WEBVTT - Valuable Lessons after ‘Love is Blind’ 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:05.840 One of my favorite cast members from Love Is Blind, 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.440 Nancy Rodrigues. It was a leap of faith that I 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:11.720 was willing to take on love specifically, like is love 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:15.560 truly Blind? He was talking about how Raven was more 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:18.600 of his type? What was it that kept you that pom? 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:22.880 That was me being confident within myself. Yes, she's hot, 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:25.640 but I'm hot to the way I thought of it 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:28.080 was I already loved myself enough. Do I need you 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:31.840 to validate me as a partner? Yes? Is it required 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:39.200 for me to feel good about myself? No? What help y'all? 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:43.280 I hope you're all having a really great so far. 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:45.479 Today I'm going to be joined by one of the 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:50.519 cast members of Netflix's Love Is Blind Season three. If 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.640 you're not familiar with Love is Blind, it's a show 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:54.720 that gives strangers a chance to get to know each 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.520 other and fall in love without ever seeing each other. 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:00.360 I love to show you guys, some couples get married 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.240 and some of them don't. We're going to get into 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.680 everything from dating a younger man to lessons learned from 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:10.399 the show. So stay tuned. This is cheek, ease and chill. 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:19.480 So it's promised we have one of my favorite cast 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.560 members from Love is Mine with me right now. It's 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:26.840 none other than Nancy Rodriguez. She's a speech language pathologist 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:30.520 and a real estate investor. So welcome, Nancy. I am 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:33.240 so excited to have you. How are you? Thank you 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.200 so much for having me. I am so good. Honestly, 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.520 I just feel like it's one thing to envision, like, oh, 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.720 what's going to happen, you know, after we've been waiting 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:43.920 for so long for the show to air. But um, 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.840 there's no way that I could have imagined this or 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:50.680 even like the feeling of so much love, Like I 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:53.280 never thought that that was a thing. And I'm just 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.400 so thankful that it has been such a positive experience 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.840 for me and um overall, like my family and my friend, 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:03.240 I just feel so loved. That's so good. You are loved. 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:07.240 I definitely love you. You're one of my favorites. Thank you, 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.240 you really really are, and which is why I was like, 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.560 I need to talk to her. I have so many questions. 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.360 You're Latina. I thought your mom was super badass on 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.880 the show. Your brothers too, so it was nice to 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:20.280 see that, and so thank you for allowing us to, 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.280 you know, see your life I'm a huge fan of 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:26.440 the show, and I think that it Love Can really 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:30.280 be Blind? Do you feel like Love Can is Blind? Absolutely? 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:32.800 I mean I think for me, like the concept of 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:35.800 going on a reality TV show was never really my agenda. 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.240 It was not like, oh, one day, I want to 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:39.720 be on a reality TV show. So for me, it 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.800 was specifically Love is Blind, and it was the fact 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:46.840 that it was a social experiment, the concept of it. 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:49.679 I watched season one. That's that's the only season we 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.840 had access to. So just watching season one and knowing 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:55.120 that I could potentially be a part of this, like, 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:57.560 it was truly just a leap of faith that I 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.960 was willing to take on love and specifically like, is 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.000 love truly blind? You know? Yeah, No, I think the 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:08.720 experiment is amazing and whoever invented it is I think 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:11.440 it's just it's great. I've learned so much. I've watched 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:15.400 all three seasons, so I I have really enjoyed it. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.760 We'll get into the relationship with artist. I know there 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.240 were some lessons that you learned while on the show, 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:22.079 but I want to start with something you mentioned in 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.720 the first episode. You said you wanted to find a 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:27.560 husband and wanted to start a family. Uh, and you 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.000 said that some people have asked you when you're going 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.359 to have kids, and sometimes they assume that something's wrong 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:34.800 with you. That's something Withina's deal with, like what can 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:37.160 you talk to us a little bit about that? Yeah. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.400 So I think for my background specifically, I'm the only 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.880 girl three boys in my immediate family, and then I 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.880 do have girl cousins and guy cousins, so we are 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:49.360 a big family overall. So I think for me, I 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:51.360 did a lot of first things. So like I was, 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:54.360 you know, first generation to graduate high school, first generation 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:56.800 to go to college and then finish and then get 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.760 hired t show. I always had this like first kind 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.400 of um experience in my family, and so I think 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:06.880 for me it was like I'm doing all these first things, 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.320 but at the same time, the pressure from my aunt 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:13.160 and uncles of you know, oh, but you're twenty now, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.040 so like when are you going to get married? And 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.880 then you know, the next questions come about. So I 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:20.159 think just really finding it to where I knew my 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.440 identity came from my experiences and what I wanted to 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:26.159 do and who I wanted to be and not necessarily 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:30.120 the pressure of that question at the birthday party or 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.480 about these more or the you know whatever gathering we 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.880 had together as a family. And so it's funny because 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.360 as the years went by and I started appliring more 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.120 properties and my real estate portfolio, and we'd go to like, 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:43.719 I don't know, Kincaneta or something, and I'd haven't thea 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.159 asked me like, oh, so what's going on with your relationship? 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.360 Status would be like or when are you having kids? 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.240 I'd be like, well, um, I have two properties now, 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.280 so those are my kids. And then the next year 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:55.040 would be like, oh, well, now I have three kids 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:58.440 because I have three houses and you know, um, And 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.200 so I think for me, it's just kind of it 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:03.960 was an interesting upbringing because it was really that pressure 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:07.360 from the family side, but then also knowing where I 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:09.360 stood and what I believed and what I wanted for 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:12.919 myself and that didn't necessarily line up with what my 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:16.480 family was asking me about or wanted me to write. 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:19.200 I love that answer, And that's crazy, because I mean 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.240 I get that question all the time from family. It 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:25.600 stopped from family a long time ago, but like in 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.680 interviews and when you're gonna have kids and and it's 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:30.279 like for a long time I felt that pressure, I 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.919 was just talking about it and now like, you know what, Wait, 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:36.400 I'm busy doing other things and and I'm fine with that. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.200 I'm fine with that decision. And I love to hear 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:39.960 that from you because you feel the same way, like 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.240 I'm accomplishing things and I'm good with that. And when 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.159 it's time to have kids, that will happen. And that's 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:46.760 I love that about you. That's another thing. I was like, 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:51.640 she's a freaking intelligent woman, and I love that. I 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:53.839 love to see that you were like on your ships, 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.039 I was like, you know, shout out to you. I 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:57.960 want to give you a round of applause because I 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.760 think that's awesome. That's that's one of my goals to 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.480 see is to invest in properties. And I think it's 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:04.960 just it's time, you know what I mean it stop 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.640 spending money on all these other things. Yes, And I 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:09.960 think that's one thing to like again being a first 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.760 in my family to do so many other accomplishments that 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.000 I found valuable. Um. I think like as the years 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.520 went on, I was now being praised by my family 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.000 or my cousins or the women in my family to 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:27.200 be like, oh, Midasa, you know she's in Bali and Indonesia, 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.960 but she's also buying properties. So really just opening up 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:33.320 that avenue for my family and for my cousins. My 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.360 younger cousins now to be traveling and my cousins now 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.080 like seeing that, like we don't have to keep the 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.960 same tradition. And if and if those cousins want to 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.599 keep the same tradition, that's great too. But you know, 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.320 it's kind of like stand for what you want and 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:51.240 and really just pushed through. And if that's acquiring you know, properties, 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.599 and I think that's a great avenue, but it could 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.440 be something else. It could be traveling, it could be 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:58.480 just doing the things that maybe um, we weren't surrounded 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.400 with as a Latino could sure um and then just 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:06.200 exploring whatever that adventure could be. Right, I completely agree 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:08.320 with you. And Okay, so now we're going to get 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:12.640 into Bartis. Spoiler alert you guys, for anyone that hasn't 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:14.120 watched the show. If you haven't, I don't know where 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:17.000 you've been. Um, but you and Bartis were engaged but 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:19.280 didn't get married. And he was the one that said 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.040 know what the altar and you also said that you 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.480 trusted your gut. Did you like, did it make you 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.040 second guests your good or is that something like that 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:29.680 you struggle with like now meeting other men, or how 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.400 do you feel about that experience, Because I'm gonna tell 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.600 you straight up, I didn't think that he was going 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:37.320 to say no towards the end, especially when you gave 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:39.040 him that beautiful gift, and I think it touched his 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.760 heart and he cried, So I was very surprised. I 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:46.080 was very upset. But anyways, yeah, no, I think that 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:50.640 the way that our relationship unraveled, it truly was one 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:54.240 hour together was like dating for two weeks, and so 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:58.000 imagine ten hours together, it's like dating six months. So 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.000 every day that we were dating, we were not just 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:04.640 normally dating. We were dating with the intention of potentially 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.520 getting married, and so um we had our up center 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.880 downs and and at the beginning of our relationship a 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.520 couple of weeks in off camera, I set him aside 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.000 and I said, you know, I'm going to say no 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:18.280 to you. You're not the person that I wanted to envision, 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.520 like the person that you promised me to be, that 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.120 you were supposed to make me feel safe and comfortable 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:26.480 and as my partner as my best friend, my future husband. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.440 This is not who I'm getting. So I'm saying no 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:32.760 at the altar, and he asked me for a second chance. 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.960 And I think in that moment for me, like we've 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:39.160 all been there in relationships, whether they're platonic friendship families, 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.560 where people make mistakes and they want to learn from 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.439 them and they want to grow from them. So I'm 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:46.320 a big believer of giving someone a second chance and 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.160 not holding anything back, like truly giving them a clean 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:52.360 plate as a second chance. Not oh, here's a second chance, 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.400 but I'm also going to bring stuff up from the past, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:58.720 you know, like truly second chance. So the last two 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.280 weeks of leading up into to the wedding, it was 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.079 all positive. Everything that you got to see from us 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:10.079 private lessons, dancing and having the best dates off camera, um, 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:14.240 just really building and nurturing our relationship together. That's the 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.600 feeling that I got leading up to the wedding day. 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:20.720 So when he said no, it wasn't so much that 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:22.280 he said no because I knew it was a chance. 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.680 It was the fact that he led me to believe 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:26.920 that he was going to say yes, and any of 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:29.439 the doubts that he had at the beginning he had 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:33.440 specifically told me, I no longer have those concerns. You 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.480 were the person that I see myself with, Um, this 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:39.080 is the husband that you're going to get. Um. So 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:41.000 I think for me it was that feeling of being 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.800 blindsided and not almost like asking myself like how could 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:46.880 I be so smart? But then also like how can 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.400 I let myself down to not know that this man 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:53.720 was blindsiding me this whole time? Right? Um? And so 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.760 I think I really took that to heart, like after 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.840 the show. Really the recovery part of like the heart 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.680 A was just making sure that I was more in 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.920 tune with like what I was feeling and if there 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.040 wered doubts with people I was dating or seeing her 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:10.400 first date, second date, just really channeling with like how 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:12.440 I felt. And one thing my therapist said to me, 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:16.520 she said, going on your dates, you need to ask yourself, 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.440 how do I feel about this person? Does Nancy like 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.440 how this date is going? Does Nancy like the characteristics 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.199 of this person? Not so much like, oh I wonder 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:27.800 if he likes me? Because I think a lot of 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:30.920 the times first second dates, like you want to show 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:34.400 your best and so you're maybe asking yourself. At least 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.880 I was asking myself, I wonder if he likes me, 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.280 or I wonder if he thinks I'm funny and all 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.080 the stiff. But I'm like, no, Like I I got 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.480 to the point after the show where I really asked 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:46.640 myself the opposite of how do I feel and like 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.720 do I find them funny? And like do I like them? 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.040 And how do I feel about them? Because I think 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.040 that really will tell you a lot at the beginning, 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.440 so I had, you know, several first dates and then 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:58.080 that was it because I'm like, yeah, no, it's not 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.040 for me, like thank you, but it's not for me. 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:04.280 And I think, um, I learned that a lot from 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:09.199 the show, being that it was a very fast relationship 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:11.360 that you know, was sped up. But I think that 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.160 just overall, learning more about my boundaries and what I'm 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.040 okay with and what I'm not okay with is what 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:19.600 I got from from dating on Love is Blind. Do 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.360 you feel that maybe those last two weeks like he 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:24.120 I don't know, if you know, for the lack of 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:26.800 a better word, he bamboozled you, like maybe like do 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:29.480 you feel that it was fake? Like he wanted you 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:32.240 to like switch around to saying yes so that he 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.400 could say no, or do you think it? Just like 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.000 did you ever get a wife from him? Like? What 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.880 the heck? Yeah? No, I honestly I don't think I 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:41.880 ever got a wife from him, because I do want 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.280 to believe that he loved me, because I think that 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.680 there were moments off camera that we're so pure, that 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.560 we're so normal for us, like aside from being like 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:55.000 seven years apart, right, aside from being or six or 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.720 seven years aside from dating on on a show like 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:00.600 Love is Blind, Like we truly enjoyed each other, match 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:03.880 each other's energy so well that I want to believe 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.960 that he really did give it his all the last 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.560 two weeks. And the one thing I heard him say 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.520 in an interview, not to my face, but in an 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.920 interview was something like, had we had more time, like, 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:18.880 had we had two more weeks of the last two 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.079 weeks we had, my answer would have been different for me. 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:26.160 It was hearing that was like, okay, like, I do 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.080 understand that the last two weeks were good, And that's 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.120 what I was going off with because again, giving you 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:41.440 a second chance, I was letting go anything else I 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.599 want to talk to you about. Red flags because his 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:47.320 red flags is something that I've talked about a lot 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.000 on this show because I was in a pretty difficult 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:55.080 and somewhat toxic relationships. So that relationship taught me red 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.960 flags and not to ignore them, because I got a 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:58.520 lot of them, and I just chose to ignore them 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.840 because sometimes it's like, Okay, well we love this person, 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.120 or we choose to look past certain things. And looking 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:06.880 back at your experience, were there any red flags that 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.480 you think you missed? You know, It's funny because I 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:14.200 think in that moment filming the show, what I saw 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:18.440 as a weakness of his I wanted to embrace. And 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:20.240 I think for me, the way I thought of it 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:24.000 was whatever love I have from you, or whatever love 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.320 we can have together is extra for me, Like I 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.160 already love myself enough, So like do I need you 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:34.000 to validate me like as a partner, yes, But is 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.360 it required for me to feel good about myself? No? 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.520 So I think for me, it was really just embracing 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:43.480 him for his weaknesses, loving him through that, and really 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.800 loving him unconditionally, right um, And so I think like 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.000 that's the approach that I had when I was in 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.200 the show, when I was like Okay, we're engaged. We 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.560 made each other a promise. Not only did you make 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:57.440 me a promise, but I accepted your promise as a proposal. Right. So, 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.400 I think for me and the show, it was really 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.000 there were red flags, but I chose to follow the 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.600 green flags, and I chose to follow the actions that 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:10.080 were lining up with the green flags. And I think 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.560 a lot of the times, like in any relationship, we 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.480 talk about red flags, but there's also green flags that 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.960 I think that we can also use as a as 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.680 I guess, a metric, right. I think what was really 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.920 neat about watching it back? It was a completely different 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.800 view for me because when I watched the show, not 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.240 only was I watching it under the perspective of how 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:33.440 am I in a relationship? Because that's really neat. Like 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:35.640 I think if anybody had a chance to, like have 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.360 somebody film your relationship and see what you're like, it's 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:42.320 actually really cool like situation and so, um, what I 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:45.360 learned from that is I had a different perspective. I 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.440 should have asked more questions, right, Like when there were 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.360 differences that we had, Like I should have um set 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.440 up for myself and and inquired more because I think 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:59.040 instead of just embracing him and loving him unconditionally when 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:01.800 I wasn't getting that in return. I think that's where 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.560 my boundary wasn't there. I should have asked more questions, 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.160 and I should have. I think I should. I should 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.760 have stood up for myself in the sense that you 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.160 know at reunion, I told him what you said was disrespectful. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:15.840 And you guys didn't get to see all of our 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.040 conversation at reunion, but but I did say everything to 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.200 him that I was in my heart after watching the 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.640 entire show, I said to him what I felt that 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:28.120 I felt disrespected. I felt like he didn't handle the 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:30.800 delivery of his feelings. His feelings are fine, like have 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:32.960 your feelings, hype your thoughts, but the delivery of it 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.160 was really not okay. And so I wish I would 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.720 have said that to him in our relationship because I 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.040 think that maybe that could have allowed us to grow 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.920 more as a couple and allowed him to learn. But 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.240 I think at the same time, like I don't think 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.160 he was ready to learn. I don't. I don't know 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.280 if he was in a place where he truly wanted 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.960 to accept that as feedback. So I think for me, 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:54.320 I just took it as like, look, this is a 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:57.400 safe space. Say what you're gonna say. Yes, it will 0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.800 probably be disrespectful because you're still learning on how to 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:03.000 do liver. But overall, like I do, I wanted us 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.640 to have a relationship that was open and honest as 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:08.480 much as it was in the pause. I wanted to 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:12.080 create that same environment outside of the pods. This is 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:13.880 a really weird question, but do you know his sign 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:17.880 by any chance? Like his horoscope? He's a cancer? Oh shit, 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.960 And I'm a scorpio, And I like cancers and scorpios 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:25.320 are like they're a thing. They're so compatible. So yeah, 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.520 do you think it had to do with the age? 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:29.400 Is that? Like you think the fact that he was 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:32.720 because I have my own opinion on that. As far 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.400 as like a man in his twenties, because granted my 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.680 boyfriend's seven years younger, he's thirty, I'm thirty seven, But 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.280 I feel like a man has to go through certain stuff, 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.320 certain things, experience certain things in their twenties in order 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.120 to figure out what they really want. I feel like 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.480 not only just men women, I feel that we just 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.960 need to use our twenties to learn and experience and experiment. 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.440 I don't know. Do you think it had to do 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.920 with his age? Did that ever scare you? I think 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.920 at the beginning, it definitely scared me. Like if I 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.160 had allowed the age factor to really be a factor, 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:08.119 I would have said no to his engagement, to his proposal, 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:11.560 Like I I just know that, um, my parents have 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:15.320 a big age gap, and so like I knew that 0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:18.280 age really didn't need to be a factor. And I 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.720 actually didn't know he was twenty five until the day 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:24.879 before he proposed, So I had already started falling in 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.320 love with this person. And when when I found out 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:28.760 his age, I remember I was like, well, let me 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.040 take a guess, and I said, and it was like 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.200 dead silent, and he was. And and so even just 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.359 like the fact that I had no idea because the 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.639 way he carried himself in the pod, like I really 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:44.639 thought he was more mature. I think what happened at 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.960 least throughout the process. I think that when you say 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.560 like love is blind, I think that is true up 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:52.760 to a certain point. So I think that love is 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:56.800 blind in the pods if you can connect emotionally with someone. 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.119 I think what happened in his cases that in the 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:05.280 real world he allowed other factors to come into his opinion. 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.959 So I don't know if he was mentally emotionally strong 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:12.080 enough to hold on to like what really brought us together. 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.240 And I think that maybe because I am there. I 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:17.600 was thirty one at the time, I had already knew 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:20.119 and loved myself so much that I'm like, anything I 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.800 get from you is extra, so like we can make 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:25.200 this work, Like we can work through our our differences 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:28.560 and we can really pull through. So I think he 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:32.359 still wasn't able to get to that point because of 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.480 other factors in that he was influenced by, whether it 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:39.000 was his peers, his friend um, scrolling through social media. 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:40.760 That was one thing. We got our phones in our 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:44.680 hand when we were coming back to Dallas from Malibu, 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:48.320 and it was like, I got this weird feeling that 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.159 I ended up asking was like, do you feel like 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.080 the whole type thing, me not being your type came 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:57.760 from you scrolling on the internet and seeing to blond's 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.520 And he said yeah, He's like, yeah, that's part of it. 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.200 So I'm like, Okay, I get scrolled through my feet 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.199 and see hot guys, but I'm not going to be like, 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:08.199 oh I wish that was my husband. Because like I 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:10.200 you know what I mean. Like, so I think again, 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.840 like the influences of the outside world really impacting I 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:17.440 think his opinion still and and maybe when he gets 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:20.639 to a point where he's mature enough to hold his 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.359 true value for himself and truly love on himself or 0:19:24.359 --> 0:19:26.560 who he is and not the extra stuff and not 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:30.720 let the external things impact him. Um, I think maybe 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.720 then things could have been different. Right now that you 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.240 brought that up. I I do remember feeling like when 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:37.800 you guys were in the pod, so I'm like, he 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:43.399 seems like such a mature, intelligent year old and I 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.240 think that that's when he you know, when he like 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:46.680 he said, when he went out to the real world, 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:48.600 he was like I think he was his true self 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:52.320