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Speaker 1: This is a very special edition of our Challenge Show,

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Speaker 1: brought to you by Hi. Hi, you need and what

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Speaker 1: types of things did you do today? I blame blame

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Speaker 1: to with my brother. I am Yeah, well my brother

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Speaker 1: and watching YouTube. Yeah well my brother edith Net Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well my brother. And that's the end of our show.

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Speaker 1: Please make sure to like and subscribe. I hope you

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Speaker 1: like Okay Challenge show. Okay, now I want to here.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girl's podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

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Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship

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Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for joining me for session one six one of

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Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Fellow parents in the community,

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Speaker 1: I am sure you feel me when I say this.

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Speaker 1: Past couple of months have been rough, so today Dr

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Speaker 1: and Louise Lockhart is back to chat about what it

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Speaker 1: looks like to parent through a pandemic. Dr Lockhart is

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Speaker 1: a pediatric psychologist, parent coach, and the business own are

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Speaker 1: of a New Day Pediatric Psychology in San Antonio, Texas.

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Speaker 1: Born and raised on the island of St. Croix in

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Speaker 1: the US Virgin Islands in the Caribbean, Dr Lockhart has

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Speaker 1: a doctorate in clinical psychology and is Board certified in

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Speaker 1: clinical child and Adolescent psychology. She's worked in both military

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Speaker 1: and civilian settings. Dr Lockhart and I chatted about the

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Speaker 1: benefits of routine and structure right now, managing your own

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Speaker 1: and your child's anxiety about cities reopening, what kinds of

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Speaker 1: things we should be considering about school in the fall,

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Speaker 1: and how to have conversations with our kids and our

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Speaker 1: schools about racism and racial trauma. If you hear something

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Speaker 1: while listening that resonates with you, please be sure to

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Speaker 1: share it with us on social media using the hashtag

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Speaker 1: TBG in session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for joining us again today, Dr Lockhart, you for inviting me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: always a pleasure to chat with you, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get her back because the last time you

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Speaker 1: shared such great information about coregulation, right, and that was

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Speaker 1: before all of our lives got turned upside down, right,

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Speaker 1: So exactly like I have been trying to listen to

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Speaker 1: the episode on repeat, like, Okay, how can I call

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Speaker 1: regulate today? Because it feels like all that good stuff

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Speaker 1: you shared, I'm really struggling to try to figure out.

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Speaker 1: And I would imagine that lots of other parents are too,

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Speaker 1: So I'm curious just to hear how the pandemic and

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Speaker 1: everything that has been happening has really just kind of

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Speaker 1: up ended everything we were doing in terms of parenting.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely. I mean before all this happened. I mean,

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Speaker 1: as you know, and as some people know or may

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Speaker 1: not know, is that when you are needing to prepare

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Speaker 1: for a life altering event, many times we have some

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Speaker 1: kind of preparation right, or we know that it's coming,

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Speaker 1: or at least have an idea, have some kind of

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Speaker 1: file system past experience for something similar, right, And then

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Speaker 1: this pandemic hit and we're like, wait, um wait, I

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Speaker 1: don't have a file for pandemics. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do when a global I mean, I've seen movies

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Speaker 1: on it, but I don't know what I was supposed

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Speaker 1: to do. And so I think what has caused such

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Speaker 1: such an upheaval is because for many people, like for

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Speaker 1: here in Texas, we were literally on spring break and

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Speaker 1: ending it when we heard the news, and then we

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Speaker 1: told our kids, hey, guys, spring break is extended, and

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Speaker 1: then like hey, and then I'm like it's extended some more.

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Speaker 1: And then like okay, they're like, so when are we

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Speaker 1: going back? And I'm like, probably in April, okay, maybe nay, okay,

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Speaker 1: maybe August, right, And so I think that we we

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Speaker 1: really didn't know how to prepare, like how do you

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Speaker 1: prepare for being at home with your spouse and your

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Speaker 1: kids nons up m and then maybe not be able

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Speaker 1: to go to work or work differently teach your kids.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was, it was a crazy adjustment. It was.

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Speaker 1: It was very difficult. And I think that's what makes

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Speaker 1: it so much harder that we didn't have anything to

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Speaker 1: relate it to and no kind of system to compare

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Speaker 1: it to. Mm hmmm. Yeah. And that's what I have found,

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Speaker 1: I think, just so overwhelming. You know, Like I said,

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Speaker 1: our last conversation talked about like how important it is

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Speaker 1: to make sure that you're taking care of yourself so

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Speaker 1: that you can then extend that to your kids. And

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Speaker 1: in this situation, we were all just thrown into working

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Speaker 1: from home, and then you're trying to school from home,

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Speaker 1: and you can't even like move about the world in

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Speaker 1: the same ways that you were and so it just

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Speaker 1: felt like lots and lots of demands on your time

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Speaker 1: and resources without very many ways of really kind of

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Speaker 1: releasing some of it exactly. And I think what was

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Speaker 1: happening for a lot of people, including myself, is the

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Speaker 1: things that we would normally do, we could not do anymore. So, like,

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Speaker 1: I love me some retail therapy, right, I couldn't go anywhere,

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Speaker 1: nor did I want to, um, you know, getting together

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Speaker 1: with friends, okay, social distancing, going to the movies, can't

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Speaker 1: do that. Go to the zoo, that's closed. I mean,

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Speaker 1: like everything everything we would do with our kids or

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Speaker 1: for ourselves, you literally could not do. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's what so much harder is that. Yeah, co regulation

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Speaker 1: and be able to you know, regulate and manage and

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Speaker 1: balance your time is all fighting good when you have

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Speaker 1: the option, but when you literally have no options. You

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Speaker 1: have to get very, very creative with how you do that.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. So now it feels like some parts of

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Speaker 1: the country are opening back up, right like I know, well,

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Speaker 1: here in Georgia there are several things that have been

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Speaker 1: opened even for a couple of weeks, although we are

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Speaker 1: staying put. But things are opening up again now, and

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Speaker 1: so I'm wondering if you have ideas about how we

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Speaker 1: might be able to do that with our families in

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Speaker 1: a way that feels safe. Yes, that's a great, great question,

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Speaker 1: because now a lot of places are opening up, including

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Speaker 1: San Antonio, but we, as you said, are put as well.

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Speaker 1: I think that's where you have to really do your

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Speaker 1: research and look to see what kind of measures are

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Speaker 1: put in place, and then again talk to your family

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Speaker 1: about how they feel, how you can do that gradually

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Speaker 1: and safely, and how you can start to get into

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Speaker 1: the world in a way that feels right for you. So,

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Speaker 1: for example, a couple of weeks ago, probably three weeks

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Speaker 1: ago now, my family and I decided to go find

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Speaker 1: a lake to go to so we can get outside

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Speaker 1: and be in nature. They were all closed, so that

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Speaker 1: that made it a little bit difficult, but we were

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Speaker 1: still able to go to a park and hang out together,

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Speaker 1: getting take out from a restaurant and then having a

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Speaker 1: picnic somewhere outside, being able to hang out together, being

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Speaker 1: able to hang out with family. We actually hung out

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Speaker 1: with our in laws twice because we know that they've

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Speaker 1: been quarantined and isolated in social distance, just like us,

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Speaker 1: And initially we felt uncomfortable, and my son told me

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Speaker 1: he felt comfortable, and I acknowledge that I also felt

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Speaker 1: that ways as well too, and that it was okay

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Speaker 1: to feel that way because it's been three months since

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Speaker 1: he thought person in person besides us. So I think

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Speaker 1: for for us, and how I am encouraging a lot

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Speaker 1: of the clients and the families that I'm seeing is

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Speaker 1: to do it in a way that feels right for

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Speaker 1: you and gradually while staying safe. And I know that's hard.

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Speaker 1: That's a hard thing to do, but it's important because

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Speaker 1: staying home all the time, I'm seeing it take a

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Speaker 1: significant toll on families. When I'm talking to them virtually,

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Speaker 1: because I'm seeing everybody virtually still, they're getting on each

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Speaker 1: other's nerves, they're fighting over really ridiculous things, They're they're

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Speaker 1: spent they're overwhelmed and they're exhausted. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things that I've been telling them is we as human beings,

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Speaker 1: try to find ways to connect with other people. And

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Speaker 1: if the way that you can connect is through arguing

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Speaker 1: and fighting, then that so be it. And that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing is that we're like, Okay, we don't know

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Speaker 1: how that's to connect. There's no significant drama going on

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Speaker 1: in my life because I can't go to school, I

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Speaker 1: can't go to the movies. There's not much I can do.

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Speaker 1: So it's kind of like we unconsciously create this conflict

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Speaker 1: to create this connection. And I'm sting a lot of families,

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Speaker 1: a lot of squabbling and a lot of debates about

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Speaker 1: things that I'm trying to like, what in the world

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? Because people are wanting to connect,

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Speaker 1: their wanting some excitement, they're wanting some meaning in their life,

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Speaker 1: and it's hard when you don't have much going on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad you share the story about your son

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Speaker 1: because I think that that goes to you know, what

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Speaker 1: we talk about often is making sure that we're giving

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Speaker 1: space for kids concerns to be heard. And so I'm

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Speaker 1: wondering I would imagine that lots of kids probably are

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Speaker 1: feeling really anxious. I mean, depending on their age, they

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Speaker 1: might not quite understand what all of this means. They

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Speaker 1: just know that they can't, you know, see their friends,

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Speaker 1: can't go to school, can't go out and play. And

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Speaker 1: so I'm wondering what kinds of things we might be

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Speaker 1: able to do with our kids who may be feeling

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Speaker 1: a little anxious, even if we feel like we can

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Speaker 1: kind of interact with some people safely. Yes, So one

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Speaker 1: of the things that I emphasize, whether we're in a

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Speaker 1: pandemic or not, is to acknowledge your discomfort and do

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Speaker 1: it anyway. Mm hmmm, because if you wait until you're

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Speaker 1: comfortable enough, then you may never do it right and

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Speaker 1: acknowledging it empathizing with them. That's where the coregulation comes

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Speaker 1: from that we talked about before, is that if someone

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Speaker 1: is feeling a certain way, as a parent, we want

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge that emotion. We want to acknowledge that feeling

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Speaker 1: and just missing it and trying to fix it or

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Speaker 1: trying to correct it or ignore it isn't the way

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Speaker 1: that we help our children make sense of their emotions

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Speaker 1: and their experiences. So being able to say, yeah, honey,

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Speaker 1: I know that family is coming over and you're uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm a little uncomfortable too, And he's like,

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Speaker 1: do we have to hug them? I'm like, no, you

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Speaker 1: do not have to hug them. He's like, because they

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Speaker 1: could have the virus. Somey do have the virus. And

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Speaker 1: I said, I know that that's what you've been hearing

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Speaker 1: a lot about. But just like we've been home, they've

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Speaker 1: been home as well too, and we're going to hope

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Speaker 1: for the best because for our own mental health, we

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Speaker 1: need to be around some people. So acknowledging his feelings,

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Speaker 1: and then when I told him I felt uncomfortable, he

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Speaker 1: goes you too. I was like, yeah, hecky, I feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: I said, I've just been with you guys for three months.

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Speaker 1: I'm got a little uncomfortable seeing other human beings. So

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Speaker 1: acknowledging that their experience is valid and that it makes sense,

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Speaker 1: and then confirmed that, you know, as a grown up,

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Speaker 1: I feel those same hesitations as well too, and it's

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Speaker 1: okay mm hmm yeah. And I would imagine, I mean

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Speaker 1: not even have some of this myself, right, the inverse

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Speaker 1: happening right, like the kids are ready to kind of

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Speaker 1: go back and be out in the world. And then

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Speaker 1: as a parent, you still feeling very anxious, right, so

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Speaker 1: you might not take some of those steps. So would

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Speaker 1: the same suggestion be to feel the discomfort and try

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Speaker 1: and do it anyway, Yes, with appropriate precautions, right, because

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Speaker 1: I'm meeting with a lot of teenagers who they really

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Speaker 1: are totally comfortable and like, okay, pump the brakes. Um,

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Speaker 1: that's a little bit too much comfort, you know. So

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Speaker 1: it's about balancing it out to say, Okay, what are

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Speaker 1: some steps that you can take based on the things

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Speaker 1: that you enjoy, some self care things that you are

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Speaker 1: doing for yourself before that you can start doing now.

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Speaker 1: So maybe it's taking an art class online, or taking

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Speaker 1: up a new sport that you always wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: or taking a little a small little road trip, you know,

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Speaker 1: a day trip, or find trying out a new restaurant,

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Speaker 1: but really helping them to be creative because a lot

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Speaker 1: of that anxiety will build because of the monotony. And

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Speaker 1: I really believe a lot of people experience significance amount

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Speaker 1: of anxiety and stuckness because they do the same thing

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Speaker 1: over and over again, and that monotony will really do

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Speaker 1: something to someone's psyche because it makes you feel like

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Speaker 1: you don't have a sense of purpose, that you're not

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Speaker 1: engaged in and the things that you value and that

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Speaker 1: you enjoy. Uh And and that's that feeling stuck can

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Speaker 1: really wear on you. And I think that's what's happened

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Speaker 1: to a lot of people is that they're doing the

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Speaker 1: same thing every day, and even if it's changing, it's

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Speaker 1: not the same as it was before. You're seeing people

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Speaker 1: with masks, you're seeing people disconnected, you're seeing people at

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Speaker 1: a distance, or it just some it just doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like the same. And so really helping them again to

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Speaker 1: be able to express those feelings and express those anxieties

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Speaker 1: and normalize it validated. Yeah, so how do you manage

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Speaker 1: our balance that you know, because I know something that

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Speaker 1: we also talk about is like the importance of having

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Speaker 1: a structure and having a routine and that also helping

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Speaker 1: to manage anxiety. But you're saying, maybe too much of

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Speaker 1: that can also work against you. Yes it can, because

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Speaker 1: having a structure and having a routine is all fine

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Speaker 1: and good. But the thing is now we have to

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Speaker 1: think about for many people who have been in quarantine

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Speaker 1: for two or three months. They many people have just

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Speaker 1: been like whatever goes goes right, wake up at ten,

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Speaker 1: go to bed at three am, video games ten hours.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's been a lot of people who have

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Speaker 1: done whatever, And then there's other people who have had

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Speaker 1: like a very strict schedule, but it's still not the

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Speaker 1: same as it was before being in school seven eight

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Speaker 1: hours a day, for example. So it's about having an

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Speaker 1: appropriate balance. But also I'm telling a lot of parents

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Speaker 1: ease it up a little bit, like it's not that serious.

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Speaker 1: Like if normally your kids go to bed at eight

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Speaker 1: thirty on a normal regular school day before quarantine and

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Speaker 1: then they, you know, wake up at six at the

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Speaker 1: cracko dawn, Like they don't have to continue doing that.

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Speaker 1: It's okay that they sleep in a little bit. It's

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Speaker 1: okay that they're on TV or in the screens a

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Speaker 1: little bit longer, Like that's okay. So I think that

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Speaker 1: while having a routine, we have to have some flexibility

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Speaker 1: and we have to give ourselves some grace while not

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Speaker 1: taking things too seriously, because this is stressful for everybody,

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Speaker 1: and it's stressful for kids, especially because they can fully

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Speaker 1: make sense of what's happening. Mm hmm. Yeah. So something

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Speaker 1: else that I've seen lots of parents share concerns about

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Speaker 1: our milestones when we know that, you know, there are

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Speaker 1: different milestones that children meet even up through high school,

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Speaker 1: and so what kinds of information do we need to

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Speaker 1: know about, like any milestones that our kids may be missing.

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Speaker 1: This probably is more important for like only children, right,

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Speaker 1: So of course some of the socialization piece might be

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Speaker 1: able to be met if you have siblings, but there

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Speaker 1: are still some things that we're not going to be

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Speaker 1: able to do. So what kinds of concerns should we

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Speaker 1: have as parents about missing milestones? Like is there a

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Speaker 1: way to make that up? Yeah, that's a great question.

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Speaker 1: The reason why I love working with kids so much

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Speaker 1: is because I think they are remarkably resilient and adaptable,

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Speaker 1: and they also mirror the people in their lives that

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Speaker 1: are important to them, their caregivers. So kids will adopt

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Speaker 1: easier to things even if they're missing out if the

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Speaker 1: people in their life are adapting. So if you, as

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Speaker 1: a parent, are freaking out that you're becoming unglued, that

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Speaker 1: you are not keeping it together, um, for the most part,

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Speaker 1: because of course we're going to do that from time

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Speaker 1: to time, but we're not modeling appropriate adaptation. Our kids

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Speaker 1: are going to pick up on that. It's going to

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Speaker 1: be more detrimental to them. So it's really important to

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Speaker 1: understand that, yes, there's gonna be lots of kids this

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Speaker 1: next upcoming school year who are going to lag behind.

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Speaker 1: That is a given they've missed three months of school

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Speaker 1: of instruction that they should have gotten to wrap up

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Speaker 1: the school year for whatever grade they're in, and where

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Speaker 1: you have to expect that they're going to lag behind

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Speaker 1: in some skills and that's that has to be a given.

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Speaker 1: I think all schools will do themselves a disservice if

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Speaker 1: they don't realize that. But the other thing is that

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Speaker 1: we have to keep in mind that for those other skills,

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Speaker 1: whether it's social development, cognitive skills, emotional skills, yes, because

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Speaker 1: they've been seeing people through a screen and they haven't interacted,

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Speaker 1: especially the younger ones, then there's gonna be some kids

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Speaker 1: who kind of get into a show, who are more

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Speaker 1: socially anxious, who are reluctant to engage, And that's where

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Speaker 1: we have to get creative. So social groups on zoom

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Speaker 1: or being able to engage in limited contact with other

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Speaker 1: peers that you feel safe to be around. But I

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Speaker 1: think we have to make sure we give them some

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Speaker 1: of those skills in a way that's creative, and then

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Speaker 1: also to realize that they'll catch up. Kids will catch

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Speaker 1: up if we provide a corrective emotional experience for them

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Speaker 1: and an environment that's nurturing. So I don't I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be so concerned too much about kids falling so way

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Speaker 1: behind that they can't catch up. I think they'll just

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Speaker 1: catch up on their own curve, kind of adapt as

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Speaker 1: they go, and they probably won't be exactly where they

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Speaker 1: would have been had this not all happened. But I

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Speaker 1: believe they'll follow their own growth and their own curve

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Speaker 1: should we give them those opportunities. Yeah, So, is there

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Speaker 1: a way to kind of monitor whether there's something that

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Speaker 1: you should be concerned about? Right, so, with the understanding

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Speaker 1: that there will likely be a little bit of leg once,

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Speaker 1: you know, if people go back to school in August,

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Speaker 1: But at what point would you say, like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: maybe we need to talk with someone, like are there

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Speaker 1: certain markers that you might be looking for, even with

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Speaker 1: the understanding that things might be a little slower immediately. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to be hearing from a lot of my

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Speaker 1: medical colleagues is that they're saying a lot of people

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Speaker 1: aren't taking their kids in for their well child because

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Speaker 1: it's check ups. And that's important because you're not going

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Speaker 1: to know if there's something going on with your child

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Speaker 1: if they're not seeing their pediatrician. So I think that's

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Speaker 1: going to be important in terms of gaining back some

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Speaker 1: level of I mean normalcy. I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: the words that we should even be using, but some

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Speaker 1: level of routine is making sure that you express those

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Speaker 1: concerns to your child's pediatrician. Those are the people that

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Speaker 1: know your child best and have followed them hopefully along

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Speaker 1: the way. And then if there's things that you're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know what, emotionally, socially, something's not right. I think

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Speaker 1: that this is not normal or I'm not sure if

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Speaker 1: it is normal or typical for my child, then to

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Speaker 1: be able to consult with the pediatrician and with a

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Speaker 1: mental health provider to just see you don't have to

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Speaker 1: see seek out a child psychologist or a child therapist

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Speaker 1: just to commit to months and months of therapy. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I might be just saying, hey, I want to make

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Speaker 1: sure that what my child is going through and what

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Speaker 1: we're going through is typical given their development and given

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Speaker 1: everything that's going on, and just check in. I've done

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Speaker 1: quite a few intakes with people in the past where

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Speaker 1: they come in and just say, hey, you know, my

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Speaker 1: teenager is you know, thirteens moody and doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: be around me. Is that normal? Yeah, there's nothing to

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Speaker 1: be concerned about with that, But then exploring more in

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Speaker 1: terms of what specifically is different that you're concerned about.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's an important thing to explore, just

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Speaker 1: to see and to make sure that if you have

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Speaker 1: if your mom gut is telling you something is off,

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Speaker 1: I would say listen to it. I would say listen

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Speaker 1: to it. Yeah, And I would imagine even as practitioners,

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Speaker 1: you know, like you said, there is guide book for

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Speaker 1: a pandemic, right, so even as practitioners, we are all

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Speaker 1: going to still be figuring out, like what there's a

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Speaker 1: new normal, like you said, not even sure to call

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Speaker 1: it that, We're gonna still be figuring all of that

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Speaker 1: out as well. Exactly exactly, because when I'm meeting with

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Speaker 1: people online and they're like, well, what should I do

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Speaker 1: if blank I'm just like, oh my gosh, um, so

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Speaker 1: I'm having I don't know, So I'm having to tap

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Speaker 1: into my schema, my frame of reference based on prior

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Speaker 1: training and experiences with trauma disruption in in normal everyday

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Speaker 1: living and figure out, Okay, given this, what would be

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Speaker 1: the best suggestion because we're kind of winging it in

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Speaker 1: a sense, right, We're all kind of making it up

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Speaker 1: because we don't know what to do in this situation,

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Speaker 1: but we do know what to do in situations that

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Speaker 1: have been similar, and I think that's where we tap

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Speaker 1: into that to understand that. Okay, we understand that when

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Speaker 1: you're under a significant deal of stress, there will be

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Speaker 1: higher conflict. That's a given, so this is no different.

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Speaker 1: So how do we do this? And then how do

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Speaker 1: we direct people in terms of gaining some sense of

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Speaker 1: um stability in their home life? Mm hmmm. So the

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Speaker 1: other big question that I think is on a lot

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Speaker 1: of parents minds is what happens in the fall? Right?

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Speaker 1: So I don't know that any school system, at least

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Speaker 1: not the ones here, have made any decisions about like

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Speaker 1: what happens in August when schools are supposed to open,

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Speaker 1: And so I know parents are thinking about are we

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Speaker 1: sending the kids back to school? Are we home schooling? Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just curious what kinds of conversations maybe have come

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Speaker 1: up with maybe some of the parents that you're working with. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is an excellent question, because nobody really knows, right.

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Speaker 1: I've heard some really brilliant actually solutions from colleges, however,

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Speaker 1: for across country. Where for colleges, for those who have

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Speaker 1: high schoolers who just graduated. Many colleges have proposed and

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Speaker 1: actually will implement where students go back to school late

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Speaker 1: August and they go straight through, no fall break, no

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Speaker 1: nothing until right before Thanksgiving, and then they dismiss students

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Speaker 1: from right before Thanksgiving through January. So that way they're

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Speaker 1: not traveling back and forth and bringing diseases everywhere. Although

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Speaker 1: students college students will still travel on weekend. So I'm

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Speaker 1: not quite sure how they're gonna do right, Like, it

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Speaker 1: sounds good in theory, So that's one solution that I've

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Speaker 1: heard across the board, across many different places. But yes,

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of the K through twelve systems

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Speaker 1: they don't really know what they're doing. And I have

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Speaker 1: heard from people that I've worked within California, for example,

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Speaker 1: where they're talking about putting up plexiglass in the front

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Speaker 1: of the classroom and teachers are to wear masks and

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Speaker 1: even full on ppe students six ft apart, not touching,

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Speaker 1: removing all the books and toys, no recess, no eating

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Speaker 1: in the lunch room. I don't think that's us A Lucian. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that seems really strange. It sounds and it sounds like

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Speaker 1: a disaster really waiting to happen. So the conversations I've

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Speaker 1: had personally and professionally with my clients is I've told

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Speaker 1: a lot of them who I see who are teachers.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think this is where there needs to

427
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: be a massive change in education, even temporarily, that if

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Speaker 1: you are a teacher, you are an education. There is

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Speaker 1: going to be an amazing opportunity for professionals and teaching

430
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 1: to offer services for parents who do not want to

431
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: homeschool their kids. Me included that was that was not

432
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: pretty good, right and to be able to offer those

433
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 1: services virtually or in person. I mean, I'm thinking like

434
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 1: little house on the prairie, like one cool house situation

435
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: where you offer services based on your knowledge base of teaching,

436
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: math or reading or classroom management, any of those things

437
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 1: that you're actually engaging students and helping parents that have

438
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: to go back to work. And there's gonna be a

439
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: lot of teachers who don't want to go back to

440
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 1: work as a teacher in that kind of environment, And

441
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: there's gonna be people who still need to have income

442
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 1: and still need to work, and there's gonna be parents

443
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: who need those services. So I honestly think just because

444
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: the pandemic is inconvenient doesn't mean it's over right, And

445
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 1: just because we say states and cities are open doesn't

446
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 1: mean the pandemic is over. And I think that it's

447
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: doing people as serious to service thinking of a false

448
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: sense of safety. And I think opening up our schools

449
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 1: in the fall is going to be a significant burden.

450
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: And I think that it's going to be a big

451
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: problem because we're putting a lot of our kids at risk.

452
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: Little kids and kids in general are not going to

453
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: not touch each other and at each other. So I

454
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: think it's gonna be a lot of thinking and talking

455
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: and exploring and really be able to work with our

456
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: school districts and schools about offering something that makes more

457
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: sense for parents while easing their mind. That's going to

458
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 1: be a hard decision. I'm personally exploring looking at bringing

459
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: in somebody and rather paying them to do that and

460
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 1: keeping myself, myself and my kids safe, because I think

461
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 1: that might be a better option. Yeah, I mean, and

462
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,479
Speaker 1: I've also heard of like groups of parents getting together

463
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: in these little paths, right and already looking for like

464
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 1: tutors or someone to kind of be able to teach

465
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 1: a smaller group of kids, maybe at the same location,

466
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: or maybe they rotate locations. So it sounds like people

467
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 1: are already getting really creative. Are there other things like

468
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 1: that that you've heard from parents? I've heard that what

469
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 1: you just said, I've heard the virtual stuff. I've heard

470
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: I think just uh teachers teaching kids in their home,

471
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 1: a combination of nannying as well as teaching. Those are

472
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: the majority of what I've heard from parents, because many

473
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: parents have to go back to work and many parents

474
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: don't want to homeschool. Yeah, that just didn't work for me.

475
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: And I'm actually and I can teach. I know how

476
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: to teach, but I don't know how to teach trick

477
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 1: of fourth grade, right, And it's your kids, right, So

478
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 1: it's it's differently dynamic. But you know, the funny thing

479
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: is that they loved it though. They were like, you know,

480
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 1: we'd like being at home. And I'm like, yeah, but

481
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a permanent solution. Guys

482
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 1: like this, I don't know, Like I can't teach science

483
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 1: and math like that's not uh so even being able

484
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: to teach have parents teach certain subjects that they're comfortable with,

485
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: but some of the other ones that you're just like,

486
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: there's no way I can do this, being able to

487
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: have someone who can do that one on one. But

488
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have to be very creative because

489
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: I think a lot of this masking up and separating

490
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: kids and no social interaction that's not a good solution.

491
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: That's gonna cause more social anxiety than kids already have. Yeah. Yeah,

492
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: And I like, you have heard some of those same

493
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: suggestions right of plexiglass, and I had not heard of

494
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: teachers in full ppe. But I guess if you're going

495
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: with the plexiglass, it makes sense, right, But I've not

496
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: heard any other suggestions about what it would look like

497
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: if schools open up again. Yeah, I haven't either, And

498
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: especially because we're hearing all this new information about Yes,

499
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 1: kids can get COVID, it just differently, right, And it's like,

500
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: why are we even taking that chance, you know when

501
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 1: we think about historically pandemics last two to four years unfortunately, Right,

502
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: So this is I don't want to be scary about

503
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: it and anxiety provoking, but we have to be honest

504
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: about it that it's it's an inconvenient situation and our

505
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 1: lives have to move on, but we have to do

506
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: it safely. Yeah, But I'm also aware Dr Lockhard, that

507
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 1: a lot of people might not have a choice, right,

508
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, So I mean, of course you and I

509
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 1: have the privilege of like being able to practice from

510
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: home or you know, on a much more limited basis,

511
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: But because businesses and things are opening up, there will

512
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: be a lot of parents who will not be we

513
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: have that option of whether they have to go back

514
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: to work. You're exactly right, You're exactly right. And for us,

515
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: my husband is a professor at a college and psychologists

516
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: of course, and so although we were able to teach

517
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: and do therapy from home, the challenge was we were

518
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: teaching and doing therapy from home. So while I'm seeing

519
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 1: clients and while he's teaching the kids were kind of

520
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: you know, of course at a fourth and second grade

521
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: or so, they can do some of the stuff on

522
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: their own, but I was literally having to then on

523
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: my breaks teach them and then go back to work.

524
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, I'm glad I have the opportunity

525
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: and the privilege to be able to balance it, but

526
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: at the same time, I was exhausted, Like I'm like,

527
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: this is not gonna work. M hmm. Yeah. So for

528
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: those so you know, let's say schools do open and

529
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: maybe you have to go back to work because you

530
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: work at a place that no longer allows the flexibility

531
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: of working from home or there things that you can

532
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 1: consider in terms of keeping yourself safe and your kids safe. Yeah,

533
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: I mean, I think being able to ask the school

534
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: what they're doing, find out what your workplace is doing,

535
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: what measures they're taking, I mean, and just really having

536
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 1: honest conversations about it. And then I mean, really, if

537
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: it comes to that and you have to be able

538
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,479
Speaker 1: to go back to work, which many of us do,

539
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: and the kids have to go to school, it's just

540
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: really having a conversation with your school, your individual school

541
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: to school districts and being able to say, okay, how

542
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: can we keep our kids safe? How can we do

543
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: this so that we can move forward in a way

544
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: that everybody feels comfortable. But it has to be an

545
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: open and honest conversation throughout the summer, because I mean,

546
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: like we've seen week by week things are changing, right,

547
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: and so so many things can change between now and

548
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: the time that everything starts to open back up. Yeah,

549
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: you're right. I mean it's like some of those conversations

550
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: should be happening now. Um, And I'm not, at least

551
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: in our school districts seeing any conversation around like, okay,

552
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: let's put our hands together and see what this might

553
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: look like. Yeah, I haven't either. Yeah. Yeah, So it

554
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: feels like it will be the kind of thing where

555
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: they maybe make a decision really close to whether school

556
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: will open or not. I'm just not sure like what

557
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: kinds of things people are even considering well, and I

558
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: think and it's scary and it's confusing because again we

559
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: don't have anything to compare it to, and we want

560
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: to put our parents at ease, but at the same time,

561
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: like what does that look like? What does that mean?

562
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: And it's just so that everybody can be in a

563
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: place where kids can learn, kids can be kids. It's

564
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: just it's hard. These are hard conversations, but they need

565
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: to be had. So even if the solutions seem so

566
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: far fetched, it's at least we're brainstorming and coming up

567
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 1: with something to decide on. But we can't do it

568
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: last minute. That's not the that's not the way right right, Yeah, absolutely,

569
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: And so I'm wondering that a lot of card if

570
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: you have suggestions, you know, like you mentioned all a

571
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: lot of the things that we were able to do,

572
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: like our retail therapy and being able to kind of

573
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: get out, but some of that is still very restricted,

574
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: or like you and I have both mentioned, we're still

575
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: kind of choosing not to engage in some of those things.

576
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: So are there other suggestions you for people of ways

577
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: they can continue to work on regulating their own emotions,

578
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: their own feelings so that they again can continue to

579
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: help regulate for their children. Yes, definitely. So if you

580
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: are able to take breaks for yourself away from your kids,

581
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: I think that's important to have that alone time because

582
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: you're everybody's cooped up. If you're one of those like

583
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: us who are cooped up in your house and you're

584
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: choosing to still stay or you or you don't have

585
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: the choice to stay, to be able to find that

586
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: time alone by yourself and make that plain to the

587
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: people in your home to say, you know what, I

588
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 1: need some time to myself, or actually leave the house

589
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: and spend time to your with yourself, so being able

590
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: to do things separately and take that break. Because again,

591
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: that over stimulation of always hearing your kids, always being

592
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: around your partner, your spouse, always being in the same

593
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: environment that gets exhausting after a while. So that alone

594
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: time is important. Finding ways of engaging in previously enjoyed

595
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: hobbies and activities in a way that's maybe a little

596
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: bit different and newer for you, and doing it anyway.

597
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 1: So maybe I can't go to the store, like I

598
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: actually tried to go to the store last week, and

599
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: I didn't enjoy it at all, so um because I

600
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: had to wear my mask and then everybody was like

601
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: they didn't want to look at you, so then they

602
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: were awaiting you in the store, and then I couldn't

603
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: try on stuff. I didn't really want to try on stuff,

604
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: so I was like, okay, and then I bought the

605
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: clothes and they didn't fit. Because I actually gained some

606
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: weight during quarantine. So then I have to take it

607
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: back and I'm like, great, now i gotta go back.

608
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just gonna shop online. So I will

609
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: do that so again instead of going to the store,

610
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: maybe just shopping online. Or my husband and I have

611
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: found some um YouTubers who have been teaching us how

612
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: to make new things in an insta pot. So we

613
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: actually bought an instapot and we've been making new recipes.

614
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: And then last week or two weeks ago, we made

615
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 1: homemade ice cream for the first time. Yeah, you creative.

616
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: I mean, you gotta be mad, I mean, and it

617
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: was amazing. We made the homemade banana ice cream and

618
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: you know, so stuff like that was just cool because

619
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: that's something we never would have done or would have

620
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: made the time to do. Right. So that's what I'm

621
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: talking about, is like finding new ways, Like he likes

622
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: to cook and I like to bake, and so doing

623
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: things like that that's different, that's unique, and finding new

624
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: ways of doing it. And even with the kids, like

625
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: finding new things to do with them that are different.

626
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: Um where it doesn't really allow you to maybe you

627
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: can't do the same things, but you're doing in a

628
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: slightly different way. So my kids like will do more

629
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: getting some lego pieces and uh sets and building them

630
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 1: together and then doing like a like a competition. Or

631
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: we've been looking at artists online who have done our

632
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 1: drawing tutorials and we've been learning how to draw from

633
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: the tutorials, like people who never would have done this before.

634
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: Getting together with friends on play dates over zoom. We've

635
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: done a weekly Sunday service with our entire family, like

636
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: fifteen of us on zoom. M hm. So just things

637
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 1: like that so that we feel less disconnected and we

638
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: can find ways, because again, our family would never have

639
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: done that had it not been for this this time,

640
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: right right, Yeah, And I do think that that is

641
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 1: a part of you know, kind of making lemonade out

642
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,280
Speaker 1: of limits so to speak. Um, is that it has

643
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: slowed things down a little bit so that you know,

644
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: we have been able to do things like ride bikes

645
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: around the neighborhood when we would not have done that before, right,

646
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 1: Or we're having picnics in our driveway, you know, so

647
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: still finding ways. I think the sunshine is really good too, um,

648
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 1: you know, be having opportunities to go outside as much

649
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 1: as possible. I think has really helped us. Yeah, definitely.

650
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: And you know, one thing that we've been doing which

651
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,919
Speaker 1: kind of works is that because most of the people

652
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 1: in my office, my associates, we are doing virtual services.

653
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: On Monday, my family, my husband, and my kids come

654
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 1: with me to the office and my kids take different

655
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: offices and they pretend like like it's their office and

656
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: they'll like they'll do things, and we have like kind

657
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: of a loose schedule and then and then I'll see

658
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: clients all day virtually, and then they stay home with

659
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: my husband on Tuesdays and Wednesdays since he's off for

660
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 1: the summer, and then on Thursday, I work from home.

661
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 1: So at least it gives me time like away from

662
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: them what I'm on Tuesday and Wednesday, but then it

663
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: gives them time to be somewhere else besides being at home.

664
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,240
Speaker 1: M m. Yeah, So kind of breaking up their monotony,

665
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: like you talked about before, that is the monotony. Breaking

666
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 1: that up that is so important. I can't emphasize it enough.

667
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: You've got to do something different. It'll it'll it'll affect you.

668
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: It affect your mental health and your physical health. You've

669
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 1: got to break it up. Yeah. Yeah, So the other

670
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: thing that, of course, as if dealing with COVID nineteen

671
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: has not been enough, right, we are continuing to have

672
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 1: to deal with police brutality and continuing acts of racism,

673
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: and so again for our kids, who, depending on their age,

674
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 1: may understand what's happening and may not understand what's happening,

675
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: I feel like this is an additional stressor So what

676
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: kind of the things maybe do you have to offer

677
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 1: its appearance about maybe how to talk to kids about this,

678
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: how to help them understand what's happening. Yeah, that's a

679
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 1: great question. I've been having so many of these conversations

680
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: and it's important to continue. Um. The first thing is

681
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: that I think if you have kids, usually I'm thinking

682
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 1: about ten or eleven or younger, is that they really

683
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,879
Speaker 1: should not be My professional opinion is that your young

684
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: kids should not be exposed to the day to day

685
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,720
Speaker 1: news stuff. They don't need to know every time another

686
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,959
Speaker 1: black person has been killed. They don't need to know that.

687
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 1: That builds more anxiety. And because kids are so concrete

688
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: and literal and they're thinking, they're thinking, oh, that could

689
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: mean I'm unsafe, And we don't need to breed more

690
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: anxiety by feeding them these messages every day. When the

691
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: kids are a little bit older, eleven and over, of course,

692
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: they're going to be exposed to that. They're going to

693
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: hear about it, They're gonna see that, and that's when

694
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: we have to have these honest conversations about how they

695
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 1: feel about it, talking to them about systemic issues going

696
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: on with racism, talking to them about all these different things,

697
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: not because we want them to hate white people. We

698
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: don't want them to have that viewpoint, but to look

699
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: at why these things are happening, why these things continue

700
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: to occur, and then helping them have a voice. What

701
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 1: do they want to do about it? If anything? Do

702
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: they want to educate themselves? Do they want to find

703
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: a way to be an advocate for themselves? Do they

704
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: want to educate other people or themselves? Like what? How

705
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: do they want to feel empowered by having this information?

706
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: In this knowledge? And I think also as a parent,

707
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: being able to take an honest look at ourselves about

708
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 1: how we feel about it, because they're going to pick

709
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 1: up on our feelings about it, all the tension that's

710
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: going on, and be able to see how we are

711
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: dealing with it. When we hear about all these things

712
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: so I think having that honest, transparent, open conversation with

713
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: them because if we try to keep it from them

714
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: and hide how we feel, then they're going to pick

715
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: up on it. Now for the little ones who aren't

716
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: seeing the day to day kind of new stuff, which

717
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: I I my kids are hearing about all the day

718
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 1: to day new stuff, but we do have open, honest

719
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: conversations about race and racism and our history and all

720
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: those different things so that they can explore that and

721
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: talk about those kinds of things, because that is important

722
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: for them to be aware of that. So, yeah, that's

723
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: that's a tough thing because like there's just one more

724
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: stressor that we have to deal with, let's right in

725
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: our faces right now. M Yeah, and I think I'm sure,

726
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: Well I'm not sure, but I would imagine you heard

727
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: about the sesame Street town Hall. Yes, did you get

728
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: a chance to watch it? I didn't get a chance

729
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: to watch it. I heard a little bit about it. Yeah, yeah,

730
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: I mean so there was some upset that I thought

731
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 1: that could have been a little better. But what I

732
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 1: did really appreciate was the conversation between Elmo and his dad.

733
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: So if you can't watch all of it, then definitely

734
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: check out that piece. I will, because he was talking

735
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: about like what are protesters and what does this mean?

736
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: And you know that kind of thing, and I thought

737
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,280
Speaker 1: that they did a really good job of like really

738
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: explaining that in a way that even small children could understand.

739
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, So, I mean, so I'm glad

740
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: that there or resources like that. But I'm also thinking

741
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 1: about what happens if schools do open in the fall, right,

742
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't expect that a lot of

743
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: this protesting and stuff will be done, of course, because

744
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 1: it feels like we're always fighting. I'm fighting for our rights, right,

745
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: And so I'm just wondering again, as schools are thinking

746
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: about like how to even open safely if they are

747
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: open in the fall, then what are the conversations around

748
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: racism and how we know many schools even practice some

749
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 1: of these same racist tactics. Oh yes, So one thing

750
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,879
Speaker 1: I feel strongly about, and myself, as well as many

751
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: other parents I spoke to, have seen is that because

752
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: we were schooling our kids at home, we were getting

753
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: a big glimpse into what they're actually learning. And although

754
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: I knew what my child was learning in terms of

755
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: the basics. I didn't really fully understand the depths of

756
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: what she was learning in terms of history, social studies.

757
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: That was what I wasn't getting because a lot out

758
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,399
Speaker 1: of the learning was occurring in school, but it wasn't

759
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: coming home. So when I was reading a lot of

760
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 1: the books that she was reading, I was like, wait,

761
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: hold up, what slavery wasn't all that bad because many

762
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: of them were treated well by their masters. WHOA no. No.

763
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, sweetheart, we're gonna break this down,

764
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: like like really really old bleached history. And it was

765
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: amazing to me. I mean, I was beyond words. So

766
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: I think what needs to happen is that we need

767
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 1: to advocate for the proper type of education to be

768
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 1: taught to our kids, just our black kids, if all kids,

769
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,240
Speaker 1: my kids should not be taught that black history is slavery.

770
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: Martin Luther King and Obama like, that's not black history.

771
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 1: And so to be able to give a books that

772
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: they read that can we have a more diverse group

773
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: of authors and storylines. I think that's going to be

774
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: really important because the images and the literature and the

775
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: art that kids are seeing that is super important because

776
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: that's what they based their stereotypes and images off of

777
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: so I that's a huge goal. I totally get it.

778
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 1: I understand because many schools aren't going to do that,

779
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: and they're not gonna want to do that, but we

780
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: need to pressure them to do that. And I think,

781
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: especially now, why I feel exhausted but hopeful about what's

782
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: going on right now is that finally people are seeing

783
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,439
Speaker 1: they weren't seeing before. And I have so many white

784
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: friends who approached me and said, I just didn't know.

785
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: I didn't know it was this bad. And at first

786
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: I'm just like, how did you not know? How is

787
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 1: that even possible? How is it possible? But you know,

788
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: but again, if you never are in environments and communities

789
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: where there are black people, except if they're homeless and poor,

790
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: and you are in a white school, a white neighborhood community,

791
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: a white church, why would you ever need to know?

792
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: That's the privilege. And that's where explaining to them, It's like,

793
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: that is your privilege. You don't have to know, just

794
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: like our privilege is that we don't have to worry

795
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 1: too much about, you know, whether or not we balance

796
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 1: homeschooling and working because we can work from home. That's

797
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: a privilege. And so if you don't need to know

798
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 1: about the ugliness of racism because you just were never

799
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: inconvenienced by it, then that's a privilege. And so I

800
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: think that's where we have to really educate people on

801
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 1: an individual and in the school system. Now, we got

802
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: to shake things up. Things need to change, and we

803
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: have to start educating our kids with the right stuff,

804
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: the books and the curriculum that are more inclusive and

805
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: that are accurate. Yeah, I think that that is something

806
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 1: else that has come from, you know, us trying to

807
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: educate our kids at home is like you're saying, we're

808
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: more aware maybe of what kinds of things they're learning.

809
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: And I think because of some of those reasons, right,

810
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,240
Speaker 1: because we feel like there is such a deficit related

811
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: to what kinds of history they're being taught in, what

812
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 1: kinds of stories they being exposed to. I think that

813
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: that's another reason why people are exploring these more creative

814
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: learning environments to make sure that kids do get a

815
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: variety of messages like that. Yep, exactly exactly what we're

816
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: taking ownership of it that we're not just passively setting

817
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: our kids and having them be taught whatever is being

818
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: taught no and there needs to be a more active

819
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: role in this. Yeah, yeah, got it. So Dr Lockhart,

820
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 1: where can we find you? Where can we find you online?

821
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 1: As well as any social media handles that you'd like

822
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: to share? Yeah, definitely. So. You can find me on

823
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: my website at a New Day s a as in

824
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: San Antonio dot com. And you can also find me.

825
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm very active on Instagram at Dr Anna Louise Lockharts

826
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: and that's probably the major parts and areas where you

827
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 1: can find me the most. And I have lots of

828
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: resources there and things that I post and other collaborations

829
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: that I do with other individuals as well. Sounds great, well,

830
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: we of course will share all of that in our

831
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 1: show notes. And just thank you so much again, Dr Lockhart.

832
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: You have answered lots of questions for me personally. Um

833
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: so I am sure that our listeners and our community

834
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: members will also benefit from this information. Thank you, Dr Joy.

835
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate the opportunity. I'm so glad Dr Lockhart was

836
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: able to join us again this week. Don't forget to

837
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 1: visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot

838
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 1: com slash Session one to learn more about Dr Lockhart

839
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: and her incredible resources for parents. Please share your takeaways

840
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag tv G

841
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: and session, and be sure to share this episode with

842
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: the other parents in your life. If you're looking for

843
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to check out

844
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

845
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into

846
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: this topic and connect with some other sisters in your area,

847
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective,

848
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 1: where we take a deeper dive into the topics from

849
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: the podcast and just about everything else. You can join

850
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: and us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash

851
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 1: y c C. Thank you all so much for joining

852
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: me again this week. I look forward to continue in

853
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care.