speaker 1>system because this all impacts your belief system, Like you're

0:37:01.680 --> 0:37:04.080
<v Speaker 1>talking about your own value. So those kind of things

0:37:04.080 --> 0:37:05.960
<v Speaker 1>you've got to know, all right, I believe these things

0:37:05.960 --> 0:37:08.440
<v Speaker 1>about me. That takes self awareness. You've got to be

0:37:08.480 --> 0:37:10.760
<v Speaker 1>aware of what you say, what you do, how you feel,

0:37:11.040 --> 0:37:13.520
<v Speaker 1>because the more aware that you are, you can do

0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:16.480
<v Speaker 1>something about changing it. Because I'm a believer, and in

0:37:16.520 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 1>my own life, I've changed a lot of these beliefs.

0:37:19.080 --> 0:37:22.640
<v Speaker 1>I was an avoidant, you know, for many years, so

0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:26.239
<v Speaker 1>I am not that way anymore. I'm happily married and

0:37:26.280 --> 0:37:28.680
<v Speaker 1>I look at how I am, like even if I

0:37:28.719 --> 0:37:30.759
<v Speaker 1>had the tendency to want to go, you know, I

0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:34.680
<v Speaker 1>need to kind of get some space here. So two things. One,

0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:38.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm lucky because my husband is we're both like totally independent,

0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:42.000
<v Speaker 1>but you know, interdependent, you call it, right. But I

0:37:42.000 --> 0:37:44.480
<v Speaker 1>don't feel like I'm trying to avoid him. I don't

0:37:44.480 --> 0:37:46.759
<v Speaker 1>try to avoid things that if I catch myself like

0:37:46.840 --> 0:37:49.399
<v Speaker 1>with old behavior, I'll go, Okay, what are you doing?

0:37:49.560 --> 0:37:51.640
<v Speaker 1>What are you doing? Nope, get closer. I mean that's

0:37:51.680 --> 0:37:54.680
<v Speaker 1>always the answer. Get closer because if you get closer,

0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:57.800
<v Speaker 1>not clinging, but you get closer, you're establishing intimacy and

0:37:57.840 --> 0:38:00.719
<v Speaker 1>you're also breaking patterns of behavior that you up. It

0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:04.880
<v Speaker 1>takes emotional action to break patterns, and that's I was

0:38:04.880 --> 0:38:06.160
<v Speaker 1>gonna ask I was gonna ask you a question in

0:38:06.160 --> 0:38:09.160
<v Speaker 1>the same way, how do we uh tip back the

0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:12.600
<v Speaker 1>scales of time and and focus on the bad parts

0:38:12.600 --> 0:38:15.799
<v Speaker 1>of our attachment styles and improve them? Because I would say,

0:38:15.800 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 1>what we all strive to be secure, to have a

0:38:17.760 --> 0:38:19.719
<v Speaker 1>secure attachment style, right, that's what we would all want.

0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:21.920
<v Speaker 1>So for someone that's been avoided in his whole life,

0:38:22.160 --> 0:38:24.600
<v Speaker 1>either your Jared or someone that's has anxious or ambivalence

0:38:24.640 --> 0:38:27.520
<v Speaker 1>attachment styles, you're saying, basically self awareness is the most

0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:30.040
<v Speaker 1>important thing self awareness, because you have to start somewhere.

0:38:30.080 --> 0:38:32.160
<v Speaker 1>You've got to know what you're doing. Most people, and

0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:35.400
<v Speaker 1>you may notice this in yourselves. You might be other oriented.

0:38:35.520 --> 0:38:37.640
<v Speaker 1>You might be paying attention to what everybody else is

0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:40.920
<v Speaker 1>doing and deciding how you're going to react to them. Right, Like,

0:38:40.960 --> 0:38:44.080
<v Speaker 1>if I look at, uh, you know, any relationship and

0:38:44.120 --> 0:38:46.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm concerned with how they see me or what they're doing,

0:38:46.920 --> 0:38:49.160
<v Speaker 1>or I want them to act a certain way towards me,

0:38:49.640 --> 0:38:52.400
<v Speaker 1>then I would act in other ways to promote that.

0:38:52.440 --> 0:38:55.040
<v Speaker 1>But when you catch yourself doing it, you're not being authentic,

0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:57.200
<v Speaker 1>You're not really being who you are. You're just trying

0:38:57.239 --> 0:38:59.919
<v Speaker 1>to manipulate a situation. So when you notice you're doing

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:03.400
<v Speaker 1>things like that, stop, just check yourself and stop and

0:39:03.440 --> 0:39:06.000
<v Speaker 1>go what am I doing? I need to stop doing that? Why?

0:39:06.120 --> 0:39:08.439
<v Speaker 1>Because I want to be securely attached because it feels better,

0:39:09.040 --> 0:39:10.960
<v Speaker 1>and so it's like unabashed openness. It's kind of what

0:39:10.960 --> 0:39:13.680
<v Speaker 1>you're saying. I am saying that. I'm saying also to

0:39:13.719 --> 0:39:17.000
<v Speaker 1>speak your truth. Right, So you have a thirty day

0:39:17.040 --> 0:39:21.759
<v Speaker 1>boot camp. I have, um, well, I have a thirty

0:39:21.840 --> 0:39:24.480
<v Speaker 1>day emotional cleanse, which is a digital program that you

0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:27.000
<v Speaker 1>can take and you know, it's really great. I think

0:39:27.040 --> 0:39:28.960
<v Speaker 1>that people have changed their lives. In fact, that's what

0:39:29.000 --> 0:39:31.680
<v Speaker 1>I've heard. Um. But I also have a workshop coming

0:39:31.800 --> 0:39:34.560
<v Speaker 1>up um December six, and that is going to be

0:39:34.680 --> 0:39:38.280
<v Speaker 1>on bread crumbing and stopping the bread crumbing because people

0:39:38.360 --> 0:39:41.080
<v Speaker 1>keep taking bread crumbs their whole lives without even knowing it.

0:39:41.320 --> 0:39:43.560
<v Speaker 1>They just complain about it. So let's talk about some

0:39:43.560 --> 0:39:45.160
<v Speaker 1>of those terms. Well, yeah, I have some of the

0:39:45.280 --> 0:39:47.400
<v Speaker 1>terms actually brought up on my computer right now. And

0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:50.640
<v Speaker 1>bread crumbing for all of you out there are help

0:39:50.680 --> 0:39:52.680
<v Speaker 1>by secuit dators who don't know what breadcumbing is. It

0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:55.480
<v Speaker 1>is when somebody seems to be pursuing you, but really

0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:58.480
<v Speaker 1>they have no intention of being tied down to a relationship.

0:39:58.520 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 1>It might be difficult to tell in their earliest ages,

0:40:00.400 --> 0:40:03.080
<v Speaker 1>especially if you met online, because they receive a series

0:40:03.120 --> 0:40:06.279
<v Speaker 1>of text that suggests they are interested. However, it soon

0:40:06.360 --> 0:40:09.120
<v Speaker 1>becomes clear that this person has no intention of following

0:40:09.160 --> 0:40:12.200
<v Speaker 1>through with anything they've said. They just like leaving you

0:40:12.280 --> 0:40:15.719
<v Speaker 1>bread crumbs like a trail and Hansel and Gretel to

0:40:15.800 --> 0:40:19.200
<v Speaker 1>stir you along. That is from business insider dot Com

0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:21.719
<v Speaker 1>shout out to Business insider, string you along, rust you along?

0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:24.640
<v Speaker 1>What did I say? Is it stir you along? I said,

0:40:24.680 --> 0:40:29.320
<v Speaker 1>stir you along? Wow, I'm an idiot anyway. Uh So, Tracy,

0:40:29.640 --> 0:40:32.279
<v Speaker 1>you say that you do a worship on a workshop

0:40:32.360 --> 0:40:35.520
<v Speaker 1>on bread crumbing and how to stop people from bread crumbing.

0:40:35.560 --> 0:40:38.880
<v Speaker 1>You m hm basically tell us, well, you you can't

0:40:38.920 --> 0:40:42.320
<v Speaker 1>stop Okay, you can't stop people from doing whatever the

0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:44.440
<v Speaker 1>hell they're gonna do. They're just gonna do what they do.

0:40:44.840 --> 0:40:47.799
<v Speaker 1>You can stop participating in this though, Okay. I mean

0:40:47.800 --> 0:40:49.759
<v Speaker 1>that's going back to the whole power of choicing that

0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:51.760
<v Speaker 1>we were talking about before. You you have a choice.

0:40:51.880 --> 0:40:54.360
<v Speaker 1>So one of the things is when it comes to

0:40:54.400 --> 0:40:57.200
<v Speaker 1>bread crumbing is to have some kind of, as I said,

0:40:57.239 --> 0:41:00.800
<v Speaker 1>an awareness that you're unhappy, that you're in a situation

0:41:00.800 --> 0:41:03.960
<v Speaker 1>that you probably have anxiety about. Because with bread crumbing,

0:41:04.280 --> 0:41:06.440
<v Speaker 1>you think somebody's gone and then they show back up,

0:41:06.560 --> 0:41:08.839
<v Speaker 1>and then you notice that it becomes a pattern, right

0:41:09.440 --> 0:41:11.520
<v Speaker 1>back and forth, back and forth, call it yo, yo,

0:41:11.600 --> 0:41:14.840
<v Speaker 1>call it whatever you want, and you start to become

0:41:15.040 --> 0:41:17.080
<v Speaker 1>anxious most of the time because you know this person

0:41:17.160 --> 0:41:19.239
<v Speaker 1>is going to show back up, you know it, and

0:41:19.280 --> 0:41:22.200
<v Speaker 1>you can't seem to let go of it like you're stuck.

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:24.080
<v Speaker 1>You're one of those people that your friends are like,

0:41:24.440 --> 0:41:26.440
<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Why can't you get out of

0:41:26.480 --> 0:41:29.879
<v Speaker 1>the situation? What's wrong with you? And so that's how

0:41:29.960 --> 0:41:32.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean. I help people by helping them change their beliefs,

0:41:32.920 --> 0:41:37.040
<v Speaker 1>their patterns, how they basically think and feel, so that

0:41:37.160 --> 0:41:39.120
<v Speaker 1>they end up feeling a lot lighter and they can

0:41:39.200 --> 0:41:42.360
<v Speaker 1>make better decisions. Can you give us one example of

0:41:42.360 --> 0:41:44.320
<v Speaker 1>how someone might get themselves out of bread crumbing. I

0:41:44.320 --> 0:41:46.800
<v Speaker 1>know it's not just one thing that will change everything,

0:41:46.800 --> 0:41:48.919
<v Speaker 1>but can you give us a small sample. Sure, when

0:41:49.000 --> 0:41:51.279
<v Speaker 1>you go out on a date, first of all, make

0:41:51.280 --> 0:41:53.760
<v Speaker 1>sure that you're in reality. A lot of times, especially

0:41:53.800 --> 0:41:56.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to say women, but women will go

0:41:56.560 --> 0:42:00.120
<v Speaker 1>out on a date with somebody. Um men do it too,

0:42:00.239 --> 0:42:02.720
<v Speaker 1>because I work with people. I work with men and women,

0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:05.520
<v Speaker 1>and so they'll go on a date and they'll think,

0:42:05.560 --> 0:42:07.640
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I'm like so into this person. They

0:42:07.640 --> 0:42:09.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know this person, and they develop a fantasy about

0:42:09.960 --> 0:42:12.319
<v Speaker 1>the person. You know, they see themselves writing off into

0:42:12.320 --> 0:42:15.000
<v Speaker 1>the sunset with them, so they're not in reality. And

0:42:15.040 --> 0:42:17.279
<v Speaker 1>that's usually when you can tell, because you're already living

0:42:17.280 --> 0:42:20.200
<v Speaker 1>in the future. Somewhere. So my you know, my advice

0:42:20.280 --> 0:42:22.120
<v Speaker 1>is always to bring it back to the present moment,

0:42:22.400 --> 0:42:25.480
<v Speaker 1>especially if you're in one of these cycles, to like

0:42:25.560 --> 0:42:27.560
<v Speaker 1>even past the first date and let's say you get

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:29.840
<v Speaker 1>caught up in that, You've got to become aware of

0:42:29.840 --> 0:42:32.560
<v Speaker 1>holy crap, you know, I'm putting up with this. What

0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:34.919
<v Speaker 1>am I thinking? Well, I'm thinking about them getting their

0:42:35.040 --> 0:42:37.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, their act together and coming back like what

0:42:37.120 --> 0:42:40.759
<v Speaker 1>you did with your wife, like she probably on some

0:42:40.880 --> 0:42:43.440
<v Speaker 1>level was hoping you were going to finally wake up

0:42:43.480 --> 0:42:47.319
<v Speaker 1>one day and go, yeah, I want to be with you. Yeah.

0:42:47.560 --> 0:42:49.880
<v Speaker 1>So so it really it works like that, but a

0:42:49.920 --> 0:42:53.280
<v Speaker 1>lot of times it doesn't have a happy ending. Usually

0:42:53.480 --> 0:42:56.560
<v Speaker 1>it has, you know, just this ongoing bread crumbing and

0:42:56.560 --> 0:42:58.640
<v Speaker 1>it never goes anywhere. Well. I think for me specifically,

0:42:58.719 --> 0:43:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I had to just let go of my ego um

0:43:01.680 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 1>for a little while. I think what what you were

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:06.640
<v Speaker 1>talking about We've talked about in this podcast before, to

0:43:06.760 --> 0:43:08.640
<v Speaker 1>where it's like the less you know about someone, especially

0:43:08.719 --> 0:43:11.600
<v Speaker 1>early on in dating whatever it might be, is you

0:43:11.680 --> 0:43:13.839
<v Speaker 1>have such a small amount of information on them, so

0:43:13.840 --> 0:43:15.319
<v Speaker 1>so you know like five percent who they are, then

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:18.040
<v Speaker 1>you tend to fill in with what you hope for

0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 1>them to be. Yeah, exactly. And then so that's obviously

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:22.640
<v Speaker 1>you're able to glorify them put up on this pedestal

0:43:22.680 --> 0:43:23.840
<v Speaker 1>because you have no idea who they are. You just

0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:26.600
<v Speaker 1>you're assuming these things. And then well what I always

0:43:26.640 --> 0:43:28.319
<v Speaker 1>noticed too is obviously the longer you get to know them,

0:43:28.360 --> 0:43:29.880
<v Speaker 1>the more they start to fill it up themselves, and

0:43:29.920 --> 0:43:32.480
<v Speaker 1>then less things tend to fall in how you expect

0:43:32.560 --> 0:43:35.239
<v Speaker 1>them to fall into place, right, And that could be

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:38.800
<v Speaker 1>really disappointing, you know, for people if they are not

0:43:38.920 --> 0:43:41.440
<v Speaker 1>allowing a natural process and dating. Because one of the

0:43:41.480 --> 0:43:45.279
<v Speaker 1>things too, people don't speak their truth. They come to

0:43:45.320 --> 0:43:48.240
<v Speaker 1>a date, they want to impress that person, they hide

0:43:48.280 --> 0:43:50.920
<v Speaker 1>things that are important to them, and then they end

0:43:51.000 --> 0:43:54.080
<v Speaker 1>up you know, being either walking on egg shells for

0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:56.960
<v Speaker 1>the whole relationship, never admitting to some things that are

0:43:57.040 --> 0:43:59.640
<v Speaker 1>very true for them, or you know, they end up

0:43:59.640 --> 0:44:01.960
<v Speaker 1>fighting at about it and then it turns into a

0:44:01.960 --> 0:44:05.840
<v Speaker 1>point of contention or many points of contention. Yeah, I

0:44:05.880 --> 0:44:07.480
<v Speaker 1>will say this, So I'm in a relationship. Now, I

0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:09.879
<v Speaker 1>have a girlfriend. We've been dating for five months. Hold

0:44:09.880 --> 0:44:13.640
<v Speaker 1>your applause please everyone, Um, yeah, thank you, mark uh.

0:44:13.719 --> 0:44:15.200
<v Speaker 1>And I will say that this is the first. I've

0:44:15.239 --> 0:44:17.080
<v Speaker 1>always been like super honest, but this time I've been

0:44:17.120 --> 0:44:18.879
<v Speaker 1>like overly honest, to the point where I'm like arring

0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:20.799
<v Speaker 1>all my dirty laundry out as early as I possibly could,

0:44:20.800 --> 0:44:22.400
<v Speaker 1>because I'm like, this is who I am, this is

0:44:22.440 --> 0:44:25.400
<v Speaker 1>who I'm gonna be. Obviously I can like grow moving forward,

0:44:25.400 --> 0:44:26.960
<v Speaker 1>but like this is all the bad stuff you'll ever

0:44:27.000 --> 0:44:29.319
<v Speaker 1>have to know about me. Um. And as soon as

0:44:29.320 --> 0:44:32.160
<v Speaker 1>I started like talking so openly and freely about those things,

0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:35.239
<v Speaker 1>I noticed there's a lot more, uh strengthen the relationship

0:44:35.280 --> 0:44:37.719
<v Speaker 1>that I have now with my girlfriend versus before I

0:44:37.760 --> 0:44:40.000
<v Speaker 1>was like ashamed of certain things, and so maybe I

0:44:40.000 --> 0:44:42.840
<v Speaker 1>wasn't telling like the full truth on some of that. Um.

0:44:42.920 --> 0:44:44.279
<v Speaker 1>And like you said, I was always kind of walking

0:44:44.280 --> 0:44:46.320
<v Speaker 1>like on edge a little bit, thinking that I wouldn't,

0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:48.120
<v Speaker 1>to Jared's point, live up to the expectations of the

0:44:48.120 --> 0:44:50.040
<v Speaker 1>person that I'm dating, because like I'm kind of selling

0:44:50.080 --> 0:44:52.800
<v Speaker 1>myself to be a little bit more than I really am. Um.

0:44:52.960 --> 0:44:54.279
<v Speaker 1>So I agree with what you're saying, and it's nice

0:44:54.280 --> 0:44:56.520
<v Speaker 1>and it's like a liberating feeling. It's it's obviously because

0:44:56.560 --> 0:44:58.160
<v Speaker 1>then you have the person that's liking you for you

0:44:58.280 --> 0:45:01.560
<v Speaker 1>rather than the person that you're at least put on exactly. Yeah,

0:45:01.760 --> 0:45:03.400
<v Speaker 1>so let me ask you boths. Is that something we

0:45:03.400 --> 0:45:06.560
<v Speaker 1>should all do moving forward? I think so, to let

0:45:06.560 --> 0:45:09.920
<v Speaker 1>go of any expectations and just fully be yourself from

0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:12.840
<v Speaker 1>the moment you meet someone. Yeah. Well, I think I

0:45:12.880 --> 0:45:14.640
<v Speaker 1>told you this before too. When I was on the

0:45:14.640 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 1>show the first this pastime, I was like, yeah, I've

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:20.799
<v Speaker 1>got no friends, I'm super broke, I'm homeless. I got

0:45:20.800 --> 0:45:22.960
<v Speaker 1>this ridiculous. I like what. I undersold myself to the

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:25.920
<v Speaker 1>point where Jared called it manipulation. I see where he's

0:45:26.200 --> 0:45:28.880
<v Speaker 1>I never said manipulation. You're like, well, it's it's a

0:45:28.960 --> 0:45:30.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of manipulation. I was like, yeah, it kind of is,

0:45:30.680 --> 0:45:32.520
<v Speaker 1>but like it's like on the other side of it,

0:45:32.520 --> 0:45:34.520
<v Speaker 1>it's like I was like being like, I'm a real

0:45:34.880 --> 0:45:37.160
<v Speaker 1>head right like that, I have no friends, I have

0:45:37.239 --> 0:45:40.160
<v Speaker 1>no prospects. I definitely never said manipulation. I would never

0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:41.600
<v Speaker 1>call you a manipulation. No, I know, but you it

0:45:41.640 --> 0:45:43.360
<v Speaker 1>was like you were just kind of spoken, like driving

0:45:43.360 --> 0:45:47.360
<v Speaker 1>a debate. You were not sometimes I like driving debate. Yeah. Um, anyways,

0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:49.480
<v Speaker 1>my point is I undersold like the crap out of myself,

0:45:49.520 --> 0:45:51.400
<v Speaker 1>and it obviously works in my favorite So I agreed

0:45:51.400 --> 0:45:54.480
<v Speaker 1>to your point. To your point, uh, the more, I

0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:56.319
<v Speaker 1>guess you just are willing to share about yourself and

0:45:56.320 --> 0:45:58.120
<v Speaker 1>then you kind of create that secure attachment. And I

0:45:58.360 --> 0:46:00.200
<v Speaker 1>don't think that in this relationship that I'm in now

0:46:00.239 --> 0:46:02.560
<v Speaker 1>that I haven't avoid an attachment style. I think both

0:46:02.560 --> 0:46:05.200
<v Speaker 1>of us are secure. Um. And it's the first time

0:46:05.200 --> 0:46:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I've ever been in a relationship where it's been so

0:46:07.120 --> 0:46:11.000
<v Speaker 1>secure attachment style wise. And I think to your point,

0:46:11.000 --> 0:46:13.600
<v Speaker 1>it's to think the openness in the honesty from the

0:46:13.600 --> 0:46:15.560
<v Speaker 1>get go. I think that's a big part of it.

0:46:15.640 --> 0:46:17.840
<v Speaker 1>And you've got to actually care about yourself enough to

0:46:17.840 --> 0:46:19.839
<v Speaker 1>do that. You know, that's the thing when you don't

0:46:19.840 --> 0:46:22.879
<v Speaker 1>care about yourself enough, and that's again a belief, and

0:46:22.960 --> 0:46:26.919
<v Speaker 1>you're doing things to avoid having that. I would say

0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:30.400
<v Speaker 1>that love for yourself, then you're looking for it from

0:46:30.440 --> 0:46:32.480
<v Speaker 1>someone else anyways, and so you're needing them to kind

0:46:32.480 --> 0:46:35.400
<v Speaker 1>of fill an empty hole. Um. So you also have

0:46:35.440 --> 0:46:38.239
<v Speaker 1>a podcast called deal with It on Apple Podcasts. Is

0:46:38.280 --> 0:46:40.920
<v Speaker 1>this more of the topic you talk about? It? Is?

0:46:41.080 --> 0:46:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I am? I've been doing it twice a week and

0:46:43.360 --> 0:46:46.799
<v Speaker 1>on Tuesday's specifically. It's called the journey of attachment and

0:46:46.840 --> 0:46:50.759
<v Speaker 1>it is all about attachment. Yeah, listen to that. Oh,

0:46:50.800 --> 0:46:52.239
<v Speaker 1>I listened to an episode on the Way and it's

0:46:52.400 --> 0:46:54.920
<v Speaker 1>You're very positive. I was telling you that earlier. You're

0:46:55.040 --> 0:46:59.239
<v Speaker 1>very positive way thinking you're optimistic. It's very comforting to

0:46:59.280 --> 0:47:01.680
<v Speaker 1>listen to. That's awesome, and I, you know, I feel

0:47:01.719 --> 0:47:04.440
<v Speaker 1>like it is because I've lived it, so I know

0:47:04.480 --> 0:47:06.799
<v Speaker 1>where I'm coming from, and I've helped people in the

0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:09.440
<v Speaker 1>last eleven years and getting out of these situations and

0:47:09.440 --> 0:47:12.920
<v Speaker 1>getting into healthy relationships. I feel like I feel like

0:47:12.920 --> 0:47:14.080
<v Speaker 1>we need to have you on for more than just

0:47:14.160 --> 0:47:16.080
<v Speaker 1>a twenty or thirty minute segment. That's a segment at

0:47:16.080 --> 0:47:17.759
<v Speaker 1>some point because I feel there's there's a lot of

0:47:18.200 --> 0:47:20.320
<v Speaker 1>overlap between what we talked about on a regular basis,

0:47:20.360 --> 0:47:22.160
<v Speaker 1>and it sounds like what you're incredibly well versed in

0:47:22.200 --> 0:47:24.840
<v Speaker 1>as well. Um, but we do have to we have

0:47:24.840 --> 0:47:27.000
<v Speaker 1>to wrap up. Yeah. Yeah, but Tracy, we want to

0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:29.080
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for coming and we really appreciate it. Tracy.

0:47:29.239 --> 0:47:31.040
<v Speaker 1>So Tracy Cross to everybody. You can check out of

0:47:31.040 --> 0:47:33.960
<v Speaker 1>her podcast on Apple Podcasts everywhere. It is called Deal

0:47:34.000 --> 0:47:37.040
<v Speaker 1>with It. You also have your thirty Day Cleans, which

0:47:37.080 --> 0:47:40.279
<v Speaker 1>is online because on your website you go immediately and

0:47:40.320 --> 0:47:42.800
<v Speaker 1>you have to take a quiz, which I took the quiz.

0:47:43.160 --> 0:47:45.680
<v Speaker 1>It's a little intimidating some of the questions, but it

0:47:45.760 --> 0:47:47.640
<v Speaker 1>forces you to be honest. Like Dean said, you have

0:47:47.680 --> 0:47:49.759
<v Speaker 1>to be honest from the get go or you're never

0:47:49.800 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna grow. Uh. And then you also have a boot

0:47:52.000 --> 0:47:54.279
<v Speaker 1>camp coming up? I do I have? Um, well, I

0:47:54.320 --> 0:47:56.640
<v Speaker 1>have the boot camp which actually starts this week, and

0:47:57.120 --> 0:47:59.800
<v Speaker 1>it will kick your butt. It's basically all about trans

0:48:00.000 --> 0:48:02.120
<v Speaker 1>warming these beliefs in a very short period of time

0:48:02.160 --> 0:48:05.399
<v Speaker 1>because usually have to work with people for years and

0:48:05.520 --> 0:48:07.040
<v Speaker 1>when you can cut it down and I cut it

0:48:07.080 --> 0:48:09.560
<v Speaker 1>down to ten weeks and it will change your life.

0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:11.880
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and where can people get that? They can

0:48:11.920 --> 0:48:13.680
<v Speaker 1>go to my website. You can find that there, you

0:48:13.680 --> 0:48:16.359
<v Speaker 1>can find the workshop there, you can find everything. It's

0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:19.839
<v Speaker 1>all there. And then Tracy Crossley dot com. Yes, I'm

0:48:19.840 --> 0:48:22.560
<v Speaker 1>saying your last name right, you are. I was so

0:48:22.600 --> 0:48:24.520
<v Speaker 1>confident in the beginning I didn't even ask you. I

0:48:24.560 --> 0:48:26.600
<v Speaker 1>was like, her last name is Crossley. That's how I'm saying.

0:48:26.560 --> 0:48:29.160
<v Speaker 1>It's very phonetic. Um. Anyways, Stacy, thank you so much

0:48:29.160 --> 0:48:31.319
<v Speaker 1>for joining us. We appreciate it. We'll be on the

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:32.960
<v Speaker 1>lookout for you. Will be sure to tune into your

0:48:33.000 --> 0:48:35.000
<v Speaker 1>podcast again. For the listeners, it's called the Deal with

0:48:35.040 --> 0:48:36.960
<v Speaker 1>It to be sure to check that out. Where have

0:48:37.000 --> 0:48:39.879
<v Speaker 1>you subscribed to podcasts? And Tracy, You've been awesome? Thank

0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:45.880
<v Speaker 1>you so much. Yeah, thank you for having me. Have

0:48:45.960 --> 0:48:48.160
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0:48:48.200 --> 0:48:51.680
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0:48:51.840 --> 0:48:55.120
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0:49:01.440 --> 0:49:04.800
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0:49:04.840 --> 0:49:07.440
<v Speaker 1>spend one third of your life sleeping, so you should

0:49:07.560 --> 0:49:11.600
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0:49:35.040 --> 0:49:37.520
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<v Speaker 1>slash Dating and use Dating at check out. All right,

0:50:34.920 --> 0:50:38.120
<v Speaker 1>we are back with help I suck at Dating. We're

0:50:38.120 --> 0:50:39.920
<v Speaker 1>gonna get into a couple of emails right now. But

0:50:39.960 --> 0:50:42.120
<v Speaker 1>before we get into the emails. I want to encourage

0:50:42.160 --> 0:50:44.759
<v Speaker 1>you to email us your own stories. Email us at

0:50:44.760 --> 0:50:47.560
<v Speaker 1>I Suck It Dating at I heeart media dot com.

0:50:47.719 --> 0:50:49.520
<v Speaker 1>We've got a couple of good ones today. Mark is

0:50:49.520 --> 0:50:51.120
<v Speaker 1>going to read them. I'm not sure which ones he's

0:50:51.160 --> 0:50:52.839
<v Speaker 1>gonna pick. I got three in front of me right now,

0:50:53.120 --> 0:50:57.160
<v Speaker 1>all of equal quality, and let's get into it. Four

0:50:57.200 --> 0:50:58.759
<v Speaker 1>more greeds. I just want to say, if you're not

0:50:58.800 --> 0:51:00.600
<v Speaker 1>following they help us like a dating Instagram, what do

0:51:00.680 --> 0:51:02.600
<v Speaker 1>you do? Well? Come on, guys, I know for a

0:51:02.680 --> 0:51:04.920
<v Speaker 1>fact that more people listen to this podcast than follow

0:51:04.960 --> 0:51:07.200
<v Speaker 1>us on social media. And I gotta be honest, I've

0:51:07.200 --> 0:51:08.839
<v Speaker 1>been putting some good content up there. You've been doing

0:51:08.880 --> 0:51:12.279
<v Speaker 1>really good. I'm I'm I'm I'm happy with myself. So

0:51:13.239 --> 0:51:16.160
<v Speaker 1>a dating podcast group on help my such a dating

0:51:16.160 --> 0:51:18.640
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram. This is controversial what I'm going to say,

0:51:18.719 --> 0:51:21.160
<v Speaker 1>but of all of the people that we do podcasts with,

0:51:21.239 --> 0:51:24.200
<v Speaker 1>I believe Jared is the most dedicated to his podcast.

0:51:25.880 --> 0:51:27.600
<v Speaker 1>I do. I believe that because like like with like

0:51:27.719 --> 0:51:29.719
<v Speaker 1>with Tracy, you listen to her podcast, you read a

0:51:29.719 --> 0:51:31.360
<v Speaker 1>bunch of her stuff, like you really prep for the

0:51:31.400 --> 0:51:33.759
<v Speaker 1>guests were most of our podcast to It's no offense

0:51:33.760 --> 0:51:35.319
<v Speaker 1>because they're very busy people. But they come in there

0:51:35.320 --> 0:51:37.560
<v Speaker 1>and go, who what what do they do? Great? And

0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:39.080
<v Speaker 1>then we tell them and then they go do it.

0:51:39.120 --> 0:51:40.600
<v Speaker 1>But you really put the time in. Well, I will

0:51:40.600 --> 0:51:43.040
<v Speaker 1>never take for granted having an I Heart Radio podcast,

0:51:43.120 --> 0:51:45.480
<v Speaker 1>like the idea if you would have told, you know,

0:51:45.600 --> 0:51:47.960
<v Speaker 1>thirteen year old Jared that he would have a podcast

0:51:48.000 --> 0:51:50.640
<v Speaker 1>on iHeart Radio in the same studio that Ryan Seacres,

0:51:50.960 --> 0:51:53.360
<v Speaker 1>the host of American Idol, records in in the morning.

0:51:54.600 --> 0:51:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you just can't take those things for granted. So,

0:51:56.680 --> 0:51:58.840
<v Speaker 1>like you know, I just want to make sure we

0:51:58.920 --> 0:52:02.120
<v Speaker 1>do a deal. Dugon's work hard, help I suck at dating.

0:52:02.400 --> 0:52:06.359
<v Speaker 1>People Choice Awards. Here we come and mark to your point.

0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:08.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm really thank you for saying things. Glad one of

0:52:08.239 --> 0:52:12.160
<v Speaker 1>the co hosts of this podcast really cares about it.

0:52:10.680 --> 0:52:14.680
<v Speaker 1>You well, you know what it is. Dean's here's the

0:52:14.680 --> 0:52:17.480
<v Speaker 1>thing that I I've noticed, Dean is so naturally talented.

0:52:18.000 --> 0:52:20.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm not joking. I'm not trying to boost you up,

0:52:20.400 --> 0:52:22.600
<v Speaker 1>but you're just so good at being able to articulate

0:52:22.600 --> 0:52:25.839
<v Speaker 1>yourself and and and say your thoughts. You are very

0:52:25.840 --> 0:52:27.560
<v Speaker 1>good at this day and that is true I appreciate

0:52:27.600 --> 0:52:29.520
<v Speaker 1>the compliment after the dick, and so I'll take it.

0:52:29.600 --> 0:52:31.200
<v Speaker 1>But also, you did the show by yourself for a

0:52:31.200 --> 0:52:34.040
<v Speaker 1>long time, and that's hard. Hard, it really is. Yeah,

0:52:34.120 --> 0:52:36.440
<v Speaker 1>it's funny too because that was before I really I

0:52:36.440 --> 0:52:39.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know, it doesn't matter, but let's get into all right. Also,

0:52:39.600 --> 0:52:41.440
<v Speaker 1>I want to put out Jared said del do agence.

0:52:41.440 --> 0:52:45.399
<v Speaker 1>I thought that was very funny. What did I say? Deligence?

0:52:45.560 --> 0:52:47.760
<v Speaker 1>English is hard for me. We have an anonymous email.

0:52:47.960 --> 0:52:50.120
<v Speaker 1>She was at a bar with a guy she's been unbumbled.

0:52:50.200 --> 0:52:52.360
<v Speaker 1>She thought it was pretty boring, but whatever. So the

0:52:52.360 --> 0:52:54.279
<v Speaker 1>bartender bring us their drinks and she looks up and

0:52:54.320 --> 0:52:56.480
<v Speaker 1>she sees her ex boyfriend on a date with one

0:52:56.520 --> 0:53:00.640
<v Speaker 1>of her best friends. I've never been so shook in

0:53:00.640 --> 0:53:04.960
<v Speaker 1>my life, she says her best friend Caesar freezes. I

0:53:05.000 --> 0:53:06.680
<v Speaker 1>look at my day and I say, you know what,

0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.760
<v Speaker 1>this was chill, but I gotta bounce and I left.

0:53:09.880 --> 0:53:13.080
<v Speaker 1>But now I don't know what to do. Like, she

0:53:13.200 --> 0:53:15.920
<v Speaker 1>knew how insane my ex boyfriend was, she knew how

0:53:16.000 --> 0:53:18.759
<v Speaker 1>awful our breakup was, but now she's going out with him.

0:53:18.840 --> 0:53:23.280
<v Speaker 1>What do I do? Seven? Oh? I for some reason

0:53:23.360 --> 0:53:26.239
<v Speaker 1>and more upset with him than I am with her.

0:53:26.280 --> 0:53:28.680
<v Speaker 1>But how does she handle this situation? Right? Why is

0:53:28.680 --> 0:53:30.560
<v Speaker 1>she more upset with him? But that's a good question.

0:53:30.640 --> 0:53:33.880
<v Speaker 1>But that's another That's one of those things like sometimes

0:53:33.880 --> 0:53:37.040
<v Speaker 1>when you're you catch your spouse kind of flirting with

0:53:37.080 --> 0:53:38.799
<v Speaker 1>somebody or more mad at the girl than you are

0:53:38.840 --> 0:53:40.920
<v Speaker 1>with your spouse. Like I'm not sure what the mentality

0:53:41.040 --> 0:53:43.960
<v Speaker 1>is there, but it happens. There's like a weird justification

0:53:44.040 --> 0:53:46.719
<v Speaker 1>your brain does the person closer to you, you find

0:53:46.719 --> 0:53:49.880
<v Speaker 1>more excuses for Yeah, I guess because I'd be way

0:53:50.080 --> 0:53:53.600
<v Speaker 1>more mad at the best friend. What are you doing?

0:53:55.680 --> 0:53:58.080
<v Speaker 1>It is funny too, because it sounds like if obviously

0:53:58.120 --> 0:54:00.200
<v Speaker 1>she was talking to her friend all the time about

0:54:00.239 --> 0:54:02.319
<v Speaker 1>how bad this boyfriend or hers was. Now they're broken up,

0:54:02.320 --> 0:54:04.600
<v Speaker 1>but now she's on a date with him. That's crazy.

0:54:04.640 --> 0:54:06.080
<v Speaker 1>I think that she's kind of mixed. She should be

0:54:06.120 --> 0:54:07.799
<v Speaker 1>more upset with her friend than she should be with

0:54:07.800 --> 0:54:10.319
<v Speaker 1>her x r X doesn't owe her anything. He can

0:54:10.360 --> 0:54:12.680
<v Speaker 1>go on any dates he wants with whoever he wants

0:54:12.760 --> 0:54:14.879
<v Speaker 1>for that friend. Doesn't sound like she's very much your friend.

0:54:14.960 --> 0:54:16.560
<v Speaker 1>If she was, like she was laying and wait, like

0:54:16.600 --> 0:54:19.399
<v Speaker 1>she knew this was teetering, and she waited for her

0:54:19.400 --> 0:54:22.000
<v Speaker 1>opportunity to move in. So let's help answer her question.

0:54:22.000 --> 0:54:26.680
<v Speaker 1>What does she do? She talks to the friend obviously

0:54:27.120 --> 0:54:29.640
<v Speaker 1>and asked her, what the hell are you doing? I

0:54:29.640 --> 0:54:32.319
<v Speaker 1>don't know. That's what I would do. I would say,

0:54:32.360 --> 0:54:34.759
<v Speaker 1>it probably sounds like that friendship is just about to

0:54:34.800 --> 0:54:37.520
<v Speaker 1>be over, but it's her best friend. That's how she's

0:54:37.560 --> 0:54:39.040
<v Speaker 1>saying it in the email. It doesn't sound like the

0:54:39.600 --> 0:54:41.640
<v Speaker 1>best friend. It doesn't sound like the other person feels

0:54:41.640 --> 0:54:44.280
<v Speaker 1>the same way, because if you had a best friend

0:54:44.280 --> 0:54:46.640
<v Speaker 1>that just broke up with a crazy X, you wouldn't

0:54:46.640 --> 0:54:50.560
<v Speaker 1>be going on a date with that person. Yeah, feelings

0:54:50.560 --> 0:54:53.680
<v Speaker 1>for this guy while you were with him, totally, I think, Jared,

0:54:53.719 --> 0:54:55.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you probably are giving the best advice that

0:54:55.560 --> 0:54:57.480
<v Speaker 1>you know. Communication. You should talk to her, but I

0:54:57.480 --> 0:54:59.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know, maybe just move on. I don't know. I

0:54:59.680 --> 0:55:01.680
<v Speaker 1>think it's never talked to your best friend again? Well

0:55:02.000 --> 0:55:04.080
<v Speaker 1>she isn't it. I'm the best friend to talk to her,

0:55:05.320 --> 0:55:07.399
<v Speaker 1>communicating like at some point they're going to talk, right

0:55:07.440 --> 0:55:09.440
<v Speaker 1>Like the best friend does not know that she saw

0:55:09.480 --> 0:55:12.320
<v Speaker 1>her on the date with her X. She does know

0:55:12.880 --> 0:55:16.239
<v Speaker 1>she locked eyes. They locked eyes. She froze and O

0:55:16.440 --> 0:55:19.640
<v Speaker 1>god an anonymous fled. Maybe they'll never talk. I don't

0:55:19.640 --> 0:55:22.000
<v Speaker 1>know they should. They're gonna talk at some point, so

0:55:22.080 --> 0:55:23.800
<v Speaker 1>I think you should just reach out to her. And

0:55:24.080 --> 0:55:25.600
<v Speaker 1>I've kind of talked about this before. One of my

0:55:25.640 --> 0:55:28.680
<v Speaker 1>old uh, one of my ex girlfriends, had hooked up

0:55:28.719 --> 0:55:31.200
<v Speaker 1>with my best friend once and then I started dating her,

0:55:31.440 --> 0:55:33.560
<v Speaker 1>and my best friend got really upset once he found out.

0:55:34.080 --> 0:55:36.239
<v Speaker 1>But but we had gone on like five dates before

0:55:36.239 --> 0:55:38.520
<v Speaker 1>he ever found out, and I guess I never told him,

0:55:38.560 --> 0:55:39.960
<v Speaker 1>but he was my best friend. But it's a little

0:55:39.960 --> 0:55:42.240
<v Speaker 1>different because him and her were never like actually boyfriend

0:55:42.239 --> 0:55:43.799
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend that never really dated. They just like kind of

0:55:43.800 --> 0:55:46.520
<v Speaker 1>hooked up a couple of times or whatever. Right, So

0:55:46.600 --> 0:55:49.920
<v Speaker 1>I've been this girl's friend who is now dating her ex,

0:55:50.320 --> 0:55:53.360
<v Speaker 1>and I'm still best friends with the guy that I

0:55:53.400 --> 0:55:55.719
<v Speaker 1>was best friends with back then. So it's kind of

0:55:55.719 --> 0:55:59.279
<v Speaker 1>a tricky situation. Like maybe she's having fun like being

0:55:59.280 --> 0:56:02.279
<v Speaker 1>sneaky about potential relationship and kind of like you know,

0:56:02.360 --> 0:56:05.480
<v Speaker 1>moving through the shadows, but also it's kind of messed up,

0:56:05.719 --> 0:56:08.440
<v Speaker 1>especially if you were like constantly sharing how crappy this

0:56:08.480 --> 0:56:11.000
<v Speaker 1>guy was with you and how you you're probably like

0:56:11.040 --> 0:56:14.560
<v Speaker 1>devastated and sad and heartbroken. That never happened in my situation,

0:56:14.560 --> 0:56:16.200
<v Speaker 1>so I can't speak on that. But if if any

0:56:16.239 --> 0:56:18.200
<v Speaker 1>of that happened, and now this person is still dating

0:56:18.520 --> 0:56:20.239
<v Speaker 1>the guy that you just broke up with, that's cause

0:56:20.320 --> 0:56:22.440
<v Speaker 1>for concern. Yeah, I agree. I think Mark, you hit

0:56:22.480 --> 0:56:25.520
<v Speaker 1>it on the head. Where this girl like this guy,

0:56:26.120 --> 0:56:29.720
<v Speaker 1>she was dating her friend, they broke up. He asked

0:56:29.719 --> 0:56:33.680
<v Speaker 1>her out because they're like with some flirtations. Yes, yes,

0:56:33.719 --> 0:56:35.799
<v Speaker 1>she might have moved in and asked him out. I

0:56:35.840 --> 0:56:40.640
<v Speaker 1>mean that's I think that changes the entire conversation. Oh yeah,

0:56:40.680 --> 0:56:42.120
<v Speaker 1>we don't know that, because maybe it's the other thing.

0:56:42.120 --> 0:56:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Maybe the boy friend whilst they were together and your

0:56:45.680 --> 0:56:48.279
<v Speaker 1>best friends hot, oh boy, if I ever have an opportunity,

0:56:48.360 --> 0:56:50.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm moving in on that. Maybe you're right. Maybe the

0:56:50.120 --> 0:56:52.040
<v Speaker 1>onus on this one is on the boy. Sounds like

0:56:52.040 --> 0:56:54.400
<v Speaker 1>you're out a boyfriend and you're out a friend. Yeah,

0:56:54.440 --> 0:56:57.359
<v Speaker 1>I think so. As long as she said it's one

0:56:57.400 --> 0:56:59.319
<v Speaker 1>of her best friends. You have other best friends. Yeah,

0:56:59.320 --> 0:57:01.600
<v Speaker 1>you got plenty, You got options, kind of options. Girl,

0:57:01.680 --> 0:57:03.440
<v Speaker 1>we gotta wrap it up. I'm sorry. Guys, Ben and

0:57:03.480 --> 0:57:05.040
<v Speaker 1>Ashley were here, and you know they get more listens

0:57:05.040 --> 0:57:11.120
<v Speaker 1>than such. It's truest statement. Twenty people Choice Awards and

0:57:11.160 --> 0:57:13.360
<v Speaker 1>we won't get kicked out of the studio. People. The

0:57:13.480 --> 0:57:17.720
<v Speaker 1>sub army is gonna tear this place. Marks are one

0:57:17.760 --> 0:57:22.160
<v Speaker 1>email today. Because of that, I have one more proposition

0:57:22.160 --> 0:57:23.560
<v Speaker 1>for the listener out there. If you listen to this

0:57:23.600 --> 0:57:27.600
<v Speaker 1>podcast as well as Almost Famous every week, stop listening

0:57:27.640 --> 0:57:32.080
<v Speaker 1>Almost don't do that. That's my wife's podcast. Don't say that.

0:57:32.080 --> 0:57:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Team anyways, Thank you so much for listening to this

0:57:34.600 --> 0:57:36.960
<v Speaker 1>week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. Jared. I

0:57:37.000 --> 0:57:38.600
<v Speaker 1>love being a studio with you. Thanks for your love

0:57:38.600 --> 0:57:39.960
<v Speaker 1>being in studio with you two. We need to do

0:57:40.000 --> 0:57:41.840
<v Speaker 1>this more if we really we need to be in

0:57:41.920 --> 0:57:44.280
<v Speaker 1>studium are often. Thanks for sitting through this with me.

0:57:44.280 --> 0:57:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Big thank you to our guests Tracy Crossley. Be sure

0:57:47.800 --> 0:57:50.240
<v Speaker 1>to check out her podcast, Deal with It. Big thank

0:57:50.240 --> 0:57:52.280
<v Speaker 1>you to Katie from fund for calling and talking to

0:57:52.320 --> 0:57:54.040
<v Speaker 1>us for a little bit. Big thank you too, Anonymous

0:57:54.080 --> 0:57:56.440
<v Speaker 1>for sharing her story about her crazy ex boyfriend and

0:57:56.480 --> 0:57:58.760
<v Speaker 1>her emails are from Anonymous. I wish we had time

0:57:58.800 --> 0:58:01.520
<v Speaker 1>to answer more, but unfortunately we do that. Um Also

0:58:01.640 --> 0:58:03.520
<v Speaker 1>for the Fat Fit Fun, use our code help for

0:58:03.600 --> 0:58:05.600
<v Speaker 1>ten dollars off. That's right and actually is here. So

0:58:05.640 --> 0:58:07.240
<v Speaker 1>maybe if she says hi, we can say that she's

0:58:07.280 --> 0:58:09.120
<v Speaker 1>a special guest star. Maybe that'll help you know, get

0:58:09.160 --> 0:58:19.720
<v Speaker 1>boost hire. A special People's Choice Award is surly Arest

0:58:20.360 --> 0:58:23.160
<v Speaker 1>lock it in. Thank you so much for listening. Be

0:58:23.200 --> 0:58:24.760
<v Speaker 1>sure to tune in next week, where maybe we will

0:58:24.800 --> 0:58:27.840
<v Speaker 1>suck just a little bit less. Follow Help I Suck

0:58:27.880 --> 0:58:31.120
<v Speaker 1>at Dating on I Heart Radio, or subscribe wherever you

0:58:31.200 --> 0:58:32.480
<v Speaker 1>listen to podcasts.