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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters one dating app, then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is.

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Speaker 1: Whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 2: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's the dating game

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Speaker 2: show that just added Hannibal Lecter as his hall passed

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Speaker 2: who Battle of the Tinder Dates where two of our

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Speaker 2: listeners go head to head to find out whose dating

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Speaker 2: life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in

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Speaker 2: just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In

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Speaker 2: this corner, her number one aphrodisiac is eating triple to

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Speaker 2: recommend a daily dose of potassium, and that's why the

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Speaker 2: boys call her Banana Joanna.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm glad to put the bandit.

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Speaker 4: What is it?

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Speaker 3: Banana bits clustered.

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Speaker 2: And in the other corner, she buys all her sexy

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Speaker 2: lingerie at the Hudson News in the airport. And that's

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Speaker 2: why TSA knows her as duty free.

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Speaker 3: He's using a charging for it as a g stream.

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Speaker 2: I know her real secrets. But here's how the game works.

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Speaker 2: One contestant will start by one of their worst dating stories.

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Speaker 2: The other will try and counter with a nightmare story

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Speaker 2: of their own. We're going back and forth for three

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Speaker 2: rounds until we declare a winner. We're kicking it off

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Speaker 2: with Banana Joeanna, Let's do it.

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Speaker 5: Okay. So I met a guy whose dating profile said

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Speaker 5: that he rode horses professionally, which to me I thought, okay,

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Speaker 5: cowboy hot.

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Speaker 3: Oh really I was thinking like English rider up either way?

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Speaker 2: Rich?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that absolutely crossed my mind. He invited me to

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Speaker 5: watch him, and we go out and I end up

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Speaker 5: seeing him ride one of those children's mechanical horses at

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Speaker 5: the mall.

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Speaker 3: Whoa a bad boy?

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Speaker 2: But is he doing tricks and stuff?

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Speaker 3: But that's not I mean, he was just trying to

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Speaker 3: be funny, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 5: He tells me that it's a legit sport now for

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Speaker 5: adult that they have a competition in Germany for whoever

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Speaker 5: can do it the longest.

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Speaker 3: There are some weird stuff that goes down in Germany.

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Speaker 2: Well, they would literally have competition sports for everything. Seriously,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have let him get away, but.

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Speaker 5: Over to you, okay.

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Speaker 1: So this guy told me to surprise him for our

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Speaker 1: first date, which I was cool with. So I pick

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Speaker 1: him up and I take him to the zoo. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: except when we got there, he looks really sad and

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Speaker 1: tells me that we had to go somewhere else. Apparently

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Speaker 1: he's banned.

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Speaker 3: He's banned from I thought he was going to be

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Speaker 3: sad that the idols were in cages or something.

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Speaker 2: How do you get banned from the zoo?

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Speaker 1: Well, he didn't go into details, but he did say

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Speaker 1: it was the giraffe fault.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, actually I believe him. Let's get out of here.

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Speaker 3: I see Frederick, so I could google search.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I didn't ask any more questions.

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Speaker 3: So many in my head.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if we want to know. We're on

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Speaker 2: the round two. Joanna tossing it back to you.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So I met a guy walking his dog at

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Speaker 5: the local park and I was there too walking my dog,

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Speaker 5: so it's kind of natural. We just started walking together.

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Speaker 5: And once we got back to my place, I tell

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Speaker 5: him it was, you know, nice to meet him, but

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Speaker 5: this was my spot, so I got to go, and

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Speaker 5: he asks if he could check out my backyard to

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Speaker 5: see how much space I have?

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Speaker 2: All right, how much space?

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Speaker 3: I mean I would just think it's an excuse to

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Speaker 3: like be with you longer.

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Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, but to ask the space thing, that's weird. Well,

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Speaker 2: it's probably because like they both have dogs and he

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Speaker 2: wants to know, like how much space for the dogs. God,

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Speaker 2: I don't have a dog, so I didn't.

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Speaker 3: Think that way.

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Speaker 4: Okay, well that's exactly what I thought. And so we

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Speaker 4: get back there, and then all of a sudden, he yells,

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Speaker 4: gotcha and proceeds to tell me that he is in

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Speaker 4: the hoa and he knew that he hurt a little

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Speaker 4: fountain that I have in my yard, but he had

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Speaker 4: to prove it undercover, undercover each way, and he gave

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Speaker 4: me a huge fine at the end of the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah crazy, Yeah you counter.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So at dinner, I ordered a steak and my

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Speaker 1: date told me he was vegetarian. Okay, he didn't make

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Speaker 1: a big deal out of it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. Good.

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Speaker 1: Only afterwards, when he was driving me home, he pulled

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Speaker 1: over and stopped the car and started crying. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: but by a farm where he wanted me to apologize

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Speaker 1: to the cow and did you absolutely not?

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Speaker 3: I mean it would be harder to eat if it

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Speaker 3: was called cut cow.

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Speaker 2: We got to the final round here. We need your

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Speaker 2: best stories, lady, so Joanna hit us with it.

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Speaker 5: Okay. So before our date, this one guy told me

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Speaker 5: that he might get recognized for being a little famous.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and I'm.

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Speaker 5: Kind of intrigued. And then at dinner he tells me why.

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Speaker 5: And he does this by pulling up a YouTube video

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Speaker 5: of him falling off a treadmill and completely wiping out.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 5: It had one hundred and seventy million views.

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Speaker 2: Seventy million. It's definitely the one I'm thinking of in

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Speaker 2: my head, Like, there's one guy on YouTube that's just

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Speaker 2: that's really funny.

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Speaker 3: When you're running for our show, don't run that much, runner.

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Speaker 5: And ultimately he was right because the waiter did recognize him.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, treadmill family. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, I'm going to put your food.

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Speaker 2: On the ground because you're gonna end up there anyway.

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Speaker 2: Here you go, Here we go, duty free, Brie, last Chance.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I had a date with a guy and it

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Speaker 1: was so terrible that I ghosted him. But the kicker

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Speaker 1: is I had met him in the law of my

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Speaker 1: work and I just thought he was a guest. Turns

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Speaker 1: out he's the window cleaner for our buildings. So now

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Speaker 1: I see him every six months and he shows up

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Speaker 1: looking into my office. Yeah, and he has a homemade

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Speaker 1: sign that he brings back every time that says text me.

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Speaker 3: Back dedicated give him a chance.

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Speaker 2: It's the final vow that means the matches over judges.

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Speaker 2: Let's score this, Alexis.

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Speaker 3: So I gotta go.

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Speaker 2: Drianna for the h A guy for Joanna.

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Speaker 3: I'm the same. I can't get over the h OA.

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Speaker 3: Gotcha you wish me.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations Banana, Joanna, you are our lonely Lady of the Week.

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Speaker 2: And as a prize, Brook will tell you her two

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Speaker 2: word phrase to seduce any man.

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Speaker 3: Drake.

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Speaker 2: Now you know, Joanna, try it at works. Text it

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Speaker 2: into seventy Jaxson seventy five nine two if you want

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Speaker 2: up here on the next edition of Battle of the

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Speaker 2: Tender dates phone taps coming up right after this Brooke

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Speaker 3: And Jeffrey in the morning,