1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: Doubled up? 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 2: Would you. 3 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 3: Mindillion pieces? Would you be. 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: Bay? 5 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 3: Oh? Look what time it is. 6 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 4: It's time for a brand spanking new hot demon coming 7 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 4: off the presses into your ear holes. It's Banana Many 8 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 4: so time. I'm Scotti Land, It's Banana Boy number two. 9 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm Kurt Brown Older. 10 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 2: We are going to do your confessions today. We will 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 2: be your your your priests of absolution? 12 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: Is the solution? The the word for absolve absolution? 13 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 4: Well, I we asked online, as we will do it 14 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 4: from time to time for we gave topics for confession, 15 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,919 Speaker 4: so just a narrow it down. So we did workplace 16 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 4: and we did roommates, and we got a lot of confession. 17 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 3: So I'm just gonna hammer through some of these. What 18 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 3: do you say? 19 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: I love it. 20 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 3: I love it. 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: We can absolve, we can tell stories, we can have 22 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: a good time. 23 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm already having fun just thinking about doing 24 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 4: this episode. Let's see what's a good quick one right now. 25 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 2: Also, I would assume that this is probably coming out 26 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 2: in the New Year, so happy New Year, everybody. But 27 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: of course these are all these are like many sods 28 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 2: are in a strange time warp because some people listen 29 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,119 Speaker 2: to them right when they come out on stitcher bringing 30 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 2: me am thanks ditch. Yes, and others are listening to 31 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 2: them a year later when they're put on the main feed. 32 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 2: So who knows that this is the past speaking to you. Yes, 33 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 2: we're coming to you from the past. So these are anonymous, 34 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: so we won't read the names, but if you hear them, 35 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: you'll know. Here's my confession. I went out to visit 36 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 2: my best friend at the University of Wyoming. She had 37 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 2: been having roommate troubles and they were they were hiding 38 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 2: pots and pans that she had paid for for from 39 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 2: her and we're just doing petty shit. She ended up 40 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 2: finding a new place while I was there, so I 41 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 2: helped move her out. After we had packed up the 42 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 2: last box, I felt we needed to get some poetic justice, 43 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 2: so I emptied their brit A water pitcher and filled 44 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: it up with toilet water. I have no regrets. 45 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,920 Speaker 4: Side note, the pitcher had a filter, but I bypassed 46 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 4: it with the toilet water, so when they thought they 47 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 4: were drinking refreshing filtered water, it was straight from the commode. 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 3: Absolutely no regrets. 49 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:43,359 Speaker 2: Wow, oh man, you are absolved, and it's it's it's 50 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 2: a good prank. 51 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 3: It's a good prank. 52 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 2: Also, probably the question is is from the tank or 53 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 2: from the bowl? You know, Yeah, the tank is difference. 54 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,679 Speaker 2: Tank is drinkable water, that's totable. That is so insane 55 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 2: to me. I do believe that at some point in 56 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 2: my children life, I'm going to have to be like, 57 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 2: so we had these chairs in our homes that would 58 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: bring drinking water, and then we would defecate into the 59 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 2: perfectly clean drinking water. I think that that's not going 60 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 2: to be a thing in the future. Like, it's just 61 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: insane that all of that water is perfectly drinkable. It's 62 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 2: not recycled one, it's not great. It's just water a 63 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: human being could drink, and we just poop in it. 64 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: It's crazy to me. 65 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 3: When I was. 66 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 4: Living in Florida, I had a roommate and so I 67 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 4: was working all the time. I was waiting tables, usually 68 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,279 Speaker 4: double shifts, and when we would go to waffle house afterwards, 69 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 4: like midnight, there was a good one and then the 70 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 4: bad one was across the street. But they were facing 71 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 4: in golfing. Really Florida, Yeah, there's no way. And if 72 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,839 Speaker 4: you were going north towards Pensacola City, there was one 73 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 4: on the right there, but everybody smoked cigarettes there the 74 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 4: whole time, and when we were on less people smoked 75 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 4: because they're more of the beach crowd. So I was like, 76 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 4: I was never home. I ate in my room when 77 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 4: I was home because she had like these two cats 78 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 4: that were nightmares, and so I just cut my door closed. 79 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 4: And I really never used anything, like, I was never 80 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 4: in the living room. I was basically the greatest roommate 81 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 4: you could possibly have. I'd pay her cash because I 82 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 4: was making a fortune waiting tables. 83 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. And one day in the morning, I heated up. 84 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 4: A waffle from the night before from waffle House in 85 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 4: the microwave on a plate. I ate it, I went 86 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 4: to work, and when I came back, she put it 87 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 4: on my pillow the one time and she we had 88 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 4: a dishwasher and her the big thing about this, who 89 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 4: was rent to UWF. We had one mutual friend who 90 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 4: introduced me to her. Her door said beware of Princess, 91 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 4: Princess crossing Daddy's old Princess. All the frames photos that 92 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 4: said Princess. Her Saturn car license plate was Princess. Now 93 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 4: heard steering wheel, said Princess on it, and that princess 94 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 4: put the one time, like I'd lived there for two months, 95 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 4: she put the plate on my pillow. So she came 96 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 4: in to my room and like was like, where could 97 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 4: I put this? And put it directly on like my 98 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 4: one pillow, and I like, to this day, I'm like, 99 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 4: that is the most petty shit. And I cleaned it. 100 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 4: I just never I ate every meal out of the 101 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 4: house after that forever. 102 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, I remember, I hate that so much. 103 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 2: I remember I had some petty shit happened when Lauren 104 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: and I decided to move to Los Angeles. 105 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, twenty twelve. 106 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 2: We wanted to sublet our place in Brooklyn because it 107 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 2: was an amazing place. It was like the culmination of 108 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 2: having lived in New York City for fourteen years. I 109 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 2: finally got a affordable corner apartment. Just the corner was 110 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 2: just all glass windows that looked out over It was 111 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,919 Speaker 2: on a hill right near Greenwood Cemetery in Sunset Park, 112 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 2: and it just looked out over the New York Harbor. 113 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 2: You could see the Statue of Liberty, you could see 114 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 2: downtown Manhattan. 115 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 3: It was beautiful. 116 00:05:58,279 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so we wanted to sub let it because 117 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 2: we're like we're gonna be by coastal. 118 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 3: We're gonna come back. 119 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: And everyone's like, you're never coming back, and I was like, 120 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: we're coming back, and so we we we sublet it 121 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 2: to this dude who is a friend of it, who 122 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: is the boyfriend of an Internet friend. 123 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 3: Internet friend. 124 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: Just know her from her her tea, he's and her haha. 125 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 3: Sure. 126 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: I meet him once. He seems fine. He seems boring, honestly, 127 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's who you want as a subbler. 128 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 2: You want a boring but boring dude. 129 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 3: You got that right. 130 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 2: We go away like three months in she the person 131 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 2: who I had a connection to him with, she breaks 132 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 2: up with him, she goes on to internet fame. She's 133 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 2: doing very well for herself, and and we when we decided, like, hey, 134 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 2: the sublet is over. Like we told him, it was 135 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 2: like a year or whatever it was, the sublet was over, 136 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 2: and we're like, we're not going to be coming back. However, 137 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 2: we would like to sublet this now to a friend 138 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 2: of ours who is looking for a place. So you've 139 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 2: been here for a year now, it's just we're gonna 140 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 2: give it to our front of our friends. And so 141 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 2: then he went behind our back and talked to the 142 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 2: land lady and then got the land lady to switch 143 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 2: the lease over to him without talking to him. So 144 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 2: now all of a sudden, it was his apartment, scummy 145 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 2: scum baby, and I had a friend who needed a place. 146 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: We wanted them to have it and sub let it 147 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 2: so it was still in the family. And first off, 148 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 2: I was like, shit, Troy, his name wasn't Troy, but 149 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 2: it was something shitty like Troy, and not not to 150 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: insult any trout. 151 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 3: There, but your name isn't number one in the world. 152 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 3: It's not number one. 153 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 2: So then we asked him after he focks us over, yeah, 154 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 2: We're like, okay, fine, but like all of our it's 155 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: a furnished apartment, all of our stuff is there. And 156 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: so we're like, here's the list of things that we 157 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 2: we were not going to take, how about you buy 158 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 2: them from us? And he's like okay, And so it 159 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: was like everything in the apartment, and so we said, like, uh, 160 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't I think I think it 161 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 2: was like two thousand dollars for everything furnishing that's couch, bed, TV, 162 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: all the cook wear, lamps, everything, And he offered like 163 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 2: four hundred dollars for this guy. 164 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 4: And I was like, this guy, he is going to 165 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 4: get hit by a steam shovel. 166 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: And we flew. We were like, fuck you. 167 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 2: We flew to New York like the next week, we 168 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 2: moved every We just put it on craig'slist, just despite him. 169 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 2: We put it all for free on Craigslist. People, when 170 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: you put shit on Craigslist for free, it is amazing 171 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 2: how in New York City how quickly you empty an apartment. 172 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 3: It can be two hours. You can do a whole apartment. 173 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: We first were trying to sell it to people, and 174 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,839 Speaker 2: people know, like people came and just like hung out 175 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 2: with us, and I was like, I don't want to 176 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: hang out with you. 177 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,839 Speaker 1: I want you to sell this by buy this stuff. Yeah, 178 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: and then we put. 179 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: It for free on Craigslist. The entire place was empty 180 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 2: in ten minutes. 181 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 4: It's incredible and it felt so good. You're like, this 182 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 4: is free too, Like people will be I used to 183 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 4: do that all the time. 184 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 2: It's the best because they're also like telling you what 185 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 2: they're going to do with it. They're like, we just 186 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 2: opened to my wife and I just opened a karate studio, 187 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: and this couch is going to be perfect for the 188 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 2: waiting area, and I was like, take it, man, Fuck 189 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 2: this guy, take it all. And then we just left 190 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 2: him an empty, dirty, filthy and then didn't put a 191 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 2: thing down, like just fuck you man. He just came 192 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: back to this like dusty still beautiful apartment. 193 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, karma, karma got him that. Your story just reminded me. 194 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 4: I had two friends out here and they were and 195 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 4: there was this really nice lesbian couple and I was 196 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 4: closer to one of them, even though I was friends 197 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 4: with both of them, and the one I was closest with, 198 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 4: like every three months, she'd be like, can you grab 199 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 4: a drink. I'm like yeah, and she would just be like, 200 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 4: we need to break up. She's driving me insane, and 201 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 4: I'm like, well, there's a way to work out of this. 202 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 4: And they weren't living together. They were just dating for 203 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 4: over a year or whatever, and then I another three 204 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 4: months ago by so this happened for like two years 205 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 4: and I'm just like, hey, there's if you're not happy, 206 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 4: and then they went to therapy and then they tried 207 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 4: everything to make it work because I think they were 208 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 4: their first real relationships. So when you're young and it's 209 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 4: your first relationship. You just think you work through everything. 210 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 211 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 3: You don't have to. Guys, if you're in your early twenties, 212 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 3: it's not working. Get out of there. Get out there 213 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 3: as out of time. Yeah. 214 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 4: Whatever you're into, there's billions of them out there. Meet 215 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 4: go meet a hundred of them. So then it goes 216 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 4: a couple months after. I was like, oh, this one's 217 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,719 Speaker 4: definitely over. She is going to end it and. 218 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 3: I'll be there for support, and she's like, we're moving 219 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 3: in together. I was like, here we go. 220 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 4: So they rent this place that's insanely gorgeous and silver lake, 221 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 4: like like six grand a month rent, like one of 222 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 4: those places that you're like, what are you doing? A 223 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 4: whole house. They furnish it with brand new furniture in 224 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 4: every direction. Oh boy, it was crazy office for her 225 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 4: office for me. So I uh fast forward six months 226 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 4: they break up. It's just the classic exactly. It just 227 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 4: it just made it. It just shot steroids into the 228 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 4: problem and made everything million times worst. They broke up 229 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 4: and they got such an argument that they didn't want 230 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 4: to talk to each other, and they had bought all 231 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 4: new stuff. So they got a third friend, this really 232 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 4: nice guy to sit there and sell everything for them. 233 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 4: They were like, we don't care about the money, just 234 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 4: just get rid of everything. I don't want to deal 235 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 4: with any of it ever again. So this guy goes 236 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 4: over and he sells everything in like a week, and 237 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 4: and then I he was a writer, aspiring writer, so 238 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,839 Speaker 4: I meet him for coffee and he had just gotten 239 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 4: yelled at by both of them individually over the phone 240 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 4: because he was going through everything he had sold. And 241 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 4: there was this fiddle leaf fig tree, a real tree. Yeah, 242 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 4: and she was like, how much did you sell that 243 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 4: for you? Like, I selld it for like two hundred 244 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 4: dollars And they were like what And they were like, 245 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 4: he's like why, He's like that tree was sixteen hundred dollars. 246 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 2: It was like middle leafage. I see one behind you. 247 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 2: I got one of call lets go for twenty five dollars. 248 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 4: I grew that one from clipping it off of somebody 249 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 4: else's street. So that's the part the whatever top soil 250 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 4: and a bucket cost. But it was like a full 251 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 4: sized tree. It was like a twenty foot tree, which 252 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 4: those are very expensive. Here's this poor nice guy who 253 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 4: just was doing these two crazy bastards of favor and 254 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 4: he was like, two hundred dollars for a tree. 255 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 3: That's twenty dollars. 256 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: This is amazing for a tree. 257 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,680 Speaker 4: And it was the only thing they were mad about. Mattress, sofa, 258 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 4: TVs are everything else. They were like okay, okay, and 259 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 4: they were like what. But then you're like, well, you're 260 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 4: the jack assets. Yeah, spent two grand on a tree 261 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 4: two grand on Yeah. 262 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 3: All right. 263 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 4: Here's another. It blew my mind. Here's a here's a 264 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 4: workplace workplace confession. When I was twelve, my friend and 265 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 4: I looked up quote big boobs on my mom's work computer. 266 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 4: My mom worked at a magistrate court. We confronted, I 267 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 4: lied and said it wasn't us and let the custodian 268 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 4: take the fall. 269 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 3: Well, you were absolved. 270 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 2: You also so funny. I wonder how much I do think. 271 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 2: I wonder how much of the of like dirty search 272 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 2: terms are like naked woman. 273 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 3: Well, that's one of our mutual friends. 274 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 4: Their son was like eleven, and he said, dude, I 275 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 4: looked at like the Google search history, and I guess 276 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 4: he's starting to hit puberty or something, because he just 277 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 4: searched for nudity. 278 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 3: Google nudity. What a great place to start. What a 279 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 3: great I remember. 280 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: I don't know what it was. 281 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 2: I think it was like an art exhibit that I 282 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 2: found online when I was in my twenties. 283 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 3: Okay, but it was just men and women. 284 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 2: But it was pictures of them just fully clothed and 285 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 2: then you would like click and then they would be 286 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 2: fully naked and it was the crazy it was like 287 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 2: I was fascinated, but it was the craziest thing. Uh, 288 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 2: I don't know why it was so like it's because 289 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 2: it's the same thing as that show, that British show. Yeah, 290 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 2: it's like have you ever seen that British show where 291 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 2: they where there's people are totally nude behind like a wall, 292 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 2: and then it just the wall raises and then you 293 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 2: see like their their knees, Yeah, and then you just 294 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: see their groin and then you see their their chest 295 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 2: area and then you lastly see their face. 296 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 3: And the dating show. 297 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 2: Ye, it's a dating show and the person has to 298 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 2: decide who they want to date. They're interviewing and talking 299 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 2: to them while they can only see like their crotch, 300 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 2: like their dick or something. 301 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: It's the PRETTIESTOL. 302 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 4: I had the opposite when we had AOL, like the 303 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 4: concept of internet and like naked picks or whatever. 304 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 3: I you know, it was too young to really understand 305 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 3: what it was. 306 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 4: We had dial up internet, but I remember being on 307 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 4: one of those chat rooms that like AOL chat room 308 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 4: or the best little chat house in America and like 309 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 4: teenagers or whatever, and I'm on there and somebody's like, 310 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 4: click this link for Playboy. So I clicked the link, 311 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 4: and I have a very vivid memory of sitting there 312 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 4: on dial up internet when you could only get like 313 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 4: eighty hours a month or whatever. And I was like, well, 314 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 4: let's just see what happens. And the playmate's name was 315 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 4: Shay Marks. It's like burned into my head. And it 316 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 4: started at the top. It's the reverse of what you're saying. 317 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 4: And it was like so slow rendering. I mean I 318 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 4: took twenty minutes and then I'm like, oh, that looks 319 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 4: like hair. And then it was her face and I 320 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 4: was like, this is pretty cool. I mean, I was 321 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 4: like twelve or thirteen. And then it got down to 322 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 4: her shoulders and I was like, certainly, this is going 323 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 4: to be the impossible thing. And when you saw her, 324 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 4: when I saw her breast for the first time, it 325 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 4: like blew my mind. That that was available on a computer, 326 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 4: and then I instantly closed it and deleted it, thinking 327 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 4: it was like permanent record. 328 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 3: I was going to go to jail. 329 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 4: Or something so so weird, but yeah, it happens. That 330 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 4: was I'll never forget it, because I just didn't really 331 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 4: think it was possible. I was like, they're certainly not 332 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 4: going to nudity on this, and they were like, here, oh, 333 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 4: let's see. 334 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 2: To give us one more confession before we believe the 335 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 2: fine people. 336 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 3: This is an interesting one. Roommate confession. 337 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 4: My freshman year roommate had a huge fish tank, but 338 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 4: her fish kept dying, so instead of being a normal 339 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 4: person and flushing them, she decided to save one and 340 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 4: bring it back to the pet store to get her 341 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 4: money back. 342 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 3: Oh right, all unbeknownst to me, can I have my 343 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 3: seventy five cents back? Please? No? 344 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 4: Also, they're like user error, this is on you. They're 345 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 4: not that hard to keep fish alive, unbeknownst to me. 346 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 4: Imagine my surprise when I opened the fridge and found 347 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 4: a dead fish inside of a ziplock bag staring back 348 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 4: at me. She didn't have time to go to the 349 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 4: pet store and didn't want to smell, so she refrigerated it. 350 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 3: If I liked her, it would have been funny. 351 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 4: But I couldn't stand her by this point, so I 352 00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 4: made her wipe down the entire fridge with chlorox wipestuff. 353 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 4: It's pretty sweet, really, So that's like you didn't do 354 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,160 Speaker 4: anything wrong there. That's not a really mean one. 355 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:06,360 Speaker 3: Here. 356 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 4: Let's get one to go out on that actually needs 357 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 4: to be absolved. 358 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 2: Okay, while you're looking, I will mention that I remember dating. 359 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 2: I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, but 360 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: I remember dating or trying to date this woman when 361 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 2: I was in high school. Yeah, who was a hippie 362 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 2: and trying to learn how to learn taxidermy. So she 363 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 2: had a bunch of roadkill, like a duck and a raccoons, 364 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 2: and it was just in the freezer at all times. 365 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 2: When you would just go in there there was just 366 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 2: a dead duck and a dead raccoon. 367 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I oh god, I uh, okay, I'll go out 368 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 4: on one of our stories. So I used to live 369 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 4: in Florida, like I said, And the second summer I 370 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 4: went down, I sub let my place in Massachusetts and 371 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 4: I put up on Craigslist and there was a UMS 372 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 4: student and this woman comes over and she's very nice, 373 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 4: very nerdy. She's like, I'm super into Star Trek, I'm 374 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 4: super into Battlestar Galactica. Like, I have a full time job, 375 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 4: so I really am only going to be here on weekend. 376 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 4: And I was like great, And so I moved back 377 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,679 Speaker 4: down to Pensacola Beach and we're hanging out and my 378 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 4: roommate calls me. I'm like, yeah, how's she doing? And 379 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 4: he goes, She's really nice, she's never here, she does 380 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,680 Speaker 4: work all the time. And we've been watching lots of 381 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,680 Speaker 4: Battlestar Galactica together. But I got to talk to you 382 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 4: about something. And I don't know if you should charge her, 383 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 4: and I don't want to say anything, and I don't 384 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 4: know how much you're charging her rented room. 385 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 3: But my roommate Bryce was vegan. Yeah he was. He's 386 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 3: the first vegan I ever knew. 387 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: See is Bryce still vegan? 388 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 4: No, he came out of it. Now he eats the world. Now, 389 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 4: he's a true omnivore. But I was like all, I 390 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 4: was like, well, what did she do? He goes, well, 391 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 4: she just like boiled a full kill basa in my 392 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 4: only cooking pot that I like keep to the side, 393 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry, dude. I was like, 394 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 4: and so I cleaned it the first time, but it's 395 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 4: like it's really gross. I was like, so she did 396 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 4: it again. He's like, yeah, she just boiled another kill Bosa. 397 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 4: So I guess on like Saturday mornings she would watch 398 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,439 Speaker 4: Star Trek and boil kill Bossa And so I ended up. 399 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 4: I was like, dude, just go buy another one in 400 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 4: charge for it. But I felt so bad. But I 401 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 4: was like, hey, this girl, she's never there. That's a 402 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,120 Speaker 4: pretty good roommate, I think. 403 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 2: And every once in a while she eats boiled Kilbosa 404 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 2: on the couch. 405 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 4: In the one we have fourteen pots and pants because 406 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 4: there are five of us living in a house, and 407 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 4: she just happened to pick the one that the vegan 408 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 4: saves for Garbonzo being chilling with red onions. 409 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 3: It's very good, oh man. Bryce. 410 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 2: For those of you who happened to be at the 411 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 2: New York City show, Bryce Bryce played Rod Dranger. 412 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 4: Rod Ranger who might make another appearance at some point 413 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 4: on These Coasts. 414 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 3: Who knows. 415 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 4: Le's sketch went so well, But the Brooklyn show was awesome. 416 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,400 Speaker 4: Chicago's our last tour date, it'll already been done by 417 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 4: the time This Bad Boy comes out. But next year, 418 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 4: guys come out to Banana's Live. It is wild, good times, 419 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 4: it's interactive. We love doing it. We can't believe you 420 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 4: guys enjoyed as much as we do. But so far, 421 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 4: so good. 422 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 423 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,479 Speaker 2: So that has been Bananas many so well. Thank you 424 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,640 Speaker 2: to everyone. Thank you to Katie Levine, our producer. Thank 425 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 2: you to our fully human, a fully realized human who 426 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 2: is also our intern, Lisa Maggott. And thank you to 427 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,680 Speaker 2: everyone Exactly Right Media, especially Karen and Georgia, and thank 428 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 2: you to you Scottie. 429 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 3: And you too, Kurd. 430 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 4: Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year and 431 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 4: whatever else you celebrate. 432 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 3: Enjoy it, Bernerner. This has been an exactly right production. 433 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine. 434 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 3: The music by Kahan, and all. 435 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,719 Speaker 1: Of our artwork is done by Travis Millard. 436 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 4: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast, 437 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 4: where we post stories every day and things that we 438 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 4: don't cover on the podcast. 439 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 2: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple 440 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 2: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. 441 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 3: And if you're interested in advertising on bananas. 442 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 4: Please email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. 443 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 4: That's the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. The fact 444 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:01,679 Speaker 4: that the. 445 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,880 Speaker 1: Range are natural 446 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 4: Traveling but theirs many people their