1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,400
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steff.

2
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:19,279
Speaker 2: I've never told you a production of iHeartRadio, and welcome

3
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,720
Speaker 2: to another happy hour. This is one of those rare

4
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,279
Speaker 2: occasions where I feel like we're like reaching across time

5
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,480
Speaker 2: because we're recording it the day it comes out, which

6
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:33,320
Speaker 2: is not usually the case. SOMETI Well, okay, but I

7
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 2: would say, like percentage wise, it's not usually the case me.

8
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,080
Speaker 2: But one of the reasons that is is because we

9
00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,160
Speaker 2: just got back from the holidays, which is the topic

10
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:48,600
Speaker 2: of this happy hour. But first, if you choose to drink,

11
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,760
Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. Samantha, what are you sipping on?

12
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,960
Speaker 3: I'm drinking on some cold water.

13
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: It is cold, Yeah it is.

14
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 3: My feet are freezing, he would think it is on.

15
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:07,679
Speaker 1: Oh really, yes, yes, nice, Okay, I've got my red wine. Nice.

16
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,000
Speaker 2: Because this is I wouldn't call this like an unhappy hour,

17
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,040
Speaker 2: but it is kind of complaining love it. But before

18
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,480
Speaker 2: we get into that, I did want to ask Samantha,

19
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,039
Speaker 2: how was your holiday. We did get to actually hang

20
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,240
Speaker 2: out in person recently, but it was we didn't get

21
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,959
Speaker 2: to talk too much. It was lovely, but we didn't

22
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,920
Speaker 2: get to really go into it right.

23
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:35,479
Speaker 3: It was funny actually. So we went to South Carolina

24
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,559
Speaker 3: for with our partner's family. They are delight. His uncle

25
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,800
Speaker 3: who actually lives in North Georgia, oh about probably twenty

26
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 3: minutes outside of Delannaga, he joined and it was really

27
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,760
Speaker 3: nice to meet him and they were very nice and

28
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,160
Speaker 3: kind and we had great food, very stuffed. Immediately after

29
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,360
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving lunch because we had it around two, we took

30
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 3: a nap. I took an hour nap immediately. It was

31
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 3: sol bye, but it was really nice. The weather was

32
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,520
Speaker 3: well like there was a couple of rainy days but

33
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,160
Speaker 3: not too bad. And then we had good food out

34
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 3: and about some really good barbecue that was like, I think,

35
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,400
Speaker 3: the best barbecue I've had in a while. Oh yes,

36
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 3: it was delicious and we had the best time on

37
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,240
Speaker 3: the foods. So yeah, nothing is like an eventful which

38
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:23,600
Speaker 3: we love.

39
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, that's all you can which we love.

40
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,880
Speaker 2: Mine was pretty good too. Mine was more uneventful than

41
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:35,080
Speaker 2: I thought I would be, but it was.

42
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,320
Speaker 1: There were some events.

43
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 2: I want to start by saying, I got my car washed,

44
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,560
Speaker 2: which is a big deal because that my car just

45
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,919
Speaker 2: sits there and it looked really bad when I got

46
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 2: it washed I drove home. It was fine because I

47
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,360
Speaker 2: know I talked about how nervous I was about that.

48
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,040
Speaker 1: It was okay.

49
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,360
Speaker 2: My little brother didn't come because yes, two of my

50
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,079
Speaker 2: siblings are not talking to each.

51
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,320
Speaker 3: Other holidays if someone's not talking to somebody.

52
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,680
Speaker 2: Exactly, and we did call him and it was fine.

53
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,240
Speaker 2: But because of that, we cooked a lot less food

54
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:11,760
Speaker 2: this year, which was nice, but it got eaten and

55
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,680
Speaker 2: I didn't have any leftovers zero wow. Yeah, which is

56
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,679
Speaker 2: like the goal. But then my mom was like, well,

57
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,120
Speaker 2: we need to cook more at it. I said, no,

58
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,880
Speaker 2: this was the point we wanted to not so yeah, anyway,

59
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,920
Speaker 2: we'll see how that goes. But the main thing I

60
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,800
Speaker 2: wanted to talk about today, which we've talked about previously

61
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 2: in our episode. I think we're going to rerun this

62
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 2: soon on emotional labor around the holidays, is that I

63
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 2: have always missed my friend's friends Giving.

64
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,120
Speaker 1: I never go.

65
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,240
Speaker 2: I've always wanted to go, but I don't go because

66
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 2: I helped my mom with all of the decorations and

67
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,440
Speaker 2: we do that the weekend of Thanksgiving, and so this

68
00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,200
Speaker 2: year I was really it was kind of strategic. I

69
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,120
Speaker 2: knew there was gonna be drama. In the family that

70
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm really gonna go. I'm leaving on Saturday,

71
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 2: is what I said. I'm on Saturday. So we're gonna

72
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,360
Speaker 2: go and get all the decorations done that morning.

73
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,760
Speaker 1: And to be clear, I love hanging out with my mob.

74
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with that.

75
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,200
Speaker 2: Well, she's great, but she kept saying, you know, we

76
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,440
Speaker 2: don't have to do it, I'll do it myself. And

77
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,960
Speaker 2: I kept saying it's impossible. You cannot do this by yourself.

78
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,359
Speaker 2: And so that morning she was putting it off and

79
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,760
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I just kind of want to hang

80
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,360
Speaker 2: out with you and talk with you as long as

81
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 2: we can.

82
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,040
Speaker 1: And I was like, we're getting this Christmas tree. We're

83
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:40,560
Speaker 1: doing it.

84
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,120
Speaker 2: And she wanted to go to this place that's a

85
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 2: bit further than when we normally, god say, like a

86
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,760
Speaker 2: fifteen minute drive. And I don't know if you know

87
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,960
Speaker 2: this about me, listeners, I am very paranoid about the

88
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,760
Speaker 2: transporting of the Christmas tree. I'm very scared it will

89
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 2: fall off. It is a tense time. I don't enjoy it.

90
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 2: I was already tense, is what I'm saying. I'm going

91
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,440
Speaker 2: into the situation tinse and the guy at the farm

92
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,760
Speaker 2: was falling is around and he was trying to be helpful,

93
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,120
Speaker 2: but he was making me more tense because he was

94
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,880
Speaker 2: like falling us around and he's like, what, hey, are

95
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:15,400
Speaker 2: you looking for?

96
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,719
Speaker 1: What with? And I was like, I just know it

97
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,680
Speaker 1: when I believe me.

98
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,719
Speaker 3: I tried to Christmas there.

99
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,200
Speaker 1: He was really trustful, except.

100
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,719
Speaker 3: The man is not a part of your family.

101
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,760
Speaker 1: No, no.

102
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,200
Speaker 2: And so finally we picked the tree and I'm trying

103
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 2: to rush, but not rush because I don't.

104
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,200
Speaker 1: Want it anyway.

105
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 2: I'm on this deadline because I'm trying to get to

106
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:47,680
Speaker 2: the friends giving right pick the tree. He ties it

107
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,840
Speaker 2: to the roof and I'm I'm like watching him do it.

108
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,280
Speaker 2: And I've always thought there must be some kind of training.

109
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,120
Speaker 2: I've learned there isn't. And I pointed at one and

110
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,479
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that one doesn't look and he

111
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,120
Speaker 2: was like, no, it's it's like.

112
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,000
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

113
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 3: And so.

114
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,200
Speaker 2: I am very concerned about this tree. We get in

115
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,480
Speaker 2: the car. I'm watching out of the windows in the mirrors.

116
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 2: I see the car, Samantha, the car the tree slowly

117
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,680
Speaker 2: move and I'm I'm panicking. I'm like washing it, like

118
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,120
Speaker 2: oh no, it's coming off, and all of the cars

119
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,719
Speaker 2: behind us were way way back, and eventually it was

120
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,800
Speaker 2: like sideways on the roof and I said, very calmly,

121
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,880
Speaker 2: I think to my mom, you're gonna have to pull over.

122
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,280
Speaker 1: It's coming off.

123
00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,800
Speaker 2: And so she pulls over and I tied the tree.

124
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,360
Speaker 2: It had completely come undone, the whole thing, like it

125
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,159
Speaker 2: was barely hanging on. I'm glad we didn't lose the twine.

126
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,720
Speaker 1: I don't know what we would have done. So I tied.

127
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 1: I did this whole thing.

128
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,160
Speaker 2: I was up on the roof and tying and looping

129
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,599
Speaker 2: and all this stuff which I don't been I had

130
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,599
Speaker 2: always assumed I couldn't do and been afraid I would

131
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:08,440
Speaker 2: be asked. And my mom, joking said, everyone probably thinks

132
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,400
Speaker 2: we're just two stupid women who don't know how to

133
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,520
Speaker 2: tie a Christmas tree.

134
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,560
Speaker 1: And it was the dude.

135
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 3: Dumb right, She's right, but.

136
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,360
Speaker 2: It was him, and we were I mean, people were

137
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,520
Speaker 2: definitely like, WHOA, what's going on with them?

138
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,080
Speaker 3: The dude mess it up?

139
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 1: He up?

140
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 2: And I actually like, I don't think this is true

141
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 2: at all, But I had a paranoid brain moment was

142
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 2: like did he purposely do that? Or did anyone else

143
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 2: experience this, because that could have been really dangerous. Anyway,

144
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,240
Speaker 2: I tied it. I tied it way better than good.

145
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,000
Speaker 2: We got home perfectly fine, although I was I was

146
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:44,520
Speaker 2: keyed up.

147
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,200
Speaker 3: We may start building other things. I'll chuck my own

148
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,520
Speaker 3: tree down. Do you think that?

149
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 2: Well, it's funny because the title of this outline says,

150
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,120
Speaker 2: I don't need no man to put up this Christmas tree.

151
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 2: And I talked about this in I believe in their

152
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:16,000
Speaker 2: Emotional Labor episode where for a while my dad just

153
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 2: wasn't around during the holidays, and I kind of, like

154
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,600
Speaker 2: spitefully also out of necessity, took it on myself to

155
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,920
Speaker 2: be like all of the things he used to do,

156
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,560
Speaker 2: I can do it. I don't need him. And one

157
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 2: of them was the Christmas tree. He used to do that,

158
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,880
Speaker 2: or at least he would like with the pudding up

159
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:37,199
Speaker 2: of it, he would do it. So I did have

160
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,000
Speaker 2: many thoughts like that's a mythic, yes indeed, But I

161
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,080
Speaker 2: carried it in by myself. My mom and I put

162
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:49,240
Speaker 2: it up by ourselves. It's like eight to ten boxes,

163
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,720
Speaker 2: some of them really heavy. We brought down the stairs,

164
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,199
Speaker 2: and I mean, I'm not like looking for an award

165
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,360
Speaker 2: for this, but she could not have done that by herself.

166
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 1: But she could not have done right.

167
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,240
Speaker 2: And it was exhausting, Like I hit my head in

168
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 2: the attic, I had this huge headache.

169
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 1: I was sore, so I miss friends.

170
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:12,000
Speaker 2: Giving is ultimately what happened because I felt I did.

171
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,160
Speaker 1: Not make it. I didn't make it, but I did try.

172
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,360
Speaker 2: I was like, but it's just like it really does

173
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,840
Speaker 2: take a lot to, as they say in heavy quotes,

174
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,160
Speaker 2: make the magic happen. But yeah, I mean, we're also

175
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,360
Speaker 2: very lucky that we can do this, Like I can't

176
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,520
Speaker 2: go up the stairs and carry these boxes.

177
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,679
Speaker 1: I can do these things. But it was it's no joke.

178
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:38,760
Speaker 2: And I I'm now like, I'll just I'm gonna check

179
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,400
Speaker 2: all of these Christmas tree tiles.

180
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,280
Speaker 3: Last year, a dude said he was okay, and he

181
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:44,640
Speaker 3: was not.

182
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,080
Speaker 2: It was like it looked to me like it was

183
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,520
Speaker 2: clearly coming undone. Like normally I wouldn't have even pointed

184
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,800
Speaker 2: it out because I'm too like polite, and I was like,

185
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to offend him, but it looked like

186
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,559
Speaker 2: it was coming undone.

187
00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,480
Speaker 1: But he's like, h it was.

188
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:09,199
Speaker 2: It was sideways on dock mil the car nope, I.

189
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:13,280
Speaker 3: Stay away from people with trees, not like on there smart. No,

190
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,840
Speaker 3: It's kind of like the ladders that you see, Like

191
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,079
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't believe you, or anything in the

192
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,679
Speaker 3: back of a truck. Yeah, I don't believe you, and

193
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,720
Speaker 3: when trying to get away from you as quickly as possible.

194
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,640
Speaker 1: An entire generation traumatized by final destination.

195
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,280
Speaker 3: I told you that one of my friend's uncle actually

196
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:35,040
Speaker 3: had a ladder he went into his car that fell off,

197
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:40,080
Speaker 3: flew off a van. Yeah, and he's not okay, Like

198
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 3: he's okay anyway. But yeah, so I actually know someone.

199
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,439
Speaker 2: I know someone that pull came off and it impaled

200
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,160
Speaker 2: the seat extra luckily no one was in his.

201
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,840
Speaker 3: See that that is a vital destination. You're like, ah, yeah,

202
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,240
Speaker 3: that was That's going to happen to me. But yeah,

203
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,320
Speaker 3: so those nightmare we get those.

204
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,280
Speaker 2: Yes, it just made me think about because I told

205
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,040
Speaker 2: my mom I and I kind of feel bad because

206
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,520
Speaker 2: she clearly wanted to relax, and I was like, we

207
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,880
Speaker 2: have it takes us about four.

208
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,200
Speaker 1: Hours to do all this stuff. We've gotta go. But

209
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,520
Speaker 1: then I was so stressed from the tree almost coming off.

210
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 2: I was like sitting trying and get my heart to

211
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,559
Speaker 2: slow down. So yeah, it was just another instance of

212
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,200
Speaker 2: like this is this is hard work, and people really

213
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:27,960
Speaker 2: don't necessarily get any credit for it, right, I sometimes do.

214
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 3: I had a long conversation with my partner's mother, who

215
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,000
Speaker 3: is very Southern's. She was raised in Georgia Belye as

216
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,400
Speaker 3: well Gainesville, so close to the Nick of the Woods.

217
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 3: But we were talking about the Southern living and how

218
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 3: it traumatized her generation of women, and talking about and

219
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,920
Speaker 3: that could be a whole com like maybe it should

220
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,280
Speaker 3: be a whole magazine influences of our boomer parents who

221
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 3: really felt that they failed if they did not have

222
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,040
Speaker 3: a Martha Stewart level of home. And they were talking

223
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 3: about the decoration and how she talked about how she

224
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,880
Speaker 3: regretted ever thinking that was away and cannot believe she

225
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,400
Speaker 3: was wasted so much of her life trying to meet that.

226
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,719
Speaker 3: And by the way, her house is immaculate and had

227
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,840
Speaker 3: cute Christmas decorations before I walked in, Like I was

228
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:19,679
Speaker 3: like looking around, what right, but way more decorations than

229
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 3: we had, Like I'd given up completely with Christmas, but

230
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,760
Speaker 3: like she still has things Christmas lights everywhere, little Christmas

231
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,840
Speaker 3: trees here and they are very cute, like not over

232
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,120
Speaker 3: the top though, But my mother and I've talked about

233
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,760
Speaker 3: this before, has a whole like Elftown and a Christmas

234
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,280
Speaker 3: town on her mantle where the fakes snow and when

235
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 3: I mean fake snow everywhere. But then she just changed

236
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,680
Speaker 3: over her false stuff, which has like vines and leaves everywhere,

237
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,880
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what in the hell is this? They're gorgeous,

238
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,360
Speaker 3: not gonna lie. But at the same time, like the

239
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,600
Speaker 3: amount of words that she talks about and how much

240
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,040
Speaker 3: she is in pain after the fact, like this is

241
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,439
Speaker 3: not worth it. But the fact that things like Southern Living,

242
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,640
Speaker 3: which before social media told us what anything was bad,

243
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,760
Speaker 3: they had these magazines telling them this was what they

244
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,760
Speaker 3: needed to do, and I feel like they did way

245
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,400
Speaker 3: more work because I think at this point many of us,

246
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,360
Speaker 3: not all of us, many of us are like, uh no,

247
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,960
Speaker 3: we're not doing that. Yeah, yeah, you do it yourself.

248
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,559
Speaker 3: I've seen I've seen the price that that told we

249
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 3: told this, Yeah, thank you. So I feel like that's

250
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,400
Speaker 3: gonna be a conversation with we should have. But yeah,

251
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,719
Speaker 3: my she she and my mother are probably around the

252
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,839
Speaker 3: same age, and she was talking about how she really

253
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,800
Speaker 3: regretted believing the Southern Living magazine lifestyle.

254
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,640
Speaker 1: Ooh, that is a good point. That's really interesting.

255
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 2: We should talk about that because I do you want

256
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:46,400
Speaker 2: to specify? Are we don't do that much like it?

257
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,720
Speaker 2: It does take us three to four hours, but we

258
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:53,000
Speaker 2: don't do like that Southern living style. And my mom

259
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:57,360
Speaker 2: is definitely like, over the years, kind of backed off

260
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,800
Speaker 2: of like she doesn't do stuff for like a lot

261
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,800
Speaker 2: of the other holidays anymore where she used to, and

262
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:09,000
Speaker 2: like half of the Christmas stuff doesn't even come down anymore,

263
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,680
Speaker 2: so she's backed off. I just put up like a

264
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 2: tree with my Star Wars ornaments in my lights, and

265
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,920
Speaker 2: that's it. So I also, I did say this in

266
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:20,560
Speaker 2: the emotional Labor episode, but it's worth repeating. I don't

267
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:25,240
Speaker 2: think anyone else in my family would care if we

268
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,280
Speaker 2: didn't do it right, like the They might be kind

269
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 2: of sad that the I don't know, like the lights

270
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,160
Speaker 2: aren't there, but they would they're not. It's more of

271
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 2: we both kind we like it of the changing of

272
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,440
Speaker 2: decorations or to the lights. I like the lights, but

273
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 2: I don't want it to make it sound like that.

274
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:48,480
Speaker 2: That's why there's sort of a strange thing of you know,

275
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,240
Speaker 2: they don't really help, but they also don't really care.

276
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 3: Like that, I will say the hypocritical part of me

277
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 3: is if I went home and it wasn't decorated, I'd

278
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,400
Speaker 3: be like, mom, where's all that stuff? Because like I

279
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 3: have the fun. Yeah, I was a spoiled child when

280
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 3: it comes to seeing like beautiful decorations. Again, I also

281
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,560
Speaker 3: knew the price it took, and of course I was

282
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,400
Speaker 3: happy that she was taking care of herself, but also

283
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,160
Speaker 3: would be concerned like are you okay?

284
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,920
Speaker 1: Right? Right?

285
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,440
Speaker 2: And I'm the same way, And I feel like if

286
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 2: I came home and my mom hadn't done anything, I

287
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 2: would feel sad.

288
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 1: I would feel worried, like you, But.

289
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 2: I would also feel kind of sad because I would

290
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,040
Speaker 2: think it was because she didn't have anyone who could her.

291
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,080
Speaker 3: Who could help her, she was hurting, or she's getting older,

292
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 3: and all of that makes me very.

293
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:40,760
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but I also don't. Sometimes I worry

294
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 2: that I'm pushing her more.

295
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:42,840
Speaker 1: Right.

296
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,320
Speaker 3: The other part was like, how are we helping her?

297
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 3: Are we helping her? Right? So last year trying to

298
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 3: help my mom, my sister who would talked about the

299
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,640
Speaker 3: oldest sibling. Oldest daughter specifically does a lot of the

300
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:09,600
Speaker 3: grunt work in helping parents. Took care of presents, so

301
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 3: essentially not necessarily like wrapping it because my mother loves

302
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,680
Speaker 3: rapping and she is again Southern living level, like professional

303
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 3: level of rapping, but like she would just I would

304
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 3: send what I would want and my sister would go

305
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 3: through it and do it for me, which was really

306
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 3: silly because it's why didn't I do that on my own,

307
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 3: because I am an adult know how to order things

308
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, But like, she took it, and then

309
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,560
Speaker 3: today this year she was like, she's like, I'm not

310
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,160
Speaker 3: doing this anymore. You do it. And I was like, oh,

311
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 3: of course I would have done that originally, but it

312
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 3: just kind of made sense because you always do take over.

313
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 3: But she was doing that to help my mom. But

314
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 3: then it got too much for her because she has

315
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,320
Speaker 3: her own family. I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes perfect

316
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 3: I can do it. But it was one of those

317
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:54,520
Speaker 3: weird moments of like, oh, yeah, I naturally just allowed

318
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 3: my oldest sister to take over, and she said it

319
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 3: for you. She's like, I'm not doing this anymore, but.

320
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,840
Speaker 1: At least she said that you know.

321
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad she got it. Like, I'm glad she

322
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,159
Speaker 3: was able to acknowledge and I don't want to do

323
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,800
Speaker 3: this for this year. Right, our family did increase. We

324
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:15,840
Speaker 3: have six new members of our family this year, so

325
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 3: like I think that part was like no.

326
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, yeah, And I feel like I do think

327
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 2: my mom is like I'm a people pleaser, but she

328
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 2: is a people pleaser. Yeah, so we didn't We had

329
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,679
Speaker 2: a conversation about it this year, but she has, like

330
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 2: I do try to convince her, like you do not

331
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,120
Speaker 2: need to do all of that.

332
00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:38,959
Speaker 1: That's fine, but we don't need that. We don't want that.

333
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,639
Speaker 2: But it is a strange spot where she kept saying

334
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,880
Speaker 2: like I can do it by myself, and maybe what

335
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,639
Speaker 2: she meant was we're not going to do it, but

336
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 2: I kept being like, no, you can't do it by yourself.

337
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 1: For doing it now.

338
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,679
Speaker 2: So it's sort of one of those strange spots of

339
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 2: like I don't know how much of it is she

340
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 2: was trying to be nice to me and didn't want

341
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 2: me to work, or maybe she was like maybe we

342
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: just won't do it, and then we didn't want to

343
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 2: tell me you're right, right, So it was interesting. I'm

344
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,240
Speaker 2: glad we did it. I'm sad I miss friendsgiving. One

345
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,640
Speaker 2: of these years, I will make it.

346
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,879
Speaker 1: I tried so hard.

347
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,359
Speaker 3: Our our friends gift muss as we talked about what

348
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 3: is happening this Saturday?

349
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 1: Oh nice, I hope the terrible? Oh nice? Yes, I

350
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 1: feel like there was just a big joke about that.

351
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,959
Speaker 3: But I am that person drinks and I'm gonna take

352
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 3: them both rolled in drinks.

353
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 1: There you go.

354
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 2: That's great, honestly, honestly, I well, I don't have to

355
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 2: hear about that. I feel like this year I did

356
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 2: tell at least some of my friends about it's not

357
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,720
Speaker 2: easy for me to do friends gifts right after, like

358
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 2: if we did it a later date, but the schedules

359
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,679
Speaker 2: didn't because we did have a later anyway it did.

360
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 1: It didn't work out, But maybe next year one more time.

361
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 2: Yes, I do want to give a quick, very quick

362
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 2: update because I said I was nervous. I hadn't talked

363
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 2: to my mom about that book. I we didn't really

364
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: talk about it, but everyone mentioned it in sort of

365
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:12,479
Speaker 2: a strange, very kind way. But I was like, now,

366
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 2: I think they were all just like, we don't want

367
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 2: to discuss it. If she doesn't want to discuss it,

368
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 2: but they were all like, it's really good.

369
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 1: We really liked it.

370
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 2: Your brother too, Yeah, yeah they yeah.

371
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,400
Speaker 1: And then my mom got me to sign some of them.

372
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 2: And she's giving them like her therapist as a book

373
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 2: cal and they're doing it for their book.

374
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 3: What. No, that's that's a way to advocate though. Everybody

375
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 3: buy the book.

376
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 1: Yes. I was like, wow, that's really sweet.

377
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 3: I y very interesting. Mom's respected to being like, yeah,

378
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 3: that's my daughter. She's talking about this and this is

379
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 3: what she's talking about in the trauma of coming out, like.

380
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,159
Speaker 2: I know, but she's She's seemed pretty confident that they

381
00:19:59,200 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 2: would like it.

382
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do know. Her therapist is very liberal. She

383
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: would have to be to work with my mom. Okay.

384
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 3: I find that vaccinating because also when I went to

385
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 3: my partner's family's mother's house, she had two copies because

386
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,120
Speaker 3: I had sent her one and she bought one, and

387
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 3: the uncle, who was very conservative, apparently had said some things.

388
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 3: I was like, obviously very conservative.

389
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 1: I was like, you wrote it.

390
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 3: Like my partner, he's amazing, Like he he shouts very

391
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 3: loudly about my book, and I'm like, oh, thank you,

392
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 3: says something to him, and he picks it up and

393
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 3: starts reading it, and I'm like, we all just sat

394
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 3: there and he read it for a good five minutes

395
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 3: and then he puts it that he's like interesting. So

396
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 3: I don't know what already read it either, though probably

397
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 3: for the day. Looking for a Christmas gift, you should

398
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 3: buy this book.

399
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely absolutely I did. I do want to come

400
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 2: back and talk. Maybe we can do this in another

401
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 2: happy hour Monday, Mini. I do want to talk about

402
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 2: the because I had my brother's fiance. His grandfather came

403
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: and he he's very nice, but he likes to do

404
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: the thing where he'll be like, are you gonna tell

405
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 2: me women don't like cooking in the kitchen? And I'm like,

406
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,959
Speaker 2: but he always addresses it to me because he knows,

407
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: like I'm a feminist, right right right, And then his

408
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: granddaughter is always like stop it. But it's just a

409
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 2: very interesting He's never like really upset me. He said

410
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 2: some things where I'm like, whoa, But it is an

411
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 2: interesting thing when they're like, come on right, feminist, right

412
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 2: right right?

413
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 3: You know this is gonna piss me off, or at

414
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 3: least like I'm gonna give you a look or to

415
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 3: play it off and be nice, which is all awkward.

416
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

417
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

418
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,239
Speaker 1: I was generally just like, Okay, it's just laugh and

419
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 1: move on.

420
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: With my brother. He does that to me a lot,

421
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 3: and I'm just like, and then I just insult him.

422
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's another another way to do it.

423
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 3: Well.

424
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 2: Cheers ever, Just yeah, let us know. I would love

425
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: to hear from listeners about any of your friends giving

426
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 2: memories or traditions or any of your thoughts about any

427
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 2: of this, because I know we talked about that in

428
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 2: our recent Monday Mini. It'd be great to read some

429
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 2: of those. So yeah, if you would like to contact us,

430
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 2: you can. Our email is Stuff Media, mom Stuff at

431
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: iHeartMedia dot com, combind us on Twitter at mom Stop podcast,

432
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 2: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never told you.

433
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 1: We have a Tea Polk store, and yes we do

434
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: have a book.

435
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 2: If you're looking for gifts, yes you can get it

436
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 2: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our

437
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 2: super produced Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.

438
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 2: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening Stuff I

439
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 2: Never told you. Use production of iHeart Radio for more podcasts

440
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 2: or my heart Radio. You can check out the heart

441
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: Radio Apple podcasts, or if you listened to your favorite shows,