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Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts, and we have some spectacular stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But real quick, we got a two minute break from

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Speaker 1: our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

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Speaker 2: My friend said that I am a bad friend. She's

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Speaker 2: the one who won't apologize.

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Speaker 3: He's a freaking bad friend.

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Speaker 2: It's like me. So to start this off is like

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Speaker 2: to say I'm changing names, ages, and some timestamps so

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Speaker 2: she can't find this. My friend Anna and I have

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Speaker 2: known each other for a few years. When we first met,

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Speaker 2: it was via a fellow friend, and we got pretty

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Speaker 2: close pretty fast at the time, and for most of

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Speaker 2: this time, she has been my only good friend. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Second Decent seventy three, twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one of the art special Okay story Tom celebretim

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Speaker 2: So I had other friends, but none I had talked

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Speaker 2: to or met as often as anam. It was great

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Speaker 2: and we had a lot of good times and still

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Speaker 2: do when we're together. However, she's been single and figuring

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Speaker 2: out her spicy sleep reality this whole time, and I

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Speaker 2: got into a relationship last year. My last breakup left

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Speaker 2: me traumatized, and I believe I have a lot of

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Speaker 2: unresolved mental problems from then that take a lot of

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Speaker 2: energy from me, and naturally, as I've got both a

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Speaker 2: good relationship and a good friendship to take care of,

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Speaker 2: there's been less time for her. She seems to have

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Speaker 2: noticed this and found other close friends, which truly I'm

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Speaker 2: happy for her. I don't think I can keep up

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Speaker 2: with her needs and wants right now, and they seem

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Speaker 2: to be able to. She has told me on occasion

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Speaker 2: that she feels a bit forgotten after I've gotten into

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Speaker 2: a relationship, which I understand, though I think it's been

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Speaker 2: made worse by the fact that she was basically my

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Speaker 2: only friend for the first year. Most of this isn't

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Speaker 2: actually related to what I'm talking about, but I think

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Speaker 2: it's helpful for context.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so what we know right now is that Anna

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Speaker 3: and OPI are best friends. Yeah, and she kind of

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Speaker 3: doesn't really have any other friends. She gets into a

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Speaker 3: relationship and then Anna feels like she's being neglected friendship wise.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so it's about to probably make some sense about

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Speaker 2: that's felling it why Anna's going about to like do

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Speaker 2: something crazy. However, about a month ago, I was gonna

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Speaker 2: move in with my boyfriend, but I got cold feet.

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Speaker 2: I asked Anna for help, and she helped me formulate

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Speaker 2: my words over a message where I explained what I

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Speaker 2: felt him. We're big time stoner's and we had smoked

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Speaker 2: two joints at this point and was going down a

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Speaker 2: hill to head home when suddenly she says, I need

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Speaker 2: a break from this relationship. Oh, I'm stoned. Somewhat confused,

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Speaker 2: as a second ago we were talking about something else,

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Speaker 2: I just go okay, and she continues to explain how

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Speaker 2: she feels we haven't been together much, that I seem

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Speaker 2: distant and uninterested about things she shares with me or

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Speaker 2: invites me to. She also says I haven't taken much initiative,

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Speaker 2: that I make her feel stupid and useless. She says this,

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Speaker 2: I'm mostly just at a loss for words. I feel bad,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know if it's guilt or just that

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Speaker 2: I feel like she's not right, or if it's just

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Speaker 2: paranora from all of this. After two joints and a

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Speaker 2: mentally exhausting weekend, either way, I read with her and

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Speaker 2: we split ways. Shortly after. I get home and write

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Speaker 2: a long, angry paragraph about how it made me feel

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Speaker 2: I later shortened it down and made it nicer and

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Speaker 2: send it to her about a week or two later.

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Speaker 2: I am a slow emotional processor, as well as that

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Speaker 2: I was moving places and working full time in this

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Speaker 2: time period. I could check what I wrote. But I

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Speaker 2: think the gist of it is I agree with some

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Speaker 2: of the things, but I'm sad and hurt that you

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Speaker 2: felt it had to come to this point before taking

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Speaker 2: it up with me, as well as we feel very

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Speaker 2: cornered by the timing and how it was brought up.

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Speaker 2: I then chose to mention a few things that I

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Speaker 2: didn't agree on, such as taking initiative and leaning too

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Speaker 2: much on her. She's been asking me to open up forever,

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Speaker 2: but when I do, it's too much, apparently. And she

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Speaker 2: wrote back and said that she felt because we hadn't

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Speaker 2: been as much together that it wasn't naturally for her

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Speaker 2: to come to meet with stuff, and therefore it became

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Speaker 2: an imbalanced where I came to her with quite heavy

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Speaker 2: stuff and she didn't come to me. Okay, so and

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Speaker 2: it's like, even when you come to me, it's too much.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I want to say that there is I

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Speaker 3: feel like in this specific situation, there is a huge

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Speaker 3: chance that Opie is kind of not like we're getting

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Speaker 3: this from Opie's side, and so we really don't know

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Speaker 3: if she has been kind of neglecting her friend or

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Speaker 3: friendship for the relationship, which I think is I mean,

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Speaker 3: it is a possibility and is something that happens quite

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Speaker 3: a lot in relationships sometimes, but so yeah, I think

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Speaker 3: you just have to have a conversation with and say, like,

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Speaker 3: what have you noticed? Is there a way that we

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Speaker 3: can work through this or is it just you.

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Speaker 2: Know, yeah, yeah, because they seem it seems like Opie

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Speaker 2: is coming to her just to kind of, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: like trauma dump on her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and at least that's what Anna thinks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Nanna's not being able to come back and yeah,

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Speaker 2: say how she feels about things. That's a vibe.

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Speaker 3: I'm kidding, that is the vibe. And also that's what

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Speaker 3: she's expressing.

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Speaker 2: And Opi also has a hard time emotionally processing things.

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Speaker 2: So I think by the time she realizes how she feels,

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Speaker 2: she comes to Anna and it's like very a lot

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Speaker 2: instead of like how do I actually feel in working

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Speaker 2: through it? In like a lecture, Yeah, which I understand.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like I can blame her for it.

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Speaker 2: She said that she felt I often say no to

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Speaker 2: her invitations and I haven't been inviting her as much,

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Speaker 2: and that is true. However, my side of the story

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Speaker 2: is that she often invites me to parties where there's

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Speaker 2: booze or big groups of people, neither which I enjoy,

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Speaker 2: and she knows this, so naturally I'm going to say

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Speaker 2: no to most of these invitations, and then life just

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Speaker 2: gets in the way. Other times, when I've invited her, however,

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Speaker 2: she has plans many days and sometimes even a week

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Speaker 2: or two ahead. Our schedules just haven't lined up, but

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Speaker 2: we've tried to meet when we can. I've been very

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Speaker 2: okay with this, as I don't feel like we've become

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Speaker 2: any less friends just because we have time apart, and

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Speaker 2: if anything, it gives us more to talk about when

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Speaker 2: we do meet. But it seems it's been a real

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Speaker 2: problem for her. She claims that she invites me to

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Speaker 2: these settings because she misses me. She wants to introduce

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Speaker 2: me to her new friends, which truly is a good thought,

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Speaker 2: but to me, I feel like she doesn't take into

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Speaker 2: account who I am and what I like when she

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Speaker 2: mostly invites me to this, and I feel bad every

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Speaker 2: time I have to say no. It sounds like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna dock this person, but it sounds like

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Speaker 2: one of your friends.

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Speaker 3: I was just thinking about that. I was about to say,

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Speaker 3: I have a very similar relationship to this friend, except

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Speaker 3: ours as much healthier. I was literally just going to

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Speaker 3: bring that up. I have a friend who I invite,

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Speaker 3: like one of my best friends, who I invite to everything.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, you know, open invite to all the

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Speaker 3: things we go, we throw, and she barely comes because

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Speaker 3: and I know her. I'm like, I want you to

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Speaker 3: feel like you're invited to things, but also I know

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Speaker 3: that you're an introvert and you don't want to come

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Speaker 3: to these things. And we're totally fine with that. But

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Speaker 3: our thing is that we make other plans, like we

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Speaker 3: you know, we'll do solo things, or we'll do a

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Speaker 3: thing with our other friends, and we'll make sure that

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Speaker 3: we're still hanging out and we're texting, we call each

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Speaker 3: other like almost every day. Yeah, and so there's still

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Speaker 3: like an active effort, you know, on both ends where

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Speaker 3: we're making sure that we're spending time and stuff even

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Speaker 3: though she's not coming to any of these things that

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Speaker 3: I'm inviting.

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Speaker 2: Your two Yeah, and I think they just know that

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Speaker 2: they just need how much. I don't think OPI knows

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Speaker 2: how to have that conversation. I wish they were watching

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Speaker 2: this right now so they knew how to have this

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Speaker 2: conversation with Anna. Yeah, but can you get the gist here? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because it just sounds like Opie wants to smoke a

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Speaker 2: few and just chill, just chill out.

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Speaker 3: And that's fine because I mean with my friend, I'm

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Speaker 3: every time I invite her to something, I invite her

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Speaker 3: and I say, I know you probably aren't going to come,

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Speaker 3: but like here's the invite and it's not like a, oh,

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Speaker 3: I know you're not gonna come. It's just like I

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Speaker 3: know you. It's fine. I just want you to know

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Speaker 3: that you're always invited to things. But also this is

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Speaker 3: going to be a big event, so you're gonna be

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Speaker 3: invote for whelmed. So it's just like having that communication.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, no, this is I was singing that exact

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Speaker 3: same thing. I have a very similar setup. I would say,

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Speaker 3: not friendship. We have very different friendship to these people.

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Speaker 3: Harveager is so much better, so much better. You won't

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Speaker 3: even believe it's like the same setup of you know,

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Speaker 3: we both enjoy different things and we both have very

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Speaker 3: busy schedules, and we make it work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Anna's an extrovert, OPI he's an introvert. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: have to work with that.

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Speaker 3: Gotta work with that.

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Speaker 2: I also find her wanting to do stuff or go

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Speaker 2: take a drink or other things that cost money, and

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Speaker 2: I don't have the budget for that anytime. She's got

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Speaker 2: a lot of money in her savings and a soft

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Speaker 2: cushion to fall on if she ever goes broke. I don't,

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Speaker 2: so I've been feeling angsty about meeting her when I

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Speaker 2: don't have any money to and I especially don't want

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Speaker 2: to be at a bar sober and not even be

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Speaker 2: able to have a beer. Only fun thing to do

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Speaker 2: then is hook up, and I'm not single, so that's

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Speaker 2: not an option.

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Speaker 3: Spicy sleep is the only fun thing to do at

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Speaker 3: these parties. They can't even do that, So the point

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Speaker 3: was to me. Another situation I'd like to bring in

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Speaker 3: is when we were gonna meet after work one day

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Speaker 3: when she got off at three, so I asked her

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Speaker 3: over snapped the day before when we were going to meet.

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Speaker 3: She didn't open it and called me after work and

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Speaker 3: said she'd have to fix a few things before we

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Speaker 3: could meet, but she should be ready in an hour

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Speaker 3: or two. I can't really blame her for this, because

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Speaker 3: I could have called an asked, but I downloaded Snapchat

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Speaker 3: recently in belief that she used it more than messages,

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Speaker 3: and in order to keep in touch with her and

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Speaker 3: others more easily. I do have ADHD, so I could

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Speaker 3: be pretty impatient. If if you have it to you

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Speaker 3: probably know what I call waiting mode to me. Whenever

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Speaker 3: there's less than an hour until I have to leave,

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Speaker 3: I can't do anything big. I can't go for a walk,

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Speaker 3: I can't make food. I can't do a quick workout

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Speaker 3: session or even turn a movie on in fear that

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Speaker 3: I'll forget. And even if I can turn on a movie,

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Speaker 3: it gives me this constant feeling of being distracted from

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Speaker 3: something more important, and I can't enjoy the movie. Do

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Speaker 3: you feel this way? Yeah? Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, Like if I if I have to leave in

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Speaker 3: an hour, I'm like, that whole hour is just me.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm I have to go. Yeah, really, like

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Speaker 3: I can't do it, Like I'm either getting ready or

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Speaker 3: I'm just waiting.

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Speaker 2: That's that's interesting because like whenever, like our lives shoots

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Speaker 2: are about to happen. That's different. So it's not big

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Speaker 2: to you.

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Speaker 3: It's different. Wow, I mean like you're heard.

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Speaker 2: Of first guys live shoons of her are big to her.

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Speaker 3: Oh they are big.

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Speaker 4: They are big.

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Speaker 3: It's just different.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's like, I'm not going somewhere. So when

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Speaker 3: she calls me about one and a half hours later

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Speaker 3: and asked to come by another two hours later, I've

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Speaker 3: already spent about three or four hours preparing to meet

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Speaker 3: her and being able to to do much. I've told

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Speaker 3: her that this is something that really affects me, and

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Speaker 3: I get seriously impatient, to the point where my blood boils,

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Speaker 3: my heart races, and if the plans aren't happening, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to cry out of frustration. She's usually late, and

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Speaker 3: I can handle the five to twenty thirty minutes wait

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Speaker 3: pretty well. My problem is that I don't feel like

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Speaker 3: she takes this into account and tries to take an

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Speaker 3: earlier bus. I've actually seen her wait inside the door

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Speaker 3: until Google Maps tell her to go, only to lose

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Speaker 3: the bus when she initially was early, yet she won't

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Speaker 3: change her walking speed on the app anyways, when she

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Speaker 3: asked me to come later, I tell her that I

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Speaker 3: really don't want to wait any longer. She needs to

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Speaker 3: bargain with.

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Speaker 2: Me and lets me know that we didn't have a

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Speaker 2: planned time and therefore it's not our fault I've been

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Speaker 2: waiting so long. She also tells me I should have called,

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Speaker 2: and she just doesn't want to open any snaps. Eventually,

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Speaker 2: we agree that I'll meet her an hour earlier than

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Speaker 2: she wanted, and when I get there, I try to

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Speaker 2: explain that this is very hard for me to keep

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Speaker 2: waiting and knowing we're going to meet up soon, only

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Speaker 2: for it to be pushed further and further away. She

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Speaker 2: starts talking about her bipolar disorder and how it can

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Speaker 2: make her time perception bad and how she can get

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Speaker 2: stuck on certain tasks because of her OCD. So these

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Speaker 2: two are just not compatible whatsoever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like they're both putting all of the

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Speaker 3: you know, the blame on their respective like mental issues,

264
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Speaker 3: diagnosis and stuff, and it's like, Okay, you guys need

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Speaker 3: to figure out a way to you know, for that

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Speaker 3: to work. Yeah, or the friendship is not gonna work

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Speaker 3: it down.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm. I don't say anything back because I don't want

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Speaker 2: to ruin the mood. But I'm deeply hurt by this.

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Speaker 2: I understand her, and as someone with f up time perception,

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Speaker 2: I do understand that sometimes time just moves too fast.

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Speaker 2: I also understand getting caught up on tasks, as I'll

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Speaker 2: often forget my wallet and then my keys, and then

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Speaker 2: my water bottle and then it repeats. So I get her.

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Speaker 2: I just feel like it's a crappy way of saying, Oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry you feel like crap because of me, But

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Speaker 2: it's actually not me at all. It's a symptom of

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Speaker 2: two of my diagnosis.

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Speaker 3: But that's what you're doing, opie.

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Speaker 2: All while she hasn't really even said sorry, yeah, these

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Speaker 2: I feel.

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Speaker 3: Like you're both doing the same thing. Yeah, she's annoying. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's like you're both doing the exact same thing. You're

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Speaker 3: both blaming it on your diagnoses, like you're you saying, oh,

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Speaker 3: it's my HD and her saying oh it's my OCD

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Speaker 3: and like bipolar disorder. Yeah, and it's like, okay, well,

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Speaker 3: figure figure a way that works out for you.

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Speaker 2: They're not taking account of the no.

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Speaker 3: Like everyone's blaming each other for something instead of actually

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Speaker 3: saying you know what, like hey, I've not you're you

291
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Speaker 3: know what, I'm so sorry that you're feeling that way.

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Speaker 3: I'll try and make an active effort to be better.

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Speaker 3: These are some things that could help, Like maybe if

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Speaker 3: we met one on one, maybe that would be better,

295
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Speaker 3: Like you find solutions instead of constantly blaming. You know.

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Speaker 2: I understand that our diagnosis and problems with them are

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Speaker 2: polar opposites, as I need to now know how long

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Speaker 2: it is until we meet, and she often doesn't know.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like I get the short end of

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Speaker 2: the stick every time and I always have to wait

301
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Speaker 2: for her. I honestly can't even remember a time she

302
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Speaker 2: was early. We've been talking a bit back and forth

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Speaker 2: over messages about this very long message with hours to

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Speaker 2: days in between each one. Last one she sent was

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00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,280
Speaker 2: rather short and ended with I'd like to take this

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00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,760
Speaker 2: in person, I replied and apologize for something that I

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Speaker 2: already apologized for. After the initial apology, I asked for

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Speaker 2: clarification on something she wrote and ended with a note,

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Speaker 2: I've mentioned a few things that are important for me

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Speaker 2: moving forward that you haven't really said anything about and

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Speaker 2: I'd like a reply from you before we talk about

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Speaker 2: this in person. To what she said, yes, I understand,

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Speaker 2: and I hear you only then to clarify that what

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Speaker 2: I asked about and then ask to me in person again.

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Speaker 2: Now this really stuck because yet again I feel that

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Speaker 2: I have to take her needs into account when she

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Speaker 2: won't take my needs into account. I've been going back

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Speaker 2: and forth on why I need this digital reply first,

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Speaker 2: and I've concluded that it's because I don't want to

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Speaker 2: sit there and hear all the crap things about myself

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Speaker 2: if she's not going to take any of what I

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Speaker 2: said and apologize for at least some of it. So

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Speaker 2: she just doesn't want to waste her time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I feel like in person of conversations better

325
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 3: because you can't misinterpret things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm misasturbating a lot. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: It seems like you guys have just different ways of

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Speaker 3: dealing with functioning.

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Speaker 2: It's not that I don't want my problems to take focus,

330
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Speaker 2: but she has a history of not really caring about

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Speaker 2: how I feel when she's mad. She left me very upset,

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00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 2: and I've had to ask her to apologize more than once,

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00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,040
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna just let her walk all over

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00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,640
Speaker 2: me and swallow my pride if she won't at least

335
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 2: a bit of back it up. And I'd like the

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00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 2: face to face conversation to be about her and what

337
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,400
Speaker 2: she feels. So getting a reply from her O her

338
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,360
Speaker 2: messages first would help us accomplish that. And you can

339
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,240
Speaker 2: accomplish join his lab every weekday at three pm pist

340
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:41,000
Speaker 2: on Facebook, YouTube, ttok wherever. Just tab her profile top it.

341
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,120
Speaker 2: How you feeling about this rat?

342
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does feel like a long rent and it

343
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,800
Speaker 3: feels like, Oh, he's not willing to kind of accept

344
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,120
Speaker 3: any of her role in it, and it seems like

345
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,240
Speaker 3: neither is Anna. Oh maybe topples therapy YEA, honestly, is

346
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,560
Speaker 3: there a thing is friends therapy? I don't think so

347
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 3: could be. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could probably

348
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:04,520
Speaker 3: just go to couples therapy friends. M Yeah, I think that.

349
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,400
Speaker 3: Maman says, Yeah, it seems like friend is self diagnosing

350
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 3: to one up OPI it is a possibility.

351
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just like one helping each other.

352
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,240
Speaker 3: Ah, they're just like, oo you did this, then well

353
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 3: you're mad at me for this? Well how about this.

354
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,440
Speaker 3: It's just a back and forth. I don't know how

355
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,880
Speaker 3: to fix this for you is you just have to

356
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,880
Speaker 3: have a conversation, but neither of you willing.

357
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 2: I'm willing to have that conversation. At last, I texted

358
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,600
Speaker 2: her and said, I now voice to you that I

359
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 2: need a reply from you before we meet. I like

360
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,560
Speaker 2: to meet you in person to talk about this, but

361
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 2: I need better response than I understand and I hear you.

362
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 2: I've agreed that we should be better at talking a meeting,

363
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,880
Speaker 2: but I feel this shouldn't be a constant need. I'm

364
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 2: not the person who can meet you often for long

365
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,080
Speaker 2: periods of time, and honestly, I don't want friendships that

366
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 2: depend on how often we meet. She's yet to reply,

367
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 2: but I know she's at our fellow friends Halloween party

368
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 2: right now. I was supposed to be there, but I

369
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,240
Speaker 2: got hit with a migraine at work and had to

370
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 2: go home. Also, I got to say, I'm rather uncomfortable

371
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 2: with the whole situation. I don't know how to talk

372
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 2: to her in this mood without being bossy, so better

373
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 2: not to talk, I guess. Anyways, there's more to the story,

374
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 2: so please ask if there's anything unclear. So I am

375
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 2: I the a hole. You both are.

376
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,680
Speaker 3: I think you're both the ahole.

377
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you both are a holes.

378
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 3: For not they both need some time apart to figure

379
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,280
Speaker 3: out because they seem like maybe Anna's a little bit

380
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 3: codependent because they are the closest friends, or maybe OP

381
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,680
Speaker 3: is actively neglecting the friendship. I think there's a lot

382
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 3: of different, you know, reasons, but either way, they both

383
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 3: need to communicate better if this friendship is gonna last.

384
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think the thing that's annoying is like,

385
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 2: I never got a time. Anna's like, yeah, we'll talk,

386
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 2: but Anna never said a time. M That's what I

387
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,760
Speaker 2: saw too, mm hmm. Yeah. I think I agree with

388
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 2: Op on that point. But they're both messy, messy U

389
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 2: ming mean, true, it's a friendship fallout, a brewing.

390
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 3: Brewing, but that is the end of that story. I

391
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 3: expose my friend's talksic behavior. Now they're mad at me.

392
00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 2: Ooh, they got caught? What they got caught? They said

393
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 2: they got yacht, They got yacht.

394
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,240
Speaker 3: I nineteen male, am currently in my freshman year of

395
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,920
Speaker 3: university on the other side of the country. For context,

396
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 3: my race is the minority in this university. And as such,

397
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,199
Speaker 3: there are only fourteen of us in my batch in

398
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 3: the faculty.

399
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,439
Speaker 2: Oh, I bet photographers love taking pictures of you.

400
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like You're like bow. By the way, this

401
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: comes from Diligent Penguins seven one one five on the

402
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 3: Okay storytime, separate it, So I'm giving them all fake

403
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 3: names for ease of identification. There are so many names.

404
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Ken, Sean Simon, Samuel Stephen, Hannah Hayley,

405
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 3: Helen Kelsey, Kimberly, Naomi, Patricia Paisley, and myself. This is

406
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,360
Speaker 3: all fourteen of them, I guess, or some of them.

407
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,359
Speaker 3: Patricia and Kimberly are my friends from college, while the

408
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 3: others also knew each other from their respective colleges. There

409
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,679
Speaker 3: is an annual tradition here in our community where the

410
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,000
Speaker 3: seniors are arranged to meet the juniors and get to

411
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,440
Speaker 3: know them ease the process where each senior picks a

412
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 3: junior to be their legacy so they could pass down notes, assignments,

413
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 3: and question banks from their seniors for us to add

414
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 3: on and passed down to our future juniors. The sophomores,

415
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 3: who were all girls, were fun, friendly and welcoming the

416
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,160
Speaker 3: higher seniors. They were fun for the wrong reasons. Needless

417
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,719
Speaker 3: to say, the girls and I were uncomfortable as it

418
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 3: was borderline ragging, but the boys except Samuel were enjoying them.

419
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 3: Let's go Samuel, Samuel's He's the only one, the only one.

420
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 3: What pushed me to my limit was when the male

421
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,440
Speaker 3: seniors forced me into a night of boys only gatherings twice.

422
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,359
Speaker 3: So it feels like maybe this is some kind of

423
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 3: like sorority type kind of hazy mo. Thankfully, nothing awful happened,

424
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: as you put it, but it kind of affected me mentally.

425
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 3: During a call with Patricia, I gave in and decided

426
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 3: to tell her details about how the boys, particularly Ken

427
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 3: and Simon, were making fun of some of the girls

428
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 3: like Hannah, Hayley, Helen, and Kimberly, with some of the

429
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 3: higher seniors chiming in as well. Patricia was unhappy, but

430
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 3: we decided to keep it to ourselves for now. Time

431
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,120
Speaker 3: pass and classes began. I started to notice that Samuel

432
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,719
Speaker 3: didn't hang out with the other boys anymore and assumed

433
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 3: that they had isolated him because he didn't match their vibe.

434
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 3: And again, Samuel is the only one who wasn't like ragging.

435
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 3: All the girls. More than a month after the conversation happened,

436
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: I ran into the girls at my residential college, who

437
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 3: confronted me, wanting to know the full story, as Patricia

438
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 3: had only told them partially. So I told them everything

439
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,959
Speaker 3: that happened on the boys only gathering nights, including what

440
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 3: the boys had said. The girls were obviously cross and

441
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 3: disgusted at the boy's behavior. Two days later, we gathered

442
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 3: again at lunch, this time bumping into most of the sophomores.

443
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 3: We told them an updated version of everything that happened

444
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 3: since our orientation with them, and they advised us to

445
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 3: steer clear of the boys and not trust any of

446
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 3: the higher seniors during Then I walked out of the

447
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 3: room we were in and towards the nearby student room,

448
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 3: where the nearest trash can was. Unexpectedly, I bumped into

449
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,199
Speaker 3: the boys, who asked where I was coming from and

450
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 3: if I was there alone, to which I replied I

451
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 3: was coming from the nearby room and the girls were

452
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 3: there as well. Here's where I may have blundered again.

453
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 3: When the boys asked if the sophomores were there as well,

454
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 3: I proceeded to lie and say they weren't there because

455
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 3: I didn't want them bar urging in while we were

456
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 3: gossiping about them. Of course, I was immediately caught in

457
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 3: my life as a few of the sophomores walked in

458
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 3: to throw the trash mere seconds after I left. Things

459
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 3: went quiet for the next couple of weeks. I started

460
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 3: hanging out more with the girls and was on a

461
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 3: mutual silent treatment with the boys. Three days ago, I

462
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 3: was on the phone with my mom when I brought

463
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 3: up the silent treatment. I decided to tell my mother

464
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 3: enough details about what had been going on, after which

465
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 3: my mother urged me to clear the air between myself

466
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: and the boys.

467
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 2: Why just don't why you must be buried, Opie, Yeah.

468
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 3: This is weird. So just we got Patricia is I

469
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 3: guess op has been confiding in Patricia and we don't

470
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 3: know if she's kind of been telling half stories. Yeah,

471
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 3: and then we have all the boys, but Samuel are

472
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 3: kind of the worst. And that's kind of where we're at.

473
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 3: And she's now being told to clear the air with

474
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 3: the boys. Mustering the courage, I spoke to each one

475
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,199
Speaker 3: of them individually, then to all of them together the

476
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 3: next day, hoping to get some clarification that's when I

477
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 3: came to know what went down after the lunch gossip,

478
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 3: the girls have stopped talking to the They claim that

479
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 3: the girls ignored them whenever they tried to read them.

480
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 3: The sophomores have also stopped acknowledging the boys. Consequently, they

481
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 3: never received the aforementioned notes, question banks, et cetera. And

482
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 3: we're never included in any outings with them. The best part,

483
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 3: Samuel was never isolated. You chose not to be associated

484
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 3: with our community and left to find other friends. Samuel

485
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 3: knows how to do it. Naturally. They blamed me for

486
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 3: their misfortunes and demanded to know every single detail. Oh boy, okay,

487
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 3: so now op, he's coming back to clear the air.

488
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 3: And they're like, oh pie, you're stealing our friends and

489
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 3: we're not getting our question banks and our our notes,

490
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 3: and oh, he's like, now's your fault? Many I tried

491
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 3: to hide everything and let out a few information only

492
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 3: while also trying to shift the blame onto the girls

493
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: for spreading it and making things worse by getting the

494
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 3: seniors involved. Why the guys were the ones acting poorly?

495
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 3: Why are you trying to blame other people? Why aren't

496
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 3: we trying to be friends with them.

497
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,959
Speaker 2: Also, Oh, he's the scapegoat.

498
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, or she's trying to scapegoat other people.

499
00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 3: It seems Oh, it seems like she's like, for some reason,

500
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 3: wants to apologize to the guys and is going to

501
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 3: blame everyone else to get them back on her side.

502
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 3: I see, I see very strange. I repeatedly apologized to

503
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 3: them and also volunteered to fix everything and patch things

504
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 3: up between everyone. The boys were nowhere near consoled. They

505
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 3: said they were disappointed in me for breaking the trust

506
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 3: and wanted nothing to do with me ever again. I

507
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 3: may greet them or exchange favors, but nothing more beyond that.

508
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 3: I thank them for having this conversation, left the room

509
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 3: and broke down on a call with my mom. I

510
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 3: then met with Patricia and told her what happened. She

511
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,719
Speaker 3: comforted me, saying that the girls and the sophomores already

512
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 3: had their reasons to go no contact with the boys,

513
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 3: and my intel was simply the final nail in the coffin.

514
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 3: Patricia consoled me and told me to look at the

515
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 3: silver lining in this situation. She also said that the

516
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: girls will always be there for me, even though you

517
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 3: try to break and throw them under the bus, to

518
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: which I had to show her the reality that the

519
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 3: girls can't help me with everything and that I'm practically

520
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 3: alone now, girl, just what are you doing? Also, what

521
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 3: I did has ruined everything for our friend group, our

522
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 3: relationship with the seniors, and potentially our relationship with the

523
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 3: future juniors. Ended the conversation with her advising me to

524
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 3: hang in there until things get better. I know I

525
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 3: am very much in the wrong here for sharing something

526
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 3: that is not mine to share in the first place,

527
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 3: but I swear I never had any bad intentions. I

528
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 3: just wanted to look out for the girls and at

529
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 3: the very least warn them about who we are dealing

530
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 3: with for the next five years. I can't blame Patricia

531
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 3: for wanting to do the same as well, or the

532
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 3: seniors for wanting to check on their juniors, or the

533
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: boys for just being themselves. They're being bad, They're being

534
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 3: bad people. Also, karma is real, and I have a

535
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 3: sister at home. Thirdly, the girls and I want to

536
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 3: save our future juniors from the tradition that we and

537
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 3: our seniors went through during the orientation. The boys have

538
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 3: made up their minds to continue it, and we have

539
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 3: made up our minds to continue being live on YouTube

540
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 3: and Facebook and TikTok. Every week they have three pmpst

541
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 3: and you should make the decision to join us just

542
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 3: at our profile and there is a little bit left.

543
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 3: But it feels very weird. It feels like, oh, piece

544
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 3: simultaneously is like, I'm you know, I want to tell

545
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 3: all of the girls that the guys are behaving terribly,

546
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 3: you know, I want to make sure that everyone knows

547
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 3: about this. And the second that everyone knows about this,

548
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 3: and the boys are like, well, we don't want to

549
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: be friends with you. Ohpi, He's like, well wait, like

550
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 3: it's not my fault, it was the other girls, and

551
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 3: I'm not I can't be friends with the other girls now.

552
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ian Silver Mexicod points she must have a lot

553
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: of respect for the relationship with her mom and her opinion.

554
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: I think she's just doing this because her mom, what

555
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: sort of.

556
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 3: I guess so. But it's just so weird because she's

557
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 3: like made the original right decision to tell people about

558
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,959
Speaker 3: the bad behavior of these guys and is now kind

559
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 3: of doubling back.

560
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's weird that the friends aren't trying to

561
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 2: understand her. They're just like, oh, whatever, we don't want

562
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 2: anything to do with you.

563
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,400
Speaker 3: Well, the boys, well I get it from the boys

564
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 3: because they kind of suck. We like know that they suck.

565
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 3: But it's also just weird that she's like, I have

566
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 3: no friends when all the girls are like, hey, we're

567
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 3: there for you. Yeah. I don't know, it's weird.

568
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: This is weird. I don't lie. I wish I could

569
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 2: see this friend group, yeah, and see everyone and be

570
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 2: in it to understand the vibe. They're like, oh, Opie's

571
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: that kind of person, or oh, Opie, these are the

572
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 2: o's kind of like you know what I mean.

573
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 3: Prisa Grievis says, how old is op eighteen or nineteen?

574
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 3: I think teenagers? Yeah, like just freshman year of college.

575
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 3: Opie continues, And if y'all are going to tell me

576
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 3: to quit wine and just accept the ragging as part

577
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 3: of the experience, believe me, I did. That's not what

578
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 3: I would tell you. What. It's just that being the

579
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 3: eldest of my family and having watched news of recent cases,

580
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 3: it's the paranoia that's speaking. I know you might be

581
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 3: thinking I haven't learned my lesson by posting this here,

582
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 3: but I thought it might be better for an unbiased

583
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 3: third party to have a say if I made the

584
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 3: right choice or not. As far as I know, nobody

585
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: involved in this story has read it. But if any

586
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 3: of y'all chance upon the story and recognize it, sorry girls,

587
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: not sorry to the boys. Yeah, op I My my

588
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 3: takeaway is not that you should be you know, uh,

589
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 3: that you're in the wrong for not accepting the ragging.

590
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 3: It seems that I'm just like upset that you're doubling back. Yeah,

591
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, well, I didn't accept the ragging, but

592
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 3: now I feel bad because, yeah, you know, leaving me

593
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 3: blah blah blah. It's like, no, they suck.

594
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,959
Speaker 2: You should have made a choice and suck with it out.

595
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 2: You're out an age where you can it's going to

596
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 2: make these mistakes and figure it out.

597
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird.

598
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to these guys.

599
00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 3: Don't talk to them.

600
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 2: They freaking any more gentlemen in this world than men.

601
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 2: So real, that's my new thing.

602
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 3: So true.

603
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 2: She only treats me as a friend when it's convenient

604
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 2: for her, and I'm tired of it.

605
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 3: Grandpa.

606
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm writing this on a throwwig coount and

607
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 2: also just hopeful to gain some perspective. This situation has

608
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 2: been a few years in the making, so please bear

609
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 2: with me. Most of the people I have talked to

610
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: about this in my life love me In return. I

611
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 2: feel immediately go to the she wasn't a real friend

612
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 2: anyways response. Now I'm just so confused by the whole situation,

613
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: and I feel I could use some clarity. Am I

614
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: a broken record? Was she a friend to begin with?

615
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 2: Did we both just move different ways? Was I the

616
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 2: a hole? I have no idea anymore? Give us some ideas.

617
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from the office fan one,

618
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 2: two three three on the r Slish Okay story time

619
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 2: saw brandan Okay. So, Branda and I, twenty five female,

620
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 2: had been friends for years. It was a slow burned friendship.

621
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: We worked together and over the years ended up becoming

622
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 2: really close. Once the pandem we would FaceTime almost daily.

623
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 2: I would have considered her easily my best friend, and

624
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: I thought she would have considered me the same. I

625
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,199
Speaker 2: truly loved our friendship and Brenda as a person. I

626
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 2: didn't really have many friends growing up, so she felt

627
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 2: like one of my first and only true friends that

628
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 2: I felt comfortable around. She was fun and easy going

629
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: and brought out those signs of me too. Also, it's

630
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: worth noting that Brenda and I worked together, but only

631
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 2: for about two months out of the year. The rest

632
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 2: of the time we lived about an hour and a

633
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: half away from each other. Our friendship was over seven issues.

634
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 2: I'llbe at some of that time. In the beginning, we

635
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 2: weren't close as we eventually grew to be. In that time,

636
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 2: I always, and I do mean always, visited her. I

637
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: would get a hotel room in the area, we would

638
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 2: hang out, or I would just drive to her area.

639
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 2: There was one time during the pandemic we met halfway,

640
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: but that was it. I would invite her over, but

641
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 2: nothing ever came of it. I also would always be

642
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 2: the driver. Now I know she didn't love driving, but

643
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 2: had somewhat driver's anxiety, which I totally understand. So most

644
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: of the time this didn't bother me. I enjoy driving.

645
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 2: She did it so much I didn't read that much

646
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: into it. Those around me, however, did take notice that

647
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 2: I would here often that perhaps she was using me,

648
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 2: But with how much we talked and how the genuine

649
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: friendship felt, I couldn't imagine this being the case. So

650
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 2: I just shrugged it off. It's also worth noting during

651
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 2: the months that Brenda and I were in the same

652
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: town for work, we always tried to make time to

653
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: get dinner and hang out. Since this was far more

654
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: convenient than the usual hour and a half commute, we

655
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: tried to take advantage of the only five minutes from

656
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 2: each other while we could. Brenda eventually met her now partner, Jason.

657
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 2: When they first connected, it was around those few months

658
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 2: I'm in town. At first, I didn't know anything about Jason,

659
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 2: so I was constantly trying to hang out with Branda.

660
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: This was also the first year that we were not

661
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 2: working together, but we were still only five minutes away

662
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 2: from each other in the same town. We have previously

663
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: talked about getting together like usual during these months, so

664
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: every week without fail, I would reach out. Every week

665
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: she had a reason she couldn't, I see you.

666
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 3: I'm prioritizing.

667
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: Eventually I found out that Jason came into the picture

668
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 2: around them. I'm still not sure if she was genuinely

669
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 2: busy or if she just wanted her time with her

670
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: new partner, which I totally understand, but I didn't even

671
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 2: know there was a new partner at the time. The

672
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: old situation left me honestly feeling about her. She also

673
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: forgot my birthday around the same time, not the birthday,

674
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 2: not the birthday, and proceeded to three years in a row,

675
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 2: which usually wouldn't be an issue, but compiled with everything,

676
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: just highlighting to our perhaps unequal friendship, kol.

677
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 3: You have higher standards. She forgot your birthday three years

678
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 3: in a row. Put that in the counter.

679
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 2: Put it in the counter, in the counter. Anyway. She

680
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 2: was reaching out less, and I just felt confused by

681
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 2: it all. During this time, I reached out quite often.

682
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: That's a common theme of our friendship. If I didn't

683
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 2: hear from her for a while, I would check in

684
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 2: because we both separately had dealt with mental struggles and

685
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 2: I always wanted to make sure the ones I love

686
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 2: are okay and nice. Eventually, I finally reached out again,

687
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 2: this time addressing my feelings head on. Okay, we're getting

688
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: somewhere here, Okay. At this point, I personally felt like

689
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 2: our friendship was totally slipping away. Her replies were short

690
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: and lacked any genuine conversation, barely talked on the phone

691
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: or hung out in person, and it seems so obviously

692
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 2: different to me. She somewhat freaked out and seemed surprised

693
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: by my feelings, and we talked later through She said

694
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: if she didn't reply, to just spam her to not

695
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: feel weird about that. I shared that feeling like I'm

696
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 2: begging for someone's attention or friendship strikes somewhat of a

697
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: nerve for me. I said I would try to be

698
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 2: less sensitive, and she said she would try to take

699
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 2: my feelings into account also. Move forward another yearish and

700
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: things had gotten a lot better. She moved to a

701
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 2: much further state, which sucked, but we talked fairly often.

702
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 2: On her way home from work, I went and visited them,

703
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 2: her and Jason when they first moved. It's funny that

704
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: she moved across the country and she's like, i'll talk again. Yeah,

705
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: I guess i'll see her now.

706
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I'll see her more now.

707
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: They were still staying with Brenda's mom. So I rented

708
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: an airbnb so I didn't impost. I made sure to

709
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 2: get one big enough for all of us so that

710
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: Jason could join, and so I could get to know

711
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 2: Jason a bit more. From the interactions we had. He

712
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: seems like an awesome guy, and I was so happy

713
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 2: for her. I really thought things were up again and

714
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: hoped she saw the effort I was trying to put

715
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: into not letting the distance impact our friendship too much. Then,

716
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 2: almost two years ago, I met Dane, my now husband.

717
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 2: Do you know what it means? No? I do. After

718
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: years of being lonely and Brenda and I sharing each

719
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: other's lonely single chronicles with each other, I finally met

720
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: the one Dean and I had an instant connection and

721
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 2: he truly the most incredible person and blessing to my life.

722
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 2: During this time, there were obviously so many exciting events

723
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: that I was thrilled to share with Brenda. It seemed though,

724
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: that as soon as it couldn't be exact on her terms,

725
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 2: to communication completely reverted. So if it's on her term,

726
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: she can't do it.

727
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just seems like, you, guys, you need to

728
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 3: maybe move on from this friendship. She's not putting in

729
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 3: a lot of efforts, and that's not fair.

730
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 2: Here we go. For instance, if I would miss her

731
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: call on her drive home from work, but then she

732
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 2: see the notification and ask if we could chat for

733
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 2: a few minutes afterwards, she would say she was home

734
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 2: already I do get being tired after a long day,

735
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 2: but I'm trying my best to get a full picture. Eventually,

736
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be able to get her on a call

737
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 2: at all. For months. I'd reach out and she would reply,

738
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: but not really participate in any conversation. I tried asking

739
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 2: if we could call or FaceTime sometime this week, and

740
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 2: it would never happen. Eventually, it got to the point

741
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 2: where she really knew nothing about my life. I had

742
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 2: moved in with Dean and so badly wanted to talk

743
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 2: to my best friend, and I still couldn't get her

744
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: on the phone.

745
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just not a person who's like putting

746
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: you as a priority at all.

747
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 2: I also felt a bit embarrassed that the person I

748
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: told Dean was my best friend at the beginning of

749
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 2: our friendship seemingly couldn't give me even a few minutes

750
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: of her time beyond a few empty, generic text messages.

751
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: I checked in on her many times, trying to figure

752
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: out what was going on. Finally, I snapped and sent

753
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: her a message saying, essentially, I feel as though this

754
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 2: friendship has been uneven for quite some time, and until

755
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 2: she's willing to talk about it, hopefully pursue a more

756
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 2: equal dynamic. I didn't think we could be friends anymore.

757
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: I said, if she couldn't reply to this, I understood,

758
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 2: and she didn't.

759
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 3: That's crazy, though, to have like a call out from

760
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 3: like a person that you're supposedly friends with and then

761
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: just not reply to it would sucklow.

762
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: I was like, Angie, Angie, SOPHI is my best friend

763
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: and you were never around.

764
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just like and you like texted me and

765
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 3: you're like, hey, let's hang out.

766
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 2: And I was just like, what was the last thing

767
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: I texted you? I know you didn't reply what I said?

768
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 2: Do you have any lime ju? She says, Noah loss,

769
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: I said f She said sorry. I said you should.

770
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 3: Be okay, okay, but I did that was the end

771
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 3: of that. Did I really have to respond to you

772
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: should be?

773
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm sorry. It should have been like, I'm gonna.

774
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 3: Every conversation you have to have, I have to have

775
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 3: the final word. Yeah, okay. I know now.

776
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: Even though I initiated this, all I wanted was for

777
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 2: her to see how much her lack of engagement in

778
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 2: our friendship hurt me. A few months later, I got engaged,

779
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 2: and I was flooded with joy, but also emotion because

780
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 2: the one friend I wanted to tell was it in

781
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 2: my life anymore?

782
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 4: That's it?

783
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: So I reached out. I don't like being a prideful

784
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 2: person or let pride take away from potential healing. So

785
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 2: I somewhat acrap, I admitted any fault I thought I

786
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 2: had in the situation and apologized. I said I should

787
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: have tried to talk to her about it with her

788
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: more and shouldn't have been so hasty. I said, I

789
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 2: miss her, and I feel like we have a once

790
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 2: in a lifetime friendship that isn't perfect, but I should

791
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 2: have worked on it more. I didn't say that I

792
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 2: disagreed with what I said, because truthfully I didn't, but

793
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,479
Speaker 2: admittedly I could have gone about things in a better,

794
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: more productive way. Her response was basically that she just

795
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: wants to forget it happened and move on.

796
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: That just wants a gloss over it.

797
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 2: This never happened. Yeah, we could just forget it. Actually,

798
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 2: like whatever is fine, I'm willing to move on if

799
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: you are.

800
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 3: It seems like on Opie's friend's side, she's just like,

801
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: this is a casual friendship and we don't have to

802
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 3: actually bring up any big issues and he's like, no,

803
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 3: this is a really important friendship to me and I

804
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 3: want to like actively address my concerns.

805
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, although I would have loved to talk about it,

806
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: I did what she said. I just went back to

807
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 2: talking like usual. We sent messages back and forth for

808
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,879
Speaker 2: a few days and then silence because she probably told

809
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,760
Speaker 2: me to spam her, and I don't feel weird about

810
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 2: it if she doesn't answer right away. I did that exactly.

811
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: If I saw a post that reminded me of her,

812
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: I sent it to her, or I'd check in to

813
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: see how things were that day. As someone with pretty

814
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 2: high anxiety, I was truly trying my absolute best to

815
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 2: take what she said as truth and not to read

816
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 2: into things. Eventually, a week turned to a month and

817
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 2: it was just me trying to have a one sided conversation.

818
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 2: I felt like I looked crazy. Lol. Finally, I was

819
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 2: about to send invitations to my wedding. I tried reaching

820
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 2: out to make sure the address I had was still

821
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 2: the current one, and that was the vinal Strung. I

822
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: messaged her. I just said, essentially I was going to

823
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 2: try to take no answer as the answer, and that

824
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: I wish this could all have been different, but she

825
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: wouldn't hear from me. Again, I never heard from her.

826
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 3: So He's like, if you don't respond, that is the answer,

827
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,240
Speaker 3: and that's what happened.

828
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 2: And you can happen to join us live every week

829
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 2: there a three pmpst just tap her profile, we go

830
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 2: live on that.

831
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 3: TikTok, Facebook and YouTube. Just took a room.

832
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: My brain is melting. I'm just gonna finish this find

833
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,439
Speaker 2: of shit. There are no plot lines now. Two weeks

834
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 2: after the wedding, I sent one final message that I

835
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,959
Speaker 2: absolutely probably shouldn't have sent, just saying how I would

836
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 2: love to talk it out if one day she wants to.

837
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 2: I truly hope to hear from her and wish her

838
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 2: and Jason nothing but the best. I guess. My question

839
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 2: to all of you is, what do you think this

840
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 2: situation was? I almost would rather her have told me

841
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 2: off than ghostee me. After years of friendship, feel like

842
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,760
Speaker 2: I had no resolution, and honestly, that's a really hard

843
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 2: feeling for me. I'm not great at letting things go.

844
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: I know this, and I'm actively trying to improve myself

845
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,839
Speaker 2: in that way. I just genuinely do feel though, as

846
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 2: I was a good friend for Brenda, and I don't know,

847
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 2: just can't wrap my head around this. The only thing

848
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 2: I could see creating this outcome is if our friendship

849
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: just truly didn't mean that much to her. But it

850
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 2: feels so wild. I can't imagine all our fond memories

851
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 2: being so one sided. I also feel like a total

852
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: broken record that I am so still torn up about it.

853
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: I also did find out that another very long term

854
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: friend of hers, even longer than me, had a similar experience,

855
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 2: though they letter began talking again. I just would love

856
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 2: some outside thoughts. Clearly I need to move on, I

857
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 2: know that, but it would be nice to hear from

858
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 2: someone other than my mother or husband.

859
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 3: Hahaha.

860
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 2: If you made it this far, truly, thank you for

861
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 2: all your listening, and I hope you have an amazing day,

862
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: sending good energy everyone's white. Thank you. I needed that.

863
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 2: I would have been mad if you didn't say that.

864
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 3: Again.

865
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, get out, get out? Just one sided?

866
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, why keep pursuing someone who doesn't yeah care about you?

867
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like you. You sent her a wedding invitation

868
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 2: to the biggest day of your day, of all days

869
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: in the days that could have been days.

870
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just no Mingming says, Oh, he sounds like

871
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 3: an X who got ghosted. Yeah, like you keep reaching

872
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 3: out expecting change and stuff and they don't. They don't

873
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 3: care enough to respond.

874
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 2: Agreed, I'm getting Do I have to do a teal

875
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: you r of this one?

876
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: I don't know how you would?

877
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 2: Ah, I'm good at teal yours? Actually?

878
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 4: Okay, Sam, Here we're gonna get back to the stories.

879
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 4: But here's three of its bads from our sponsors.

880
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 3: My boyfriend and I are having more and more problems.

881
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,240
Speaker 3: How can I break this cycle?

882
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 4: Break up with them?

883
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 3: To begin with? Yes, I twenty six femail, love him

884
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 3: fifty two mail?

885
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 4: Oh, age gap in the room.

886
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 3: Okay, And I'm sure he loves me and has good

887
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 3: intentions towards me.

888
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 4: I'm sure of it. I'm sure, I'm really sure of it.

889
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: Here is a background on us, so you don't judge

890
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 3: based on age difference. We met two years ago at

891
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 3: a cafe and instantly fell ahead over heels for each other.

892
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:54,919
Speaker 3: So he was twenty four.

893
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: I bet after he bought your coffee and croissant, you did.

894
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:02,320
Speaker 3: Our relationship has experienced credible highs, but also many lows

895
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 3: that often feel unbearable. By the way, this comes from

896
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 3: a tech guillionaire on the Okay story time subur at it.

897
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 3: So we get along on many affronts and he is

898
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 3: my best friend. He is my world and my everything.

899
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 3: As for me, I can be a tough character. I

900
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 3: have high expectations, tend to see things in black and white,

901
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 3: and can become reactive and emotional quite easily.

902
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 4: At least you're self aware.

903
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 2: She also sees things in black and red when things

904
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 2: aren't making profit. Do you know what black Friday is?

905
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

906
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 2: Do you know why they call it black Friday? No?

907
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: Because all the cells are in black. Because if you

908
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: are losing profit, the cells are in red. The markets

909
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 2: are red, so it's black. So black and red means

910
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 2: you see things in profit and loss because she's about

911
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: the money.

912
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 3: See you can just got some lexicon?

913
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, are you warm from that warm?

914
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 3: On the other hand, he has a quick temper, a

915
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 3: big ego, and can be very cold and harsh, not

916
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 3: just with me, and will avoid admitting his mistakes at any.

917
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 4: Cost sounds like a good guy.

918
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 3: For the past two years we have grown so close

919
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 3: to one another. I understand and love him and he

920
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 3: the same for me. We have strong love bond, chemistry,

921
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 3: and connection. Over the past six months, his mother has

922
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 3: been getting sick and his business is struggling. He has

923
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 3: become extremely stressed, gained weight which affected his self esteem,

924
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 3: and has been socially distancing himself from his friends. I

925
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 3: try to encourage him to go out, but he has

926
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: this internal resistance. He's hurting and it hurts me to

927
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 3: see him like this. Despite my best efforts to be supportive,

928
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 3: we often end up arguing over trivial matters, and most

929
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 3: of the time it's my fault for instigating. I have

930
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 3: been trying to be there for him, but it feels

931
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 3: like I'm walking on eggshells due to the high stress

932
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 3: of the situation. I keep holding all my feelings to

933
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: myself and then suddenly bursting at him unreasonably. Here are

934
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: the main problems we tend to argue about. I get

935
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 3: jealous of how he looks at other girls and the

936
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,240
Speaker 3: way he sometimes interacts with them, which can be overly touchy.

937
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 3: He has worked a lot on this issue, and I

938
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 3: appreciate his efforts. Recently, I discovered something It's about his

939
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 3: past relationships. For him, the past is a taboo topic

940
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 3: and he failed to give a reasonable answer when I

941
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 3: asked about it. I kept bringing it up because it

942
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 3: felt unresolved, and each time it would blow up to

943
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 3: a full fledged fight. Only now after he apologized on

944
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 3: this front, I can move past this topic as I

945
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 3: don't think it's worth losing him over.

946
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 4: If someone doesn't want to be transparent about their past

947
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 4: with you, it's such a huge being transparent with who

948
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,439
Speaker 4: they are is a human Yeah, sure our past doesn't

949
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 4: completely define us, but it informs us. Yeah, I mean,

950
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 4: it's the context for who we are.

951
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 3: Also, just like if someone's like if I'm like, hey,

952
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 3: like you know, where'd you grow up? What did you

953
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 3: do for I don't talk about that, and they yeah,

954
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 3: And they said, I can't tell you that. I'd be

955
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 3: like so sussed. He says that he is gaining weight

956
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 3: because of me, since we go out and order a lot,

957
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: but personally I don't eat much, so he ends up

958
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 3: eating everything.

959
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: Yep, yeah that happened to me.

960
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 3: What you just start eating everything?

961
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 2: My girlfriend two years ago would be eating something and

962
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 2: then she's like, okn I finish it. Then I would

963
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 2: finish it and then I get bigger. But now I

964
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: can't even steal anything off of Angie's plate because she

965
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 2: eats it all.

966
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know, I eat all my food done.

967
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 4: Oh I love when people can't eat their food because

968
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 4: I just go at it.

969
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 3: But he blames me for a lot of the bad

970
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 3: things going on in his life. It feels like I'm

971
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 3: being his punching bag. But it's okay. I'm literally the

972
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 3: only one there for him. But this makes me react

973
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: sometimes and start a fight. Physical intimacy has been decreasing,

974
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: but when we actually make love, it's amazing, and there's

975
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 3: a noticeable lack of affection. And he knows that physical

976
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,840
Speaker 3: touches my love language, so sometimes it feels like he

977
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 3: is intentionally holding back to teach me a lesson. I

978
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: am a very attractive woman and receive a lot of

979
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 3: attention from others, but none of it matters to me

980
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 3: except for his attention. His lack of affection makes me

981
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 3: feel unattractive. When I express this to him, he told

982
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 3: me that he sees me as beautiful but doesn't know

983
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 3: why he struggles to give compliments. But this lack of

984
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 3: affection does make me start creating issues.

985
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 4: So Riley, she's with him not only because of the money,

986
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 4: but because of the love making.

987
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 2: But a little too blue pills can do.

988
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 3: And it comes to planning priorities, he focuses on trips

989
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 3: in a holiday is well, I feel we need to

990
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 3: sit down and discuss our future, including the potential for marriage.

991
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 3: In the past, he has said that he is ready

992
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 3: to get married at any time, but doesn't want to

993
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 3: be selfish due to our age gap and wants me

994
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: to be sure. He often does cute gestures around house planning,

995
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: gives thoughtful gifts, and drops hints by calling me missus

996
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 3: in similar terms, but he never directly brings up the

997
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 3: subject of marriage. I did tell him that I want

998
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 3: to see him more proactive on this front, yet he

999
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 3: keeps saying that I am responsible for starting this topic

1000
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 3: as well, and this feels like an excuse.

1001
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 2: Come on, what.

1002
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 4: Does it mean to for a whole proactive around.

1003
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 3: It feels like he is trying to string her along

1004
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 3: one with the talk of oh, missus and other you know,

1005
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,879
Speaker 3: marriage stuff, but he's not actually going to marry her.

1006
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 4: I don't think he's committed to this.

1007
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. And then the second thing

1008
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 3: is that he's blaming everything on her because he's unsatisfied

1009
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 3: with his life, and he's also just trying. Like the

1010
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 3: power dynamics are very apparent here where he has the

1011
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 3: job and the mind and the age and experience, and

1012
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 3: he is like blaming it seems like blaming her for

1013
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 3: like being immature, for not understanding. He's like, oh, putting

1014
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 3: everything on her. Overall, I'm a positive person and don't

1015
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 3: complain much. However, he gets very angry when I become emotional,

1016
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 3: especially when I tear up while discussing a topic or

1017
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 3: expressing that I'm hurt. In these moments, he refuses to

1018
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 3: listen to me. He wants me to be positive all

1019
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 3: the time, while I feel like he's constantly negative and complaining.

1020
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 4: If a partner doesn't have the capacity to give you

1021
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 4: the space to experience your emotion, yes, not a good

1022
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 4: ground for.

1023
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 3: No, I mean you're saying he refuses to listen to you.

1024
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 3: He's acting like a child, which makes sense why he's

1025
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 3: dating a twenty six year old, because what are you new?

1026
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 3: He is very big in size, and when he gets

1027
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 3: angry it gets scary. But recently he has progressed a

1028
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 3: lot on his temper, while I have not progressed on

1029
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 3: my points for improvement, and now he's probably he's probably

1030
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 3: saying I've changed for you and you haven't done anything,

1031
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 3: so he's probably active, like putting these thoughts in her

1032
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: head and saying like, oh, you haven't progressed at all.

1033
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 4: I can't even keep track of, like all the deentionality

1034
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 4: going on right here.

1035
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 3: When we argue he needs space and lots max three weeks,

1036
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 3: three weeks, he shuts me out completely and even blocks me. Girl, girl,

1037
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 3: that is.

1038
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 4: You never acceptable year old man? Fifty two year old

1039
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 4: man that is blocking his partner when he needs space out.

1040
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 3: Of it, he throws a tantrum and literally ghosts you

1041
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 3: for three weeks.

1042
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, yeah, people need space after conflict, but three

1043
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 4: weeks blocking.

1044
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: Three weeks ago no contact is crazy? What I need

1045
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,359
Speaker 3: advice on break up? That's all the That's the only

1046
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 3: advice you need. Two weeks ago, we met up after

1047
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: a very stressful business trip of his, and I ended

1048
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 3: up expressing my frustration about the issue in our relationship.

1049
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 3: I said things as they were, but some of my

1050
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 3: words were harsh. I regret those words as they were

1051
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 3: unresolved emotions from my end, and I could have delivered

1052
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 3: them in a much more loving and constructive way. Often

1053
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 3: let us down like this and the aftermath is unbearable.

1054
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 3: This is don't take someone who has been so gas

1055
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 3: lit like you can tell him the way.

1056
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 4: That she's writing taking all of it.

1057
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 3: Yes, she's taking all of the responsibility for everything in

1058
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 3: this relationship when it's clear that he is icing her

1059
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 3: out and literally scaring her. He wanted a ten day break,

1060
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 3: a ten day break, which devastated me and made me

1061
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 3: feel like I had lost my purpose. When we met

1062
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 3: up after the ten days, things seemed okay at first. However,

1063
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 3: when we started reflecting on what happened, I got emotional

1064
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 3: and teared up a bit at the restaurant, and he

1065
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 3: didn't want to listen. He is still being distant, and

1066
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 3: when we bumped into each other yesterday at a cafe,

1067
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 3: there was tension. He is very fed up with me,

1068
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 3: thinks I'm childish, and says he can't continue like this

1069
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 3: the audacity. He pointed out that we always go through

1070
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 3: the cycle, which I agree with. Usually we talk it

1071
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 3: out and make love, but this time he needs to

1072
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 3: see material change from my end before we get back together.

1073
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 3: And now he's like putting this on her He's like, well,

1074
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 3: you need to shape up, you need to be better,

1075
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 3: you need to meet my standards. He is losing the

1076
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 3: attraction to me and says that I am pushing him away.

1077
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 3: He's like every time meet up on Friday, but he

1078
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 3: will see.

1079
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 4: He's like, every time you get sad, it's such a

1080
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 4: turn off.

1081
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 3: Like he's literally like gaslighting her and stringing her along

1082
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 3: and making everything her false.

1083
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,839
Speaker 2: It's okay, he can. He has enough funds to buy

1084
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 2: another one.

1085
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 4: I think you know who.

1086
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 3: You'll meet up with us if you join us live

1087
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 3: every weekday at three pm PSD on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.

1088
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 3: Just tap her profile. Does this sound like a breakup

1089
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 3: or is he giving me a last chance. I don't

1090
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 3: want to hurt him, and I want to be more supportive,

1091
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 3: especially during the rough times. I know that some of

1092
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 3: the harsh things he said are coming from a place

1093
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 3: of hurt, and mainly hurt I caused. How can I

1094
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 3: show change in my behavior to support my word and

1095
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 3: feelings for him? How can I save my relationship?

1096
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: Oh?

1097
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 3: Pe, you don't you break up with him? He is

1098
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 3: manipulating you and putting everything on you, and there is

1099
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 3: no relationship to save. I know that you said that

1100
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 3: the age gap does not matter, but it does when

1101
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 3: he is acting like a child and the power dynamics

1102
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 3: are very clearly in play.

1103
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 4: Here, Is this the relationship that you want to save?

1104
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes when you break a vase, you clean up the

1105
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 2: pieces and you put it back together. Sometimes you just

1106
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: leave it, leave it alone.

1107
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:16,399
Speaker 3: Throw it out.

1108
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 4: We don't know the full story, but it's easy. Like

1109
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 4: anything that happens, whether it's like you just being sad,

1110
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 4: you are made to be the villain in the relationship.

1111
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,439
Speaker 3: But this is the end of that story, so let's

1112
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 3: get into the next one.

1113
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 4: My first marriage ended because I cheated? How do I

1114
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 4: tell my new fiance.

1115
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 3: Honestly, you should have told her that, like pretty early on.

1116
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 4: A party of three involving one two three people led

1117
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: to the end of my twenty eight year old female

1118
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 4: first marriage. My new fiance, twenty nine male, doesn't know

1119
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 4: the whole story. How do I tell him? I got

1120
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 4: married to my high school boyfriend young. I was only

1121
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 4: twenty two at the time. I would have liked to

1122
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 4: have waited longer, but I got pregnant, so we got married.

1123
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 4: My ex was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first spicy

1124
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 4: sleep first everything, and I was the same for him.

1125
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from you throw away a

1126
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 4: three six y five nine on the r okay storytime stubreddit.

1127
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 4: So it's about three years into our marriage. My husband

1128
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 4: now X begin to hint about spicing up our spicy

1129
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 4: sleep life, as it had become rather dull. He suggested

1130
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 4: a party of three, and I assumed that he meant

1131
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 4: with another girl. I declined because I'm not really into girls.

1132
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 4: But what he actually had in mind was another guy.

1133
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 4: Turns out one of his secret spicy desires that starts

1134
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 4: with a K was watching me with another man. I

1135
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 4: again declined, said I wasn't interested, but he was persistent

1136
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 4: and eventually wore me down. If I'm being honest, I

1137
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 4: was a little curious, having only been with one guy

1138
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 4: my whole life. I agreed. We found a guy online

1139
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 4: and set the whole thing up. I won't go into

1140
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 4: details on the whole event, but I had the best

1141
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 4: spicy sleep of my life that night. Rough Man, my

1142
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 4: ex seemed to enjoy himself as well. Meeting up with

1143
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 4: this guy we'll call him Tim, became a regular occurrent.

1144
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 4: Things were good for a while, but turned bad in

1145
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 4: a hurry. My ex grew jealous of Tim and I

1146
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,479
Speaker 4: and began to question our relationship. Eventually, my ex told

1147
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 4: me we were done seeing Tim, and when I said

1148
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 4: I didn't want to, that was the beginning of the

1149
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 4: end for us.

1150
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 3: It's not gonna work out if you're not all on board.

1151
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're like, actually, I want to keep having

1152
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 4: spices to sleep with someone and your partner's like, no,

1153
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 4: I'm not on board with that. So we tried to

1154
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 4: make it work for the sake of our daughter, but

1155
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 4: we were broken at that point. We got divorced and

1156
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 4: I ended up dating Tim for a while, but that

1157
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 4: ended when I realized we weren't compatible outside of the bedroom.

1158
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 3: It's just like it was really good at one thing.

1159
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 4: I yeah. It fast forward three years and I'm engaged.

1160
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 4: We will call my fiance Alex, and I haven't told

1161
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 4: him exactly what led to my divorce. He knows I

1162
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,399
Speaker 4: left my husband for another man, but I left out

1163
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 4: the rest of it. I'm ashamed the whole thing and

1164
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 4: really don't want Alex to see me that way. What

1165
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 4: it's not like again, It's not like.

1166
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 3: I mean, you didn't really, it wasn't cheating.

1167
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 4: As we know.

1168
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had a party of three, but that's consentually.

1169
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,320
Speaker 3: I think you could tell. I mean I was if

1170
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 3: it was cheating, I would say that you have to

1171
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 3: tell your partner when it gets like somewhat serious. I think,

1172
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 3: like maybe I don't know, when do you tell? Like

1173
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 3: when would you say that? Like I would say, like

1174
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 3: if maybe a couple months into the relationship.

1175
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,720
Speaker 4: Depends on the relationship. But if you're about to marry

1176
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 4: someone and they don't know a big part of your

1177
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 4: dating history, Yeah, it's just concerning. Like I would hope

1178
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 4: that anyone you aren't trying to marry you could be

1179
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 4: completely transparent with them, and if you can't, then that

1180
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 4: shows like a lack of safety.

1181
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:39,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, this one I think you just needed.

1182
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 2: I don't think.

1183
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 3: I don't think your partner would be mad.

1184
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 4: I really love my fiance. I don't think I knew

1185
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 4: what real love was until I met him, But I'm

1186
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 4: terrified of what he will think of me if he

1187
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 4: knows all my past. I'm also not one hundred percent

1188
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 4: certain my ex won't let any of this slip out.

1189
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 4: The divorce wasn't smooth and there have been many fights

1190
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 4: over custody. My ex is also pretty llis of Alex

1191
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 4: as well my exes photos and videos of me and Tim,

1192
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 4: and I'm not sure he's above sending it to Alex.

1193
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 4: He hasn't yet, but he has threatened it when we fight, Like,

1194
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 4: but you didn't do anything.

1195
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 3: Wrong, this is just your past relationship update.

1196
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 4: So I told my fiance last night, Thank god, guys,

1197
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 4: why are we keeping things from our partner? Just tell

1198
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 4: him be transparent. That's what a relationship should be built on,

1199
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 4: trust and intimacy. Overall, he took it well, but he

1200
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 4: did have a lot of uncomfortable questions that I really

1201
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 4: didn't want to answer. But I decided that I was

1202
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,760
Speaker 4: done lying and hiding the truth, so I answered everything honestly.

1203
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 4: Alex had never really pressed me for a lot detail

1204
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 4: on what happened with my ex. I told him that

1205
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 4: I fell for another man I met and realized there

1206
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 4: was something wrong in my marriage. I told Alex that

1207
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 4: it was a mistake and I was ashamed of how

1208
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 4: I behaved, and he just left it that. So now

1209
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 4: he wanted the whole story and every detail. Alex was

1210
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 4: mostly interested in what I was thinking throughout the entire ordeal.

1211
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 4: He wanted to know what made me choose Tim and

1212
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 4: why he was the only one I ever had slept with.

1213
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 4: The answer to that was that I wanted it to

1214
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 4: be just one guy at a time for safety. We

1215
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 4: both talked with Tim for a little while before we

1216
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 4: decided to go with him. We also ran a background

1217
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 4: check just to be searching. This guy wasn't a felon.

1218
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 4: As for why I chose Tim, I didn't lie and

1219
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 4: said it was pure physical attraction. Tim's tall and fit,

1220
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 4: just a great body from top to bottom. He asked

1221
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 4: what about Tim made our time together so good. I

1222
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 4: told him there was really the taboo and the thrill

1223
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 4: that made it as good as I thought it was.

1224
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 4: I only learned that after I started dating Tim. The

1225
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 4: spicy sleep was still really good after we started officially dating,

1226
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,880
Speaker 4: but it wasn't the mind blowing experience it was initially over.

1227
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 4: Alex asked me if I was completely over Tim and

1228
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 4: if we still had any contact. Me and Tim haven't

1229
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 4: spoken in two years after he broke up. When we

1230
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 4: continued to have spicy sleep every now and then, when

1231
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 4: I met Alex, I stopped it. Tim would text me

1232
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 4: early in our relationship inviting me over for spicy sleep,

1233
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 4: which I always declined. I blocked him after he sent

1234
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 4: me a pick of his you know what, but I

1235
00:53:56,440 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 4: was sitting next to Alex. We haven't had any contact since.

1236
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 3: If you guys were officially together, you definitely should have

1237
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 3: told Alex like, hey, my exes keeps reaching out to me. Block. Yeah.

1238
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 4: Imagine if you're Alex and I am and you see

1239
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 4: uh an eggplant on someone's phone, on your partner's phone,

1240
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 4: and they go, I could explain, yeah.

1241
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 3: It's not what you think. No, I think I think

1242
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 3: you should always you know, if that's happening, because you

1243
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: didn't do anything, So just tell them, just be like, hey,

1244
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,239
Speaker 3: this happened. Just wanted to let you know I blocked them.

1245
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 4: Alex asked my feelings changed for my ex because I

1246
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:33,240
Speaker 4: had better spicy sleep with Tim, but that wasn't the case.

1247
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 4: It seems like Alex is getting a little insecure here.

1248
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 3: I think so at first, I was like to ask

1249
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 3: all of those questions for a past relationship.

1250
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 4: At first, I was like, oh, you know, he's curious,

1251
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 4: and it's like it's actually an interesting story of like yeah,

1252
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 4: but now it seems like it's more insecure.

1253
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 3: Probans Oh, why was Tim so good?

1254
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,280
Speaker 4: Yeah? What about his body? Like, what about the size

1255
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 4: of anything?

1256
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 2: Was good?

1257
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 3: Always better than mine? Yeah, that's what it feels like.

1258
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 3: And I think it's a little bit weird to ask

1259
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 3: that much pimation about a previous relationship.

1260
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 4: I mean, I get it, it's coming from insecurity, but

1261
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 4: it's just, yeah, it doesn't it doesn't create like a

1262
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 4: good file. The spicy sleep was bad with my ex

1263
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 4: because I was no longer attracted to him. I'm not

1264
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 4: sure I was ever very attracted to him. Actually, I

1265
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,799
Speaker 4: was fifteen when we met. He was older and gave

1266
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 4: me tons of compliments, told me how pretty I was.

1267
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 4: So we started dating, and I liked having a boyfriend,

1268
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 4: so we stayed together. I eventually got pregnant, so we

1269
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 4: got married. Tim just made me realize that I wasn't

1270
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 4: very attracted to my ex. So it wasn't like Tim

1271
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 4: was amazing. Yeah, it's just like the bar was already

1272
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 4: slightly better. Yeah, and I ultimately agreed to stop seeing

1273
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 4: Tim while we went to counseling, but my ex just

1274
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 4: couldn't get over that I wanted to keep seeing him.

1275
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 4: I admitted that I never really had good spicy sleep

1276
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 4: and was initially resistant to giving it up. I am

1277
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 4: ashamed of that, but agreeing to stop immediately wouldn't have

1278
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,320
Speaker 4: saved our marriage. My ex was very jealous by the point,

1279
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 4: obsessed really, and we were already fighting a lot. The

1280
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 4: marriage was dead from the very first time I had

1281
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 4: spicy sleep with another man, probably before, but definitely then.

1282
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 4: I don't know if it was that was the moment.

1283
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 3: Well, I think that was the moment that it'll be realized. Sure,

1284
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 3: I think the relationship was probably like kind of heading

1285
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 3: in that direction, but.

1286
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 4: Then like it gave experience, Yeah, and after having that

1287
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 4: reference point of like, oh oh, I can't go back. Yeh.

1288
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 4: The whole ordeal really did destroy my ex, and I

1289
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:26,760
Speaker 4: felt terrible about that. My ex initially wanted full custody

1290
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 4: and my daughter, but we settled on shared custody, thank god. Yeah,

1291
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 4: but eventually just stopped picking our daughter up. What's sad.

1292
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 3: That's terrible.

1293
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 4: He became unstable and I now have full custody. My

1294
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 4: ex doesn't see our daughter very much anymore. It's really sad.

1295
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 4: And although he isn't blameless in all this, it is

1296
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,919
Speaker 4: mostly my fault.

1297
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 3: I mean, he's the one who initially started the party

1298
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 3: of three talk.

1299
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:52,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he's the one who, after the fact, decided

1300
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 4: to stop seeing own daughter when he had all legal

1301
00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 4: right too. I'm not that person anymore, and I I'm

1302
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 4: really am ashamed of how I behaved. And if you

1303
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 4: just want to feel not ashamed, you should join us

1304
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 4: live on YouTube, but Facebook, TikTok Twitch every weekd at

1305
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:13,320
Speaker 4: three pm PST. Just tap our profile. Finally, Alex asked

1306
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,720
Speaker 4: if I was satisfied with our spicy sleep?

1307
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 3: Is the insecurities?

1308
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 4: Yeah? And if in the future, if things grew stale,

1309
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 4: would I want someone else? I told him that I'm

1310
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 4: more satisfied with our spicy sleep. I'm obsessed with Alex

1311
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 4: and insanely attracted to him. Who like, who wrote this

1312
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 4: about me?

1313
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 3: Now?

1314
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 4: I'm sure at some point when we get older, I

1315
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 4: spicy sleep may get a little stale. But there are

1316
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 4: ways to spice our spicy sleep without having spicy sleep

1317
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 4: with another guy. There's like at least two other options.

1318
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 4: My experience with that has permanently soured me on that

1319
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 4: type of thing. Alex did have a problem with my

1320
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 4: ex having the videos of me and Tim, but he

1321
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 4: doesn't know what to do about it. He also has

1322
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 4: no desire to see them good be interesting if he did,

1323
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 4: but I'm relieved about that too, So we are okay.

1324
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 4: And I just want to tell anyone that is considering

1325
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 4: something like this with their partner to really think it

1326
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 4: through before you get through with it. I learned that

1327
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 4: the hard way.

1328
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: I mean, any any sort of situation where you're bringing

1329
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 3: another party into your relationship should be talked about extensively

1330
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 3: and make sure that both parties are very enthusiastic about it.

1331
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 4: I think it's just like if you've only been and

1332
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 4: it only had any form of romantic or spicy experiences

1333
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 4: with one person, If you like bring in another, you're

1334
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 4: doubling that person's experiences and people that they've engaged with,

1335
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 4: and that kind of just opens up Pandora's box. I

1336
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 4: think there's, you know, opportunity, like there's ways that could work. Obviously,

1337
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 4: like it was doomed that you never were fully attracted

1338
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 4: to the first partner. But yeah, it's just tricky. And hey, y'all,

1339
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 4: it's John og Host here.

1340
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1341
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from As for more sponsors.

1342
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 3: My boyfriend is making me choose sides between him and

1343
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 3: his friend. She says he's a manipulator.

1344
00:58:58,280 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 2: He said, she said, okay, whatever.

1345
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 3: I understand why my boyfriend is upset, but I feel

1346
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 3: that how he reacted may have been too much. Maybe

1347
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 3: what I did warrants that. I hope you guys can

1348
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 3: give me some insight. By the way, this comes from

1349
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 3: Mammoth round fifteen seventeen on the Okay Storytime subvered it. So,

1350
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 3: my boyfriend twenty four male Sean, and I twenty three female,

1351
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 3: have been dating for almost six months now, but have

1352
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 3: known each other for almost a year. He had a

1353
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 3: best friend, who all call Riley. Him and Riley have

1354
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 3: known each other since high school, but only started becoming

1355
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 3: close platonically a year ago.

1356
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 4: Riley sounds pretty hot.

1357
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 3: There's never been anything romantic or spicy sleep between them.

1358
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 3: Their friendship is strictly platonic and has been stated to

1359
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:42,919
Speaker 3: be that multiple times on multiple occasions by the two

1360
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 3: of them. I believe them both. In hanging out with

1361
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 3: Riley Moore, I thought she was a cool person. We

1362
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 3: would all hang out a lot every other week, if

1363
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 3: not once a week. Me and her connected, and although

1364
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 3: we didn't talk much outside of group, interactions. We had

1365
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 3: our little friendships outside of my boyfriend. It's small, but

1366
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 3: I was looking forward to a grown going into something

1367
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 3: more and us becoming better friends. About a week ago,

1368
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 3: she texted my boyfriend saying that she wanted to end

1369
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 3: the friendship with him. This came out of nowhere, so

1370
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 3: we were both surprised. She called him a narcissist, manipulative,

1371
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 3: abum all of this stuff. She decided that the only

1372
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 3: reason she stayed friends with him for this long was

1373
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 3: because she felt bad for me and wanted to make

1374
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 3: sure I was okay and safe while dating him.

1375
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 2: No, h, soone's jealous here, callin yeah.

1376
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 3: I of course this hurts Sean, who up until now

1377
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 3: has never had a major fight or argument with his

1378
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 3: friend whatsoever. I texted her after she told him that

1379
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 3: for more context on what she was talking about and

1380
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 3: what that meant for my friendship with her. She informed

1381
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 3: me that I did nothing wrong and she still loves

1382
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 3: me and wants to be friends with me. But after

1383
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 3: a situation happened between him and another friend of hers

1384
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 3: before me and him started dating, it opened her eyes

1385
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 3: to how far he'll goo to manipulate people situations and feelings.

1386
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 3: She told me the same thing. She told him that

1387
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 3: the only reason she continued the friendship after that was

1388
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 3: because she got to know me and really liked me

1389
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 3: as a person. She started to feel protective over me

1390
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 3: being with him, and the friend he had a situation

1391
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 3: with told her to maintain the friendship with him as

1392
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 3: well because they both realized he was a narcissist. She

1393
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 3: feels uneasy about me being with him because she knows

1394
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 3: what kind of a destructive, manipulated person he is. After

1395
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,200
Speaker 3: all that, she apologized if any of that offended me

1396
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 3: because I am still dating him. But she's felt like

1397
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 3: this for a while and felt like she could tell

1398
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,920
Speaker 3: me now she still wants to be friends with me.

1399
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 3: Now that's a lot of information for me to take in.

1400
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, does she approve I'm curious? For example, he

1401
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,439
Speaker 4: is like yeah, I could see what you mean, or like, no,

1402
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 4: my boyfriend is the best guy. What you're saying is

1403
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 4: just wrong.

1404
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 3: I think what made it hard for me to dismiss

1405
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 3: her was because she's known him much longer than I have. Yes,

1406
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,440
Speaker 3: people change, but because of their strictly platonic friendship, there

1407
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 3: are things I feel like he's told her that are

1408
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 3: different than what he's told me someone he was trying

1409
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 3: to date and now dating. There's a difference between how

1410
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 3: you'll tell a friend something and hell you'll tell your

1411
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 3: partner slash someone you're trying to date something, if you

1412
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 3: can even tell them at all. And if this is

1413
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 3: her view of him, who am I to tell her

1414
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 3: she's wrong when she's seen him in a much different

1415
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 3: light than I have and not. A reason why it's

1416
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 3: hard for me to just cut things off with her

1417
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 3: is because we have our own bond outside of my boyfriend.

1418
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:19,360
Speaker 3: He was the one who introduced us, yes, but we

1419
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: made the decision to talk and get to know each

1420
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 3: other outside of him, so now we have our own relationship.

1421
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,160
Speaker 3: I'm confused about why it has to end just because

1422
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 3: she wanted to end the friendship with him. I understand disrespect,

1423
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 3: and I understand why my boyfriend would be hurt over

1424
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 3: my wanting to stay friends with her. The night that

1425
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 3: this happened, he essentially told me to choose sides between

1426
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 3: him and her, while also stating the same breath that

1427
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 3: he would still choose to be with me no matter what.

1428
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 3: I took a few days to think about it, and

1429
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:48,439
Speaker 3: I decided I wanted to keep my friendship with her.

1430
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 3: I don't know if it'll strengthen or remain a very casual,

1431
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 3: low maintenance friendship. But if I chose to cut her

1432
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 3: off and me and my boyfriend broke up down the line,

1433
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 3: I would regret having done that. It wasn't good. My

1434
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 3: boyfriend holds the belief that because she no longer respects

1435
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 3: Slash cares about him, she no longer respects Slash cares

1436
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,680
Speaker 3: about her relationship, as in, if I'm hanging out with her,

1437
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 3: she'll start trashing him to me.

1438
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 4: Oh, she's already done that. Well, it's disrespectful.

1439
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:12,040
Speaker 3: She's already done that.

1440
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I don't think she did that. She

1441
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 4: was just said, like, this is my perspective of him.

1442
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 4: For those reasons, I'm out. But it's not like herranting

1443
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 4: about him.

1444
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 3: I don't believe that's something she'll do for the following reasons.

1445
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 3: If she's done with him, why would she talk negatively

1446
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 3: about him to me, his girlfriend more than what's already

1447
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 3: been said. Why would she bring him up randomly in

1448
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 3: a conversation with me just to talk about him negatively?

1449
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 3: Knowing that I love him, I'm happy with him, and

1450
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 3: I already know how she feels about him based on

1451
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:40,480
Speaker 3: what I know about her. That just doesn't seem like

1452
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 3: something she'll do. I told my boyfriend the decision I

1453
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 3: came to, and he was hurt, as I expected him

1454
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 3: to be. But then he started calling me fake and

1455
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 3: saying how I never support him and I'm never there

1456
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 3: for him. I just do what I want to do,

1457
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 3: like always, I'm gonna be honest. That is what it

1458
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 3: feels like.

1459
01:03:55,840 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, because she was so willing to choose, like, yeah,

1460
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 4: she's so.

1461
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 3: Willing to be friends with someone who she's not really

1462
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,480
Speaker 3: close with at all. She said is a low maintenance friendship.

1463
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, that like totally has an awful view of her boyfriend, Yes,

1464
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 4: to the point of like accusations of being a terrible human.

1465
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna be friends with.

1466
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 4: Her anyway, like her experience is valid.

1467
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 3: But that's crazy. Again. Maybe Riley is telling the truth,

1468
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 3: in which case, sope he needs to make that decision.

1469
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 3: But you can't choose both of them.

1470
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 4: I feel like there's just a lot of context being

1471
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 4: left out.

1472
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 3: Well, we don't know. It just seems like he doesn't.

1473
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 4: Know seeing any of these things. It seems like she's

1474
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 4: Opie said that she didn't, but it's still open to

1475
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,400
Speaker 4: the fact that, like, he showed some of these behaviors

1476
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 4: before the relationship, But wouldn't that affect how you see him?

1477
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 3: I don't know. Again, I understand he's hurt. I'm not

1478
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 3: saying he's not allowed to be, but to say those

1479
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 3: things about me feels false when I've done a lot

1480
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 3: to help make him happy. A few examples, He's staying

1481
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 3: with me rent free and has been for the past

1482
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,919
Speaker 3: few months. The one time I asked for help with rerent,

1483
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 3: he didn't have it, so I let it go. He

1484
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 3: hasn't had a job for the past month, and there's

1485
01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 3: been no question about money from me. But still I

1486
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 3: let him use my car. He doesn't have one of

1487
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,200
Speaker 3: his own to go wherever he wants to go. Granted,

1488
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 3: he doesn't drive much without me, but the time he has,

1489
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 3: it's been no problem on my part with him barring

1490
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,840
Speaker 3: my car. He doesn't eat beef for pork because that's

1491
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 3: how he was raised, but I do. I've cut down

1492
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,240
Speaker 3: and eating beef and pork because I know he enjoys

1493
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,760
Speaker 3: eating the same meals with me and because he says

1494
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,920
Speaker 3: it makes my private smell slash tasty.

1495
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Dakota was telling me about this.

1496
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 3: I do remember to your boyfriend sucks.

1497
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 4: I mean, is there any truth, like biological truth in that?

1498
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 3: I don't know Riley is right now it seemingly like

1499
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 3: Riley is more right. So why are you staying with Sean?

1500
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? Get out of there.

1501
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 3: It's like you have to pick one side. You can't

1502
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 3: do middle grad this.

1503
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 2: This person doesn't have a job, I don't know if

1504
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 2: they're a job, doesn't have a car, and telling you

1505
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 2: how your thing smells whenever you eat something that's crazy.

1506
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 3: Leave him, leave him. None of these things are things

1507
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,920
Speaker 3: that I resent him for, but it did strike me

1508
01:05:55,960 --> 01:05:58,320
Speaker 3: the wrong way when he called me fake and claimed

1509
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 3: I don't care about him when there's so many examples

1510
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,800
Speaker 3: that proved the opposite. I also don't appreciate him asking

1511
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,960
Speaker 3: me to choose sides. Everyone in this situation is grown

1512
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:10,240
Speaker 3: and we can all make our own choices, especially if

1513
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:13,240
Speaker 3: he plans on staying with me regardless. Just because he

1514
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,680
Speaker 3: assumes the worst will happen by me staying friends with

1515
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 3: her doesn't mean it will. And it feels like he's

1516
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 3: not giving me the belief that if she did trash

1517
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:22,479
Speaker 3: talk him to me that I would defend him. Girl,

1518
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:27,080
Speaker 3: she already did. She already did. She called the manipulative,

1519
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:28,400
Speaker 3: a narcissist and a bum.

1520
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 4: But it was it wasn't ranting. It was more like,

1521
01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 4: here are my reasons.

1522
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 3: I'm out, that's still trash talking. If I went to

1523
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 3: Riley a Riley Yes, and said Alex is manipulative, a narcissist,

1524
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,720
Speaker 3: and a bum and you found that out, you're not

1525
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 3: telling me that's not trash.

1526
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 2: Talking, but Alex is saying. Alex is saying he already

1527
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 2: is a narcissist, a bum, and what was the other one?

1528
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:52,880
Speaker 3: A manipulator?

1529
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:55,480
Speaker 2: A manipulator. So he's like, oh, these are all truths.

1530
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:57,240
Speaker 2: Is that correct? That's what you're saying. You're saying these

1531
01:06:57,240 --> 01:07:00,440
Speaker 2: all truths, So thus who is truth? I'm just in

1532
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 2: this scenario, you you believe that Sean is a narcissist,

1533
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 2: is a manipulator, is a bomb. So like you're like, oh,

1534
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 2: that's not getting onto him or like insulting because it's true.

1535
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,400
Speaker 3: Why do I have to be stuck in the middle

1536
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 3: of it? I don't know any insight is greatly appreciated

1537
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:18,640
Speaker 3: by the way. We would greatly appreciate if you join

1538
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 3: us live every weekday on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok at

1539
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,040
Speaker 3: three pm PSD. Just tap her profile. Before me and

1540
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,920
Speaker 3: my boyfriend started dating, he had spicy sleep with his

1541
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:29,360
Speaker 3: friend's friend, Ginny.

1542
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:31,240
Speaker 4: We're getting more context.

1543
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:35,880
Speaker 3: That's n Ginny. Yes, it is with a G. Yep.

1544
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:39,840
Speaker 4: I've not read Harry Potter. The reason that I've been confused, yeah,

1545
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 4: is that I need more context. I don't know what

1546
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 4: the heck is going on right now, and we're about

1547
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,880
Speaker 4: to get We're about to get morends, That's what I'm saying.

1548
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:47,840
Speaker 3: Me and him were talking at this point, but not

1549
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 3: committed to each other, but everyone could tell he liked

1550
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 3: me more than any other flings he had in that

1551
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:55,439
Speaker 3: time period. Ginny had never met me before a few

1552
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:58,200
Speaker 3: days after they had spicy sleep, me and him, Ginny

1553
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,520
Speaker 3: and Riley went to a raved together. I had no

1554
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 3: idea that he had spicy sleep with Jenny. He hadn't

1555
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:08,040
Speaker 3: told me by this point, and Jenny had no idea

1556
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:10,800
Speaker 3: that he was steadily hooking up with me. Now, I

1557
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 3: got along with Genny because I get along with most

1558
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 3: people and she was really sweet. But Riley saw that

1559
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 3: as humiliating and disrespectful to both me and Jenny, and

1560
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 3: it really put into perspective for her what type of

1561
01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 3: person he is? Manipulative? That's the manipulative.

1562
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:28,000
Speaker 2: Also, I think Riley may have had some feelings for.

1563
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 3: Him, possibly, and she's like everyone else.

1564
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:32,400
Speaker 2: And she got her and now she's like, you can't

1565
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:35,040
Speaker 2: date no one can. He's weird. But she's right, She's right,

1566
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:35,479
Speaker 2: she's been her.

1567
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1568
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:39,040
Speaker 4: If that's the evidence for him being like a piece

1569
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 4: of crap and being manipulative, it seems like he did

1570
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:44,920
Speaker 4: not have clear agreements with any of these people. Yeah,

1571
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,799
Speaker 4: and was just not telling his business to these people,

1572
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 4: which I think is totally someone's volition.

1573
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:51,720
Speaker 3: No, I think so too, But I also think, like

1574
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,400
Speaker 3: I just think he's got to pick one. You can't.

1575
01:08:54,479 --> 01:08:56,080
Speaker 3: You can't choose both of those people.

1576
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know the logistics of it working when

1577
01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 4: you have you know, you're committed to a partner and

1578
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:05,320
Speaker 4: then a friend that you're hanging out regularly like hates

1579
01:09:05,360 --> 01:09:06,040
Speaker 4: your partner.

1580
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 3: Hates him and and told you and told him. But

1581
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,200
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story.