1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of couch 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy podcast. My name is Kat. 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: I am the host, and couch Talks is the special 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: bonus episode of You Need Therapy where I answer questions 5 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: that listeners send to me and you can send those 6 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: to Katherine at therapypodcast dot com. Now, a quick reminder 7 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: before we get into today's question that although this is 8 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: a podcast hosted by a therapist and I'm answering your questions, 9 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 1: this does not serve as a replacement or substitute for 10 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: any actual mental health services. However, we always hope that 11 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: these episodes can help you some way, somehow wherever you 12 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: are on your journey when you're listening to them. Now, 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: we usually do one question a week, and we always 14 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: keep them anonymous, and we're going to stay with that 15 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: trend today. So I'm going to get right into the 16 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: question and then we're going to talk about some of 17 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: my thoughts about it. So here it is. Hey, Kat, 18 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: I've been with my partner for two years. We have 19 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 1: had our ups and downs, but generally, if you would 20 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,960 Speaker 1: have asked me last week if I planned to marry 21 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: this person, I would have said yes, easily. Things took 22 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: a turn this weekend. I had a weird feeling about 23 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: noticing my partner and that they had been on their 24 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: phone more than usual, and when I made comments about it, 25 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,559 Speaker 1: they just laughed and joked I have a TikTok addiction. Well, 26 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: I ended up going through his phone, and while he 27 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: may be on TikTok too, I also found a text 28 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: thread with him and another woman that I don't know. 29 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: There wasn't anything necessarily sillacious about the conversation, but it 30 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: was very consistent and, in my opinion, very flirty. I 31 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: brought it up, and the conversation ended up being more 32 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: about me not trusting him and breaking his trust by 33 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: going through his phone than his actions and his relationship 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: with this person. I really don't know what to do now, 35 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: and I'm afraid that the right thing to do is 36 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: something that I don't want to do. Do you think 37 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: this is means for a breakup? Or would you encourage 38 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: me to try and work this out with my partner? 39 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: Thanks a lot. Okay, so one, You've had quite the weekend, 40 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: and I'm grateful that you're sending this in and also 41 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: not grateful that this has happened to you. I can't 42 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: imagine almost like the punch in the gut that might 43 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: have felt for you when you opened up his phone 44 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: and found that text thread. Now with that, I don't 45 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: think that there is a right thing to do generally. 46 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: I think that there is a right thing to do 47 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: for you. And I also know that there is so 48 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: much more information that I don't have based on this 49 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: email that is going to help you make this decision. 50 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: And I just want to say, first of all, this 51 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: decision gets to be something that you make and you 52 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: get to take really agency over that. There's a lot 53 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: of power and empowerment in that where if it's something 54 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: that you want to work on, you can do that. 55 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: I want you to be really aware of why and 56 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: what your reasoning behind that is, and if you would, 57 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: if you want to walk away, you get to do that. 58 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: There isn't a right or wrong. People might think that, 59 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: but that is impossible for us to make those very 60 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: clear distinctions on situations that we and when I say we, us, 61 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: the outside world doesn't have the full story on this 62 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: email doesn't give me necessarily the full story. Now, I 63 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: will say the first thing that I noticed when I 64 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: read this was at the beginning, you said generally, if 65 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: you would have asked me if I planned to marry 66 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: this person, I would have easily said yes. I don't 67 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: know if that's just me looking into certain parts of this, 68 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: but it sounds like an odd way to put that, 69 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: and I'm curious what generally means. Generally, if you had 70 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: asked me, is there something behind that word? I sense 71 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: maybe there is more than just this current situation that 72 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: you're emailing me about that's giving you mixed messages about 73 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: the state of your relationship. I kind of get the 74 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: sense that there are other things that have been kind 75 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: of poking at you. And I also get that sense 76 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: because if this is somebody that you trust and you've 77 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: been with for a while and something like this has 78 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: never happened, Yeah, it might be weird somebody's been on 79 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: their phone a little bit more than normal, but that 80 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily mean, hey, I need to get through his phone. 81 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 1: That's kind of a big jump unless there are other 82 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: messages that you've been getting or other things that you've 83 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: experienced in that relationship or maybe in relationships from your past, 84 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: and it was reminding you of that. Now, what I 85 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: would really encourage you to look at. And what I 86 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: would encourage you to do is process some of these things. 87 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: What do you need in order to feel safe and 88 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: cared for moving forward in this relationship? Because I don't 89 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: know if you're feeling that way right now? Is it 90 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: possible to find that here? Is it possible to find 91 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 1: a place where you feel safe and cared for by 92 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: this person in your relationship? Or are you engaging as 93 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: some wishful thinking where you've been kind kind of ignoring 94 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: some you know, yellow flags, red flags, You've been trying 95 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: to see the bright side. You've been trying to give 96 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt time after time after time, 97 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: and maybe it's not possible for you to gain that 98 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: safety and you know, feeling of being cared for and 99 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: thought of and appreciated in your relationship. So is that possible? 100 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: I guess I would first ask is that something you want? 101 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: And I would hope that you would say yes, and too, 102 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: is that possible to find that? And if so, what 103 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: do you need in order to feel that and to 104 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: gain that? And then can you ask for that from 105 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: your partner and how they respond to that? The other 106 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: thing I'm just curious about that I think would help 107 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: you identify if you want to work on this or 108 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: if you are ready to walk away. Is what is 109 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: keeping you in it? This is really big, and I 110 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: think some people answer that really simply and say, well, 111 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: I love this person. That can't just be the answer. 112 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 1: What do you love about this person? Do you feel 113 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: loved by this person? What keeps you in it? Other 114 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: than the fact that you just have feelings of love 115 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,679 Speaker 1: towards us person? What else is encouraging you to stay 116 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: in that relationship? And there's a part of me that 117 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: wants to give examples of answers that might come up, 118 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: but I don't want to put anything in your head 119 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: so other than the love that you maybe feel or 120 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: you don't feel, what is keeping you in that relationship? 121 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: That is going to be a real indicator into if 122 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: this is something that is actually for you and something 123 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: that you can see yourself and want your future self 124 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: to be in, or if it's something that you are 125 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: trying to convince yourself is better than maybe what it is. 126 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: I need to look up where this was from. I 127 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: don't remember exactly what's from, but I saw an article 128 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: recently talking about how one of the reasons people have 129 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: a hard time making decisions for their future selves. Is 130 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: because they don't see themselves their future selves as people 131 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: that they know. They see them as strangers. And it's 132 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: kind of the same idea of you know, it's easier 133 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: for us to do things and go to our way 134 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: for people that we know. And I mean that's with anything. 135 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: It's easier for us to make decisions, and whether that 136 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: is sacrifice or not sacrifice things for people that we 137 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: know than people that we don't know, and we have 138 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: stronger feelings towards those people. That makes sense, And when 139 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: we think of our future selves, we sometimes reference those 140 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: people as strangers. We don't identify with those people because 141 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: there are people we have not met yet. And I 142 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: really want you to take that into account of your 143 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: future self. What kind of relationship do you want your 144 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: future self to be in? What kind of partner do 145 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: you want your future self to be in a relationship with? 146 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: And that might be really helpful. Is that possible with 147 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: the partner that you currently have? And the last thing 148 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to say, and I'm kind of hesitant to 149 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: say this, but I want to say anyway, I'm pretty 150 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: taken aback by the response that you are sharing in 151 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: how your partner responded to you when you confronted them. 152 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: It sounds like you cross the boundary by going through 153 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: their phone. That's fair for that to be a concert 154 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: And at the same time, I don't hear that your 155 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: partner took any responsibility. And maybe they did and you 156 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: just didn't put that in there, But I don't hear 157 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: that your partner took any responsibility for what happened. I'm 158 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: unsure if they are able to admit or willing to 159 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: admit or see that what they did was wrong. I 160 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: think there's a large chance I'm just missing some information. 161 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: And when we do things in relationships where we hurt 162 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,559 Speaker 1: our partners, it's really important for us to be able 163 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: to have compassion for our partners and to be able 164 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: to take responsibility for our part even if there is 165 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: a great reason. Right there might be an awesome reason 166 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: why he's talking to this person, or who knows, I 167 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 1: don't know what. Maybe I encourage this conversation. I also 168 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: don't know the details of the conversation. I know that 169 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: it felt like something that did not feel comfortable for you. 170 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: But regardless, it sounds like there was some hurt that 171 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: you experienced, and I don't know if this person was 172 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: able to take responsibility and show passion for you in 173 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: that it sounds like they were maybe very defensive and 174 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: kind of turned this around on you in a way 175 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: that feels a little bit manipulative in a negative way. 176 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: So that gives me a little bit of a red flag. 177 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 1: And so I do want to say, if you do 178 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: work on this, I would encourage you to make sure 179 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: that you are feeling compassion and there is some remorse 180 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: felt by your partner. Otherwise I don't know. It just 181 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: gives me a really icky feeling that there would be 182 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: no remorse for engaging in a conversation or relationship that 183 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: would be painful or hurtful to their partner. Now, at 184 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: the end of the day, you're allowed to stay and 185 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: leave whatever relationship you want to. I don't have to 186 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: agree with you. Nobody else has to agree with you 187 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: or approve of your decisions other than you, because you 188 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: were the person who was going to be in that 189 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 1: relationship every day. And so that's really about you making 190 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: sure that you are getting what you want and you 191 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: are in the relationship that you want to be in 192 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: versus the relationship other people think that you should be 193 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: in or other people think that you deserve. And if 194 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: you don't believe that you are deserving of a relationship 195 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: where your needs are met, I think that is a 196 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: call for maybe some of your own personal work, and 197 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: I hope that you are able to engage in some 198 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: of that. It doesn't have to be a therapist if 199 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: that's not something that you can afford right now or 200 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: have the resources for. There are other ways for you 201 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 1: to dive into, you know, really knowing your value and 202 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: identifying what it is that you want and finding yourself 203 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: in a place where you know that you deserve those things. 204 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: So I just want to say, at the end of 205 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: the day, you get to make this decision, and I 206 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: want it to be one that is rooted in knowing 207 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: that you are getting what it is that you want 208 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: out of the relationships you have in your life. And 209 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: I am sensing, just by the way that this email 210 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: is written, this is an assumption. I don't know if 211 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: it's true, and I know there's danger in doing that, 212 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: but I am sensing that there's a part of you 213 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: that is maybe looking for permission or direct direction to 214 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: make the decision that you already know that you want 215 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: to make. And I'm not going to tell you what 216 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: to do, but I am going to tell you you're 217 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: allowed to listen to yourself, and you're allowed to trust yourself, 218 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: and you are deserving of relationships that you don't feel confused. 219 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,559 Speaker 1: And so I hope that was helpful. And again, I'm 220 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: really sorry that this is something that you are moving 221 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: through right now. I don't wish this kind of stuff 222 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: on anybody. If you guys have any feedback, questions, comments, 223 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: or anything, know that you can send those to me 224 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,839 Speaker 1: Catherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. You can 225 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: follow us at you Need Therapy Podcasts, and you can 226 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: follow me at Cat dot defata. If you live in 227 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: Tennessee and are looking for a therapist or a counselor 228 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: to work on some of your own personal growth, that 229 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: you can reach out to me or one of my 230 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: therapists at Three Chords Therapy. You can go to three 231 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: Chords Therapy dot com to do that. And if you 232 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: have yet to grab some of the new merch we have, 233 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: you can go to Youdneedtherapy podcast dot com and look 234 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: at some of the stuff we have there for you 235 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: guys to buy for yourselves or maybe for somebody that 236 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:23,440 Speaker 1: you love, a fun gift to encourage somebody with that 237 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: is going to do it for me today. I hope 238 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: you guys are having the day you need to have 239 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: and I will be back with you guys on Monday