1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: This is Laura. I am recording from the closet in 11 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: my office. Many reasons for that. It's somewhat quiet in here, 12 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: but not a whole lot of you soft stuff in here, 13 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: so it may be a bit ecuey. I apologize for that. 14 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: We're still working out with this move. It's complicated. Moving 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: turns out to be really challenging, especially with seven people 16 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: and lots of stuff and new systems. Anyway, it's you're 17 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna get to soon, Sarah. You're getting me so 18 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: excited for it too. We'll put it off as long 19 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: as possible. Although all of a sudden I was like, 20 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: oh right, we have to pay mortgage and rent. That's 21 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: a shame. So now I'm like, yeah, I mean we 22 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 1: we sort of, I mean, we have some time here, 23 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: but we're needing to We just need to start living 24 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: in it, right, Like, at some point you need to 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: just do it, even if everything's not perfect, because you 26 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: sort of figure out more stuff that isn't you know 27 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: that needs to be fixed by living here, and you 28 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: know it's going to happen to happen eventually, so pull 29 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: the band aid off and figure it out totally. Yeah, 30 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: it'll fall into place. You'll like figure out what. Yeah, 31 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: that is kind of an interesting challenge like what to 32 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: do in which room kind of a thing, but holistically 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: it will kind of it'll happen. It'll happen. It'll happen. 34 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: So you know, how's the new year going for you? 35 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: So far? Are you? I'm sure you're so charging forward 36 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: on goals left and right. I did order a lot 37 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: of pairs of shoes, so, I mean that's fun part 38 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: of the resolutiones right, It's like I promised to upgrade 39 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: my wardrobe. Hey, I know, I love how like I 40 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: went for that one first. I was like, hey, I'm 41 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: doing gold directed behavior by ordering multiple pairs of shoes. 42 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: But you know what, I did really need new shoes. 43 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: So I'll have to update you all later in a 44 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: future episode about how that adventure goes. Sounds good well 45 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 1: and how I started, Yeah, I've ye. How is Shakespeare? Yeah, 46 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: I finished reading Twelfth Night. I'm sort of figuring out. 47 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: So I read Warren Peace in twenty twenty one and 48 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: read one chapter a day because there's three hundred and 49 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: sixty one chapters, so that worked out very well. Like 50 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: I knew exactly what I was supposed to be reading 51 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: every day this year. I'm reading through all the works 52 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: of Shakespeare, and I have a calendar, but the person 53 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: who did it just said, like, okay, read Twelfth Night 54 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: between January two and eight. Okay, Well that doesn't tell 55 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: you how many you know what to read, like what 56 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: sections to rea each day. So I'm sort of having 57 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: to just figure that out. And I have already finished 58 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: it on in January five when I'm recording this, or 59 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: six January sixth when I'm recording this, but I feel 60 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: like I missed a lot, So I think what I'm 61 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: going to have to do the pace that i'm reading 62 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: at is probably fine, but then I will devote a 63 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: day or two into reading a commentarier so that I 64 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: will be able to understand what I am reading, because 65 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: especially when you're reading it as opposed to seeing it, 66 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: I feel like you kind of miss it. Like I mean, 67 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: a good Shakespearean actor knows like what the joke is right, 68 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: and they will show you that that was supposed to 69 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: be a joke through their actions or that there's some 70 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: intrigue going on that you might have missed. So I 71 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: don't know. I think it's good to read it, but 72 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to need the commentary or else I'm gonna 73 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: have to listen to it as well or something. I 74 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: don't know. I wonder if there's like a complete works 75 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: of Shakespeare podcast could be could be and I could 76 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: go listen to the Twelfth Night one and if not, 77 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: that could be your next project project. Well I'm not 78 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: really a Shakespearean X, but there are a great many 79 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: out there. It's one of those areas that there's so 80 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: many people who are studying, like you really never going 81 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: to be, never going to be the top of that one. 82 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: But I can read the Wikipedia articles, let's put it 83 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: that way and figure out or the spark notes since 84 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: so many people have had to take Shakespeare classes, there 85 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: are a great many you know, cliff notes, spark notes, 86 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 1: whatever study guides out there, and I'm sure they will 87 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 1: explain it to me. So you have already ditched a 88 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 1: planner from your stack them reading I know, and we're 89 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: recording this and like that planner lasted like three days. 90 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: It's fine. It was my wellness planner. I'm like, I 91 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: cannot keep up with this, so it's cool. But the 92 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: good news is I kind of repurposed now my hope 93 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: Bunici has like more purposes like my main ones, so 94 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: it works out well. I'll share a planner update on 95 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: best laid plans maybe in February or so, so I 96 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: can go into two more details for those that want 97 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: to know. It's like living in the new house, Like 98 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: eventually you have to just do it, and then you 99 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: see as you are using it what is workable and 100 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: what is not. And without doing that, you can't really 101 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: plan in the abstract what it's gonna what everyone's everything's 102 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: function is going to be exactly. And I gotta say 103 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: I still have high hopes for twenty two. Obviously, as 104 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: we're recording this, a lot of COVID and maybe maybe not. 105 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: Maybe by the time this is it all everyone's already 106 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: had it. That's super optimistic. So, yes, lots of COVID, 107 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 1: but this year is going to be It's still a 108 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: very promising year. Like, don't give up on twenty twenty two. 109 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: I'm not giving up on twenty twenty two. I think 110 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 1: it's going to be great. I'm excited me too, big potential. Well, 111 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: we're doing a mailbag episode today and we have, you know, 112 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 1: some questions that people sent on their blogs that primarily 113 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: ones from our Patreon community, So just a shout out 114 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: to that, and if people would like to join our 115 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: wonderful Patreon community, please go there. Best of Both Worlds 116 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: podcasts and you know, we do monthly online meetups. Those 117 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: have been a ton of fun. In December we did 118 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,159 Speaker 1: one on are helping us set goals for the upcoming year. 119 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: We have one coming up in late January, which we'll 120 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: post more on our blogs about that. But you know, 121 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: we just chat and have a good time. We post 122 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: comment threads, people can discuss topics there and we put 123 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: out a call for questions, so a couple of great 124 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: ones coming in from that, so well, go ahead and 125 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: start Sarah, question number one, you go with this because 126 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,719 Speaker 1: you're better at this than me. How do you keep 127 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: your yearly goals front of mind? And how do you 128 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: get them done? Like is there a monthly planning and 129 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: focusing on one goal, adding deadlines or set dates to 130 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: your calendar? What do you do? I think for me, 131 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: the key is not forgetting what my goals are and 132 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: actually having kind of a set time when I know 133 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: I am going to look at them. So one thing 134 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: is that you can put them in multiple places, and 135 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: I have done that. I have them in my to 136 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: do list, which is an app that I'm using currently, 137 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: and I also have them written down in my physical planner, 138 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: so I have like two places where I'm going to 139 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: see them. The other thing is that for me, I'm 140 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: committed to making goals for like the week, the month, 141 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 1: the quarter. I use quintiles, but you know what I'm saying, 142 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: and every time I'm making at least monthly or quintile goals, 143 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: so on that kind of a large scale, I am 144 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: going to look at my yearly goals to be like 145 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: what would make sense to like maybe throw in there 146 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: now based on what we have going on, And so 147 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: that way, I'm not just looking at them once in 148 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: December and thinking like, well, now the year is going 149 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: to go by. I hope I know remember to buy 150 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: new shoes or whatever. But instead I have like, I'm 151 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: going to keep seeing them and I'm going to keep 152 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: reminding of myself what I wanted to do. And by 153 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: the way, I'm not like rigid about goals. You've already 154 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: heard I ditched a planner like if by March I'm like, actually, 155 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to do that anymore. Then. I also 156 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: think giving yourself permission to be a little bit fluid 157 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: with your goals is good because otherwise you may get 158 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: tired of looking at a list of things you don't 159 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: want to do anymore. Yeah, well that's one reason not 160 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: to like carve them into some sort of motivational plaque 161 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: that you're going to, you know, put on your wall 162 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: very prominently. I think just on a nice piece of 163 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 1: paper would be fine, or you know, on your home screen, 164 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: on your computer or something you could, you know, put 165 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: something there somewhere you will see, but something that could 166 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: be changed, like maybe not tattooed to you, because yes, 167 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: things could change if you have decided that you want 168 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: to do X in early January and by March X 169 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: sounds like not appealing at all, or life has changed 170 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: in a way where X is just not going to 171 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: happen and something else why is happening, and that's great, 172 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: like totally cool, totally cool. So it's there to serve us, 173 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: not to not to trap us. I mean one thing, 174 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily put mine somewhere, but the ones I 175 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: tend to make are either daily, in which case it 176 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 1: is very hard to forget. Like if you're doing something 177 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: every day, like you tend not to forget that it's 178 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 1: something you're doing. So reading Shakespeare is in fact something 179 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,839 Speaker 1: I am doing every day, or it's so like overarching 180 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: that again I'm not going to forget. So, you know, 181 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,439 Speaker 1: making the new house my family's home over the course 182 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 1: of the year, well, every day I'm doing something. So 183 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: that's more of a mantra that I'm repeating. So when 184 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: I get annoyed as I'm like waiting for the fridge 185 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: and freezer to be installed even though we're already living here, 186 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: you know, be like we're coming up with ways to 187 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: make this house home. It's going to be great. And 188 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: then you know, supporting the launch of Tranquility by Tuesday 189 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: in the fall, my book. And so again it's like 190 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: much of my work is focused on like, Okay, is 191 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: this bringing people into my sphere? Is this, you know, 192 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,199 Speaker 1: encouraging people to get to know my work? Is this 193 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: you know, introducing concepts to new people so they might 194 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: be interested in these new habits that will help support 195 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: their goals in life. And you know that's again it's 196 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: just a mantra going through. So if those kind of goals, 197 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 1: you may not need to put them anywhere. But if 198 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: it's something that is for the future, like this is 199 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: what I want to do in August, you might not 200 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: remember that, so put it on your calendar for August, 201 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: so you'll make sure that you know about that. And 202 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: one other thing is that you might want to think about, 203 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: like if you have a friend or a partner or 204 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: somebody like Laura jokes that I like make her think 205 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: about her goals when we do our podcast episodes in 206 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: the middle of the year and the end of the year. 207 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,079 Speaker 1: So if you don't have a podcast co host, maybe 208 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: there's somebody in your life who can serve that role. 209 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: Find your Sarah. That's our that's our answer for that. One, 210 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: all right, Question two? How do you find child care 211 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: when traveling? So this listener in August is going to 212 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: speaking of August goals, We'll be spending a week at 213 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: a conference and bringing her new baby with her. Yay. 214 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: So she's got big goals for the year, conferences and babies. 215 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: She will need all day child care because she is 216 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: going to be doing dinners, doing all the networking that 217 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: didn't happen over the past two years with babies in COVID. 218 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: So how does she find a nanny at the place 219 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: where she doesn't live, and also does she potentially need 220 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: two nanny's if it's going to be more than forty hours. 221 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: She's renting an airbnb, so it won't be in a hotel. 222 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: So Sarah, what do you got for her? Well, I'll 223 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: share what I would probably do, and then also mention 224 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: a note that we got from the Patreon as well. 225 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 1: So if I were in this situation, well, actually, I 226 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: just thought of another thing. If I have a nanny already, 227 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: I would just fly her with me to the conference. 228 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,079 Speaker 1: So there's that. But this, you know, that would be 229 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: too obvious, So probably that's not feasible for whatever reason, 230 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 1: or maybe she's using daycare at home or something like that. 231 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: But that is an option certainly if you have your 232 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: own nanny. But what I would probably do if I 233 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: didn't have a nanny and I was going to an 234 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: away conference is I'd see if there was, like you know, 235 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: there's there's multiple agencies. The one that I know of 236 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: personally is called Babysitting Company because I've used them, but 237 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: and they're not a sponsor. They don't care about me, 238 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: and I haven't used them for a while to be fair, 239 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: but they're in multiple cities and they basically guarantee you 240 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: if you need like care for XX amount of hours, 241 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: they vetted the people and they'll send it to you. 242 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,239 Speaker 1: And they actually specialize in working out of like hotels 243 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: and like on vacations and things like that. You're not 244 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,439 Speaker 1: always going to get somebody that you're like in love with, 245 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: but you're going to get somebody who is safe. And 246 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 1: you may pay a premium, but again it's short term, 247 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: and hey, if it's for work, maybe it's even something 248 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 1: you could expense, depending on, you know, what your work 249 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: situation is. So that is my idea, and then I 250 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: guess I can mention from the Patreon someone says, you know, 251 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 1: some universities offer backup care as a benefit, so you 252 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: never know, you might actually be able to get that 253 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: kind of care through your actual benefits package. We actually 254 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: have something like that in my healthcare system. I have 255 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,319 Speaker 1: never successfully used it because whenever I've had to find care, 256 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 1: my kids are sick and nobody wants to come. But like, 257 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: you know, this scenario, maybe it would work out. Yeah, 258 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: we've done to you know one. Yeah, bring existing nanny 259 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: with you is most obvious. Or if you have an 260 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: extended family member who might be up for it, that 261 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: is obviously an option as well. If this person did 262 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: not have other children. I mean this is sort of 263 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: a broad thing. If your spouse partner person is up 264 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: for it and could either take the week off work 265 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: again and because they want to see this new city, 266 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: that could be a thing that they might be interested 267 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: in doing. Like, so those are all options. We have 268 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: used nanny agencies in different cities. My husband hired somebody 269 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: in Seattle when he took one of our kids with 270 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: him on a trip there. Person was amazing, like we 271 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: really lucked out. Like people were coming up to him 272 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: being like, where did you find her? Where did you 273 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: find her, So the uh, you know, you could do 274 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: that through a hotel if you were staying at a hotel, 275 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: but they probably contract with the same agencies that you 276 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: would find if you were googling. So just see who 277 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 1: has really good reviews, like which agencies are like responsive 278 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: and people have you know, had good experiences with them, 279 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 1: and then call them up and say when you are 280 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: they'll probably send you a person who has had background 281 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: checks and ideally references for that person so that you 282 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: can then call those two references for the person and 283 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: you know, satisfy yourself that they will be a good 284 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: match for you and for the kid for the week. 285 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,439 Speaker 1: And again if it's a week, it doesn't have to 286 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: be a perfect match, like you know, but somebody who 287 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: will be safe and good with your child for that what. 288 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: I don't know that you'd need to for just one week. Now. Obviously, 289 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 1: if you needed care for the evenings for like regularly 290 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,839 Speaker 1: for your job working more than forty hours a week, 291 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,719 Speaker 1: than yes you should look into hiring multiple caregivers. But 292 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: if this is just a one week tempt stint, the 293 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: person is probably going to be okay with whatever the 294 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: number of hours are. Again, just keep in mind that 295 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: you should probably agree on either a rate that accounts 296 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: for that or if they are going to expect time 297 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 1: and a half for over forty like that, you guys 298 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: have sorted that out ahead of time and so there's 299 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: no questions there. And just as a side for slightly 300 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: older kids that people might consider doing this in the summer. 301 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: For instance, if you have a conference in the summer 302 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: and want to take a slightly older child with you, you 303 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: you can always look into day camps that are in 304 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: the place where you are going, Like, you don't have 305 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: to be a resident of a place to send your 306 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 1: kid to a day camp that is there. I know 307 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: my brother took one child with him on a trip 308 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: once and he attended a summer camp there for a week, 309 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: so that was a good match for them. So yeah, 310 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: you will be able to come up with something good. 311 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: And you know, again, I add one more thing, since 312 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: you are renting the airbnb, and since it's a new 313 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: baby that you're taking with you as soon as because 314 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 1: you're planning on breastfeeding, which means that you will be 315 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: stopping by every few hours anyway, so you're going to 316 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: have an automatic check in on the situation, which should 317 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: also kind of ease your mind about hiring somebody that 318 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: you don't know that well that you're going through an 319 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 1: agency because you will be there every three or four hours. Anyway, Yes, 320 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: all great options. We have to take a quick ad 321 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: break and we will be right back with some more 322 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 1: awesome questions. All right, Well, we are back doing a 323 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: listener mail bag with many of these questions coming from 324 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: our Patreon community. We'd love to have people come join 325 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: us over there at Patreon Best of Both Worlds podcasts. 326 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 1: All right, Sarah, this one also for you, since this 327 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 1: is something you had suffered from for years. This listener 328 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 1: has wants fun ideas when kids have non overlapping spring breaks. 329 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: She is so disappointed because hers have spring breaks on 330 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: two different, however consecutive weeks, so we can't travel at 331 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: all unless it's a weekend trip. I'd still like to 332 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: try and make it fun for them, and this person 333 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: has some vacation days to burn, so with love ideas. Yes, 334 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: we did have this issue for at least a couple 335 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: of years, and it's really annoying. I mean, it's one 336 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: of the reasons my kids are all at the same 337 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: school now is because it made me so sad to 338 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: have two separate spring breaks, different teacher workdays, different holidays, 339 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: et cetera. But one thing that we did is we 340 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 1: use that time to do mommy days. So I like, 341 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: you know, it was a natural time that I could, 342 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: you know, take one kid at a time and do things. 343 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: So there is the idea that you could do shorter 344 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 1: one on one trips in some ways that could be 345 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: even more special, you know, with your kids, if they're 346 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: picking the destination and having someone in one time with you. 347 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 1: There's of course, lots of specialty camps in many areas, 348 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: and I think you're in kind of a university setting, 349 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: so I bet there's a number of activities you could 350 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: enroll your kids in if you're just sort of looking 351 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: for something to do, although that doesn't help you with 352 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: your vacation days. And then Laura has a fun idea. Well, 353 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,880 Speaker 1: this might be slightly scandalous for many of us who 354 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: are raised to believe that you could never miss school 355 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: for anything, But if the weeks are consecutive, you could 356 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: take each kid out for an extra two days. Probably 357 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: a lot of people are already doing this kind of thing. 358 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: I've noticed that the attendance on the day before Christmas 359 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 1: at our schools was before Christmas break was light. The 360 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: day on the Friday before spring break also light Monday 361 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: after spring break light. Clearly like people are doing it, 362 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 1: but you could take each kid out for like two days, 363 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 1: or if one child clearly needs to be in it 364 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 1: more than others, you could do three days for one 365 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: kid and one for the other, but then get a 366 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 1: six day trip as a family somewhere and to do 367 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: that time with the you know, since they are consecutive days. 368 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,880 Speaker 1: If you have vacation days to burn and maybe your 369 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: spouse doesn't like and you want to travel for longer, 370 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: like you could go somewhere with the first kid. Maybe 371 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 1: all meet up somewhere over the weekend. Then your spouse 372 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 1: could take Kid one home and you take Kid two 373 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: somewhere for the second week. So that could work out 374 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 1: as well too. I think if you're creative, you can 375 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: still do some pretty fun things and travel, even if 376 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: it's not quite that everyone gets to take the same 377 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,400 Speaker 1: week together. Knowing this person, they will do some very 378 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: fun sureing very she likes to travel to great places. Well, 379 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: they were good. They don't need our advice anyway, all right, 380 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: question for tips for a successful transition to a new job. 381 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: So this listener starts a new job in a couple 382 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: of weeks and it's the first job change she has 383 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: had in eight years. She doesn't feel like her last 384 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: job transition went as smoothly as she would have liked, 385 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: partly because she ended up having two children during her 386 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 1: first three years at the old job, which you don't 387 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: have to not do, by the way, Like, if you 388 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: want to have your babies as soon as you start 389 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: a new job, that is totally your call and a 390 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,120 Speaker 1: good company will deal with it. But she's just saying 391 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: that being out for two maternity leaves very early in 392 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: her new job made it a bit harder of a transition, 393 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: so she wants to she is not planning to have 394 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: multiple babies within her first few years on this job, 395 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: so what can she do to make this transition a success? 396 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: So our listener tip for this one, or our Patreon 397 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: member tip, was to schedule brief one on one meetings 398 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: either zoom or in person with each new teammate plus 399 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 1: anyone else you'd be working closely with for just an 400 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 1: intro meet and greet to like, share personal info, kind 401 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: of get a little bit of a bond, going see 402 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: what everybody's personality is. Like, I think that's a wonderful idea. 403 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: I don't think I got to do that when I 404 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,479 Speaker 1: started my job, but now looking back, I'm like, I 405 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: totally should have. I think that having some scheduled check ins, 406 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: like if you have somebody that you report to, just 407 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: saying like, hey, you know, I'm excited to make this 408 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: job transition as successfully as possible, and part of that 409 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: is making sure that I am doing for you guys, 410 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: what you want. So let's meet weekly for a little 411 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: while and talk about whether I'm meeting the goals of 412 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 1: this position, and also think about what your job you 413 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: really like and how you might be able to gradually 414 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: expand them, because there's no time like in the beginning 415 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: when you first accept a role where things are a 416 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: little bit more plastic because it's not set in stone 417 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: what you've always done. And so if you're like, ooh, 418 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: I love writing this newsletter, I hope that I could, 419 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: you know, expand it to a month. You know, I 420 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: don't know I'm making something up, but like, this would 421 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: be a great time to kind of start with that 422 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: subtle career crafting to build in the elements that you 423 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 1: like more of and less of maybe what you don't. Yeah, 424 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: i'd also add, though, don't expect everything to be perfect 425 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,879 Speaker 1: day one. I mean we can we can put a 426 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 1: little bit too much. I mean one of the books 427 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,199 Speaker 1: that was recommended on our Patriot, well recommended with a 428 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 1: few caveats, was The First ninety Days with the Understanding 429 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: That was written by a man who had not a 430 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: whole lot of home responsibilities, but with some good advice 431 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: in it. But the reason it's saying the first ninety days, 432 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,400 Speaker 1: it's not like the first nine hours, right, you don't 433 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: have to make everything perfect on the first nine hours. 434 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: The first few days you're just going to be listening. 435 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: You're going to be meeting people. If you're going to 436 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 1: an office, you're gonna be finding out where the ladies' 437 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 1: rooms are. Like, I mean, this is what you were 438 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: going to spend your first few days doing. And so 439 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,680 Speaker 1: just you know, have an open mind whatever anyone tells you. 440 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: People all have their own agendas, their own histories, their 441 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: own things. Nothing anyone tells you as necessarily the way 442 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: it only has to be or the way it will 443 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: always be. So you listen a lot, but also you know, 444 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: may make sure you're flexible about what you think you're 445 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: going to be doing and just you know, take a 446 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 1: lot of notes and think about what you would like 447 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,439 Speaker 1: your days to look like and start trying to build 448 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,959 Speaker 1: some new habits that might make life sort of sustainable 449 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 1: long term. Because when you again, as Sarah was saying, 450 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 1: like things are more plastic at the beginning, and if 451 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 1: you come in as the person who always does take 452 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,239 Speaker 1: a real lunch break, like, people aren't going to think 453 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 1: it's weird when you suddenly, you know, aren't at your 454 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: desk from twelve to twelve thirty. They'd be like, oh, yeah, 455 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 1: she's at lunch and that's just all it will be, 456 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 1: right as opposed to, you know, some weird thing that 457 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: everyone now needs to figure out. Or if you always 458 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: go for a ten minute walk at around three o'clock, 459 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 1: you know, when you've got a break between meetings, you're 460 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: just like, oh, you know, get some fresh era. It's 461 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: helps me, you know, function for the rest of the day. 462 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: Bed be like, oh, yeah, she's the person who does that, 463 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 1: and it won't be weird when you start trying to 464 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: do it. Why is she not at her desk? So yeah, 465 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: those new habits can This can be a great time 466 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 1: to start those things that will support you long term. 467 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 1: Love it all right. Question number five is about kid dates. 468 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: So this person wrote in, I'd like a more in 469 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,199 Speaker 1: depth discussion of kid dates that I've mentioned I think 470 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: in my yearly Goals episode. I think I'd like to 471 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,719 Speaker 1: do this more this year and struggle to come up 472 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,919 Speaker 1: with things, especially with a young six year old that 473 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,959 Speaker 1: don't sound awful to me. The eleven year old is easier. 474 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 1: There are museums, movies, and theater productions we'd both love. Also, 475 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: the eleven year old is my mini me. What do 476 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: you think, Laura. That's tough if one child is your 477 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: mini me and one isn't. But they are their own 478 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: people and their own wonderful people, and you have to 479 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: get to know them as they are, and that you know, 480 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,439 Speaker 1: wishing that they were like you. It is just a 481 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: waste of time and you know, not really helpful for anything. 482 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,919 Speaker 1: So one thing is it's helpful just to keep this 483 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: in perspective, like if you are hoping to spend time 484 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: with your kid, entering their world is really one of 485 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: the best ways to do it. So you know, we're 486 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: not talking huge amounts of time if you're going to 487 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: do maybe one to two full days in the course 488 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 1: of a year and maybe a handful of you know, 489 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: two hour things, like even if it's something you don't love, 490 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 1: like you can love spending time with your kid and 491 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: seeing them excited and so keeping a sense of perspective 492 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: if like they want you to play some video game 493 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: that you're not really into, again, one hour is doing 494 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: it with them will probably like make their day and 495 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 1: isn't that much of a strain for you to do. 496 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 1: But you can also you know, brainstorm with your kid, 497 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,679 Speaker 1: like what are things you like to do, and like 498 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: make a list and you can be like, oh, that 499 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 1: sounds really fun, let's do that. You don't have to 500 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: be like oh on any of it, just be like, oh, 501 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,640 Speaker 1: you know the ones that sound fun, you know, get 502 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: very excited about and probably they will get excited too. 503 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: There's probably something in the list that they're gonna like. 504 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: But again, the one thing I would keep in mind 505 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: is that a six year old doesn't know what all 506 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,399 Speaker 1: is out there either, Like it's not like they're on 507 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 1: Google looking for stuff, Like I don't know if they 508 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 1: can even read or you know, write, so they're not 509 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 1: aware of the universe of things that is out there. 510 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,439 Speaker 1: So you might need to think about your kid and 511 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: what they might like and that what you would also 512 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: find tolerable. And you can present those options to them 513 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: and see if any of them sound good for your kid. 514 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: And I'm sure if you put some thought into it, 515 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: you will probably come up with something that you at 516 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 1: least find okay. And even if it's only okay. Again, 517 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: it's not an infinite amount of time. You don't have 518 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,120 Speaker 1: to do this every day for the rest of your life. 519 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: You're doing it for a little bit of time to 520 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,400 Speaker 1: enter your kid's world. I will give you a few 521 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: very low key options that I think can work for, 522 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: like different ages where you might not have as many 523 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 1: common things in common, So like going to a bookstore 524 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: and each picking out a book that you like, Like yeah, 525 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 1: maybe your kid's picking out a book that you're not 526 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 1: excited about, but hey, you're each bookshopping and it's kind 527 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: of fun. Just taking a walk, like going somewhere in 528 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: nature like remember these, don't you know Laura does has 529 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: done like trip days where she's gone to amusement parks 530 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 1: and those are great too. But you can do this 531 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 1: in a very low key way as well, if you 532 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,439 Speaker 1: want to. I have one with my four year old tonight. 533 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 1: She's very excited. Our plan is probably gonna be to 534 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 1: walk around the block and then bake something. She wants 535 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: to make a cake. I'm trying to convince her to 536 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 1: do cookies because I just think that would be a 537 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 1: little bit easier. But I'm sure either way it's gonna 538 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 1: involve chocolate and she'll be happy. You could do drawing 539 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 1: or coloring. Personally, I find that pretty relaxing. That's pretty versatile, 540 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: or like Cameron would probably prefer to build something together, 541 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: so like at a giant Lego set that you two 542 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: work on in increments. Perhaps, so I think thinking small 543 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,880 Speaker 1: and not necessarily feeling like the stakes have to be high, 544 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 1: especially if you're going to do them fairly regularly. That's 545 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 1: why we're I'm kind of aiming for monthly, but like 546 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 1: something to do within the span of a couple hours 547 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 1: that's low key, rather than like them looking forward to 548 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: it all year but then having to wait a year 549 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: for it to happen. Again. Very true, very true. All right, Well, 550 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 1: this has been our mailbag episode, a short one this time. Again. 551 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: I'm recording from my closet and running around with movers 552 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: all over the place. So our love of the week, 553 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I gotta say mine is living only two 554 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: miles from new to old house, a short move. I 555 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 1: was just thinking if we had to have all this 556 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 1: packed into a truck with no ability to go back 557 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,880 Speaker 1: to the old house, it would have been a lot 558 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 1: more higher stress than this current situation where you know, 559 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: I like, the movers were short one wardrobe box yesterday 560 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: and so I'm like, wow, I'll just take that stuff 561 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: over to the house, right Like, I'll just shove whatever 562 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: you didn't fit in my car, bring it over, hang 563 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,119 Speaker 1: it up, like it's all good, no worries there. So 564 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: it's just been it's high stress, yes, but there are 565 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: some things that are lower stress because it's local. I 566 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 1: have the funniest love of the week mine is Cameron's 567 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: new haircut, because I feel like he went from like 568 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: little kid to like cool, like middle I don't know, 569 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: it was like it's a it was a crazy transformation 570 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,479 Speaker 1: just from a haircut. And every time I look at him, 571 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, So what did he do? 572 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 1: What what's the haircut? Like? What could you do? It like, well, 573 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: historically he's always said had a buzz. Okay, that's like 574 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: been his hair, but we let it grow out. And 575 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: then the last time they just kind of trimmed it, 576 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: but it just looked like a trimmed buzz. But then 577 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: the last when he went the last time, they just 578 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: like were able to like shape it a little bit 579 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 1: more like it just looks like an older I'll have 580 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: to share pictures, but it like changed the look of 581 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: him so dramatically, like within a day, Like it's just yeah, 582 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 1: it was really cool, dude, Yeah, exactly. It just gives 583 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 1: me joy. It's my love is amazing. All right, Well, 584 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,360 Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. This has been 585 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,920 Speaker 1: an all mailbag episode. We will be back next week 586 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: with more on making work in life fit together. Thanks 587 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox 588 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,919 Speaker 1: dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, 589 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 590 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 591 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 592 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 1: life work together.