Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala. Hey,
Speaker 1: gorge it's La La Kent. Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala.
Speaker 1: I am so excited. I've been wanting you on the
Speaker 1: podcast for so long. I have Remy Bader Hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2: We did this. We did this a long time ago,
Speaker 2: but it was we didn't meet. We didn't know.
Speaker 3: It was like, no, and have we met in person?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was years ago, Babe.
Speaker 4: I'm wondering if we even did. You know when you
Speaker 4: like think you do, like when you think you have
Speaker 4: they met you in New York. I don't know. Now
Speaker 4: I'm like thinking maybe not, but I feel like I
Speaker 4: know you. I don't know, maybe we did.
Speaker 3: I feel like I know.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've known you for a long time.
Speaker 1: See, but that's what happens because we follow each other
Speaker 1: on social media and I feel like I know everything
Speaker 1: about your life. But I want to give you an
Speaker 1: epic intro. Okay, she is a content creator. She's a model,
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and advocate known for sparking a cultural shift towards
Speaker 1: greater inclusivity and fashion. You first rose to prominence with
Speaker 1: your viral like realistic halls. Yes, that's when I first
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I'm.
Speaker 3: Obsessed with this girl.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: How you would show like these itty bitty clothes and
Speaker 3: then you'd go to like H and.
Speaker 2: M yeah or Zara.
Speaker 4: I would try on the clothes that didn't fit me
Speaker 4: and kind of call out in a humorous way that
Speaker 4: the brands are not inclusive, which ended up working in
Speaker 4: my favor because then I.
Speaker 2: Started working with the brands to make them more inclusive,
Speaker 2: which I never thought would happen.
Speaker 3: It's so amazing.
Speaker 1: But also there were looks that you would put on,
Speaker 1: and I feel like you would also inspire all different
Speaker 1: body types, like this could work for you, right.
Speaker 4: It wasn't all bad, Like I would show the bad
Speaker 4: and the good, but I just felt like everyone was
Speaker 4: always only showing the good, and I'm like, there's clearly
Speaker 4: things that don't fit us a lot of the time.
Speaker 2: Why is no one putting that online? I do feel
Speaker 2: like at.
Speaker 4: That time, I was kind of the person who brought that,
Speaker 4: I guess onto TikTok because I didn't do I really
Speaker 4: didn't follow influencers or like much YouTube in Instagram ever,
Speaker 4: and then TikTok came to be and then I just
Speaker 4: that's where I started doing it, where it kind of
Speaker 4: like blew up very quickly. So you started on TikTok
Speaker 4: on TikTok during COVID, and.
Speaker 3: Did you do you have a YouTube channel?
Speaker 2: I don't. I do, and I moved it.
Speaker 4: I mean, like I do real so I do TikTok
Speaker 4: Instagram and I'm now like Snapchat, which I started more recently.
Speaker 4: I always said I wanted to start a YouTube, and like,
Speaker 4: I just feel like I'm almost like too late to
Speaker 4: the game. I mean, you're never too late, but like
Speaker 4: I don't know, I get what you mean. I asked
Speaker 4: a few YouTube friends of mine that are like, it's
Speaker 4: kind of like, I don't think you ever missed the market.
Speaker 4: A lot of people are like, oh, should I start
Speaker 4: on TikTok now, Like, I don't know, it's too late.
Speaker 2: It's oversaturated, but you never know.
Speaker 3: Do you think that it's too late.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's too late.
Speaker 4: I just think it's an oversaturated space and you really
Speaker 4: need to do something that no one's doing, which is
Speaker 4: hard to do.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like when I started, it was.
Speaker 4: So many Like I like, there just wasn't as many people,
Speaker 4: and I start it even what I thought was late
Speaker 4: because I didn't go on TikTok or have a TikTok
Speaker 4: like when everyone was like dancing on TikTok and home
Speaker 4: at in twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: It was more towards the end.
Speaker 4: I think it was like October twenty twenty, but it
Speaker 4: really blew up January twenty twenty one, so it like
Speaker 4: was not in the beginning of COVID or anything.
Speaker 3: How many followers do you have on TikTok.
Speaker 2: TikTok I have like.
Speaker 4: Two point two million, and then Instagram I have like
Speaker 4: eight hundred something thousand, So like I started a year
Speaker 4: later because people were like afraid and still are for
Speaker 4: to do reels, you know, because like Instagram's was always
Speaker 4: like perfection photos. But yeah, I definitely grew from reels.
Speaker 4: It's interesting that I didn't grow. I don't think you
Speaker 4: like grow from having a TikTok, like maybe a little bit,
Speaker 4: but it's very different followings. Like a lot of people
Speaker 4: on TikTok are anti Instagram and literally will not go
Speaker 4: over there and seeing the other way around.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm newer to TikTok yeah, and the things
Speaker 1: that I post, I just post my kids basically because
Speaker 1: I and but also when I post. If I were
Speaker 1: to post the bitch video of ocean on Instagram, I
Speaker 1: think I'd be mom shamed, whereas TikTok wait.
Speaker 4: You didn't post it at all, and there you have
Speaker 4: to because I have one. We should test it out
Speaker 4: to see because screw people, whatever they say. But you
Speaker 4: have to post that as a real It's the best
Speaker 4: video on the Internet.
Speaker 3: It's really good and I was sitting on it for
Speaker 3: so long. You guys, Oh my god, No.
Speaker 4: It's it's just the every like it's just so you
Speaker 4: can't make that up, like the way she did that.
Speaker 4: It's just the funniest thing ever.
Speaker 3: And the chances of Mom walking in while you're dropping
Speaker 3: the bitch.
Speaker 2: Way, yeah, like that's just crazy, not.
Speaker 3: Cool, funny.
Speaker 1: You are also a mental health advocate using your platform
Speaker 1: to share your experiences.
Speaker 4: And then you founded fangirl, Yes, which I have one
Speaker 4: for you. Shut up, I have one for you. I
Speaker 4: brought it.
Speaker 3: Wait, okay, so fangirl, you guys.
Speaker 1: It is a clip on fan and ring lights you
Speaker 1: can have like this Ultimate Beyonce the.
Speaker 4: New Brown one that just came out. Wait, it's the
Speaker 4: packaging is so cheap, thank you. So so it's a fit.
Speaker 4: It's a I started because I'm just like the sweatiest
Speaker 4: girl ever. And I was going to all of these
Speaker 4: red carpets and these events, and I was like so
Speaker 4: embarrassed how much I was sweating.
Speaker 2: And I was like, whatever, I'm just going to bring
Speaker 2: a fan. I don't care.
Speaker 4: But I just started kept promoting like these random fans
Speaker 4: that I would take around, and I'm like, why am
Speaker 4: I not making my own I kind of thought it
Speaker 4: would be a joke, but my followers were excited about it.
Speaker 4: And then now this was the first summer that I
Speaker 4: really was selling.
Speaker 2: It, and I sold like ten thousand.
Speaker 3: It's so jillious idea.
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna, you know, do some more with it.
Speaker 1: These belong in like Target, Yeah, like I well anywhere, No, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's that would be the goal.
Speaker 4: Like now that I have like sales to prove, like
Speaker 4: I want to get it into bigger places.
Speaker 2: Right now, you could get it on Amazon and.
Speaker 3: Revolve Amaze, Oh you can get it on Revolve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Revolve. It is just I think one that's just
Speaker 2: like exclusive to Revolve.
Speaker 4: And then I like dropped different colors for on Amazon,
Speaker 4: and then this summer I did like a few that
Speaker 4: were just in the Hamptons, like at Surflage and stuff.
Speaker 4: So like it's like a fun thing turning into a business.
Speaker 4: How old are you, I'm thirty.
Speaker 1: I'm so impressed with what you've done by the age
Speaker 1: of thirty.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: And you've been through a lot, like obviously on the.
Speaker 1: Business side of things, and you, you know, taking a
Speaker 1: chance doing something different on TikTok and watching your following
Speaker 1: grow branding and those opportunities get larger you doing this.
Speaker 1: You also have edited by Remy Yes, that's a collection
Speaker 1: a Sam's Club.
Speaker 2: A collection at Sam's Club.
Speaker 4: It now it's shifted over to edited by Hunter McGrady,
Speaker 4: so like I picked someone with them that would kind
Speaker 4: of take the next thing over. It goes up to
Speaker 4: a six X, which I feel like no one is
Speaker 4: doing anymore, not no one, but like barely a lot
Speaker 4: of places in the past year or two have dropped
Speaker 4: plus sizes.
Speaker 2: So this actually did with my father. Wow, he is.
Speaker 4: In the DNA industry. We want to do something for
Speaker 4: a long time. I think at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: I wouldn't. I think it's better, which I told I
Speaker 4: was open about that, Like, I don't think I would
Speaker 4: work with family again after that because I feel like
Speaker 4: it was affecting our relationship in not a good way
Speaker 4: and it was just better to end it there. So
Speaker 4: I did two drops with them. It did super well.
Speaker 4: But now Hunter's taking over, so it's edited by Hunter
Speaker 4: and then there'll be someone else to take the next one,
Speaker 4: so it's.
Speaker 2: Doing super well. It was on one hundred Sam's Clubs
Speaker 2: and now this year it went up to two hundred
Speaker 2: Sam's Clubs, So it's very unheard of these days to
Speaker 2: have any sort of plus sizes in store. Yeah, if
Speaker 2: anyone gets out online, and they're even dropping it online
Speaker 2: these days too, just because just because so many people
Speaker 2: in the past year or two lost weight, they're taking
Speaker 2: away plus sizes completely at all these places, which I
Speaker 2: don't think is fair.
Speaker 3: Do you think that people are dropping the weight since
Speaker 3: the g what is it called the GLGLP one.
Speaker 2: I think that's what.
Speaker 4: Kind of started it, But I don't really get how
Speaker 4: that then just turns into like, oh, this gives us
Speaker 4: a reason, like there's so many plusized people still out
Speaker 4: there so it's like, I still you know, my body
Speaker 4: has changed so much since I've fluctuated gained loss weight
Speaker 4: many times since I started in twenty twenty online, But
Speaker 4: no matter what, from before I was online to now,
Speaker 4: I still have the same I still feel very passionate
Speaker 4: that everyone should be able to get the same clothes
Speaker 4: no matter what size they are, and that's not going
Speaker 4: to change.
Speaker 1: So it's very hard because you are now making a
Speaker 1: living off of people watching you and they want to
Speaker 1: know what you like, what you're going through. They're now
Speaker 1: invested in you as a person. It's kind of not
Speaker 1: kind of it has gone well beyond you just trying
Speaker 1: on clothing, yeah and calling out brands. Yeah, you went
Speaker 1: through a massive breakup, right, which.
Speaker 4: I always remember you reaching out and you were wait,
Speaker 4: was it the breakup or.
Speaker 3: The I reached out to you about Maybe it was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we spoke, we were sending voice notes to each other,
Speaker 4: But no, I always appreciated that, Yes, my breakup was
Speaker 4: like very public because I showed that person in my
Speaker 4: life publicly, even though they weren't like in the public eye.
Speaker 4: So everyone wants an you know, that is like fels
Speaker 4: like they're owdin answer which I understand to a point
Speaker 4: of that, but then that led to obviously I opened
Speaker 4: up about losing weight and having a surgery, and then
Speaker 4: that too, a lot of people felt entitled to knowing
Speaker 4: every detail about that, which I think just from getting
Speaker 4: so much hate when I got a lot bigger, and
Speaker 4: people just seeing how horrible the internet could be, like
Speaker 4: the disgusting things people would say about my weight. I
Speaker 4: just decided that I wanted to start keeping a lot
Speaker 4: of my health journey to myself after that, because I
Speaker 4: was like, this isn't fair. You guys, don't I'm not
Speaker 4: giving this to you anymore.
Speaker 1: Right, It's too sacred for me to give to you,
Speaker 1: And they don't. You have to go to bed with
Speaker 1: yourself at night. And I think when you start seeing
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over again, we start to
Speaker 1: believe what people say about us, and before you know it,
Speaker 1: you look in the mirror and you're like, who am I?
Speaker 1: What do I believe in? What do I want out
Speaker 1: of life? Because you start buying into this fiction that
Speaker 1: the audience knows you better than you know.
Speaker 2: Your hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you got a lot of heat when you
Speaker 1: would gain weight, but you got.
Speaker 3: A lot of heat as well. I lost it when
Speaker 3: you lost it.
Speaker 4: Because I think that was the first time, well I
Speaker 4: think that's what people thought it was the first time
Speaker 4: that I wasn't sharing things, But it was really a
Speaker 4: ye over a year of me not sharing personal things
Speaker 4: and not sharing things.
Speaker 2: About my health.
Speaker 4: But I do think I have such a close relationship
Speaker 4: with a lot of my followers in a way that
Speaker 4: I like answer them respond all the time. I do
Speaker 4: give a or always did give personal details about my life,
Speaker 4: so they felt I owed every moment and thought about
Speaker 4: that health decision I made where I needed to for
Speaker 4: my mental health keep a lot of that to myself.
Speaker 1: Do you feel comfortable sharing when the moment was where
Speaker 1: you said I'm going to have surgery?
Speaker 2: Yes, that was when.
Speaker 4: That was when I was getting all that really bad
Speaker 4: haye and made a video crying online that I can't
Speaker 4: do this anymore in terms of sharing my health journey.
Speaker 2: I'm not giving this to you guys anymore.
Speaker 4: And I would say it was like around that the
Speaker 4: next few days where I was like if I had
Speaker 4: no follower, if followers didn't exist, if my family didn't exist,
Speaker 4: in anyone in my life that had an opinion on
Speaker 4: my way.
Speaker 2: What would I do? And that's kind of when I
Speaker 2: made that decision, like by myself.
Speaker 3: And was your family receptive to it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I kept them a little separate to that.
Speaker 4: To it, I was like, I'm doing this and I
Speaker 4: don't really want to hear your opinion because I had
Speaker 4: a lot of like issues with weight with my parents
Speaker 4: growing up, like them telling me to lose weight all
Speaker 4: the time. So I was like, this isn't a part
Speaker 4: of I don't want you a part of the decision.
Speaker 4: I'm just letting you know I'm doing this, okay, but
Speaker 4: I didn't want I was with my boyfriend at the
Speaker 4: time and like I just at the.
Speaker 3: Time you made the decision, yes.
Speaker 4: Who also had a lot to say about my weight
Speaker 4: at the time. So I just was like, I don't
Speaker 4: want anyone's opinion here, like this is for me, no
Speaker 4: one else.
Speaker 3: Was he against it?
Speaker 4: No, he was like he was like do what He
Speaker 4: was very much like he was supportive during that time
Speaker 4: of like do what makes you happy, But everyone close
Speaker 4: to me in my life was very much like pushing
Speaker 4: me to lose weight. Okay, but I think for the
Speaker 4: wrong reasons, Like I think I had like at the
Speaker 4: end of the day, I did what I did for
Speaker 4: my health and for me, Like I was just like
Speaker 4: really didn't want anyone else's opinions in the way. Actually
Speaker 4: at that time, now that I think of it, too,
Speaker 4: he didn't say anything about my weight till after I
Speaker 4: made the surgery decision. He was very like supportive, just
Speaker 4: without saying anything, like very quiet. Okay, so it wasn't
Speaker 4: until later on, but like I've always and my sister
Speaker 4: also like never said anything.
Speaker 2: But like I just knew people were more. I knew
Speaker 2: that people.
Speaker 4: Were like concerned, but I felt like the concern from
Speaker 4: followers was more of like a hate being mean concerned,
Speaker 4: You're just getting bigger. We're like my family friends, like
Speaker 4: people in my life closer, like knew I.
Speaker 2: Was having actual health issues. Right.
Speaker 4: I want to make a point that this was like
Speaker 4: a personal decision for my health. But like I will
Speaker 4: never change my mindset, like I said on advocating for
Speaker 4: size inclusivity. But again, I kind of always thought body
Speaker 4: positivity was a little bit toxic in a way of
Speaker 4: always saying you need to love your body twenty four
Speaker 4: to seven. I never believed that I never spoke about
Speaker 4: that or anything.
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's very unreal too, because no matter
Speaker 1: what you look like, what size you happen to be
Speaker 1: at at that point in time, you know, you're always
Speaker 1: your worst critic and you're always going to have something
Speaker 1: that you wish you could fix or change. Lose weight
Speaker 1: in some places, gain weight in others. And I understand
Speaker 1: where you're coming from where that's not not a label
Speaker 1: that you put on yourself. But society makes it very
Speaker 1: difficult to just be. They want to put you in
Speaker 1: a box, they want to know what to do with you.
Speaker 1: Everyone belongs in a box. I remember season six of
Speaker 1: vander Pump Rules. You know, I was very much like
Speaker 1: I preferred women. I had been through a lot, and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, oh, she's like a newfound feminist and
Speaker 1: she's she's a girl's girl, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: want these labels. This puts a target on my back
Speaker 1: because any move that I made beyond what you have
Speaker 1: labeled me, you're gonna try to hit that target.
Speaker 3: And I just don't want it.
Speaker 4: Don't even have a choice, Like you literally don't have
Speaker 4: a choice, Like what if what for you change just
Speaker 4: because you've been doing this for a while, Like when
Speaker 4: you were on TV, Like what changed from that that
Speaker 4: people labeled you a few years later?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like you people can.
Speaker 3: You can get. People don't want you to evolve.
Speaker 1: People want you to stay the same person that you've
Speaker 1: always been. And if years down the line, you do
Speaker 1: something that doesn't add up to what you did a
Speaker 1: few years back, you're a hypocrite. I reserve the right
Speaker 1: to evolve. I reserve the right to make myself.
Speaker 2: Change and grow. How old were you when you started
Speaker 2: on vander Pump.
Speaker 1: I think the first season aired when I was twenty five,
Speaker 1: so I think I was twenty.
Speaker 2: Four ten Are you open about your age now?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm thirty five now, So like, imagine you didn't
Speaker 4: change in ten years, Like that would be insane, It
Speaker 4: would be insane, And like, I think that yet to
Speaker 4: the core, I'm the same person. But if I started
Speaker 4: at twenty five and now I'm thirty, it would be
Speaker 4: really sad if I didn't change and.
Speaker 2: Grow in ways.
Speaker 4: And it's very interesting that people online, when you're you're online,
Speaker 4: you like no longer are a person to people, You're
Speaker 4: like the character or something, and it's like you changed
Speaker 4: becomes this insult and it's like wait, I should change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so should you.
Speaker 1: You should also be changing the people who are commenting
Speaker 1: who have the luxury of sitting behind a keyboard with
Speaker 1: you know, two hundred followers that are just their close
Speaker 1: friends and family. Right, So you are in a very
Speaker 1: delicate situation when you decide to open up for people
Speaker 1: to relate to you, because then the floodgates are open
Speaker 1: for people who relate to you and also want to
Speaker 1: bring you down to the pits of hell.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: I want to know in all of this and your
Speaker 1: your health journey and this guy that you were with that.
Speaker 3: You pretty much you know, you were living together.
Speaker 2: He basically like lived at my apartment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, you guys had a lot of videos together.
Speaker 1: Would you say that he was like one of your
Speaker 1: great loves that just didn't work out?
Speaker 2: That was my only boyfriend I've ever had.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you go through these.
Speaker 4: Two monumental things only human I've ever like loved, So
Speaker 4: like that's all I have to like compare to or anything. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And that was at the same time that breakup was
Speaker 4: during this whole post, the surgery got like I got
Speaker 4: very sick for like I would say, like two months,
Speaker 4: like I couldn't eat, couldn't drink.
Speaker 2: I kind of I was.
Speaker 4: In a lot of regret from the surgery, like I
Speaker 4: didn't know how it was going to be. And that's
Speaker 4: also why I didn't open up about it. I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know if I just made a huge mistake.
Speaker 4: So I got in a you know, a big depression
Speaker 4: that was all the same time.
Speaker 2: As the breakup.
Speaker 4: Like the breakup was like basically during all of this happening,
Speaker 4: so like it was, Yeah, definitely a very interesting time
Speaker 4: where like I was trying, I was like, do I
Speaker 4: open up about some things not others?
Speaker 2: It was very confused, a confusing time for me.
Speaker 1: Did these two things happening at once make you someone
Speaker 1: who goes, I know exactly what I want and don't
Speaker 1: want here the red flags, here the green flags. Do
Speaker 1: you feel like you're more focused on what you want
Speaker 1: in life?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: More focused because I had nothing to compare to, and
Speaker 4: I definitely let a lot of things like slide or
Speaker 4: thinking back to the beginning, like was just letting maybe
Speaker 4: if that has started now with someone else, I'd be like, no,
Speaker 4: you know really so like I just yes the answers,
Speaker 4: but I don't know exactly what I want.
Speaker 2: I can't picture that person.
Speaker 4: I don't know what I want definitely, Like in terms
Speaker 4: of everyone always sets me, especially lately because I talk
Speaker 4: about my dating more openly or like just meeting people,
Speaker 4: and everyone's like, what's your type?
Speaker 2: What's your type?
Speaker 4: Like I literally don't have a type in terms of
Speaker 4: like physical or anything. Like I love funny people and
Speaker 4: someone that gets my humor and is funny, but like,
Speaker 4: and there are obviously other things in terms of like
Speaker 4: being super motivated. I do think I want someone that's
Speaker 4: not in my career path, like some something different and
Speaker 4: very passionate.
Speaker 3: About their own thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have so many different career paths though, Like
Speaker 1: you're you're a content creator, but you're also like a creator.
Speaker 4: I don't think I want someone that's a content creator
Speaker 4: putting themselves online. But okay, but I can't. I'm not
Speaker 4: anti Like I'm not anti anything. Like again, that was
Speaker 4: my only experience. So I have like written down in
Speaker 4: my phone things of like red flags now to look
Speaker 4: out for, but also like things I would want in someone,
Speaker 4: but I still don't know, Like I have no idea
Speaker 4: who that person is.
Speaker 2: Or what they're going to bring to me or what
Speaker 2: they're going to do for a living. So I just
Speaker 2: don't know. I also am not like I would say that.
Speaker 4: My followers probably think I'm like actively looking because I
Speaker 4: talk about it so much, But I'm not looking for
Speaker 4: a boyfriend at the moment.
Speaker 2: I'm dating so that I can experience. I've never dated.
Speaker 4: I probably got on five dates in my life, not
Speaker 4: like with dates like dates with people, because like obviously
Speaker 4: me and my boyfriend would go on dates, but like
Speaker 4: never like I didn't go on a date for two
Speaker 4: and a half years when date with him he became
Speaker 4: my boyfriend. Wow, I never dated, So like I'm just
Speaker 4: more like, Okay, I'm thirty.
Speaker 2: I mean, no rush. My mom had me at thirty nine.
Speaker 4: Both my parents had My dad had two marriages before
Speaker 4: my mom had one. Then they are not pushing me
Speaker 4: in any way where I feel like a lot of
Speaker 4: my friends that are single right now like their parents
Speaker 4: are pushing them to be My parents are like, have fun,
Speaker 4: and I just want a date to experience and learn
Speaker 4: what I want and don't want.
Speaker 3: I think that's the only way to do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think a lot of other people are
Speaker 4: like I mean a lot of my really close friends
Speaker 4: that are single right now are like literally going in
Speaker 4: six states a week being like I need to find
Speaker 4: this person now, like.
Speaker 3: A they on the apps? Yeah, how do you meet people?
Speaker 4: I'm on the apps. I'm on like Bumble and Hinge.
Speaker 4: Raya has not let me on ever, like they just
Speaker 4: won't no clue.
Speaker 1: I've heard Raya is only like there's little actual meetups.
Speaker 1: You just like develop a pen pal sort of relationship.
Speaker 1: So I don't know that you're wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't but.
Speaker 4: I yeah, like sometime, and I don't want a freaking
Speaker 4: pen pal, like I feel like that always ends up happening.
Speaker 4: When I'm like talking to people, I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I don't like talking to someone I don't know, Like
Speaker 4: that's why this summer, like when I was out, that
Speaker 4: was my first time even practicing, like meeting someone at
Speaker 4: a bar and going up to them, which I did
Speaker 4: a good job at.
Speaker 2: But I was like.
Speaker 4: Out and drinking and partying like I was out the
Speaker 4: other day and I was like sober and which I
Speaker 4: could talk to anyone sober, like I've never an issue,
Speaker 4: But it was very shocking to me in terms of
Speaker 4: dating and like men, I was like, I made my
Speaker 4: friend do it.
Speaker 2: Like for me, I was like, I can't. I'm like,
Speaker 2: who am I?
Speaker 4: Like, I'm literally very outgoing, can talk to a wall,
Speaker 4: and I'm like in terms of guys, I like didn't
Speaker 4: know how to. So that's my next step is like,
Speaker 4: how do I go up to and flirt with men
Speaker 4: without alcohol? Because that's not ever what I needed in
Speaker 4: my life in terms of being social and I don't
Speaker 4: need that now. But I just thought that was interesting.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my god, I'm like a nervous flirter.
Speaker 4: I think that's totally normal.
Speaker 1: You know, I had never been single sober, and now
Speaker 1: obviously that's what I am. And it is you start
Speaker 1: having an out of body experience where you're like watching
Speaker 1: yourself make this move to talk to this guy and
Speaker 1: the like, I literally had had sex for the first
Speaker 1: time sober. This was like a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: and it was fucking awesome. Have you had sober sex before?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 3: Are you open to like one night stance? I never
Speaker 3: had one before?
Speaker 4: Yes, Like, and like this was a more recent thing
Speaker 4: because I again like I but like and I shouldn't
Speaker 4: feel this way, but like now I feel like it mean,
Speaker 4: I like, I don't care what people say, Like women
Speaker 4: like when you have sex with someone, don't you like
Speaker 4: release a hormone that makes you look attached to that person?
Speaker 1: It's I think that that's just yeah, most women. I
Speaker 1: think any woman that goes like no, I don't get attached.
Speaker 3: I could fuck it. However, like I rather.
Speaker 4: Still talk to that person. I don't need to date them.
Speaker 4: But it's funny because I said so many times to
Speaker 4: my followers, even like a few months ago, I'm just like,
Speaker 4: why can't I just hook up with I'm gonna have
Speaker 4: it be casual, and they're like that never ends.
Speaker 2: Well I'm like no, no.
Speaker 4: And then I had like a three month situationship where
Speaker 4: like I really liked the guy, thought it was going
Speaker 4: as we're go, and it ended really badly, and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, I like need to I need to
Speaker 4: somewhat have like a connection to this person or even
Speaker 4: just like keep talking or be friends. So like when
Speaker 4: someone just goes m I A, I'm like so offended,
Speaker 4: right like that.
Speaker 3: If it wants I understand, Yeah, that's what it's supposed
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, maybe that's not for me, Okay, that's.
Speaker 3: Fine, but I'm ready. You're you're learning. Do you think
Speaker 3: men get nervous.
Speaker 1: That like if they date you it could end up
Speaker 1: being content on?
Speaker 2: No, this isn't new. This is a new thing for me.
Speaker 4: I've been making videos being like this loser did this
Speaker 4: the other day and like whatever, I actually I got
Speaker 4: scared when I'm not scared. But I finally blocked the
Speaker 4: situationship God, because every time we've had an encounter, I'm like, I.
Speaker 3: Want to talk about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like now I I freaking keep saying like if
Speaker 4: I see him, like I know, like I think at
Speaker 4: this point we're just not gonna like look at each
Speaker 4: other because it's all content now.
Speaker 2: But I never say someone's name.
Speaker 4: I would never say them people they dropped the nay
Speaker 4: drop the name every time they know where there are.
Speaker 4: Because one guy that I was like kind of hooking
Speaker 4: up with and kind of had this not this guy,
Speaker 4: but like how to talk about that? He was like
Speaker 4: whatever happened? He's like, I was really bitter you made
Speaker 4: that video about me? And I'm like, no one knows
Speaker 4: who you are, and he's like, but I knew it
Speaker 4: was about me. I'm like, you ghosted me. And he's like,
Speaker 4: I think you're really cool.
Speaker 2: Good and he was like, let's hang out again.
Speaker 4: I'm like sure, because honestly, for me, I'm like I
Speaker 4: need sometimes someone that I want to hook up with,
Speaker 4: just if I'm like horny or something like why can't
Speaker 4: I But I just want to have like some sort
Speaker 4: of like friendship or.
Speaker 1: Like not that they're gonna go on my ag Do
Speaker 1: you want them like on the roster until you're over it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, or else it's like rude.
Speaker 4: But but going back to your question, I have been
Speaker 4: nervous being like, if these guys see these videos, it's.
Speaker 2: So gonna push away people.
Speaker 4: But then some of my friends are like, no, it'll
Speaker 4: just make them treat you right, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 4: it seems a.
Speaker 2: Little scary, even though I I'm not saying their name.
Speaker 4: No, I'm unsure how much I want to keep going
Speaker 4: with it, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think you keep doing Whoever is going to be
Speaker 1: signing your checks is what you fucking do.
Speaker 3: Like you are a content creator.
Speaker 1: Whoever comes into your life should be the person that's like,
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do, Okay, But you know.
Speaker 4: What I just realized that I did yesterday or like
Speaker 4: this week is like some guys that are in my dms,
Speaker 4: which there aren't many, but like guys that I'm like
Speaker 4: maybe it's newer or like just flirting with Yah, I
Speaker 4: block them from my stories and that's showing that, like
Speaker 4: what I love that, No, but it's showing that I'm
Speaker 4: like nervous for them to see their real me. So
Speaker 4: that's not like a great thing, you know, but I'm
Speaker 4: posting about so many I feel like if you don't
Speaker 4: know me first in person, you're just getting this like
Speaker 4: like rogue version of me and they're gonna be like what,
Speaker 4: Like I'm I just don't know, So like that's the
Speaker 4: thing that I'm like. And then I said it to
Speaker 4: one friend the other day and they're like, but then
Speaker 4: they're not then you're hiding you, And I'm like, I
Speaker 4: nobody think it's a lot to just like if you
Speaker 4: follow me and just like see everything I post on
Speaker 4: my stories, you might be a little scared.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, can I tell you. I feel that I
Speaker 3: love that you do that.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, anyone who I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be talking to you need to know get on
Speaker 1: my socials. See how I interact in a bunch of
Speaker 1: different situations, whether I'm saying, like tune into my Amazon
Speaker 1: Live or like a new episode of untraditionally La La
Speaker 1: being a mom, or like maybe doing a slutty thirst trap.
Speaker 1: You gotta see me in all my elements because if
Speaker 1: you come into my world, this is what you get.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: And if I if you come into my world based
Speaker 1: off of what I want you to see and only
Speaker 1: what I want you to see, then I get attached.
Speaker 1: And when you see other things you may not like
Speaker 1: and you abort mission, big fucking waste of time.
Speaker 2: Right, No, for sure. And for my saying that when
Speaker 2: I was with my ex two like, I was very
Speaker 2: I never changed my content, Like I remember one time
Speaker 2: he said like that I was like showing too much
Speaker 2: skin in a photo. I said, okay, well then you
Speaker 2: can go.
Speaker 4: I was like, I've I was like, or was it
Speaker 4: one of my fond any videos where like I'm changing
Speaker 4: in my halls and stuff, And I'm like, I'm never
Speaker 4: changing that, just so you know, FYI like this will
Speaker 4: always be how it started. Because if I'm not planning
Speaker 4: on changing my content for someone, which I would never do.
Speaker 4: If a man told me what to post or not post,
Speaker 4: it'd be like you're done, so I.
Speaker 2: Probably should unblock them from my stories. Yeah, but like
Speaker 2: what if they're just flirting.
Speaker 4: Situations like like I want them to I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know either. You're asking someone who's like chronically safe.
Speaker 1: I don't like the word date because it gives it
Speaker 1: potential for it to go somewhere. So I right now
Speaker 1: just fuck.
Speaker 2: Oh you're you're just okay? Same.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, I don't need you, I don't want
Speaker 1: anything from you. I, for the first time in my life,
Speaker 1: feels so peaceful, and I would like to enjoy this
Speaker 1: moment in my life because I deserve that. It's been
Speaker 1: like years of just chaos, right and fighting tooth and
Speaker 1: nail to like get some oxygen, and now I have it,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why would I ruin that?
Speaker 4: Are people just like you're not on the apps or
Speaker 4: not on the app or it sliding into people's I.
Speaker 3: Am always the aggressor.
Speaker 1: I always It's very rare that I'll give out my
Speaker 1: number because I like to take the numbers, sit on it,
Speaker 1: and then if I feel like reaching out, great. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be the person that goests even though
Speaker 1: that that that has happened before.
Speaker 2: Oh I give my number out like candy, So that
Speaker 2: part's not like me.
Speaker 3: Great, but you have to find your groove.
Speaker 2: Bring me to stop doing that, like it could be
Speaker 2: anyone on that, like.
Speaker 1: You know, like you're gonna get to the point where
Speaker 1: you have to change your phone number.
Speaker 4: I had reason My sister yells at me everage amount
Speaker 4: just stop stop because I'm literally like a girl will
Speaker 4: be like I love you whatever. I'm like, text me tomorrow.
Speaker 4: And then I'm like what am I doing? Like, oh,
Speaker 4: I have to stop, but you have to.
Speaker 2: I know it's bad.
Speaker 1: No, And you know, it's a fine line for me
Speaker 1: with bringing dudes around, because there's the people who are
Speaker 1: like overly eager to be on television.
Speaker 2: It's real. Is it not really hard to not know
Speaker 2: people's intentions? Yes, yes it is.
Speaker 1: But and there are the people that are like I
Speaker 1: don't want to be talking about to do.
Speaker 3: With that all, And I'm like, well, there's the guy.
Speaker 4: That is exactly what I want, And I'm like, there's
Speaker 4: I have yet to find that. Like that guy had
Speaker 4: a situationship was like, do not put me anywhere. That's
Speaker 4: why I started making the videos to piss him off
Speaker 4: more after, because I know there's nothing that makes him
Speaker 4: more mad. But like then, my ex, I think wanted
Speaker 4: it a little too much. And now now I'm like
Speaker 4: very cautious about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've learned a lot, and I mean you're only thirty,
Speaker 1: Like you're still it's gonna be a process because you're
Speaker 1: only going to.
Speaker 3: Get higher and higher to the sky.
Speaker 1: Right So right now, I think, and this is just
Speaker 1: my opinion, you stay true to like getting yourself where
Speaker 1: you want to be physically, emotionally, spiritually wherever, and also
Speaker 1: business wise so that the guy that comes in, you know,
Speaker 1: you'll attract someone who needs nothing from you, you don't
Speaker 1: need anything from him, and you guys just add to
Speaker 1: each other's one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: And I think that's what my mom always says. Who's
Speaker 4: a huge fan of you. She's always like, we were
Speaker 4: watching Like Love Is Blond the other day and she's like, oh,
Speaker 4: I can't when they keep saying my person. If you
Speaker 4: ever come home and say my person, I'm kicking you out.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is with you?
Speaker 4: Like with the and she goes any soul me to
Speaker 4: hate that too, And I was like, why are you
Speaker 4: so like anti that? And she was just like I've
Speaker 4: always like from her too. It's always been like someone
Speaker 4: to add to not be like your other half. For me,
Speaker 4: those words, it's more other half, I'm like, and everyone's like,
Speaker 4: I love my other half. I never I'm not looking
Speaker 4: for another half, like you need to be whole. And
Speaker 4: then I think I totally agree. Someone that adds to
Speaker 4: my life. That's great in a good way and a
Speaker 4: positive exactly.
Speaker 1: No, I'm so happy for you, and I know that
Speaker 1: that comment section can be brutal.
Speaker 3: My heart was like breaking for you.
Speaker 4: You want to feel brutal, but brute definitely have a
Speaker 4: little bit of thicker skin.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you got thicker skin through it all?
Speaker 4: I think I one hundred percent do. But I've like
Speaker 4: I have my days in my weeks. I think it's
Speaker 4: when I'm hormonal. I have no idea, but like all
Speaker 4: last week I was like in my fields and then
Speaker 4: like you know, like there's certain days where like you
Speaker 4: focus on those negative comments where like I don't know,
Speaker 4: I woke up yesterday and I didn't give a shit
Speaker 4: about anything, and I'm like, yeah, it's very I mean,
Speaker 4: I think that's just a part of being in this world.
Speaker 2: It's just like confusing.
Speaker 4: So, yes, I thought I'd gained thicker skin, and then
Speaker 4: recently I think I've just kind of what you said, like,
Speaker 4: I do need to figure out my brand and who
Speaker 4: I am and where I what I'm doing right now
Speaker 4: because of what the box people put me in. Now,
Speaker 4: I'm like, where am I? What am I doing? Like
Speaker 4: I love putting out content and I talk about kind
Speaker 4: of everything, but I think it's almost hard me not
Speaker 4: being put into this box for ones that I'm like.
Speaker 2: What am I or what am I?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Hold on, I'm more comfortable in a box.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, did I like the box?
Speaker 4: Like I don't know, but I'm just I'm figuring it all.
Speaker 3: You got comfortable people.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you could be in the most unhappy place of
Speaker 1: your life. But if you're comfortable there because it's your
Speaker 1: every day, the moment that you get.
Speaker 3: Out of it, you start to flounder a bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I was comfortable for so long, like didn't
Speaker 4: focus on my health, my mental health like nothing. But
Speaker 4: I was just like staying in this place because I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, my career is skyrocketing, So like I'm
Speaker 4: just going to be here. But now that I'm like,
Speaker 4: I am happier, Like when I think about like mentally,
Speaker 4: I'm overall happier in the past year just for so
Speaker 4: many reasons and work I've done on myself and physically
Speaker 4: not in pain like I was in pain with my
Speaker 4: back and my knees for so long.
Speaker 2: So like I'm happier.
Speaker 4: But I think now it's like, Okay, I'm out of
Speaker 4: that box that people were putting me in terms of
Speaker 4: like connecting.
Speaker 2: My weight to who I am that right.
Speaker 4: It almost started happening to me, Like I almost started
Speaker 4: thinking that way too, And now I'm like.
Speaker 2: Okay, who am I? Without that piece?
Speaker 3: You felt like it was your identity.
Speaker 2: I feel like people were making it my identity, but
Speaker 2: I think that started to become it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So where can people find you so that
Speaker 1: you can like share your journey and share all of
Speaker 1: your amazing because you're also one of the fun as
Speaker 1: people that I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3: And where can they buy your goods? Tell me everything?
Speaker 4: It's just at remy Bader on TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and
Speaker 4: then you could buy fangirl.
Speaker 2: Which also clips on your phone.
Speaker 4: Or laptop or anything you've use in like a zoom,
Speaker 4: meaning you could use it on your phone when you're out. Anyways,
Speaker 4: Fangirl by Remy you can get that on Amazon and
Speaker 4: on Revolve as of now and TBD because you'll be
Speaker 4: able to see it more somewhere many other places in
Speaker 4: the future.
Speaker 3: No, I can't wait. I'm so into this.
Speaker 1: I'm literally I can't wait to clip my extensions in
Speaker 1: and like have a Beyonce fans.
Speaker 4: Light is so you could do the fan the light
Speaker 4: at the same time. But like I didn't do for
Speaker 4: the light, but I was like, what is something that's
Speaker 4: non existent? And people are like obviously when it's like
Speaker 4: darker outer, it's like the light is amazing.
Speaker 2: It makes you look like gorge.
Speaker 3: Oh I can't wait to look gorge.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I needed it today.
Speaker 1: Noo Remmy, thank you so much for coming on my livecast.
Speaker 1: I love you. You're a fucking rock star. You look amazing.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I hope you feel amazing.
Speaker 1: You guys, thank you for listening to another episode of
Speaker 1: Untraditionally La La. I'm gonna catch you on Monday for
Speaker 1: the bonus and again next week.
Speaker 3: Bye.