1
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,600
Speaker 1: I want to talk about hyperfixation and being the giving tree.

2
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,280
Speaker 1: So I'm first going to talk about hyperfixation, which I

3
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:25,239
Speaker 1: think I'm accurately describing. But basically, if someone asks me

4
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,520
Speaker 1: something or gives me a task, I am not capable

5
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,920
Speaker 1: of doing anything until the task is finished. So let

6
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,479
Speaker 1: me explain. It could be something that seems small. It

7
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:42,240
Speaker 1: could be that I know I need black sequin leggings. Okay.

8
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,239
Speaker 1: It could be that my friend said to me she

9
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,640
Speaker 1: needed a dress for her daughter's wedding, and I hyper

10
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:54,000
Speaker 1: fixate on this task and I go onto different websites,

11
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,320
Speaker 1: which sometimes can be forty pages of dresses, and I

12
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,680
Speaker 1: end up looking up every single dress and gown that

13
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,560
Speaker 1: we would be perfect, and sending her every single link,

14
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 1: and until I feel like I've exhausted every single option,

15
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,679
Speaker 1: I'm not done. So it's not even that I'm like

16
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,120
Speaker 1: the most generous or giving person. I mean, although it

17
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,880
Speaker 1: might be perceived that way, it's a hyperfixation. It's like

18
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 1: I just I see tunnel vision, I have to finish,

19
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,360
Speaker 1: and I keep going until it's over. Because it's also

20
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,200
Speaker 1: a little obsessive. So if I have to organize a

21
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,520
Speaker 1: kitchen or a drawer or a closet or put things

22
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,759
Speaker 1: away or unpack or put away groceries or anything. I

23
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,520
Speaker 1: can't stop until the task is finished, so I kind

24
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 1: of can't see things that need to be done because

25
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,680
Speaker 1: if I see things that need to be done and

26
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,000
Speaker 1: need to do them, so, yes, it's a probably it's

27
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,200
Speaker 1: a version of OCD, and no, I'm not a medication

28
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:50,120
Speaker 1: for it. So if someone if I that's why with

29
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:55,160
Speaker 1: my partner in relief work, if I get into something,

30
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,040
Speaker 1: so I'll call him and I'll say, Okay, I am

31
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:04,040
Speaker 1: really heartbroken over the Ppe situation during the pandemic, or

32
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 1: what's going on in Ukraine or what's going on in

33
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,240
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico or something going on. He will get activated

34
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 1: and he'll get excited because he has his own version

35
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:18,000
Speaker 1: of like addiction, you know, to the cause, and so

36
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,280
Speaker 1: he'll get all worked up. But then I'll have to

37
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,080
Speaker 1: control it because I'll have flipped the switch on and

38
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 1: I'll have to say to him, but like, we have

39
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,960
Speaker 1: to do this to a certain point. But then I

40
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000
Speaker 1: have to extricate because I used to not control myself.

41
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,639
Speaker 1: And by the way, years ago, I used to produce

42
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,720
Speaker 1: events and I was the best at producing events. I

43
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,839
Speaker 1: was the best at the p and L the best

44
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 1: at the budget. Why because I didn't miss a single detail,

45
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,320
Speaker 1: because every single floral chair, everything was put back the

46
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,160
Speaker 1: way that it was. There was no waste, every single

47
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,080
Speaker 1: food item, every I just was, you know, obsessive, and

48
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,000
Speaker 1: it wasn't good for me, but I was good for it,

49
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,400
Speaker 1: So I was excellent at it. So I am excellent

50
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,520
Speaker 1: at relief work because I am thorough, I am organized,

51
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 1: I am efficient. I execute and I don't stop until

52
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,000
Speaker 1: it's done. But it's not good for me because I

53
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,720
Speaker 1: won't be sleeping at night. And when I first started

54
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,600
Speaker 1: out and we were doing Hurricane Maria, I was up

55
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 1: all night on every chat room, fixated, focused, and I

56
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,440
Speaker 1: have to finish. So if someone asks me to help

57
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,960
Speaker 1: them with something, it could be designing their house, it

58
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,720
Speaker 1: could be helping them get a job. It could be

59
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,520
Speaker 1: choosing a wardrobe. It could be setting them up with someone.

60
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 1: It could be finding a chef for a party, or

61
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,720
Speaker 1: I'm finding a chef for my own party, or I

62
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,520
Speaker 1: need a specific food truck. It could be any or makeup.

63
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,520
Speaker 1: That's what happened in the beginning of the beauty journey

64
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,800
Speaker 1: because I was fixated on every single product, so be

65
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,600
Speaker 1: cream blush, the best cream blush, cream, bronzer, this powder,

66
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:47,440
Speaker 1: this eyelash curler, and I have to control myself. And

67
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,600
Speaker 1: the CMO of Beam Global, the company that ended up

68
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,840
Speaker 1: buying the Skinny Girl cocktails, he called me an idea

69
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,360
Speaker 1: hamster because once I got on emails with someone and

70
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,440
Speaker 1: I'm telling them an idea for a show, for a name,

71
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:03,160
Speaker 1: for a product, for anything, I hyper fixate. And so

72
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 1: everyone who knows me knows I'm like a machine and

73
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 1: I like gang, you know, would just like fire off ideas.

74
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 1: And that's why I was kind of good at reality

75
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 1: TV too, because I'd have twenty five ideas for each

76
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 1: scene and for what we were doing. And so anyway,

77
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,919
Speaker 1: it can translate into doing too much and giving too much,

78
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,320
Speaker 1: because if you don't get back, which is impossible to

79
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 1: get back at this kind of a clip, you feel

80
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,840
Speaker 1: like the giving tree and you feel like you're not

81
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,640
Speaker 1: someone's not meeting you halfway, and you can't force them

82
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 1: to meet you halfway because no one is a machine

83
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,520
Speaker 1: like you. So what you have to do is you

84
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,640
Speaker 1: have to force yourself to stop giving and doing because

85
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,000
Speaker 1: if someone asks you for something, You're just going to

86
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,560
Speaker 1: do it. That's who you are. So if your friend

87
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,600
Speaker 1: asks you one question about a wedding dress, you're going

88
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,480
Speaker 1: to go off and give them fifty five wedding dresses

89
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,080
Speaker 1: and you're overshooting the mark. So it's kind of like

90
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,919
Speaker 1: someone you know. And this could happen in relationships in French,

91
00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:05,080
Speaker 1: where you have to know your limitations and not expect

92
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,360
Speaker 1: someone else to do at the same rate as you do,

93
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 1: but also not to overdo, and also not to set

94
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 1: yourself up for situations like this. I've created a situation

95
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,960
Speaker 1: where as an accidental influencer, stuff is constantly coming to

96
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,560
Speaker 1: my house, so I have to look at it, I

97
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,920
Speaker 1: have to review it, and I keep trying to tell

98
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,560
Speaker 1: people not to send it. But people are also addicted

99
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,720
Speaker 1: to me reviewing products, so I keep getting things and

100
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,360
Speaker 1: they want a good review, and so I'm also trying

101
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,120
Speaker 1: to not get things because if I see that it's here,

102
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to look at it and open it.

103
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,760
Speaker 1: And this is also extremely obsessive. I'm well aware. We

104
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,279
Speaker 1: don't have to criticize me. You't have to tell me.

105
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,440
Speaker 1: You enough to tell me. I need to seek help.

106
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 1: I talk to someone like it's a situation. But I

107
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:46,839
Speaker 1: definitely have to intervene in my own habits because otherwise

108
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,000
Speaker 1: I become the giving tree and I feel depleted, and

109
00:05:50,040 --> 00:06:07,240
Speaker 1: it's honestly my fault. Now, let's talk about that the

110
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,640
Speaker 1: post that I did not know was going to break

111
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,960
Speaker 1: the Internet, that I just posted the fireplace post with

112
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,320
Speaker 1: a heated throw and a guy. Sometimes I forget the

113
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:19,360
Speaker 1: pockets that different social media. This is why magazines. Another

114
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,040
Speaker 1: archaic form is magazines. Magazines. When you sat in the

115
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,960
Speaker 1: nail salon and looked at a glossy magazine as someone

116
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,560
Speaker 1: on the cover, it's like, who cares? You know? I

117
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,919
Speaker 1: don't do morning TV shows anymore. It means I have

118
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,640
Speaker 1: to leave my house, take a shower, get glam, go somewhere.

119
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,320
Speaker 1: For what. I have my own TV show, it's my

120
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:42,520
Speaker 1: own phone. It's archaic. So I forget that because if

121
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,479
Speaker 1: I want to talk about something, I want to announce something.

122
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,440
Speaker 1: Remember when like Beyonce dropped her album herself on iTunes,

123
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,200
Speaker 1: like she wasn't going through the dog and Pony show

124
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 1: of like a label or any of that shit. It's like,

125
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,320
Speaker 1: I've got my own music. I did it, I'm dropping it. Remember,

126
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,120
Speaker 1: when like Taylor Swift took back her own fucking content

127
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,160
Speaker 1: because the Scooter Braun debacle. It's called like you're your

128
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 1: own content, your own podcast, you can self publish, you

129
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,240
Speaker 1: could do whatever you want. So I was just I

130
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,359
Speaker 1: just wanted to eat. I like TikTok is a creative

131
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,280
Speaker 1: for me. It's like a garage band. So I'm just

132
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,120
Speaker 1: sitting there like Wan liking that song and it like

133
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,560
Speaker 1: just I saw him sitting by the fireplace making a

134
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,920
Speaker 1: fire and it just like was like, em my man,

135
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,680
Speaker 1: thank you for my man. It's a sound on TikTok.

136
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,800
Speaker 1: It just I just posted in two seconds and there

137
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,640
Speaker 1: are articles about it, and it's like everybody has to

138
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,440
Speaker 1: make it into something like now all of a sudden,

139
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,840
Speaker 1: I'm like getting married, I'm registering for China. And this

140
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,360
Speaker 1: is what happens with relationships where everyone makes it into

141
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,880
Speaker 1: something like I genuinely if I don't post someone's face

142
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,480
Speaker 1: or say anything, it's not a hard launch, Like it

143
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 1: was just a fun post. What if it was just

144
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 1: it could have literally been a one night stand that

145
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,680
Speaker 1: a guy had a heated throw that he got me,

146
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,200
Speaker 1: you know, like it wasn't. But the point is like

147
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 1: everyone's so crazy and starving, and they want to bring

148
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,960
Speaker 1: you up and then take you down. You know, like

149
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,520
Speaker 1: like you're supposed to want your own privacy, but you

150
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,840
Speaker 1: have to share with everybody exactly what's going on and

151
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,640
Speaker 1: what you're doing. And they are so loving and they

152
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,320
Speaker 1: glamorize your relationship into perfection and the romance and like

153
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 1: a man making me a fire and buying me a blanket,

154
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,160
Speaker 1: it's as if he bought me an island and you know,

155
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 1: a canary diamond. And everybody's got like these fantasies going

156
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,480
Speaker 1: on in their mind about what it is. And then

157
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,400
Speaker 1: you know, people want to take you on the ride,

158
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 1: and if something doesn't work out, then everyone wants it

159
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,079
Speaker 1: to crash and burn, and like everyone gets dragged along.

160
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,520
Speaker 1: They've got to do the greatest hits of all my

161
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,240
Speaker 1: relationships and talk about my daughter. And it's just like

162
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,040
Speaker 1: and yet it's hard to stay private. I'll tell you

163
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 1: why it's hard to stay private. It's hard to stay

164
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,400
Speaker 1: private because let's say, go to a restaurant with someone

165
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,600
Speaker 1: that I like. So let's say in the beginning, I'm

166
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,520
Speaker 1: cautious and I don't want someone to be public at

167
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 1: all because I just don't want this to defy me,

168
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,920
Speaker 1: and I don't want this to be a soft launch,

169
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,800
Speaker 1: a lukewarm launch, or any launch. I'm just out with somebody.

170
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,400
Speaker 1: But let's say I get paparazzi, then it's out there.

171
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 1: Now there's twenty seven articles. I mean, there are people

172
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,640
Speaker 1: who have been scene for one night. Literally. It's how

173
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,400
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian started her fame. She was at I heard

174
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,920
Speaker 1: the story because I know the people that were there.

175
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,960
Speaker 1: She was out and she stood next to Nicolache and

176
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,960
Speaker 1: she got photographed and it went everywhere, and she just

177
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 1: kept like raising her public stock that she wasn't really

178
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,480
Speaker 1: with him, you know, like maybe she went out with

179
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,120
Speaker 1: him once, But if you're out with someone once, it

180
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,160
Speaker 1: could become like a fantasy that everyone thinks you guys

181
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 1: are in a mad, crazy relationship. So you want us

182
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,520
Speaker 1: sort of be careful. But let's say go to dinner

183
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:27,560
Speaker 1: with someone and we got paparazzi. Then they look them up,

184
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,720
Speaker 1: they find out who it is, and we're off to

185
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,600
Speaker 1: the races. And the relationship might not be ready for

186
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,320
Speaker 1: that because that person may get gunshy and scared, and

187
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,079
Speaker 1: you know, let's say you're just on your first date,

188
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,680
Speaker 1: and then other people don't want to date you because

189
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,640
Speaker 1: they're reading that you're out and you're like in a

190
00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,079
Speaker 1: serious relationship. So let's say you go on a couple

191
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,599
Speaker 1: of dates. Let's say you like someone. Let's say you

192
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,120
Speaker 1: sleep with someone. Let's say they could be the one.

193
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,719
Speaker 1: You have no idea. It's a month and they could

194
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: be the one, they could be the not one. It's

195
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,280
Speaker 1: a month. Then you've been photographed. You're trying to get

196
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 1: through that. Now you know, maybe they don't want put

197
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 1: pr they don't want it at all. They like you,

198
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,600
Speaker 1: they're interested in you. They don't want a public persona.

199
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,520
Speaker 1: Maybe their family doesn't want that. Maybe it's not good

200
00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 1: for their business. Maybe they have you know, they work

201
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,040
Speaker 1: in a private field. Okay. And then you're out to

202
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 1: dinner and you're out with a bunch of people and

203
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,640
Speaker 1: you're out let's say REOs, or you're out at Carbone

204
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,320
Speaker 1: and you're taking pictures. You're like excluding them. You're taking

205
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,240
Speaker 1: pictures because you're living your life and like there, or

206
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,880
Speaker 1: you all take a group picture. Someone says you want

207
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 1: to get a group picture. Then you want to post

208
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,240
Speaker 1: it because you just want to be like I was

209
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,880
Speaker 1: at REO's or I was somewhere, and you're excluding this

210
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,560
Speaker 1: person because you've decided. You've said to yourself, I don't

211
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,320
Speaker 1: want this to be a public thing yet. And by

212
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: the way, this can apply to the cul de sac

213
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,160
Speaker 1: I always talk about the cul de sac doesn't have

214
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,560
Speaker 1: to be, you know, public domain. It could be like

215
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 1: in your life, you're not ready for people to know,

216
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,360
Speaker 1: but now you're leaving people out of pictures. And now

217
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 1: you're leaving people out of activities because you don't want

218
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,280
Speaker 1: other people to see it. So now you're leaving people

219
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 1: out of pictures, and you post a picture of you

220
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,200
Speaker 1: at Carbone or a Rockefeller Center or something, and then

221
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,319
Speaker 1: it could be like marginalizing the other person. And then

222
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,400
Speaker 1: people think you are still single, so still reaching out

223
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,920
Speaker 1: to you. And I'm telling you, if the situation were reversed,

224
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,840
Speaker 1: I would not want someone to exclude me. I might

225
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 1: not want to be public, but I also don't want

226
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,200
Speaker 1: to be invisible. I don't want to be excluded. So

227
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,040
Speaker 1: now there you're in a rock and a hard place.

228
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,000
Speaker 1: Both parties are between a rock and a hard place.

229
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:23,280
Speaker 1: So then you know you're at an event. Let's say

230
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,000
Speaker 1: you're at the Yellowstone premiere, and a photographer says to you,

231
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,400
Speaker 1: can I get a picture of you? Guys, You're out

232
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,599
Speaker 1: on a date with a man. You're standing next to

233
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,800
Speaker 1: Jay Cutler and his girlfriend who you saw wearing a ring,

234
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,920
Speaker 1: and you know before anybody else knows that they're engaged.

235
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,480
Speaker 1: You're not saying anything, and a photographer says, can we

236
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,520
Speaker 1: get a picture? I was already thinking, shit, the guy

237
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,880
Speaker 1: had a dui. Shit, the guy's engage. Are they gonna notice?

238
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,400
Speaker 1: But I can't be responsible for everyone? And shit, now

239
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,000
Speaker 1: if we get a picture taken, the guy that I'm

240
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,880
Speaker 1: standing with thinks this is just a picture taken at

241
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,520
Speaker 1: the event. He doesn't know this is going to be

242
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,920
Speaker 1: international news. Lo and behold the next day it's in

243
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,920
Speaker 1: every fucking magazine. And then you're like, shit, I want

244
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,560
Speaker 1: to start my diet again because last time I got fun.

245
00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,439
Speaker 1: So then you're like, I want to start my diet again.

246
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,160
Speaker 1: Then you're out on another event, and then someone comes

247
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,680
Speaker 1: up to you because you also want to bring a

248
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,560
Speaker 1: guy on an event. You don't want to be invited

249
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,640
Speaker 1: to something and be alone, especially during the holidays. Let's

250
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,400
Speaker 1: say you're seeing someone you might want to bring them

251
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,280
Speaker 1: to something. Then a photographer comes up to you. You're like,

252
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,920
Speaker 1: you just went through this, and you're like, no, thank you,

253
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,319
Speaker 1: it's okay. And it feels awkward. It feels like you're

254
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 1: embarrassed to the person you're with. You're in shamed, You're ashamed.

255
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,520
Speaker 1: You don't want to be seen with them, like you're not.

256
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,040
Speaker 1: You are running game. You want to sleep with other people,

257
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,480
Speaker 1: you want to date other people. Why don't you want

258
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,360
Speaker 1: to take a picture with them, even though they know

259
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,480
Speaker 1: they really kind of might not want it either, because

260
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,160
Speaker 1: the game moves quickly and the next day they're going

261
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,040
Speaker 1: to be in twenty articles again. But it's like you're

262
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,400
Speaker 1: damned if you do, damned if you don't. So you

263
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,839
Speaker 1: don't take a picture. And then you're sitting in front

264
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,320
Speaker 1: of a fireplace and it's a cute and you're like,

265
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,840
Speaker 1: you want to include the man, just to be like, ah, yes,

266
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm seeing a man, like I'm seeing someone. He's here

267
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 1: right now, he's a nice guy. He's making me a fire.

268
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,520
Speaker 1: It's cute. This is a TikTok sound. I connect with

269
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,520
Speaker 1: my people. I want to include them, their nosy bitches,

270
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,960
Speaker 1: let's go. And then that thing becomes the hard launch

271
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,720
Speaker 1: when you've posted a picture with the back of their head,

272
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,439
Speaker 1: you know, just like I did on my birthday. It

273
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,160
Speaker 1: was a ten photo slider, and they're just happened to

274
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 1: be me holding a man's head from behind, because it's

275
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,160
Speaker 1: not a soft launch and it's not a hard launch.

276
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,839
Speaker 1: It's just saying I was holding someone's hands, and the

277
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,520
Speaker 1: romance part of me and the dating adventure era of

278
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,439
Speaker 1: me is alive. It does not mean that I am

279
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,880
Speaker 1: ring shopping and shopping for China. It's just that it's

280
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,480
Speaker 1: not exactly and no one needs to like feel bad

281
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,440
Speaker 1: for me. I have a great life, I'm happy. I'm

282
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,080
Speaker 1: just explaining that not everything is what it seems for

283
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:36,079
Speaker 1: certain people. You know, I really really admire Ryan Gosling

284
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:41,319
Speaker 1: and his wife and their militant way of keeping their

285
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 1: relationship private, but yet we still know wh they're in

286
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 1: a relationship. I remember Katie Holmes was dating Jamie Fox.

287
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,760
Speaker 1: It was the best, it was the worst kept secret.

288
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 1: They were fully together because they got photographed. Did she

289
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,400
Speaker 1: hard launch it? No? Does it make a difference. Was

290
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,839
Speaker 1: it still international news? Yeah? When they broke up, was

291
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,880
Speaker 1: it still international news? Yeah? It's pretty hard to keep

292
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,920
Speaker 1: something private, is what I'm saying. If people give a

293
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,480
Speaker 1: shit about what you're doing and not, everything is as

294
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,880
Speaker 1: it seems, so don't believe everything you read. Don't believe

295
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 1: every picture you see. Don't believe hard launch soft launch

296
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,640
Speaker 1: paparazzi pictures like, Yes, they're an indication, but they don't

297
00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,160
Speaker 1: mean everything. Does that make sense