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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with Brooks Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: to Grab and her radio podcast. Welcome to you, how

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Speaker 1: many things? What are you laughing at? Buddy? I can't

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Speaker 1: even I can't even start talking, and you're already laughing

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Speaker 1: over there. Sorry, man, you were preparing inside joke in

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Speaker 1: my own small room of a brain. Ping pongs are

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Speaker 1: flying around in there. Welcome to another episode of How

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Speaker 1: Man Think Podcast. My name is Brooks Like. I got

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Speaker 1: my good buddy, Mr Gavin de Gross over there. I

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Speaker 1: missed you the last two weeks you have he did,

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Speaker 1: he did the show. He didn't even tell me. I

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Speaker 1: heard somebody else said in my chair. We did have

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Speaker 1: a fantastic time. We got great am. You're out there

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Speaker 1: singing songs and dancing. We said, we do the heavy

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Speaker 1: lifting around here. Buddy, you get to come in and

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Speaker 1: like just play around. I get to say thanks guys.

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Speaker 1: Do I get my checks today yet? Name? He's like,

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Speaker 1: no showmaking money getting there. If this episode is good

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Speaker 1: and people listen, maybe next time I could get a

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Speaker 1: hotel room with coaches. Yes, sorry about that, buddy. It's

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Speaker 1: all right. Gavin had to text me this morning and

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Speaker 1: he's like, I gotta get out of here. There's roaches

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Speaker 1: in the hotel. You know, I heart. We really set

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Speaker 1: you up nice at the house. You could come stay

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Speaker 1: at behind anytime. We have. You should see our basements.

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Speaker 1: Careful about inviting me because I'm actually the guy will

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Speaker 1: show up at yours the morning. I don't know. We

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Speaker 1: have a gorgeous basement suite. You got like a king Dad.

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Speaker 1: It's like blackout blinds. You got like a theater room

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Speaker 1: right there for you. Okay, yeah, he come stay. You

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Speaker 1: see like a drunken version of me and your driveway

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Speaker 1: to night. Don't be surprised, buddy. Anyway, enough of that.

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Speaker 1: You're the offers on the table for young We're missing

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Speaker 1: we're missing Rick, we're missing Ryan, we're missing Dmitri today.

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Speaker 1: So they don't everybody, they don't actually know we're doing this.

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Speaker 1: You didn't, you're sinking around. I wanted to do an episode,

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Speaker 1: in fact, I wanted to do too with just you

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Speaker 1: two and our very special guests. Correct, we have an

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Speaker 1: extremely special we have a very special guest. We've been

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Speaker 1: wanting to do this show since our show How Men

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Speaker 1: Thinks started. Our guest today, How I met her was

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Speaker 1: I went on her podcast called scrubbing in which is

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Speaker 1: on my heart with our dear friend Becca Tilly Beccaca,

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Speaker 1: and she's also a morning co host and just an

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Speaker 1: all around fantastic person. You're one of my favorite people.

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Speaker 1: I've wanted to sit here and do this with you

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Speaker 1: since I met Miss Tanya. Yes Brooks, I love you

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Speaker 1: so much. First of all, I feel like you guys

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Speaker 1: record this podcast at like my off hours, So don't

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Speaker 1: you normally do this in like the pms? We do it? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: usually four to seven pm. Yeah, you know, I go

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Speaker 1: to bed at Liken. I go to bed at nine,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not far behind you. But I'm super excited

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Speaker 1: to have you here. I love you so much truly,

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Speaker 1: Like I remember when we met when you did come

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and I like felt this sort of

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Speaker 1: um connection to you, just in a way because I

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Speaker 1: feel like you have the same soul as me. Um.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really happy to be here. A question for you,

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Speaker 1: do you feel because I feel I have a new soul,

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Speaker 1: like my soul has never lived before. Some people feel

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Speaker 1: like they have old souls. I feel like you, Gav

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Speaker 1: might be an old soul. I have no soul. We'll

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Speaker 1: find it. We'll get it back. You might have left

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Speaker 1: it in a tavern last night, but we'll find giant

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Speaker 1: hole through the center of me. Uh t. Do you

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Speaker 1: feel like you are a new soul or an old soul?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a new soul and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm a young soul. Yes, exactly, me too. Okay,

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Speaker 1: a little bit mmmmmm, we'll dive into that maybe. But

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Speaker 1: so here's the topic of the podcast today, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's a super relevant I think this episode is

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Speaker 1: going to be bigger than we even realize it's about.

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Speaker 1: And you raised this to me when I asked you

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Speaker 1: would you come on our show. What's the topic you

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Speaker 1: would like to talk about? You said, an independent woman

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Speaker 1: and a successful woman and how that how do men

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Speaker 1: react to that and how does that play an issue

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Speaker 1: or non issue in relationships? Yeah, it's it's interesting because

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Speaker 1: I make no apologies for the way that I am

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Speaker 1: and being successful and being independent, like I'm proud of

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Speaker 1: all of those things. But I do think it's a

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Speaker 1: really interesting dynamic within a relationship because I actually don't know,

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Speaker 1: I haven't figured it out. It's emasculating. I'm just going

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Speaker 1: to call it out. Sometimes it can be emasculating. So

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Speaker 1: what we're talking about here is the to give you

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Speaker 1: guys a little foundation of this is if a woman

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Speaker 1: is more successful. We're talking financially and a lot of

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Speaker 1: our listeners I'm sure you like, I can't wait for

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Speaker 1: the response from you guys for this. They we're talking

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Speaker 1: about a woman being super successful in her career and

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Speaker 1: very independent, and does that emasculate a man? How does

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Speaker 1: it feel as a man to date somebody like that

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Speaker 1: or I'm married to one? So I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: give you my thoughts on it and hopefully ease your

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, perspective toward it. But that's what the

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Speaker 1: base of this is. So I want to give you

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Speaker 1: the floorty to just ask, like the most important question

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Speaker 1: for you about what you want to know from us man,

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Speaker 1: from Gavin and I that we could possibly help you,

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Speaker 1: or what you're struggling with with being an independent woman.

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Speaker 1: I think initially it's hard for me in the beginning

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Speaker 1: because I am because I am the way that I am.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little bit of a control freak and so

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Speaker 1: when I'm start dating somebody like I like to eat early,

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Speaker 1: and I like, you know what I mean, just because

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Speaker 1: of like my schedule and the way that I like

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Speaker 1: live my life, Like I eat dinner like so embarrassing

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Speaker 1: five third year, like six pm, and the guy asks

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Speaker 1: me or to dinner, They asked me to go to

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Speaker 1: dinner like eight or nine, And so I try to

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Speaker 1: be lucy goosey and like go at the flow. But

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Speaker 1: then there's another part of me that's not able to

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Speaker 1: do that. Um So, I think, like for me, it's

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Speaker 1: a hard balance of trying to maneuver in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: like how how much do I voice what I need

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Speaker 1: and how much do I let them take control? Five

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Speaker 1: thirty six pm, I'd be having an omelet. You're just

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Speaker 1: finishing brunch. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm eating supper at

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Speaker 1: five thirty six. Yeah, I love eating early. Um So,

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Speaker 1: my question to you is that that sounds more like

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Speaker 1: a scheduling issue or like a schedule not an independent woman.

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Speaker 1: Or is it because of your career that your schedule

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Speaker 1: is like that and you're having a tough time finding

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Speaker 1: a guy. It's a snowball effect because I do have

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Speaker 1: like I do have a really tight schedule, and I

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Speaker 1: do like my work is really important to me. So

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Speaker 1: I don't like to come in super tired or hungover

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Speaker 1: or whatever. You know, so it's kind of like also

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Speaker 1: making time for somebody and um, and yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think I just I struggle with finding the balance.

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Speaker 1: So sorry, UM question. Uh you say independence, This is

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Speaker 1: a broad term independence. Um, But I don't know where

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Speaker 1: that fine line is between what people say being strong

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Speaker 1: or being independent is. I think I don't necessarily think

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Speaker 1: that they're the same thing. And being successful doesn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: make you independent and vice versa. Um, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you're someone who is looking for more codependence because it

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Speaker 1: sounds like a lot of times when people are championing

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Speaker 1: their independent so much yet looking for someone to help

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Speaker 1: to take you know, to have a companion, sounds like

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Speaker 1: they're almost independent independencing themselves into loneliness. Um. And having

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Speaker 1: a balance in in that regard I think is tough

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Speaker 1: because I think what happens with a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: They are pursuing their career, and they're proud of their career,

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Speaker 1: and there's this great pursuit for their career. It's a

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Speaker 1: hard thing to become successful, and careers are different than jobs.

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Speaker 1: You don't clock in and clock out of a career,

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Speaker 1: so you know, you take your career home with you

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Speaker 1: and it ultimately is really your lifestyle your career. It's different, right, Um,

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Speaker 1: So does that what does that sort of interropt goes

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Speaker 1: out the way you feel that you have a career

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Speaker 1: not a job? Awesome? But I guess, I guess my

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Speaker 1: my My question is it's not. It's not it's not

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Speaker 1: a challenge or anything. But the question is, um, what

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Speaker 1: concessions are you willing to make with your career in

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Speaker 1: order to have Why does she need to concede? I'm

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Speaker 1: saying you have to make some sort of concessions in

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Speaker 1: some ways with your Oftentimes something's got to get in

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Speaker 1: life anything. When you're building to concede. When you're building

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Speaker 1: a tank, you make sacrifice as you take armor off

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Speaker 1: so it's faster, or put it on so it's stronger.

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Speaker 1: You need a bigger gun or a smaller gun. There's things,

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Speaker 1: there's there's there's different ingredients to balance things out. To

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Speaker 1: make a everything has to be an overall version of something.

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Speaker 1: Can never be a perfect version of one thing. I

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Speaker 1: feel like, um, independent in a way, Independence to me

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Speaker 1: is my life is very full. I have I'm very happy.

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Speaker 1: I love my job, I have the best friends, I

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Speaker 1: have great family. Um, I can take care of myself,

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Speaker 1: but what I really want is a partner, a teammate

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Speaker 1: to do life with, because I feel like there's so

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Speaker 1: much power in a in a pair and I think

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Speaker 1: I'm just I think I really am struggling finding that

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Speaker 1: particular man. I guess I don't know how it's like

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Speaker 1: my uh picker is off or like how I can

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Speaker 1: find a man that because I do think that there's

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Speaker 1: something that really do just kind of look at me

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Speaker 1: and look at my career and they're kind of like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm out, or guys, is she going zero to sixty?

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Speaker 1: Like she wants this partner teammate but maybe she should

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Speaker 1: just find a nice pal for a second. So knowing Tanya,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Um. I believe that you are

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Speaker 1: like everyone want sincere companionship and why wouldn't you. But

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Speaker 1: also I love that you are strong enough and proud

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Speaker 1: enough to not sacrifice and give everything up and just

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Speaker 1: bend and almost break. It's going to break your soul

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Speaker 1: if you do that, to give away everything to be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll come for supper at nine o'clock and I'll show

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Speaker 1: up tired. And I love that you protect the things

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Speaker 1: that matter to you. And so it can be difficult

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Speaker 1: your your career schedule is different than most maybe, but

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Speaker 1: so it can be a little bit difficult to find

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Speaker 1: somebody that maybe can slide into that. But I don't

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Speaker 1: think if I were you, I would ever sacrifice that.

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Speaker 1: Sure there's compromise, Like sometimes even when I was playing hockey,

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Speaker 1: like every time we'd play a big game tomorrow night

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Speaker 1: and I'd want to be at home resting, and my

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Speaker 1: wife would want to have a date night, and I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, ah, like can I go out tonight? I

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Speaker 1: want to rest. I want to watch the teams playing

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Speaker 1: tonight in Anaheim that we're playing tomorrow. Um, it's a

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a real subtle dance. I believe when

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Speaker 1: you find the person. But if you find Actually it

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Speaker 1: just came to me. I think if you find the

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Speaker 1: person that you thoroughly enjoy and are intrigued about, the

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Speaker 1: rest is actually pretty easy. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you can see that without having that person, Does that

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Speaker 1: make sense totally? Is? I think? Um? And I A

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Speaker 1: lot of people disagree with me on this, but I'm

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Speaker 1: a like put my all put all my eggs into

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Speaker 1: one basket type of girl. Like I can't do the

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Speaker 1: dating one couple people thing like that, because that would

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Speaker 1: kind of suck on all of them in one shot.

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Speaker 1: Like everybody tells me you should just put a couple

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Speaker 1: of eggs in a bunch of baskets and just see

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Speaker 1: which one that's not. It's not me, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: I can't do that. I intentionally date. I just that's

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Speaker 1: just how I am. It's how I'm wired. But what's

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Speaker 1: interesting is because I'm also like not afraid to just

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Speaker 1: be fully myself and I'm like, I'm dating, I'm intentionally

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Speaker 1: dating you. I want to see where this goes. And

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Speaker 1: then I go full in and I do like cute

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Speaker 1: things and I do nice things, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: I got maybe go into like show too much or

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Speaker 1: give them too much because I never feel like it's balanced.

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Speaker 1: But don't you think that a man will you don't

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Speaker 1: feel like it's reciprocal, correct, Like I like, I'm very

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Speaker 1: much like I'll shoot my shot, I'll flirt with you,

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Speaker 1: I'll drop the handkerchief whatever, um, But I don't feel

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Speaker 1: like I get a lot of that back. I gotta

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Speaker 1: step in here. I'm not saying that you haven't had

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Speaker 1: those experiences, but I don't want to just paint all

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Speaker 1: men with a broad stroke that they don't get because

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Speaker 1: some men are extremely thoughtful, and thoughtful is different. So

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Speaker 1: like thoughtful can be loving and caring. They can do

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Speaker 1: little things. But my experience has been let's say, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: and I think you get into this mode where the

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Speaker 1: one woman could be the planner. So I'm like, always

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Speaker 1: planning the trips and planning the dinners and planning to this,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I'm like, why is he

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Speaker 1: never doing it? But maybe it's because I set it

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Speaker 1: up that way. Yeah, And I also think I'm a

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Speaker 1: big believer in love languages, and like I know my

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Speaker 1: love language and I make it. Obviously, probably something else

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Speaker 1: is not great to do, Like on a first or

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Speaker 1: second date, I find out what love language is the

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Speaker 1: guy that I'm dating speaks. I don't think that's a

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Speaker 1: bad thing at all. Yeah, because I think you show

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Speaker 1: love in different ways and it's important for somebody to

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Speaker 1: know that. Can I find that on duo lingo it's

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Speaker 1: you don't know your love languages. So here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing, tell me if I'm wrong, Tea. I

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Speaker 1: think most of us will give love in the way

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Speaker 1: that we want to receive love. So if I'm an

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Speaker 1: acts of service guy, I'll do like a lot of

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Speaker 1: access service from my wife. But she might be a

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Speaker 1: words of affirmation person and so she's not even receiving

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Speaker 1: the love that I'm giving. So I don't blame you

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Speaker 1: for bringing that up. I I think you're a very

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Speaker 1: evolved human being. I think you're extremely evolved human being,

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Speaker 1: and it's tough for a man to sit at the

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Speaker 1: table with you. I love being at the table with you,

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Speaker 1: but a bad way. I'm not saying tough. I'm like

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Speaker 1: you are. I'm very impressed by you as a human being,

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Speaker 1: and you deserve a really quality man, and so I

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Speaker 1: don't think every man deserves to sit at the table

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Speaker 1: with you. Appreciate you can say about it, but I

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Speaker 1: want to hear what has to say, because he's a

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Speaker 1: little bit more of a I know. So it's actually

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Speaker 1: really interesting that I'm seeing this because and this is

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Speaker 1: not all Boks is the exception to the this is

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Speaker 1: that was me. I was Gavin before I met my wife.

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Speaker 1: I spent a whole life in the locker room with

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Speaker 1: twenty three dudes. That's very interesting. But I feel with

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Speaker 1: Banned and Crew guys, you know what I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: it's uh exactly the same. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: That's that's I think why you you get it too.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like perspective that we're surrounded by gives

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Speaker 1: me hope in the man that I want to take

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Speaker 1: that from you. And I feel like Gavin is the

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Speaker 1: guy that I am like usually dating, like like no,

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Speaker 1: but I'm so glad that like you do have this

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Speaker 1: platform because I feel like there are a lot of

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Speaker 1: people and I think, um, when you when you're dating

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Speaker 1: so much and you're you're let down, you're constantly let down,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of fear that comes over you as

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Speaker 1: a woman. Like I feel like that's a lot of

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Speaker 1: place that I function from as a place of fear.

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Speaker 1: When I when I meet a man that is like

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Speaker 1: kind of cool, I'm fearful like that I won't find

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Speaker 1: somebody better than that. But it's that's not the case.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I have to really, I really have to

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Speaker 1: struggle and find my faith in everything because I know

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Speaker 1: that I'm destined to be with somebody that I that

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Speaker 1: I feel so passionately in my heart about. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: I just know that it's it's just it's a matter

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Speaker 1: of time. Okay. I like what you're saying. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: like what you're saying. Umm, is this a possible? A

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Speaker 1: possibility that because because you're successful, Because I'm sitting here

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Speaker 1: in a room of filled with successful, successful people who

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Speaker 1: are career oriented personality types and people who in general

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Speaker 1: win a lot at life. Okay, a lot of the

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Speaker 1: people in this room win. They're used to winning. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we work hard to win, you work hard to win.

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Speaker 1: But ultimately, I do believe in the old school movies

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Speaker 1: of the person who deserves to win wins because they're

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Speaker 1: the most dedicated. Right now out, you're someone who's used

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Speaker 1: to winning, and I think, I think where it gets

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Speaker 1: frustrating for someone like you and other people here is

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Speaker 1: when it's not going the way that they're used to.

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Speaker 1: Because they're used to winning, they think there's a problem

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Speaker 1: with themselves or with the person that they're they're trying

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Speaker 1: to date. It's only because you're so used to winning

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Speaker 1: that it hurts that much worse that it's not working

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Speaker 1: out for you because things are going so well. The

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Speaker 1: things that you can control and have fought to control,

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Speaker 1: you have control over. But you can't control another person, right,

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Speaker 1: And I think that tends to be the most frustrating

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Speaker 1: element of of our private lives. Right, you can't fix

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Speaker 1: certain things that aren't doing it for you as someone

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Speaker 1: for somebody else. And I think that this is this

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Speaker 1: is this is human nature to try to fix something wrong,

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Speaker 1: whereas a good CEO instead only focuses on something right

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Speaker 1: with the personality type they're dealing with, and focuses on

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Speaker 1: only doing those things that work great, rather than trying

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Speaker 1: to correct the things that are wrong with that they're

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Speaker 1: that they're not doing great. But it's interesting because I

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Speaker 1: do think it's for me. It always comes back to

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Speaker 1: the love languages, because I I think I have gotten

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Speaker 1: to that point where I'm like, I'm not feeling the

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Speaker 1: love from you, how, but how are you? Like, how

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Speaker 1: are you showing it to me? Because for me, I'm

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Speaker 1: at acts of service, So I do little things like

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Speaker 1: that are thoughtful for somebody. We are buddies. Yeah it's

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Speaker 1: not quite an active service, wow, but um, but not

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Speaker 1: right here on my shoulder to me, words of affirmation,

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Speaker 1: doesn't isn't necessary, totally necessary, but that like the person

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Speaker 1: I'm dating, if they're constantly telling me that they like

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Speaker 1: me and like all of these things about me, and

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Speaker 1: then like that's how they show their love. So it's

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Speaker 1: like I do I think I've gotten past the checklist

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Speaker 1: and like what it's supposed to look like for me, um,

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Speaker 1: because that can be very limiting. Gav We've talked about

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Speaker 1: that before when from the twenty to thirty I was

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Speaker 1: singled pretty much my whole NHL career there, and I

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Speaker 1: just being single, I got this concept of what I

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Speaker 1: thought a girlfriend was going to be and what she

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Speaker 1: would do, and it was just fairy tale, magical concept.

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Speaker 1: And then my now wife came into my life and

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Speaker 1: brought a whole array of other qualities that I didn't

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Speaker 1: even see or think about. I was looking for somebody

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Speaker 1: that was, you know, gonna help get groceries and like

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Speaker 1: maybe make me supper or make me lunch, come home,

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Speaker 1: or like just like take care of me in a way,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is and now I met

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Speaker 1: like one of the most independent women, probably the most

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Speaker 1: independent woman I've ever met. Very much like yourself. So

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Speaker 1: it can be limiting to have a mindset of what

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Speaker 1: this person is supposed to be. I thought I was

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Speaker 1: going to marry a Canadian girl and up back in

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Speaker 1: hawk Era in Canada working in hockey, and I'm in

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Speaker 1: l A, married to an American girl doing a podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's true, but you have to be open to seeing

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Speaker 1: things if you're looking, if anybody in our community is

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Speaker 1: looking for a companion, you have to be open to

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Speaker 1: all things versus just boxing a person in saying they

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Speaker 1: have to fit this mold. And I get that we

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Speaker 1: have standards and ideas of what we want, but that

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Speaker 1: has to be liquid to some degree inflexible. Tanya, is

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Speaker 1: there a something about each person you've dated, let's say,

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Speaker 1: in the last five years, that has a through line?

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Speaker 1: Are you repeating something that looks familiar to you that

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Speaker 1: is not serving you? So yes, but yes, And then

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Speaker 1: I want to go back to something that you said,

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Speaker 1: tell us what that is so we can like figure

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Speaker 1: it out. So I up until the last this last

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Speaker 1: guy that I did, was totally different. Up until him,

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Speaker 1: I dated men that were not available, and I don't

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Speaker 1: mean available like they were like married or in a

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Speaker 1: relationship like I mean like physically they were either in

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Speaker 1: a different state or they were just gotten out of

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Speaker 1: a divorce, so they're not emotionally available. And I think

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Speaker 1: I did this to protect myself from feeling pain because

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Speaker 1: I went through really like I went through a traumatizing breakup.

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Speaker 1: So I think that I saw myself having this pattern

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Speaker 1: of dating people that I literally could not get so

388
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Speaker 1: close to because then they couldn't hurt me. Um. I

389
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Speaker 1: had recognized that since and I now the last guy

390
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: I dated lived in Los Angeles and he was like

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Speaker 1: emotionally available and felt that you felt like that was

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Speaker 1: progress for sure to dig deeper into it. Are you

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Speaker 1: sure something was familiar about him, whether he was unavailable

394
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Speaker 1: in some way? You think maybe would that would that

395
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 1: suit you're with, that possibility suit your personality type, and

396
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Speaker 1: that you you enjoy your independence so much that even

397
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Speaker 1: when you do like somebody, there's an element of self

398
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Speaker 1: restriction because you don't want to lose that that personal time,

399
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Speaker 1: that space used to having to degree, It's not so

400
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Speaker 1: much no, not in like I'm fearful of losing my independence,

401
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: but I definitely think that there is a part of

402
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Speaker 1: me that still scarred from that breakup that doesn't want

403
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 1: to like let somebody in, Like I think that I've

404
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 1: loved without a parachute before, Like I would just jump

405
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Speaker 1: in and just like I was all in, and I'll

406
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Speaker 1: never do that again. Like now I always jump in

407
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 1: with like a parachute is there. You book your life,

408
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: Gotta do this, gotta do this, gotta go here, gotta

409
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: go to this. We got this, this and this and

410
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 1: this and this dinner and this party and this this,

411
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: so that there's no room for someone else. They here's

412
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 1: what we can fit here. You know you can answer

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00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: that first. And I have a question, like ever since

414
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 1: I want me and this up. Last guy ended things.

415
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: I literally packed my schedule so hard that like I couldn't.

416
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Speaker 1: I would literally like it was like I just woke

417
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Speaker 1: up and just went and then went to bed. It's

418
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Speaker 1: almost a distraction. Yeah, what you wanted to touch on

419
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Speaker 1: one thing I said earlier? What was it? Oh? It

420
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: was the boxes, the checking off of the list, because

421
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 1: I was so much that girl, like maybe four years ago,

422
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: I was like that girl. I had the list and

423
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: I would go on dates auditioning for my husband, and

424
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Speaker 1: it made dating so awful for me that I literally

425
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 1: committed to a full year. What do you think? They

426
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 1: felt like, horrible, horrible. That's like a broke Santa showing

427
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: up at the the orphanage. Kids are like, hey, this

428
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 1: is what we want. He's like, I don't have the money.

429
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: I don't even have any workers. So at that point,

430
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: I committed, I committed to a full year of I

431
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 1: said single, where I just said I want to commit

432
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: to being single. I don't even want I will, I will,

433
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 1: don't even want to be in a relationship with these guys.

434
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: I want to go on a date and just have fun.

435
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,880
Speaker 1: And it changed my perspective so much because I would

436
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: have guys ask me out all the time and I'd

437
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: be like, no, he's too young, he's to this. And

438
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: then I just started saying yes to everybody. I was like, sure,

439
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: why not? Sounds like you you only permit yourself to

440
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: be the love e m hmm. Do you want to

441
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: receive all of the affection You're not necessarily at this

442
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: point willing to give anymore. No. No, I think they're

443
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,959
Speaker 1: exactly really. I think let me go with this, let

444
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 1: me go with this, because I think I have a

445
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,680
Speaker 1: good read. I think you're exactly wrong. You are such

446
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 1: a lover. You give love, you give love. But part

447
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: of being in love I'm a married guy, is allowing

448
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 1: myself to receive love. Yeah, and that I just want

449
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: to let that sit. You have to allow yourself to

450
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 1: receive love. And it's something my wife and I have

451
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 1: both gone through as we're both extremely independent people, and

452
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 1: there will be times where I'm okay. It's so weird though,

453
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: because I can receive love so well from my friends

454
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: and my family because I know they're not going anywhere.

455
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: Does that make sense. It's like, I know my friends

456
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: and my family will be in my life forever trauma

457
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: from what happened to you, and it's not wrong that

458
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: you're not over it. It's okay, and that's yeah. I

459
00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 1: want to hurt him, Yeah, give him, give us his name.

460
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: Gavin and I. We're not doing anything after this show.

461
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 1: We gotta open afternoons, buddy. A lot of people in

462
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: my life, like they tell me, they're like, you are

463
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: such a good friend, Like they're like, you're one of

464
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: the best friends I've ever seen. And I think that's

465
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: why I love people so hard like I don't because

466
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: it's like that's how much I want it's often a

467
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: mirror of who you are. What you admiration for somebody

468
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 1: is a mirror really of who you are. And yeah,

469
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: and like you are somebody when you think of people

470
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: who really truly deserve love, like you are one. You

471
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: are you give with your heart, Amy, you are one too.

472
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 1: You guys give with your heart. Just sex to sec

473
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: But what do we do? What does she do? I

474
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything to do. It's not a control thing.

475
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: It's not I think it's just honestly, this sounds woo woo,

476
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: but but it's a universe thing. Is that you just

477
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: keep being you. Whatever is going on right now, you

478
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: might not understand, but the proper person will find you,

479
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 1: and you don't have to find them. I always thought

480
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: I had to find them, like I would look up

481
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: at the stars and be like, hey, that person's out there.

482
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: Where are they? I gotta go in this room. Maybe

483
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: it's not I gotta go here, like, where are they?

484
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 1: I gotta find them? And it wasn't. It was I

485
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 1: didn't find them. A friend of mine tried to set

486
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: us up for a month. We both said no, and

487
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm sick and tired of this I'm setting

488
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: you guys up and then we're like okay, And that

489
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: was the universe sort of just putting us together. And

490
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 1: I believe that will happen for you. You're an exceptional human.

491
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: Keep being an exceptional human to your friends, to your family,

492
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: and then also allow yourself to open up and be

493
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: vulnerable enough to receive love. How long ago did that

494
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: relationship end? That was the like five years ago? Wow?

495
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: So my thought on this is that somewhere in your

496
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 1: subconscious guards or weapons or fences or walls, whatever you

497
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 1: want to from that traumatic experience are still somewhat present,

498
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 1: and maybe they show up and avoidance, maybe they show

499
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: up in filling schedule so tight that you can't like,

500
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: they might manifest in other ways that It's like, I've

501
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: actually listened to a podcast last night about how trauma

502
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: shows up in ways other than just sleep terror. T

503
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: I want to just acknowledge you for being vulnerable with

504
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: us and opening up about this because I think a

505
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 1: lot of our listeners will probably find themselves in you,

506
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: and I'm want to get more into your story after

507
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 1: we take a quick break back from break. My name

508
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 1: is Brooks, like in studio with Mr Gavin Degras. Hello,

509
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,360
Speaker 1: our dear friend Tanya rad who I want to applaud.

510
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: I want to applaud you because she just sat here

511
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: and opened her heart and I hope that our listeners

512
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 1: can feel that and see themselves anybody going through the

513
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: same thing. That's the point of this show is to

514
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: try and positively impact the lives of our listeners, and

515
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: we bring people in the studio that open up in

516
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: our vulnerable So high five to you. I appreciate your girl.

517
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: So I think you're too hard on yourself. Really, I

518
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: think you're you're trying to find this man, which I

519
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 1: tried to because this is this is full transparent, this

520
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: is from my story. I tried to find this woman

521
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,479
Speaker 1: almost like manifest like poof. I'm so I want this

522
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: person so bad that I'm gonna make her be in

523
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: this room or I'm going to try and make this

524
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: person in the room fit into what she is. Um

525
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 1: do you believe that you're sometimes a little too hard

526
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: and you don't allow the universe enough grace to position

527
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 1: you in the place where you're supposed to be. I

528
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: think I'm an overthinker for sure. And it's funny because

529
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: I'll go to the place of I I do. I

530
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: have such a strong faith, and it's really crazy because

531
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: I will I when I meet somebody new, I'll pray

532
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: on it. Like ill, that's the first thing I do,

533
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: is I just like pray on it. And like the

534
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: way that God has moved in my life and moved

535
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: men out of my life quickly that weren't meant for me.

536
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: It's truly like such a testimony. Like it's really crazy.

537
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: So when things end, I tend to get a little

538
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: bit um Like obviously, I get upset and I get down,

539
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,479
Speaker 1: and then I get feel defeated. So then I give

540
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,360
Speaker 1: myself a beat and then I'll be like, Okay, I'm

541
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: good now. And then i'll like actively pursue and I'll

542
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: like go to a bar and I'll be like I'm

543
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: gonna meet somebody tonight or like you know what I mean,

544
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 1: Like I go through these ebbs and flows where I

545
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: like I'm really proactive or I'm or I'm like nodden

546
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: in it at all, Like I don't know the balance

547
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: of just like but you're not like praying in the bar,

548
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: right because that would look weird, all right, I don't know.

549
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: I can only offer like personal experience So when I

550
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: went through a life change, a pivotal life changing moment,

551
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: in a big awareness moment in my life when I

552
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: was twenty eight, the first thing that I kind of

553
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,719
Speaker 1: just stripped my life down to the foundation of I

554
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 1: just want to accept and appreciate people. I want to

555
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: live with gratitude, and then I want to accept and

556
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: I want to appreciate people. And it it changed the

557
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: lens on how I looked at people. I didn't look

558
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: at this person as that could be a potential mate,

559
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: that could be a potential mate, that could be a

560
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: potential mate. I looked at that's a beautiful human being.

561
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful human being. That's a beautiful human being.

562
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 1: And then found that I was just gravitating towards and

563
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: moving towards certain energies and it ended up eventually being

564
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: I met Julianne about a year and a half later.

565
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: But I just changed my lens from looking for that

566
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: person to just appreciating people as they are, and it

567
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: really helped me connect in a way that I was

568
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: never able to. And do you worry about finding that

569
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: person or a girlfriend or a wife, I don't know

570
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: what everybody's so worried about I think you do and

571
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: you don't. I think I think that I want. I

572
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: want what everybody else wants, sort of traditionally speaking, you

573
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: know you want you want a real relationship, you want kids,

574
00:29:53,960 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: you want a household. Um. But sometimes sometimes I I

575
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: also have to look at the reality of things. You know,

576
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: you ever think you ever think to yourself, you know

577
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: what I want. Here's where I always thought I wanted.

578
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a ranch, I'm gonna have a bunch

579
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: of horses, I'm gonna have the hottest wife, I'm gonna

580
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: have the strongest kids, you know what I'm saying. And

581
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: then you go out and you look at a farm,

582
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: and you go property, honey, and you take you get

583
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: in the truck and you go out and you find

584
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: a dream property and you hang out there for like

585
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: an hour after the realtor leaves. You know what goes

586
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: through my mind. I'm so fighting bored out here. Yeah,

587
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm like, this is awesome.

588
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm so bored because it's but it's only here right now.

589
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: It's only one element of everything you want. It is

590
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: it is only one element true Because I'll say this,

591
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: you could be in a blank room with the person

592
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: you love and have the best time ever. It's not

593
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: about environment, Like I don't disagree with you there, but

594
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: but you're right, there is only one element of the

595
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: things that you love. But I've sort of removed the

596
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: expectations of what it's supposed to look like to you

597
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And and uh, you know, it's

598
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 1: it's less about the picture I've painted where the pieces

599
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: are supposed to fit into place. What if what if

600
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: you thought about you don't find that person, you don't

601
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: find that one husband. What if you so that's the

602
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: ultimate scary thought. What if you think, Okay, I'm gonna

603
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: maybe I'm going to meet ten people throughout the rest

604
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,719
Speaker 1: of my life that I fall in love with and

605
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: have relationships with. I think that I've I've come a

606
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: long way in terms of like I too had like

607
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: I would know what my wedding was going to look

608
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: like and what my color my bridesmaid dresses were going

609
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: to be. And now I'm like, so far, I've come

610
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: so far from that perspective of like, this is what

611
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: my life is going to look like and I have

612
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: it all planned out. I don't and I don't even

613
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: care about that stuff anymore. To be honest, Like if

614
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 1: somebody says that, do you want to big or small?

615
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, because I think it's all

616
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: going to depend on on the person that I marry,

617
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: you know. But I do think that it's such a

618
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 1: desire of my heart to have a teammate and to

619
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: have a partner and to do life with somebody. So

620
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: I will not change my perspective on that, um because

621
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: I feel like when we get such like something planted

622
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: so deep in us, I think it's it's a pursuit.

623
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: It's almost like how I've pursued my career. Um, So

624
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily want to change my perspective on that.

625
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: And I do desire to have a family. So but

626
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: what that looks like, I don't know, Like if if

627
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 1: it's having my own children, if it's adopting children, if

628
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: it's marrying somebody with children already, like I don't that

629
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: might look different. But I know it's a desire of

630
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 1: my heart so that I will have that. Well, we

631
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 1: all have to face that that sort of that line,

632
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: that's that dividing line of ideal versus real, and we

633
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: all have an ideal, you know, in our in our mind. Oh,

634
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: ideally it could look like this. This is my fantasy.

635
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: It's the thing we grew up with, not just the

636
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 1: thing we grew up with, it's the thing we were sold,

637
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: the thing we were marketed, you know, since we were kids.

638
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: You know, what a family is supposed to look like,

639
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: what the ideal homes would look like, what the ideal

640
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: relationships of the parents would be like, and you know

641
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 1: what I mean, like yeah, and so and so we've

642
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: been given the the sort of formula of what it

643
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: should be. And of course that was made for TV,

644
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: most of it, and or told to us at church,

645
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: and you know, and there's reasons that those stories ended

646
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: up in the Bible. You know, they were like good

647
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: enough to tell you know what I mean repeatedly for

648
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: many years. And so we had these ideas of what

649
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: some of these stories should be with some of these

650
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: relationships could be. And so we have to, of course,

651
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 1: at one point or another, face the music in real

652
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: life and say, well, this is it is liquid. Life

653
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: is liquid. Things are moving, and variables change, and we

654
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: relocate and we get new jobs, and we get older

655
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 1: and the many different things, you know, so came into

656
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: my mind when was saying that as like Facebook and Instagram,

657
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: you see everyone posting their perfect family and their perfect

658
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: kids and their perfect relationship, and they're also full of

659
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: He's right, come on, everybody's doing this and not everybody.

660
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: It's a generalization family photos on Facebook that Tanya has

661
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: to look at who have terrible relationships, the husband's abuse.

662
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: If that is true, and we are inundated with this

663
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: perfection in our faces and it is not real. Yeah,

664
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: but that's that's just if you choose to believe that's true.

665
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: And like, to me, I can look at the funny

666
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: and not believe something that's in your face every day, Brooks, Like,

667
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: I get where you're coming from, and not everybody has

668
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: a perfect relationship like you. I don't. I don't, come on,

669
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 1: you play, Come on. What I'm saying is you happen

670
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 1: to have something that you both work really hard for.

671
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 1: That's ideal. But people have to look at Facebook and

672
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: see these images in their face, and you you do

673
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,479
Speaker 1: have that feeling of like everybody has this but me,

674
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: but it is not real because I know those people

675
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: and I'm on the phone with them about their marriages. Well,

676
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: here's here's my thoughts to that like, I didn't sign

677
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 1: up to have a marriage where I didn't get photos

678
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: to post on social media or beautiful photos. I actually

679
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 1: signed up for the times that people don't see. That's

680
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: the actual like truth. But that's that's you. Yeah, that's

681
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: that's you. You're a deeper guy. But what we're I

682
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 1: think what we're saying is that we're sort of inundated

683
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 1: with the optics of perfection that people are putting out

684
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: in their private lives, which are actually complete falsehooge of

685
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: what their lives really are, right, because we all we well,

686
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,280
Speaker 1: the reality is sort of like let's let's for for

687
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: for hyperbolic speak, we all smile for a picture, right

688
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 1: to look happy. So and that's what people essentially are

689
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: doing on social media. They're showing showing us their best

690
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: and so we're all sold everybody's best. So we're hoping that.

691
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: So we're thinking, oh, they look really happy, their life

692
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: looks great. So that's sort of that's sort of the

693
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: mountain that we're looking we're all looking at sort of

694
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: a relationship wise. Why isn't it lining up, Why doesn't

695
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 1: it look like their private life. It's interesting because that's

696
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: the number one thing that I get messages about is

697
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: from girls being like, thank you so much for because

698
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: I am a really positive person. I am honestly, I'm

699
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 1: genuinely happy, and I choose to live my life that way,

700
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 1: but I do there are moments where I get really

701
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: upset and and hurt, and I expressed that like I'm like,

702
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: this sucks and I feel terrible. Well, I think part

703
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: of your happiness is that you're you seem sincere, and

704
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: you're okay with showing people the other parts of you.

705
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't show the other parts of themselves,

706
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: and so they're suppressing those emotions and they're happy. I

707
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: think that their overall happiness will suffer because it is

708
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: so guarded, do you know what I mean? And so

709
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 1: I think that's part of part of your happiness is

710
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: that you're okay with being very truthful about your your emotions.

711
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: You're getting it out of your body somehow, you know

712
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: what I mean. You're letting it out and you're sharing it,

713
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: and so that's admirable. Yeah, it sucks. It's also very

714
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: easy to criticize. It's I get that part of it too,

715
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: but it's I'm also like, it's actually a lot easier

716
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: for me to kind of like lack at that. So

717
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you're going to make fun of me

718
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: for wanting to like find a badass partner in life, like,

719
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: don't ever apologize totally, don't ever settle anybody out there,

720
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: don't ever apologize for that, and don't ever settle. I

721
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: want to bring it back to um. One thing you

722
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier that I want to acknowledge is that you

723
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: said you don't know what your wedding dress is gonna

724
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: look like. Now you don't know if you want a bigger,

725
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: small wedding. You don't because I see myself in that.

726
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: I see that I had a mindset of what my

727
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: relationship an ideal as you said GAV was supposed to be,

728
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 1: and I see you softening the grip on that and

729
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 1: now it being like, I don't know exactly what it's

730
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: going to be because this person. I don't know exactly

731
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: what this person is going to be. Maybe we just alope,

732
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,720
Speaker 1: maybe we don't. Maybe we have a really big wedding,

733
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: maybe it's a Greek wedding totally. And like you, guys,

734
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: if you would have met me like I was, do

735
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: you watch friends? What's that the show. I'm just kidding.

736
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: So like Monica Geller, I've seen I've seen friends Monica

737
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: Geller with the like notebook. These are my flowers. These

738
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: are going to be the center piece. This is what

739
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: my dress is gonna look like. This is at Internet

740
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: like I had it all. Is that what you bring

741
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: to your first dates? Yeah? I'm like, yeah, does this

742
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 1: look like something that you would like to because it's

743
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: that's fine. I was. I know this is switching a

744
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: little bit, but I think one of the things we

745
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,399
Speaker 1: started with at the top that I wanted to get

746
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: from Gavin and Brooks is is there an issue with

747
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 1: in with women who are in powerful, successful, money making

748
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: jobs as an issue in relationships? Great question? Um, not

749
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: for me, but you know, I mean I have no

750
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: issue with it. I mean, I don't see what the

751
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: issue is. So do you So what is the issue

752
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: with that? Like my wife is so yeah? So the

753
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:31,439
Speaker 1: issue was sweet. I hung out with guys that make

754
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 1: less money than me significantly and it did not work.

755
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: I it did not work. It put me way too

756
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: in the masculine. I hated having to bring out my

757
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 1: credit cards. Oh I would love that. Are you kidding me?

758
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: Buy me some coffee right now people they were more

759
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: like friends. But it's like I remembered that friend. This

760
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 1: is years ago and the way I felt, and I

761
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: knew this is not going to work for me. Now

762
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,399
Speaker 1: I think if you're close, you're fine, Like how big

763
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: of a gap? Like you'd buy dinner and he'd like

764
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,719
Speaker 1: could I keep the change? Like they had nothing, But

765
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: it was so in your in your mind, you don't

766
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 1: think I started to feel like taking advantage of and

767
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: it was the worst. I was like, I can't deal

768
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: with this. Or did you feel like it was almost

769
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: all about getting free free meals like that? So why

770
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: do you think a man shouldn't feel that if he's

771
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: taking care of a woman. That's what I don't know.

772
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: That's why I'm asking you, guys, why why is it

773
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:34,760
Speaker 1: okay for why? And I don't know if just traditionally

774
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: because it's more masculine to take care of the woman.

775
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: Like I went to dinner the other night on this

776
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: like amazing romantic dinner and he sort of ordered for me,

777
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: like he knew what I wanted, but he ordered and

778
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: it was I loved every second of it. I was like,

779
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love this. So there is something

780
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: about that he was taking care of it like he wasn't.

781
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: It wasn't like he asked me what I wanted, but

782
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: then he ordered it and we're going to this and

783
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 1: she would love this, and it was just so I felt.

784
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: So I loved every second event. So maybe there is

785
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: something to feeling feminine and feeling masculine. I believe that.

786
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: But why does that have to come into or the

787
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: question is why does does that specific to finances and success? About?

788
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: Like what about? Good question? Okay, so here's my here's

789
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,240
Speaker 1: my take on it. So when I was playing hockey,

790
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: I was making more money than my wife. My wife

791
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 1: is a very successful entrepreneur, actress, dancer, singer, you name it.

792
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: She's a list goes on and on. But when I

793
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 1: was playing hockey, I was making more money than her.

794
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: Now that I'm not playing hockey and all of our

795
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,959
Speaker 1: podcast money is going towards Gavin's grotto, um my grottos matter,

796
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: my wife is making way more money than me right now.

797
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: But I am actually fine with that. I love it

798
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: because I love my wife and fully support her in

799
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: everything she does. And for me to take that as

800
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: a reflection on me of like, oh God, she's making

801
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: more money than me. I think it's a selfish act

802
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: of my own and an insecure act if I were

803
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: to do that, and that is now making her career

804
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: about me. And I don't think a lot of men

805
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 1: on the words right now because you know that there

806
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: was that time when you were more successful, and you

807
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: know that you achieved in your field almost the maximum. Yeah,

808
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 1: but now I'm also I acknowledge that she's also worked hard,

809
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,760
Speaker 1: and I can't discredit anything she's done. She's earned everything

810
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 1: that she's doing right now. I also believe that careers

811
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: are cyclical, like I'm on now in a reinvention pivoting

812
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: place in my life where I'm now stepping into like

813
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 1: phase two. I've had almost first retirement from hockey and

814
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 1: now I'm now I'm starting over from like the bottom

815
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: again and I need to build a new career. And

816
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,879
Speaker 1: so for me to now compare myself to her she's

817
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: making more money than me, I think it's just an

818
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: irrelevant thing to do. I think you need to look that.

819
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: I also, so I was saying it's irrelevant. Sounds good,

820
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 1: that's great. I'll also say this as a disclaimer that

821
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 1: I have money in my bank account that I can

822
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: still do things for my wife even though I'm not

823
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: making my salary, that I am playing hockey, so like

824
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: when we go to supper, go out for a date night,

825
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 1: like I love paying because I love treating her t

826
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question, have you ever has

827
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:26,399
Speaker 1: your success ever been an issue and financial success with

828
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 1: a partner somebody where you you were seeing has that

829
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: stress showed up in a relationship before? If I had

830
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: to give to you, give you the honest answer. The

831
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: last like serious relationship that I had, I wasn't this successful,

832
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: like truly, I was making maybe half maybe a third

833
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: of what I make now, So he was way more

834
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 1: successful than me. This is my path. These are like

835
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: I haven't been in a committed relationships since then, so

836
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 1: I don't I can't accurately answer that. I think all

837
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 1: your money on yourself since then? Pretty much? Yeah, just

838
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 1: just all me feeling. But but what I think selfish

839
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: keep going, Um what I think I do think that

840
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: it could play a part, But I just I don't

841
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 1: know because I haven't really like dated anybody for a

842
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: significant amount of time. So you would go on a

843
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: date with somebody that makes less money than you yeah,

844
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I have. And you'd go on a date

845
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: with somebody that makes more money than you. Yeah, So

846
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 1: what what questions do you want to us? Ask us?

847
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: Men um, because you say it's kind of maybe played

848
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: a role, but not exactly. Sure, Yeah, and Amy you

849
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,479
Speaker 1: for sure you say it can't work where the woman

850
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: makes more than the man. It would just be uncomfortable.

851
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: I think it would be more uncomfortable probably for the

852
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: person with less money than the person with more money.

853
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I mean, I've been I've

854
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: been in that position where I just, we know, was

855
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: broke dating somebody who was just making a ton of money.

856
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 1: You know, I felt uncomfortable, and I think I didn't.

857
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: I didn't think. I just felt broke. I didn't feel

858
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: like I wasn't sufficient. I was just kind of uncomfortable

859
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,919
Speaker 1: going to really nice dinners like I don't belong here?

860
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: Which hand do I hold the fork in? Here's what? Well,

861
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: Here's one thing I want to say is that as

862
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 1: independent and successful women that you guys are, you with

863
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: that comes an inherent standard of living that you've now

864
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: become accustomed to. And I love that you guys are

865
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: able to provide that for yourselves, and I'm not speaking

866
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 1: for you too. I'm just putting a thought out there

867
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 1: is that if you're able to hold yourself to that

868
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: standard of living, that doesn't mean that any man or

869
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 1: woman is also capable of holding you, flying you first class,

870
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: staying in a five star restaurant or hotel. Maybe they're

871
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 1: a school teacher and they pour their heart and soul

872
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: into that, but their career just does not afford them

873
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 1: the same amount of money. So to hold any ill

874
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: will And I'm not saying you guys do, but I'm

875
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 1: just saying this for our community, to hold any ill

876
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: will that you out earned somebody, Um, I don't think

877
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: is is fair. It's not fair. I agree with that. Well,

878
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: how about this though, let's let's point. Let's let's point

879
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: not fair. So right, but I'm saying I think there

880
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: are relationships where it causes problems. I agree. East. We

881
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: were talking. I wanted this is our just dynamite engineer.

882
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 1: Mr Easton East Now right here, we were talking earlier

883
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 1: about this and you said there was a stage in

884
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: your life as the stage that I'm in right now,

885
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:41,479
Speaker 1: where your wife out earned you and it actually affected you. Well, yeah,

886
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: like I Uh. I mean, I'm the I'm a breadwinner

887
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: of the family from the vagant, but there there was

888
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 1: a point not long ago where my wife was making

889
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 1: more than me. And I like to think of myself

890
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: as a progressive guy. I'd like to think that I'm

891
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: I'm an evolved man. But but I felt at that time,

892
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: I felt like that I wasn't taking care of her,

893
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: uh the right way, you know. And and there wasn't

894
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: a problem in our marriage or anything, or we were

895
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: married at that time, but like in a relationship, there

896
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: wasn't a problem. But I could feel like my like

897
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: ego go there by default, you know, like the cave

898
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: man part of me was like, you know, like a

899
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: woman need protection. I am not doing that now. And

900
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 1: that that's interesting, you know. So so a friend of

901
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 1: mine is like, uh, a tough guy, you know, like

902
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: like a professional tough guy, right and uh, and um,

903
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: the woman he was dating was making him feel like, uh,

904
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: he was not enough because he wasn't making enough money. Interesting,

905
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: But I said to him, but you're providing. She's not

906
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: paying attention into what you're providing, which is she knows

907
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: that if similar were to break into your home, say

908
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 1: even if multiple people broke into your home, it wouldn't

909
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: really be an issue for her because you're there. So

910
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 1: there's things that you're providing being in that house that

911
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: aren't money that she can depend on, and and you

912
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: just need to let her know that that's your worth,

913
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: that's part of your value. You're bringing a value. It

914
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be monetary. And so and I think

915
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: that we sort of forget that we have sort of

916
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: the these these other uh bank accounts of value. We

917
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: all have them, and it shouldn't be a number. It's

918
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 1: interesting you said that because for me, it's not so

919
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: much of a financial thing. It's more of like I

920
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: feel like when somebody's making like if you if I'm

921
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 1: dating somebody and they're so passionate and purposeful and like

922
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: in their job, in their life, and like, to me,

923
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 1: that's so much more attractive. Like if he has that

924
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: and he makes not a lot of money, like I don't,

925
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: that doesn't it's more about like passion and drive, because

926
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: I think sometimes if somebody's making not a lot of

927
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,239
Speaker 1: money and they hate their job and they kind of like,

928
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, kind of a kind of up I don't

929
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: want to say, like moping through life to me, that

930
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: question there that's a little bit like of a boner killer,

931
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 1: you know, Like I'm like I don't want to date that,

932
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:30,919
Speaker 1: you know, right, But it's more like not so much

933
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: financial as like sometimes success is measured in different ways,

934
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 1: you know, and what be Yeah, they can they can

935
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,399
Speaker 1: be giving you that other thing. I love what you said.

936
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: He's so much. We're trying to just like we're trying

937
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: to figure out why men think this, why men have this.

938
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 1: What you said Eastern it's real. If if if a

939
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: woman out earns a man, I think it is real.

940
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 1: Like even right now, it's not that I look and

941
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,760
Speaker 1: I'm comparing myself to my wife, but I'm like, okay,

942
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: let's let's get up and go. I gotta do something,

943
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: And just looking at myself, I'm trying to think, like

944
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:08,240
Speaker 1: why is that versus me just saying I'm just gonna

945
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: chill for a while because i just made X amount

946
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 1: of millions of dollars playing hockey and I'm just gonna coast.

947
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 1: But there I could do that, just set that I

948
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: could do that. But there is something inherenting me that's like, wow,

949
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: my wife is really doing these big deals, getting big projects,

950
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 1: like I gotta get back going here. And I think

951
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 1: it's just the I think men and women, but like

952
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm just speaking for men. Here's men inherently within their

953
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 1: core and their hearts love to and yearn to provide, protect, love,

954
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 1: empower all of that and so and part of that

955
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: is financial. Undoubtedly a large part I think is financial.

956
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: And so it's almost impossible, based on our d n

957
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 1: A or Janet or the fabric of who we are

958
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: as a man um to not feel that. It's also

959
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: the optics of it. I remember now, I had a

960
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: flashback of being like at dinner with a couple of

961
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: people when I was hanging out with these guys, and

962
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,399
Speaker 1: I remember saying, can you just take my credit card

963
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: and pay the bill? Like I remember it was like

964
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,959
Speaker 1: I just don't want to just use my credit card

965
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: and just can you pay the bill and sign it.

966
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: I literally hated the feeling of having to always be

967
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 1: the one that's like, oh, let me do it. Here

968
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: comes like the it felt manly, let me go with

969
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: this for a second. So why why is that instead

970
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: of like I really get gratitude out of like paying

971
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: for this, like it's it's is it? Because I think

972
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: it's because the energy with that person is not right.

973
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 1: I don't think it's something financial. I think it's It's

974
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 1: what you're talking about, Tanya, is that if somebody loves

975
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: their career and is lit up by it, even though

976
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: they make for you because of the quality of person

977
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 1: you are, and same with you, Um, it's measured, You're

978
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: going to measure it enjoy, not financial. I also think

979
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 1: for women it can kind of be like sometimes like

980
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:12,320
Speaker 1: I feel like I could be motherly, not so much manly,

981
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 1: just motherly, and I don't want to be a mom

982
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:20,240
Speaker 1: to my partner non episode or or But even even

983
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 1: with that, the flip side of that is sometimes looking

984
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: at man like he's your father. Yeah that is a

985
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 1: real thing. Oh it's gross, Like I'm the little girl

986
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: Like no, no, it's like like you like sometimes I

987
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 1: just got so the caretaker of the woman and you're like, yeah,

988
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 1: that's but like sometimes guys do things that's because they

989
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,439
Speaker 1: love you, and a girl is like, you're not my dad.

990
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: Don't do that. I'm like, I'm I'm not your dad.

991
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to be your dad. Or sometimes they

992
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: do want their dad. I don't know. Now we're really

993
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: getting and I mean you're saying a little bit. I

994
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 1: do want to date someone that's like my like has

995
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: the quality of my father, but I don't want to

996
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 1: date my father. So that's kind of perfect question for you, Tana,

997
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: if you could speak to the men out there, the

998
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: single eligible bachelor's or the men out there on how

999
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 1: they would want how you would want them to approach

1000
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 1: you or not approach you, but like have an energy

1001
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 1: on a date. Knowing that you are a very successful

1002
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:30,799
Speaker 1: and independent woman, what would you ask of men? Let

1003
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: me answer this for you. I'm just kidding. I'm curious

1004
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 1: to what you're gonna say. You imagine I got this.

1005
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: Let no, let me do this for you. Just being

1006
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 1: very intentional. That's like my biggest thing with men is

1007
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: like being very transparent and intentional in regards to their feelings,

1008
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: in regards to their their expectations, their purpose. Yeah, like

1009
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 1: I get obviously for a second date, like you know,

1010
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 1: you're just getting to know somebody, But beyond that, I

1011
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: think just kind of communicating and just being like also

1012
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:08,959
Speaker 1: just like nothing is annoying to me more than saying,

1013
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 1: like what are you doing on Wednesday? It's like, well,

1014
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 1: let's like I feel like I'd love to take you out,

1015
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 1: you know, like, let's like actually make a little more assertive.

1016
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 1: I think Tory and I were talking about this, but

1017
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: like I think man can be more assertive in some

1018
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 1: ways and but not dominating. Like you said when the

1019
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 1: guy ordered for you, like he'd asked you what you

1020
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,399
Speaker 1: would want, like he'd like, we would like to have

1021
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 1: guy on the planet. I think I think men can

1022
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 1: do that in a really graceful and subtle way. And

1023
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 1: I think, like I love a guy saying like, what

1024
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 1: are you doing Tuesday? I'd love to take you to dinner?

1025
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: And then the flip side, he does that for me

1026
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: and then I do it from him, like I want

1027
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 1: to show you my part of town. I'm going to

1028
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 1: take you on a bar tour of studio city? Are

1029
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:52,360
Speaker 1: you in? Like you know what I mean, Like I

1030
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 1: think it takes I mean both people doing it. So

1031
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,720
Speaker 1: when I hear you talk, I feel like you approach

1032
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,919
Speaker 1: those like that because that's what you're back. So that's

1033
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm I'm feeling like you are straightforward and transparent, be

1034
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: like I really like you. That does it ever put

1035
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 1: man off? Does it ever? Like scared? Because because here's

1036
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 1: from from my standpoint, if I'm actually a good dude

1037
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: and I'm interested in that person, it's gonna draw me

1038
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: to them, and it's a great this is it's almost

1039
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 1: a great filter. If I'm just a dude out looking

1040
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: for whatever, I got nothing going on on Tuesday night,

1041
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 1: and maybe this girl's cute, and who knows, I'm gonna

1042
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 1: be like, whoa, I'm gonna text this other person or

1043
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: something like That's probably what I'm gonna do. I think

1044
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: it's a great filter from a woman's standpoint, to not

1045
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,399
Speaker 1: disclose or put out there exactly what your intentions are,

1046
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: but to be like, I'm really enjoying spending time with you,

1047
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 1: I would like to do this with you again, or

1048
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:53,799
Speaker 1: can like there's this we always talk about this on

1049
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 1: the show. There's subtle ways to communicate directly versus overbearing

1050
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: ways to throw things in your face. Yeah, and I

1051
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,399
Speaker 1: feel like you do that, and any guy that's worth

1052
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 1: sitting at that table with you and that is actually

1053
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 1: really into you and curious and intrigued by you will

1054
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: respond to that and reciprocate that. Yeah. I mean, I

1055
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 1: think somehow the lesson of this is like everybody should

1056
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 1: be communicating. I don't. I don't disagree with that better, Like, yeah,

1057
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 1: if you just want someone for one night, like just

1058
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 1: tell him. I mean, right, But isn't it kind of

1059
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:30,800
Speaker 1: like an audition? I mean, I mean, we have you

1060
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:34,799
Speaker 1: have you got You've gone on some auditions in your life, right, right?

1061
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: And what happens when you don't get it? Did they

1062
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 1: always call you in and say you didn't get it?

1063
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 1: Or you know what I mean? It's sort of the

1064
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 1: silence is the communication in a way, and and and

1065
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: it's just I know, I know that sounds I know

1066
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: that sounds a little too raw, but the reality is

1067
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 1: it's it's I was doing that for years, sleeping around

1068
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 1: like that, Yeah, sleeping with guys, wanting more more, wanting

1069
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: more from them and not getting it. Be like why

1070
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 1: did they want to date me? It's like, well, duh,

1071
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: Well I don't say duh on that, but okay, well

1072
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: for me that that was my experience because my situation

1073
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,360
Speaker 1: is different whatever, But I still think it's like, really,

1074
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 1: I owe an email to a stranger who just like

1075
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 1: cold emailed me about something for work, But this guy

1076
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 1: had a relationship with doesn't have to call me. That's weird.

1077
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 1: It's just it's just it's not work. Though it's a bigail.

1078
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 1: I love how you. I love how you even though

1079
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: I vehemently disagree with you take the other side. Sometimes

1080
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: I'm just being I'm just being Devil's advocate, you know.

1081
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: I mean, if if I go if I went to

1082
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 1: an audition right for something, you know, if I was

1083
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 1: an actor and I went on on on an audition,

1084
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: the casting director isn't going to call me up and say, hey, man,

1085
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 1: you didn't get the job. They just don't call you

1086
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: at all. You just don't get the job. And so

1087
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 1: here we are in the real world, right, and which

1088
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 1: is the same thing. And if you're not getting the job,

1089
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: nobody's calling. I don't disagree with you the way it

1090
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: should be, but I'm trying not to be critical of

1091
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: the reality that sometimes they these people a don't think

1092
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 1: it's worth their time or be don't want to stir

1093
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 1: the pot. They don't want you to think, oh wow,

1094
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: what a loss. What a nice guy to call me

1095
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 1: and tell me he's not interested. That really would have

1096
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: been a good one, you know what I'm saying. So

1097
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 1: maybe if they would have reached out and done that,

1098
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 1: you would have had that much more emotion for that person,

1099
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: because you'd be thinking, what a great one. I can't

1100
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 1: get them out of my mind now, boy, wow, I

1101
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 1: would have been really that was the one. It's easier

1102
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 1: for you to walk away when they're not contact on you,

1103
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: you don't think. So we can talk about this in

1104
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 1: the next episode, because that is a hundred Yeah, that's

1105
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 1: we can get back to this. That's interesting to me

1106
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: because because I think it would be harder, I think

1107
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 1: it's worse. I know Brooks is dying. We have to

1108
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: go talk to you guys. Know wait, wait, wait, let

1109
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: go because she's too busy to have a conversation or

1110
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 1: a relationship. A little Tanya schedule is filled up and

1111
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:22,080
Speaker 1: we can't have it. That's right, Tanya, we have time

1112
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes. She's wondering why no will marry her

1113
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: yet I take that back on part of our show.

1114
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 1: I apologize to that. I just want to say, Tanya,

1115
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 1: I love you, and I just want to thank you

1116
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 1: for being a an amazing person and a source of

1117
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: joy in my life and opening up for our community

1118
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 1: and hopefully inspiring them to do the same. And I

1119
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: pray for you that you're able to allow yourself to

1120
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 1: receive love. Thank you quickly before we go. Where can pay? Guys,

1121
00:59:56,240 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm here too, scrubbing in pod cast, Yeah, scrubbing in

1122
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 1: with Batellian, Tanya rad podcast and um every weekday morning

1123
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: on there you go and your social Yeah. You do

1124
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: a lot of fun dance videos and just you put

1125
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 1: fun stuff out. You and Brad Grasky and I've never

1126
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: been invited to one, and I'm kind of sad about that.

1127
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: You can come to our next one. Oh God, you

1128
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 1: don't want me, but I mean I want to see

1129
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 1: this so much for being here. We'd love to have

1130
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 1: you on again. You're one of my favorite people of

1131
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 1: all time. You want you do another one? Right now?

1132
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: She's busy. Thanks by guys. Want to share something with

1133
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 1: you that I absolutely love. This is luggage for modern travel.

1134
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: It's called Away luggage. It's a perfect suitcase with all

1135
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: the features that make travel the easiest. My wife and

1136
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 1: I were all over the map, are constantly traveling. You

1137
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 1: guys know that, and it's the perfect luggage for me.

1138
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: Away knows that everyone has a different travel style and

1139
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: that's why they make their carry on in an array

1140
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 1: of colors, two sizes and two different materials, a strong

1141
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: and flexible polycarbonet and analyzed aluminum. And I've used both

1142
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 1: of them and both are fantastic. You guys get a

1143
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: one day trial on everything Away makes, take it on

1144
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: on the road with you, travel with it, roll around

1145
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: if you decide it's not for you. You can return

1146
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: any non personalized item for a full refund free shipping

1147
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: on any Away order within the contiguous US, Europe and Australia.

1148
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: For that loved one in your life. Away makes the

1149
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: perfect gift. I use the carry on. It's a lightweight

1150
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 1: and durable shell that's made to last for a lifetime

1151
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 1: of travel. Remember, like Brooks said, the hundred day trial

1152
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: lets you try any Away product on the road. And

1153
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: you know, I like that because I can try it

1154
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: and be sure that I like it. It's got four

1155
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: three sixty degree spinner wheels that guarantee a smooth ride,

1156
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 1: t s a approved combination locks that keep your belongings safe.

1157
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: It's got an optional objectable battery to keep your phone charged,

1158
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: and a removable laundry bag to separate dirty clothes from

1159
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: clean clothes. Just things like the Swiss Army Knife of

1160
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: uit cases. Wow, Now I use what's called the bigger

1161
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 1: carry on. It's similar to what Ryan has, except mine

1162
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:08,160
Speaker 1: just happens to be a little bit bigger than his.

1163
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 1: And if you know what I'm talking about, you know

1164
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 1: that I'm saying that my suitcase is sized up to

1165
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: make the most of the overhead been I can imagine

1166
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 1: you think I'd be talking about something else. Anyway, The

1167
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 1: suitcase is durable, it's easy to carry up and downstairs

1168
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: because it's really lightweight. And the bigger carry on also

1169
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: has the wheels that don't stick, the laundry bag for

1170
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 1: the dirty clothes, and a built in lock that t

1171
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 1: s A won't question. And with four kids, I'm generally

1172
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,560
Speaker 1: not just packing for myself. I have some spill over.

1173
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: I have iPad stuffed animals, blankets, and it's good because

1174
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 1: I could fit my kids stuff in there too. Now

1175
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:38,959
Speaker 1: the whole family uses the way luggage. And what's really

1176
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 1: cool is we have different colors suitcases, so we always

1177
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 1: know who's is who's. It really limits the fighting. Obviously

1178
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 1: we still fight, but it's not about luggage. I traveled

1179
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 1: constantly for work, road trips to Tahoe, Carmel, Los Angeles,

1180
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: flights to Mexico. Manila, Alaska. The Away suitcase is designed

1181
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 1: the last of lifetime, and that matters to me. I

1182
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 1: want something that is durable, great quality, and if anything

1183
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:04,280
Speaker 1: breaks their way customer service team will have it fixed

1184
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: or replaced. You can visit the Away stores in New York, Austin,

1185
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Chicago, and London. I just

1186
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:16,080
Speaker 1: went to the Away store and SF and got exactly

1187
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: the suitcase I needed for an upcoming trip to Europe.

1188
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,840
Speaker 1: For twenty dollars off of suitcase, visit away travel dot

1189
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,960
Speaker 1: com slash h mt and use promo code h m

1190
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 1: T during checkout away travel dot com slash h mt.

1191
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 1: This is the perfect gift to buy for yourself or

1192
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,959
Speaker 1: for someone else for the holidays. Away travel dot Com

1193
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: slash hmt. Another heater of an episode. I Love Tanya Man,

1194
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 1: I love Tanya. I just one of my favorite things, honestly,

1195
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things in my life is my

1196
01:03:53,480 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 1: friendships with women, and I just want the world for them.

1197
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 1: I have other friends that are women that are single,

1198
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, can I just somehow me a dude

1199
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 1: that would just like, oh my god. I just want

1200
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 1: them to have a Gavin de graw in their life.

1201
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 1: What a liar, this man, It's such a great liar.

1202
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: I did love tany Man. I loved her. I love

1203
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 1: her sincerity. Man. She was so authentic and really searching

1204
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 1: and so open is searching and so open about her search.

1205
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 1: You know, it was really uh, it was really kind

1206
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,400
Speaker 1: of refreshing. It's it's super that's exact words on my mind.

1207
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:32,160
Speaker 1: It's super refreshing when somebody wears their heart on their

1208
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: sleeve and doing that, you open yourself up to some hurt. Right,

1209
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 1: There's gonna be some hurt and some rejection or whatever.

1210
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 1: But um, I think it's the only way to live.

1211
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:47,080
Speaker 1: And I admire her for her courage, really for her courage. So, Tanya,

1212
01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: we wish the best to you. Uh, single man, if

1213
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 1: you are a hell of a good dude, here's your number. No,

1214
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:57,040
Speaker 1: reach out to me, reach out to me on my Instagram.

1215
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: I'll filter you as out and then I'll connect you.

1216
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 1: But buddy, I love it. I love this podcast, man.

1217
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 1: I love what we're doing. I love and I hope

1218
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,480
Speaker 1: you as a listener you're getting value from it. And

1219
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 1: we hope that in any way that sometimes the topics

1220
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 1: are geared to this or that or whatever, but we

1221
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 1: hope you're able to pull a nugget from each episode

1222
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,600
Speaker 1: to positively impact the quality of your life. So, people

1223
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 1: driving in the car, the people listening at the gym

1224
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,680
Speaker 1: at home, I want to say thank you to you

1225
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: guys as a listener, and also Gav we've got an

1226
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 1: exciting announcement for those listeners. You know what it is

1227
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 1: we do. He doesn't even know it's You don't know

1228
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 1: it because mancy prompter in front of you like I do.

1229
01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:40,600
Speaker 1: Our engineer Easton Easton just wrote a note on my

1230
01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 1: prompter that says we have a new voicemail account, so

1231
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 1: our How Men Think listeners can call in and leave

1232
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 1: us a voicemail with your question you want us to answer.

1233
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:55,200
Speaker 1: The number is one eight eight eight four three zero

1234
01:05:55,760 --> 01:06:00,480
Speaker 1: seventy seven. Once again it's one eight eight or three

1235
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: zero sevent seventy seven. So you can call in, leave

1236
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,240
Speaker 1: us a voicemail with your questions will answer them on air.

1237
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:09,920
Speaker 1: You can also send us an email at men at

1238
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:13,400
Speaker 1: I Heart radio dot com and then on our Instagram

1239
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:16,840
Speaker 1: How Men Think podcast. So lovely, guys, you got the

1240
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 1: hands on that nice chicken sandwich there, but it's pretty good,

1241
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 1: doesn't It looks tasty. I can't wait to touch on

1242
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 1: your mom. Yeah, the nice folks from Los Poyas Hermana

1243
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:27,439
Speaker 1: sent over chicken sandwiches and I know what you're thinking,

1244
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 1: that's the restaurant from Breaking Bad. Well, the restaurants come

1245
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 1: to life now Los Poyas Hermanus you can you can

1246
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 1: get it from Uber eats. Uh and you can have

1247
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: the a b Q Hot chicken sandwich, the fring fries.

1248
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:42,919
Speaker 1: I've got some here right in front of me and

1249
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 1: the pios tenders just like they have on the show.

1250
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 1: And that's gonna be on Uber Eats, available in Los Angeles,

1251
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 1: and then it's moving on to San Francisco, Oakland, San Diego,

1252
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 1: Las Vegas, and Chicago. And Uber Eats is offering one

1253
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,600
Speaker 1: week or free delivery every month on all Los Poios

1254
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,920
Speaker 1: Frmano orders during this six month partnership. So this is

1255
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 1: happening over the next six months. It starts, it's started

1256
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: started on so it's going right now. Uh So check

1257
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 1: it out. The sandwiches are really good and it's so

1258
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 1: much fun to um to have a taste of a

1259
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 1: show about making meth and have the have the restaurant

1260
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,520
Speaker 1: there with you. But that's why you have a Dured

1261
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 1: Gaves voice in the last thirty seconds, because he's a

1262
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 1: bunch in this doing. You see chicken and I've Got,

1263
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:27,919
Speaker 1: it's got like it's got like a little buffalo sent

1264
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:30,280
Speaker 1: to it, and it just makes me salivate. So that's

1265
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 1: where this episode ends. I'm gonna wrap, Thank you, guys.

1266
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 1: Until next week, guys, take care of one another, love

1267
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 1: one another. We'll see you right back here at How

1268
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:39,120
Speaker 1: Men Think See You