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Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two. It's Golden Bachelorette. Joe Basso's

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Speaker 1: taking over and I'm here in San Francisco ahead of

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Speaker 1: the big Game. The atmosphere is just full of energy.

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Speaker 1: We're actually here with some fellow Bachelor alums, so we're

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Speaker 1: having a great time reconnecting. And then we get to

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Speaker 1: meet and spend some time with some stars from Bravo.

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Speaker 1: We had a party with them last night over in

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Speaker 1: Sasolito overlooking the city. It was just full of light

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Speaker 1: and so beautiful. And we're having such a great time

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Speaker 1: celebrating ahead of the big game. And people ask me

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Speaker 1: all the time since I do cooking videos, is like,

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Speaker 1: what is my favorite food to make for the big game?

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Speaker 1: For the parties that we have, And first of all,

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Speaker 1: I love to host a football party because I am

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Speaker 1: a football fan. Unfortunately, right now, I am a Commander's fan.

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Speaker 1: I've been one for all my life and we have

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Speaker 1: not had a big game appearance in a lot of years.

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Speaker 1: But I'm a faithful fan. So my family will beginning

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Speaker 1: together to watch the game. And I love making dips,

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Speaker 1: so my favorite is of a daily onion dep If

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Speaker 1: you want the recipe, it's on my Instagram, otherwise you

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Speaker 1: can DM me and I'll send it to you. It's delicious.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of famous amongst my family and friends. So

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Speaker 1: that's my favorite thing to do. But I like to

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Speaker 1: get down to some of the questions that you guys

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Speaker 1: have sent in for me, because they are really good

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Speaker 1: and it kind of describes a lot of what happens

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Speaker 1: after you've been on the Golden after you've been the

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Speaker 1: Golden Bachelorette, and after you get engaged. So the first

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Speaker 1: one is from Tracy forty eight, and she's asking, do

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Speaker 1: you get tired of having to prove that you and

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Speaker 1: Chalk are still a couple? And that is such a

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Speaker 1: good question because I do feel very invested in making

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Speaker 1: sure everybody knows that we are still really good, but

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Speaker 1: like I have to balance that with kind of living

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Speaker 1: in the moment so people invested in our journey. It's

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Speaker 1: so flattering that people care that we're still together and

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Speaker 1: that they cared to watch the show and think about

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Speaker 1: us even after the show. That's like just so nice

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Speaker 1: and like it warms my heart. And I need to

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Speaker 1: do better because Chalk and I are together all the

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Speaker 1: time and we are great. In fact, we're better than

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Speaker 1: ever and that keeps happening. Every time we get to

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Speaker 1: be together, and every time that we share more experiences,

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Speaker 1: our relationship grows stronger. I'm just really bad about documenting it.

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Speaker 1: I don't pull out my phone when we're out to

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Speaker 1: get dinner. I don't pull out my phone when we're

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Speaker 1: walking the dog. I don't pull out my phone when

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Speaker 1: we're sitting watching Netflix like the series that we're into.

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Speaker 1: So we're together a lot. I'm just really bad about

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Speaker 1: documenting it. So I'm sorry Bachchination. I'm sorry about you know,

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Speaker 1: to all you people that are invested in our journey.

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Speaker 1: Talk and I are still together. I am going to

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Speaker 1: do a better job about showing us together. So we're

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Speaker 1: going to be with each other next week in Punchacona

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Speaker 1: for a couple of days. We're taking a little vacation.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to get to some warm weather and

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Speaker 1: I am going to do I promise you, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to show us together. So we will squelch the rumors

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Speaker 1: for like another month, and then they'll start bubbling back

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Speaker 1: up and I'll do a better job about posting. So

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Speaker 1: I have another question, and this one is from Dina

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Speaker 1: fifty two, and she said Valentine's Day is around the corner.

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Speaker 1: Do you and Chalk have plans? We actually do. So

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Speaker 1: we are going to be in LA doing a brand

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Speaker 1: deal for a new audible book coming that's coming out.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to happen to be together on the thirteenth,

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Speaker 1: and so we're staying extra night in the hotel. It's

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Speaker 1: a cute little hotel that I spent some time in

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Speaker 1: when I'm in La before, and we both love it

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Speaker 1: and has a pool, and so we're going to be together.

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Speaker 1: We're going to be relaxing and just spending the time

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Speaker 1: in a different city. It's fun to travel. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of what we do. We don't live together. He lives

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Speaker 1: in Kansas. I live in Maryland. When we meet up,

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Speaker 1: we sometimes I sometimes go to Kansas. He sometimes comes

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Speaker 1: to Maryland. But it's a lot more fun meeting someplace

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Speaker 1: that we are kind of on vacation. So we meet

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Speaker 1: in La sometimes because we have things that we need

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Speaker 1: to do there, and then we extend our vacations where

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Speaker 1: we go to Florida or like I said, we're going

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Speaker 1: to Puntacana. So we see each other a lot. This

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, We're going to be together in LA. So

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Speaker 1: thanks for that question. It's a good one because it's

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Speaker 1: hard when you're doing a long distance relationship. But this

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, we are going to be together. And this

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Speaker 1: next one is from at Cynthia Gregory or Gregory or

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Speaker 1: I'm not really positive how you say your name, but

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the question. So this one is from Cynthia

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Speaker 1: g Just curious on how you and Chalk felt living

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Speaker 1: together for a month in New York. Oh, that is

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Speaker 1: such a good question. That was so joyous. It was

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Speaker 1: kind of a bucket list or maybe the beginning of

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Speaker 1: fulfilling a bucket list item. So he and I both

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Speaker 1: talked while we were filming The Golden Bachelrette that we

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Speaker 1: know it comes from a small town in Kansas. I

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Speaker 1: come from a pretty big town. I come from Washington,

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Speaker 1: d C. But we both always wanted to live in

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Speaker 1: New York City. Odd dream, but we both had that,

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Speaker 1: and he promised to me while we were on the

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Speaker 1: go Golden Bachelorette. He gave me a key that was

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Speaker 1: symbolic of a journey that he wanted to take with me,

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Speaker 1: and that was to live in New York City. We

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Speaker 1: did try to find a place for a bunch of months.

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Speaker 1: It's very difficult. All you New Yorkers know this. It's

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Speaker 1: hard to find a place to live, especially if you're

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Speaker 1: not living there already, because things will come up and

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Speaker 1: if you're not there the day that they go on

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Speaker 1: the market, you lose. So for me to get from

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Speaker 1: Maryland to New York as quick and I could never

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Speaker 1: make it in time before place has kind of disappeared.

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Speaker 1: So we got an airbnb for a month and we

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Speaker 1: spent the whole month of December in New York and

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Speaker 1: we had a blast. It was like we kind of

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Speaker 1: got a glimpse of what life would look like living

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Speaker 1: together because it was the most time we had spent

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Speaker 1: together kind and it wasn't in a hotel. We're usually

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Speaker 1: in a hotel, so it was in a home, it

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Speaker 1: was an airbnb. We spent a whole month together and

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Speaker 1: it was wonderful. So that was a great experience. I

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Speaker 1: think we will do New York again. Hopefully we will

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Speaker 1: do it for a longer period of time, but we've

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Speaker 1: talked about maybe going back and doing another month in

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Speaker 1: the fall because both of us love a fall in

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Speaker 1: New York. So maybe in the next you know, eight

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Speaker 1: or nine months, we'll be back doing again. The next

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Speaker 1: question is from Carol sixty two. She says, I'm sixty

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Speaker 1: two years old and have been divorced for twenty years.

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Speaker 1: I've had some boyfriends here and there, but nothing long lasting.

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Speaker 1: I've done the apps, but not great. What else should

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Speaker 1: I try? Oh gosh, Carol, I feel for you. I

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Speaker 1: did the apps too, and it felt like a job.

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Speaker 1: To me. It felt like you always had to be online.

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Speaker 1: If you weren't quick about answering questions or showing interests back,

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Speaker 1: people got offended. You had to spend so much time

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Speaker 1: on your phone, and then you would go out on

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Speaker 1: dates and you probably have experienced that a lot of

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Speaker 1: times they weren't the people that you expected to be meeting.

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Speaker 1: They often looked different, they acted different. So I think

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Speaker 1: dating apps are hard, but I have a hard time

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Speaker 1: figuring out what would get you more opportunity. So dating

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Speaker 1: apps you certainly get a lot of action, you see

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Speaker 1: a lot of people, well, you get a lot of choices.

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Speaker 1: It's the easiest way to weed through. I though, in

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Speaker 1: the long run, think that meeting someplace in person is

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Speaker 1: a lot better and you get a better idea about

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Speaker 1: a person obviously than spending a lot of time texting

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Speaker 1: back and forth. So I would say get out there.

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Speaker 1: Get out there more than anything that feels comfortable. Go

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Speaker 1: out and like, let's say you go to dinner with

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Speaker 1: a friend, which I did a lot. So I had

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Speaker 1: a lot of girlfriends and I would go to dinner

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Speaker 1: and we would go sit at a table. Don't sit

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Speaker 1: at a table, go sit at a bar. It invites

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Speaker 1: people to come talk to you. You have more organic

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Speaker 1: conversations when you sit at a bar. So don't sit

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Speaker 1: at a table, sit at a bar. Go to things

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Speaker 1: that you wouldn't normally go to. Go to a park,

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Speaker 1: take your dog on a walk, join a wine tasting club.

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Speaker 1: If you like community service, you know, join a food bank.

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Speaker 1: You're going to meet like minded people if you go

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Speaker 1: to do things that you enjoy doing. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like getting out there, but you know, making it a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a job. So making a bigger effort

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Speaker 1: than just going out once in a while, make it

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Speaker 1: a thing that you do every day. Have a plan

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Speaker 1: every day of how you're going to go out and

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Speaker 1: maybe meet somebody. So I think aside from the dating apps,

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Speaker 1: which I completely agree with, you are very difficult and

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Speaker 1: it is a little bit like a job. I think

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Speaker 1: just getting out there in the real world and trying

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Speaker 1: to meet somebody organically is maybe approach you should take.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, you know, maybe don't get off

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Speaker 1: the dating apps completely, but use them as your second tool.

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Speaker 1: Maybe make the first one getting out there. I hope

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Speaker 1: that helps, because I feel for you, girl, I know

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Speaker 1: how hard it is. The next one is Rebecca. She's

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Speaker 1: forty five, and she says, Joan, I love how confident

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Speaker 1: you are. And I've been engaged to my fiance for

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Speaker 1: almost a year. We're getting married this summer. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that upsets me though, the most, is how

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Speaker 1: frequent his communication is with me. Won't respond to text

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Speaker 1: or return my calls for hours. How do you address

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Speaker 1: this without him hurting, without me hurting his feelings? Wow? Huh,

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, I guess the first thing that comes

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Speaker 1: to my head is is he really busy? Does he

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Speaker 1: have a job that's very demanding or do you just

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Speaker 1: feel like he's reading your text or seeing that you

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Speaker 1: called and ignoring you? So I feel like maybe there's

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Speaker 1: something deeper there. If that's the case, that maybe he

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Speaker 1: doesn't consider what you have to do or your feelings

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Speaker 1: like as that important. That would concern me the fact

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Speaker 1: that you're getting married. Okay, So I know he loves you, right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so let's start from the obvious. You guys are in love.

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Speaker 1: Why is he discounting your need to communicate with him?

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Speaker 1: If it's because he's busy, I think we have to

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Speaker 1: give him grace. But I think that you eventually need

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Speaker 1: to come to an agreement that says when I call you,

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Speaker 1: oftentimes it's because I need to tell you something or

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Speaker 1: ask you something. So I think that you know, unless

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Speaker 1: you're stuck in a meeting or doing something super important,

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Speaker 1: could you try to call me back within an hour

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Speaker 1: or can you try to send me a quick text

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Speaker 1: say sorry, I can't talk right now, but we'll call

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Speaker 1: you and give me a timeframe so I'm not sitting

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Speaker 1: around waiting. I feel like you're expectations are valid that

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Speaker 1: he should respond in some way, even if the response

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Speaker 1: is I can't talk right now and I will call

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Speaker 1: you later. So I guess I don't think you would

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Speaker 1: be hurting his feelings to say that that is an expectation,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I also always go with the saying

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Speaker 1: in my head that people treat you the way you

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Speaker 1: allow them to treat you, so in a nice way,

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Speaker 1: I think you can say I'm not going to allow

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Speaker 1: you to treat me like that that I think I'm

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Speaker 1: being reasonable by having a higher expectation, So I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's a bad thing for you to expect more.

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Speaker 1: I hope that helps. Recca. That's a hard one. I know.

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Speaker 1: I'm a non confrontational person, so having those conversations I

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Speaker 1: know are hard, So good luck with that. Jared fifty three,

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Speaker 1: I've been divorced for five years and finally found someone

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Speaker 1: I click with that I been dating for three months.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to sex, I like to have it often,

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Speaker 1: mostly because at the end of my marriage I wasn't

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Speaker 1: having any. And I feel like the woman I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: doesn't have the same sex drive as me, as me

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Speaker 1: should I move on? H So that's a tough one.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the innate sex drive of a person

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Speaker 1: is maybe something that is just kind of in them,

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Speaker 1: and they might not just have the same you know,

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Speaker 1: urges or need the same thing as you need. But

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Speaker 1: I think if you are if it's something that you

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Speaker 1: really want, I think you need to have the conversation

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Speaker 1: because sometimes even if you're not in the mood and

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Speaker 1: your partner is, if you go ahead and let it happen,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's really great. And maybe her saying no and

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Speaker 1: you still feeling like you're not being satisfied, maybe there's

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Speaker 1: a middle ground that you guys could figure out. So

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Speaker 1: I think you need to have a conversation with her.

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Speaker 1: And maybe your sex drives don't match, but maybe there

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Speaker 1: is a middle ground that you guys can find that

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Speaker 1: both of you your feelings will be validated. So Jared,

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Speaker 1: I get it. You're fifty three years old, You're obviously

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Speaker 1: a healthy, good guy, and I understand that sometimes men's

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Speaker 1: urges are maybe a little more than women's. But I

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Speaker 1: think you can probably figure that out with her and

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Speaker 1: you can find it kind of a middle ground. Okay.

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Speaker 1: The next one is Christine. She's sixty four. She says, Joan,

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Speaker 1: I love watching your love story with chalk happen. I

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Speaker 1: can relate because I also lost my husband, who is

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Speaker 1: my everything. After his passing, I had to start working

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Speaker 1: more to make a living. A month ago, I was

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Speaker 1: lonely and accepted a date offer from a coworker. There

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Speaker 1: wasn't any chemistry, but now there is a weird tension

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Speaker 1: in our office. Is there any way to fix this? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I get it, girl. I know you probably felt so

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Speaker 1: good to for someone to be asking you out and

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Speaker 1: feel wanted and a coworker that's always a sticky situation.

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Speaker 1: I think you just need to have that conversation. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure that they're feeling that maybe you're not into it.

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Speaker 1: It's you know, most people can feel that, So I

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Speaker 1: think that the conversation needs to be have like as flattered.

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Speaker 1: You're a really great person. I love working with you.

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Speaker 1: I don't want that to change the reason we even

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Speaker 1: went out on a date because we both you know,

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Speaker 1: have respect for each other or you know, whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that you guys had before. Try to get back

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Speaker 1: to that. Yeah, because you're gonna have to rite. You

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Speaker 1: have to earn a living, and so does he. So

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Speaker 1: I think that conversation is, you know, important for your

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Speaker 1: feelings but also for your income. So I think that

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Speaker 1: that's twofold, and I think you can do it, and

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Speaker 1: I think you can do it successfully because I'm sure

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Speaker 1: he's probably feeling the same way. At this point, he

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Speaker 1: probably knows you're not super interested. So the next question

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Speaker 1: is from Lily, and she's sixty four, and this is

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Speaker 1: when I really relate to. Says, my best friend recently

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Speaker 1: lost her husband of over thirty years. I'm so heartbroken

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Speaker 1: for her, but I don't know what to do. How

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Speaker 1: should I show support for her? Is there a way

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Speaker 1: to honor her husband that will make her feel loved? God, Lily, Boy,

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Speaker 1: that's just hitting home really a lot. So ironically, I

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Speaker 1: had a friend whose husband passed away before minded, and

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Speaker 1: I struggled with this exact same question, so I can

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Speaker 1: see it from both sides. So I remember just maybe

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Speaker 1: daily in the beginning, just texting her or calling her

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Speaker 1: and just saying thinking about you know you're hurting. There's

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Speaker 1: nothing else you can say. There's nothing that's going to

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Speaker 1: relieve the hurt. But it does show that you're thinking

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Speaker 1: about her, that she's not sitting alone in that room,

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Speaker 1: alone in her grief, that she has people that still

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Speaker 1: love her. So reach out, send cupcakes, you know, reach

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Speaker 1: out and say, I know you're lonely. I know you

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Speaker 1: don't want to go out, but I'm taking out to dinner.

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Speaker 1: Whether you want to go or not. The people that

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Speaker 1: force you to get out of your house and get

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Speaker 1: out of your grief, it's surprising how much better it

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Speaker 1: makes you feel. I remember making my friend go out

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Speaker 1: and her saying at the end of the night, boy,

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Speaker 1: I really needed this. I didn't. I really didn't want

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Speaker 1: to put on clothes and leave my house. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to like face life. But sometimes like doing that

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Speaker 1: slowly and doing it every once in a while with

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Speaker 1: some that you no loves you and is going to

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Speaker 1: take care of you is exactly what you need. And

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Speaker 1: you have to be forced to do it. So force

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Speaker 1: her to go out even if she doesn't want to,

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Speaker 1: or show up on her doorstep with a bottle of

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Speaker 1: wine or with dinner or something, and make her start

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Speaker 1: to live again, because you know, taking those first steps

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Speaker 1: after losing somebody is really hard, especially if you've had

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Speaker 1: a long marriage or a long relationship. So show her

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Speaker 1: that she's loved. It's simple. You just have to send

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Speaker 1: a text or you know, make her go out every

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Speaker 1: once in a while and have your other friends. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure that you're not her only friend suggests that to

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Speaker 1: other people, because one person doing it is great, multiple

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Speaker 1: people doing it is even greater. So the more you

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Speaker 1: know people that touch her, even from Afar, the better

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Speaker 1: it is. So yeah, make sure she knows your love.

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Speaker 1: She's loved, you know that you love her. Make sure

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Speaker 1: that she knows that you love her. So I think

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Speaker 1: that's it for questions. I think we're running out of time.

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Speaker 1: I have a bunch more that I would love to answer,

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Speaker 1: So maybe next time I'll get the opportunity to do

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Speaker 1: this again. Then thank you all for actually even sending

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Speaker 1: these questions. I appreciate that you think that I can

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Speaker 1: help you, and I hope I did. Okay, are you

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Speaker 1: in your chapter two and need some advice? Call us

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Speaker 1: or email us. All the infos in the show notes,

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Speaker 1: so follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and

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Speaker 1: review this podcast, and I do part two an iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: podcast where falling in love is the main objective