WEBVTT - “We Should Hang Out Sometime!” | Making Plans 0:00:01.040 --> 0:00:03.480 I'm an on time Latino. I think only because my 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:06.360 dad was like, and he would talk about it a lot, like, 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:08.000 we're not We're not gonna be one of those Latinos. 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:09.080 We're gonna show up on time. 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:15.080 I am an on time Latino because I had friends, 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:17.480 and I've told you this before, I've had I had 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.439 friends sit me down once at dinner and they were like, 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:22.520 you cannot be fucking late anymore. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:24.000 Oh my godate. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:26.680 It was in New York and I was an hour 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:28.480 late for dinner and they were like, you can't be 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:30.720 late anymore. We're not gonna invite you anywhere anymore. And 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:33.360 I was like, oh shit, oh my god. 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:35.839 Okay. I was like, oh okay, oh. 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:45.960 More more and more, better, better, more, a little bit 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:53.880 more better, more, Welcome to more better a podcast, or 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.280 we stop pretending to have it all together and embrace 0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:59.680 the journey of becoming a little. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:06.280 More every day, or at least trying to. That's most 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.399 of Fumero, and that's Stephanie Beatrice. Welcome back to the show. 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:13.399 Hi guys, what's up? What what have you done lately? That's 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:18.000 a little more better? Oh what's have done? That's a 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.960 little mobid I've been trying to get more better about 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:26.080 walking and like steps, it's really hard, you guys. I know. 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.039 There are days where like it goes really well just 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.200 because I'm like doing shit around the house and I'm 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.520 like on the go and like happened to be on 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:37.920 my feet more. But then like days like today, like 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:41.000 I'm sitting here recording a podcast, or like yesterday, I 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:44.479 was sitting on my couch reading scripts and then I 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.600 was like, okay, let me walk the dog to like 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:50.200 get a walk in, and like write, my step count 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:53.920 was still low, so like it's okay, I know, And 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:55.600 I think that's why I want to say it too, 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.040 because it's like to really get like close to ten 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.120 thousand steps you need to walk for like you need 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:04.680 to take like an hour plus walk every day, and 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:07.080 like body has the time to not everybody has the time, 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.440 or sometimes you want to use that free hour to 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.079 like wait, lift or do a workout and like something else. Yeah, 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:16.480 something else. So I'm trying not to get down on 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:18.320 myself about it, and I don't want anyone else to 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:22.160 get down on their cells about it, yeow, even if 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:25.600 it just like a fifteen minute walk with the dog, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.079 you know, before I go pick up the kids or 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:30.120 right after I pick up the kids. Like I'm like, whatever, 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.000 it's something like it's a little something, just I'm trying 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:37.280 to like lower the the pressure on myself, you know 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:38.960 what I mean, Because I think when I started, I 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.320 was like, it's going to be a forty minute walk 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.640 forty five ye walk every day, and I was like, 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.200 this is really that hard. I can't fit this endto 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.200 the day. So now I'm like, you know what, fifteen 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:54.000 minutes counts. Like you heard like these women's call it. 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:59.080 There was a culty like workout that I was doing 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:00.639 for a while and they would call out your booty 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:02.959 call and you had to take a walk every morning 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:05.960 before you ate anything, and like you had to like 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:08.519 walk around the neighborhood for X amount of minutes or whatever. 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.160 Cool, Dan you you can do that, but like who 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:12.040 lives that life. 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:14.680 I don't get children dressed out the door for this 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.040 is what I'm saying. You have to wake up super 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.560 early to be able to do that, right, And then I. 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:21.800 Had fifteen minutes in the morning to sit and drink 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:27.160 coffee before I'm fucking or or like if I want 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.160 more time, we're waking up at six am. Like we're 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.200 waking up at six thirty, and I take fifteen or 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.600 twenty minutes to sit down and want like drink coffee 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.200 and like check my email, and then it's like off 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:42.440 to the fucking races, races, snacks, lunch, water bottles, hoodies, 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:47.800 chromebook in your backpack, it's a movie. Fucking brush your teeth, 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:52.080 you know. Yeah, stop playing with the Rubik's cube, get dressed, 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.160 like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's hectic. Man. 0:03:55.320 --> 0:04:03.760 Liked adding onto that internalized pressure to you know, get 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:05.800 to some number every day. 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:06.800 I don't know. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.960 If it serves you, that's great. But if it's like, hey, 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:12.040 I'm aware of this and I'm not not. 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:15.720 And I'm being kind to myself about it, that's a 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.799 I'm trying to be more better. I'm kind to myself 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:21.400 about that. Yeah, that's great. How about you? What are 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:25.000 you doing lately? Bitch? I steamed all my shirts. Oh 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:29.360 my god, that is such a big one. 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:30.160 Girl. 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.320 I bought one of those. Okay, have you ever seen like. 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:36.560 On TV if you're watching a show where like they're 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.159 getting styling or whatever, and they have those giant steamers 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:41.400 with like the big stand and the yeah, the like 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.400 I've bought myself one of those as a present. I 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.200 bought myself a motherfucking steamer as a gift to myself. 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:51.200 I was like, fucking by this fancy steamer, and does 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.520 that ship work in good? Oh my god, you can 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:54.919 I burn. I did burn my hand. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:56.000 I'm learning. 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:00.200 You can hang the clothes on the steamer, like you 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.320 can get a shirt on the steamer, and like I 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:06.520 just listened to a podcast and steams like thirty shirts. 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.280 I was like, I'm in heaven. I can wear any 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:10.000 you know. 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:12.920 Like I do this thing where I wash my clothes, 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:14.920 I dry them. A lot of my clothes are hanging 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:17.200 dry because I wear a lot of vintage and they're 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.320 in the closet and they're all wrinkles. So then when 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:21.560 I go to get dressed, I'm wearing the same fucking 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:23.719 five shirts because everything is wrinkled. 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:28.520 So I fucking see my shit. Yes, yes, Or it's 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.400 like the most frustrating thing is like you're running a 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:33.800 little late and you're trying to get dressed quickly and 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.080 you have an outfit idea in your mind and you 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.320 go to grab it and it's fucking wrinkled, and you're 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.680 like shit, and then you're trying to do the math 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.800 of like do I have enough time? And like I 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:47.240 have a pretty good handheld steamer, but like that shit 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:51.039 takes a long time, like it doesn't always do the job. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.520 But I mean you talking about like getting the for 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:55.680 real steamer. I'm like literally looking around the room, like 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.480 do I have room? Could I get one? Yes? 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:00.640 You do. It's life changing and it has a roller 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.240 like it's on wheels. I wield it from my eyes, 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.920 stick it in my office in the corner, and I 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.400 wheeled it into my closet and I listened to a 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.200 podcast for thirty minutes and I got through so many shirts. 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:15.200 I was like shocked, And now I can wear them all. Oh, 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:18.040 I know you can wear them because that's my more better. 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:23.760 They're seeing they're crispy. They're crispy bitches. That's a good one. 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:30.040 More better. What are we talking about today, Melissa? We 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:35.920 are talking about getting more better at making plans? My fave. 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:39.200 I love making plans. You I love making plans. 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:43.279 Tell me I miss I do miss the spontaneity of 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.960 you know, in New York, I feel like you're always 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:49.520 running into people and that was something fun that would happen, 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:51.640 like because you're on that little island or even in 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:56.599 Brooklyn or Queens, you see people here. It's less likely 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.640 unless you start community building in your own community in 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:03.719 LA and then you run into people and that's fun. Yes, 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:08.120 but I love meet me at X for lunch at 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:12.320 one point thirty on Tuesday the twenty seventh, Delicious put 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:13.160 it in my calendar. 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:14.360 I love it. 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.960 Now I will over book myself and that's something that 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:22.240 I'm working on as a person. 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:27.320 Yes, but I love making plans. I love it. I 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:29.360 already told you when my Christmas party was, I was like, 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:34.000 save the day you did. I was so impressed. I 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:37.040 think for me, I am the opposite. I don't mind 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:41.760 making plans. But I think one being in this job 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:44.480 where it's so hard to like plan ahead, you know, 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.960 like people like you know, like you, I mean, yours 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.320 is different because it's December and we almost always know that, 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.840 like we're probably not going to be working close to Christmas, right, 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.800 but like people will be like, I'm having a party 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.960 in three months, and I'm like, I if I'm here, yes, 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.480 I'll be there. Like it's hard to commit to things. 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.360 So I think that's just like deeply ingrained in me, 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:11.280 and I get like nervousness around plans. And then the 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.200 other part is, like you said, living in New York 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.560 for so long, we never made fucking plans like we 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:22.000 occasionally did. But even those bigger plans, like we're all 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.000 like everybody meet at our police and we're going to 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:25.960 go to dinner and then we're gonna like we got 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:27.720 a reservation and we're gonna go to the club. After 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:31.160 that was still like week of plans. And most of 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.840 the time our plans were just like, oh, let's walk 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.280 to this restaurant and like see if so and so 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.640 is around, or somebody calling you and being like I'm 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.199 in your neighborhood. Can I stop by? Like our friends 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:45.520 used to stop by our apartment all the time, and 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.560 I just hold hold on and back up to like 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:52.360 that we're going to go to the club. Then we're 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:54.080 gonna tell you about like when we were I would 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.240 like live in New York in my twenties. My god, 0:08:56.280 --> 0:09:01.160 the clur but cre those were like those were nights. 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.400 Well I brought that up because those were nights, those 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.040 were a special night. We didn't go to the club 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.839 all the time, so when we did do a club night, 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:09.600 and it was usually with a group of people. It 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:14.240 was a little bit more planned because also my bougie 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.800 husband hates waiting online, so we only went to clubs 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:18.440 that we knew we could get right in. So it 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:22.240 was like those working this weekend or so and so 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:26.920 knows the bouncer or whatever, and yeah, yeah, so uh 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:32.280 those husband also hates waiting online. He hates it, hates 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.679 it in line, in line. 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:37.680 For those of you that didn't spend any time in 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.280 New York. Ever, for some reason, New Yorkers say waiting 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:41.600 online instead of inline. 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:44.439 Oh, I don't know why is that a New York thing. 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.160 I think it's a New York thing. Yeah, I'm waiting online. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.960 Like you would never say, like, oh, you in the Midwestern, 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:51.840 not like I'm waiting in line. You're like, I'm waiting 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.240 in line at Starbucks. No, I'm waiting online at Starbucks. 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.680 Waiting online. Yeah yeah, yeah, I guess not a Starbucks ad. 0:09:57.679 --> 0:09:59.920 But Starbucks talk to us if you want to sponsor us. 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.680 So yeah. So then moving to LA I felt like 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:10.520 it was a big transition for us, like and having 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:13.959 the realization of, like, oh, if we want to have 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:17.079 more of a social life, we need to make some plans, 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.480 like if we want to see our friends, we need 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:21.360 to put it in the books, and you have to 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.120 put it in the calendar. You have to you have 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:27.280 to put it in the calendar. And it's uh, it's 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:35.280 not always like my go to I also like I 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:40.400 will also have the tendency to overbook myself sometimes and 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:43.200 then you know, there's no worse feeling than like it's 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.280 the day of the thing and you're like, I'm fucking 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.000 exhausted and now I have to like muster up the 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:50.240 energy to go to this thing. 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:51.360 Mm hmm. 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.200 And but sometimes like you do just have to show up, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.400 like depending on what it is, right, because you want 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.840 to be a good friend, or you're supporting someone or 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:08.200 you're supporting your unity. When it's not that, when it's 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.120 like a dinner and you're like I can't today, I'm like, 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:17.520 I'm so sorry. Sometimes that's okay. 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:22.160 I do think that showing up for plans with friends, 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.800 for example, I mean we're specifically really kind of talking 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:26.240 about like. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:28.680 Socializing, right, Like I think right. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:34.560 Social plans are very important to me because if I 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.880 don't plan it, I don't have friends. And that's something 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.640 that like, I'm not good at texting. 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:40.400 I'm not. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.400 I'm not on social media like all the time because 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:44.520 I took it off my phone. 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:45.760 I'll be back on, I'm sure. 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:49.679 Guys like I don't message over Instagram, and I think 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:51.760 that's how a lot of people message lately, and so 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.520 like if I don't reach out and try to figure 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:57.400 something out, we're never gonna see each other, you know 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:02.439 what I mean. So, like it's important, Like we have 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.640 a small group of friends, you and I who like 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:08.800 we plan a dinner and that dinner is prioritized and 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.959 it's usually every four or five months, but we prioritize 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.320 that dinner because otherwise we won't see those people. 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:20.920 And yeah, it's important, you know. Yeah, I agree, I agree, 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:25.439 it's true. I'm also not. I mean, I guess I 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.000 am a text I try. I have a lot of 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.480 long distance close friends, so we do try to schedule 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:35.880 like phone calls because otherwise, like it's too much time 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:37.920 and then you're like don't know what's going on with 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:40.959 the person, and oh my god, yeah, and it's like 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:43.960 like it makes me really sad, like and I only 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:48.280 you know, that's only like four people, like four people 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:53.040 really that I have that with But yeah, you're right, Like, 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.280 if I don't make friend plans or social plans, like 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.960 I won't see anyone. I think because of the name 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.160 Ture of La too, and the way the city is 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.880 and it's not a walking city, and it's everything is 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:08.640 so spread out, and like, yeah, I'll only see like 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:13.400 the few neighbors that I'm friends with, right Like, but that. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.719 Friends, Like, that's a lot of places, right Like, that's 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:19.520 a lot. A lot of cities in the United States 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.600 are built like their car cities. There are a few 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.319 cities that are walking cities, but a lot of cities 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.400 and neighborhoods and suburbs are built so that you have 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.960 to get in your car to go places. And I think, 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:37.440 I think practicing making plans is you know, my my 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:38.320 social calendar. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:39.720 I mean, I'm not going to show you my phone 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.280 because it's over there and I don't want to get up. 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.719 But on my calendar, like everything's color coded and this 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.160 stuff that's like for fun, I color code in a 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.560 certain color so that when I open the calendar and 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.240 I can look at it and I'm like, oh, okay, 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.120 there's fun stuff coming up for me. Oh that's a 0:13:55.120 --> 0:14:01.040 good idea. But everything is blocked off. And not everything. 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.559 I'm not cuckoo boots. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:08.600 But I blocked stuff off because if I don't like 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:12.840 and now I'm talking about work stuff too, like I've 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:17.439 had I've had double bookings in the past where I 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:21.640 booked myself for this thing, and then I also had like, 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.040 for example. 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.680 Oh my gosh, I just got like small level of 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.520 panic as you yes, at. 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:31.480 I did two jobs, Like I double booked two jobs. 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.560 One time I missed a job. This was before I 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:39.040 was like using my Google calendar. I was like so 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:42.600 devastated and mad at myself, so mad at myself, and 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.960 then I realized I just needed to start, even if 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.240 I didn't have like the time yet, Like when I 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.640 got the email that was like it's probably going to 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.200 be on this day roughly this time, I would block 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:56.600 that off immediately in my calendar. Yes, because and I 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.760 did this, you know, this is something that I still 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:00.320 have to work on. 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:02.040 I did this the other day. Remember we were on 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.680 the phone and I was like, I audition right now. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:10.480 It sucked and it was for a project that I 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:14.160 really wanted to and like they were texting me, I 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:15.800 was on the phone with you and they were texting 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:17.880 me like, hey, where are you, Like you're supposed to 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.320 be here, and I just didn't read the email closely 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:23.720 close read your emails, guys. 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.640 Like I just had the wrong time. I had the 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:27.760 wrong time. It was at like noon and you thought 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.280 it was at one. 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:32.160 I just like it was so And then I you know, 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.560 jumped on the audition and I was like, fuck it, 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.600 I'm just gonna do it with no makeup and whatever. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:42.080 And it was fine. I haven't heard anything, but like 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.800 so you know, probably it's gonna be a no. 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:48.440 But I mean I think stuff like that is just 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:52.800 a good I mean, that's side note. That's personal growth 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.720 for me because five years ago, even three years ago, 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.440 I would have been beating myself up for that so bad. 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:00.320 And I'm like, you're so stupid, so. 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.160 Dumb, fucked up, like I had like this job or. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.560 Whatever, and it's like, you know what, this happens, and 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.440 it happens. Yeah, it really did suck. 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:14.240 It sucks. It's also like, you know, when you're in 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.520 more of a career that's freelance based like ours, where 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.680 you're in different places for different times, for different things 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.400 all the time, and you have kids and you have 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:28.320 a spouse and you have friends. Like I say, my 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.920 calendar is color coded, although I really like the idea 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:33.640 of having a color for fun stuff and I think 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.120 I'm going to start doing that. But we started doing 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.640 a family calendar a couple of years ago, and it 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:43.280 was life changing for us because we all, like David's 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.320 also an actor, and so like we put everything in 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:52.520 the calendar. Doctor's appointments, when we're working, how long we're working. 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.040 You know, he's about to do an episode of the Pit. 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.120 So he was taking a long time to put his 0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:58.840 days into this. And I was like, put it in 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:00.720 the calendar. Put in the calendar. Yeah, I need your 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:02.800 days on the calendar. Yeah, put it in the calendar. 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:04.399 You gotta put it in. And I found a conflict 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:06.720 like right away, and I was like shit, and you 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:09.400 have the school calendars in there. That was what I found. 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.600 I was like, shit, this is a noon dismissal day, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.600 damn it. Yeah. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:17.800 Yeah, but it's important, and it's like, you know, even 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.000 just by us talking about this right now, I'm hopeful 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.200 that somebody is listening to this going like oh shit, 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:23.919 like maybe we could use a family calendar. 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.239 Maybe we could like a family calend Everything on our 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:30.320 phones a huge huge if you're a family and you're 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:34.720 not using a family calendar, like it's huge. It's like, yeah, 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:38.480 it's huge, it's huge. It's a big, big change. I like, 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.760 we we were getting like like annoyed with each other 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.640 so many times for like not knowing, well I didn't 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:45.960 know that you had that, you know what I mean. 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.640 And I was like, like, just every literally everything goes 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.159 in the calendar. Yeah, lunch with someone goes in the 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:56.280 family calendar, like so like everything, yes, because like and 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:57.080 here's the other thing. 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.600 After that audition, after that audition that I fucked up 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.840 the timing, I invited my agent's assistance to my calendar 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.320 because I was like, that's smart. I don't need you 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.880 guys to put things in here. But if I if 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:12.240 you see that I have something, if you know that 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.200 I've got an audition coming up, and you see it, conflict, 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:17.720 just double check me. That's all Like more eyes on it. 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.720 I'm not expecting them to catch all my mistakes, but right, 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:24.200 more eyes on it couldn't hurt, right, And now they 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:25.879 also get a little peek into when. 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:40.760 I take bloodies more better, more better. 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.480 I think one of My least favorite things is the 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.680 generalized sort of like, oh, we should hang out, which 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.520 happens so often in LA and like. 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.200 Like the accepted tagline to the end of any conversations 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:57.359 hang out, let's get coffee. 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.360 Don't say that that shit to me unless you are 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:04.480 fucking serious, because I yes like people. 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:06.080 I want to make new friends. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.240 So like, if you say that shit to me, I'm 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:12.000 gonna follow up, and then I look like the dumb ass. 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.600 It's like, hey, what's up? You know, Like, yeah, I 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:16.639 don't say that shit to me. 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:22.120 I truly. Okay, I have a question for you. If 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:26.800 you are the winning to say it, do you also 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.040 think you should be the one to initiate it? 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:37.920 Not necessarily okay, because I think the saying let's hang out, 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:42.480 let's hang out, let's get coffee, is an invitation to 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:44.679 the other person to be like I would like to 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:49.040 do that. Oh, so you feel like if you say it, 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:51.560 it's more on the other person to initiate it. 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:56.840 Yes, the invitation has been given. Yeah, that's interesting. I 0:19:56.960 --> 0:19:57.880 kind of like that. 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:02.520 If I want to get like real, like you need 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.159 to be more fruit, then I will straight up be 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.119 like I would love to get coffee with you. Do 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:10.680 you do you want to let me text you right now? 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:13.399 And blah blah blah blah blah. Right, you know, like 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.679 if I'm aggressive about it, I will be aggressive about it. 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:20.080 The problem is for me that. 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:24.440 Aggressiveness sometimes reads as a little bit needy, and then 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:26.160 people who were like. 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:29.639 Ooh, I like you like you, cannot picture you giving 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:34.080 off any needy vibes at all. I feel like I've 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.119 never seen that color on you, and I don't know, 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:39.920 I know I'm saying it like maybe it's your own 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:44.439 insecurity about yourself. I don't know, I just really maybe. 0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:47.520 I mean, here's the thing, I have your social situation 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:50.040 confident that I feel like I've been in social situations 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:53.160 where I'm like, from you, I'm like, let's hang out, 0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:57.040 let's hang out, you know, give me your number and 0:20:57.080 --> 0:20:58.960 I'll text you. And I text people and then I 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:01.880 never hear from them, And yeah, what did I do? 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:04.520