WEBVTT - #GirlDad 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:07.680 Welcome to the NFL Legends Podcast, an NFL podcast for 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:13.039 the players, by the players. Here is your host, fourteen 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:23.280 year NFL veteran and Hall of Famer Anius Williams. Hello, 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.680 Welcome to the NFL Legends Podcast. I am Anius Williams. 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:31.840 Today we're talking about fatherhood, but not just fatherhood. We're 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:39.000 talking about fatherhood raising daddy's little girls. More specifically, as 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:44.800 we would call Gridiron, dad's two girls. Big strong NFL players, 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:50.000 raising young ladies. And I have the pleasure of introducing 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.240 to my friends and to legends who have been serving 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:57.080 legends throughout probably the past four or five years, and 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:00.760 that's Lennard Wheeler and Mike Rutger. So as we get 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:03.280 into this podcast, the first thing I ask you, guys, 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.640 what's the first thing that got your attention? What you're 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:13.760 let's go with your first daughter, Mike, I think, um, 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.760 I agree when when you're saying, like, you know, you're 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.360 a guy and playing sports, like you just want this boy. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.200 You want to make sure you have a boy. And 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.199 first it's always like I want I want my kids 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:25.240 to be healthy, and then I want that boy, you know, 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:28.800 carrying the name and so forth. In the family, and 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:31.920 so we didn't find out what we were having. So 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.560 when we go into the to the emergency room and 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:39.240 we have and our daughter and she comes out first, 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:45.119 you just excited. So you and your wife decided we 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:48.440 are not going to find out. No, we're not gonna 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.200 find out. So the whole time, did y'all have any inklings? 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:54.760 Like I had none? None? You know you have all 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.960 you know, where's your belly at this and that? But 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.200 at the end of the day, like when when when 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:02.000 your first kid, there's a lot of emotions going on. 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:04.480 So when you have your first kid, you know, you 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:07.600 count your toes, everybody healthy, yes, and then it's just 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.440 like you just look at your your girl like this 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:15.640 is my girl and um, and in my mind it 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:19.200 was like this was my girl, it's my boy. It's 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:21.760 all wrapped in one. And that's the way our relationship 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:25.240 UM has been, and that's the way it started. It 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.960 was just rough. She's rough, she's tough. UM. When I 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.640 go through the injuries that she's had, and we just 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.600 talked about this a couple of weeks ago. The stitches 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:36.920 and and the broken arms and all those kind of 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:42.280 things that that fits her personality, that fits her being 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.000 the first child, she was rough and tough. If she 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.760 could have played football, she would have played football. Um 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.160 built like my mom, built like my grandma. We're we're 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.920 a family of women, and so it was just fitting 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.720 for for us to have, you know, a girl right 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:59.799 out the back. And literally we've talked about your daughter. 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:03.160 Can she out run you? Yet she cannot. I told 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:05.280 her that she'll probably be able to run me when 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:10.280 I'm around seventies seventy, not even close right now. Well, 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.320 I'm not gonna say, hold on, you didn't ask was 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:17.680 it close? And it really depends on the distance, because 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:19.840 that's what I was gonna ask you. It depends on 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:24.880 the distance the four hundred. No, she cannot run. No, 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:27.600 she would not be even if I had a poor hamstring, 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:29.920 I would crawl through the finish. Life got you. So 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:34.200 you still have that, dad, I still have that down 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:38.880 like this game on, let's go. So your first moment, Yeah, 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.560 what your daughter? What being that gridiron dead? What was it? 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:45.920 That moment? Like probably my first moment when she was 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.119 in the hospital, she took her breath before she came 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.920 out of the womb, and so they had to kind 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:53.800 of rush her out. So that they can suck it 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.880 out of her nose. So I noticed that that initially 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:02.680 she was going to be impatient. I mean she was 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.320 ready to do She was ready to come into the 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.400 world before she was ready to come into the world. 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:08.720 And so when she came into the world and she 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:12.080 took that first breath, it really she really captured my 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.240 heart right there, because at that time, you don't want 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.720 anything to happen to your kids. And so at that point, 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.000 just the just the compassion and the love that I 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:25.640 saw in her eyes, I was like, I'm done. That 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:29.520 was my baby all day. There's a question, did you 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:34.719 guys cry? I don't think I did. Know. I was 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:38.640 feeling too much to cry. I was feeling everything. Is 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:43.320 this the meal answer? Or or am I getting hold on? Now? 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.520 You're asking when you but I okay? Are you saying 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:49.640 did we cry when we first saw them? When you 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:52.760 first saw your daughter? No, I didn't cry when I 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:56.320 first saw But did I have did she have my 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:00.479 heart string? Would you describe that since there were no 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:04.160 tears evident? What what does that mean? Your heart strength? 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.599 That there was nothing that I would not do to 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:13.760 protect her? In my head because I looked at it 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.360 almost as the father looks at me to say, I'm 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:22.560 responsible for you. And so that sense of belonging to 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:28.480 this world literally just just catapulted me to a different 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:33.360 level of responsibility as a man to say I will 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.680 do everything I have to do to make sure that 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:42.640 you are okay. Wow, Mike, I didn't cry. Um, thinking 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:46.120 about it, now, I didn't. You didn't, not. I didn't 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:49.560 because she was upside down and so they had to 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.680 use an instrument to to pull her out. And so 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.520 I remember when she came out, she had, uh, it's 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:58.120 kind of a suction cup and so she had a 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:02.279 cone head. And all I can think of was is 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:06.279 that gonna stay like that? You know? And so that's 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:08.880 where my mind kind of was at. But then once 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.559 they said absolutely not, it will go down, just because 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:14.560 of the suction cup that they had to use. Um, 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:18.720 so I think that initial emotional peace was different than 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:23.800 than you know, the crying peace other but um, but 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:28.520 I'm hearing two strong football guys. You were sounding like 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:32.280 you were in the room. Oh yeah, like all into it. 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:33.880 Like I was used to be a time where a 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:35.560 man told me, don't tell me about the paint. You 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.919 just delivered the baby no, no, no, I wanted. I 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:44.520 wanted to deliver the baby actually, but they wouldn't allow me. No. 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:46.440 I was in it. I was in it all day 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.599 to win it. I wanted everything to do with it. Now, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:54.360 Mike Lenna mentioned one daughter. So I'm asking you, because 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.800 you have a daughters and son. Learning mention his daughter 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.960 got his heart string. You use it on here that 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.520 when a boy is born, right, how would you describe that? 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:09.240 So between the daughters and your son being lawn again, 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.320 you know, then I was like, okay, um, you know 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.120 we've got one of each, and so my boy, it 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:18.440 was totally different. Right. So, um, this story behind that 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:22.520 is we're a young organization with the Carolina Panthers, and 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.600 we have just made the playoffs and we have a 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:28.360 home playoff game against the Dallas Cowboys, and we knew 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:29.960 that we would be on the road if we would 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:31.960 go to the Super Bowl year, we'd be on the road. 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:34.080 And so she wasn't due for another two weeks. So 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.480 we had to make a decision to go into the 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:41.080 hospital to have the child, induce, induce or go and 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:43.000 and risk me being on the road somewhere. And this 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:46.480 going on, and you can already imagine the tussles of 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:48.720 emotions that you have to do there. So we beat 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:51.280 the Dallas Cowboys. Maybe six eight hours later, we're in 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.920 the hospital and we induced in and we had our boy. 0:07:55.120 --> 0:08:00.120 So again, the emotions were totally different because you you 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:02.680 just laid it out on the field less than like, 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.160 you know, twelve hours ago, you know, on TV playing 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:08.280 the football game, and here you are totally different emotions 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.160 of having your second child and finds out you know, 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:16.040 it was a boy, and so um, so some two 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.880 different emotions. But then again I was just happy because 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.720 now I had, you know, a girl, and then I 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:24.280 had a boy and he was a big boy. So 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.960 I always felt like you know, um, you know, we 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.360 were checked the boxes there of having one of each. 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:33.319 How did you handle the difficulties you mentioned your daughter 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:40.079 ingesting oxygen immeatly in the wombs right then your daughter 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:44.920 being flipped? Yeah, how did you handle that? Because we 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.440 try to handle things as athletes, right, how did you 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.440 handle that? There are so many different emotions that goes 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:56.160 through your mind. Tell us about the no. But seriously though, okay, 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:59.240 so one of the things I don't know how other 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.640 cultures do, but African American culture, we have a thing 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:04.480 that where look at the color of the ears that 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:07.200 will tell you how dr baby is gonna be. Yes, 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:11.480 I've never heard that I'm gonna I'm gonna check your 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:16.080 car later, but anyway, so so so we always have 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:17.880 a thing to say, look at the baby's ears, and 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:19.679 that will tell you how doc they're gonna be right 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:21.800 and so so when she was born, I was like, okay, 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.280 let me look at the ears and you're serious. No, 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:27.120 I am not kidding. So all of these things come 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.280 to your mind because growing up in different cultures you 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:36.040 learn different different things whatever, those different beliefs, et cetera, 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:39.440 and so and so when Lindsey took her first breath 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.640 before she came out, it kind of shifted me because 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:44.760 I had a mindset of things that I wanted to 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:48.400 kind of check off. So when she took her breath, 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.280 I was like, okay, okay, now they have to take 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.000 care of my baby. So they had to get her 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.040 out of there, take her over into another room, you know, 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.640 suction her nose and the whole deal. So it just 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:02.600 just like Mike said, those emotions continues to just follow 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.520 your baby and you just want them to be okay. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:10.400 Being in all of male dominated culture football, right, what's 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:15.840 been your biggest challenge raising a girl? I'll tell you 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:21.160 one I realized just recently. My youngest daughter and three girls, 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.600 and we're all at the table for dinner, and so 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.520 we're typically going around the table and everybody say, how 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:31.600 is their date? What's happening? Or my youngest daughter she 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:36.840 tells she tells a story, but she wants every detail, 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:42.560 like and they could take her half an hour. I'm like, sweethearts, 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:48.960 you got to speed it up, so everybody else, But 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.920 it just like having that patience to know how important 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:59.240 it is for her to express like the details versus 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:02.000 like we get out assignments like hey, let's go, let's go. 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:06.800 Are are you finding yourself? You patiently listening outside? But 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:08.640 then we're like, can we get the show in the 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:10.880 row or something like that. So what was your what's 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.840 been your challenge? I think for me is that she's 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:16.840 like me, so she thinks like me, she acts like me, 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.880 And it hasn't been uh, it's been up to like 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:24.559 I would say, in the last probably six months that 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.040 we've kind of found a way to communicate because it's 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.920 almost like I'm communicating with myself, and so whether it's 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.240 the way that we're going to start a conversation or 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.360 how we're going to debate. She knows my techniques and 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:40.800 I know her techniques, So it's kind of like battling myself. 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:45.000 So you you like the Will Smith movie, what just 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:51.160 kind of came out somewhere like that the female side. 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.560 So just in the last day six months, she's a 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.000 senior in high school. Um, she knows where she's going 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:57.960 to college. So we've done all that. We're kind of 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:00.760 in that phase of, you know, how do we start 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.480 to communicate as adults, you know, as she works and 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.880 has jobs and stuff like that, and so we found 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.600 a good space to where I need to just be 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:11.320 able to listen, you know, so many times as a dad, 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.680 like I'm trying to prepare her for this big world, 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.240 and there's things that she's already learned along the way 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.079 that I just need to listen more and not and 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:25.760 talk less. And I think that's helped our communication because, um, 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.320 I'm not battling myself in the mirror now, I'm listening 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.880 almost to myself and having a conversation with my daughter 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:37.040 and knowing that she is the one that observes. So 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:38.880 she she's one that might not talk a lot, but 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:42.160 she observes, and so she's learning through that. And so 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:46.280 for me, I needed to realize, like, she's she's good, 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:50.120 she's ready, and I don't need to talk so much. 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:53.000 But now it's time to listen and enjoy this this 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.200 time um of of before she gets out of the 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.920 house and starts her own journey. So I would say 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.080 that's been in the last six months of our evolution. 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.199 Has anything happened when Lindsay has surprised you? An example 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:10.240 what I mean but that my second daughter, who a 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:16.200 little more antsy, anxious, and I would wonder, man, when 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:19.040 she starts to drive or something like that. Well, she's 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.280 been one of the best drivers in a family, right, 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:25.080 so she kind of surprised me how well she drove 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.079 and did she went away to college and how well 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:32.959 she did away because I was wondering how she would do, 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:37.160 how she would have adapted. Anything Lindsay has surprised you, 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:39.720 Maybe she has really surprised me in a lot of 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.760 different ways. I started dating my daughter when she was 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:47.280 two years old. Alright, explain that, well, and there's what 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:53.320 fun do you want? You will come back to one 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.400 of the one of the reasons I started dating my 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:58.800 daughter is that. So when Lindsay was born, I said, 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:00.600 I want to be a better dad that my dad 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:04.160 was to my sisters. Okay, I grew up with two sisters, 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.559 to biological sisters and a half sister, And I said, 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:10.440 how do I become a better dad that my dad was? 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:13.640 Seriously like, that was my focus. I said, I want 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:17.319 to make sure that she understands that when she looks 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:21.120 at me, I'm the first man that she dates. I 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.880 am the first man that my daughter days, You're the standard. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.880 I'm the standard. And so how do I want her 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:31.920 to continue to evaluate and to assess her relationships moving forward. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:34.760 I'm gonna have to set the pace for that. And 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.760 so I remember I started dating her when she was little, 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:41.280 and then she started wanting clothes for our days. She's like, well, 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.960 I'm gonna have to wear this for for my day 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:46.600 with dad. And so we would go out and we 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.120 would go to our movies and and we would have 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.240 instances where I'll have her head done and then we 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.080 get to the place and she's back there with her 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:56.280 hair all up in her hand, and I'm like, Lindsey 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:57.960 what are you doing? We get ready go into the 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:01.320 restaurant and so, you know, so who set the presidents. 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:06.200 They just set the stage and her expectations for being 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:10.280 in relationships to me, and so that was very important. 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.440 I started doing it when she was almost two years old. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.480 The surprise and he's surprised. You know what the surprise 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.640 was About three months ago she was asked to go 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:24.800 to Paris to model for social media. And you know, 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:29.240 she's an influencer on on social media and and how 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:33.080 many followers she has almost she has almost six hundred 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:37.880 thousand followers. Yeah, so she has almost six hundred thousand followers. 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:40.800 She was asked to go to Paris, and she was like, damn, 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.320 I'm so excited. And I'm thinking like, okay, I have 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:47.360 some secret servicemen that I know. I'm gonna have them 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:50.200 watch her get off the plane and then I'm gonna 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:54.320 have to track your phone. And man, she handled it 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:58.480 like a pro and and I just had to I 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.440 had to sit back and I think, inc it's almost 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.600 like the word says, raised a kid up the way 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.360 they should go. If they go away from there, come back, 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:08.960 I think, what what we have to do? It like 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.520 Mike is saying, we have to trust what we put 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:17.400 in we and we have to also trust that the 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:21.960 father isn't more controlled than we are. Sometimes we think 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:25.160 we're really in control, and the fathers like, oh no, 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.640 you're not right, and he has them. So that was 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.880 just so she handled it like a pro. That's good. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:38.600 Both of you guys have athletes. So, Mike, what trade 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:44.600 does your daughter have in her athletic lane similar to yours. 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:48.520 I think it's um wanting to win and in the 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:52.400 part of being a perfectionist at the craft that we've 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.120 done so UM for a number of years she played 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:59.200 volleyball UM, and just her the way that she attacked it, 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:02.240 the way that she would bring other people along with her, 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:06.760 UM is something that I would see in myself. And uh, 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.639 you know, we had conversations. I think UM as a father, 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.920 you know, sometimes we try to UM imprint them with 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.800 us and our DNA. They have our DNA, but like 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:21.280 our fingerprint on them. And so I I as a father, 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.440 had to learn also that she might do it differently, 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.720 or she might do this differently. And the thing about 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:31.359 being athletic UM was that she had some of the abilities, 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.679 but there there came a point to where she was like, 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.119 I don't want to do this anymore, right, And she 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.400 had her career path. She knew what she wanted to do, 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.600 she knew what she wanted to to grow up and 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:45.440 go off to do, and so some of the athletics 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.240 was kind of interferen And so as a father of 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:51.800 growing up and playing multiple sports, I had to come 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:54.800 to grips with that that that's okay and and that 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:56.840 I needed to do that. How did you come to 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.800 grips to it? I think I think it's inside. It 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:03.320 was like, at the end of the day, she's healthy. 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:06.680 And if if a kid can tell you what they 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.760 want to do, I think as a parent, that's half 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:11.560 the battle. So then that allows me to support them 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.359 whatever they want to do, versus trying to force feed them. 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.240 And hey, I was a baseball player. My kid needs 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.919 to go to college and play baseball. Um, it was 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.159 supporting her and what she wanted to do, just like 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.240 I wanted to do what she wanted to do, Just 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.880 like there was somebody out there to supporting me when 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.439 I wanted to play football and invested in me. And 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.200 so that's when the switch turn and said look and 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.880 she knows what she wants to do, she knows where 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:35.879 she wants to go to school. How can now I 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:39.959 use my resources to help her in her endeavor and 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:45.840 not be my endeavor? How did you handled Lindsey heaven 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:51.720 over six d thousand followers, most famous than you? You 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:58.439 know what? I actually love it, right? Um? I celebrate 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.719 her as much as I can. Um. You know, I 0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:07.479 am a disciplinarian by nature, but I just I love it. 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:11.240 I support her and everything that she's ever done. And 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.920 at the end of the day, just like what Mike 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.360 is saying, we want to make sure and I've met 0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:18.840 your daughters, you know, we want to make sure that 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:20.760 at the end of the day that they feel supported, 0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.800 that they feel heard, and that they feel valued, and 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:28.440 that they understand their worth. Like we it is our 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:31.520 job sometimes to make them feel that they have worth 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:34.080 in this world. And I think at the end of 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.480 the day, we just have to continue to celebrate where 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:40.399 they are. How did you guys coach your daughters or 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:45.280 did you coach your daughters? Um? So, just like you, So, 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.320 Lindsey wanted to cheer in the fifth grade, and so 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:49.639 she said, hey, Dad, I want to go out for 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:54.040 children out like no, not chilling, but in my hand 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:58.439 this sound effects did you well you like like that 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:03.040 inside right? I learned so but but so so so 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.560 she didn't know how to do real cart wheels and nothing. 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:08.840 So I remember literally we did cart wheels every night. 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.240 We did cart wheels every night. I had her jumping 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.080 off both suit balls to do splits in there. The 0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:18.040 whole thing. I just just like what you said. We 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:21.040 had to coach our daughters and the same thing went 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:25.320 all the way through college. Man, all the way through college. Well, 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.080 the oldest one she played volleyball, so the wife did that, 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.320 so there were some coaching techniques there. She played basketball, 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.960 so I you know, coached there. My youngest one, uh 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:38.800 did cross country and so neither one of us had 0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:41.040 done cross country, so it was new to both of us, 0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:44.560 which was actually good because we couldn't tell her what 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.159 to do, and so she learned on her own in 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:51.120 a good way with our support. But um, and now 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:53.679 she jumped in the chair again. Neither one of us 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.600 exposed to that. So this has been new to all 0:20:56.640 --> 0:21:00.119 of us. Were in some new chartered territory because like 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:04.160 Leonard said, with the cheers, like it could be weight 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.520 all day and they go and right there for like 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:08.679 a minute thirty seconds. And we're down in Atlanta and 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:10.879 we just spent the whole weekend for a minute thirty seconds. 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:15.360 So there's some adjustments going on with us, but again 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:18.639 she loves it. So we're there in some capacity to 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:21.640 support her. And there's I have a story, so lindsay, Okay, 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:24.719 So Lindsey went to Georgia chech to run track when 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:27.720 I'm trying scholarship the whole thing. Her first track meet 0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:30.680 was at Vanderbilt, and she didn't know I was gonna come. 0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:34.400 So I surprised her and drove the Vanderbilt from Charlotte. 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.439 So I'm sitting. So I'm sitting in the stands and 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:40.000 I'm looking at her, and she caused my phone. I'm like, 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:42.760 what is she doing? She caused my phone. She's over 0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:47.199 in the corner. She goes, hey, Dad, Now she has 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:50.200 no idea. I'm looking at that. You're there, right, What 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:54.080 should I do to warm up? Now? I've been training 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:57.919 her my whole life. She already has been training with 0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:05.600 the coaches, but she trusting my training initially, and I said, hey, baby, 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:09.879 you have to trust your coaching. I didn't tell I 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:12.040 told you have to trust your coaching, And I said, 0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:14.520 by the way, I mean the stands looking at you 0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:18.040 in the corner. And she started laughing, and so I 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:21.480 had to release her. I had to release her from 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:24.960 me at that moment where you have to trust your coaching, 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.000 like they know what you're doing. Final question for legends 0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:34.560 that don't have girls, what did What do you wish 0:22:34.880 --> 0:22:42.720 they could experience? Letter understanding the importance of the emotional 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:47.679 awareness that needs to exist with happening a daughter. The 0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:56.720 emotional emotional awareness, the emotional engagement exactly of what he 0:22:56.760 --> 0:23:01.960 needs as far as emotionally to be an active listener, 0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:08.399 an emotional engager to where he is. Uh. He's engaging 0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:14.080 with a certain level of sensitivity uh and empathy, you know, 0:23:14.240 --> 0:23:17.119 because I think it it takes him back to his 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:21.160 mom and it allows her to be able to see 0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:25.359 something totally different than him as a man. But you might, 0:23:26.440 --> 0:23:29.000 I agree with Leonard said, with the with the empathy 0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:32.080