WEBVTT - Phone Tap: Over Aggressive Typer

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<v Speaker 1>In today's prank call, there's a guy who's been commiserating

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<v Speaker 1>with his buddy at work because they just did a

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<v Speaker 1>huge tech upgrade in their building. Yeah, and after nothing

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<v Speaker 1>is going right.

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<v Speaker 2>Does that always happen?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So he's about to get a surprise call from the

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<v Speaker 1>IT department, and I have a feeling they're going to

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<v Speaker 1>say they aren't the problem.

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<v Speaker 2>He is.

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<v Speaker 1>It's your phones app right now.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm working jeffres phone taps on the twenties.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, this is Jeremy.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, Jeremy calling from the IT department. My name's Al.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be back. How you doing.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm doing good. How are you? Hey?

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<v Speaker 2>So the reason for my call you probably saw the

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<v Speaker 2>email recently that we have upgraded some of the technology

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<v Speaker 2>here in the office.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I got that.

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to say I'm sorry. If you're running

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<v Speaker 2>into any bugs or troubles, well.

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<v Speaker 3>I appreciate that. Yeah, there's there's definitely been a few

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<v Speaker 3>hiccups in the system. Has not Yeah, we've been hearing

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<v Speaker 3>what we're looking for. But if we can, if you're

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<v Speaker 3>you know, helping out with getting things fixed, that'd be awesome. Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, Yeah, Well we'll take care of that. But interestingly enough,

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<v Speaker 2>we are running into some issues on our end, specifically

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<v Speaker 2>with your new smart keyboard.

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<v Speaker 3>Smart keyboard.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, I should back up a little. When we changed

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<v Speaker 2>out all the computers, we also added some smart keyboards

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<v Speaker 2>so we can monitor everyone's typing.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so did I do something wrong or what I don't?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not not so much wrong as it is aggressive.

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<v Speaker 3>What did I do with it was aggressive?

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<v Speaker 2>We noticed you've been typing at a significantly higher force

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<v Speaker 2>than the average user. So what I need to ask

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<v Speaker 2>are you angry with your keyboard or.

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<v Speaker 3>Not that I'm aware of. I mean, I'm a fast typer,

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<v Speaker 3>but yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Fast is one thing, but this is like hard, Like

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<v Speaker 2>you're attacking the keyboard with your finger, you know, specifically

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<v Speaker 2>the s key.

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<v Speaker 3>How in the world does it even have that kind

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<v Speaker 3>of system to where I could seize the sensitivity tech upgrade?

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<v Speaker 3>I just told you.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember we talked about this as a smart keyboard. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>I catch you up with us, Jeremy, to get it

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<v Speaker 2>with the times.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I understand, but I didn't even know that

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<v Speaker 3>that was a thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It is, so you know you could be doing this subconsciously.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you have like an X with the name that

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<v Speaker 2>starts that S, or maybe childhood bully.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just typing up my reports. If there just happens

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<v Speaker 3>to be a whole lot of s's, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 3>but I find it hard to believe that I'm doing this.

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<v Speaker 3>If subconscious or not, I don't I don't think it's

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>May I play the audio back for you because we

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<v Speaker 2>actually have that capability?

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<v Speaker 3>Well wait, wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight.

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<v Speaker 3>You are recording my typing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, we are as a company policy, really, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, if you don't believe me, I'll play it

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<v Speaker 2>for you right now and make sure to listen for

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<v Speaker 2>those SS's. You'll hear them.

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<v Speaker 3>Please do. I would love to hear what the hell

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<v Speaker 3>you're talking about?

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<v Speaker 2>There's an S.

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<v Speaker 3>Hard s Okay wait wait wait, hold on, hold on,

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<v Speaker 3>hold on, hold on, don't be a capitalized Can you

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<v Speaker 3>can you stop that? Please? Can you just stop the recording?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What did you say?

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<v Speaker 3>All I'm hearing is just noise. I don't even understand

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<v Speaker 3>how you can tell what is an S and what

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<v Speaker 3>is an agent and what is anything that's just noise?

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<v Speaker 2>Look, I'm just a tech guy.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm no psychologist, but what I'm hearing right now is

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<v Speaker 2>a guy going through a lot of pain in life.

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<v Speaker 3>Give me a break, man. You're hearing that from my typing,

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<v Speaker 3>for God's sake.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm just saying it's an issue we have to

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<v Speaker 2>deal with, Oh my God. And there are options, the

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<v Speaker 2>first being a planned intervention and I know I.

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<v Speaker 3>Know that's not planned intervention over my typing that.

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<v Speaker 2>Or you can attend a four week typing softly class.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not as bad as you think. Okay, let's just

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<v Speaker 2>imagine a whole month of gentle keystrokes. What we Wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>that be relaxing?

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<v Speaker 3>Huh?

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<v Speaker 2>Hang on typing on a sunset?

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<v Speaker 3>Does the company actually know that you're handling things this way?

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<v Speaker 3>That they're paying for this?

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<v Speaker 2>Look, I get it, you're getting defensive.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a defensive. We do have a.

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<v Speaker 2>Seminar scheduled next week in Canada called how to Not

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<v Speaker 2>Hate your Keyboard. Okay, if you drive there, the company

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<v Speaker 2>is willing to reimburse you for half of your gas.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not driving half my gas. I'm not driving to

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<v Speaker 3>Canada for something like this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Okay, just I'm going to think about. I always

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<v Speaker 2>advise the employees to take action first before the company does.

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<v Speaker 2>If you know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>There is no way in hell the company is going

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<v Speaker 3>to discipline me or fire me based on the way

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<v Speaker 3>I type on a keyboard.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure, but they may phone prank you, you know, or

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<v Speaker 2>your coworker Josh may set you up on a morning

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<v Speaker 2>radio show. I mean, you never know what's gonna happen.

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<v Speaker 2>It could be happening right now.

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<v Speaker 3>What you don't know now you do.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, because this is actually pose from the radio show

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<v Speaker 2>Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, I'm we're doing a

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<v Speaker 2>phone tap on you.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you freaking kidding me? Got you? Oh my god?

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<v Speaker 2>You thought I worked in it? Bro, I'm not even

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<v Speaker 2>allowed in that department here at the radio station.

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<v Speaker 3>I can understand why.

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<v Speaker 2>Holy oh, there's that capitalist word.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait a minute, Oh my god, this is too much

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<v Speaker 3>wow for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Imagine me. I got to listen to aggressive typing for

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<v Speaker 2>seven hours a day. Now, it's a decipher which keys

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<v Speaker 2>people are hitting too hard.

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<v Speaker 3>As long as the company is paying you for it, Bro,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying six figures.

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<v Speaker 2>Brother, I can't even count the cat those years I

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<v Speaker 2>can't count that I.

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<v Speaker 3>Ken.

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<v Speaker 2>Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties broken Jeffrey in the morning,