1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,119 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. It could be yours. 7 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: You never know, You never know. Buckle love and hold 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here it is 9 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter subject, I just can't do this, Dear Stephen Shirley. 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: I've been dating a man for four years, and I 11 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,279 Speaker 1: asked him to marry me recently because time is of 12 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 1: the essence and I want to have a baby. When 13 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: we met, he told me that I would be his wife. 14 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: I took it to heart, and I overlooked a lot 15 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: of stuff to make our relationship work. I usually wouldn't 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 1: date and overwake man, and I definitely wouldn't date a 17 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: man with halitosis. I invested in him, and I cooked 18 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: for him, worked out with him, and helped him pay 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: for his dental work. Even after he gained most of 20 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: his weight back. I was patient with him. I won't 21 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,119 Speaker 1: say I'm perfect, but I'm too good for him. If 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: I were him, I'd jump at the chance to marry me. 23 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: I can cook, keep a clean house, and be adventurous 24 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: in the bedroom. Well, he didn't get to experience the 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: bedroom part until a year after we met, after he 26 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: lost the weight. He has even told me I'm perfect, 27 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: So I don't see how one little mistake, one little 28 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: mistake on my part, can make him not want to 29 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: marry me. So here's the backstory. I messed around with 30 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: a coworker three times and it was the best sex 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: I ever had, so I decided to share it with 32 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: one of my best girlfriends. We all had a threesome, 33 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: and then she went and told my boyfriend. He gave 34 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: me an ultimatum to stop messing around or I'd lose him. 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: I had invested too much to let him go, so 36 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: I stopped messing around and I cut all ties with 37 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: my hating friend. My man and I were working things out, 38 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: and I decided to ask him to marry me, to 39 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: convince him that I'm all in to this relationship. He 40 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: told me, I just can't do this. How can he 41 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: say that to me? He can't do it? But I've 42 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,639 Speaker 1: been holding on and hoping for a husband for four years. 43 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: I'm not investing this kind of time and to anyone else, 44 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: so this has to work. How do I convince this 45 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 1: man to be my husband? What are you talking about, lady? 46 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: This man is not going to marry you now. He's 47 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 1: not gonna do it, and you have to let this go. 48 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: I mean, too much has happened, he said out of 49 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: his mouth. He can't do it. You said you were 50 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 1: too good for him. So where are we now? What 51 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: are you doing? Are you settling just because time is 52 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: of the essence and you want a baby? Or is 53 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: it because you helped him with his weight and with 54 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: his halitosis and all of that and marriage? Is that 55 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: return on your investment you think? I don't think you're 56 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: really ready to marry this man anyway. If you were, 57 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: you wouldn't have messed around with your co worker for 58 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: no reason at all. I mean, you throw it out 59 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 1: there so casually. So here's the backstory. I messed around, okay, really, 60 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: and then you added your girlfriend into it so you 61 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: guys could have a threesome. What was the point of that? 62 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: How do you expect your man to recover from that? 63 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: If he was considering marrying you, it is over now 64 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:33,399 Speaker 1: Because of that, he doesn't want to marry you. Now 65 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: it's over. That's what you gotta get in your head. 66 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: It's over, Steve, Damn. I wasn't ready for this letter. Right. 67 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 1: Took a turn, didn't it. Yeah? It was a nice 68 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: little letter. I could was feeling fun. Then all of 69 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: a sudden, I don't like a no mo. You know, 70 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: just a lady. I don't know what you want me 71 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: and Shirley to do. Been dating a man for four years. 72 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: Now let me show you how I was reading a letter. 73 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: So you can understand you recently asked a man to 74 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: marry you, because time is of the essence right now. 75 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: He told you when you met that you could be 76 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: his wife, and you took it to heart, and you 77 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: started overlooking a lot of stuff just to make our 78 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: relationship work. First thing you did. I usually wouldn't date 79 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: and overweight man. So now fat boy had opened up 80 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: the whole conversation with oh, I love you, you will 81 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: be my wife. He got to come out the gate 82 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: with both barrels blazing. He got to come out the gate. 83 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: I want to marry you. I want a family, I 84 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: want kids. I take care of you. Ain't got a 85 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: warant for nothing. I love you or your mind forever. 86 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: Is that okay? So he knew he had to come 87 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: out with it because it's ass is fat. Now next problem, 88 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 1: definitely wouldn't date a man with holotosis. See holotosis is 89 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: different than bad brother. See if you got bad breath, 90 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 1: that's just a day. When somebody says you have holotosis, 91 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: they are signing on medical term to what is an 92 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:08,119 Speaker 1: ongoing occurrence. That means every time you open your damn mouth, 93 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 1: here comes something out of it. Now I know for 94 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: a fact this is something he eaten and a combination. 95 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: I know for a fact that's where the hellas came from. Yeah, 96 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: that's fun. Then I invested in him and cooked for him, 97 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 1: worked out with him, and helped him pay for his 98 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: dental work. Nah is deeper. Now we got holes and 99 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,919 Speaker 1: cavities in. Stuff is hiding in the cavities in down 100 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: there turning into something else. So he opening off his 101 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: mouth and sound like a waste management area. So he 102 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: don't know his mouth. You don't know what's coming out, 103 00:05:56,279 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 1: but it's deadly though. It is deadly, and he fat. 104 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: So now he wheezing. I say that people that breathe 105 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: like that. You ever heard somebody breathe like that? Yeah? Yeah, 106 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: one more time, One more time. You'd be saying, is 107 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: you sleep like the sleep dogs? You sleep? But he'd 108 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 1: be wide awake, be reading texts? All right, just stopped up? 109 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: What is? What is wrong? Dog? Is you got de 110 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: hold on? We'll be back with part two of Steve's 111 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: response and his breathing at twenty three minutes to have 112 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: to be our Today's Strawberry Letters. Subject, I just can't 113 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: do this. All right, we'll get back into it right 114 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening show, are you still breathing? Let's 115 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 1: recast Steve the Strawberry Letter for today, subject I just 116 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: can't do this? Okay. Lady dating this fat boy for 117 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: four years and she don't know him to date fat men. 118 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: But he came out to gate and said he wanted 119 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: to marry her. That was intriguing and she wants to 120 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: hold him to it. But he got holotosa. She say. 121 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: Holotosas is a level up from bad breath, bad breathas 122 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: You just got caught out there one day? You know 123 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: what happens to us? All I guess, But if you 124 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: have if they've assigned a medical condition to it. It 125 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: starts saying you have halotosa. That means every time they 126 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: see you, you open your mouth, garbage, hot garbage come 127 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: out your damn mouth. Okay, so now we went over that. 128 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: Now she helped him pay his bills, She cooked for him, 129 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 1: worked out with him, and helped him pay for his 130 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: dental work. Now he got to get work done. Teeth 131 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: moved around, shifting on him and all this hell. Now, 132 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: even after he gained most of his weight back, she 133 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 1: fat boy was not committed to this program. You took 134 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: him down too fast, she said, even after he gave 135 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: most of his weight back. I was patient with it. 136 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I'm perfect, because you know she got 137 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: some flaws too, right, But I'm too good for him. 138 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: If I were him, I jump at the chance to 139 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: marry me. I can cook, so you know, see s 140 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: a little thick. I can cook, keep a clean house, 141 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: and be adventurous in the bed. Well, he didn't get 142 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 1: the experience that bedroom part till after year after we met. Yeah, 143 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: but even when he did see you said something else 144 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: and that you adventurous in the bedroom. Now he fat, 145 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: fat people ain't that adventurous, you know, all this, all this, 146 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: you ain't hit all this. You inn't here with all 147 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: this here. I'm just trying to get over here and 148 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: get this to get done. You know you're all this, 149 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: all this work I'm doing right here. You see me sweating. 150 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: I want to stand up today. That says adventurous as 151 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: I need to get why you want to stand up 152 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: because I'm tired of climbing back out that bed. It's 153 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. So now you ain't here doing 154 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: monkey flips, and he ain't with none of this. Now 155 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: you're thinking everything is on her side, and then he 156 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: has even told you that you perfect. So I don't 157 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: see how one little mistake on my part can make 158 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: him not want to marry me. Oh, he would go. 159 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: So here's the backstory. She messed around with a coworker 160 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: three times. If the best sect she ever had? Why 161 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: he was in shape. So it was so good that 162 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,319 Speaker 1: you shared it with one of your best girlfriends, She said, girl, 163 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: what now y'all over there having a threesol. Then she 164 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: went and told your boyfriend fat boy, he gave you 165 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: an ultimatum to stop messing around or I lose him. 166 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: I had invested too much to let him go. So 167 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: I stopped messing around. I cut all ties with my 168 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: hating friend. My man and I was working things out, 169 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: and I decided to ask him to marry me, to 170 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: convince him that I'm all into this relationship. He told me, 171 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: I just, I just, I just I just can't do 172 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: this one more time, one more time. I listen, I just, 173 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: I just, I just can't do this here you all 174 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: these people, now, you should up been saying, How can 175 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: he say that to me? He can't do it. I've 176 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: been holding on and hoping for a husband for four years. 177 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm not investing this type of time into anybody else. 178 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: So this has to work. How do I convince this 179 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: man to be my husband? You're not, You're not, You're not. 180 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: It's over with a couple of things. First of all, 181 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: you do threesomes. You do threesomes. Now that's hard on 182 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:45,199 Speaker 1: the fat man because now he gotta watch everybody here. 183 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: He don't know if you're looking at him or her. 184 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 1: Now he just he on point. He can't even eat 185 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: his dinner. Who wore he looking at? Well? Who's she 186 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: looking at? Who? Looking over here? He looking over here? 187 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: Why is they looking over here? Why is all these 188 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: people looking you know here. Have you ever met her too? 189 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: You know her too? Have you seen him before? Where 190 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: was y'all that together? Y'all probably had another threesomes. He 191 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: can't even meet his food. He probably losing weight right 192 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: now because he at the restaurant looking at everybody, watching you, 193 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: trying to figure out which one you want, because once 194 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: you do threesomes, you wants everybody. She's one thing for 195 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: a man to have to watch out for another man, 196 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: But when you got to watch out for the men 197 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: and the women, the waiters, the matre d the owner 198 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: of the club, the uber driver, it's just too damn much. 199 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,239 Speaker 1: The people in that passing our mits in the bathroom, 200 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: the shoe shine man, the valet. Who you want? They 201 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: all in him? Your ex, my ex, they exs what 202 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 1: you want? The pass of the pass of wife. Wasn't 203 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: we're in there for you. You're all in the tenor section, 204 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 1: soprano section. You see me without tones, bad tones? What's 205 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: going on in him? It's too much, It's too much, 206 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: It's over, he said, I just can't do this. Listen 207 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: to me. Judge Lynn tolda told me the best advice 208 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: I've ever heard on my show. One day she said, 209 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 1: don't let him man have to tell you twice he 210 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:16,319 Speaker 1: don't want you. I've told y'all this, Don't let him 211 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: man have to tell you twice he don't want you. 212 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 1: He watching too much, So let his fat ass, bad 213 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: breath having land go a head on. He ain't gonna 214 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: get nobody else here that breathing or queezing and stuff. 215 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: And the whole time he was telling you, baby, I'm sorry, 216 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: I was seeing this other man. Who who was he? Who? 217 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:49,839 Speaker 1: Who was he doing that? I can't do? What? What 218 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: was she in that doing? Folk too? What she? All? Right? Listen? 219 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: Post your comments on hold on, Baby, hand me my 220 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: of a coffee. Strawberry Letter at stefort, Instagram and Facebook. 221 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,839 Speaker 1: Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Open up 222 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 1: in forty six minutes after the hour, we'll have a 223 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: sports talk with Junior. Right after this. You're listening to 224 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 1: the Stave Harvey Morning Show.