Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From New York City, the only city in America. It's
Speaker 2: the show that you tend you news. This is The
Speaker 2: Daily Show with your host last late June.
Speaker 1: You're my thousand Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm your
Speaker 1: host Jones.
Speaker 3: Whoa and let me tell y'all, I have been having
Speaker 3: the time of my life hosting this week. I don't
Speaker 3: even care that I lost three thousand dollars for the swear.
Speaker 1: Jar that jar, but we got a great show for
Speaker 1: you tonight. So let's get to these headlines.
Speaker 4: Guys.
Speaker 3: Let's kick things off with some big diplomatic news. The
Speaker 3: President of China is in the United States for the
Speaker 3: first time since twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: Now, this is a big deal for.
Speaker 3: China and the United States, but it's a really big
Speaker 3: deal for the city of San Francisco.
Speaker 5: Because the world leaders are coming into town. San Francisco
Speaker 5: has suddenly decided to clean up the city. Contractors and
Speaker 5: maintenance crews not only sweeping streets and getting rid of
Speaker 5: trash and drug paraphernalia, but officials in law enforcement also
Speaker 5: removing people, many homeless reportedly being moved out of the
Speaker 5: areas where they might be seen.
Speaker 6: I know folks say, oh, they're just cleaning up this
Speaker 6: place because all those fancy leaders are coming into town.
Speaker 1: That's true, because it's.
Speaker 5: True obviously anytime you put on an event, by definition,
Speaker 5: you know you have people over your house.
Speaker 1: You're going to clean up the house.
Speaker 2: You're gonna make sure.
Speaker 1: The kids make their bets.
Speaker 5: You don't take the socks, you know, let's put them
Speaker 5: in the drawer in the hamper.
Speaker 1: Homeless people don't have a hamper.
Speaker 3: Did mister slick just say he's hiding the homeless people
Speaker 3: like you throw dirty socks into the hamper, clean your
Speaker 3: room up, China's coming over.
Speaker 1: What I have a crazy idea.
Speaker 3: What if instead of just moving the homeless into shelters
Speaker 3: when company comes over, how about they have.
Speaker 1: A home to sleep in all the time.
Speaker 3: And I know, I know you think it's crazy to
Speaker 3: give a homeless person a house, but it's been proven
Speaker 3: time again that if you just give someone a home
Speaker 3: to live in, it's actually cheaper than.
Speaker 1: Keeping them on the streets.
Speaker 3: And don't tell me, don't tell me that you don't
Speaker 3: have enough empty houses, because I watch house hunters all
Speaker 3: the time and as at least two empty houses for
Speaker 3: every picky ass.
Speaker 1: Couple looking for a place.
Speaker 3: Let's move on to some news about the United States
Speaker 3: Postal Service, which just announced that they lost six point five.
Speaker 1: Billion dollars this year.
Speaker 3: I don't understand why Why are they sending the bills
Speaker 3: through the mail? Why don't the post Office just throw
Speaker 3: away the mail? You know they're the post Office, but seriously,
Speaker 3: can we stop picking on the Postal Service? Why is
Speaker 3: they the only government agency we expect to make money from.
Speaker 3: Why they provide a vital services to Americans? People who
Speaker 3: cares if they're not profitable. No one says to the firefighters,
Speaker 3: great job saving lives.
Speaker 1: But those numbers not great.
Speaker 3: Gonna have to stay on some of those sexy ass calendars. Look,
Speaker 3: I know everybody thinks everything is email and texting now,
Speaker 3: but there are so many things you can only send
Speaker 3: through the mail, like a handwritten card from your grandma
Speaker 3: weed you can send to yourself to someplace where you
Speaker 3: can't get weed.
Speaker 1: Or hey, how about order a book?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 7: Good the now?
Speaker 1: Y good at now? Now?
Speaker 3: What would you do if you couldn't get my book
Speaker 3: from the post office?
Speaker 1: Go to a bookstore?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, because they sell them there too, Or how
Speaker 3: about download the audio book.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can do that, and you can do that too.
Speaker 3: You might even find a QR code somewhere. All I'm
Speaker 3: saying is that the postal service is important. And finally,
Speaker 3: let's talk about politics. The good news is that Congress
Speaker 3: voted yesterday to.
Speaker 1: Keep funding the government. Hy so there is it going
Speaker 1: to be a government shut down?
Speaker 3: Congrats Congress, you did the absolute backuck in minimo. Not
Speaker 3: news is that every single person up on Capitol Hill
Speaker 3: seems to be losing their damn mind. Yesterday we talked
Speaker 3: about a senator challenging a witness to fight, and he
Speaker 3: wasn't even the only one getting physical.
Speaker 8: Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett says former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy
Speaker 8: elbowed him and the kidneys and.
Speaker 3: Got elbowed in the back, and it kind of caught
Speaker 3: me off guard because it was a clean shot to
Speaker 3: the kidneys.
Speaker 1: And I turned back and there was Kevin McCarthy calling
Speaker 1: any physical contact between the two men surely accidental.
Speaker 6: If I kidney puncherm he'd be on the ground.
Speaker 3: So come on, oh my god, you guys are such children.
Speaker 1: You act like five year olds. This is insane.
Speaker 3: Listen, I know what it's like to want to fight
Speaker 3: a co walker, but don't do that at word.
Speaker 1: You wait for them in the parking lot. Like a response.
Speaker 3: For more on all the fighting at Congress, Let's go
Speaker 3: live to the Capitol now with.
Speaker 9: Desie Leideck Dazy, Holy shit, what happened?
Speaker 1: You look rough girl?
Speaker 8: Thank you? Well, you can't report on Congressional fight Club
Speaker 8: without joining Congressional fight Club. I've been throwing down all day.
Speaker 8: You know, these pro life guys talk a big game
Speaker 8: until their nuts are in a bind, and then they're all.
Speaker 1: Oh my body, my choin.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, Desie, there's a Congressional fight club.
Speaker 1: Isn't add in violence just going to make things worse?
Speaker 8: Well, actually it's been very helpful, Leslie. There are only
Speaker 8: two ways to release all the tension in Congress. It's
Speaker 8: either a fight club or going to a musical with
Speaker 8: Lauren Bobert. And that poor woman can only do so much.
Speaker 8: She's starting to get carpal.
Speaker 1: Tunnel, Dassi.
Speaker 3: I'm being honest here. I'm worried about your girl, like
Speaker 3: you look like you got hurt.
Speaker 8: Oh no, no, no no, I mean I took a couple
Speaker 8: of blows to the head. But it's no big deal.
Speaker 8: I am totally fine, Lindsay. And the good thing is
Speaker 8: that this is working. Just one week of this, and
Speaker 8: the House already passed a spending bill. Not to mention,
Speaker 8: the House already passed a spending bill.
Speaker 1: Back to you, Louise, it's Leslie.
Speaker 8: No, I'm DESI no.
Speaker 3: Never mine, never mine, Deasi. This doesn't seem healthy. I mean,
Speaker 3: this is just not the way to run a government.
Speaker 3: Macho man bullshit is not a real fix, I hear you.
Speaker 8: But honestly, it beats how the women do it. I mean,
Speaker 8: instead of physical violence, it's psychological warfare. Nancy Pelosi called
Speaker 8: me brave for not wearing makeup, and I was wearing
Speaker 8: a lot of makeup.
Speaker 3: Dazzi, Desi, I need you to get up out of it.
Speaker 3: I'm definitely worried about you getting hurt. Think about your family, girl.
Speaker 8: Okay, you're right. I mean I was supposed to fight
Speaker 8: Ted Cruz in a few minutes, and I guess I
Speaker 8: can cancel.
Speaker 3: Wait wait, wait, witte, wait wait wait you fighting Ted Cruise?
Speaker 1: Yeah number nine?
Speaker 3: When I said you stay you stay there, ye stay there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Your family right now, your family right now?
Speaker 1: You stay right there, DESI, okay, and you fight. Listen
Speaker 1: to me. That's DESI, listen to me.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, it's all led up to this, DESI.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right.
Speaker 3: You gotta stay loose, Okay, you gotta wear him down.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because he's mostly mid section.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Yeah, getting mid section. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He's all mint section and beard.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Okay, So you gotta you know,
Speaker 1: this should be easy. Yeah, to do it. You gotta
Speaker 1: do it for the America. You gotta do it for me.
Speaker 1: That day you go boom, she's gonna get her ass. Well,
Speaker 1: when we come back, I'm gonna show you how calm
Speaker 1: I can be.
Speaker 10: So don't go away, all.
Speaker 1: Right, walk come back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 3: Look, look, I'm gonna be honest with America right now.
Speaker 3: I'm known for, you know, not sugar coating stuff, you know,
Speaker 3: and I'm pretty loud.
Speaker 1: Really loud. Actually, I'm kind of probably known for yelling.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I'm loud even when I'm whispering. So I just I
Speaker 3: just I just and you all get it right, you know,
Speaker 3: everybody right, now you know, the upset and just getting upset.
Speaker 1: Everyone's on edge. The world is falling apart. But this
Speaker 1: is what I want to do.
Speaker 3: I want to be the example to the show to
Speaker 3: show that y'all can stay calm okay. No matter what
Speaker 3: you see, you can stay calm okay. So that's why
Speaker 3: I created this new segment called Leslie Jones tries not.
Speaker 1: To lose her shit.
Speaker 3: There was a time when election stories would really get
Speaker 3: me upset, but now I'm better at stay in calm.
Speaker 3: Huh huh okay.
Speaker 1: So let's see what's going on with the election.
Speaker 6: Third party candidates could prove to have a major impact
Speaker 6: in this next presidential election.
Speaker 1: Robert F.
Speaker 6: Kennedy Junior is pulling higher than any independent or third
Speaker 6: party candidate in more than thirty years.
Speaker 4: It's not like RFK is going to win, but he
Speaker 4: could hurt Joe Biden from winning.
Speaker 1: Oh well, that's not good. But you know it's really
Speaker 1: not good.
Speaker 3: You know, races, The race is tight enough as it
Speaker 3: is without some random Kennedy dude jumping in to cause
Speaker 3: all kinds of chaos.
Speaker 1: But you know what, that's democracy, okay.
Speaker 3: Everyone got a right to run.
Speaker 1: For office and who knows?
Speaker 3: Who knows this dude might actually have some good ideas.
Speaker 8: Kennedy the candidate best known for his anti vaccine advocacy
Speaker 8: and history of promoting ugly conspiracy theories.
Speaker 7: He's linked chemicals in our water supply to gender dysphoria,
Speaker 7: antidepressants to school shootings, and assisted COVID vaccines were a
Speaker 7: tool to control people via microchips. Rfk Junior said last
Speaker 7: week that somehow COVID nineteen was engineered to not target
Speaker 7: Asians and Oshgnazi Jews.
Speaker 3: Jesus wiped Uh who Now?
Speaker 1: That doesn't make me happy.
Speaker 3: But then again, it's a free country, okay. Everyone has
Speaker 3: the right to believe in what they believed. Uh see
Speaker 3: see I did it.
Speaker 1: I did it.
Speaker 9: I didn't lose my shit, Robert Kenny, I did it.
Speaker 1: I didn't lose over Robert Kennedy. I'm so proud of myself.
Speaker 1: We did it.
Speaker 3: Everybody, Now? Is there anything else I need to know?
Speaker 6: Recent photo on a flight is sparking age old debate.
Speaker 6: Is it ever okay to remove your shoes on a plane?
Speaker 6: Passenger's not? This photo of presidential hopeful Robert Kennedy Junior
Speaker 6: with no shoes and key point here no socks. Kenny
Speaker 6: was actually coming back from the bathroom with no shoes,
Speaker 6: no socks.
Speaker 11: I tried, y'all sign me right, y'all all saw me,
Speaker 11: y'all sign I try right.
Speaker 1: You witnessed me trying.
Speaker 3: Now I'm about to go in on an ass.
Speaker 1: This mother went to the he went to the plane
Speaker 1: bathroom basket.
Speaker 3: This is the most disturbing video I have ever seen
Speaker 3: of a Kennedy, and that.
Speaker 11: Includes the one where a guy's head its mouse.
Speaker 1: Like, how are you the worst? Kennedy?
Speaker 11: Your uncle kill the lady by driving off a bridge.
Speaker 1: But then I see your nasty feet.
Speaker 3: And I wish I was in that car. The only
Speaker 3: reason you should come out of the plain bathroom barefoot
Speaker 3: is if you got robbed in there by someone who
Speaker 3: only needs socks and shoes.
Speaker 11: Eddie, he doesn't He doesn't even.
Speaker 1: Believe in vaccines.
Speaker 3: How far have the Kennedy's fallen? JFK was raw dog
Speaker 3: and Marilyn Moroe. But the only thing that's Kennedy is
Speaker 3: raw dogging, it's tetanus.
Speaker 1: Why what's that plane even allowed to land?
Speaker 3: Where is the Malaysian pilot when you need him?
Speaker 1: And you know what? And you know what else? You
Speaker 1: know what else? One more thing?
Speaker 3: You forestilling Larry David's wife. Okay, that didn't go well.
Speaker 3: I guess we'll try again next time. When we come
Speaker 3: back to Legendary athlete Alison Felix will be joining us
Speaker 3: today on the job an.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 3: My guest tonight is the most decorated track and field
Speaker 3: athlete of all time. She's also the co founder and
Speaker 3: president of Safe. Please welcome seven time Olympic gold medalist
Speaker 3: Allison Fix. Oh my, now, perskyball, you already know I'm obsessed,
Speaker 3: obsessed with the Olympics. You know everything Olympics. Now you
Speaker 3: I know you'd have seen.
Speaker 4: All of the clips, your commentary.
Speaker 1: It's everything. I love, y'all. I love. I love giving
Speaker 1: Olympic athletes they love. I mean because you guys deserve it.
Speaker 1: Like let me, let me, let me read your song.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read your saf.
Speaker 3: She has been in five Olympic Games from two thousand
Speaker 3: and four to twenty twenty. She has eleven Olympic medals,
Speaker 3: seven gold, three silver, one bronx.
Speaker 1: She has twenty.
Speaker 3: She has twenty World Championship medals.
Speaker 11: God, yes, that's what I'm talking about. I got this.
Speaker 3: Question when you were in high school and running track.
Speaker 3: Did you ever think you was going to do all
Speaker 3: of that?
Speaker 1: Not at all. Now.
Speaker 4: In high school they called me chicken legs. I was
Speaker 4: just concerned with making friends, and you know, I was like,
Speaker 4: maybe I could get a scholarship to a college, and
Speaker 4: that was my big thing. But I had no idea
Speaker 4: or even really aspirations to take it this far.
Speaker 1: Really, when when did you get aspirations? Like? When did
Speaker 1: it click on?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was somewhere in the middle, towards the end
Speaker 4: of high school where I was like, oh, you know,
Speaker 4: maybe I could go to the Olympics, maybe I could
Speaker 4: make this a career. But I wanted to be an
Speaker 4: elementary school teacher, so it was.
Speaker 11: Yeah, wow, and you would have been running fast after
Speaker 11: them kids got well, okay, now I know this is
Speaker 11: crazy because you know, I'm going to ask this because I'm.
Speaker 1: A black girl like you. When you're running, how do
Speaker 1: you choose how to do your hair?
Speaker 3: Because see, people don't know that black women, you know,
Speaker 3: we got to put our hair in a certain way,
Speaker 3: you know, explain all it, like the hairstyles.
Speaker 4: I'm a braids type of girl, and so I just
Speaker 4: don't want to be bothered. And so yeah, usually some
Speaker 4: type of braids or corn rows or something that makes
Speaker 4: it really easy so I can focus on what I
Speaker 4: have to get done.
Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3: Now, this is my big question, and this is always
Speaker 3: going to be the big question. And men, y'all don't
Speaker 3: even understand how insulting you are that you don't even
Speaker 3: understand the stuff that female athletes go through.
Speaker 1: We got to have babies, y'all. Want to have babies, y'all,
Speaker 1: get your wife to do it, and you ain't got
Speaker 1: to go through that.
Speaker 3: So tell this, Tell this America how it feels to
Speaker 3: have to not only be this Olympic Icon, but then
Speaker 3: turn around have a baby and then have people tell
Speaker 3: you that you can't do it after you'd had your baby.
Speaker 1: Tell us about that.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's so hard and women have been doing
Speaker 4: it forever, and the thing about it is just not
Speaker 4: being supported. You know, everyone wants the glory moment when
Speaker 4: everything is great and when you've come back and you've
Speaker 4: gone through the struggles, but they don't want to support
Speaker 4: you through that. And that's what I experience and really
Speaker 4: wanted to fight on the behalf of other mothers to
Speaker 4: say we have to do this differently. You know, we
Speaker 4: need to support every athlete holistically, and that means motherhood
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely absolutely. Now, now, was that criticism and all
Speaker 3: of that stuff coming towards you the like the meaning
Speaker 3: of you doing your shoe your own shoe?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 4: You know I parted ways with Nike over that fight
Speaker 4: for maternal protections. I was looking for another footwear sponsor
Speaker 4: and I couldn't find it, and so in talking with
Speaker 4: my brother, we just to do it ourselves.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we thought we were making Yeah, we thought we
Speaker 4: were making shoes that I could wear in the Olympics.
Speaker 4: But then we learned as we went down that path
Speaker 4: that shoes haven't been made for women. And what that
Speaker 4: means is a shoe is made off of a last,
Speaker 4: which is just a mold of a foot, and it's
Speaker 4: been the mold of a man's foot to make women sneakers.
Speaker 4: So we do things differently. Our shoes are built off
Speaker 4: the mold and off the function of the women's body,
Speaker 4: and they're they're just specifically made for her.
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right, women looking out for women.
Speaker 1: Now, you know, I got to ask you. You know,
Speaker 1: I know you retired, but I know you got some favorites.
Speaker 3: So who should we be looking at for, you know,
Speaker 3: coming up Olympics.
Speaker 4: I mean, we have so much talent. I'm really excited
Speaker 4: about Gabby Thomas. She's doing so well an A Hall
Speaker 4: and then of course you know I have to my
Speaker 4: mother's Shelley and Fraser Price.
Speaker 1: You know, Oh my god, love a man.
Speaker 4: I think this is going to be her final Olympics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my girl.
Speaker 4: And excited to see what she's gonna do as well.
Speaker 3: Now now I know is I mean like like exciting exciting, right,
Speaker 3: because let me tell you I've I've gotten the chance
Speaker 3: to go to Olympics, which you guys, if you ever
Speaker 3: get a chance, I mean seriously, just to even go
Speaker 3: to one event, try to go to track and field.
Speaker 1: It will change your life.
Speaker 3: It is so beautiful to watch, and it's it's out
Speaker 3: and it's green, and it's not just the running that's
Speaker 3: going on, it's the middle, the all the events in
Speaker 3: the middle. Yeah, the people throwing spears and stuff. Now
Speaker 3: I got to see you saying bolt run and it
Speaker 3: was you guys, And I hate to say it this way,
Speaker 3: but y'all look like horses almost, like your legs are
Speaker 3: so strong, and.
Speaker 1: These these dudes was running.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about the veins and it's like you it
Speaker 3: was just like, fas, how do you get that fast?
Speaker 1: Is it build on legs? Is it?
Speaker 11: Like?
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 4: I mean, it's a combination. It's definitely, you know, a
Speaker 4: god given talent, but it comes with a lot of
Speaker 4: hard work and so you get faster in the weight room.
Speaker 4: You know, all the weights, the pliometrics, all of those things,
Speaker 4: and a lot of practice, a lot of dedication.
Speaker 1: Wow, what is your favorite eventure run?
Speaker 4: I love the two hundred. I always used to call
Speaker 4: it my baby, but then I had a baby and
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, I don't think I did that.
Speaker 4: But that's the perfect distance to me. Really, Okay, my
Speaker 4: start isn't. That's why you have to have a good start.
Speaker 4: And the four hundred is just too long.
Speaker 1: It's lack of acid.
Speaker 4: And anybody who's running four hundred they know about that.
Speaker 4: So the tour does like the sweet spot.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just want to ask you everything,
Speaker 3: and I have all these questions. Okay, last question, what
Speaker 3: does it feel like to be Oprah's Favorite Thing.
Speaker 1: It's so special. I feel so proud.
Speaker 4: We just launched our running shoe and so to have
Speaker 4: the Felix Runner on Oprah's Favorite Things again. It's our
Speaker 4: second time being on there, so I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: to be you know Oprah approved that that's right.
Speaker 1: You have to sell it. You got to sell it.
Speaker 3: I want to say, as another black woman, if no
Speaker 3: one's ever told you, and I'm pretty sure you've heard
Speaker 3: this one before, I have never been so tremendously proud
Speaker 3: of your accomplishments. Thank you so much for being the
Speaker 3: person you are and being strong and fighting and just
Speaker 3: showing people that you got to fight for yourself. I
Speaker 3: love you, and I think you're I think you're a
Speaker 3: bag of chips and all that.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying for.
Speaker 3: Real, I'm not even got to take a break, but
Speaker 3: we will be right back after this.
Speaker 9: Well that's our.
Speaker 1: Show for tonight.
Speaker 3: But before we go, please check out Common Ground. It's
Speaker 3: an incredible documentary that explores how regenerative agriculture can help
Speaker 3: heal the salt.
Speaker 1: It heals our health and the planet.
Speaker 3: You guys, go to the link below to find out
Speaker 3: how you can see this film, and how you can
Speaker 3: do more.
Speaker 2: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
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