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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So we'll stick around two minutes and

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Speaker 1: we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My mother in law thinks I stole her son. Now

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Speaker 3: she's turning her family against me.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should put it back, then put them back.

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Speaker 3: So me, eighteen female and my boyfriend nineteen Maile have

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Speaker 3: been together for almost two years. We have known each

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Speaker 3: other since fifth grade, became good friends somewhere in elementary

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Speaker 3: school that only dated since tenth grade with a break

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Speaker 3: during the summer, so we could solve some personal issues.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from ELI two two to two,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it. So initially

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Speaker 3: his mother liked me and wanted to meet and have

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Speaker 3: a conversation, but it all went downhill last year when

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Speaker 3: I didn't recognize her and didn't greet her. Since then,

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Speaker 3: I've been disrespectful in her eyes. From that moment, She's

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Speaker 3: started picking fights whenever me and my boyfriend hung out.

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Speaker 3: Last year, I moved alone into my parents' apartment, and

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Speaker 3: I proposed to my boyfriend to have sleepovers once a week,

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Speaker 3: since we didn't have a car yet and we only

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Speaker 3: hang out outside of mall's.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you proposed, I know.

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Speaker 3: I thought, yeah, I was like propose and then who know,

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Speaker 3: proposed to have sleepovers?

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Speaker 4: Icy.

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Speaker 3: He was on board, but on the night he had

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Speaker 3: to come, his mother started guilt tripping him about.

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Speaker 5: Leaving her all alone or not caring about his sick

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Speaker 5: grandma and how not having him there well un alive. Yes,

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Speaker 5: him being gone for one night will end his grandma

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Speaker 5: checks out.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, grandma wouldn't want that. Yeah, grandma probably doesn't even notice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, grandma's If grandma's that sick, she is not aware

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Speaker 3: that her grandson is in and out of yah at all.

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Speaker 3: A boyfriend lives with his mom and grandma. The plan

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Speaker 3: was abolished and we only hung out during the day.

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Speaker 3: Around this time, she started insulting me to my boyfriend

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Speaker 3: in many ways. Some examples are substance youth are because

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Speaker 3: she heard me and boyfriend on the phone when she

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Speaker 3: tried to guilt trip him again. Cult test because apparently

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Speaker 3: a man can only leave his mom when he's in

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Speaker 3: a cult. Gold digger because my boyfriend brought me gifts

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Speaker 3: for my birthday and anniversary. Yes, of he, the eighteen

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Speaker 3: year old is a gold digger for being in a

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Speaker 3: relationship with a nineteen.

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Speaker 2: Year old who I can guarantee has little to no money. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he has no assets.

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Speaker 3: Which because I will for sure cheat on him. Pasn't

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Speaker 3: because my parents moved to the countryside to work in

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Speaker 3: agriculture and many others.

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Speaker 2: She's a grasping at straw what peasant because your family's

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Speaker 2: like farmers. That's insane, that's crazy.

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Speaker 6: Also part of a cult. Leaving your mom for another woman,

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Speaker 6: that's called marriage.

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Speaker 2: That's just called marriage. Girl.

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Speaker 3: Of course, my boyfriend started picking fights because of this

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Speaker 3: behavior with her, and all the hopes of a relationship

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Speaker 3: with her crumbled. Meanwhile, father in law bought him a

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Speaker 3: car and we started going away on holidays or having

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Speaker 3: sleepovers on occasion like my birthday, New Year, anniversary, et CETERA.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward half a year, since I want to get

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Speaker 3: to the point of the story. There haven't been any

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Speaker 3: major conflicts during this time, only insults.

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Speaker 2: Mostly.

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Speaker 3: Me and boyfriend finished our final high school exam. He

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Speaker 3: turned nineteen and we graduated. We had a sleepover for

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Speaker 3: his nineteenth birthday where she tried to guilt trip him again, saying, instead.

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Speaker 2: Of starting this new chapter of your life together, you

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Speaker 2: go and start it with somebody else. Your mother is

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Speaker 2: obsessed with you, dude.

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Speaker 3: This is like Oedipus, but like and in this version

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Speaker 3: of Oedipus, your mom is actually obsessed with you.

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Speaker 6: I thought, what's that a motel baits hotel, bait hotel

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Speaker 6: that the bab baits yeah, or something like that bits

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Speaker 6: in a motel or hotel?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Is it that?

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Speaker 3: It's that which to alarm bells for both of us

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Speaker 3: because of emotional genetic copy pasting bs we've seen all

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Speaker 3: over the internet with boy. Mom's boyfriend got an incredible

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Speaker 3: ick from this and came over with no problems.

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Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I gotta go.

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Speaker 3: He got better over the months with managing her guilt tripping.

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Speaker 3: I feel like when she lays it on that thick.

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Speaker 3: I mean like sometimes I like further and further into

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Speaker 3: this hole of being like, oh, yeah, I have to

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Speaker 3: listen to what my mom says. But sometimes they lay

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Speaker 3: it on so thick. You're like, oh, my mom's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Ooh.

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Speaker 3: A week later, we decided to do the big step

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Speaker 3: with a form of moving in together, staying together from

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Speaker 3: Thursday to Monday every week, so not actually fully moving

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Speaker 3: in together, it seems, which she had known about since

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Speaker 3: I got the apartment. She freaked out and tried everything

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Speaker 3: to make him stay home, bringing his grandma into this

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Speaker 3: and everything.

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Speaker 2: Your grandma's gonna die.

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Speaker 3: You've got to live your grandma, dude. The week went fine,

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Speaker 3: and he only had to deal with a ton of

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Speaker 3: guilt tripping and false crying when he got home. A

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Speaker 3: crucial de is that she's a singer but barely gets

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Speaker 3: any concerts, maybe because she sucks, but I don't know.

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Speaker 3: She signed a contract for a concert Saturday across the country,

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Speaker 3: and she expected her son to drive her there without

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Speaker 3: any confirmation. Boyfriend said that he won't drive her, but

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Speaker 3: she started again with immense skilt tripping, crying, screaming, basically

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Speaker 3: throwing a tantrum. That same night, we almost fought because

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Speaker 3: he's tired of this behavior and just wants to get

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Speaker 3: it done so she can leave him alone. But I'm

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Speaker 3: against the idea of keeping the peace when she keeps

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Speaker 3: pulling conflicts out of nowhere.

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Speaker 6: Dude, this is wild. Yeah, her name a country you'd

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Speaker 6: be okay with driving your mam across? What country is

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Speaker 6: so small that you'd be okay with driving your mom across?

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Speaker 2: Uh? Oh, Vatican? Ah, I would go further from my mother.

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Speaker 6: I know, I was just a recent last minute, I'll

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Speaker 6: drive you across the country.

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Speaker 2: What country would you have to be in at that moment?

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Speaker 2: Let us know, folks, what country would you be okay

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Speaker 2: driving your mom across? Last minute? Same story.

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Speaker 3: Boyfriend goes to pick me up from my parents on

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Speaker 3: Thursday so we can go home, but unexpectedly, his mother

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Speaker 3: calls me. She got the number from his phone when

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Speaker 3: he was sleeping and threatened to call me and my

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Speaker 3: parents many times. The condo went like this shortened because

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Speaker 3: I don't remember every word. We talked for four minutes.

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Speaker 3: Hi Eli, Hi, H'm boyfriend's mom.

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Speaker 7: Okay, I think you heard that I signed a contract

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Speaker 7: for ex city and boyfriend needs to drive me for that.

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Speaker 7: He told me he can't drive me his mom because

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Speaker 7: he had to attend some party and stay with you.

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Speaker 2: For the weekend. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I don't understand why you're calling me and how you

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Speaker 6: have my number. I'm pretty sure this is a dispute

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Speaker 6: with your adult son, who can choose for himself, not

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Speaker 6: with me. And I'm pretty sure he has no obligation

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Speaker 6: towards something that wasn't communicated and agreed upon with him.

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Speaker 2: Don't you hear yourself?

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Speaker 5: He can't try makee me confu foar forced him to

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Speaker 5: leave with my manging and touch your razer voice on me.

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Speaker 6: I'm not raising my voice and I don't think your

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Speaker 6: son can be forced at eighteen. You can go by train.

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Speaker 6: I can send you the links for booking a ticket

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Speaker 6: if it's so hard to find alternatives, And don't try

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Speaker 6: to parent me. Not even my mom does that. And

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Speaker 6: do you think you can?

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Speaker 2: You want me to go by train with luggage for

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Speaker 2: an entire day while he drives you around. That's it.

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Speaker 3: I'm calling your parents to tell him about this, mind you.

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Speaker 3: I was respectful during the entire conversation, just fed up

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Speaker 3: with her drama, especially calling me to complain about her

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Speaker 3: non existent relationship with boyfriend. After this, I texted her

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Speaker 3: that my parents are busy people and to not even

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Speaker 3: try to bother them with this, since they'll take my

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Speaker 3: and my boyfriend's side.

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Speaker 6: My favorite part of this altercation. She had asked permission

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Speaker 6: for opee, which is another woman basically wrangling the sun around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for the permission. He can't choose herself. It's exactly yeah.

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Speaker 3: It's like, oh no, I have to get you to

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Speaker 3: give him permission otherwise he won't listen.

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Speaker 2: It's like he has a new owner now. So I

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Speaker 2: got a nineteen, he's nineteen. He's making his own choices.

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Speaker 6: I didn't know you could make your own choices in nineteen.

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Speaker 6: I thought you had to be like twenty.

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Speaker 3: I thought, yeah, I thought you you became an adult

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Speaker 3: at twenty one.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, something like that. I was like, wait, I don't

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Speaker 6: have to listen to what more mom says. That's just advice.

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Speaker 3: Way, She continued to text me about how she is

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Speaker 3: his mom, it priority, et cetera. One text that stuck

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Speaker 3: was I raised him and it would be nice for

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Speaker 3: this to do the same, which had us disgusted once again.

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Speaker 3: The conversation ended with a text from me telling her

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Speaker 3: to lose my number and to stop this whole show

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Speaker 3: because we're all adults. Meanwhile, boyfriend called her, told her

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Speaker 3: she's out of line, stupid, and to stay away from

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Speaker 3: his relationship. She didn't talk with him for the entire weekend,

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Speaker 3: but Friday afternoon, father in law called because mother in

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Speaker 3: law called him. Eat up and discuss this. Mother in

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Speaker 3: law told father in law that boyfriend ran away from home,

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Speaker 3: that he disrespected her and encouraged me to do the same,

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Speaker 3: that she has no one by her side now, and

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Speaker 3: if he can drive her to her concert on Saturday,

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Speaker 3: she's going to anyone. Girl, Just get a train to train,

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Speaker 3: get anything ai, Yeah, come on girl. Saturday morning, his

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Speaker 3: cousin and aunt called boyfriend and asked to meet up

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Speaker 3: to talk. They met up in the evening and discussed

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Speaker 3: the whole situation. She insisted on him still being by

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Speaker 3: his mother's side, but also understanding how difficult she is,

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Speaker 3: that we can be together, but family comes first, or

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Speaker 3: that she wants to meet me because she doesn't believe

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Speaker 3: I am as bad as mother in law makes me look.

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Speaker 3: Boyfriend went home yesterday, but mother in law said she's

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Speaker 3: too tired to talk. Yeah, sure, and that she'll have

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Speaker 3: a conversation with him tomorrow. Overall, boyfriend is pretty overwhelmed

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Speaker 3: and mad, and I'm just upset. I have an okay

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Speaker 3: relationship with father in law. We talk on video call

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Speaker 3: from time to time when boyfriend stays with me, and

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Speaker 3: kind of that's all. He's not a reliable person in

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Speaker 3: this whole ordeal, so we keep our distance. His aunt

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Speaker 3: is okay ish. I've never had a conversation with her,

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Speaker 3: but she's from my countryside, so I heard things about

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Speaker 3: her from my dad and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious. I don't think you have to like he

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Speaker 2: has to listen to his aunt. Yeah, no, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think you like have that conversation with him, and you know,

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Speaker 2: continue being on his side and saying whatever you want

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Speaker 2: to do is fine by me. But you know your

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Speaker 2: your mother doesn't get to treat you like this. You

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Speaker 2: don't get a just deal.

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Speaker 3: You don't have to deal with her kind of terrible

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Speaker 3: attitude and terrible behavior.

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Speaker 2: Bag boy, drive me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not okay. You're an adult. She doesn't get

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Speaker 3: to demand things from you.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, how does it get to this point.

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's probably been this way her whole his whole life, true,

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Speaker 3: and it's just about getting her way. And she's like

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Speaker 3: the sweetest person when she gets away and then OP

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Speaker 3: slightly offends her and she's like, well, now, you're my

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Speaker 3: enemy for a life.

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Speaker 2: Out of here. Oh dude, mothers, don't behave like that. Please,

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Speaker 2: don't do this. Don't behave like this.

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Speaker 3: Don't treat your your son like your husband, like you

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Speaker 3: have this weird possessive relationship with.

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Speaker 2: Him, like that's weird. It's not okay, But there is

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Speaker 2: an update.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law cried and tried to hug boyfriend during

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Speaker 3: the whole conversation. Boyfriend said that there's gonna be stronger

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Speaker 3: boundaries from now on that he will not accept being

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Speaker 3: disrespected or hearing her talk crap about our relationship or me.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law tried to protest, saying she was the

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Speaker 3: one disrespected when I told her to go by train

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Speaker 3: and when I shouted at her. But boyfriend shut that

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Speaker 3: up quickly by pointing out he said the same thing.

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Speaker 3: Why is it disrespectful when I do it but not

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Speaker 3: when he does? Because she's in love with her son.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law tried to insist that no family of

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Speaker 3: theirs likes me. She doesn't like me because I'm disrespectful

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Speaker 3: and drift boyfriend away from them. Father in law doesn't

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Speaker 3: like me simply because he doesn't like me. Butternal grandma

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Speaker 3: doesn't like me because both times I came to her place,

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Speaker 3: I had a.

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Speaker 8: Full face up makeup on the horror Oh my goodness wow.

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Speaker 8: And the aunt from the previous story won't accept someone

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Speaker 8: with my behavior because she has a son the same

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Speaker 8: age's boyfriend. Boyfriend said he doesn't believe her since she

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Speaker 8: constantly lies to make her story more appealing, and that

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Speaker 8: if they really think about me like this, then contact

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Speaker 8: is going to be limited. He won't be close with

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Speaker 8: people who disrespect his girlfriend and relationship.

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Speaker 2: Dude, good is your boyfriend?

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, we don't often. We always have like

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Speaker 3: stories where we have like a son who's super enmeshed

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Speaker 3: with his family and stuff and always listens to his mommy.

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Speaker 3: And usually those guys are much older than your boyfriend

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Speaker 3: this guy, and he's reacting a lot more. He's acting

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Speaker 3: a lot more maturely than those guys are. Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: pops to him for that.

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Speaker 6: Because there's a point where the family's like, we don't

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Speaker 6: like her because of X, Y and Z.

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Speaker 2: But everything they're saying is false. It doesn't sound right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, if your whole family doesn't like your partner,

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Speaker 3: maybe like look at why what they're saying, see if

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Speaker 3: there's any.

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Speaker 2: Truth to that. But sometimes it's like, oh, it's just

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Speaker 2: the whole family. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Boyfriend told mother in law about his perspective of the situation, girlfriend,

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Speaker 3: wanting to stand up for him when his own mother

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Speaker 3: pushes boundaries and my perspective. Mother in law randomly calling

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Speaker 3: me to complain and gaslight me, then getting mad when

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Speaker 3: I don't bend over. He said, insults about me are

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Speaker 3: of course off limits, and this will never be up

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Speaker 3: for discussion, not even if I did something bad to him.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law try to defend herself, saying she'll stop

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Speaker 3: the insults, then I stop insulting her, telling her to

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Speaker 3: take the train as an insult. Now, apparently boyfriend shut

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Speaker 3: that BS down. This was the longest point in their conversation.

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Speaker 3: But it doesn't include me. You can skip it if

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Speaker 3: you want. Mother in law strressed him about his futures,

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Speaker 3: saying it's time to choose a UNI and a career path.

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Speaker 3: Every time somebody asks boyfriend about his future plans, he

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Speaker 3: just says, I don't know, or I'll figure it out,

288
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Speaker 3: because who has their life figured out at nineteen? All

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Speaker 3: his family insists on police academy four years or police

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Speaker 3: school ten months. Boyfriend's opened to police school to some degree,

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Speaker 3: but doesn't like the fact that he will only come

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Speaker 3: home once every two weeks. His mother will try to

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Speaker 3: guilt trip him into staying those days with her instead

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Speaker 3: of me. We will be separated for ten months by

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Speaker 3: two hundred and fifty kilometers. Definitely European, because if they

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Speaker 3: were in Canada that would be crazy to go across

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Speaker 3: the country.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, definitely.

299
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Speaker 3: European, and pretty much the aspect of being a policeman sucks.

300
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Speaker 3: He's in it for the salary he gets right out

301
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Speaker 3: of school if he gets the job in or near

302
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Speaker 3: our city. Mother in law found out where my parents live,

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Speaker 3: and boyfriend got mad and said that if she steps

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Speaker 3: foot near their house, he will move out and cut off.

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Speaker 3: I'll contact with her until she passes away. Oh my god,

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Speaker 3: good honestly good on. Yeah, he's putting up those boundaries.

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Speaker 3: They're strong boundaries. Don't go harassed my girlfriend's parents. Mother

308
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,600
Speaker 3: in law panicked and said she won't go there. Why

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Speaker 3: would she try to find their address then, because she's

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Speaker 3: not the type to start conflicts, or she.

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Speaker 2: Called your parents to try to dispute it. I don't

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Speaker 2: think did she call She did, I'm gonna call your parents,

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Speaker 2: she threatened out, Oh yeah, I don't know if she

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Speaker 2: had their phone numbers. I think she was just threatening things. Overall.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law is trying to act nice right now

316
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,800
Speaker 3: so she can get boyfriend's trust back what happened, or

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Speaker 3: to get them in a comfortable position to start in

318
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Speaker 3: argument again. Now to some minor parts of the story,

319
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,560
Speaker 3: mother in law insists I'm dragging boyfriend down and that

320
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Speaker 3: his academic performance went down since he's been dating me.

321
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Speaker 3: She asked about my final exam grade and was bitter

322
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Speaker 3: when she heard I got an eight point eight five

323
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Speaker 3: boyfriend got an eight point eight eight. But I still

324
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Speaker 3: think she's in denial about it.

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Speaker 2: Boom, But there is a little bit left to this story.

326
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Speaker 2: I know one of you has been in a situation

327
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Speaker 2: like this before with a crazy mother in law.

328
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Speaker 6: I feel like I kind of have where my ex's

329
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 6: parents didn't want me around because her brother didn't like me. Yikes,

330
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Speaker 6: and so he's like, hey, you have to leave now

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Speaker 6: he's coming home.

332
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Speaker 2: You have to leave. That's so weird.

333
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Speaker 6: It really was weird, and I could have I couldn't

334
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Speaker 6: go out the same exit he was coming in.

335
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Speaker 2: What Yeah, because he was going to like fighting.

336
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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. If I with parents

337
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 3: that kid, I'd be like, gin you get over it.

338
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,920
Speaker 2: He was twenty seven that still living with his parents.

339
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 2: I had a full salary. It's crazy. Wow, he was jealous.

340
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's weird. That was a weird. That

341
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 2: guy was not really set up for success by his family.

342
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 2: Now and the mother in law is trying to rest

343
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 2: not set up for her son for success. But uh,

344
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Speaker 2: he's you're doing great, dude.

345
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Speaker 3: You're you're trying to get out of there. You're trying

346
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 3: to set those boundaries keep going. Yeah, seemingly got a

347
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 3: nice girlfriend and op and just you know, find the

348
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 3: family members who are on your side and kind of

349
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Speaker 3: keep your distance from the.

350
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Speaker 2: Ones that aren't. Boom.

351
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 3: Mother in law told boyfriend about how much father in

352
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 3: law hates me. Boyfriend is taking this with a grain

353
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,560
Speaker 3: of salt, but is still extremely concerned and angry, so

354
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 3: he refused to meet with father in law or let

355
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Speaker 3: him speak to me until they have a conversation and

356
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 3: boyfriend figures out who's lying. As of today, mother in

357
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 3: law has mostly respected boundaries no fights, no calls during

358
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 3: our days together.

359
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,440
Speaker 2: Nothing. Boyfriend hasn't talked to father in law yet since

360
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 2: he has distanced himself from him a lot. Grandma, mother

361
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 2: in law's mom, gave boyfriend money with the condition that

362
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 2: he leaves me. Yikes.

363
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,399
Speaker 3: Oh, so the grandma is also on mom's side. She's like,

364
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 3: I take this money, take it and leave her, or

365
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 3: I'll pass away and it'll be your faulty.

366
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 2: Well, it's inherited, like inherited, I guess, yeah, because you

367
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 2: brought up, you're gonna your grandma if you don't come home.

368
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 2: Grandma gave that I did it her, but he.

369
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:08,720
Speaker 7: Usued being that excuse strns really sticking in there.

370
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 3: What mother in law started arguing with her to shut

371
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,800
Speaker 3: up about me. Oh okay, now she's on your res'

372
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 3: side because she knows what will happen if she's not

373
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 3: or boyfriend will not come home to the him anymore.

374
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 3: So the conversation she had with boyfriend probably struck a nerve.

375
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 3: At least it worked, you know, she like very clearly

376
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 3: thinks that her relationship, you know, prizes her relationship with

377
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 3: her son dude in a very unhealthy way.

378
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,760
Speaker 2: But how many, how many jars. Is this guy opening

379
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,159
Speaker 2: around the house? Yeah? How many light bulbs is this

380
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:38,880
Speaker 2: man fixing?

381
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 8: Hey?

382
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, yay? How many plumbing his shoes is he taken

383
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 2: tending to I don't know.

384
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 3: It's too helpful around the house. But uh, that is

385
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,880
Speaker 3: the end of that story. Keep doing what you're doing. Ope,

386
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 3: and your boyfriend keep doing what he's doing.

387
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 2: And this is a sign not to be so helpful

388
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,119
Speaker 2: around the house. Yeah, I don't know. That's why I

389
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 2: have to helped Sophia out in months. Uh this lender

390
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,360
Speaker 2: get used to me not being her No, not bad.

391
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 3: Anyway, that's the end of that story, So we're gonna

392
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 3: jump into the next one.

393
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 2: My mother in law loves the guilt trip me. I

394
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 2: don't know what to do. Guilt trip her back?

395
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 6: My husband thirty mail and I thirty female. I've been

396
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,400
Speaker 6: having a bit of trouble with my mother in law

397
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 6: fifties female since the birth of my son two mail.

398
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 6: To lay the base, my mother in law runs an

399
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 6: in home licensed daycare. She keeps as small with a

400
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:32,000
Speaker 6: narrow age range because that's what she's comfortable with. She

401
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 6: currently has four children, one and a half day other

402
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 6: than my son that visits she hasn't had more than

403
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,880
Speaker 6: four children in her daycare since I've known my husband.

404
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from It's Levi essay and

405
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 6: if you want to smit your old stories, go to

406
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 6: the r slash.

407
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 2: Okay, storytime supredded.

408
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 6: So when I was pregnant with my son, my mother

409
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 6: in law kept telling us and everyone at any chance

410
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 6: that we got, how fortunate we are to have her

411
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 6: around because she would get free daycare. It was a

412
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,919
Speaker 6: nice thought, and I appreciate it that she seemed like

413
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 6: she would always be there for us to help us out.

414
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,159
Speaker 6: I also have a mother and three sisters, all of

415
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 6: whom who are nannies. By the way, yeah, she's got options.

416
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 2: So piece like that's nice. You're one of one of many.

417
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,879
Speaker 2: Thank you, though, good lie.

418
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 6: After my son was born, we only got two visits

419
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 6: during the newborn period from hers, by her living twenty

420
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 6: minutes away. She said that was because I had family

421
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 6: around that would help, so she didn't think we needed her.

422
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 6: When she did visit, instead of bringing food, helping clean,

423
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 6: or watching the baby so we could all rest, all

424
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 6: she and my father in law wanted to do was

425
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 6: play board games with us, and I found it odd

426
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 6: and exhausting, but accepted it as one of her quirks.

427
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 6: I was just happy that she was around. As my

428
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 6: son got older, it became clear that my mother in

429
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 6: law was not at all comfortable with newborns. She didn't

430
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 6: want to watch him without one of us around, which

431
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 6: again was fine, but she did judge every call we

432
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 6: made in regard to our son. We were burping him

433
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 6: too hard, you'll make his heart stop. That went as

434
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 6: far as asking what certifications the nurse who had told

435
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 6: us that we were in fact burping correctly.

436
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 2: Let me see what school that nurse went to. Yeah,

437
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 2: She's like, I'll buy it. Girl, You're not even comfortable

438
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 2: holding the baby. What do you know? Looks crazy because

439
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 2: you were a parent. How are you're not comfortable holding

440
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 2: a baby? Yeah? Weird? I want to listen to anything.

441
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: I'd be like, uh, thank you. But if you're not

442
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 2: gonna be helpful, then I got three other people here. Yeah,

443
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 2: who can be? I don't know. I mean my niece.

444
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 6: I think I could hang out with my newborn niece,

445
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 6: but she starts crying, I'm gonna be Uncomfortable'm like.

446
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 2: What do I do? Poop?

447
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 6: She even called my mother to tattle on me for

448
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 6: propping a bottle for him, because that's not up to

449
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 6: daycare standards.

450
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 3: Dude, she's not even at daycare or oh wait, what

451
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 3: does she say for propping them propping.

452
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 2: Up a bottle? It's not up to daycare standards, dude.

453
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: Is she at the daycare when I'm so, she's at

454
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 2: home feeding your kids.

455
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 3: She's at home and the ground. The mother's like, that's

456
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 3: not daycast down. She's like, I'm not add the daycare.

457
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

458
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 6: Then, at any family gathering we attended, she would literally

459
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 6: just come up and snatch my son from my arms

460
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 6: and hold him so everyone could see her holding him.

461
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just doing the lion king. She's like, see

462
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 2: I have the child. Oh my gosh, dude. Again whatever,

463
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 2: it's her thing.

464
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 6: I guess I was really annoyed that she would just

465
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 6: snatch him without asking or even signaling that she wanted him,

466
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 6: But I wasn't going to make a fight over wanting

467
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 6: to hold my son. I feel now that she's getting

468
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 6: more and more controlling as the years have gone by.

469
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 6: I guess it's closer she's getting daycare age. Yeah, it's

470
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 6: gonna be way more controlling.

471
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 2: Yup.

472
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 7: Yeah.

473
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 3: The second that that kid can go into daycare, she's like,

474
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 3: can bright me's mine ring ring the child.

475
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 6: My mother in law has begrudgingly watched my son on

476
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 6: the odd day that I need to get something done,

477
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 6: I'm gonna stay at home. It was never my plan,

478
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 6: but it just kind of happened, starting around one and

479
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 6: a half, with a little consistency like once a week,

480
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 6: sometimes twice. Then it morphed into if he stays, I

481
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 6: should stay too and help her out. Basically, it's turned

482
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 6: to me being her unpaid assistant whatever my son is

483
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 6: in daycare. You think that's how she often says what

484
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 6: a huge favor she's doing for us when she watches him,

485
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,199
Speaker 6: that he's a bad kid, or spoiled or something. He

486
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 6: really isn't. He's intelligent, a guid. Everyone that spends time

487
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 6: with my son falls in love with him. He's also

488
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 6: well spoken for a two year old. Even says hello

489
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 6: and thank you, often without even being asked to do so.

490
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 6: There have been several times that I've been frustrated with

491
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 6: her because she's canceled on me or changes the plan

492
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 6: without telling me.

493
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 2: For example, when my son was.

494
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 6: A few months old, she was going to come and

495
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 6: take me shopping or something while my husband spent some

496
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 6: time canoeing with my father fun. She told me she

497
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 6: would pick me up right after church in the morning.

498
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 6: She decided without telling me, she would spend the morning

499
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 6: with her husband and go late to church. So I'm

500
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 6: left with an infant who I'm not sure if I

501
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 6: should put down for a nap because his grandma is

502
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 6: supposed to be there to pick us up.

503
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 2: My husband and I share one car. She later insists

504
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 2: it wasn't a big deal because she just changed the

505
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 2: plan to accommodate her husband. Oh lovely, Mmmm, not the

506
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 2: person you're gonna pick up it's Opie's husband. Okay, yeah, yeah,

507
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: she's not. She doesn't care about like actually helping take

508
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 2: care of ever your kid. She just didn't seem to

509
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 2: understand that I didn't care what she did, or even

510
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: that she was late. I just find it rude changing

511
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 2: plans or cancel without communicating or getting time to accommodate.

512
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 2: She often canceled a daycare day for my son while

513
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: I was getting him ready to go into the car.

514
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 2: Literally every time she's canceled on me, it's been this short.

515
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: I honestly.

516
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 3: I mean, I know it's really hard to get childcare for,

517
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 3: you know, your kids, but I feel like it's kind

518
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 3: of like a.

519
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 2: Three strikes rule. Okay, if she's left.

520
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 3: You in a lerge multiple times with this short of notice,

521
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 3: I feel like you gotta find someone else who's more

522
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 3: reliable and just be like, hey, I understand, you know

523
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 3: you want to help out, but you're not reliable and

524
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 3: I need someone who is.

525
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. This all kind of came

526
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 6: to a boiling point this weekend, after two years of this.

527
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 6: She had agreed to watch my son on Saturday so

528
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 6: my husband and I could go to my aunt's fiftieth

529
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 6: birthday party. I also had to go to a baby

530
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 6: shower that same morning, which I was bringing my son to.

531
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 6: My husband had to work that morning. She sent me

532
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 6: a text while I was at this baby shower. Hi,

533
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 6: I'm really sick with the severe cold and sore throat,

534
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 6: so I can't talk. Do you want grandson around me?

535
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 2: Also?

536
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 6: If I get worse, I'm not sure if I'll be

537
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 6: able to watch him. I was again annoyed.

538
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: Do you want grandson around me? Is so like, well,

539
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 3: you know, if you're a good parent. You wouldn't You

540
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 3: wouldn't subject your son to me to my sickness. I

541
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 3: feel like she's not even sick.

542
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 2: No, she probably isn't. She's probably got like a sniffle.

543
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: Hey could drop on the phone real quick. Yeah, hey,

544
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 2: call you. It's just like yikes.

545
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 6: I wasn't annoyed, but this was the first time that

546
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 6: she gave me more than an hour's warning. So I

547
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 6: forded the text to my husband so we could see

548
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,719
Speaker 6: if his coworker, who has been asking to watch our

549
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 6: son was available. She was on vacation, so she was out.

550
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 2: Dang.

551
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 6: I got out of the baby shower after my husband

552
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 6: had gotten off work. I needed a nap because I'm

553
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 6: thirty three weeks pregnant and I've been exhausted. And his

554
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 6: mother proceeds to call and yell at us for not

555
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 6: calling her immediately to check and see how she's feeling.

556
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 2: You just said he could watched him. Basically, Yeah, I

557
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 2: just think you didn't. Yeah. I just told you I

558
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 2: was sick and you didn't call it.

559
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's calling to yell at you with her

560
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 3: with her law your wait a second, Yeah, the voice

561
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 3: that she supposedly doesn't have a Sophia.

562
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,640
Speaker 2: Did she say she'd have a voice, Yeah, she did

563
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 2: say that.

564
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 5: Funny.

565
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,080
Speaker 2: Funny how that works. Hmmm. They told us that of

566
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 2: course she was still willing to watch him. Why would

567
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,479
Speaker 2: we assume she couldn't watch him because she said she

568
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 2: couldn't watch him.

569
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,360
Speaker 6: Then Monday, she texts me and request that my son

570
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 6: and I join her at daycare on Wednesday because she

571
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 6: has Bible study Tuesday and Thursday. With it being six

572
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 6: weeks until her next baby is do. I text her

573
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 6: back saying I didn't think that I would be able

574
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 6: to make it this week because I have a lot

575
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 6: to do this week to get ready for the baby,

576
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 6: so I need to be at home.

577
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 2: I thought that was the end.

578
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 6: She text me back asking if my husband can just

579
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 6: drop him off before work that day pick him up afterwards.

580
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 6: He works from twelve to eight thirty PM. I text

581
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 6: him and let him know we should talk through it

582
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 6: because we've both generally been thinking about not doing daycare

583
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 6: Monday through Thursday, since with that being his work schedule,

584
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 6: it doesn't seem fair to our son. He goes to

585
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 6: sleep there, but since she won't allow him to sleep over,

586
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 6: we wake up around eleven to go home. After two

587
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 6: and a half hours, she sends me this passive aggressive text.

588
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 6: So this is a tough decision about having husband drop

589
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 6: off grandson tomorrow.

590
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 2: I thought you'd be pleased at this offer. What I

591
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: don't even know what she's what she's saying.

592
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 6: Oh, since I didn't ask you, Yeah, I suggest that

593
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 6: someone else do it.

594
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it should be happy. He's just the other parent

595
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 2: who also isn't available, Like what in they share car?

596
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 2: You're not helpful at all, mother in law.

597
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 6: I did dex back because I was busy taking care

598
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 6: of my son while running errands all day. Like I

599
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 6: told her, I had a lot to do. I didn't

600
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 6: think that two and a half hours was enough time

601
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 6: to get upset like that. She even called my husband

602
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 6: to check and see if.

603
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: I was okay. Oh man, what not? Dude? If I'm married,

604
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking of Angie at this point. Yeah. If

605
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: I'm married Angie and someone calls me, hey, how's Angie feeling,

606
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 2: I'd respond, you should probably check with her. Yeah, why

607
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: are you calling me? Like, why aren't you calling your

608
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 2: son literal son? Oh boy?

609
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 6: My husband didn't talk to her that night, and she

610
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 6: went off the wall, yelling at him. He talked about

611
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 6: how we can't just hold it against her that she

612
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 6: got sick.

613
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: We weren't.

614
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 6: We weren't even going to bring it up with her

615
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 6: because people get sick and sometimes she deserves time off.

616
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 6: But she kept yelling at my husband for things like, oh,

617
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 6: and thanks for not calling your mother this weekend to

618
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 6: see how she was feeling since you knew she was sick,

619
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 6: and how hard she works for us while she's watching

620
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 6: our son.

621
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can, if you can afford anything else,

622
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 3: or if you can bring her to your your mom,

623
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: your sister.

624
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: This is not worth it.

625
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 6: It doesn't seem very mother in law of her to

626
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 6: bring up I'm doing so much for you.

627
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, blah blah blah blah blah, you owe me. It's

628
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: like feeling this out of the kindness of your heart.

629
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: This was actual love. Love has no score.

630
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 3: No, she said the daycare was free, but there's no

631
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 3: such thing as a free lunch. You're paying, your paying

632
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: a lot, and that's through having to listen to her whining.

633
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 6: Yep, that's uh, that's what that Jerry's Sinfield episode. Oh man,

634
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,479
Speaker 6: that's such a good one, oh Man classic. And also

635
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 6: it's not that much extra work watching him now that

636
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 6: he used too, because he fits into her daycare. It's

637
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 6: all about the daycare and how we don't appreciate how

638
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 6: hard she works and that we can't consider her an

639
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 6: unreliable form of childcare. She only calls and cancels on

640
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 6: me because I'm not working, so it's fine. So basically

641
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 6: from what my husband told me, she admitted that she

642
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 6: knowingly cancels on me without notice because she doesn't respect

643
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 6: my time because I'm a stay at home mom, but

644
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 6: I'm supposed to drop everything I'm doing during the day

645
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 6: to answer her every text and call because she doesn't

646
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 6: think I'm doing anything all day. Dude, this is I

647
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 6: feel like my mom wrote this. Yeah, because my grandma

648
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 6: does this to.

649
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 2: My mom a lot.

650
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 6: She's like, I can only be on my time, dada YadA,

651
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 6: this YadA YadA. That can't do this all the time,

652
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 6: and it's all it's all of my mom because she

653
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 6: she does work at the Sawmeal Song, but she is

654
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 6: basically staying home mom, like helping out with stuff. She's

655
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 6: a point person for like basically three families.

656
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's doing a lot of work. She's it's crazy. Yeah,

657
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 2: Oh dude, no.

658
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: And I mean, like, I'm tricky for Ope and her

659
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 3: husband who are trying to you know, parent this new

660
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 3: child and then also have another one on the way

661
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: and then have a mother in law Sash his mom.

662
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 3: Every time she helps it comes with a side of

663
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: like her harassment.

664
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, basically ugh. And he brought up that I help

665
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 6: her whenever I do stay during her daycare.

666
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: Yeah nope, he's always roped into being an assistant. She

667
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 2: said that that's what I owed her to say the least.

668
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,719
Speaker 2: Then we brought up how we're not paying her for daycare.

669
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

670
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, if she's got a hold that over your.

671
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 6: Head, I just don't know what to do about the

672
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 6: situation anymore. She has a tendency to throw temper tantrums

673
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 6: whenever she doesn't exactly get her way. She will even

674
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 6: do silent treatment as an adult we are adult children,

675
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 6: which I don't feel is necessarily a healthy thing to

676
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 6: do to resolve an issue. It just feels like an

677
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 6: emotional manipulation to me. But again, I would love some

678
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 6: perspective and help. My mother thinks we should just not

679
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 6: use her day care services and make her realize that

680
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 6: she's then missing time with her only grandkit. I just

681
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 6: don't know what to do. I've never met someone who

682
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 6: has shown that much disrespect to me and felt justified

683
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 6: in it. I obviously don't want to cut her off

684
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 6: from seeing my son, but I don't want him growing

685
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 6: up with such negativity and feeling unwanted.

686
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: Advice. We got an update again the phone screen time out.

687
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I also think it's you don't necessarily have

688
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 3: to cut her off from seeing her grandson, but you

689
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: at least cut her off from taking care of him

690
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: on daycare.

691
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

692
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 3: Again, if you can't afford it somewhere else, because this

693
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 3: is not it's not worth having to the aggravation or

694
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 3: also the lack of.

695
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 2: Reliability from her. Oh yeah, I constantly canceling on you.

696
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: That's like that.

697
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 3: You don't want that from a daycare, from any other

698
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 3: professional daycare, that would not happen.

699
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed, agreed. H update, Hey it's Sam.

700
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

701
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: minutes of bads from our sponsors.

702
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: We had to.

703
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 6: Cancel last Friday with my mother in law because she

704
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 6: caught us off guard and I forgot how we made

705
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 6: plans with my mom to go visit and my grandfather

706
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 6: with the grand babies and they're Halloween costumes. We told

707
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 6: her we would drop off her son the next Friday.

708
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 6: Turns out my grandfather was sent to the hospital with

709
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 6: aemonia Thursday night. We decided I had to call her

710
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 6: because it was late. We don't expect her to drop

711
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 6: everything last minute for daycare. Maybe this was our mistake,

712
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 6: but I feel like anything we would have done in

713
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 6: this situation was wrong. Oh well, we found out that

714
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 6: my grandfather had passed away on Halloween.

715
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

716
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 6: It was a very sudden and shocked all of us.

717
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 6: We haven't heard from her the rest of the week

718
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 6: until we got an email from my husband's brother. It

719
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 6: was one of the ugliest emails I've ever read. Basically,

720
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 6: it said that we were horrible people. They've been rude

721
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 6: and unthankful to my in laws ever since my son

722
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 6: was born. He could tell because of our body language. Also,

723
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 6: apparently they've changed their plans around to suit us. News

724
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 6: to me, considering we've gone out of our way to

725
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 6: adjust to my mother in law's schedule, and apparently, according

726
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 6: to her, we've entirely disowned her and have threatened to

727
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 6: never allow her to see Nathan. Again, all of this

728
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 6: is new to me.

729
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: But she has a history of throwing tantrums and lie

730
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 2: to get her away. She's literally lying, and at this

731
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: point now you know that she's gonna lie to everyone

732
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 2: around you to get her way, and that you can't

733
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 2: put up with that.

734
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 3: You have to set those boundaries and say, okay, oh

735
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 3: we're not thankful, then.

736
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 2: We won't take your services anymore. The easy, easy fix,

737
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: No more Nathan for you. Yeah, ahha, funny.

738
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 6: We tried calling all of them immediately to schedule a

739
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 6: time to talk in person because this is all gotten

740
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 6: out of hand. All of their phones rang three times

741
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 6: before going to voicemail. Turns out all three of them

742
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 6: were at lunch together.

743
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 2: Huh yeah, they're all emailing. You're like nah, which we say, ooh,

744
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 2: that's good.

745
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 6: My mother in law to sent me a text saying

746
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 6: that they were having lunch with my brother in law

747
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 6: and wanted to do this talk in person. I responded

748
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 6: and said I agreed. Three hours later, they said that

749
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 6: they were leaving my brother in law's place. It was

750
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 6: six thirty at the time. My son's bedtime in seven thirty,

751
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 6: so obviously this talk wasn't happening this weekend, as soon

752
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 6: a text last night asking when we should come over

753
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 6: to talk. I've yet gotten a response. I've been really

754
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 6: upset this whole time, crying several times because of the

755
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 6: initial accusations. But I'm not sure what I should do.

756
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 6: I don't quite know what action to take. I don't

757
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 6: think it's going to be feasible to completely cut them out,

758
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 6: but boundaries need to be made, obviously.

759
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 2: I am just definitely feeling like this has been more

760
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 2: of a power play than genuine emotional upset on her part,

761
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 2: mostly because nobody has been contacting us to try instead

762
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 2: of time to sit down and resolve this. Yeah, because

763
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 2: they know what's up.

764
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 3: They know, they know they're trying to get They know

765
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 3: that you are in need of her help in taking

766
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 3: care of your kid, or they think that you are,

767
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 3: and so they're gonna use that power to assert their dominance.

768
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And they're.

769
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 3: Use that that need of yours to assert their dominance.

770
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 3: And then you can set those boundaries and say, actually

771
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: we don't need you.

772
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you. There you go.

773
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 6: I feel like if she was really feeling like we

774
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 6: just owned her, wouldn't it be a priority to her

775
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 6: to have contact us and schedule a time to resolve this.

776
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 2: Am I wrong?

777
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 6: I'm just not sure what course of action to take

778
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 6: to cause the least amount of drama. I think I'm

779
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 6: losing my voice. No, my husband has been fuming about this,

780
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 6: and we'll support his family.

781
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,280
Speaker 2: Me and my son.

782
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 6: Nice that it could have been another way. Yeah, we

783
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 6: got an update.

784
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 2: Yikes.

785
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 3: Well you know what positive? Your husband's on your side. Yeah,

786
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 3: he's not back in his crazy mom.

787
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Ah.

788
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 3: And you're just gonna have to set boundaries and it sucks.

789
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,240
Speaker 3: And I know you don't want to cut contact.

790
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: You don't necessarily have to cut contact completely, but you

791
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 2: definitely can't rely on her for daycare or any sort

792
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: of Yeah, she's out of the question there. Yep. Salvage

793
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: something maybe, hopefully, but you know not right now, she's

794
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 2: spreading lives. It's not worth it. No update too.

795
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 6: My mother in law finally texted me and wanted to

796
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 6: schedule the time to talk things out. My husband and

797
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 6: I have talked and decided this is really her last chance.

798
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:36,240
Speaker 2: It isn't really.

799
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 6: Feasible for us to completely cut contact out of our life,

800
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 6: but if she's unwilling to accept anything, we have to

801
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,399
Speaker 6: say we're willing to go that route. We are going

802
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 6: to stay strong with the facts and not get caught

803
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 6: up in her gas lighting. We're also not going to

804
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 6: talk without my father in law present. He has stuck

805
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 6: up for us in the past during a situation where

806
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 6: what we said was logical. We'll see how this goes,

807
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 6: but honestly, I'm not going to get my home up

808
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 6: that she'll listen or totally prepared to walk out for

809
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 6: the long haul if we need to. It's become a

810
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 6: parent that this has all just been a power play.

811
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's it. That's all you can do

812
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: right now.

813
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 3: Yes, Like if you need to create some boundaries and

814
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 3: create some walls.

815
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: Super smart to have a father in law there, Yeah, absolutely, Yeah,

816
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: I think I've been everyone there getting ears about what's

817
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: actually exactly instead of her spreading lies and manipulating people.

818
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: Maybe even get the brother in law in law yeah

819
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, you thought you said all those

820
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 2: nasty things to me, this is what actually is going.

821
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 6: On, and you can listen but not say a word. Yeah,

822
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 6: that's in that story. We got one more for you, guys.

823
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 3: My mother in law treats me terribly but acts innocent

824
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 3: around my husband.

825
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 6: I didn't do anything.

826
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 3: I am a white female married to an Indian male,

827
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 3: both in our thirties. While I understand in that culture

828
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 3: it is common to have your parents come to stay

829
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,399
Speaker 3: with you for months every year when living abroad, this

830
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 3: situation feels crazy to me.

831
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 2: That's normal.

832
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,720
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Fabulous Mango forty forty

833
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 3: seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

834
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 3: go to the.

835
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: R slash Okay storytime separate it.

836
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 3: So in the last four years they have come three times,

837
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 3: each time being longer than the last. This time around,

838
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 3: they are here for four months the whole summer.

839
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: That's wild, not girl summer, parents summer.

840
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: These are my issues with their visits and why I

841
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 3: told my husband I can no longer handle them living

842
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 3: in the house with us. Personal hygiene and cleansiness are

843
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 3: a huge issue. They don't wash their hands after going

844
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: to the bathroom, we're before cooking or touching food.

845
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:39,439
Speaker 2: Yuck.

846
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 3: They don't clean up after themselves, and if mother in

847
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 3: law sometimes washes dishes, she does a terrible job. I

848
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 3: can still see her lipstick on the cups after she

849
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: washes them. When father in law uses the bathroom, he

850
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 3: peas all over the floor every time? Are these children?

851
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: What ease? Get some aim dogs? Sometimes a few spots

852
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: on the floor or other times full on puddles.

853
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 3: You what the first time that would happened, I would

854
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: talk to my husband immediately and be like, this is

855
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 3: unacceptable and gross and I won't live like this, or

856
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 3: get the potty train them, or get them pads. They

857
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: both wear sandals in the house and walk in it

858
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 3: without oh, without realizing it and track it all over

859
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 3: the house.

860
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 2: Are these like dogs like they're walking in their own pea?

861
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 2: This is insane? These are adults. How are they acting

862
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 2: like this? That I should know that?

863
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,439
Speaker 3: There are some health and balance issues with father in law,

864
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,399
Speaker 3: but he has too much pride to accept or use

865
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 3: any type of medical devices and guards on the toilet

866
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 3: to help him or sit down to pete. I'm usually

867
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 3: the one cleaning it up literally, no, no, no, I'd

868
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 3: be like, hey, husband, you clean this up right now.

869
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: Get your parents out of my house. I'm not cleaning

870
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 2: up your dad's pee.

871
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: You They both leave the house the whole day, so

872
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: there's no privacy or space from them. Mother in law

873
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 3: is quite rude and ignores me when I speak, or

874
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 3: just cuts me off anytime I try to talk. She

875
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 3: plays it off innocent with my husband, like she doesn't

876
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 3: realize she's doing that and doesn't mean to. But I

877
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,760
Speaker 3: don't buy that. Mother in law will act very different

878
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 3: when my husband isn't around. All kinds of small things

879
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 3: that add up. For example, if I'm mopping the floor,

880
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 3: she'll walk over the spot I just finished mopping. They

881
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: can be pretty destructive to our home and usually break

882
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 3: quite a few things when they come, like cupboards and

883
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 3: doors from slamming them too aggressively, not using exhaust fans

884
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 3: when taking showers so mold grows, et cetera. They use

885
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 3: mothballs back in their home in India. When they come here.

886
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 2: Everything they bring a reeks like.

887
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 3: Mothballs, and I never ever have been able to fully

888
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 3: get the smell out of the room they stay in.

889
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 3: Mothball fumes are highly toxic, and we also have a cat.

890
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 3: If they leave the door open, the smell goes through

891
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 3: the rest of the house and stinks for hours.

892
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

893
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 3: They show zero signs of empathy, remorse, or any other

894
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 3: feelings towards how they affect us or our home. It

895
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 3: seems as though they genuinely don't care about anyone but themselves.

896
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: Mother in law expects my husband to pay for everything

897
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 3: for them and shows no appreciation, not even a simple

898
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 3: thank you. When my husband tries to talk to them

899
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 3: about their behavior, mother in law sends him a massive

900
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 3: text message guilt tripping us for having some type of

901
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 3: living standards and boundaries. These messages will be things along

902
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 3: the lines of we will just leave and never come back. Yeah, please,

903
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 3: I'll just stay in India with little money in my

904
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 3: bank account while you live your life here, even though

905
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 3: it's because of me you got to move in the

906
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 3: first place. I could write a novel with all the

907
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,800
Speaker 3: specific moments that have happened in the last three visits.

908
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 3: These have been ongoing issues every time they come, and

909
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 3: it only gets worse. I also can't help but feel

910
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 3: that mother in law is very calculated and manipulative and

911
00:42:56,360 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 3: knows exactly what she's doing. I sometimes wonder if she's trying.

912
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 2: To push me out.

913
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, she's absolutely trying to push you out of

914
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 3: the house.

915
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:10,240
Speaker 2: This is like psychological warfare. This is crazy.

916
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 3: And if your husband either one, go talk to your husband,

917
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 3: say this is what's been going on, and if he

918
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,879
Speaker 3: says anything other than I'm so sorry, I'll get them

919
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 3: out then have a way more serious conversation or leave.

920
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: He needs to go talk to that night, to your

921
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 2: own boy. We read about her. Yeah, he's much more

922
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 2: mature than this, because you.

923
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 6: Are family now, and if your extended family isn't one

924
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,919
Speaker 6: to listen, you gotta get him out of there.

925
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 2: Agreed.

926
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 3: So am I the Ale for putting my foot down

927
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 3: and refusing to allow these long term visits in the future.

928
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 3: Even though she's saying she has no money, Well, then

929
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 3: why is she spending money on a flight? She was

930
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 3: considering buying a second property in India.

931
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,760
Speaker 2: So I don't believe that. I think they are fully

932
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 2: capable of getting a short term rental when they come

933
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: and there is an update.

934
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 3: But no, you're not the Ale. No, no, I would

935
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 3: demand that. I'd be like, uh no, they're not standing here.

936
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:05,359
Speaker 3: They're disgusting. They're leaving their little pea puddles everywhere. Yes,

937
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 3: it's gross and your husband needs to go to therapy.

938
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 3: If he's like, oh, well, they're my family, I get like, no.

939
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 3: If they're not going to respect the house, by good riddance.

940
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 3: But there is an update, and I'm really open that

941
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: ope people talk some sense into her husband.

942
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 2: Ugh, that's the pea puddles for me. H, No.

943
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: It's disgusting. And then tracking them through the house. Oh,

944
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 3: my husband sees the issue here and has spoken to

945
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 3: them multiple times about these issues. They just never change

946
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: or don't care. I think he's stuck in a tough

947
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 3: place because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

948
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 2: I do.

949
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 3: I spoke to him and told him bluntly how I

950
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 3: feel and that I don't want any future long term visits.

951
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,320
Speaker 3: He agrees with me. I just hope this doesn't cause

952
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: resentment one day and ruin our marriage. I mean, you

953
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 3: already have resentment for his parents, so if they stay here,

954
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: you're gonna have resentment for sure. If they don't, you

955
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,280
Speaker 3: might have resentment, but you can work it out. He's amazing,

956
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 3: and it would be devastating to divorce over his parents.

957
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: Like I said, his mom is a master at guilt

958
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 3: tripping and making him feel like a terrible person.

959
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 2: And there is a second update. John here og host.

960
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

961
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: three minute break from as form more sponsors.

962
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 2: My in laws will officially no longer be staying with us. Hooray, Yeah,

963
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 2: let's go. Since my original post, I started noticing things

964
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 2: misplaced in my and my husband's room. Oh.

965
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 3: I know it sounds crazy of me, but she definitely

966
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 3: brings it out of me. I asked my husband if

967
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 3: he's okay with it if I set up a camera

968
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 3: in the room an arm it when he and myself

969
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 3: were both gone. He agreed, so I set it up.

970
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 3: I now a video footage of my mother in law

971
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 3: going in the room, rummaging through everything thoroughly, like she

972
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,919
Speaker 3: owns the place and everything in it. I also watched

973
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,479
Speaker 3: her steal some of my items out of our room.

974
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: When I got home from work, I noticed she left

975
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 3: a sweater in there while she was busy trying on

976
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: my blouses and stealing one of them.

977
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 6: What.

978
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 3: I confronted her with it, and she gave me some

979
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 3: lame excuse after first pretending she didn't know what it

980
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 3: was bro I then asked her bluntly if she had

981
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 3: been rummaging through my room. Of course, she lied and

982
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 3: then sent me very long text messages trying to guilt,

983
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 3: trip me and make me feel terrible for accusing her

984
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 3: of such things. I won't get into too much detail

985
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 3: of the text since it was basically a short novel,

986
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 3: but to sum it up, it was saying I was

987
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 3: shocked she was at accusations, how she's basically the best

988
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 3: person ever and would never do anything like that, and

989
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 3: now everyone loves her, how I hurt her feelings. The

990
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 3: actual texts in full would blow your mind. It really

991
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 3: goes to show how manipulative and good of a liar

992
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 3: she is. I did give her some opportunities over the

993
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 3: next week after to come clean and be honest without

994
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 3: forcing her to by showing her the videos. She didn't.

995
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 3: Instead just trashed me some more. So I showed her

996
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 3: the videos in private and let her watch herself stealing.

997
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 3: She still just kept repeating that she he wasn't stealing

998
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 3: and had some other dumb excuses.

999
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 2: How's her she does? How's her hands not red?

1000
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1001
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 2: What?

1002
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 3: No, she's been caught redhead And she's like, no, no, no,

1003
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 3: this is I ah, my hands just look like that.

1004
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 6: Normally it's someone else's someone else's hands, that's AI.

1005
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 3: She's like that, we're in person. She's like, it's a

1006
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 3: I don't know how they do it. I have showed

1007
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 3: my husband as well, and he no longer wants them

1008
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 3: to stay here in the future. Either you got some

1009
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 3: prove because he I mean, without the proof, she probably

1010
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 3: would have been like, your wife is accusing me and

1011
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 3: I never would do that.

1012
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,439
Speaker 2: She's a liar. How does her husband not have her what?

1013
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 2: This is wild?

1014
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 3: So I guess I never had to put my foot down.

1015
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 3: She basically banned herself from staying with us.

1016
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 2: Nice. My husband has yet to talk to her about

1017
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 2: the videos. Update three We have a third one third

1018
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 2: update and I hope my my husband never or my

1019
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 2: husband cut off his mom or like the parents went home,

1020
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 2: listened to it and got their flight back home.

1021
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 3: Oh yikes, hopefully not that, but I hope they're home

1022
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 3: and not here. Up date three, my husband finally had

1023
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 3: the talk with his mom. It took so long because

1024
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 3: she doesn't want her husband to know about any of this,

1025
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 3: so she'll only talk about it when he is sleeping

1026
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 3: before her or away from the property, which never happens.

1027
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 3: We didn't get any type of reaction we would have

1028
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 3: wanted or hoped for it. She gave them a meaningless

1029
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 3: sorry and said she didn't know why she did it,

1030
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 3: just tried to blame it on issues she has with

1031
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,839
Speaker 3: her husband. She never fully accepted or admitted to all

1032
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,399
Speaker 3: the things she did. My husband also tried to ask

1033
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 3: her if she had an issue with me based on

1034
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 3: her behavior every single visit. She also said no, no issues.

1035
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 3: I was really hoping she would take this time to

1036
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 3: be honest and put everything on the table to maybe

1037
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 3: work through any issues, but obviously that will never happen.

1038
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 3: He did tell her that they will no longer be

1039
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,320
Speaker 3: welcome to stay with us in the future for any

1040
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,439
Speaker 3: amount of time. They would have to get their own

1041
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 3: place or short term rental. But there is a little

1042
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 3: bit left to this story.

1043
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts.

1044
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 6: We won.

1045
00:48:58,400 --> 00:48:59,919
Speaker 2: We did it. One you on the water.

1046
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 4: She's out and you have blackmail. Yeah, you have a

1047
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 4: literal proof of her. This is horrible, But you have

1048
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 4: proof of her stealing. Yeah, that she doesn't want her

1049
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,919
Speaker 4: husband to know. Well, if she keeps acting out, guess

1050
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 4: who's gonna know?

1051
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeap, yep, I guess that's the way it's gotta be.

1052
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 2: Or she could just leave. Yeah, she and her husband

1053
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: can go, and if they want to come visit, they

1054
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 2: can go get a place, stay in a hotel. I

1055
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 2: don't care, stay away, You and your pea podles can

1056
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 2: go somewhere else disgusting.

1057
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 3: Now we just wait out the last twoish weeks till

1058
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 3: they leave. We don't speak to each other at all,

1059
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 3: except for her fake good morning in front of her

1060
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 3: husband so he doesn't suspect her of any wrongdoing. She

1061
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 3: likes to blame him for everything that goes wrong and

1062
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 3: doesn't like to recognize her own faults Selfishly, I was

1063
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 3: hoping it would make her want to leave sooner after

1064
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 3: my husband called her out for her behavior because we

1065
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: now have to redo a bathroom and a half father

1066
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 3: in law flooded the basement bathroom and as you know,

1067
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 3: pissed all over the other one y what and redo

1068
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 3: the bedroom They stand because of the moth bell smell

1069
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 3: and also because it's super awkward and uncomfortable in.

1070
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:10,280
Speaker 2: The outday center. An invoice peeze.

1071
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like, hey, this is for all the

1072
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 3: damages that you guys cast in the house and also

1073
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 3: emotional damages because I.

1074
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,919
Speaker 2: Hate you guys. Ah terrible. How how do people live

1075
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: like this?

1076
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 3: I have no idea, but good on you for standing

1077
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 3: up for yourself and your husband for listening to you

1078
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,760
Speaker 3: and standing up for himself. Go pee outside again, Peez,

1079
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 3: you can't. You're not trusted to do it inside. You're

1080
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 3: terrible at it. Well that's the end of this episode

1081
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:36,800
Speaker 3: and the end.

1082
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 4: Of this Oh you said it, ha ha I stole

1083
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 4: your words, dang it.

1084
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 3: But that she be able to do with herself. So

1085
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 3: if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1086
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 2: We love you and see tomorrow.