1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,359 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: a terrible throuffle. Guess what You've got Decisions? Hey, y'all, 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: welcome back to another episode of You've Got Decisions. It's wheezy. 5 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: I'm in Los Angeles at the moment at WTF Media Studios. 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: Here I'm by myself, so sad you miss Mandy, I 7 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: know me too. We are heading to Vegas for the 8 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: Avian Awards. Fingers crossed. You're probably hearing this after we've 9 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: gone to Vegas, but hoping that we win Best Podcast. 10 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: For those of you that don't know what the Avian 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: Awards is, they are also known as Support Awards. I'm 12 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: here at my girl Denisha, and she's one of our 13 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: lead engineers here at WTF Media Studios, and she is 14 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,319 Speaker 1: going to read off some questions. So normally on You've 15 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: Got Decisions, we find one issue that's fucking you up, 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: and today we're doing an amak me anything. Hopefully these 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: aren't too bad. I actually only looked at like one 18 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: because I just screen shot it like in the car Tiia. 19 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 2: So I just want to start by saying people say 20 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 2: crazy shit to you when you're like some of these 21 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 2: are crazy? 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: Oh, like can they? 23 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 3: Can you sit on my face? Is crazy? 24 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: Like I'm so used to this, I have to doing 25 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: horrible decisions for you. Like I'm trying to think of 26 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: the craziest request that I don't even fulfill. But I'm 27 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: just saying, like I feel like that's like level two. 28 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 3: That's funny. 29 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: Uh. 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 2: Okay, do you think it's possible for a relationship to 31 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 2: succeed with just one partner being open? 32 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: Okay, So I'll start because I'm definitely ethic. Hellll I 33 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: have racist everybody ethically no a monogamous person. And then 34 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: Denisha want your answers. So, for one, I hospital, Dick, 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: if you've been a listener of decisions decisions for a minute. 36 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: With someone I dated that was totally monogamous, all I 37 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: wanted to do was sleep with other women with him, 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: and he was like no, Like, if you don't want 39 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: only me, this doesn't make sense one person having such 40 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: an open and like free brain, it really fucks up 41 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: because what ends up happening is you make the other 42 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: person feel so unwanted. Like, for example, if you were 43 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: dating somebody and they had sex with another woman. You 44 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: may feel insecure, like they don't care about you. You 45 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: might feel unloved, you might feel like you're not doing enough, 46 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: you're not pleasing sexually. My brain doesn't go there, which 47 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 1: is weird. I should, but I just be thinking, Oh, 48 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: he's just super horny, or he wants to try something new, 49 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: and I'm able to detach. So like, I have a 50 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,959 Speaker 1: lot of conversations with my homegirls where they judge me 51 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: on the other end. Sometimes even in a friendship is 52 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: difficult and they be like, oh, he doesn't want to 53 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: do this, it's hyper sexual, or this isn't good for 54 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: a family dynamic. And it's like, I've been like this 55 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: my whole fucking life. And I honestly I can remember 56 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: even like the college age, not that I finish college, 57 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: but the college age have a girlfriend and then having a 58 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: boyfriend and always being that kind of girl. And I 59 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: feel like it really carried on to me being a 60 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 1: middle aged woman thirty five middle aged No easy, it's okay, 61 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: Well I feel close. Okay, so you meet somebody great, 62 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: they're ethically no monogamoust but you're not. Do you think 63 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: it could work? 64 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 3: I do not. 65 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 2: They're ethically no monogamous and I'm not. Yeah, and he 66 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 2: wants to sleep with other women. That's not I don't 67 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 2: think I could handle that. 68 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: Now. What if he told you, like, okay, well I 69 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: could try being monogamoust would you even have faith in that? 70 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 3: Probably not, if I'm being honest. 71 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 2: It would just be in the back of my mind, 72 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 2: like you really you just want to fuck other bitches 73 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: for real? 74 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,279 Speaker 3: Not even yeah. 75 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: I don't think that, Like I would feel secure knowing 76 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: that that other person is used to a lifestyle. It's 77 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: almost like I'm vegan, you eat meat, but you go 78 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: vegan for me. 79 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 2: But I feel like if I was a man and 80 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 2: I was monogamous and my girl wanted to be no 81 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 2: and she wanted to be with other women, I would 82 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,839 Speaker 2: be like, cool, what's it? 83 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: See? This is the thing men say that, and I 84 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: think after a while you're just like, okay, so you 85 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: get to do all this and I can't. And I've 86 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: actually read letters from women had I can't remember who 87 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: it was, but someone close to me. Maybe we had 88 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: them on horrible I don't know, But long story short, 89 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: she was really getting annoyed with the fact that her 90 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,719 Speaker 1: boyfriend wanted to be involved with her other women. She's like, 91 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: I'm not with any other man. I don't understand why 92 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: he needs to ruin this. This is my thing. This 93 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: is my thing solo. I'm like, okay, but you don't 94 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: let him have. 95 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 3: Him his thing. 96 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 2: So, but is it she's just not letting him do 97 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 2: it or he has the option too, he just doesn't 98 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 2: want to. 99 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: I don't think he has option either. That's the rule. 100 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Just like you said, so, the 101 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: open shit is just really fucking weird. The only time 102 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 1: it does work. Unfortunately, this is very misogynistic to say, 103 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: but I believe it could work if the man is 104 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: not monogamous and you genuinely don't want to sleep with 105 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: anyone else, and they respect the boundaries. I only say 106 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: that because we've been having this mindset of men cheat, 107 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: men want other things, but they'll always come home in 108 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: our brains for so long that I actually think some 109 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: women can handle that. I don't know I could know, 110 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: but I do think some women could. And let me 111 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: just say for the record, me being open it open 112 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: and closes all the time, Like we talk about when 113 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: I want to have children then and at that point 114 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: it'll be closed. There's times where I get really depressed 115 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: and stressy about my family stuff and our relationship is closed. 116 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: Like I might to be crying about some shit, but 117 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: my mama, you gets wis me right? But like everybody 118 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: has different rules for me. Opening and closing is the best. 119 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: If we're in an argument, we don't act on other things. 120 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: If we're having a tough week, No, Like, what do 121 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: I look like entertaining some bitch on my phone and 122 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: we're not good? 123 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: I feel like that's how you can tell if a 124 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: couple is actually ethically no monogamous because they like genuinely 125 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 2: want to be you know what I mean, Like, you 126 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 2: guys have boundaries and all that stuff, Like you're not 127 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 2: just doing it just to do it. 128 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're they're doing it just to do it though, 129 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:07,559 Speaker 1: that's the ego. 130 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, this next question, would you stay with 131 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 2: a man you love through erectile dysfunction. 132 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: Back to the open? Yeah, because I feel like that 133 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: could be fixed. 134 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, they have pills for that. 135 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: I don't really, I say, And I will say this. 136 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 1: I have like a lot of weird pussy stuff that 137 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,719 Speaker 1: happens not smell, but sometimes I have areas of vagin 138 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: it's missed throughout my life. When I was nineteen years old, 139 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: it happened with like clenching or super tightness needing to relax, 140 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: like I've had it happen twice from nineteen to today 141 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: at thirty three years old, and I can't imagine if 142 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: somebody was like, oh, yeah, I'm not dealing with this, 143 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: so yeah, am I. 144 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 3: A supposed to answer? 145 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: I know you staying with that limp D. 146 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,160 Speaker 3: I've never experienced it. 147 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 2: But the guy that I'm kind of dating right now, 148 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: he's older, and sometimes I feel like. 149 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: What's that mean? 150 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 2: Well, he's thirty six, girl, how do you thirty? But 151 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: I feel like that's like the age where that starts 152 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: to happen. 153 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: That is not older. I really thought when you heard 154 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: that Clara, didn't you think she was about to be like, 155 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: he's forty five fifty? She said, I'm dating someone older's. 156 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 2: She's like, first off, thirty six is older to you, 157 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 2: not older, but he's older than me thirty. 158 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: And thirty six is not that much. When you said 159 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: I'm dating someone older, I was ready for him to 160 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: have an ARP card. 161 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,679 Speaker 3: Okay, let's go to the next question. 162 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: Agreed, Yeah, you're tripping you right there. 163 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 2: Okay, this is not for them. I met him on hinge. 164 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: Okay, that's where a mama and he ain't got no ed, 165 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: you'll be straight. 166 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 3: That's funny. Okay, let me find another one. 167 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: To answer the can I sit on your face question? 168 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: What did you think I was gonna reply? 169 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 3: That's all imagine like, yeah, let me just I. 170 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: Just want to know when people are like, let me 171 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: fuck you in the ass in a random comments if 172 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 1: someone's like, yeah, okay. 173 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: Okay, how you tell him you don't want to have 174 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 2: sex with him anymore? No hard feelings, just done with it. 175 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: How do you tell someone you don't want to have 176 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: sex with him anymore? Okay? Number one the ghosting shit, 177 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: We have to stop this. In twenty twenty five, ghosting 178 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: someone is just so fucked up because even if you 179 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 1: just lose interest, you literally make them feel like, holy shit, 180 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,839 Speaker 1: they're walking back the days they spent with you last, 181 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: the last conversation. They're thinking they did something to piss 182 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: you off, hurt your feelings. And if it's literally just 183 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: a disconnect and energy, ugh, simple text be like hey, 184 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: this really sucks, but moving into a new phase, I'd 185 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,599 Speaker 1: like it if we could just continue our our relationship 186 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: at a friendship level, like I don't even leave room 187 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: for maybe open ended. No, just like this is what 188 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: I need. We're friends now. I like a text message too, 189 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: because I feel like once you get somebody on the phone, 190 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: they'd be trying to talk you off the ledch and 191 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: get back in a pussy. 192 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 3: Okay, this is a good one. 193 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 2: Let's talk about when men have a great masculinity energy. 194 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 2: I'm assuming they mean masculine energy. But the dick size 195 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 2: is three T. Do you leave three T isn't tomer? 196 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 3: Yes? 197 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: Okay, this is the difference between sexual arousal. I think 198 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: in the actual sex, if he is a small dick 199 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: and that can't get you off, but his masculine energy, 200 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: his presence, and all of that seems to be satisfying you. 201 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. If you can't handle a small dick, 202 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: you do gotta go. Nothing is worse than getting fucked 203 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: and feeling like you can't feel it. Now. I've dated 204 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: somebody with a small dick before, and the reason it 205 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: wasn't bad is because I was so into them. I 206 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 1: didn't even I realized the sex was bad until I 207 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: gave him some pussy. Once we broke up, and I 208 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: was like, this was what I was having, this little 209 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: shrimp beak. Yeah, I know. I would figure out if 210 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: you enjoy the sex with him outside of penetration, whether 211 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: it be oral, whether it just be I don't know, 212 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: the making out, fucking riding him that can also make 213 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: it feel another inch bigger, anal, whatever it is, like, 214 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: do you enjoy the things outside of him? Because I 215 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: would keep a motherfucker on the roster if they were 216 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: fun and fine, and I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna 217 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: suck that little dick later and put up with it. 218 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: And then you have your BBD on a feed dial. 219 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 2: All right, it's six months too early to have a 220 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 2: baby by someone you just met. 221 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 1: I don't want to say no because I don't want 222 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: to have to get rid of it. So next question, 223 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm trying to find this is crazy, Like 224 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: are you pregnant now? In what state do you live in? 225 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: Do I need to say I knew something? 226 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 3: Jeez? 227 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no way. I actually think you need to 228 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: live with somebody before you coparent with them. No judgment. 229 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: If this hasn't happened to anybody who's listening, I know 230 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: things happened by surprise. I'm a cream pie girl too. 231 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 2: It's okay, tell us about a time sex made you cry. 232 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 2: I've been having a lot of these moments, good cries. 233 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: Okay, ooh the last time I had a good cry 234 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: during sex? Okay, it was last week. I was really 235 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: stressed out about work. And the thing that sucks about 236 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: crying during sex is it's not always about the person. 237 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: So what happened was I was having a bad day. 238 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: I was falling asleep on the couch. After hyping him 239 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: up there he was gonna get some pussy, and once 240 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: he carried me into the bed, I started to just 241 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I feel so bad. I'm 242 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: always hired, I'm always this, I'm always busy. Now he 243 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: starts kissing me, massaging me. We start fucking, and I 244 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: don't know if the dick just hit this little emotional 245 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: button in my piss's pussy, but I just start full 246 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: on having a fucking breakdown, crying, and I think that 247 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: he thought I was having a crazy orgasm from it, 248 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 1: but it was just a very intense moment of release. 249 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: It almost felt like the sex that I was having 250 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: with him was for myself and not even him, and 251 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: there's a lot of times where I get so overwhelmed 252 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: with my own shit that I forget my own pleasure. 253 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: I forget to masturbate, I forget to look pretty, I 254 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: forget to just take care of my own sexual self. 255 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: And so that was the last time I cried randomly, 256 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: though I've definitely accidentally cried with like someone that I 257 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,679 Speaker 1: don't give a fuck about. And the entire time I 258 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: cry when I'm getting fucked is it's really I'm just 259 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 1: releasing I've said that Towice Okay. Rules for fuck buddies, ooh, 260 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: I think this is a really good one. So Mandy 261 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: and I talked about this with I feel like Mike 262 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: the Poet, and it was a conversation we had regarding 263 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: romance for fuck buddies. I think it's all up to 264 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 1: what you can handle. For example, if someone had to 265 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: make a rule book for Wheezy, I'm not even gonna 266 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: say what rules you should make. I'm an overly emotional girl. 267 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: I know what I can handle. I know what I 268 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: can't handle. So I would say number one for me, 269 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: no sleepovers, waking up next to someone, the cuddling, the 270 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: getting to watch the movies. That's an intimacy that's so 271 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: beyond sex that I'll start to get attached and you'll 272 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: become the placeholder for that. Let's just say when I 273 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: was single, I know me and a Keen Woods would 274 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: watch back to back reality shit fucking dumb TV. And 275 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: if I was doing that with my fuck buddy, it 276 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,079 Speaker 1: would literally make him the placehold. I would stop thinking 277 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: about doing things with friends because I want to share 278 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: them with you. You just start going beyond. I think 279 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: another rule for fuck buddy to me, no fluid bonding, 280 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: which means using condoms only. I think even when it's 281 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: your only partner at the time, something happens when the 282 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: condom come off where you're my nigga. Now rule number 283 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 1: three for Wheezy again, I think no events that include 284 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: friends front facing, like things where you're mixing and mingling 285 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: with people that are in your inner circle. I think 286 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 1: the fuck buddy should actually remain pretty anonymous to everybody 287 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: you know, like of course your homegirls know who they 288 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: are in the group chat. But I think once you 289 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: start taking it outside of the bedroom, you lose control 290 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: and you start to get the wires crossed, and then 291 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: you end up wanting more, and then boom, Now you 292 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: got no date next. 293 00:14:58,960 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 3: With you? 294 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 2: Show your ever show your partner publicly and why don't 295 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 2: you just do? 296 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: Okay, So this is an interesting one. What I would 297 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: show my partner publicly? For me, it used to be 298 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: a hard No. I've only done it with my ex 299 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: girlfriend and that's because we dated before I had a podcast, 300 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: so I say no. But me and this nigga are 301 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: a dating app. So it's like, I don't know for 302 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: right now. No, But I feel like if I was married, 303 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind. But it's never gonna be like this 304 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: in my head. I could be wrong. This still photoed 305 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: me with him out. I feel like I'm gonnaybe have 306 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: a story and I'm gonna be like, oh my god, 307 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: we're doing this ha haa like some in the moment shit. 308 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: I just don't know if I want like it on 309 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: the grid. And for me, it's mainly because you do 310 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: invite a lot of energy in once you start sharing, 311 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: and this is the first someone that's not a podcast 312 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: or a personality or what I genuinely feel like. Once 313 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: you have a photo of someone on your page, you 314 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: just invite a lot of energy and you invite someone 315 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: to send it to them and say, oh, when did 316 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: you start doing this? Or I don't know, fake pages, 317 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 1: just weird shit. I just the private shit is really real. 318 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: The more that you keep things private, the more peaceful 319 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: your relationship is. But I also know, on the contrary, 320 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people like to share their partner publicly 321 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: because they feel like they're claimed, right, Like a lot 322 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: of my homegirls have said they feel way better when 323 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: their man posts them, and I'm just like, but he'll 324 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: still fucking rely bisuck he wants to. I really believe that. 325 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 3: What about you? 326 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: Have you ever like posted someone. 327 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 3: You've dated or never? 328 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 2: I don't really post anyway like that, and I just don't. 329 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 2: I would, but I just don't. 330 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: How many months or years would you have to date 331 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: before you do it. 332 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: I feel like I would want to post like my wedding, 333 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 2: That's what I would want. 334 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: I'll think about that too, Yeah, which I'm gonna try 335 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: to sell my wedd into fuse. You know. Actually, there's 336 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:10,919 Speaker 1: one thing I almost posted recently. So my boyfriend and 337 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: my mom have a really special relationship that they've been growing. 338 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: In the day that they met, they were dancing together 339 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 1: in the living room. She started playing music and I 340 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 1: came out of the bath and they were dancing, and 341 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: then I went to his parents' house. I made food 342 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 1: for them. Yes, I made food for a Nigerian family. 343 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,919 Speaker 1: I can't believe it either. I was scared and we 344 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 1: started dancing with his mom and I was like, damn. 345 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: You know when you go to someone's wedding and in 346 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 1: the vows they talk about what the couple liked to 347 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 1: do together. I was like, Oh, this is like a 348 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 1: really special thing of us. So I thought about posting it, 349 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, this is only 350 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: special to me, And if I posted, I'm just showing 351 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: it off. Sure, I'm sharing my happiness, but like somebody 352 00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: will ruin it. And no, the most they gonna get 353 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 1: out of me right now, I'm about to be a 354 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: asia for a few weeks. S'all might get a little 355 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: bit of a beach, his nipper ring and one or 356 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,120 Speaker 1: two dreds. 357 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 2: That's what I think I got to get. Okay, I've 358 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 2: been dealing with the same man for fifteen years. Do 359 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 2: I keep fucking him? 360 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 1: What the fuck kind of context is that? 361 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 3: Bitch? 362 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 2: I know, I'm assuming it's like a situationship type of thing. 363 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: I think situationships are an interesting thing because, like, I've 364 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: been stuck in so many of them just because I 365 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 1: thought it would eventually happen. I actually think my relationship 366 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: now could have almost been a situationship. Almost Once you're 367 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: wit that six months mark, it's like, am I you 368 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: a bit or now? Like what's going on? Fifteen years 369 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,120 Speaker 1: is a long fucking time. I'm gonna guess that your 370 00:18:53,160 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 1: mid thirties, I must say, in fifteen years, someone isn't 371 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: stepping up in the way that you want. You need 372 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 1: to look elsewhere. And in those fifteen years you've probably 373 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: become so comfortable with this person that like, you don't 374 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: even look anywhere else where else, You're satisfied. Your family 375 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: and your friends probably know him like he's just there. 376 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: But no, I think it also shows how much they're 377 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 1: willing to take advantage of you if they haven't stepped 378 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: up in fifteen years, either pitch fifteen months out of it, 379 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: out of there, Sorry, no, shade, we have time for 380 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 1: one more. 381 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 3: Yes, this is a little bit less on the sex side. 382 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,159 Speaker 3: How do you manifest? 383 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is a good one. Okay, let 384 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:41,919 Speaker 1: me pull up what Okay, people have been asking me 385 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: for a long time how I manifested my partner. I'm 386 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 1: going to give this advice. Okay, there was a high 387 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: level frequency Ooh, I'm a hotap where I was trying 388 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 1: to manifest love. I would listen to it tonight and 389 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 1: I don't know if it said words during or whatever. 390 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 1: It was some ten hour YouTube, right, But this is 391 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: what I will say for manifestation. This is the best 392 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 1: tip I can give. I believe that everything I want hair, nails, money, friendship, love, 393 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: everything I think comes to you from the way that 394 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: you talk to yourself. So for the next three days, 395 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 1: I want all of you listening to start talking to 396 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 1: yourself differently. Every inner conversation that you're having in your head. 397 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 1: The second it gets bad, you need to course correct. 398 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:44,880 Speaker 1: For example, Denisha, let's just say she walks outside and 399 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: so she did the bitch field down yesterday. That's right, 400 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: knee to the ground. So this kind of knocks you 401 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: off your game for a second, and it makes you 402 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: like be like fuck, like I'm so or whatever, I'm 403 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: not paying attention. Instead of shitting on yourself, the next 404 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 1: thing you say is something like I have the ability 405 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: to be more still, to be more calm, to be 406 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: more patient things like that. Normally when we trip or 407 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: falls because we're in a rush, it's things like that. 408 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: It's course correcting that thought. And of course your mind 409 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: is going to be like, ugh, you're annoyed. But that's 410 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: the next thing you say to yourself. And you also 411 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,120 Speaker 1: need to learn how to talk to yourself in your 412 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: own head. So, for example, if I was trying to 413 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: get a bank loan, instead of having nervous energy while 414 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: the decision is being made, I'm gonna sit there, I'm 415 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: gonna be quiet, and I'm going to start feeling and 416 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: seeing what it's like to have that I don't know, 417 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars extra that I need to be approved, 418 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: And if it doesn't happen, I'm going to be like, 419 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: maybe the APR was too high at this bank, because 420 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it everything I want I get when 421 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: it comes to like, I would say love, which is 422 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: what many people ask me for about manifesting. The reason 423 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: I think it happened is because I already talked about 424 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 1: what he would look like, what he would smell like, 425 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: the things he would be into. I've played this video 426 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: so many times to myself and to him. I was 427 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 1: in Brooklyn in Mandy's studio two years ago, maybe three 428 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: years ago, and I literally said everything about what he 429 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: would be like and the kind of conversations we would have, 430 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: and what people would think of him, what I would 431 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: think of him, and how he would make me feel. 432 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,360 Speaker 1: And I got it like eight months later. But it's 433 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 1: because I knew it was coming. I felt very deeply 434 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: that this is what was meant for my life. I 435 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,439 Speaker 1: also will say when it comes to manifesting, you have 436 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: to actually believe it. It has to be a natural thought 437 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:53,679 Speaker 1: that's coming to your head. Manifestation and affirmation are not 438 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: the same thing. You cannot look in a mirror and 439 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:03,360 Speaker 1: say I am beautiful, I am worthy and think that's manifestation. 440 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: It's not. That's words coming out of your mouth. Your 441 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,679 Speaker 1: manifestation is your thoughts. If you are not actively and 442 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:15,200 Speaker 1: strongly thinking that you're a fucking winner, that you're fucking beautiful, 443 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: that you are the most beautiful person walking down the street, 444 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: external internal, that people could see it, you'll literally change 445 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: your posture once you start talking to yourself like that, 446 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 1: And if you can try to course correct bad conversations 447 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: with yourself for three days, I think you will see 448 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: a difference already. I really will attest to this. I 449 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,639 Speaker 1: believe it all the time. With money, I've had so 450 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,160 Speaker 1: many little pitfalls that will happen, something that will cancel, 451 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, h it, really, I understand too. 452 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: It It takes privilege to say that, but I want 453 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: you to know confidence is everything when it comes to 454 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,399 Speaker 1: manifesting what you want. So I hope all of these 455 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: tips help. If you want me to do another AMA, 456 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:03,640 Speaker 1: just write Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. I'm still 457 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: getting used to not saying horrible decisions at gmail dot com. 458 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: And we won't answer all of your you got decisions 459 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 1: questions also on Patreon if you're a Patreon member, we 460 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,200 Speaker 1: use those questions as priority lists, so we won't mainly 461 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: get to those first before email. So see you next Wednesday.