WEBVTT - Grit and Grace with Natalie Woods Stanyer 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.280 Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Shick and I'm 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.480 joined by my co host and wife, Ashley Shick. 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.959 Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:20.959 gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans, 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:24.560 first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:27.920 and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.040 At One Tribe Foundation, we. 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:32.640 Believe everyone has a story to tell, not only about 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:34.920 the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through to 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:36.360 get them to where they are today. 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:39.199 Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.640 to share with us the lessons they've learned that shaped 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.640 who they are and what they're doing to pay it 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.000 forward and give back. 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:47.600 Our mission with this show is to dig deep into 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:49.960 our guest journeys so that we can celebrate the hope 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:51.880 and inspiration their story has to offer. 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.600 We're thrilled you're joining us again. 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:56.120 Welcome to the Good Stuff. 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.320 Today's episode is a lot of fun. 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:07.920 For me and her. You both are pretty amazing, and 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:10.200 then you're out amazing everybody else. 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:11.880 Well, thank you, babe. 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:16.120 Well those facts. Today our guess is Natalie wood Stanier. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.200 She's here to tell us the story of her childhood 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:21.120 and the hardship she faced growing up. She's someone we 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:25.000 definitely consider family. She's an accomplished reporter and TV producer, 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:30.039 Dallas Cowboys cheerleader alumni, and she's proven it doesn't matter 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:32.800 where you started, you can accomplish anything you put your 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.920 mind to. This conversation with Natalie was amazing for me 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:37.600 because it always is fun when the two of you 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:39.920 get together and I get to see how beautiful your 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:40.640 friendship is. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:42.640 Agreed, so blest. 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.480 Very blest few Natalie's come along your life journey. 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.920 Agreed absolutely, and there's only one Natalie. 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:52.000 That's the truest thing that's ever been said on this show. 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:55.840 We know y'all are gonna love Natalie's story. 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:57.160 Absolutely. 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:04.800 I'm so excited to sit down with you and have 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.520 you on the good stuff because so much of my 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:11.200 life has been good because of our friendship. We go 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:17.080 way back, way back, way back like Cadillacs. Yes, Natalie 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.560 wood Stand, You're thrilled to have you with us today. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:23.400 I was actually Natalie's intern, babe. True, that's how we met. 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:26.359 Pretty much my whole life is because of her. Natalie 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:30.480 was this beautiful glamorous TV host in Austin, Texas, and 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.320 I needed one more internship for college. I was in 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:36.160 my senior year in college in Saint Marcus, and she said, well, 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:37.040 come be my intern. 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:41.320 Yes, just like that, I'm hired. Okay, cool, what does 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:42.120 it pay? Nothing? 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.880 You get hired for free your experience? Yes, experience, and 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.520 I did. I gained a lot of that, and then 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.080 step into your previous role. 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:51.200 Well, you copied me. 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.200 She actually got the job because I would be on 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.280 camera and she would watch me, and then I'd say, 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:57.080 do you want to try it? 0:02:57.160 --> 0:02:59.200 So she would actually make fun of me. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.760 Way, but being able to do that making fun of someone, 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.320 you actually end up getting your own kind of developing 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.720 your own personality which is already there, but how you 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:11.520 portray that on camera maybe different. So anyway, she was 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.200 really just a natural from the very beginning. So when 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:17.120 I went to our Dallas market, she slid right on 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:21.200 in that position in our Austin market and she was amazing. 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:24.240 So not brown hair braces though, no, no, no we. 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:27.560 Inmitation is a sincereous form of flatteryentually, and I was 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.120 I was mocking her, and they had already interviewed a 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.400 lot of other potential hosts. 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.680 And with experience, and then Hazelwood, our good friend Ryan Hazelwood, 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:39.080 who was both of our photographer for years, said, Kmire Camrath, 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:40.440 show them what you got and I was like, no, 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:42.080 I don't want to. And they were like, he's like nope, 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:43.800 show him and I did and then they were like 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:46.840 you're hired. I was like, oh crap. But it was 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:48.280 a lot of fun. We did that the Hot on 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:52.320 Homes TV show for many moons and fortunately just remained 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.560 really good friends. And that's just grown and grown and 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:55.480 grown over the years. 0:03:55.520 --> 0:04:02.000 And yeah, we went through like pets, boyfriend, jobs, different 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:06.120 avenues of our lives together and good and the bad. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:07.680 We were able to stick together. 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.040 Like legitimate sisters. Yep. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.400 Like you always say, babe, like you know, let us 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:15.560 thicker than water, hold my salad and watch this. Wester 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.760 Radalie is through and through one of my sisters. 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:20.040 Yeah. I believe that we choose. 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.600 Our family is now she's one of your sisters too. 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:24.840 Yeah. It's a blessing and a curse. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.120 When he and I first met, we found out how 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:31.279 much we had in common. It was it was crazy 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.640 good and then we have you in common, which we 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:35.719 both love so much well. 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:38.280 And one of the things that I think so many 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:40.960 people are attracted to the both of you is that 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:45.440 you're so open to listen to people with zero judgment, 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:47.560 like this is in no judgment zone, and people just 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:50.520 know that. I've seen for both of you for twenty 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.400 years our friendship and then eight nine years our friendship 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.600 and now you know, relationship. People are drawn to your 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.760 energy and they feel so comfortable with you right off 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.880 the b that and it gives them the opportunity to 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:04.440 open up. I mean a lot of times for y'all, 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:06.279 it's like people are spilling their soul to you, and 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:07.440 you're like, whoa you know. 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:09.520 Also blessing and a curse exactly. 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.760 But you're both so gracious in listening and helping, and 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:14.839 I've surrounded myself with amazing people. 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:16.480 It's interesting you say that, because if we could say 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:19.440 the same exact thing about you. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:20.080 Just. 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:23.960 He got jokes. He's got jokes for days. 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.080 Natalie. We wanted to have you on the good Stuff 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:32.080 for many reasons. You are a beautiful human inside and out, 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:34.400 and we are so blessed to call you friend. You're 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:39.279 an incredible wife, mother, and stepmother. You know, your husband 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:42.160 is a former black Hawk pilot Joseph Stanier, and you're 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:45.080 a television host, you're a producer, you're a former Dallas 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.240 Cowboys cheerleader. I mean, that's kind of a big deal, 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.240 especially here in Dallas, Texas. 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:53.320 It's probably a big deal in your world, period, isn't it. 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.360 When it comes to the NFL. 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.520 Really, I would say the most notable team when it 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.800 comes to cheerleaders will be the Dallas Boys cheerleaders. 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:02.600 Fair you probably. 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:05.640 Can't describe a Minnesota Vikings cheerleader uniform to me, maybe 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.000 you can, but I can guarantee you people in Minnesota 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:12.960 probably can somewhat describe a Dallas Cowboys chrailader's uniform. And 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.680 that's just because of what they've done from a marketing standpoint, 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.080 a longevity standpoint, and they've kind of been the leader 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.159 in the industry, and I wanted to be a part 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:23.400 of that. So that was I started that long process 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.840 to trying out and making the team. And I love 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:26.479 the Cowboys. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:28.679 It was a good fit and you were actually devoted 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.679 number thirty three hottest Dallas Cowboy cheerleader of all time. 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.880 Right it's number thirty three. There it is. 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.880 I don't really know what the source was, but it 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:38.680 doesn't matter because I made the. 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.480 List that's going on the resume. 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:49.400 You've accomplished so much in your short life and been 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.440 a part of so many incredible things, and your energy 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.360 it's beautiful and it brings everyone else up when they're 0:06:55.400 --> 0:07:00.520 around you. But it didn't always go way now. 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:01.040 It was rough. 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:02.200 You had a rough start. 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.559 People see you and they see this gorgeous woman who's 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:06.960 done so much and accomplished so much and is so 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:09.760 kind and so giving, but they have no idea the 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:13.720 path that you've walked. Tell us about your childhood. 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:19.160 So my mom and dad divorced when I was an infant, 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.600 or when I was born. Actually, I don't even think 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:23.640 that my dad came to the hospital to see me 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:24.960 because he had already. 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:25.480 Kind of moved on. 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:28.880 So my mom really was the one who was in 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.400 my life. She was a bartender my whole life, and beautiful. 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:35.160 My mom was so beautiful, So there's a lot that 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.280 gave her power with that behind the bar, but also 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:43.240 her poor decisions and life choices in men in alcohol 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.360 and drugs seeped into our lives, and that affected me 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.760 as a child. So I mean, I remember even in 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:53.480 elementary if my mom came home after working, but she 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.160 probably usually drank before she came home, And so in 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.360 the mornings, I would get myself up for school. 0:07:58.680 --> 0:07:59.800 I would get myself ready. 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.120 If there was breakfast in there, I would eat breakfast, 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:04.520 and then I would go to her purse and I 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.720 would go get a dollar ten because that's how much 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.640 the lunch was at school. If there wasn't a dollar 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:11.560 ten in her purse, then I didn't eat lunch that day. 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.080 And I couldn't wake my mom up to tell her 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.960 because she was in no place physically. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:19.320 Yeah, she was passed out, so there was no way. 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:20.880 So I remember going to school. 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:24.000 I remember sitting in the third grade and somebody didn't 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:26.160 eat their pizza, so the teacher brought it over to me. 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:28.600 Where did you grow up? And tell me about your 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:29.360 living conditions? 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:33.440 So we lived in Conroe, Texas. I love Conro, but 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.440 we moved a lot, We got evicted a lot. So 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.560 I mean, when I drive down I forty five, I 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:42.880 can point out minimum seven apartment complexes that I lived 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:46.240 in on I forty five. So forget about the places 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:49.240 that I lived, like within the city, so. 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:50.240 That was tough. 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:52.520 We lived in a few trailers, but I still had 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:54.800 roof over my head. Have you ever been in a trailer? 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.400 I have, Okay, So this is how it goes. It's 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:00.160 like a maybe a little room, and then a bathroom, 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.640 and then the washer and dryer, and then a back room, 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:06.160 and then on the other side there's like a master bedroom. Yeah, 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.559 mine was the back bedroom. To get to my room, 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.040 I had to jump over a rotting floor because I 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:13.280 could have fallen in fallen through the hole. 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:16.000 So what kind of fifth grader were you? 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:21.479 The personality you've seen, the lack of filter, the hyperactivity, 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:23.960 this kid full of life. That's always been me, even 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:26.920 despite some of the situations and the scary nights that 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:27.520 I was in. 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:29.920 For some reason, have always been able to be. 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:35.960 This outgoing, gregarious, center of attention kind of personality even 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:36.720 as a fifth grader. 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:38.280 It's just I've always wanted to perform. 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:40.520 I didn't really have a fear of getting on a stage, 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:41.400 even though I wasn't good. 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.040 I don't know what I was getting on the stage four, 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:43.559 but I would. 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:47.840 And so I have always had a very outgoing personality. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.480 You're just sitting here putting on this good face and 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:53.760 being in drill team and active and putting a good 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:57.040 face forward, but still going home to a situation where 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.880 it wasn't a safe environment. And I also didn't know 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:01.640 what condition my mom would be in when I was there. 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:05.120 And I was a bus kid, So there's a church 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:07.640 that would always pick me up on Sundays and Wednesdays, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.520 and I loved going to church, and I would go 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:14.280 there and I would see the love in this environment, 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.960 and that's what I wanted, Like, I just wanted this 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.400 stability that I felt in church every Sunday morning, and 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:21.800 I went to night church and then I went to 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.400 Wednesday church and I saw that and it's what I 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:29.680 gravitated to because I felt the love that this congregation 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:32.960 had for each other. And I also knew what condition 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.280 mentally they would be in when I was there as well, 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.640 which I feel like gave me some bit of stability. 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.520 I was in the fifth grade and at that point 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.320 we lived in a town called Willis, which is just 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:48.000 a little north of Conro. We were in this condo 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:53.160 and I came home and I remember hearing my mom. 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:56.280 She was doing lines of coke. And that's the only 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:58.880 time I've ever heard my mom doing cocaine. I've never 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.439 had seen it or hurt, but I knew and I 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:04.920 knew what it was, and I just I cried because 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:06.880 I wanted my mom to be what I thought was 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.599 the version of normal, a normal mom, and I just 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.000 knew she wasn't, and she's sitting there doing drugs. 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.719 She didn't realize I was home. And it was at 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:16.360 that moment that. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.079 I prayed to the Lord and I decided, Okay, I'm 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:20.920 going to make a deal with God, because that's what 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.200 fifth graders do. They make a deal, like, Hey, if 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:24.960 I make this deal with God, then he'll help me 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.480 kind of deliver me from this because I knew that's 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:30.120 not where I wanted to be, and even as a 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.920 little girl, I knew I wanted to be. I didn't 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.400 want to be taken care of by a man because 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.440 I'd never seen that. I wanted to be independent, and 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.080 I knew, like women in the church who were independent, 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:41.679 I could do it. I just had to figure out 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.840 how to do it. So I prayed to God and 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:50.200 I said, I won't drink ever, I won't smoke or 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:53.080 do drugs, and I won't have sex until i'm married, 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.400 if you'll please help me not to end up like 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.760 my mom while she was doing lines of coke. And 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.280 that's how desperate I was. I wanted to figure it out. 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.960 I wanted to fight. I wanted to come above that, 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.520 because it's not fun when you come home from school 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.400 and you can't bring friends home, right because you don't 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.680 know what condition your mom is going to be in, 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.920 or she's going to be there, or in honestly, what 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.520 condition the house is going to be in. Clothes weren't washed, 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.120 and it just wasn't taking care of Again, when you're 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:25.600 serving a god of alcohol and drugs and sex and 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:30.199 center of attention, right, the children are going to pay 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.640 the price. So I knew I had to figure that out. 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.640 And I thought, if I don't drink and I don't 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.760 do drugs, and I don't smoke, and I don't center 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.600 my life around men, then maybe that's a good path 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:45.040 to have. And I think that was also being probably 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:46.760 taught to me in the church that I was going 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.439 to as well as far as good choice is good life, 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.600 bad choice is bad life. Here's a fifth grader now going, Okay, 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.160 I made this deal with God, and I know he'll 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:55.600 hold up on his end, but I got to hold 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.200 up on mine. And the men she brought home also 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.360 brought in another element concern for me. Some of the 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.400 men that my mom brought home took advantage of me 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.320 because she was passed out on the couch, so they 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:13.480 took advantage of me sexually. The first time I remember 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:20.480 that happening was, oh gosh, definitely happened in the third grade, 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.200 and I'm trying to remember. I think it happened probably 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:25.280 in the second grade. And then my mom dated a 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.280 man for a very long time that lived in our 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:30.959 house who would he never touched me. I just called 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:34.000 him staring at me, or he would open my blinds 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:35.800 just the perfect way so that when I was in 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.520 my bedroom he could come out and watch me. I mean, 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:41.160 he was that guy former pastor. It's interesting because you 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:44.160 always hear about kids not telling that stuff, and I 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.960 don't know that I ever told anybody because I didn't 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:49.040 know where I would go. You know, it was still 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.839 my mom number one, who I love so much, and 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:55.480 I still had her, but I didn't. 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:56.000 I don't know. 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.000 I mean, I had I had the church, I could 0:13:58.040 --> 0:13:59.440 have told the church, and I didn't. 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.720 Same me, I was molested when I was young, and 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:06.640 it was like it was just such a different time 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:10.160 and it's still I think it hadn't changed a whole lot, 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.120 Like who do you tell you? You just don't talk 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.040 about that stuff to me from what I remember in 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:17.920 the church I grew up, and even in the church, 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:22.360 you put on your Sonday best and you go act 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.680 like everything's rainbows, roses and lollipops. Like I don't remember 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.280 there being a whole lot of vulnerability. I don't remember 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:35.360 there being a whole lot of conviction and being authentic 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:39.640 and genuine. And not to say that it didn't have 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:44.400 its positives, because it definitely did, but I feel like 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:49.720 as far as from an emotional and psychological standpoint, it 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:54.320 didn't do a lot and helping me grow and looking 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.440 back on it now as an adult and having lived 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:01.320 a life I've lived, like it's to discuss me, Like 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:04.880 I think there was a bunch of cowardice and ignorance, 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:10.400 both chosen and for me. You can't be a pillar 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.960 or a leader in your community if you're one of those, 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.240 because there's kids around you. One and four is what 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:21.080 the statistics show, right, One in four children that are 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:24.680 sexually molested, sexually violated one way or the other. I'd 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:26.520 be willing to bet it's higher than that. I mean, 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.840 that's the ones that could, that were strong enough to 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:29.440 say something. 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.880 I mean, Jay, there's three people in this room, and 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:32.840 two out of three. 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.240 Right, I believe. And I've told you this before, like 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.800 you epitomize what it means to be a warrior. You 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:41.600 don't have to be a gun slinger. You don't have 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.760 to be a lead slinger and wear a uniform and 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:48.720 do all that. I'm drawn to people that have the 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:53.120 the emotional scars, and I think that's my inner gladiator 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.360 that is drawn to those people. And even in the beginning, 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.760 from when we first met, like it was, even though 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.640 you annoyed the hell out of me, No I didn't. 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.960 You did, but I didn't. 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:08.040 I chose not to see that. 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.640 You chose, you choose to never see it ever from 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:17.800 anyone ever. But to know now what I know. I 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.160 knew it before you told me. I knew there was 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:25.000 a lot more behind behind the eyes. And I feel 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.200 like that's a gift to God thing. But that's what 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.360 I'm drawn to, is I'm not I don't care about 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.960 the cheerleader stuff. And the accolades, like I don't care 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.280 about any of that stuff. Like, You're right, I couldn't 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:44.160 describe what a cheerleader outfit, costume, uniform, okay even down 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:47.320 to the cowboys, right, because it's not what I But 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.640 I'm also very passionate about the game of football. Well, 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.200 let me show you a picture. No, Like, I don't 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:55.360 need to because I'm kidding. Jackson has a picture signed 0:16:55.400 --> 0:17:00.520 by you. I admire your warriorness so much because you 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.080 could have picked a lot of different paths, especially in 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.280 the industries you're in, because it was real easy in 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:10.920 those industries to like it wasn't hard, like you could 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.800 definitely fall in to the same thing that your mother 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:19.000 fell into. It's admirable that you were able to stay 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:20.840 set fast on a certain course. Not to say that 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.600 I'm sure you had horrible things happen after the fact 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.679 that we're out of your control. That to me is 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:30.920 what being a gladiator is all about, fighting against the odds, 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.280 even on the bad days, knowing that you are stronger 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:36.520 than any circumstance. 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.040 It's interesting that even as a child, somehow was I 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:45.119 and other kids you somehow compartmentalize to be able to 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:47.960 push it back, not down where it's going to boil up, 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.040 because I've actually never felt that way. I've accepted what 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.840 happened to me. I compartmentalized it and said this sucks, 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.240 and I either let that bring me down or I 0:17:56.440 --> 0:18:01.240 use it to make me stronger. I was embarrassed about, 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:03.720 you know, being in those situations and being that vulnerable 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:05.760 as a little girl and having a man do that, 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:11.280 but it empowered me. People do bad things. I don't 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:12.000 think God. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.560 Puts bad the hinds the people free will. 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:15.240 It happens. 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:17.640 I was in college and I became a camp counselor 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.880 so that I could share possibly my story with other 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.440 teenage girls who might be battling as well. That God 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.879 could use me to share that story as well. That 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.800 was kind of my own therapy, right, finally telling somebody, 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:31.840 because I didn't tell anybody for a very long time 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:33.159 that those things had happened to me. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:37.119 It's amazing the way that lifts off the soul. It's 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.959 I mean literally, yes, I mean I just said it 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:42.240 a couple of years ago speaking to I was speaking 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.760 like a lot, like thousands and thousands of people, and 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:47.919 it just flew out of my mouth and then I 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.439 went to apologize, but then I was like, no, I 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:52.720 did apologize. I think, oh, you heard it, And then 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.400 but then I was like, no, I take that back. 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.959 I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry about that. Like, just 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:00.879 to be able to say that, and the weight that 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.280 was lifted off was like, goh, man, I wish I'd 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.480 had the strength or courage or permission or whatever. It 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:12.480 is a long time ago to do this, because I 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:17.600 think mentally and emotionally I would be further than where 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:18.240 I am now. 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:22.480 Maybe you weren't emotionally ready to do it back then. 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.080 I look back on it, just like any of us 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:28.120 at the stable could look back on it, and there 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:34.600