WEBVTT - Reckless Replay: Double the Trouble 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.199 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:16.640 and The Black Effect and just like that, be back 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:19.080 on the air. Welcome back to yet another Canfully Reckless 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:20.120 episode with your girl Jess. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:20.560 Hilarious. 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:22.680 So I'm fixing mess. Fixing mess is what I do. 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.119 I also do it on the Breakfast Club as well. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.600 On B E T. Nine Am. 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:30.080 Make sure y'all catch that whenever I'm there, which is 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.200 more than likely almost all the time. 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:33.680 All Right, we're gonna jump straight in. 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:36.600 I'm gonna tell some stories that I got from fixing 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:41.320 people's mess on Breakfast Club, one that I actually was 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:42.240 pissed off about. 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.440 And it's rabbit quick, So I'm just gonna jump straight 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:44.800 in with that. 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:49.840 So this woman calls up Ray and she has a boyfriend, okay, 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.080 but she's upset because he's married. 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:57.520 I'm pissed off about it. My boyfriend is married, star duh. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:59.960 And I know I had to do my own sound effect, 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.720 but duh, someone what should I do? 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:04.000 So this is the thing. 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.000 She met her man in jail. Right, of course, he 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:09.000 sold her dreams of what they were gonna be when he. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:11.120 Got out of jail. When he got out of jail, 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:13.000 he went to get engaged. 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:17.039 To someone else, right, And not only did he get engaged, 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:21.200 he actually jumped that broom. He got married and then 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:23.480 went to go find the girlfriend. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:23.960 Right. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.440 So when she found out about the wife, she didn't leave. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:31.640 She tells me she mad at the wife for not 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:36.240 holding her man down. How you not mad at your 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.240 boyfriend because he's somebody else's husband, but she mad at 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:44.560 his wife for not holding her husband down who just 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:45.280 happens to. 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:46.440 Be your boyfriend? 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.560 And then another fucked up thing about it is, you're 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:50.880 mad at this man's wife. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.800 But he got married when he came home, he wasn't 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:57.040 already married. So you were never first. You were always 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.280 second and was always gonna be second. And you're asking 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:01.200 me what you should do. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.120 What you should do is get some fucking dignity, wake 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.600 up and go find you your own fucking man. Because 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.120 he's not yours, he will never be yours. You've already 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.680 allowed too much. You think a man actually wants to 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:19.160 be with someone who was okay with them cheating on 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:23.640 their wives, or was okay with being second anyway, you 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.880 think you'll ever deserve in his eyes to be number one. 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:30.560 These men only do to us what we allow mentally, 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.799 you know what I'm saying. And then some women are 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.960 not as strong minded as others. But I just couldn't 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:41.519 understand like she had some nerve, she was upset. Oh 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.840 she wouldn't hold him down, And I just felt like 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.600 that's crazy, Like how could you not hold him down 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:48.600 because he wasn't married to a yet? 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.520 Right? You was holding him down? Did you get a ring? 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:55.160 You have to realize who you are, what you are, 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:57.440 what you want, what you're gonna take, what you ain't 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:01.440 gonna take, and realize the consequence instance of your actions 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.919 are because of what you allowed or what you did. 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.440 So the consequence is you always gonna be the side bitch. 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:08.880 I'm sorry, that's what it is. Get back to me 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:10.680 if you can. I know she's gonna be calling up 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:12.720 after she had a shit like I ain't tell you 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:16.200 going there and say, Audi, well you made yourself look 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:19.480 dumber on a huger platform, a bigger player. She said, 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:23.040 it's on be et, crazy ass. But I hope she 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.960 gets the help that she needs, because lord, she's delusional. 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.760 All right, moving on, We got a voice note y'all, 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.359 y'all know how I feel about these there. 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:33.400 We go hi Ja. 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:37.000 So before, sir, I'm just gonna give you a little 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:40.720 background about myself before I ask you the original question 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.000 that I have for you. So, I am twenty one 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:48.400 years old, born and raised in Minnesota. I'm currently worked 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:51.440 at three jobs. Also want to school for nail technician. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.880 I have no kids, I am single. I have my 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:59.560 own car and apartment that I share with my sister. Okay, 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.320 the question I have to ask you is, I don't 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:06.960 know if anybody else is having this problem, but from 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:10.680 my early twenties, I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.520 I feel like I truly can't find myself. I don't 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:15.640 know what direction I want to go in. I'm trying 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.120 to find love, I'm trying to lose weight, I'm trying 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:19.160 to achieve goals. 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:20.080 I just feel like. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:23.240 I'm everywhere right now, and it's to the point where 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:27.120 it's giving me overwhelmed and depressed and drained and feeling 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:29.359 like I'm behind in a way. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:30.320 Wow. 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:33.560 Like, for example, when I was in school, I was 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.480 way smaller than what I am now, so I've gained 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:39.600 a little bit more weight. So I just been feeling like, 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.800 you know, I just don't look as prettier as everybody else. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.479 And of course I feel like social media for me, 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.280 it takes a part of that. So I have took 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:51.320 a break from that to help a little bit. Another 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:53.359 example is with love. 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:54.400 I'm such a. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.360 Freaking lover girl, like I love love, but. 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.240 The relationship is just not going well for me, the 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:03.800 dating era, all that stuff like, it's just not going 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:05.560 well for me. Even if I want, like a little 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.840 sneakily like it never works out. And then with my school, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.560 and I've been in school for a two years trying 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:14.040 to get my nail license. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:14.800 Because I'm just like stick. 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:17.320 Dis harder for me to pass the quizzes and it's 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.760 been taking me longer. But everybody else is an entrepreneur 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:22.720 at my age, so I just feel like I'm just 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:24.640 way behind all the things I need to do. 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:26.839 So just give me some clarity to help me. 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:30.400 Just thanks love you, heyy First of all, I love 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:30.760 you too. 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:33.120 Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open up to 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:34.960 me about that, because you know what you do. You 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:39.360 open up the floor for other younger females, younger women 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:43.320 to feel like they're not alone in this, you know, 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.440 because y'all generation are going through some shit. 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.039 Too. Of course, a lot of identity crisis going on. 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:52.320 Of course, when you have media constantly shoving in your face, 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:55.720 you can change who you are. You can change any 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:59.440 part of your body now and everybody has access to 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:03.840 these surgeons and just you know, all types of things 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.680 that can help you rid of your flaws. You know, 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:11.719 But I think it's internal for you. You did say 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.479 exactly what I was going to tell you. Social media 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.000 will play a big part in this and how the 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:22.880 media constantly tries to manipulate our minds with just certain 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.440 standards that we're supposed to follow, like you know. And 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.280 then influencers that I thank God for them because I 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.560 started off as one, but I say their work would 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.440 be a gift in accurse because they open up your 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.720 eyes to seeing I can own my own business, I 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.960 can own something. I can be a young black creator. 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.400 I don't have to work for nobody for the rest 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:45.960 of my life. I am in a position where I 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:48.440 can run my own business. At the same time, what 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:52.559 it does is it shows another side where it makes 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:56.520 working a nine to five or being who you really 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:59.280 are off of social media, it looks uncool, It makes 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:02.719 you uncol What makes you feel that you're not enough, 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:07.159 and I really don't agree with anybody having to feel 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:11.040 that way. Oh man, I'm very conflicted about your situation 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:13.160 just because I don't want you to ever feel like 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:14.360 because you are. 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:15.640 You know, you consider yourself a. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.520 Little overweight or a lot overweight, whatever, you know, whether 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.920 you're obese, fat, you know, it's levels to it. But 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.880 however you feel about it, you still shouldn't let that 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:27.600 depict how you go on in your love life. And 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.920 then also listening you're twenty one, you're still trying to 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:33.040 figure out you. I wouldn't be asking for love right now. 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.000 I'm not gonna say you don't know what love is. 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:36.000 I would never say that. 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.280 I wouldn't even say that to an eighteen year old 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.360 because what love is to you maybe different for what 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.200 love is to me. Love has no one fucking meaning, 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.480 you know what I mean, So it goes by experience 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:50.480 of what you feel. But I will say, you have 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.880 a lot going on, so you can't focus on one thing. 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.240 You know what I'm saying, You can't focus on love 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.120 right now because you also told me in the same 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.239 breath you're trying to figure out who you are. There's 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:03.640 no way that you could be ready for a relationship 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:05.720 and you don't know who you are. So what I 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.880 think is that you love the idea of love. You know, 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:11.200 you love what it looks like. You know, you love 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:13.760 what it can be. You love all the possibilities. You 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:18.920 love what you see visually, what looks good visually to you, 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:22.680 and then you probably see a lot of relationship goals too, 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:23.480 you know what I'm saying. 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:24.600 And that's good. 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:26.560 You took a break from social media. I actually have 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:28.320 family members that have. 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:28.760 To do that. 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.520 I have friends that have to do that. I know 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:33.640 other influencers that have to do that. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:34.360 I do that. 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.160 We need breaks, you know, because you could kind of 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.680 like feel like Instagram is the world and it's not, 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:45.040 and you're constantly reminded when you exit out the ad. Damn, 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.559 that's just one part. That's social media, you know what 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:50.320 I mean. It takes over our lives and it plays 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:53.920 a big part in our confidence, you know. So I 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:56.120 think you should do a lot more soul searching. You 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.559 probably will not be in a relationship until you hit thirty. 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:00.080 That don't need to scare you, that just needs to 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.880 motivate you, you know, stay on your path and figure 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:04.200 out what you're doing with your life. 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.120 Girl, You ain't got no kids. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.719 You work three jobs and you're going to school to 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.320 be a fucking nail tech and you fucking worried about 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:10.840 some lift. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.920 You got three jobs? Girl, how the fuck you gonna 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:14.800 spend time with? 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:15.200 Girl? 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.559 Listen, A man is a job too. A boyfriend is 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:20.839 a job, just like we jobs too, you know what 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.440 I'm saying. So that's four jobs. 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.760 Thank god. You ain't got no damn kids. But you 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.000 know what men do. They give you kids. 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.360 So your little twenty one year old, but need to 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.200 stay on this arrow that you're on, Stay on this 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:34.000 path that you're on. 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:36.360 Don't worry so much about it. And I'm looking at 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.800 your picture. You are beautiful, all right. It is only 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:40.640 from your head to the top of your. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.079 Get chests, but you're beautiful. You're beautiful, probably inside and out. 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:45.400 I don't know you. I haven't met you, but you 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:49.120 sound really concerned about nobody loving you. Girl. Fuck that. 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.920 You gotta love yourself because when you learn how to 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:56.079 love yourself, and I mean the railway because people hear 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:57.800 this all the time. Oh you gotta love yourself up. 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.400 People say this to people all the time, and they 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:01.600 take it the wrong. You gotta love yourself. You gotta 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.000 love yourself or I do love myself. Like nah, people 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:07.640 get more defensive after hearing that than just actually listening. No, 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:09.560 do you really know what it takes to love yourself, 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.240 because that's probably why your relationships fail. 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:13.840 You said, you're even just a sneaky link. 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.080 I'm no, you know, even if you want some dick, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.760 just sometimes sometimes maybe that's not what you need. Maybe 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.120 shit fails for a reason. Start looking at it differently. 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.920 That's not in your timing right now, you know what 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.040 I'm saying. So yeah, like I said, just do some 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.200 more searching for who you are. You know, you're at 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.800 the best time right now. And then you also at 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:34.480 the best time to lose some more weight if that's 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.000 what you want to do. Shit, if you want to 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:38.280 lose more weight, go do that. If you feel like 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:40.880 that's why you ain't getting no no men, lose some 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:45.320 more and then see, and I guarantee you you'll find 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:46.800 it wasn't even your weight. 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:48.920 It probably is your mind. 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.560 It probably is the fact that you, like I said, 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:53.480 you don't even know what you want out of a relationship. 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.200 You love the idea of love, but I do hope 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.040 everything works out for you and you do get everything 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.439 that you want in life. 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:03.120 Make sure you follow up and update me, keep me posted. 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:03.800 Thank you. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.280 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:12.480 then we'll be right back moving on. Last story. Oh 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.880 my god, I got all the babies today. Hey Joss, 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.040 I'm nineteen and I'm talking to this guy and I 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:20.040 have intimacy issues. It's hard for me to open up. 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.120 I've never been in a relationship before, so this part 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.880 of intimacy is new and hard. It's hard to talk 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.280 about my feelings. I had a lot of trauma, so 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.880 I don't want it to change our dynamic. The guy 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:33.080 is amazing. I don't want him to think he is 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.600 a problem. My question is do you think I'm ready 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.080 for a relationship or should I just continue to explore 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.800 being alone for a bit longer. By the way, you 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.840 can use this for the podcast in case you want consent. 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:46.760 Oh that's nice, thank you all. Was gonna use it anyway. 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:47.000 Girl. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:49.600 I don't know your name, so that's good and can't 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.240 bite see your face, but no, I appreciate you for 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:55.920 reaching out and I'm happy that A lot of a 0:11:55.920 --> 0:12:00.199 lot more younger people are reaching out because this younger generation, 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.440 they are facing a lot, you know, and they're seeing 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.280 a lot, and they are much more. 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.760 Exposed to a lot of shit too than we. 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.319 Ever were that I that I ever was at nineteen, 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.600 you know, so they could really be the main ones 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.720 that need some mental tending to. 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:17.880 You know. It's a lot, a lot of shit that 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:18.920 these babies are seeing. 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.160 But yeah, to get into what you have going on, 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.360 you've never been in a relationship before, so you don't 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.160 really know what it takes. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.880 I understand. You got to think about it, though, every. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.200 Person on this earth has been in that situation. Everybody 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.120 ain't born with boyfriends. Everybody has to have has to 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:36.560 jump in it some type of way. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:36.880 You know. 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:39.840 Every guy ain't born with no girlfriend. You know, everybody 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.760 has to jump into us some type of way. You 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.560 don't like talking about your feelings. You feel like that 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.840 will hinder you from a healthy relationship. I think you 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:47.920 need to dig deeper and figure out where that comes from. 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.640 You know, doesn't have anything to do with your upbringing 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.920 with people that you grew up with. You constantly seeing 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.920 things because I know you said you had trauma, you know, 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.760 but you didn't go into depth about the trauma, and 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:00.400 that's it's okay. 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:01.720 I'm glad that you even you. 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.480 Know, we don't have to so obviously you know, I 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.439 just don't know what the trauma is from. It could 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:10.120 it could be something more recent, it could be deeply rooted, 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.960 but that's probably, you know, more than likely where it 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.560 comes from. And I understand you said, this guy is amazing, 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.160 he's understanding. You don't want him to think he's the problem. No, 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:22.640 you don't. You don't because then in restrospect, that's not 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.920 fair to him. But no, I don't think that you're 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.840 ready for a relationship. I think you should start some counseling, 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.520 or you should start some therapy. It's nothing wrong with it. 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.240 You see that you do have issues that you want 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.560 to move past. You do see that, and that's good 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.440 that you see that. A lot of people's fear of 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.800 therapy is because they don't want to open up. They 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.480 don't even want to go talk to somebody. But this 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.760 first step for you, you come in to me. I think 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.480 that's amazing. I do think that you should seek further therapy. 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.760 Because I'm not a licensed professional, I can only give 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.199 you good advice. Figure yourself out. Then you also still nineteen. 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:58.880 I'm gonna tell you, like I told her the last baby, girl, 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.480 you're nineteen. See more years til you hit twenty one, 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.800 But in my eyes, you're still a baby. I got 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.240 a little sister that's nineteen, you know, and I just 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:10.040 watching her navigate through her social life. You know, it's 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.200 way different than mine was. You know, when I was nineteen, 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.160 we weren't doing something. The first of all, y'all even 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.520 look already, and y'all need to look nineteen. Now y'all 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.440 starting to look like. Y'all already got bbls and shit. 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:24.960 You know what I mean. 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.400 And y'all bodies just all just full figure like that, 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.800 y'all developing more, y'all just exposed to everything. 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:32.520 I don't know. 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:35.080 So I do think that you just need to explore 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.640 just being alone for a bit longer. And you already 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:39.920 knew that. You just needed to clarity, and I'm here 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.800 to give it to you, girls, So keep me updated, 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.600 let me know what's going on. Yeah, don't mess that 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.400 man up. Girls, that's one good one obviously. Don't mess 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.360 them up. Just fix yourself and go back and get them. 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.040 Hold up, Hold up, I know the shit getting good, 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.360 but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:56.520 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.000 So this last mess, I'm a fix this in person 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.000 and somebody actually came into the studio and you know 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.080 this is I'm I'm trying this out because in fourth season, 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.480 I may bring this to video. You know, I know 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.800 we have Catholic reckless audio, but for those who want 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:15.320 to see, I may just do it. I don't know. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:18.040 I'm raising right now. It's gonna be my first in 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.640 person mass effix, so we'll see. 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:21.320 Let's see. 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:27.280 Hey, Jazz, So I have been a long term situationship 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:30.000 and I just need some advice on something that I 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.600 really you know, have been worried about for it. And 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:35.320 this is because of my own personal growth. 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:39.880 So I'm in my relationship, I'm the more communicated person 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:43.200 and the other person is a person who needs time 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.080 to walk away. Right, That's the thing, Like I need, 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:47.440 I need to get some space clear my mind. And 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:51.040 that's it's understandable, you know that people some people can't 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:52.920 just get to the bottom of it real quick. They 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.680 need a time to see what they're going through. But 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.040 it's like when does it get like Okay. Now this 0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:59.960 is getting played out because if you think about it, 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.800 the number one answer that older people will have successful relationships. 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.680 Say is what communicating beyond? 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.680 Like that's like the number one thing everybody say, because 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:10.800 you have to find a way to really find that 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.200 balance to communicate. Right, And it's like, well, thank god, 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.360 both of us is not like that. I can't that's 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:19.320 avoid it. But one person is begging to communicating, other 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.800 person's not. So then that means that it has to 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:25.440 be more of an aggressive like exit, which is, oh, 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.000 I'm gonna hang out, I'm gonna block you or some 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.000 shit like that. Right, It's not like because I'm gonna 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.720 be like no, I want to talk and it's like, nah, 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:34.560 completely block you out, and you could be literally like 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.680 sending messages like just talk to me. It's okay, it's fine, 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:39.400 let's just get this Like it's not that big of 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.960 a deal. And you don't hear from them, So it's like, 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:43.520 how do you deal with that going forward? 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.480 Yeah, that's actually a really really good one because I 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:51.440 can see how both could feel. You know, I feel 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:57.640 like you just describe introvert versus extrovert, but in a 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.960 relationship that's not how it's supposed to be. There needs 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.480 to be a willingness to come out of your show. 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.080 A little bit more and open up, like as this guy. 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.719 If I know that I'm with a person who is 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:13.919 a bit communicator. All she does is communicate it, and 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:17.400 I know I'm not I'm gonna try to meet her there. 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.399 You know what I'm saying, Like you know, and I 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.520 understand because I was even like that. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:24.320 I was on both sides. 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:27.639 I'm on more of your side now where I am 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.239 communicating more, But at first I was the same way. 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.320 I guess that's why I can kind of see where 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.720 he would be coming from. But I had to change that, 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.520 and I was willing to change that meeting the right person. 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.639 I was always aggressive and I was always just like no, yo, 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:42.359 I don't want to talk about it. I need time 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:44.680 because some people sometimes some people want to be mad 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.840 that shit is fucked up, but some people want to 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:49.000 be mad, they want. 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.160 To get it off. That's how some people get shit 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:51.800 off their chests. 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.800 He's not really a mediator because has he seen that 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.480 shit growing up? Has he always been that way because 0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:01.080 his parents didn't talk to him, or he just has 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.800 never been in in a place where he felt safe 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:04.720