1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: Hi, Amber, Hi, Lolah, Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. Hello, 2 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,120 Speaker 1: my loves. I am freaking out today. I'm a little 3 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 1: bit nervous. I feel like I'm tweaking. I feel like 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: I've taken a hit of acid, and I'm a little 5 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: tired from the break. Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. Hello 6 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: Amber Childers, Hello Lola kan. I like, don't really know 7 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: how to do our intro quite yet. We'll figure it out, 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: we will, right, yes, yeah, because like the one like 9 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: give them Laala and untraditionally Laala, it's always like hello, gorgeous. 10 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 2: But obviously this is that makes me laugh. Ohh, she's 11 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: talking to. 12 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: Me, Hi, I am, I am talking to all of 13 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: you obviously. How are you feeling this morning? We shared 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: a bed last night. I know, I kept really happy. 15 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 3: I kept waking up and I was like, listening to 16 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 3: you breathing. I was like, oh my god, that's Lala 17 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 3: breathing next to me. And I would rather have you 18 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 3: lying next to you breathing than a man. 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: We talked about that before bed. We were laying in 20 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 1: bed watching twenty twenty. I was like, do you care 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: if I watch murder? It puts me to bed. She's like, 22 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: I love murder. I was like, it's so nice to 23 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: like not share a bed with a man. And you 24 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: talked about how you gave it like a test run 25 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: someonheen you were dating where you didn't share a bed. 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I did that this past year. And I was like, 27 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 3: you know what, I want to try something. You have 28 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: two rooms, I really would like to try sleeping on 29 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 3: my own. And he was like great, he loved the idea. 30 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 3: And then we tried, and it was he would come in, 31 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 3: we would like cuddle and we would do our thing, 32 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 3: and then he would. 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: Exit, do your thing. 34 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 3: Sex, Yeah, we would okay, we would bang, Okay, yeah, 35 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 3: we would bang each other and then he would he 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 3: would leave. 37 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 2: And he was actually really nice. 38 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 3: Right because I've gotten to a place in my life 39 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 3: where it's like, I like my routine. When I go 40 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 3: to bed, I want to, you know, turn on my 41 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 3: red light. I don't want to like be bothered. I 42 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 3: want to watch what I want to watch. And in 43 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 3: the morning, I want to meditate and I want to 44 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 3: pray and I want. 45 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 2: To like do whatever. 46 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 3: And sometimes that starts at like four o'clock and if 47 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 3: I'm if someone's laying next to me, I don't be interrupted, no, 48 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 3: and then I want them to be like where are 49 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 3: you on your knees praying? And like I want to 50 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,399 Speaker 3: pray out loud, and sometimes like I want to say 51 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 3: things that I just want it's between me and my 52 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 3: higher power. 53 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 2: Right, did that's start when you got sober? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: I have to do the whole meditation, and I'm not 55 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: great at doing this consistently. 56 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 2: But I had a moment. 57 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: A few days ago where I was I was dealing 58 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: with something and I was like, I need to go 59 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: outside and like take a moment, and I also have 60 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: to say things out loud because I don't know if 61 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: you've seen this meme, but it's like me and I 62 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: try to pray and it's someone with ad D and 63 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: you're like, start going, and then you think of a 64 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: million different things than you come back and you're like, sorry, God, 65 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: I'm back. 66 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 2: If I say so, if I don't talk out loud. 67 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: Yes, it's like we're going to be out here for 68 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: an hour just trying to get to the frickin' point 69 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: of like what I need to hear myself say and 70 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: set my intentions. And I feel that like between those 71 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: moments that I want, or waking up in the middle 72 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 1: of the night and being like, oh, I gotta have 73 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: friends on the TV to just like put me back 74 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: to bed the man snoring, because most of them do. 75 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: I want to be covered in oil head to toe. 76 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, I look like a walk when you could 77 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: definitely fry on though I have to say the older one. 78 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 2: No, the younger one, Oh, I use it. Older. I 79 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: was like, you're not going to sell me, Amber, You're 80 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 2: not going to sell me. 81 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: I would convert you. 82 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 2: No, you would actually be really proud of me. 83 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 3: I've actually been I've lowered my decade about ten years. 84 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 2: That makes me thrilled for you. 85 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 86 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a new me, babe. I'm coming out. Oh 87 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 2: my gosh, this is so great. Yeah. Yeah, you're too 88 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:06,119 Speaker 2: hot to be banging Geezers. I'm not banging Geezers. They're 89 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 2: pretty much dead. We've talked about. 90 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: This, so the last episode that we did, which was 91 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: untraditionally La La, where we were kind of talking about 92 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: what this podcast was going to be, like, I'm very 93 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: excited to be here. I'm so excited about an unlikely affair. 94 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: And again, this is about my experience and Amber's experience 95 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:35,799 Speaker 1: in life, what we've experienced with dating, motherhood. 96 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 2: Sex, bad sex, geezer sex. 97 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 3: You can't hold someone back from sharing their experiences because 98 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 3: for me personally, I'll speak for myself. My job realizing 99 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 3: coming into this new woman that I am, it's my 100 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 3: duty to be able to look at people who are 101 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 3: watching this fucking podcast and say, oh my god, I 102 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: thought I was alone. 103 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought. I've never that I. 104 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 3: Was the only one that experienced or by the way, 105 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 3: that's why I fell in love with acting, right, It's 106 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 3: a shared experience, just like I'm going to treat this 107 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 3: podcast like I would any character that I would step 108 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 3: into on film or television. Yeah, you have to love 109 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 3: them for their good, the good, the bad, the ugly, 110 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 3: the messy, in all of it. And so why and 111 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 3: I'm telling their stories, why wouldn't I tell mine? 112 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 113 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 2: Because my story is just as important. 114 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: Your story is the most important. Number it is the 115 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: most important. And if there's one thing that that I 116 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: want to teach my girls and that I want to remember, 117 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: is there will come a time in life where your 118 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: voice is all you fucking have, So use it because 119 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: no one can take that from me. You're true and 120 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 1: don't you exactly, and don't you dare let anyone try 121 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: to silence you. What you have to say is important, 122 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 1: and you will use your voice at all times for 123 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,840 Speaker 1: whatever cause, whatever reason. 124 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 3: It's just like the saying those who mind don't matter, 125 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 3: and those who matter don't mind. 126 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: I love that saying. Why do I feel like I've 127 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: heard this in a movie? 128 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: Because it's probably been in a movie a thousand times. 129 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: Why do I feel like I've heard you say this 130 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 2: in a movie? This is a movie. 131 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 3: Okay, Wait, so there's something that I want to talk 132 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,239 Speaker 3: about in address because in the last episode of Untraditionally Lola, Yeah. 133 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 2: Speaking of our experiences. 134 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's start from the beginning. Oh Jesus, shall we Yeah, 135 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 3: I said I've seen all of you. I laughed, and 136 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: I made a joke that I've seen all of you 137 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 3: the front of the back, inside, it outside, And Jesus, 138 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 3: I don't want to get into the details because the 139 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 3: details aren't important. What matters to me is that moment 140 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 3: that really shaped me in my life. Right, I knew 141 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 3: you guys were together, I knew the affair was happening. 142 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: I don't know for well. 143 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: I wish it would have given me a call. You 144 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: know what, it wouldn't have mattered. 145 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have heard no, because remember when I hear anybody. 146 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: Remember when you and I first sat down at the 147 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 3: sushi place and I was like, I'm not a jealous 148 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 3: ex wife. 149 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 2: I think you asked me to lunch. 150 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 3: We were trying to like make the relationships we want 151 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 3: to show at the Glenn Yes, and it was very sweet. 152 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 3: You brought me a present. I'll never forget that. It 153 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 3: was so cute. And I said to you, I said, 154 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 3: I'm not mad, right like I'm I'm okay with this, 155 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 3: Like I've moved on. Anyways, going back to the tape, 156 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 3: at that point, I had known I had been tracking 157 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 3: probably for like at least four or five months. 158 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: Where were the rumblings coming from for you? Because I 159 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: remember when it came up on vander Pump. Katie Maloney 160 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: had been at a barbecue and there was a guy 161 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: there who was an actor, and his wife had said 162 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: to Katie, Oh. 163 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 2: You're on that show with that La La girl. 164 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: You know she is with Blank And that's when Katie 165 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I have confirmation. Do you know how 166 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: hard I tried to get my to get all of 167 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: my things wiped on IMDb. 168 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, take it off. You won't have anything left? Great? Yeah, yeah, great, 169 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 2: I'll start fresh. How about that Us Christ? 170 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, So I had known for a while. 171 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 3: I didn't say anything because at that point, this was 172 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 3: not the first rodeo for me. So every time you 173 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 3: get a little bit smarter, you get a little more like, Okay, 174 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 3: this is happening, I need to Like. It was all 175 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 3: mostly through Instagram at this point. Right from my experience 176 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 3: and from what I've read and learned through my own healing, 177 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 3: is that you get really good with following addicts and 178 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 3: their patterns. Yeah, and it became like a calendar, like 179 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 3: it was a clockwork for me. And and by the way, 180 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 3: it's unhealthy. That was like I was in such a 181 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 3: spiral because I was so desperate to save my marriage. 182 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you were also a baby. It doesn't matter. 183 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: It was like, I does matter, That does matter. You 184 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: were a child, amber you met him in your teens. 185 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: You became a first time mom when you were what 186 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one. 187 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 2: Twenty one, That is a baby. Yeah, yeah, you had a. 188 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 3: Moment though you don't you don't think I grew up 189 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 3: Mormon no Mormon. That's like a huge that in itself 190 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 3: is like a foundation of Like you get married at 191 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 3: like you know twenty by the way you. 192 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: Go, and you marry a good Mormon missionary, like you're 193 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 1: both on the same page. You you did not have 194 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: the mental capacity to endure what you had just signed 195 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: up for. 196 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 3: I had no idea what I was signing up for. 197 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 3: I had no idea because that's how good. 198 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 2: The mask was. 199 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: And the fact that you can go out and still 200 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: believe in love and let men enter your life. 201 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 2: Shows you how fucked up by him. 202 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: No, it actually no, it shows your resilience, and I 203 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: think you need to give yourself credit for that. You know, 204 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: I have stayed in a place for many years of 205 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: fear and being completely guarded, and you know, I see 206 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: one tiny little thing that I don't like, and I'm like, oh, 207 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: this person's a horrible human. I can't It's like PTSD, 208 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,559 Speaker 1: and I have it in so many areas. 209 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 2: It happens when I deal with therapists. 210 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, you are trying to rob me blind and 211 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: manipulate me. 212 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:50,559 Speaker 2: Yeah. 213 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 1: So no, I think that you should look at that 214 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,719 Speaker 1: as your bounce back is fucking incredible. 215 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 2: Thank you, You're welcome. Yeah, I guess it is. It's 216 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 2: very much so. 217 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just wanted to like roll into the next thing, 218 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 3: but I wanted to pause and take that moment. So 219 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 3: in that moment that night with the tape, with the tape, yeah, 220 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 3: I didn't know who was calling in the middle of 221 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 3: the night, and I looked at the tape and I'd 222 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 3: seen it, and my whole life kind of just stopped. 223 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 2: And it wasn't about what I was seeing in front 224 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 2: of me. 225 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 3: It was more of like I had completely realized that 226 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 3: I had abandoned myself forever, right, And it wasn't that 227 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 3: I didn't know how to set boundaries, because I think 228 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 3: when we learned boundaries when we were like two, right, 229 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 3: when someone pushes you down on the playground, you're like, no, 230 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 3: that's not nice, or no, I don't want that to eat. 231 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 3: Like I think, as humans, we instinctly know what boundaries are. 232 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 3: But when your safety and you're well and who you 233 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 3: are as a person is threatened, you forget those boundaries, right, 234 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 3: You put aside the boundaries. 235 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 2: Because for me, that dysfunction was going on for so 236 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 2: many years. 237 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 3: That that felt safe, like leaving never felt safe. That 238 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 3: was like a threat to everything that I had established, right, 239 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 3: and I'll never forget after that tape, after seeing what 240 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 3: I saw, it was like I awoke in that moment 241 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 3: and I was like, if you don't leave, you're going 242 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 3: to die, because I really did. 243 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 2: I wanted to die. 244 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 3: I felt so trapped in that relationship that I didn't 245 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 3: And it's so hard for some people to explain. They're 246 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 3: just like, you, dumb bitch, just leave. 247 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 1: But those people, it's like, oh, so you have the 248 00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: luxury of never experiencing something like this. 249 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 2: Mm, thank you, I'm envious of you. Yeah. 250 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 3: I mean I tell people I stayed because of my kids. 251 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: I didn't want my girls to grow up from with 252 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 3: a broken home. I didn't know what that experience was like, 253 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 3: and I didn't want that. And in that moment I realized, 254 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I gotta get out. 255 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 2: This is it. 256 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 3: It's either I have to save myself for my kids, 257 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 3: right and myself, because if I'm not here and kids don't, 258 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 3: they don't breathe. They don't breathe the oxygen of the house. 259 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: I think they truly breathe the oxygen of the mother. 260 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 2: And I was half dead. I really felt like I 261 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 2: was half dead. 262 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 3: I was I was taking pills to numb my feelings, 263 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 3: to just to suppress all that shit that I was 264 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: feeling inside because I didn't know what to do with it, 265 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 3: right Like I had no outlet. My only outlet was 266 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 3: acting at that point. Right I couldn't like, Hey, call 267 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,959 Speaker 3: up my sister and say hey, this is what happened 268 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 3: this week or this month or you. 269 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 2: Know, so thank you for what. 270 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 3: For the one calling that night, because if you hadn't called, 271 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 3: I think God was doing for me what I couldn't 272 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 3: do for myself, and using you know, through you, because 273 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 3: I couldn't, I would have never left. 274 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: I think about that all the time. There were so 275 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,559 Speaker 1: many moments amber that I would and I remember vividly 276 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 1: you saying like I don't want you needed me to 277 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: know that I saved you, and I didn't understand what 278 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: you meant until I experienced it. 279 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting how you get so caught up on 280 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 3: the betrayal for me anyways, of what happened and what 281 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 3: they're doing to betray the commitment or the marriage or 282 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 3: whatever relationship you're in, And then you look in the 283 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 3: mirror and you're like, oh, The only betrayal that is 284 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 3: going on is between me and myself. I've completely abandoned 285 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 3: myself to this person. 286 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: Well, you get comfortable every time someone is unhappy and 287 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: they don't want to leave, and no one understands why. 288 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, because when that is your norm, you become 289 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: comfortable in it. 290 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't see outside of it talking about leaving. 291 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 2: It's like, but my comfort zone. I'm used to this. 292 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 2: I'm used to this feeling. It's my norm. Yeah. 293 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 3: For me, it was denial, like once you stop lying 294 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 3: to yourself. Yeah yeah, it like literally, by the way, 295 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 3: abilitating seeing that tape, it wasn't like I was like 296 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: staring at this By the way, you look great in 297 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 3: the tape. Uh, by like like looking at this tape, 298 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 3: it wasn't seeming like the acts that were going on. 299 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 3: I saw my life flash before me, like I saw everything. 300 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know what I mean. It's 301 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 2: does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. 302 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 3: You're like looking at something, but you're not looking at 303 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 3: something like your your brain is showing you a different 304 00:15:50,160 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 3: like reel of what's happening in your life. Yeah. Wait, 305 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 3: I think you should share what you shared with me 306 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 3: the other day when we were at lunch, do you remember, No, 307 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 3: tell me you don't remember. When we were sitting with 308 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 3: we talked. I know, we were sitting with the Emma 309 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 3: and you're like, hey, I need to share something with you. 310 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 3: And I was like mid taco bite and you're like, oh. 311 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 2: Let's talk about that. I love that you brought that up. Yeah, 312 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 2: and then you gave such a sorry, I have something 313 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 2: to tell you. 314 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: I know. 315 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 2: Oh, I know, Okay. I used to wait you. 316 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 3: But but this is a good segue because you talk 317 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 3: about not having sex, you were sex. 318 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: Wasn't having sex, No, And I never stepped out either, 319 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: Like once I knew that you guys were like divorced 320 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: and all the things. Because when he was giving me 321 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: the back and forth about you guys being separated and 322 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: I was being labeled a homewrecker, I was like, condoms on, 323 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: pussy's out, buddy, I'm out in these streets having the 324 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: best time. 325 00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 2: Okay. 326 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, But once it was like we're divorced, you had 327 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: moved on, you found a new guy, and like you know, 328 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 1: I had met your kids. I was very much like, 329 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: I did not sleep around at all. Yeah, but once 330 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: I stopped really sleeping with him. You're pregnant, it is 331 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: very pregnant. Yeah, And I was so horny when I 332 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: was pregnant. 333 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: It was like that it was bad. Oh my god. 334 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 1: I would like look at the corner of things and 335 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: be like, if I could just launch myself just right 336 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: on that we have. But I remember I would go 337 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 1: into the closet. It was like the only area where 338 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: there wasn't like I would find an area where it 339 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 1: like wasn't a direct camera on me, and I would 340 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: think of you and masturbate. 341 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 2: In the closet. Uhh, I fucking love that. Do you 342 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 2: know how a story that brings me? Tell them what 343 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 2: you match? You were like, I'll match. 344 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 3: You were sitting at lunching and you told me this, 345 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 3: and I was like, you were it was so cute. 346 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 3: You're like, oh my god, I a cannotlive I'm going 347 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 3: to say that. So when you said, I was like, 348 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 3: what THEU? I couldn't believe that came out of your mouth. 349 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 3: And then I was like, okay, well I also have 350 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 3: something to confess. When we were still like in and 351 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 3: out of the same house, we were nesting, and but 352 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 3: you were also in the house at the same time. 353 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 2: What a fucking chaotic mess. 354 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 3: I went to into the bathroom, to one of the 355 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 3: girl's bathroom to get something, and they were playing with 356 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 3: your hair extensions and I obviously knew they were yours, 357 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: and I was like, so, I was still so angry. 358 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 2: I was so mad. I was like, I'm gonna fucking 359 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 2: steal these. 360 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 3: And I took your hair extensions and I was like. 361 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 2: I still have them right now. No, I don't know myself. 362 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 2: And I was like I could use them, but you 363 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 2: let you. You're like that's all you got. And I 364 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 2: was like, I was like, you took my hair extensions. 365 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 2: Wooh Amber, big fucking wood. Ah. That was hysterical. That 366 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 2: was great. Were they blonde? Do you remember? 367 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:07,640 Speaker 1: Uh? 368 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 3: No, they probably met your color now yeah, yeah, if 369 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 3: you have my level bag burnette, I don't know. 370 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 2: Look, i'll send you a picture when I get back 371 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 2: to Montana. Okay. 372 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 1: With all of that talk of like how we're bonded 373 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: and God's plan, I will call it. This was always 374 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 1: God's plan. How do you feel going into this next year? Ugh? 375 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 2: Uh, that's how I feel. H so good. 376 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: How does it differ from other years that you've gone into? 377 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,879 Speaker 3: You know, this year I never set an intention. I 378 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,239 Speaker 3: didn't journal, I didn't like, I didn't make any New 379 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 3: Year's resolutions. 380 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, screw that. I'm done. Like, 381 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,719 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna just go for it. 382 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 3: If something comes up and I have an idea or 383 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 3: I want to change something about myself, I'm not going 384 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 3: to write about it. 385 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna freaking do it. Like I'm just. 386 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 3: I'm I'm not going to keep doing what I've done 387 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 3: the year's past, Okay, And I literally I told you 388 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 3: this morning when we were drinking coffee. I said, I 389 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 3: woke up on like December twenty eighth a completely different person. 390 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: Wow. 391 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 3: I just felt like my body from like a cellular 392 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 3: perspective has completely changed. I also deleted all my dating apps. 393 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 3: That's a big deal for you. And you almost had 394 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,959 Speaker 3: a moment of weakness last night. She's like, I almost 395 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 3: re downloaded hinge. I was like, it's because you're bored. 396 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: As I'm grabbing chips after I've had a huge dinner, 397 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, am I just eating because I'm bored? No? 398 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,360 Speaker 3: And I'm glad you said that because you called me out. 399 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, you're right, I'm bored. 400 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,159 Speaker 2: I don't. 401 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 3: I'm done with the dating apps. I'm over them, and 402 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 3: I'm not saying that they're all that they're bad. I 403 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 3: think I have a lot of the reason why I 404 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 3: got all them because I have a lot of friends 405 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 3: who've met some great men and they ended up getting 406 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 3: married and they have great relationships. But for me, it 407 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 3: was just like Rya was a fucking joke. 408 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 2: Yeah you said it was like Penn Palace, you know, right. 409 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 3: Like a terrible hinge was decent, never been on tender, 410 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,199 Speaker 3: never been on I have been on bumble, but it 411 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 3: was like, oh, Montana, you like want to stay away 412 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:19,719 Speaker 3: from bumble. I just want to meet someone organically, And honestly, 413 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,719 Speaker 3: I'm like not, I'm not driven by by that. I 414 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 3: know that that my higher power will like bring my 415 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 3: person when the time is right. And for me, it's 416 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 3: like I'm just focusing on my kids, my work, my sobriety, 417 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 3: and myself. 418 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: That's it. I love this. For you, Yeah, what about you? 419 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 2: How do you feel? I felt different going into this year. 420 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: This is one of the greatest holidays that I've had 421 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: since I can remember. We ended up staying in la 422 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: for Christmas and leaving Christmas night to go to Palm 423 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,120 Speaker 1: Springs and we literally got back a couple days ago, 424 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: and it was it was just very much much needed 425 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: and I felt very present. I went on a tangent 426 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 1: about elf on a shelf and then deleted my Instagram. 427 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 2: I wasn't I didn't delete it because. 428 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: I was so unhinged about the Elf on the shelf, 429 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,359 Speaker 1: because I actually had a heyday doing that content. But 430 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: I was like, there's no reason for me to be 431 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: on Instagram right now. I want to take a break. 432 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: And it was so nice because i'd pick up my phone, 433 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: I'd be like, there's nothing on here that matters. Like 434 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: it just it felt different. I felt a level of 435 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 1: peace going into this year that I. 436 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 2: Don't feel normally. 437 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: Usually I go in to a new year and I 438 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 1: am just anxiety riddled and thinking about all of the 439 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: moves that I need to make. And this year, it 440 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: was like, I'm not worried about the moves that need 441 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: to be made, because we're just gonna make them. 442 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 2: What's wrong, Yeah, that's why are you crying. 443 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 3: I'm just having this moment. I'm just having a moment 444 00:22:52,640 --> 00:23:01,159 Speaker 3: of like I can't believe we're here. I really can't. 445 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 3: It's just like so much. I'm crying not because I'm sad. 446 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 3: I'm crying because I have so much gratitude. 447 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: Oh Amber, Yeah, I love you very much. 448 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 2: You are a massive rock in my life. 449 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: I keep a very tight circle and I don't trust easily, 450 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 1: and I feel like we just have something very unspoken 451 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: that we're now speaking about. 452 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 2: And I've had. 453 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: Many people tell me to get over it, and I 454 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,439 Speaker 1: You're the one person where I can vent to you 455 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 1: about so many things and you can just understand that 456 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: certain things are just not that easy not to get over. 457 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 2: And I think this is the year. 458 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: Where you and I are experiencing just a lot of 459 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: hope and healing. 460 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a lot, a lot. 461 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 3: And I had that moment last night too, when Ocean 462 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,199 Speaker 3: was in the bed together with us and we were 463 00:23:59,240 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 3: watching our show. 464 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I literally was like. 465 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 3: This beautiful child who my children love unconditionally and I love, 466 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 3: and like is has brought all of us together? Yeah, 467 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 3: And like if that's not a gift from God, then 468 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 3: like wow, I know. 469 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 2: Wow. 470 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: These are the moments that for anyone who's experiencing where 471 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: you feel like you're in the middle of the ocean 472 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 1: and there's like no one in sight where you say, 473 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,680 Speaker 1: at some point this is going to make sense, because 474 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 1: I remember being in the thick of it and just 475 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,360 Speaker 1: being debilitated in like a robot and feeling like I 476 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 1: have to make money and pay bills and I have 477 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 1: to fight for my child, and I was on autopilot 478 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: and like why how did this happen? And then you 479 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: get to a place sitting on this couch and you're like, oh, 480 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 1: this was the plan the whole time. 481 00:24:58,359 --> 00:24:59,919 Speaker 2: It all makes so much sense. 482 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 3: Everything always works out the way it's supposed to. Yeah, 483 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 3: And so I think that, like you were saying, for 484 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,920 Speaker 3: anyone out there that's going through it or has been 485 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,439 Speaker 3: through it, or you know has a friend or family 486 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 3: member going through it, it just it's like saying those 487 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 3: things is like. 488 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 2: I'm safe and everything is going to work out the 489 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 2: way it's supposed to. 490 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it, And you just have to find like 491 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,199 Speaker 3: your higher power, whatever that is is. It have to 492 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 3: be God, it could be anything that's greater than yourself, 493 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 3: and just know that, like there's light at the end 494 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 3: of the. 495 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 2: Tunnel always always. Yeah. 496 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: Oh, what a beautiful way to end this episode. You guys, 497 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: thank you so much for tuning in to our new podcast. 498 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this first episode. We're gonna have 499 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,200 Speaker 1: the heyday of our lives. This is an unlikely affair 500 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: with l Lakent and Amberg Childers. We're going to catch 501 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 1: you next week.