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Speaker 1: You don't hear me concession, I can't take back O arms.

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Speaker 2: Speak.

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Speaker 3: We got a text into seventy eight five nine to

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Speaker 3: two that says, I'm a dentist, and honestly, my number

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Speaker 3: one judgment about patience isn't if they flass, it's if

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Speaker 3: they don't trim their nose hairs.

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Speaker 1: I never thought about that.

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Speaker 3: Surprisingly, ladies are often worse, So please trim them before your.

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Speaker 4: Next business more did my husband's always want me to?

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Speaker 3: I mean, do refuses to trim her armpit or her

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Speaker 3: leg hair, so I'm doubting she's gonna go anywhere near her.

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Speaker 4: Nose with it.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Brooks, other hairs longer than her head hair.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, you're taller than me. It's not like you're

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Speaker 4: looking at it all the time.

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Speaker 3: But you know what, we do appreciate the helpful tips,

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Speaker 3: and we especially appreciate the secrets that our listeners share.

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Speaker 3: Right here on the mass speaker, we've got a guy

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Speaker 3: who's ready to spill his truth and wants to go

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Speaker 3: by Paul today. So Paul, welcome to the show. How's

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Speaker 3: your nose here doing?

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Speaker 2: I feel like he's doing all right. Guys, thanks for.

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Speaker 1: Having me here.

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Speaker 3: As you speaking in the wind.

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Speaker 4: It's so tick to do that, though, Sorry, it is

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Speaker 4: about you, not about us.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: Aside, Paul voice changer is on, you're the mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So yeah, this is really embarrassing. So back to college.

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Speaker 2: I was dating this girl and then her parents came

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Speaker 2: to visit, and was still like really early in the relationship,

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Speaker 2: especially totally for me, like do the music parents thing.

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Speaker 2: But they came out of dorm and her mom is

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Speaker 2: really sweet and she invited me to lunch.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that's a lot like if you weren't

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Speaker 4: even ready to meet them, And all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: the mom's like, let's go to love.

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Speaker 1: That's a good sign.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, they're really nicely little And then I said.

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Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, free lunch for a college.

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Speaker 2: Normally that would be the case, you know, yeah, free lunch.

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Speaker 2: But I was like super hungover. I had like three

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Speaker 2: a mcmuffins trying to soak up this alcohol and.

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Speaker 4: What a college kid can stomach.

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Speaker 3: So you went with them?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, So I go out with them and then

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Speaker 2: end up going to this tie place I've never had

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Speaker 2: time before.

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Speaker 4: Oh god, it's.

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Speaker 3: So good, though, it's a little bit intimidating for your

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Speaker 3: first time. Yeah right.

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Speaker 4: You can always get the cash.

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Speaker 1: Youw chicken or just a bowl of plain white rice.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So we're at this tie place and it's already awkward,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't mind meeting your parents, but I want

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Speaker 2: to do it where I'm like not so hungover, you know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so like in six years when you're out of college.

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Speaker 2: Right right, exactly. So the food comes out and I

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Speaker 2: just try to get out of it, like to get

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Speaker 2: out of the whole thing. I say, I'm allergic to

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Speaker 2: peanuts because I see peanuts on the dish.

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Speaker 4: Oh there's tons of peanuts.

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Speaker 3: Right, It's actually kind of smart.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, So.

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Speaker 2: Them, being the great people they are, send the food

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Speaker 2: back and get everything we order with no peanuts, and

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Speaker 2: I still have to eat everything.

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Speaker 4: People, Oh my god, and you're feeling guilty because you're

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Speaker 4: making the kitchen recook.

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Speaker 2: Everything right right, Oh, double yeah, double guilt. And then

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Speaker 2: and then you know, kind of like lesson learn right,

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Speaker 2: which would have been a funny story, except I ended

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Speaker 2: up marrying that girl and we've been married for four

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Speaker 2: years and I still have to keep up this lie.

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Speaker 3: Nuts.

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Speaker 4: That's a hard one to eat, because even like I

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Speaker 4: think it could be really useful. Sorry, I can't go

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Speaker 4: on the family trip. They serve peanuts on the plane.

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Speaker 4: I just too risky.

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Speaker 2: Well, not just that, not too long ago. It was Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Her mom saw me eating a peanut and then lost

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Speaker 2: her mind because she's like, oh my god, a peanut.

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Speaker 2: Eminem So she was like peanut and I didn't realize it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: So I had to pretend like my throat was closing up,

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Speaker 2: and they dropped me off to the hospital.

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Speaker 3: They took you to the hospital that night.

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, I go to the hospital straight there for

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Speaker 2: like an hour and a half.

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Speaker 4: No, oh no, wait, doesn't your wife know that it's alive.

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Speaker 2: No, she doesn't know either.

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Speaker 4: I feel like they'd rather know than have.

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Speaker 1: To teach you to the hospital.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's true. Don't you think it would be easier

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Speaker 3: to just like tell the parents that, I mean, you're

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Speaker 3: married to her.

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Speaker 4: It's a funny story.

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Speaker 2: I think like the kind of people they are, they're

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Speaker 2: just so nice. If it's like, first of all, the disappointment,

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Speaker 2: like I think I had to wait another twenty years

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Speaker 2: at least before this is funny time A wow.

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Speaker 3: I feel like if you told them, they wouldn't think

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Speaker 3: it was funny yet.

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Speaker 4: No, I think it was so excited they could eat

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Speaker 4: peanut stuff around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I would make up another lie and just say, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I just did a new allergy test and

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Speaker 1: miracle it's gone. Yeah you know something like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that.

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Speaker 4: They're like, oh my god. When you have grand babies,

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Speaker 4: we just really hope that doesn't get passed down.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think might be onto something some sort of like

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Speaker 3: magic peanut allergy feeling pill.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just like, wow, I don't know what it was.

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Speaker 4: My husband did some treatment for bee allergies where they

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Speaker 4: like give you shots of it. He's been stung a

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Speaker 4: billion times. He still says he's allergic. I've never seen

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Speaker 4: any reaction.

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Speaker 3: Putting bee hives in his bed.

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Speaker 1: Nice, it's our daily beast thing.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, So you don't think you're ever going to

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Speaker 3: tell the parents, at least not for another twenty years,

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Speaker 3: he said, yeah, okay, wow, good luck. My man text

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Speaker 3: in seventy five nine two. If you have a confession

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Speaker 3: you've been holding on to, we'll hide your identity. Master

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Speaker 3: your voice and make you the next mass speaker. We

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Speaker 3: got your phone tap coming

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Speaker 4: Up next, brooking Jeff in the morning,