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Speaker 1: All right, it's time for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you are in a situation and you need some advice,

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Speaker 1: please submit your letter to Steve Harvey f M dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's Steve Harvey f M dot com. We could read

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Speaker 1: your letter on the air. Nephew. Let's go buckle up

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Speaker 1: and hold down, Todd. We got it for you here, Cowberry.

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Speaker 1: That's the brother right there. All right, subject, let's get

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Speaker 1: it started. Dear Stephen Shirley, I am I am darn

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Speaker 1: near fifty years old and my wife. Okay, you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna stop. You're gonna stop doing that with these letters.

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Speaker 1: You are just like the cuss Okay, just say it's

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Speaker 1: not you customers what they see. I am darn near

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Speaker 1: fifty years old and my wife. Let me, were you

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Speaker 1: watching CNN when Donald Trump made the s whole comment

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Speaker 1: about Haiti and Africa? Every comment take upon himself to

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Speaker 1: take an advantage of that situation because it's journalism, alright,

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Speaker 1: and be a professional journey. I am I am darn

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Speaker 1: near fifty years old and my wife is forty. We've

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Speaker 1: been married for almost ten years and have two children,

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Speaker 1: both under the age of five. I want to make

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Speaker 1: sure you all have the details. First of all, I

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Speaker 1: love my wife, but it's in all caps. B ut

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Speaker 1: all caps. But here is the problem. If I want

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Speaker 1: some cookie, I have to initiate it per cent of

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Speaker 1: the time. Sometimes she will, but it is rare to me,

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Speaker 1: rare for me. I don't want to feel like I

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Speaker 1: am forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. However,

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Speaker 1: I think we're both young enough to have the time

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Speaker 1: of our lives. I have often gone to bed frustrated

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Speaker 1: with the lack of cookie in our life. I have

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Speaker 1: gone to bed naked. I have purchased her sex sexy lingerie,

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Speaker 1: which she does not wear. I have even told her

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Speaker 1: that sometimes she can initiate the sex, but nothing changes.

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Speaker 1: I think she doesn't feel confident in her bedroom skills.

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Speaker 1: But this leaves me frustrated too often or thinking I

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Speaker 1: am just horrible in bed. She acts like I am

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Speaker 1: the best in the world when we do engage, but

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Speaker 1: why doesn't she initiated more often? I feel like she

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Speaker 1: should come and talk to me and tell me I

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Speaker 1: am not as good in bed as I think I am.

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Speaker 1: I have never cheated on my wife, and I have

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Speaker 1: no plans to, but I can't keep going to sleep

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Speaker 1: sexually frustrated? What else can I do to have her

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Speaker 1: make the first move? Or am I stuck making the

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Speaker 1: first move forever? Please help? Um? Well, I mean you

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Speaker 1: might have to. You you might have to. I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you wanted, you have to go after what you want.

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Speaker 1: You've talked to her about it. Uh, you do it

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Speaker 1: of the time. That five percent of the time. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that's all you'll have for now. Maybe she is uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: uh sexually, and maybe you have to keep going until

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Speaker 1: she gets more comfortable, or you know, maybe she'll never

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Speaker 1: get more comfortable. Maybe it was the way she was raised.

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Speaker 1: You never know unless you, guys, do have some honest

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Speaker 1: communication about your you know, uh, sexual life or lack thereof.

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Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to talk to her. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know you want these changes, Um, but you it's

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Speaker 1: your wife. You guys are married. You can talk, you

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Speaker 1: can communicate. You can tell her what you like and

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Speaker 1: what you don't like. You can keep starting it and

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Speaker 1: starting it. You want to feel like she finds you

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Speaker 1: attractive too, But when you do, she's cool with it.

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Speaker 1: You says, she acts like you're the best in the world.

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Speaker 1: So you know, maybe you guys are gonna have to

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Speaker 1: compromise and come to some sort of agreement right there,

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Speaker 1: meet in the middle somewhere. But talking and communicating is first.

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Speaker 1: I would say, Steve, well, well, well, well, well go naked,

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Speaker 1: here we go. Yeah, yeah, the married man's plight. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about this for a minute. He fifty, she foughty?

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Speaker 1: Is that what they're saying? He damned near fifty his

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Speaker 1: wife foughty. They've been married ten years and they got

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Speaker 1: two kids, both the age of under the age of five. Senior.

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Speaker 1: He sayd I want to make sure you have all

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Speaker 1: the details, was sir, right now, I need to make

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Speaker 1: sure you got all the details too, because see, two

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Speaker 1: kids under five ain't nothing sexy about that. Kids is

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Speaker 1: mood killers. Kids is buzz killers. Kids is blockers. Kids

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Speaker 1: is in the way. Kids create interference. That's what kids is.

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Speaker 1: So now that you wanted us to have the details,

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to throw that at you. Now you say, first,

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Speaker 1: you love my life, wife. But here's the problem. If

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Speaker 1: I want some cookie, I gotta initiate. At the time,

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Speaker 1: I would venture to say, I would just venture to

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Speaker 1: say that that's ninety five of the marital situation today.

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Speaker 1: I would venture to say I could be wrong, but

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Speaker 1: that's just an opinion of mine. I think in a marriage,

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Speaker 1: once them kids is here, that is usually the man

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Speaker 1: that's trying to initiate nine at the time in the manages,

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Speaker 1: not as that other thing that's some woman listening to Uh,

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Speaker 1: I can't keep my hands off their mind. Well, we're

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Speaker 1: not married to you, and you ain't in this at them.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you exist, but I ain't got time to

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Speaker 1: go find nobody else. I got jobs, I got a

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Speaker 1: legacy I'm working on, and a family. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: maintain that hole together. So now sometimes she will, but

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Speaker 1: it's rare for me. I don't want to feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm forcing her to do something she don't want to do. However,

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Speaker 1: I think we're both young enough to have the time

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Speaker 1: of our lives. I've often gone to bed frustrated with

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Speaker 1: the lack of cookie in our life. I have gone

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Speaker 1: to bed naked. That ain't nothing for me. I'm in

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Speaker 1: that naked and night. I go to bed naked because

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Speaker 1: I can't afford to having stuff getting twisted and wrapped

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Speaker 1: up on me. I got immovable objects. That's rare that

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Speaker 1: can't get tugged and tossed on. But I sleep naked

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Speaker 1: just in case, just in case. Be ready, stay ready.

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Speaker 1: I have purchased her sexy lingerate what she does not wear.

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Speaker 1: I've told her that sometimes she can initiate sex, but

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Speaker 1: nothing changes. I think she doesn't feel confident in her

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Speaker 1: bedroom skills. Dog, it's them damn kids, them kids is

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Speaker 1: wearing her hands out. You got two kids under five? Dog,

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Speaker 1: You got to understand these kids is wearing this po

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Speaker 1: woman out. She ain't got time for you, Steve, I

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Speaker 1: want this damn dog out our house. We just bought

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Speaker 1: up in here. How about that personal now, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: See this man right here, he fitted his wife for it.

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Speaker 1: They got two kids under five, and he frustrated because

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Speaker 1: hes going to bed nked because she won't initiate sex.

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Speaker 1: He got initiated in the town. Now, before I left,

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Speaker 1: what I tried to pull out to the man when

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Speaker 1: he tried to help us at the beginning of the letter.

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Speaker 1: What so we have all the fact that they have

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Speaker 1: two kids under five? It's them damn kids, them kids

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Speaker 1: is wearing this woman out. Them kids of something else.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you an example when the grandkids come over

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Speaker 1: our house. There ain't even our kids no more. I

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Speaker 1: got rid of all our kids. I thought they was gone.

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Speaker 1: But now when they come back, they bring more people

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Speaker 1: with them. They call grandkids. They sleep in the bed

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Speaker 1: with us, which kills my sleeping naked. Can't sleep naked

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Speaker 1: with the grand baby in the bed. Them kids is

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Speaker 1: mood killers. They block us. Them kids is actually birth control.

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Speaker 1: Maybe your wife ain't so and and see to get

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Speaker 1: up on you because she don't want no more kids.

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Speaker 1: That could be she threw with deep kids. She got

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Speaker 1: these two babies under five, you laying over here naked.

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Speaker 1: She set up been here man. Then Jeff put him

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Speaker 1: to sleep. She tried to get some rest because she

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Speaker 1: got to go deal with these kids. That could be it. Man,

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Speaker 1: I would venture to say that that's probably it. Now,

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Speaker 1: what are you you would like for her to initiate

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Speaker 1: this a little bit more. That ain't gonna happen. That's

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Speaker 1: all he wants. I mean, you know what. Look, we

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Speaker 1: would all like five girl to be a little bit

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Speaker 1: more forced for hey baby, you know. But for the

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Speaker 1: most part in the managers, usually the man that's initiating

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Speaker 1: it usually ain't that right. Sherlett that's right. See what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, because shearing up at the house playing the

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Speaker 1: same damn game, same damn game. What okay? Well all

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Speaker 1: right then, all right there in my head, I don't

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Speaker 1: won't know all right then, Hill, that ain't what I won't.

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Speaker 1: I want some hot fire, give it. Tell your damn

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Speaker 1: clothes off. That's what a man won't now. The man said,

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Speaker 1: ain't never cheated on his wife. He has no plans

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Speaker 1: on it. Well, you gotta fix something at the house.

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Speaker 1: But it's them damn kids though. It's just like now

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Speaker 1: our house is this damn dog. You guys have a

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Speaker 1: new dog, right, yeah, we got a new dog. Bad?

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Speaker 1: He blocking you keep talking about this dog. I didn't

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Speaker 1: ask for the dog. You ain't never heard me ask

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Speaker 1: for a dog's name. Steve black ass bad. I want

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Speaker 1: to get off barbecue and smoke cigars, Drake Scott, That's

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Speaker 1: what I want to do when I get off. Didn't

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Speaker 1: work with the Doberman. It's scared of his ask I

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Speaker 1: wish I wouldn't. What I'm not going to do it

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Speaker 1: be scared in my house. So it's the kids though,

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Speaker 1: ain't nothing you can do. You don't about the lingerie

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Speaker 1: you want her to come on to you like she

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Speaker 1: did when she was trying to get you, But them

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Speaker 1: days has probably gone. All. You're gonna have to invest

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Speaker 1: in some money to get them kids sent away somewhere. No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean it like that, sorry. I meant like

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Speaker 1: a like a babysitter, something like the nanny or something

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Speaker 1: like that. Or hell, board school. You're gonna have to

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Speaker 1: wear what people get their kids sent to boarding school

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Speaker 1: all the time, all the time. This ain't it ain't

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Speaker 1: against the law. That ain't what you wanta do. You

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Speaker 1: want to have your kids close You want to send

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Speaker 1: her to boarding school so you can have more sex. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wish I had thought of that and bad, but

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Speaker 1: I didn't because I would have missed raising my boys

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Speaker 1: and girls. So I I want them close by because

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Speaker 1: I wanted to instill some things in them that boarding

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Speaker 1: school was unable to. And I've done that. They're not perfect,

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Speaker 1: but the hell I wouldn't either. Now back to this letter,

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Speaker 1: This how it is, though, Yeah, that's just how it is.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to marriage, one oh one. I can tell you

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Speaker 1: right now you can quit going to bed naked, stop

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Speaker 1: because the damn kids gonna walk in they're getting about

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Speaker 1: the bed. You're asking that naked, and it's hard because

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Speaker 1: you don't sleep with a bath tower next to the bed.

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Speaker 1: So now you got to get up in the baby

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Speaker 1: seeing you daddy neked walk into the room and then

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Speaker 1: you didn't say if you was in shape or not

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Speaker 1: detail were. So now this maybe this walk to the

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Speaker 1: maybe you ain't as fine niked as you thought you were.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, you're cutting get out of here, emil us,

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Speaker 1: but you look like you and your second try mist

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Speaker 1: that could be throwing it off to email us their Instagram.

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Speaker 1: That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what the hell going over and please join me this

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Speaker 1: Thursday at one thirty pm Eastern on Facebook Live for

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter Live After Show. You're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.