WEBVTT - Fangirling with Remi Bader 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:05.480 Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala. Hey, 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:09.000 gorge it's La La Kent. Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala. 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.720 I am so excited. I've been wanting you on the 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:16.440 podcast for so long. I have Remy Bader Hello, Hello, Hello. 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:20.680 We did this. We did this a long time ago, 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:22.520 but it was we didn't meet. We didn't know. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:26.120 It was like, no, and have we met in person? 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:26.960 Yeah? 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:29.760 Yeah, but it was years ago, Babe. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:32.120 I'm wondering if we even did. You know when you 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:33.800 like think you do, like when you think you have 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:36.159 they met you in New York. I don't know. Now 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:38.199 I'm like thinking maybe not, but I feel like I 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:39.320 know you. I don't know, maybe we did. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:40.080 I feel like I know. 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:41.480 I feel like I've known you for a long time. 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:44.879 See, but that's what happens because we follow each other 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:47.400 on social media and I feel like I know everything 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:49.279 about your life. But I want to give you an 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:54.080 epic intro. Okay, she is a content creator. She's a model, 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:58.480 entrepreneur and advocate known for sparking a cultural shift towards 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:03.160 greater inclusivity and fashion. You first rose to prominence with 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:07.560 your viral like realistic halls. Yes, that's when I first 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:09.039 was like, okay, I'm. 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:09.960 Obsessed with this girl. 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:10.440 Thank you. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.680 How you would show like these itty bitty clothes and 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.360 then you'd go to like H and. 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:16.600 M yeah or Zara. 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:20.160 I would try on the clothes that didn't fit me 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:23.560 and kind of call out in a humorous way that 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:26.399 the brands are not inclusive, which ended up working in 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:27.240 my favor because then I. 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.640 Started working with the brands to make them more inclusive, 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:31.880 which I never thought would happen. 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:33.679 It's so amazing. 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.880 But also there were looks that you would put on, 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:40.759 and I feel like you would also inspire all different 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.199 body types, like this could work for you, right. 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.039 It wasn't all bad, Like I would show the bad 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:47.440 and the good, but I just felt like everyone was 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:50.400 always only showing the good, and I'm like, there's clearly 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:52.200 things that don't fit us a lot of the time. 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:54.360 Why is no one putting that online? I do feel 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:55.279 like at. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.200 That time, I was kind of the person who brought that, 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:01.240 I guess onto TikTok because I didn't do I really 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:05.760 didn't follow influencers or like much YouTube in Instagram ever, 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:07.520 and then TikTok came to be and then I just 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.160 that's where I started doing it, where it kind of 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:12.000 like blew up very quickly. So you started on TikTok 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.080 on TikTok during COVID, and. 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:16.560 Did you do you have a YouTube channel? 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:19.400 I don't. I do, and I moved it. 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:22.080 I mean, like I do real so I do TikTok 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:25.560 Instagram and I'm now like Snapchat, which I started more recently. 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.000 I always said I wanted to start a YouTube, and like, 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.240 I just feel like I'm almost like too late to 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.640 the game. I mean, you're never too late, but like 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.120 I don't know, I get what you mean. I asked 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:38.040 a few YouTube friends of mine that are like, it's 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:40.760 kind of like, I don't think you ever missed the market. 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.000 A lot of people are like, oh, should I start 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:43.799 on TikTok now, Like, I don't know, it's too late. 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:45.400 It's oversaturated, but you never know. 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:47.119 Do you think that it's too late. 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:48.359 I don't think it's too late. 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:50.760 I just think it's an oversaturated space and you really 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.600 need to do something that no one's doing, which is 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:53.320 hard to do. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.040 Like I feel like when I started, it was. 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.480 So many Like I like, there just wasn't as many people, 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:01.600 and I start it even what I thought was late 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.280 because I didn't go on TikTok or have a TikTok 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.200 like when everyone was like dancing on TikTok and home 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:07.280 at in twenty twenty. 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:09.560 It was more towards the end. 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.560 I think it was like October twenty twenty, but it 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.800 really blew up January twenty twenty one, so it like 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:17.720 was not in the beginning of COVID or anything. 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.560 How many followers do you have on TikTok. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:21.200 TikTok I have like. 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:25.520 Two point two million, and then Instagram I have like 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.440 eight hundred something thousand, So like I started a year 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:30.840 later because people were like afraid and still are for 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:34.000 to do reels, you know, because like Instagram's was always 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:39.440 like perfection photos. But yeah, I definitely grew from reels. 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.640 It's interesting that I didn't grow. I don't think you 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:45.040 like grow from having a TikTok, like maybe a little bit, 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.600 but it's very different followings. Like a lot of people 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.320 on TikTok are anti Instagram and literally will not go 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.360 over there and seeing the other way around. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:56.800 So I'm I'm newer to TikTok yeah, and the things 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.800 that I post, I just post my kids basically because 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:03.520 I and but also when I post. If I were 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.080 to post the bitch video of ocean on Instagram, I 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:10.480 think I'd be mom shamed, whereas TikTok wait. 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.040 You didn't post it at all, and there you have 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.040 to because I have one. We should test it out 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:18.719 to see because screw people, whatever they say. But you 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:20.440 have to post that as a real It's the best 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:21.479 video on the Internet. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.680 It's really good and I was sitting on it for 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:26.760 so long. You guys, Oh my god, No. 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:30.760 It's it's just the every like it's just so you 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:32.800 can't make that up, like the way she did that. 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:35.599 It's just the funniest thing ever. 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:37.719 And the chances of Mom walking in while you're dropping 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:38.240 the bitch. 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:40.200 Way, yeah, like that's just crazy, not. 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:40.960 Cool, funny. 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:44.120 You are also a mental health advocate using your platform 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:46.240 to share your experiences. 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:50.000 And then you founded fangirl, Yes, which I have one 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.359 for you. Shut up, I have one for you. I 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:52.880 brought it. 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:55.080 Wait, okay, so fangirl, you guys. 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.960 It is a clip on fan and ring lights you 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:00.440 can have like this Ultimate Beyonce the. 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.800 New Brown one that just came out. Wait, it's the 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.640 packaging is so cheap, thank you. So so it's a fit. 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.040 It's a I started because I'm just like the sweatiest 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.520 girl ever. And I was going to all of these 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:13.760 red carpets and these events, and I was like so 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:15.320 embarrassed how much I was sweating. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:16.880 And I was like, whatever, I'm just going to bring 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:17.800 a fan. I don't care. 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.120 But I just started kept promoting like these random fans 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:22.480 that I would take around, and I'm like, why am 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:23.920 I not making my own I kind of thought it 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:27.080 would be a joke, but my followers were excited about it. 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:30.039 And then now this was the first summer that I 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.760 really was selling. 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.360 It, and I sold like ten thousand. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.160 It's so jillious idea. 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.600 Now I'm gonna, you know, do some more with it. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:43.560 These belong in like Target, Yeah, like I well anywhere, No, Yeah, 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:45.080 I think that's that would be the goal. 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:46.960 Like now that I have like sales to prove, like 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.720 I want to get it into bigger places. 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.120 Right now, you could get it on Amazon and. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.159 Revolve Amaze, Oh you can get it on Revolve. 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:55.920 Yeah, Revolve. It is just I think one that's just 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:57.159 like exclusive to Revolve. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:02.760 And then I like dropped different colors for on Amazon, 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:04.800 and then this summer I did like a few that 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.279 were just in the Hamptons, like at Surflage and stuff. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.600 So like it's like a fun thing turning into a business. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.080 How old are you, I'm thirty. 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.000 I'm so impressed with what you've done by the age 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:16.520 of thirty. 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:17.839 Thank you so much. 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:21.680 And you've been through a lot, like obviously on the. 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.080 Business side of things, and you, you know, taking a 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.880 chance doing something different on TikTok and watching your following 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:32.520 grow branding and those opportunities get larger you doing this. 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:37.479 You also have edited by Remy Yes, that's a collection 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:38.400 a Sam's Club. 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:39.679 A collection at Sam's Club. 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:44.760 It now it's shifted over to edited by Hunter McGrady, 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:47.960 so like I picked someone with them that would kind 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:49.880 of take the next thing over. It goes up to 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.039 a six X, which I feel like no one is 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.320 doing anymore, not no one, but like barely a lot 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:57.120 of places in the past year or two have dropped 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:57.920 plus sizes. 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:02.279 So this actually did with my father. Wow, he is. 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.680 In the DNA industry. We want to do something for 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:07.400 a long time. I think at the end of the day, 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.840 I wouldn't. I think it's better, which I told I 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.360 was open about that, Like, I don't think I would 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.680 work with family again after that because I feel like 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:18.840 it was affecting our relationship in not a good way 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.680 and it was just better to end it there. So 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.000 I did two drops with them. It did super well. 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.680 But now Hunter's taking over, so it's edited by Hunter 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:31.800 and then there'll be someone else to take the next one, 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:32.760 so it's. 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.239 Doing super well. It was on one hundred Sam's Clubs 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:36.880 and now this year it went up to two hundred 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.920 Sam's Clubs, So it's very unheard of these days to 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:43.800 have any sort of plus sizes in store. Yeah, if 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:46.600 anyone gets out online, and they're even dropping it online 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:49.840 these days too, just because just because so many people 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:53.200 in the past year or two lost weight, they're taking 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:55.600 away plus sizes completely at all these places, which I 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:56.600 don't think is fair. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.520 Do you think that people are dropping the weight since 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:03.640 the g what is it called the GLGLP one. 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:04.960 I think that's what. 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.880 Kind of started it, But I don't really get how 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.920 that then just turns into like, oh, this gives us 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:14.400 a reason, like there's so many plusized people still out 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.080 there so it's like, I still you know, my body 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:20.840 has changed so much since I've fluctuated gained loss weight 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:25.440 many times since I started in twenty twenty online, But 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:28.200 no matter what, from before I was online to now, 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:31.160 I still have the same I still feel very passionate 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:32.839 that everyone should be able to get the same clothes 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:34.679 no matter what size they are, and that's not going 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:35.480 to change. 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:40.880 So it's very hard because you are now making a 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:44.520 living off of people watching you and they want to 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:47.280 know what you like, what you're going through. They're now 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.360 invested in you as a person. It's kind of not 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:54.400 kind of it has gone well beyond you just trying 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:58.959 on clothing, yeah and calling out brands. Yeah, you went 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:02.520 through a massive breakup, right, which. 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:06.840 I always remember you reaching out and you were wait, 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:08.040 was it the breakup or. 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.440 The I reached out to you about Maybe it was. 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.760 Yeah, we spoke, we were sending voice notes to each other, 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:18.559 But no, I always appreciated that, Yes, my breakup was 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:21.360 like very public because I showed that person in my 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:26.480 life publicly, even though they weren't like in the public eye. 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.800 So everyone wants an you know, that is like fels 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.880 like they're owdin answer which I understand to a point 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:36.960 of that, but then that led to obviously I opened 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.480 up about losing weight and having a surgery, and then 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:45.040 that too, a lot of people felt entitled to knowing 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:49.120 every detail about that, which I think just from getting 0:09:49.280 --> 0:09:52.560 so much hate when I got a lot bigger, and 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.320 people just seeing how horrible the internet could be, like 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.320 the disgusting things people would say about my weight. I 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.880 just decided that I wanted to start keeping a lot 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:03.000 of my health journey to myself after that, because I 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:06.400 was like, this isn't fair. You guys, don't I'm not 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:08.320 giving this to you anymore. 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:09.760 Right, It's too sacred for me to give to you, 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.360 And they don't. You have to go to bed with 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:15.080 yourself at night. And I think when you start seeing 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.560 the same thing over and over again, we start to 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.679 believe what people say about us, and before you know it, 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:22.280 you look in the mirror and you're like, who am I? 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:23.960 What do I believe in? What do I want out 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:29.199 of life? Because you start buying into this fiction that 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.600 the audience knows you better than you know. 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:32.400 Your hundred percent. 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.240 Yeah, so you got a lot of heat when you 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:37.319 would gain weight, but you got. 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:39.360 A lot of heat as well. I lost it when 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:40.280 you lost it. 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.920 Because I think that was the first time, well I 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:44.600 think that's what people thought it was the first time 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:46.400 that I wasn't sharing things, But it was really a 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:50.160 ye over a year of me not sharing personal things 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:51.120 and not sharing things. 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:51.760 About my health. 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.680 But I do think I have such a close relationship 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:56.760 with a lot of my followers in a way that 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.600 I like answer them respond all the time. I do 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.840 give a or always did give personal details about my life, 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.880 so they felt I owed every moment and thought about 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.080 that health decision I made where I needed to for 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.040 my mental health keep a lot of that to myself. 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.280 Do you feel comfortable sharing when the moment was where 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:26.439 you said I'm going to have surgery? 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:28.760 Yes, that was when. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.120 That was when I was getting all that really bad 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.439 haye and made a video crying online that I can't 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.439 do this anymore in terms of sharing my health journey. 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.000 I'm not giving this to you guys anymore. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.600 And I would say it was like around that the 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.640 next few days where I was like if I had 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.520 no follower, if followers didn't exist, if my family didn't exist, 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.200 in anyone in my life that had an opinion on 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:51.559 my way. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.520 What would I do? And that's kind of when I 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.240 made that decision, like by myself. 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.040 And was your family receptive to it? 0:11:58.360 --> 0:11:59.920 Yeah, I kept them a little separate to that. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:01.760 To it, I was like, I'm doing this and I 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.600 don't really want to hear your opinion because I had 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.720 a lot of like issues with weight with my parents 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.880 growing up, like them telling me to lose weight all 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.880 the time. So I was like, this isn't a part 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:12.600 of I don't want you a part of the decision. 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.880 I'm just letting you know I'm doing this, okay, but 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.000 I didn't want I was with my boyfriend at the 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.760 time and like I just at the. 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:22.679 Time you made the decision, yes. 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:24.400 Who also had a lot to say about my weight 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.080 at the time. So I just was like, I don't 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.040 want anyone's opinion here, like this is for me, no 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:29.559 one else. 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.200 Was he against it? 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.720 No, he was like he was like do what He 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:37.920 was very much like he was supportive during that time 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:40.040 of like do what makes you happy, But everyone close 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:42.360 to me in my life was very much like pushing 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:46.120 me to lose weight. Okay, but I think for the 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.599 wrong reasons, Like I think I had like at the 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:49.880 end of the day, I did what I did for 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.040 my health and for me, Like I was just like 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:59.280 really didn't want anyone else's opinions in the way. Actually 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.360 at that time, now that I think of it, too, 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.480 he didn't say anything about my weight till after I 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:09.800 made the surgery decision. He was very like supportive, just 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:13.400 without saying anything, like very quiet. Okay, so it wasn't 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:17.720 until later on, but like I've always and my sister 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.760 also like never said anything. 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:24.040 But like I just knew people were more. I knew 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:24.760 that people. 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:27.800 Were like concerned, but I felt like the concern from 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.360 followers was more of like a hate being mean concerned, 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.760 You're just getting bigger. We're like my family friends, like 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:35.679 people in my life closer, like knew I. 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.480 Was having actual health issues. Right. 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:39.600 I want to make a point that this was like 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.000 a personal decision for my health. But like I will 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:46.080 never change my mindset, like I said on advocating for 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:50.080 size inclusivity. But again, I kind of always thought body 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.360 positivity was a little bit toxic in a way of 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.360 always saying you need to love your body twenty four 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.920 to seven. I never believed that I never spoke about 0:13:57.920 --> 0:13:59.120 that or anything. 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.920 Well, I think it's very unreal too, because no matter 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.320 what you look like, what size you happen to be 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.920 at at that point in time, you know, you're always 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.640 your worst critic and you're always going to have something 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.400 that you wish you could fix or change. Lose weight 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:17.560 in some places, gain weight in others. And I understand 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.280 where you're coming from where that's not not a label 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.960 that you put on yourself. But society makes it very 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:26.400 difficult to just be. They want to put you in 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.440 a box, they want to know what to do with you. 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:32.160 Everyone belongs in a box. I remember season six of 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.200 vander Pump Rules. You know, I was very much like 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:38.800 I preferred women. I had been through a lot, and 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:42.840 everyone was like, oh, she's like a newfound feminist and 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.720 she's she's a girl's girl, and I'm like, I don't 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.800 want these labels. This puts a target on my back 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.520 because any move that I made beyond what you have 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.800 labeled me, you're gonna try to hit that target. 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:55.760 And I just don't want it. 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.600 Don't even have a choice, Like you literally don't have 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:00.080 a choice, Like what if what for you change just 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.040 because you've been doing this for a while, Like when 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:05.000 you were on TV, Like what changed from that that 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:06.720 people labeled you a few years later? 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.600 Because I feel like you people can. 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:12.320 You can get. People don't want you to evolve. 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.480 People want you to stay the same person that you've 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.840 always been. And if years down the line, you do 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.160 something that doesn't add up to what you did a 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.600 few years back, you're a hypocrite. I reserve the right 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.440 to evolve. I reserve the right to make myself. 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:28.000 Change and grow. How old were you when you started 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:28.920 on vander Pump. 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:31.960 I think the first season aired when I was twenty five, 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:33.160 so I think I was twenty. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.360 Four ten Are you open about your age now? 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.560 Yeah, I'm thirty five now, So like, imagine you didn't 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.760 change in ten years, Like that would be insane, It 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.920 would be insane, And like, I think that yet to 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.120 the core, I'm the same person. But if I started 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:49.440 at twenty five and now I'm thirty, it would be 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.000 really sad if I didn't change and. 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:52.720 Grow in ways. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:56.520 And it's very interesting that people online, when you're you're online, 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.800 you like no longer are a person to people, You're 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.640 like the character or something, and it's like you changed 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:07.440 becomes this insult and it's like wait, I should change. 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:08.960 Yeah, and so should you. 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.280 You should also be changing the people who are commenting 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:14.840 who have the luxury of sitting behind a keyboard with 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.520 you know, two hundred followers that are just their close 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:21.400 friends and family. Right, So you are in a very 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:26.000 delicate situation when you decide to open up for people 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.800 to relate to you, because then the floodgates are open 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:30.840 for people who relate to you and also want to 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.280 bring you down to the pits of hell. 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:33.720 Right. 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.760 I want to know in all of this and your 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.320 your health journey and this guy that you were with that. 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.720 You pretty much you know, you were living together. 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.240 He basically like lived at my apartment. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.120 Yeah, right, you guys had a lot of videos together. 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.400 Would you say that he was like one of your 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:53.960 great loves that just didn't work out? 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:56.120 That was my only boyfriend I've ever had. 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:57.960 Okay, so you go through these. 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:01.080 Two monumental things only human I've ever like loved, So 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:04.680 like that's all I have to like compare to or anything. Yeah, 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.680 And that was at the same time that breakup was 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.399 during this whole post, the surgery got like I got 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.320 very sick for like I would say, like two months, 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.520 like I couldn't eat, couldn't drink. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.000 I kind of I was. 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.040 In a lot of regret from the surgery, like I 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:21.400 didn't know how it was going to be. And that's 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.040 also why I didn't open up about it. I was like, 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:24.520 I don't know if I just made a huge mistake. 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.280 So I got in a you know, a big depression 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:28.880 that was all the same time. 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:29.560 As the breakup. 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.160 Like the breakup was like basically during all of this happening, 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.720 so like it was, Yeah, definitely a very interesting time 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.800 where like I was trying, I was like, do I 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:41.640 open up about some things not others? 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.159