WEBVTT - Girlfriend Dick (Patreon Preview)

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<v Speaker 1>I know that this is a show about wealthy women

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<v Speaker 1>in their fifties. I can only take Rose so many

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<v Speaker 1>plot lines that revolve around real estate.

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<v Speaker 2>She's sheen ami.

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<v Speaker 1>No man, not homi may yo yo?

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<v Speaker 2>What is your childnge trauma?

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<v Speaker 1>I am.

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<v Speaker 2>Yo?

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<v Speaker 1>What's going down?

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<v Speaker 2>Before round? Welcome to Like a Virgin, the Patreon exclusive

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<v Speaker 2>podcast where we talk about it and just like that,

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<v Speaker 2>almost against our own will, I'm Rose Damu and.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fran Torado swallowing down a burb just as you

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<v Speaker 1>brought me into the conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>And Phoebe is also here, but has not watched this

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<v Speaker 2>week's episode, so she has muted herself. She may chime in.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think she should still chime in's you

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<v Speaker 1>don't really have to watch the show in order to

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<v Speaker 1>participate in the conversation, which is a horrible thing to say,

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<v Speaker 1>but for this one, we can say it.

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<v Speaker 2>I honestly don't know if I liked this episode or

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<v Speaker 2>I hated this episode. I think it just kind of exists,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't really have I don't feel positively or

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<v Speaker 2>negatively about it. But that also could because I'm in

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<v Speaker 2>the grips of a major depressive episode, so who knows,

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<v Speaker 2>But I think that's kind of I think that's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of how like and just like that is maybe best experience.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, in a kind of in a fugue state, in

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<v Speaker 1>a in a kind of numb fugue state, for sure. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I definitely experienced this episode in something of

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<v Speaker 1>a kind of catatonic state. I even re watched half

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<v Speaker 1>of it because I was just like interested in following

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<v Speaker 1>up on some of these plotlines. But the first among

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<v Speaker 1>them we have to talk about that you've already touched

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<v Speaker 1>on is Anthony and him, you know, going through the

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<v Speaker 1>motions of what is an extremely popular gay male phenomenon,

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<v Speaker 1>which is procrasting it, which is procrastinating on a hookup

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<v Speaker 1>because you're scared of a giant horse cock. And I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like if I were him, I'd be like I'd

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<v Speaker 1>be I don't know where you think you're putting that thing,

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<v Speaker 1>but like I'm gonna wait till the last possible moment

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<v Speaker 1>for you to come at me with that, because huge

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<v Speaker 1>horse cocks are not fun to fuck. Sorry, I've never

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<v Speaker 1>in my I've never in my life like fucked someone

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<v Speaker 1>with a huge or No, that's not true, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 1>have had great sex with someone who had a horse cock,

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<v Speaker 1>but he was a professional. The other horse talks out there.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, you do know how to use it, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're no, I would.

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<v Speaker 2>I would so much rather a hook up with someone

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<v Speaker 2>who had a small dick than a gigantic one.

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<v Speaker 1>Not a small dick, but like a boyfriend dick, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean. Like, No, I think a small

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<v Speaker 1>dick a girlfriend dick, honestly girlfriend dick. I like if

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<v Speaker 1>someone like the amount of grinder messages I receive on

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<v Speaker 1>a daily basis that are just people showing me they're

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<v Speaker 1>huge cocks you expect expecting me to like fall over

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<v Speaker 1>onto them, and like they just don't get it.

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<v Speaker 2>Like that's not appealing to me. And I understand there

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<v Speaker 2>are size queens out there looking for their very own Jiuseppe,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm not one of them. I don't. I like,

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely don't care about big dicks. You feel like they're pretty, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they're pretty. I guess they're really pretty.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean they're lovely to they're lovely to like bat

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<v Speaker 1>around like a little cat, toying.

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<v Speaker 2>And be like I do like the only person who

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<v Speaker 2>I think has a good philosophy about big dix is

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<v Speaker 2>friend of ours and friend of the podcast, Remy Durand,

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<v Speaker 2>who has said why would he suck a dick smaller

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<v Speaker 2>than his own? And you know what, I love that

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<v Speaker 2>for him.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that for him as well. Hmm, measuring against

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<v Speaker 1>my own. No, let me knock get into that. I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I feel like the Anthony thing. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>like I don't under don't I don't really believe the

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<v Speaker 1>circumstances we're in. He's just like, no, this doesn't make sense. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll never have sex with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Like you have to believe it because that's what's happening

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<v Speaker 2>on the show. Like I know that you don't think

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<v Speaker 2>it's real.

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<v Speaker 1>Potional, like is it a generational thing? Like I just

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<v Speaker 1>don't get it.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he just understands that Giuseeppe is much hotter

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<v Speaker 2>than him and is like, this can't be real. And

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<v Speaker 2>I you know, by the end of the episode, he

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<v Speaker 2>has accepted it and they are about to, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>jerk each other off in Anthony's like god daughter's childhood bedroom. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>which is very inappropriate, but I'm sure Charlotte and Harry

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<v Speaker 2>don't give a fuck.

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<v Speaker 1>No, they don't care. Let's get into Chay's love interest here.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so Chay has their horrible solo side plot in

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<v Speaker 2>which they are a receptionist of an animal rescue shelter

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<v Speaker 2>and some fucking non binary battye. He walks in with

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<v Speaker 2>a box full of baby kittens and is like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you look like has anyone ever told you you look

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<v Speaker 2>like Ja Diaz? And that's when I started fully dissociating.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>Phoebe, who hasn't watched the episode, is like losing from.

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<v Speaker 1>This spotlighte and Cha basically on the spot says, oh, yeah, totally.

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<v Speaker 1>I have shows coming up, I got gigs to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and they don't, and so now they have to like

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<v Speaker 1>figure out how to create work to impress the non

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<v Speaker 1>binary body with the box of kittens.

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<v Speaker 2>Which it like is is a tails old as time

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<v Speaker 2>tails old time like saying that you're actually have an

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<v Speaker 2>artistic project in the works that you don't in order

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<v Speaker 2>to impress someone with the shaved head.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, oh yeah, the times I've done that, baby.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure we're going to get a lot of really

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<v Speaker 2>good humor out of that, because you know, Chay like

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<v Speaker 2>is such a incisive comic voice.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's how I want the plot line to go. I

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<v Speaker 1>want Chay to pursue this envy, this shaved head envy

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<v Speaker 1>with the kittens, and they start to.

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<v Speaker 2>Never even got their pronouns.

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<v Speaker 1>You never even got their pronouns. They start to like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like you know, flur and maybe they're going

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<v Speaker 1>to go out and lo and behold this character is

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<v Speaker 1>actually the one with the giant horse cock, and that

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<v Speaker 1>becomes the I just need, I just need if you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to introduce a giant horsecock into the cinematic universe

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<v Speaker 1>of the show and not use it like where.

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<v Speaker 2>Not give it to a person?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly, No, I just I like, I'm I'm craving silly.

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<v Speaker 1>The show is not.

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<v Speaker 2>It's I'm silly too. I would love it if cha

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<v Speaker 2>stepped out on their first date with this non binary

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<v Speaker 2>potential horse horse cock Batty wearing a pair of Manolo

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<v Speaker 2>Blanics stolen from Carry's apartment. Ye. How you subvert expectations, honey?

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<v Speaker 2>If you want to hear all of our thoughts, but

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<v Speaker 2>then just like that, go to patreon dot com, slash

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<v Speaker 2>like a virgin and become a patron.

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<v Speaker 1>No