WEBVTT - Secrets (with Jacob Reed) 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:04.200 Portions of This is Americans Live. The improvised documentary podcast, 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:07.720 are brought to you by listeners like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:11.440 and the all powerful, all knowing Random Sentence Generator, which 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.480 inspires the stories you're about to hear. Yes, whenever you 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.720 hear this sound, the next sentence you hear is a 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:23.320 random sentence provided by our revered, omnipotent random sentence Generator. 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.960 For more This is Americans Live. Listened to more episodes 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:30.200 of This is Americans Live. I guess and now your 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:34.440 first random sentence. The Great Dane looked more like a 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:38.280 horse than a dog. At least that's what everybody in 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:40.760 the neighborhood dot. I thought it was a horse. We 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:43.760 were on our walk in the morning and I looked 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:46.440 off in the distance and I said, look at that 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.800 horse over there. You nevered that that it might be 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.120 a dog never really crossed my mind. Actually, was there 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:54.960 anybody walking it or it is it's just pre roaming. Yeah, 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.720 somebody was walking it with with a leash on it, 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.040 and I remember thinking to myself, look at that horse 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:04.200 on a leash being walked by someone as if it 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.760 were a dog. But then they never got on Usually 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:08.720 you see a person who was so walking a horse 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.520 and then they get on it. It was so weird. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.199 And then I wondered if that was the same because 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:17.320 remember last night, Remember I called you when I said, hey, 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:21.160 it's three in the morning and this horse next door 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.720 is barking like a dog. Remember, Yeah, that that horse 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:26.560 cut me up all night. Barking like a dog was 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:28.720 crazy And my first thought was when did they teach 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.080 that horse to bark? And that was the dynamic of 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.240 their friendship. They would call each other in the middle 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.800 of the night, sometimes the middle of the day. I'd say, hey, 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:38.600 you see something that they thought was something else or 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:42.280 just general go about the neighborhood. So I called him up. 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.360 It was four o'clock in the morning. I was asleep, 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.480 he was asleep, and I said, hey, earlier today, did 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:51.480 you see that airplane that had a propeller on it 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.400 and it was making a helicopter sound? And I said, 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.520 was it the one around to three in the afternoon 0:01:56.560 --> 0:01:59.160 above our houses? Yeah, the one that was shining the 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:03.800 light spotlight trying to catch somebody. It is the craziest 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.080 loine to think. You guys, before you years published you 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:09.880 first magazine, it was pretty soon after a lot of 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.760 people in the neighborhood want to know what's going on, 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:15.800 and I think, um, you know, with conglomerate's buying up 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.000 all the newspapers, there's no local news anymore. So so 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.440 we started publishing. Can you believe what I saw? A magazine? 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:24.440 And right now it's just quickly street, but we hoped 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:27.720 to expand the other streets. And the weird thing about 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:31.799 our magazine is that it actually looks like a book. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:36.440 Got a hardcover. We want a lot of pages, no 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:40.320 no pictures, but it's the magazine. It's pretty successful with 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:44.360 the adventure with this magazine. Slash Book turned into the magazine. 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:47.679 They didn't realize that there was a competing local gabbler. 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.160 I want to go talk to the editor of the 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:55.000 Local Gap. Yeah, I've been editing the Local Gabbler going 0:02:55.200 --> 0:03:00.840 on twenty nine days, and is Johnny come lately? Comes 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.880 in here with this? Look what I saw? Can you 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.320 believe what I saw? Book? Posing as a magazine? Why 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.720 do you feel like you have such a footing in 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.640 this industry only doing it for twenty nine days because 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:15.840 nobody else was doing it up until this point. First 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:19.160 come first Rich, But if they think that they could 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.640 come into my neighborhood and start printing a competing book 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:27.519 size magazine. Because my magazine, the Local Gabbler, I also 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.200 talk about things that I see. For example, in the 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.200 next issue, I'll be doing a four page spread about 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.280 a guy interviewing me. I decided to talk to some 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:39.960 of the locals see if they had an opinion or 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:44.560 like a pepsi choice, the local Gabbler or the other one. 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.920 What is this smell? What this is there too? What's 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.160 they're magazines that um kind of talk about things that 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:53.360 they see. It's about us. Yeah, this is the first 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:55.680 time hearing of any sort of publication like this. Does 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.040 I don't really have any thoughts on don't want to 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.880 way or the other. I'm not really giving you much, 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:05.440 so we should probably just start the show. This is 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.760 This is Americans Live. I'm your host Starry with producer Andy. 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.960 Our special guest contributor for this episode is Jacob read 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.000 In a show will be using our trustee Sense Generator 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.120 to bring you story in three improvised acts. This week's 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.040 theme secrets. We all have them. I have them. You 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.400 probably have some, but we keep them to ourselves. And 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.880 it is safe in our mind. We don't tell other people, 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:35.440 but sometimes secrets come out. Stay with us. Act. It 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.920 took him a month to finish the meal. He started 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.600 it exactly three days prior a big meal. I mean 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:43.400 that he could put back in the fridge and then 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.960 repeat every day. But he was hacking away at it 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.560 like a redwood. But started out was a gigantic mortgae 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.000 sport was slowly turning into a snack. Are you what 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.480 are you doing down here? Come to bed. I'm savor 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:57.520 in it meal again. I've paid for it. When I'm 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:00.280 gonna give him a man's war, you on your meal. 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:10.760 This is the world's largest chicken Farmagiana. Okay, well, I'm 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:12.800 just gonna go to bed. Then, are we up a 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.800 couple of hours? Right? What do you mean you don't 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:17.599 believe me? I don't believe you. You've been eating with 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.520 meal NonStop for thirty days. Of course you're not gonna 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.440 come upstairs. You're gonna sit here and you're gonna eat it, 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.760 and you're gonna fall asleep in it. Damn straight. Do 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.640 you find that the taste of the first bite is 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.520 very different than the taste that you're having tonight? The 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.120 taste of meal changes and matures over days and days, 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:37.839 starts out fresh and festers and blossoms like a wine. 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:45.919 Eight ages. Yeah right, ringing, yes, Hi. My name is 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:52.160 solved Frankfurt. I represent the Guinness World Records Committee. I'm 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.760 afraid I have some unfortunate news. There was a man 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:58.839 in Knoxville who has been eating the same meal for 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.480 the three days. This sort of thing is never easy. 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.040 But if he finished it, yeah, he finished it. Where 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:09.159 I'm still eating. I don't need it. I'm sorry, good 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.320 good luck to you, sir, and decided to go meet 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:18.200 the other guy, the competitor, M thirty three days? What 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:24.800 exactly are you eating? What is that? A giant pretzels? About? Well? 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:34.839 It's good wife. Is there a follow up question? Sir? Yeah, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.400 I was getting to it. What is it? Um? I forgot? 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:41.520 I'm so distracted by your smacking and I just I've 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.279 lost all my faculties as an interviewer. That are you 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:47.280 coming to my third grade graduation? Two questions? Does it 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:51.919 conflict with my eating? And the second question, why do 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:55.720 you have a third grade graduation ceremony? I don't know 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.480 if it conflicts with you're eating, because you're always eating 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.960 that astronomy pretzel, and teacher says third grade graduation is 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:04.560 important because then you mark the day that you become 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.800 a fourth grader. Well, teacher doesn't know about the hardsticks 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.400 of food eating. What's the do you want to do 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:24.200 another one? Yeah? He had accidentally hacked into his company's server. Originally, 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.040 he was just playing a game of Solitaire, and all 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.680 of a sudden, all these company files started popping up, 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:31.360 populating a screen, and you knew all their secrets, all 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:36.000 their in discretions. But this queen here, who I don't 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:37.680 think I should be looking at this? But can I 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.600 get I t over here? Alan? Alan, come look at 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:42.800 the screen? Look what popped up? Is this? Is this 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.520 all right? Yeah? We had always had problems with Barry 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.960 he Um, he would frequently be playing mind Sweeper or Solitaire, 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:52.840 which first of all, he really shouldn't be doing on 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.480 company time, but invariably he would end up on some 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:02.160 pornographic site or company files or a government server. And um, 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:06.000 he's either the stupidest person I've ever met or the smartest. 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:08.560 So he was kind of like a hacker idiots all 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:11.600 kind of type. Yeah, I guess, so I wanted to 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.960 turn him in Why didn't you guess I really should 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.320 have the first thing I'm gonna do is hack into 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:19.400 the main frame, trace the key strokes, and then we'll 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:24.480 be in here you go, I'm just gonna you've got nail. 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:27.760 That's cool. No no time for that now, I guess 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:31.080 it's just every point. If you don't hack into this 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.640 server within thirty minutes, I'm gonna bring in somebody else. 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:36.400 I can do it. I can do it. Possible A 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:42.520 sagative one seven. Hell with it? Calberry, Calberry, Because at 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.560 that moment, if we figured out that he could only 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:46.800 do it if he was trying not to do it, 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:48.760 what would you have him do? You just bring him 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.679 to the computer and just I would tell him he 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.360 had to do a snood and then um, you know, 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:57.120 he would be into no rod to do what a snood? 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:00.520 A snood is a it's a computer game for morons. 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:05.559 It's um your blast. There's different faces. Right going to 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:07.840 the archives, I wanted to see what the snood was, 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.640 so I had to find the commercial for Snood and 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:14.000 he was right, the kids do you like games? Yeah? 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:17.160 Are you also a moron? What? Then? You love Snoot? 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.520 The game for kids who are also morons. It's a 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.920 game for morons. Tell me takes a chain? What's a turn? 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.800 So you had Barry just hop on the computer and 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.040 he would just hack into Norad. He didn't even know 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.800 what he was doing. Yeah, well he's a savant, and 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.400 we were trying to get the missile coats right for 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.760 the United States systems. All right, I mean the boss says, 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:41.360 I'm not supposed to be playing Snoot, but I guess 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:44.319 I'll guess I'll play anyway, since you got a gun 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:48.360 to my head. Oh what is this? What are these missiles? 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.240 Something that's no? Norah had something I don't I don't 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:52.480 know what that is. Do you want me to take 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.520 a screenshot and send this to you? Just keep going? Okay, 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:02.640 okay one player? Oh is this schematics of the Pentagon? 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:07.040 Just you're doing such good snow ding? Okay, okay, where 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.600 do I How do I pick my pick my sprite? WHOA? 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:14.960 This is social security number and a credit card information? 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:20.360 Just just all good? Okay, this doesn't seem right. A 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:23.280 few years went by, Barry was recruited by the n S. A. 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:26.360 He want me to go to a different country. We 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.240 want you to get into an internet cafe and just 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.240 play games. Barry, that's what the U. S. Military wants 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.160 you to do. Can you do that for your country? 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:37.440 I mean, I guess we're giving you a stop end 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.280 of one point two million dollars a year to go 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:43.760 into internet cafes and play free web games and look 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:49.160 at pornography exactly. All right, Well, by what do you 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:52.320 would like to play? We have all types of internet 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.800 cafe computers. This one is for my sweep. This one 0:10:55.920 --> 0:11:00.640 is for you not like you know, partnographics staff. You 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.600 can pet quickly like you guys have fugie golf, remember golf, Yes, 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:08.240 we have fulf He's fund in this compute. Here you 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.640 play and then we charge if there yes, oh yeah 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.160 it sounds good to me. All right, here we go. 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.960 I'm gonna use the nine iron and wait Vladimir Putin's 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:24.560 cell phone number. Hello, coming up at to the first 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:35.560 the word from our esteemed sponsors stay with us at 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:40.920 to interview. Our special guest contributor is Jacob Reid. Welcome, Welcome, 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:42.719 thank you for having me, Thank you for being here. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.400 How long have you been a listener to the show? 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.480 Ever since I can remember? Yeah, it seems to be 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:53.360 very popular. Yeah, everybody's talking about what I think my 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:55.120 parents used to play this in the car when they 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:57.760 would it's possible. Yeah, yeah, Well I've been around for 0:11:57.800 --> 0:11:59.959 a while, so tell us a little about yourself, Jack. 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.840 Do we know each other in real life? We go 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.199 way back, so you currently if I'm gonna understand you 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.200 have a family, I do. I have a family. I 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:12.240 have a wife, uh and a small child. I have 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:16.080 a toddler. Yes, he's twenty months old of this moment. 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:17.760 What you are you gonna do in he's twenty one, 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:21.200 I teach him to drink. Baby, let me give our 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:25.280 son alcohol just because he's twenty one month. Yeah, don't 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.880 be such a buzz kill. Google Pops wants to give 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.319 me a beer or two on my twenty one month birthday. 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.680 I think I get a beer at my twenty one 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:36.880 one month. But we taught him to drive when he 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:40.000 was sixteen months. We gave him a cigarette when he 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:41.960 turned eighteen months, and I did that about you, Pop. 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:43.880 He's gonna rent a car when he's twenty five months. 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:45.560 We did a keen say at fifteen, we did at 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:49.199 bar Mitzva at thirteen. We covered other bases. Basically, Yeah, 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.040 I want to be a good dad. Sod you meet 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.840 you life. This is a real now, everything's real, Okay. 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.320 I'm sorry to be still thrown by it. And it's okay. 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.840 I wasn't really your baby just now though, I but 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.640 you sounded just like Jim, I was. I was playing 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:07.559 the part of it. Sounded exactly like my son. Sometimes 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.600 the producer will take us back to a moment in 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.400 time that you may have just mentioned. Just know that 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.840 got it and that's just him. That's end me. It's him, 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.160 got it okay, because I would just prefer to stay 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:20.959 in the interview. Got it right? How did you meet 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:25.960 your wife? We met in college class. We never had 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:29.160 any classes together that I know of, um, but we 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.560 It was in the early days of Facebook, where you 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.440 like run into someone once you know their first name 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.720 and like that's it, and you truly could stock them. 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.960 It wasn't as creepy. I mean, maybe it was, but 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.280 it didn't feel as creepy back then. Everyone of any gender, 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.280 like you meet someone, you look them up and then 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.440 your friends on Facebook and you might not ever talk 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.440 to them again. How long were you stalking her line 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:53.199 before you actually popped the question? Hi? All right, Hi, 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.720 I'm the maid of honor. I'd like to make a 0:13:55.800 --> 0:14:03.880 toast please the happy futle. So I remember when you 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.400 came back to our dorm and you told me you 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:12.080 barely came into contact with a man. And now you're 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:17.120 pretty scared because he's watching you and stalking you, and 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:21.640 you think he might be the one. And I just 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:25.480 want to say, I am so glad that the judge 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:29.880 didn't enforce the restraining order, because had he done that, 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:35.280 we wouldn't all be here today. Thank you, Jacob. We're 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:39.600 all still kind of scared, but we know that eventually, 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:43.880 once she gets to know you, you you will be perfect 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.600 for each other. And that's all. That's all I got. 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:50.800 That's all good. Thank you so much. Can you again, places, 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.400 I'm going on honeymoon. Okay, whereas if you don't hear 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:59.600 from two weeks, oh, my parents tell absolutely happened to me. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.600 I will just be careful, don't be Okay. This is 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:06.160 the happiest, the scariest day in my way. I'm pretty 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:11.000 scared too. Besties forever. Is that kind of help? Only 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.360 a couple of things. Differently, as you know that she 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.120 was going to be the one for you, I feel 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:19.080 like I knew really early on, like the cliche of 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:22.640 like just you know, we had been dating for uh, 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.360 well maybe not that we were going to get married, 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.040 but we had been dating for a couple of weeks, 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.720 and I was like, ah, shit, like I I don't 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.920 think I wanted a serious relationship at that point, and um, 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.240 you were bit huh, you were bitten. It's just it 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.200 just felt like a connection where it was like, oh, 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.120 this is gonna be like a really long this is 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.320 gonna be a long thing. So you're just like living 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:44.440 your single guy life. You know, You've just got in 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.960 a few dates with her, you're dating two three weeks, 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:50.240 and you're up getting your normal Saturday morning cereal, and 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.920 the love bug just came into me. Yeah, I mean 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:59.080 pretty much works. So, um the famous fable of the 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.440 love bug. Can you walk us through that day when 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:05.640 you were the cereal? J Christ Please? I wake up 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.280 at four thirty in the morning, which is what I 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:10.080 always do to get my crisp backs. What I do 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:11.560 is I wake up at four dirty in the morning. 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:23.560 Got you sucker your mother. I don't try to bite 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:28.440 me asshole night. Listen. I'm gonna go right, go left. 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:33.480 But we are going to bite. We are going to 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:46.040 bite glove bug scrabble ensemble and this feels like a 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.640 different bowl of cereal day. At that point, did you 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.280 realize that you wanted to eat that bowl with two 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:55.760 spoons and you're not necessarily holding the other spoon. Yeah, 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:59.040 so you got bit by this legion of bucks. Yeah, 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.000 I mean we didn't. We didn't. Um. Let's say we 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.159 started dating in the end of eleven and then we 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:10.199 got married. So I must have proposed when I met her. 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:12.119 How long had you had you guys been dating? Do 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.400 you remember that day? I don't know. I don't know what. 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:18.480 What was your impression of our relationship when you met 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:20.800 us as a couple, because you had known me? If 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:25.200 I'm being completely honest and not being does not meet 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.400 me being cheesy. I knew you guys are gonna get married, okay, 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:35.240 and next toast is from ari Ye all right, Um, 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:36.879 I remember when I saw you guys at D E 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:40.320 T s Um. I knew you guys are gonna get married. 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.199 I didn't tell her that I knew, Nor did I 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:48.600 tell you that I knew Jacob, But I knew. And 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:52.760 that's how well. If you want to listen to my 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.919 recording that I did right after I had met you 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.879 two at ts uh here, let me just play it 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.880 for you and twelve. I can't remember my month is 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.640 or what day A little drunk I just left tuts. 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.520 I saw Jacob and his wife for his future wife, Heather. 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.960 I'm pretty sure they're gonna get married. End of recording. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.000 How are your toast has run a little long? We're 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:15.200 gonna want to all right, thank you so much. This 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:20.400 is Jacob and Heather's wedding day with us. My producer 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.320 wants me to ask you about being a father because 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.960 he is also a father, So you guys can share 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:30.159 fader about being fathers. Oh, father father. What's been the 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:34.399 most surprisingly challenging thing about being a new parent. I 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:38.320 think the most surprisingly hard thing is how much baggage 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:41.119 you have from how you were raised that you didn't 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:45.040 even know existed. I think baggage is kind of comes 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.359 with territory when you when your parents. I know, my 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:51.040 dad brought baggage into the relationship, and I bring baggage 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:52.959 to the relationship to my kids. Guys, when I talk 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.520 to my dad, Yeah, yeah you have Do you have 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.840 footage of of your dad? So are we talking to him. 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.480 Are we listening to a recording of him? My dad's here? Oh? Hey, 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.160 are you doing? I'm ahere is dead, I'm always dead. 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:06.760 You're always Dadira? Hi, what's it? What's your name? My 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:10.480 name is Irah. My son's are so I raised my kid. 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.160 They're very nice to meet you. You're very welcome you, guys. 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.320 I didn't thank you. Would you like meeting my son? 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:19.119 We already know your son pretty well. Hey, let's up, guys. 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:23.399 Are can I talk to your dad again? Yeah? I 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.320 really want to get to know. Are you doing? I'm 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.760 I'm always dead. Thank you for being part of the show. 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:32.040 Thanks for having me. Yeah, it's great coming up at three? 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.159 The first A word from our sponsors, who make this 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:44.359 high quality program possible. Stay with us. At three, the 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:49.760 sun had set, and so had his dreams. He had 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:53.560 a lot of aspirations to be bigger things and more 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:57.040 important than what he was, but anymore, I guess I 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.119 just need to face it. I'm never going to be there. 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.800 Don't say it, don't see it. I'm sorry. I just 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:05.960 have to face facts. You're gonna be the best juggler. No, 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.240 I'm never you are though, just I can't even grab 0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:13.240 any three things. Okay, this this knife, stapler, grab a 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:17.960 stapler and this this other knife. Go for it. Yeah, 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:22.520 any minute, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Look I'm 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:25.720 doing it. At that moment, he stabbed himself with the knife. 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:32.920 Look at god. I told you I tuldn't do it. 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.199 Who's a lot of blood? Man? Just take Okay, I'm 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.640 taking the doctor. No I'll take too late. No, I'm 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.719 taking you. I'm taking you. Okay, he's gonna carry me 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:47.280 to the car. Sorry, sorry, taking in. Yeah. So he's 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:49.200 he's giving up his dreams. And he was gonna be 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:50.879 a really good juggler. And then I gave him like 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:52.399 three things to juggle one of them two of them 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:55.000 are knives. And then he stabbed himself by accident? Would 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:59.199 you classify this as an emergency? Yes, he's bleeding everywhere. 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.560 My parents, all right, he's being dramatic. Can we please 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.080 get him into the hospital. Please? The ductor will see 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:10.600 you know? All right? What should problem? He was juggling 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:12.679 two knives and a stapler and then and then and 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:14.680 then wait what is this place too? Like a carnival? 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:18.800 Come right? Is this the car's a carnal? Hospital? I 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:20.520 just gonna fell a little weird. But the way she's like, 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:23.080 come this way, so it's like maybe we lost a 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:25.000 lot of bloody or we're gonna have to do a transfusion. 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:28.919 Bear the nurse come in here, we please, uh I 0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:36.760 need blood for this coming right. Everyone said that this 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:40.720 hospital feels like a circus, and we just thought, lean in, 0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:42.760 you know, and did you know that you're going to 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:46.200 be treating a lot of like carnival performance type injuries. 0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:48.600 I guess that just worked out. I guess you build 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:51.120 the crick at tent and you're gonna get clowns. That's 0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:53.640 what they say. Doctor, doctor, you've got to help my son. 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:55.800 He put his head in inside of a lion's mouth, 0:21:55.840 --> 0:22:02.000 and he's said, oh, good time to get his head out. 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:09.320 We're gonna do it. Those are two of our best surgeons, 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:12.400 and did their big hands get in the way of 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:22.080 doing delicate surgery. They did scalpel. Here you go, sus body. 0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:27.200 But they also performed the first balloon ectomy, and that's 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:30.280 removing a balloon, removing a balloon that they had put 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:33.600 in person and replacing it with a new balloon. Dcor 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:37.560 this lama, it's to come out stand okay, to be 0:22:37.640 --> 0:22:44.800 replaced with a draft. So he opened up two branches. Yeah, 0:22:44.840 --> 0:22:48.479 we opened up two branches, Circus Hospital North and Circus 0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:51.879 Hospital and Circus Hospital South. We changed the name of 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:56.240 Circus Hospital South after a famous musician named their child 0:22:56.280 --> 0:22:59.359 and copyrighted Circus Hospital South. And so we now have 0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:02.439 Circus hause Bittle North and then other Hospital, which is 0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:06.640 not a great name, but everyone knows what Everyone knows 0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:09.919 that that's the other hospital. Like if you say, if 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:13.280 you say where, like where are you? Where's your grandma hat? 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:15.800