WEBVTT - Henry Driver (the Sequel!) 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:05.240 I remember your because it's forever maybe my favorite. So 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:07.440 what would be your last meal? And you were like, 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:10.120 what beyond the rations that the prison provides? 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:11.000 Oh? 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.440 I thought I was so cool. I thought I was 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:17.079 so funny. Who beyond what the rations the prison provides? 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:21.440 Just be quicken? It was really that was really good? 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.640 Yeah it was. Yeah, I was trying to be funny. 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:25.480 I think I was trying to be funny the first time. 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:33.839 Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:38.160 was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players would 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:41.519 ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing the 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:42.880 other player's true nature. 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.880 In asking different people the same set of questions. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:50.080 You can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.080 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:55.800 just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:59.880 revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.800 I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:06.240 questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.640 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:13.160 the quality you like least about yourself. What relationship, real 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.240 or fictionalized, defines. 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:15.319 Love for you? 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.479 What question would you most like answered, What person, place, 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.480 or experience has shaped you the most? What would be 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.120 your last meal? And can you tell me something in 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:28.800 your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:33.320 I've gathered a group of really remarkable people, ones that 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:35.880 I am honored and humbled to have had the chance 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.520 to engage with. You may not hear their answers to 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.920 all seven of these questions. We've whittled it down to 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:46.320 which questions felt closest to their experience, or the most surprising, 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:51.160 or created the most fertile ground to connect. 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:56.960 My guest today on many questions is once again my son, 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:03.720 Henry Driver. It has it's been amazing to have recorded 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.960 with Henry over the four years that I've done this podcast, 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:11.640 and to hear him grow up, to hear how his 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:16.120 answers have changed. And I know he's my son and 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:19.960 that all mothers feel this way about their children, but 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:24.640 I think it's really interesting, particularly given what children are 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.640 going through and have gone through since COVID, to actually 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.519 keep checking in with their development and where they're at. 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:35.040 And as you can hear in this interview, my son 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:39.000 is extremely candid and explicit about his own journey with 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:42.120 mental health and how it has been for him and 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:48.000 how he faced those challenges. And it was quite shocking. Actually, 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.040 I didn't know he was going to talk about that. 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:54.440 I really tried to listen and let him talk and 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:58.080 not get emotional. But I think this generation of kids 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:05.240 has this extraordinary emotional articulation or an emotional EQ, and 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.639 they're facing their challenges. They're not hiding them away, they're 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.480 not burying them with tools of distraction, even though those 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.720 are all available, and they do do all of that stuff, 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:19.160 but they're really showing up for who they are. And 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:23.440 I found it both encouraging and enlightening as a human 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:27.079 and I felt deeply proud as a mother. I hope 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:30.920 you really enjoy this third interview with my boy. It 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:38.920 was recorded with lots of love. Where and when were 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:39.800 you happiest? 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.040 Okay? I feel like I have two answers. I have, 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:47.000 like the real answer that I know is true, and 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.480 then the answer that you, as my mom, probably want 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:51.000 to hear. 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:56.400 And well played, well played, my son, I have taught you. 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:01.440 Which I'll say both. I'll start with the one that 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:06.600 I guess that you know is true. I'd say I 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:11.440 was happiest sitting on the beach in Cornwall with our family. 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.000 I think it was before COVID. I think it was 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.280 the first time we ever went to Cornwall and just 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:24.240 sitting grilling sausages on the beach, watching the tide, just 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:28.160 sitting with everyone talking. I must have been like, I 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:29.840 don't know how old was I on the first time 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:30.640 we went to Cornwall. 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.719 I mean you were probably sex. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.320 Yeah, I still remember. I still remember it. And I 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:39.919 remember walking along the beach and finding a crystal or 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:43.039 something something like, like a really beautiful rock. 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.440 Yeah, we were turning over rocks and we were splitting 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.120 them in half, and inside were gears. 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:50.920 I got a really nice one that I really I 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.680 still have it in my room, So I think that 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:57.880 definitely was what I hope you think is what my 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:02.200 happiest moment is now. Truly for me, my happiest moment 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:07.360 is sat on my back on my bed watching TV 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:11.839 by myself, after maybe taking a warm shower, some popcorn 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.839 in my hands. That's truly where I am happiest. 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:21.159 I'm not surprised you're so nice to have offered up 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:25.680 to different answers the pastoral what my mum wants to 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.360 hear version, which is embarrassingly accurate. 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:32.320 I mean, of course, is anyone like I don't know 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:37.640 if anyone's objectively happiest anywhere. I think it's sort of 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:40.960 it depends on what you're feeling in that moment. So 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.680 I know that my truth is I'm happiest when I'm 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:48.039 sat by myself watching house my truth. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.800 My truth is when I'm on my bed, I'm eating 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.040 my popcorn, I'm watching my. 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:56.680 TV exactly, and I know my dad from work truth exactly. 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:58.360 I will live by it, and I will die. 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:01.800 That's very true, a man, Thank you very much. 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.560 You know. It's funny, though the more I've asked this question, 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:09.200 the more I've queried. More people as we've gotten further 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:11.880 away from COVID and deeper into kind of wherever we 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:17.480 are now, have queried the notion of happiness being the objective. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:22.119 Perhaps we're setting ourselves up for real hardship by going 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.240 what's your happiest moment, you know, the pinnacle of your happiness, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.520 as opposed to that being something that is really transitional. 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.760 It is never an arrival. It's a sort of a 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.760 state of being exactly might have things attached to it. 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:40.720 There's no objective happiest because it's so you know, it's 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:45.960 so interpretable. You're always feeling different feelings about where you are. Like, 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.920 even those two answers, neither of them are when I 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.320 was happiest. It's just two times that I remember and 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.400 I think, wow, I absolutely loved that, and I would 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.240 go back to I would do either of those right now. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.239 I think when people say, oh, yeah, I'm objectively happiest here, 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.600 that's just a time you're remembering that you were in 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:11.160 love with just that moment. But I think like we're 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:16.280 always experiencing happiness the moment that you're remembering as you're answering. 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.440 So I think, I don't know, my answer could be 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:20.640 different tomorrow, We'll have to see. I think that's just 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:21.800 kind of I think that's what life is. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:27.320 I agree. My friend's parents were married for like sixty years, 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.520 and I remember asking my friend's mother. I was like, 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:34.760 do you think that it was like meant and it 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:39.360 was all preordained and this moment of love and incandescent love, 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:41.440 this lasted all this time And she was like she 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:44.640 was like, no, I think if I met him the 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.480 week before, I probably wouldn't have got out with him, 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:48.240 And if I met him the week after, I wouldn't 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:49.800 have gone out with him either. I would just happen 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:50.920 to get me at the right moment. 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.880 I think that's such a great answer, though, because I 0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:58.840 feel like so many people would be like, yeah, you know, 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:02.360 it was just Yestiny brought us together, and I could 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:04.960 have met him sixty years ago, I could have met 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:09.000 him yesterday. No, you wouldn't have. Let's be honest. It 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:12.520 happened when it happened, and that's just how it went, 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:13.560 and that's life. 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:16.920 But this is also like how our household runs, which 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:22.200 is you and Addison have the pragmatic, practical approach to life, 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.880 and I'm always looking for signs, you know, and your 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:25.680 corn flax. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:28.520 Mercury's in retro grade, guys. 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:30.920 I know, by the way, it is still in retrograde, 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.760 but it's out of retrograde tomorrow. Thank you for listening. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:34.679 Thanks mom. Great. 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:36.440 Yeah, what was the thing the other day? I was 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.960 looking at the state of Henry's room, which is messy 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:41.720 like most kids' rooms, but not a double virgo. A 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.640 double virgo, you would think that things would be lined 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:46.000 up like you were in the army. And I said 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.480 to him, I was like, god, I can't believe that 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.280 you're a double virgo. And he very slowly looked back 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:53.600 over his shoulder at me, and he was like, it's 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:58.199 almost like astrological signs don't mean anything at all. 0:08:58.520 --> 0:08:59.559 It's completely true. 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.800 I mean, it's almost like it's all total bull. 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:06.440 It's fun, you know. Ooh, I was born in September. 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:07.559 I'm going to be clean. 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.960 I won't hear a word against it. You know. 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.920 I'm glad you like it, Mom, But personally, I don't 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.840 think it matters when you're born. It's just who you are. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.760 So yes, I'm going to be messy. No, I'm not 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:20.760 going to clean my room. 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:25.280 Wow, all right, Yes, you're going to do your own laundry. 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.720 I believe in facts. It's science. 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:34.040 I believe in science and popcorn exactly, many, my love. 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:37.240 What quality do you like least about yourself? Now here 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.160 at sixteen? 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:44.560 Ooh, what quality do I like least about myself? I 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:44.959 don't know. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.160 You better come up with something because that's question too. 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.600 Thanks, Mom. Yeah, put pressure on me. That always makes 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:52.320 things easier. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.520 You're good at self examination. 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:57.840 But I'm going to give multiple answers again, I'm going 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:02.000 to be pretentious. Yes, yes, I am. On a surface level. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:06.960 I think I talk a lot and I think a 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:11.359 lot of the time. I don't make up statistics necessarily. 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:15.360 I don't like make facts up. But sometimes I'll kind 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:20.240 of more than over exaggerate something, you know, I'm talking about, 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.520 like how many people in the grocery store. I would 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.320 be like, oh my god, there was fifty people in 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.400 the grocery store, and there's there was one hundred of 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:29.040 them and they all had knives and it was going 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:31.319 to be terrible, when realistically it was like it was 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:33.520 like four people and one guy was just budging up 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:36.439 against me. So I think I have a tendency to 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:41.040 not lie, but maybe just sort of, you know, to 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:42.480 dramatize exactly. 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.439 I don't know where you get that from. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:45.160 I neither do I. 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:49.160 I mean, you could be anywhere. 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:51.960 I think that when I'm talking to people. I noticed that. 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:55.000 I wish I did that less. I feel like it's 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.640 sort of just to make things more interesting. I don't 0:10:57.679 --> 0:10:58.600 know why I do it. 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.240 I wonder what that is that to do with feeling 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.920 like you need to beef up your argument, like as 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.560 if people are automatically not going to believe you, so 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.040 you have to kind of augment what you're saying with 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.160 stuff that is perhaps exaggerated. 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.320 I think it sort of depends on what I'm talking about. 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.559 I think if I'm trying to make like a story 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:22.120 more interesting, I'll exaggerate certain sort of specifics, like. 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.160 I'm afraid that's called being an act on mine. 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:27.640 Being an actor, my darling, my god. 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.280 By the way, it is literally that I do that. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.640 I also think being my generation, we talk at each 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:36.640 other and try to convince each other, and a very 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:40.120 stubborn I think I get sucked into that sometimes when 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:42.880 I'm sort of having a debate with someone, and when 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.640 I get sucked in, I get very passionate about what 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.200 I'm arguing for, and so sometimes I'll just like slip 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:53.760 out maybe a little maybe something that's not really that true, 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.760 just slip out a little bit, not a lie, just 0:11:56.840 --> 0:12:02.200 maybe a little a fact that isn't exactly correct, just 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.120 to try to make myself more right. 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.400 Oh, that's interesting. 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.720 And I noticed myself doing it, and in the moment, 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.320 I don't like it, but yeah, I know that it 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:14.760 means I'm going to win the debate. So I don't 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:18.040 correct myself. Oh my god, it's so I wish I 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.880 didn't do that. But I mean, I think that's also 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.240 just kind of being a teenager and wanting to be right. 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.600 It's so weird because you can like pull back and 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:28.920 have a hawk's eye view of like your behavior and go, 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.120 this is definitely teen behavior. I think this is in 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.160 this compartment and then this is where I would like 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:35.840 to be again. 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:38.800 I don't really want to sound pretentious, but it's like, no, 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:44.240 thank you, mom, thank you for your permission. Right, I think, like, yeah, 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:48.080 I can definitely see traits that I didn't see when 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.640 I was like ten or eleven that I have now 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.480 that I know have definitely developed as I've gone through 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:57.679 being a teenager. I can see what being a teenager, 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:59.760 what traits have come up from that? And so I 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.719 think having that standpoint, it's interesting. You know. 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:05.440 What's interesting is and I feel like I talk to 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.720 you about this sometimes that there are still behavioral patterns 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:12.160 that I have that I can see them almost like 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.760 a hole in the road up ahead. I can see 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.400 there's the hole that I've fallen into before, and all 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.440 I know I'm going to fall in again. The difference 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:24.000 between having an awareness about something and then actually changing it, 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:28.040 and sometimes you can stay in that place for a 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.880 really long time. And I guess I wish I had 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.559 had that ability to observe like you have now much earlier, 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.320 because I think it would have saved a huge amount 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.480 of time. Like this thing that you're identifying now about 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:41.920 you of like I will sometimes exaggerate because I want 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.720 to be right, Like that's a really honest thing to say, going. 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:47.839 To change it, I'm not going to we all like. 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:50.120 That, but like there's going to come a point like 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.120 the fact that you're already identifying as a character that 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.040 you're not crazy about in yourself is interesting, Like I 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.520 wonder if that will evolve, Like it's already in your awareness, 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.320 so it's more likely that it will. 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.920 Yeah, I think that's definitely conversationally and sort of on 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:05.920 a surface level. But then more as a person, I 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:09.600 overthink a lot, and you know that's kind of general. 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:12.720 Everyone kind of overthinks, but I find myself just sort 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.640 of coming back to the same thoughts of things that 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.280 what if this happens, why is this? What is going 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.760 on there? And I don't necessarily want it to go 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:26.600 because I think that mindset is a curiosity, it's wanting 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.920 to know why what's going on. But I think at 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:33.600 the same time, having that curiosity leads to me, you know, 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.960 being awake at night thinking about what is this? What 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:41.120 is that? Which I definitely I wish I didn't do that, 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.800 but I wouldn't get rid of it because I think 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:45.160 that's just part of who I am. 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:47.760 Do you think a lot of your friends that you're 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.840 mate do you think they have this as well? And 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.400 do you think that maybe part of this might stem 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:57.400 from you a little kids during COVID and this kind 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.080 of cataclysmic thing came in and reshaped I mean, God 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.400 knows that reshaped your life. We moved to another country, 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:06.600 you left everything that you'd known behind. Do you think 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.120 that that over examination is indicative of kids that sort 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.240 of live through that. Have you noticed that with your friends? 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.920 Yeah, I think on a certain level I see in 0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:17.520 my friends a lot of my friends overthink. But also 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.000 I think a lot of my friends are quite like me. 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:22.840 I mean, you've seen from my friends that come over 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.800 We're not exactly completely different people. 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:27.520 You're not, You're very similar. 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:30.960 So I think with it being because of COVID, I 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:36.680 think just generally, every generation has kind of has their thing. 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:41.480 That's sort of the world. We had COVID before. You know, 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.560 people were terrified of the two thousand and eight housing crisis. 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.840 There was the Cold War, Spanish flu It goes back. 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.720 You think generationally, there's always something that's going to keep 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:52.240 you up on line. 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:56.920 I think there's always something that is going to create overthinkers. 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:01.240 I just think now it's possibly on a bigger level 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.640 than it has been before because now we have such 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:09.280 greater access to other people's lives through the Internet. We're 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:10.880 all overthinking together. 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:17.480 It's like what it's collective, like a collective energetic overthinking. Yeah, 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.120 what do you think that creates, Like what does that breed? 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:25.600 I think with overthinking, especially when there are topics and 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.520 there are events going on in the world that are 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:32.440 pretty rough, that are very difficult to discuss and very 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.280 difficult to think about. You know, the war in Ukraine, 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.640 the situation in the Middle East that are pretty frightening. 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:43.800 I think that can lead to people being afraid, and 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:45.960 fear is ever a good thing for a lot of 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:49.800 people to be experiencing, because that leads to rash decisions, 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:54.480 It leads to anarchy of people just not listening to anyone. 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:58.280 And so I think now that it's such a mass 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.480 of people that are scared and we're all kind of 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:04.680 fueling each other. Yeah, it's this collective fear of what's 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:05.679 going on in the world. 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:08.600 I was just wondering in your feeling of overthinking and 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.879 of feeing. I agree. I think it's collective. Have you 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.000 figured out any tools that help me unwind that just. 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:18.159 Sort of help me unwind? I mean everyone has different 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.639 techniques of how they sort of cope with anything, really, 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:24.320 you know, physical stress, mental stress. But for me, it 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.600 was really just sort of like knowing that being you know, 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:30.959 I'm kind of a bit of a nerd and you know, 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:36.199 I like asking Addison about history and whatnot. It's kind 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:38.880 of knowing that these sort of things they've been present 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:43.040 throughout history, these events that each time we've said this 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.520 is the end of it all, this is the world over, 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:47.440 everyone's gonna hate each other, and this is going to 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.560 be it and every time people have come through it 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.240 and we've made it to hear. So I think anytime 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.960 I do sort of get that existential overthinking about what's happening, 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:02.240 Why is this happening. Everyone's saying this. I just sort 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.960 of think, like, this isn't some sort of completely unique, 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:13.000 crazy thing anomally, this is humanity. That we have large 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:17.560 scale events that are shocking, and this has been hundreds 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:23.359 of hundreds of years, if not thousands of you know, war, violence, atrocities. 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:27.040 And I'm not saying that that thought is comforting that 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:29.879 that did happen, that you know, people had to experience that, 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.320 But the fact that those things did happen and then 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.959 we were able to as a society continue forward and 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.800 keep on going, it's a little comforting in a way 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:41.159 that we were able to make it. 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:47.639 Oh, you're very wise, I know, very wise. I just 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.679 have this sort of like bumper sticker philosophy. It's like, 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:52.320 keep calm. 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:52.959 And carry that's what. 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:58.280 Yeah, exactly, we observably in the observable history of mankind 0:18:58.359 --> 0:18:58.679 we have. 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:02.560 Yeah, I don't know about whys. I think it's just 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:02.920 sort of. 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.600 I like that though. Hen that's opening the aperture right 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.199 on your perception of something. I'm going, Okay, this this 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:11.239 microcosm of this fear and this overthinking. Right now, if 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.600 I open the aperture and I look and see that 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.560 people have been going through this for thousands and thousands 0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:20.040 of years, and our current situation will also evolve. I 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:21.880 get caught up in the fear of what the collateral 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:26.000 damage will be of the terrible things happening. But you know, 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:26.800 ever were it? 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.760 Thus, I guess, I mean everyone's different. We all have 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:34.040 different ways of dealing with with everything. So for me 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:36.560 that might work, but then for you may you might 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:39.199 be thinking, but what if this, and so you're going 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.640 to have to find another way of realizing that we're 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.520 going to be okay? And I mean, I don't know 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:48.240 real there's no really objective way to talk about it, 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.240 because it is just it's who people are, So there's 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:53.520 no way to say this is right, this is wrong 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:55.959 on how to deal with sort of like a general 0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:59.080 anxiety for what's going on. But yeah, that's just what 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:01.680 works for me, not convincing myself, but just sort of 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:03.960 looking at the past and being like, it's gonna be, 0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:04.960 it's gonna be all right. 0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:06.040 It's gonna be okay. 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:23.480 Yeah, all right, my love. 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:29.119 Now, what relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:32.640 Okay? I do remember my answer on this one from 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:33.240 the first one. 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:35.280 The last time we did this. What was your answer? 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:37.000 I was talking about adventure Time. 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:39.840 Oh, you are talking That's right, you are talking about 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:40.960 adventure Time, talking. 0:20:40.800 --> 0:20:44.600 About Simon and his wife. And I remember that. 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:49.320 Adventure Time is an amazing cartoon, cartoon animation, a cartoon, 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.920 don't call it a cartoon, is a legendary animated. 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:55.120 Avunch times legendary. I'm not going to say the same thing. 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:57.360 I'm going to be different. I'm gonna think of another one. 0:20:57.520 --> 0:20:59.880 I'm going to go for another animation, do it. There's 0:20:59.880 --> 0:21:06.000 a show called Cyberpunk Edge Runners, which is an anime 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:10.920 that's based off video game called Cyberpunk, and there are 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:15.720 two characters. One of them is the protagonist, and they 0:21:15.760 --> 0:21:20.879 basically live inside this cyberpunk world of massive towers and 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:26.360 huge mega corporations and robots and ai and like flying 0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:29.800 cars and everything like that. And so these two characters 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:35.199 meet and their relationship is really complicated, but they're in 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:39.119 a relationship together. And I'm not going to spoil the ending, 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:44.120 but one of them has to sacrifice themselves to not 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:48.000 only save the other but sort of complete the overarching 0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:51.720 theme of the show. And I think just sort of 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:56.040 the love that was shown between them because it's not 0:21:56.080 --> 0:21:59.000