WEBVTT - Pastors' Perspective-10/02/26 0:00:19.369 --> 0:00:23.329 And welcome to Pastor's Perspective. I'm your host, Brian Perez. 0:00:23.439 --> 0:00:26.810 It is Friday and we are here live in the 0:00:26.810 --> 0:00:29.870 studio to answer the questions you have about God's word. 0:00:31.079 --> 0:00:34.489 Christianity in general, religion, whatever you want to talk about. 0:00:34.599 --> 0:00:43.110 Phone lines are open until 4 o'clock at 888-564-6173, 888-564-6173. 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.490 We are live streaming on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram, so 0:00:46.489 --> 0:00:48.568 you can watch us that way if you'd like to. 0:00:48.650 --> 0:00:52.209 You can also submit your questions online through Facebook or 0:00:52.209 --> 0:00:55.950 Instagram or the pastor's perspective page at Kwave.com. 0:00:56.900 --> 0:01:00.170 We likely would not see those questions today. So if 0:01:00.170 --> 0:01:06.600 you need an answer today, give us a call 888-564-6173. 0:01:06.860 --> 0:01:10.420 And answering your questions today, we've got Bill Buffington and 0:01:10.420 --> 0:01:12.899 Mike Whitford. Now, these two guys, I don't think have 0:01:12.899 --> 0:01:16.920 ever met each other. So, uh, Mike, tell some, tell 0:01:17.100 --> 0:01:19.499 Bill a little something about yourself, and then Bill, you 0:01:19.500 --> 0:01:21.779 tell Mike a little something about yourself. Bill and I 0:01:21.780 --> 0:01:24.219 both discovered that we're both going for the Dodgers, so 0:01:24.219 --> 0:01:26.438 there's that. Um, that's good. 0:01:26.929 --> 0:01:31.000 And, uh, SoCal natives down here. But, uh, yeah, I'm, I'm, uh, 0:01:31.009 --> 0:01:33.209 in Huntington Beach. Told Bill that as well. I think 0:01:33.209 --> 0:01:35.899 we covered everything and even those the names of my children. No, 0:01:35.969 --> 0:01:38.530 I'm kidding. We haven't gotten that far. But, uh, yeah, 0:01:38.688 --> 0:01:41.500 so Revive OC Church plant in Huntington Beach, and then 0:01:41.500 --> 0:01:45.289 obviously hang out here, uh, leading the, uh, Kingdom and 0:01:45.289 --> 0:01:48.409 Culture podcast, and then I get to do on-air radio 0:01:48.409 --> 0:01:51.549 stuff on Saturdays. That's fun. Fun, yeah. 0:01:52.500 --> 0:01:55.930 I am, uh, in Calver Chapel, Inglewood, and, uh, uh, he, 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.240 he said Inglewood, right? You, you know, he said Inglewood 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.809 with the hood on it, you know, so, um, praising 0:02:01.810 --> 0:02:04.780 God for what he's doing there, and, um, you know, that's, 0:02:04.859 --> 0:02:08.339 that's been my, my dream and vision for many years. So, uh, 0:02:08.460 --> 0:02:11.258 God's doing wonderful things there. Uh, we're excited about where 0:02:11.259 --> 0:02:13.380 we're at, where we are, what he's doing, and where 0:02:13.380 --> 0:02:16.180 we're going. So, uh, we're actually, we're praying, we're looking 0:02:16.180 --> 0:02:18.939 for a building so we can spread out a little bit. 0:02:19.010 --> 0:02:20.900 We need some room. So it's a good problem. It's 0:02:20.900 --> 0:02:21.699 a great problem. 0:02:22.180 --> 0:02:24.139 Um, and we're looking for the wait, waiting on the 0:02:24.139 --> 0:02:26.230 Lord to, to show us what, where and how. What 0:02:26.230 --> 0:02:29.749 about Sofi? Yeah, yeah, that'd be, that'd be awesome. Let us, 0:02:29.870 --> 0:02:32.449 let us in. I like that faith, Brian. That's right. 0:02:32.549 --> 0:02:35.109 That's right. That's a big faith right there. Philip Sofi. 0:02:35.260 --> 0:02:36.529 Claim it. Amen. 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:42.480 888-564-6173. You guys also hear Bill Buffington here on KWave 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:46.400 weeknights at 9:30 on his radio program, A Transforming Word, 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:49.889 which is also heard on the weekends on Kwave 11:10. 0:02:49.999 --> 0:02:55.219 So call in with your questions at 888-564-6173. We'll begin 0:02:55.219 --> 0:02:58.240 with at least one that was submitted online. This one 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:01.859 through the pastor's perspective page at Kwave.com, which you can 0:03:01.859 --> 0:03:02.840 easily get to. 0:03:03.219 --> 0:03:06.049 By scanning the QR code if you're watching online right now. 0:03:06.260 --> 0:03:09.659 It's from Tyler, who writes, hello, I have a question. 0:03:09.809 --> 0:03:12.779 My girlfriend is Catholic. I am a Christian. 0:03:13.090 --> 0:03:16.249 Just recently getting back into it. I'm going to propose 0:03:16.249 --> 0:03:19.370 to her soon. She wants to raise the baby Catholic. 0:03:19.449 --> 0:03:21.870 I have no say in how we raise the baby. 0:03:22.329 --> 0:03:24.329 What do you think I should do? Do you have 0:03:24.329 --> 0:03:26.730 any advice? So I'm kind of reading into something here 0:03:26.730 --> 0:03:31.090 that perhaps, uh, you know, Tyler's girlfriend is pregnant with 0:03:31.090 --> 0:03:34.449 their child, um, because I don't think they would. 0:03:36.139 --> 0:03:37.919 Bring up, I don't think he would bring up the question, 0:03:38.180 --> 0:03:41.100 you know, raising the baby Catholic unless they mean future children. 0:03:41.180 --> 0:03:44.460 I don't know. But, uh, what do you guys think? Bill, 0:03:44.579 --> 0:03:45.290 we'll start with you. 0:03:46.329 --> 0:03:52.130 Yeah, um, I, I see some problems. So, uh, first thing, yeah, 0:03:52.249 --> 0:03:56.770 so you're, you're basically if we're unmarried and we're having sex, um, 0:03:57.290 --> 0:04:00.130 that's the first problem, right? We're living in fornication. Um, 0:04:00.249 --> 0:04:02.449 so that, you know, God will call you to repent 0:04:02.449 --> 0:04:04.570 from that. It's, it's, uh, your relationship with Him is 0:04:04.570 --> 0:04:09.650 more important than that. Um, the Bible says, uh, in Galatians, no, no, 0:04:09.809 --> 0:04:12.169 no one that lives that lifestyle, no fornicator will inherit 0:04:12.169 --> 0:04:14.290 the kingdom. So that, that's a, it's a big deal, 0:04:14.449 --> 0:04:15.609 something to be repented of. 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.880 Um, then, as you look into the marriage, um, 2 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.839 Corinthians 6 says that, that we should not be unequally 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:26.150 yoked together with unbelievers. So if you're Christian, sounds like you're, 0:04:26.210 --> 0:04:28.599 you know, kinda light with it, just getting back into 0:04:28.599 --> 0:04:32.280 it is how you worded it. She's Catholic. Um, there's 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:37.639 some big differences, uh, between Christianity and Catholicism. So, um, 0:04:38.270 --> 0:04:41.089 I would, I would, I would recommend that people marry, 0:04:41.190 --> 0:04:44.299 you know, you, you, you, the most important aspect of 0:04:44.299 --> 0:04:46.270 the relationship is gonna be what we believe, who we 0:04:46.270 --> 0:04:49.389 believe God is. That's gonna be the guiding force of 0:04:49.389 --> 0:04:51.669 the relationship. So if you guys are in disagreement about 0:04:51.669 --> 0:04:54.750 the most important part of your lives, uh, that's, that's 0:04:54.750 --> 0:04:59.779 not a good starting point for a marriage relationship. So, um, yeah, 0:04:59.829 --> 0:05:03.590 I would recommend not marriage, maybe some counseling and, and 0:05:03.589 --> 0:05:06.030 some discipleship, and really if he's just getting back into 0:05:06.029 --> 0:05:06.989 his walk with the Lord. 0:05:07.969 --> 0:05:12.448 Work on that relationship before you commit to another, um, 0:05:12.650 --> 0:05:14.969 you know, the, the wisdom that God may give you 0:05:14.969 --> 0:05:19.520 may instruct you how to handle the next relationships, you know, but, uh, 0:05:19.609 --> 0:05:22.328 moving forward in this relationship and making plans, um, it, it's, 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.849 and then just, just fast forwarding, if you already have 0:05:24.849 --> 0:05:27.370 a kid, it's gonna be a terrible deal to 0:05:28.049 --> 0:05:28.690 Um, 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:32.599 You, you said you have no say in how we 0:05:32.599 --> 0:05:35.840 raise the baby. That's bad. I guess, as in the 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.638 god's perspective, the man is the spiritual leader of the home. 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:40.960 You should absolutely have something to say about it. It's 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:41.919 your kid, so. 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.829 A lot wrong, uh, but my, I guess my first encouragement, 0:05:45.889 --> 0:05:47.529 I don't know where you go to church or, you know, 0:05:47.659 --> 0:05:49.520 how you're getting back into it, but I would say, man, 0:05:49.599 --> 0:05:53.078 get to a healthy church, find some, someone there that 0:05:53.079 --> 0:05:56.210 can disciple you, that you can talk directly to about 0:05:56.210 --> 0:05:58.970 these things, and before you jump into a marriage, which 0:05:58.969 --> 0:06:02.138 is a covenant for life, um, I would say slew, 0:06:02.479 --> 0:06:04.609 pump your brakes. Don't make, don't let, don't let one 0:06:04.609 --> 0:06:05.750 mistake become a second mistake. 0:06:06.389 --> 0:06:09.270 Get some counsel before you take another step, yeah, and 0:06:09.270 --> 0:06:11.199 if you guys don't have a church, you can go 0:06:11.198 --> 0:06:14.180 to Calvary Chapel Inglewood if you're in the LA area 0:06:14.180 --> 0:06:18.599 or Revi OC in Huntington Beach if you're in Orange County. Um, 0:06:18.758 --> 0:06:20.919 if you're in neither of those places, you can, uh, 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:24.479 go to Calvarychapel.com, use the church finder feature there to 0:06:24.479 --> 0:06:26.419 look for a church near you. Mike, what do you 0:06:26.419 --> 0:06:30.078 say to Tyler? I mean, he, he stole all my thunder. Uh, 0:06:30.159 --> 0:06:32.999 the scripture is clear, uh, for, well, and first of all, hey, 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.599 way to listen to pastor's perspective, dude. 0:06:36.089 --> 0:06:39.059 That's awesome. Keep doing that. Uh, I think the pastors 0:06:39.060 --> 0:06:40.960 that are here give you a great insight on a 0:06:41.128 --> 0:06:44.139 whole slew of things, but yeah, first and foremost, I 0:06:44.139 --> 0:06:46.799 did have that question. OK, is this a theoretical child, 0:06:47.219 --> 0:06:49.259 which case, you know, you can get to theoretical arguments 0:06:49.258 --> 0:06:51.099 and oh, it's going to be the baby's going to 0:06:51.099 --> 0:06:54.698 be raised Catholic, but, but, uh, it leads me to 0:06:54.698 --> 0:06:57.020 believe that that's not the case. Like you said, there's 0:06:57.020 --> 0:07:00.599 a specific child. Should we raise the child, not our children, 0:07:01.060 --> 0:07:04.378 which would be more theoretical. This sounds very specific. So yeah, problem. 0:07:04.719 --> 0:07:07.479 If you, uh, I've already had sex, OK, now if 0:07:07.479 --> 0:07:09.439 you both come to Jesus say forgive us for what 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.590 we've done, God is gracious and compassionate, but that that 0:07:12.590 --> 0:07:15.679 behavior needs to stop as far as sex before marriage. 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:19.419 But now that there's a baby, um, yeah, that child, 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.759 that's the prime objective in terms of raising that child 0:07:22.759 --> 0:07:26.949 right now. Catholic Christian, I, I'm not here to, I, 0:07:27.039 --> 0:07:29.879 I'm Protestant. I would agree more with what you said. I, 0:07:29.919 --> 0:07:32.840 I've found that Protestant churches tend to be more inviting. 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:37.240 Whereas if you're Catholic, um, uh, as a Protestant, I 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:38.840 can't go to a Catholic church and take communion. They 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:41.439 won't let me, uh, and, and none of us can 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:44.270 unless the priest gives a special dispensation because it's a 0:07:44.270 --> 0:07:46.799 funeral or a or a wedding or something where all 0:07:46.799 --> 0:07:49.079 the people who believe in Jesus can take communion, but 0:07:49.079 --> 0:07:51.240 you're very restricted there. You have to be baptized in 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.960 the Catholic Church. There's a lot of restrictions religiously speaking 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:57.989 in the Catholic Church, whereas I would almost advise if they, 0:07:58.079 --> 0:08:00.020 these two people get that counsel. 0:08:00.430 --> 0:08:03.629 Uh, then they decide to marry that a Protestant church 0:08:03.629 --> 0:08:06.549 would be better for both because a Protestant church like 0:08:06.549 --> 0:08:09.990 a Calvary Chapel, the, the one thing that I think, uh, 0:08:10.150 --> 0:08:11.780 because I think it's important to discuss, like you said, 0:08:11.829 --> 0:08:15.419 what you believe about God is so important is, uh, 0:08:15.669 --> 0:08:17.619 what's best for the both of you if you truly 0:08:17.620 --> 0:08:20.190 love each other and if you are equally yoked. 0:08:20.660 --> 0:08:23.220 Because I think it says that in 2 Corinthians 6, 0:08:23.379 --> 0:08:26.220 don't be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. So you both 0:08:26.220 --> 0:08:27.699 believe in Jesus. Let's give them both the benefit of 0:08:27.699 --> 0:08:30.180 the doubt. Both believe in the virgin birth. I hope 0:08:30.180 --> 0:08:32.609 a Catholic does. I mean, that's one of their big things. 0:08:32.780 --> 0:08:35.460 We all do, right? That's, that, that is the deity 0:08:35.460 --> 0:08:38.359 of Christ, right? He is both God and man. That's good. 0:08:38.460 --> 0:08:41.780 So you both believe in Jesus, let's say. But like 0:08:41.780 --> 0:08:45.139 you said, there's a big problem. If this guy does 0:08:45.139 --> 0:08:47.259 not have a say in how the child is raised. 0:08:47.730 --> 0:08:52.439 That's a big red flag, bright shining spotlight, wake you 0:08:52.439 --> 0:08:55.290 up at 12 a.m. Don't go any further deer in 0:08:55.290 --> 0:09:00.650 the headlights, you better stop, collaborate and listen. Sorry, I 0:09:00.650 --> 0:09:02.030 don't know why my mind went there. 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.389 Uh, in terms of just pop culture, but yeah, we 0:09:05.389 --> 0:09:08.439 just need to, uh, yeah, I would say stop and, 0:09:08.578 --> 0:09:11.920 and rethink what's going on here. Now, like you said, we're, 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:14.639 it sounds like he's already in it, and this is 0:09:14.639 --> 0:09:18.119 gonna be rough. So counsel, biblical counsel is about the 0:09:18.119 --> 0:09:20.758 best thing that I could advise and wherever you can 0:09:20.759 --> 0:09:23.439 find that, um, and if he decides, no, I'm gonna 0:09:23.439 --> 0:09:26.920 go all in being Catholic, OK, then go all in 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:29.238 being Catholic. But if you are, you need to have 0:09:29.239 --> 0:09:31.199 a say in how the child is raised. 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:35.460 You, you, it's a, it's a partnership, um, and, and 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.600 I agree the husband is the leader of the home 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.920 according to Ephesians chapter 5, and, but also that means 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:44.989 to sacrifice himself for the wife and the children. So, um, 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.340 but yeah, it's a complex situation is what I'm hearing and, uh, 0:09:49.999 --> 0:09:52.238 before you get married, come to agreement with how you're 0:09:52.239 --> 0:09:54.800 going to raise children and how you're going to work together, 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.400 not one person lording their authority over the other, that 0:09:58.400 --> 0:09:59.660 you have to work together. 0:10:01.439 --> 0:10:03.459 Anything else, Bill? Yeah, I just, I would say, uh, 0:10:03.689 --> 0:10:05.849 you know, interesting, you know, my, my, I had a 0:10:05.850 --> 0:10:08.090 child when I was unsaved. So when I was 18 0:10:08.090 --> 0:10:09.759 years old, I had a child. Then I got saved 0:10:09.759 --> 0:10:12.650 when she was 8 months, and the pressure was we'll 0:10:12.650 --> 0:10:15.210 marry her and make a family, but, um, I got 0:10:15.210 --> 0:10:18.638 saved and she didn't, you know, um, that wasn't God's 0:10:18.639 --> 0:10:20.689 will for my life, you know. It was, and I, I, 0:10:20.770 --> 0:10:22.410 I just say to him, it'd be better, it was 0:10:22.410 --> 0:10:25.210 better for me to remain a single dad and be 0:10:25.210 --> 0:10:27.230 able to raise my daughter when she was with me 0:10:27.569 --> 0:10:28.889 according to what I believed. 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:30.960 Than it would have been to say I'm gonna lay 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:34.910 down my faith and, you know, merge, you know, you know, 0:10:35.290 --> 0:10:37.089 and have no say or you know, just, you know, 0:10:37.210 --> 0:10:39.520 give authority over here. So it's not ideal, it's not 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:42.050 the best case scenario, but you know, you get saved 0:10:42.050 --> 0:10:44.689 where you get saved and you obey God from that point. 0:10:44.809 --> 0:10:47.078 So if you're just coming back to the Lord now, 0:10:47.129 --> 0:10:49.009 I would say obey the Lord from where you are 0:10:49.009 --> 0:10:51.729 now and uh, yeah, I would, I would, I would 0:10:51.730 --> 0:10:52.749 press you to 0:10:53.300 --> 0:10:56.829 Focus on your relationship with the Lord primarily and let 0:10:56.828 --> 0:11:00.610 that influence how you proceed in your relationship with this lady. 0:11:01.460 --> 0:11:03.499 Tyler, thank you so much for sending in your question 0:11:03.499 --> 0:11:06.900 through the pastor's perspective page at Kwave.com. Now let's go 0:11:06.900 --> 0:11:12.619 to the phones. They're open till 4 o'clock, 888-564-6173 is 0:11:12.619 --> 0:11:15.699 our number. Pastors Bill Buffington and Mike Whitford are here 0:11:15.699 --> 0:11:18.498 to answer your questions, and we're gonna begin with Michelle 0:11:18.499 --> 0:11:22.059 in Los Angeles listening on KWave. Hi, Michelle, what's your 0:11:22.059 --> 0:11:22.578 question today? 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:27.400 Hi, um, I'm just, um, I'm actually just, um, kind 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.840 of battling, you know, kind of like if I'm doing 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.520 the right thing, and I just wanted kind of like 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:34.280 a pastor, pastor's perspective on it, and I love your show, 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.829 by the way, I listen to you guys all the time, um, but, um, um, 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:43.030 I have like a family member, and, um, and so, um, 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:48.020 you know, he's mentally disabled and, um, he was, he's, he's, um, 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:51.639 you know, he's diagnosed schizophrenic and then he's also. 0:11:52.739 --> 0:11:56.160 And then there was also um drug issues and, and 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.599 homelessness and so forth. And so, um I ended up 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.720 um having him, you know, move in and, and he's 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.999 trying to get right in his church and so forth 0:12:04.999 --> 0:12:08.199 and so working with him, you know, but I just, um, 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.759 you know, battling like outside influences that are not, you know, 0:12:11.879 --> 0:12:14.078 so Christian, like, you know, why are you doing this? And, 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:16.618 and it is taking on a lot and um. 0:12:17.410 --> 0:12:21.199 And it's just like, you know, um, a lot like biblically, 0:12:21.410 --> 0:12:25.949 biblically the question is like, you know, um, I know like, 0:12:26.170 --> 0:12:27.770 you know, people say, well, you know, you're only supposed 0:12:27.770 --> 0:12:30.439 to do that for your like your immediate family, or, 0:12:30.449 --> 0:12:33.980 you know, and not really like extended family, like, you know, and, 0:12:34.129 --> 0:12:35.730 and it's like, you know, the Bible says, you know, 0:12:35.850 --> 0:12:38.720 to love and to help and, you know, to, to, 0:12:38.889 --> 0:12:40.410 to do these things and, and 0:12:40.460 --> 0:12:42.850 You know, I just can't, like he's my brother, he's 0:12:42.850 --> 0:12:45.020 my family, like I can't just, you know, leave him 0:12:45.020 --> 0:12:48.379 out on the homeless and he's trying to do right 0:12:48.379 --> 0:12:50.660 and he's not going to be able to be on 0:12:50.660 --> 0:12:53.569 the road and he'll most likely die, honestly, out there. 0:12:53.578 --> 0:12:56.959 And I just, um, it's not in my heart to 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.439 I'm not the kind of person that can just leave 0:12:59.439 --> 0:13:02.759 him out there like that. Other people, you know, are 0:13:02.759 --> 0:13:05.550 more worldly in my family and are like, you know, 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:07.559 you know, he, he made his bed lie in that 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.119 kind of thing. So Michelle, quick question for you, and 0:13:10.119 --> 0:13:12.020 you said you're family. So who do you mean by family? 0:13:12.110 --> 0:13:15.280 Are you married with children, or are you talking about your, 0:13:15.328 --> 0:13:16.679 your parents, other people? 0:13:17.605 --> 0:13:20.824 Um, like my grown son who's, you know, who's like, 0:13:20.915 --> 0:13:23.994 you know, more into like, like the spiritual worldly type 0:13:23.994 --> 0:13:29.035 of spiritual, not, not biblically sound spiritual. Worldly type of spiritual. 0:13:29.114 --> 0:13:31.954 There's an oxymoron there, but, uh, Mike, we'll start with you. 0:13:32.035 --> 0:13:34.514 What do you say to Michelle? I mean, family is complex. 0:13:34.595 --> 0:13:36.395 I come from a broken home. My mom's with her 0:13:36.395 --> 0:13:39.194 third husband. Um, you know, I, I saw it from 0:13:39.194 --> 0:13:42.895 a kid's perspective, uh, she would often try and help both. 0:13:43.259 --> 0:13:47.759 Extended family and family, um, sometimes it was good. 0:13:48.809 --> 0:13:51.800 But most of the time it ended up not good 0:13:52.139 --> 0:13:54.660 and specifically for the kids, uh, brought a lot of 0:13:54.660 --> 0:13:57.738 abuse into our home. Um, in fact, people that she 0:13:57.739 --> 0:14:00.839 tried to help actually ended up abusing my sister directly 0:14:01.059 --> 0:14:02.559 in a horrible way, um. 0:14:02.929 --> 0:14:05.829 And so I think the first stage of a family 0:14:05.828 --> 0:14:09.150 member is to make sure that the immediate family is 0:14:09.150 --> 0:14:11.259 protected in this day and age, things are darker. Things 0:14:11.259 --> 0:14:14.619 aren't as what I would say, oh, they're family, therefore 0:14:14.619 --> 0:14:17.139 everything's gonna be OK. No, there are dark things in 0:14:17.139 --> 0:14:20.139 families that need to be guarded against and it's, it's 0:14:20.139 --> 0:14:22.369 really sad that we have to say that about our 0:14:22.369 --> 0:14:23.579 own families, but we have to be. 0:14:23.670 --> 0:14:25.910 On the lookout for our own children. So I would 0:14:25.910 --> 0:14:27.829 say make sure kids are protected, but I do want 0:14:27.829 --> 0:14:31.670 to point out first Timothy chapter 5, where, uh, Paul 0:14:31.670 --> 0:14:35.389 does tell Timothy to give instruction for people to take 0:14:35.389 --> 0:14:40.230 care of, uh, uh, relatives and immediate family. Uh, this 0:14:40.230 --> 0:14:42.509 is important. And so if you have the power to 0:14:42.509 --> 0:14:44.389 take care of your immediate family. 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.479 Or your relatives, then the Bible does give instruction to 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.920 do that. Uh, again, I would say with healthy boundaries, 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.639 I think that's the key. Whether or not you welcome 0:14:53.639 --> 0:14:55.920 them into your home, you need to make sure if 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:58.679 you are welcoming them, welcoming them into your home that 0:14:58.679 --> 0:15:01.639 you are protecting the people in the home, that they 0:15:01.639 --> 0:15:04.400 will not abuse you or the people around you if 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:05.199 they do that. 0:15:05.540 --> 0:15:07.860 I don't think the Bible is calling you to, to 0:15:07.860 --> 0:15:12.249 inure and and bring on abuse that is not healthy. 0:15:12.460 --> 0:15:14.819 I think you have to have a healthy boundary. Uh, 0:15:15.139 --> 0:15:16.970 and if that means, hey, I want to help out my, 0:15:17.059 --> 0:15:21.540 my brother or my relative, um, if that means funding, 0:15:21.619 --> 0:15:23.220 maybe they go to a teen Challenge, which. 0:15:23.324 --> 0:15:25.444 I know is a great organization to help those who 0:15:25.444 --> 0:15:28.725 are in drug addiction or mental health issues, or, uh, 0:15:28.754 --> 0:15:30.645 a facility that can help them in that way, but you, 0:15:30.804 --> 0:15:33.165 you can help them in other ways. So, that's where 0:15:33.165 --> 0:15:36.605 I would say, are you welcoming, welcoming them into your home? Uh, 0:15:36.684 --> 0:15:38.925 if so, what are the boundaries you have to keep 0:15:38.925 --> 0:15:42.795 it healthy and good for both you and them? And then, uh, 0:15:42.804 --> 0:15:47.665 other ramifications that that may have, uh, and not, um, enabling. 0:15:48.410 --> 0:15:52.559 One's personal, uh, struggles, if you will, whether that's drug 0:15:52.559 --> 0:15:54.329 addiction or anything else, but it sounds like you said 0:15:54.329 --> 0:15:57.610 mental health is part of that, uh, problem. Um, and 0:15:57.610 --> 0:15:59.329 I do know, uh, and one more thing just to 0:15:59.329 --> 0:16:01.520 make it relevant, I had an uncle who was in 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.009 and out of prison all the time and we would 0:16:03.009 --> 0:16:05.759 always be helping him. He would come, he would misuse 0:16:05.759 --> 0:16:09.210 our trust, steal things. Uh, in fact, my, me personally, 0:16:09.290 --> 0:16:11.639 I had a, a truck. Uh, he got into trouble 0:16:11.639 --> 0:16:12.629 with some drug dealers. 0:16:13.350 --> 0:16:15.850 My mom said I had to sign the truck over 0:16:16.069 --> 0:16:19.860 to drug dealers to save my uncle's life. So I 0:16:19.860 --> 0:16:21.350 literally signed the pink slip. 0:16:22.189 --> 0:16:23.939 Over to these drug dealers because she didn't want to 0:16:23.939 --> 0:16:25.699 bring the police in. Did you write drug dealers on 0:16:25.699 --> 0:16:27.749 the pink slip, I just signed it whatever name was 0:16:27.749 --> 0:16:29.550 given to me and I'm like, Mom, what do we 0:16:29.550 --> 0:16:31.030 just do? And she told me, I'm like, are you 0:16:31.030 --> 0:16:34.470 kidding me? You know, like 22 years old signing my 0:16:34.470 --> 0:16:36.869 truck when he was, I still was owed $1000 on 0:16:36.869 --> 0:16:39.069 that thing, so I never got saw the money, had 0:16:39.069 --> 0:16:40.470 to sign it over to these drugs. She's like, I'll 0:16:40.470 --> 0:16:42.109 take care of it. I'm like, yeah, OK, Mom, I've 0:16:42.110 --> 0:16:44.829 been here, done that. I'm older now, so I don't 0:16:44.829 --> 0:16:46.710 want to get too much into my story. I just 0:16:46.710 --> 0:16:49.389 want to make sure that when we do help our 0:16:49.389 --> 0:16:50.309 family members out. 0:16:50.780 --> 0:16:53.619 Put some good healthy boundaries up. You can't kick them 0:16:53.619 --> 0:16:55.660 to the curb, but you also can't put yourself in 0:16:55.660 --> 0:16:58.920 danger to help them because then it's not helping, it's enabling. 0:16:59.420 --> 0:17:01.699 So yeah, a couple of things. I, I, I wanted 0:17:01.699 --> 0:17:04.689 to ask you a few questions. Um, you know, who 0:17:04.689 --> 0:17:07.270 lives in your home? Are you married? Are you single? 0:17:07.369 --> 0:17:07.960 Do you have children? 0:17:08.819 --> 0:17:11.619 No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm sing, I'm single, and my 0:17:11.619 --> 0:17:14.540 son is 30, you know, so, so, you know, he, 0:17:14.619 --> 0:17:16.820 you know, so he's not a child, he's, you know, 0:17:16.940 --> 0:17:20.580 he's 30, um, you know, so, you know, so he, 0:17:20.670 --> 0:17:22.780 you know, so he's, he's a grown man, but he's, 0:17:22.859 --> 0:17:25.699 he's concerned, and I understand he's concerned. Yeah, so I, 0:17:25.780 --> 0:17:27.619 I think, you know, just everything that was just said, 0:17:27.700 --> 0:17:30.300 you know, just there, there should be healthy boundaries sometimes 0:17:30.300 --> 0:17:32.920 because you mentioned schizophrenic, but you also mentioned drugs. 0:17:33.429 --> 0:17:36.879 Uh, is, so schizophrenic, that's something that, you know, it's, 0:17:37.078 --> 0:17:39.029 it's something he's got to cope with and deal with. 0:17:39.168 --> 0:17:42.529 Drugs is another situation. Uh, are, are those things 0:17:43.190 --> 0:17:46.129 Both in, in action or is it just the schizophrenic 0:17:46.129 --> 0:17:49.550 that he's, he's dealing with? No, no, um, no, I'm 0:17:49.550 --> 0:17:52.349 definitely doing that. Um, like, like the other person said, 0:17:52.388 --> 0:17:55.139 I grew up, I grew up in, in, in a 0:17:55.138 --> 0:17:59.150 household like that where there was constantly like making enabling and, 0:17:59.229 --> 0:18:02.229 and we have to give up stuff to, to, to, to, 0:18:02.349 --> 0:18:05.530 there was no accountability, no responsibility for everything that everybody 0:18:05.530 --> 0:18:07.869 was done, but I grew up where I'm not going 0:18:07.869 --> 0:18:10.310 to allow anything like that. And, and so like that 0:18:10.310 --> 0:18:12.629 was the one thing about coming into my household. 0:18:12.744 --> 0:18:16.025 This is not gonna be. And so I do have that, um, 0:18:16.344 --> 0:18:19.665 established with boundaries and borders, border, you know, it's not 0:18:19.665 --> 0:18:22.464 gonna be tolerated and, and, um, you know, he's going 0:18:22.464 --> 0:18:25.524 to celebrate recovery and he's been clean since he's been 0:18:25.525 --> 0:18:28.415 at my house. Good, good. So yeah, then I, I, 0:18:28.474 --> 0:18:31.024 you know, the Lord's put that in your heart and 0:18:31.025 --> 0:18:34.344 it's not endangering anybody else and you're, you know, you're 0:18:34.344 --> 0:18:38.145 sacrificing and, you know, and doing so in order to 0:18:38.145 --> 0:18:41.984 love your brother who has some challenges, uh, I wouldn't listen. 0:18:42.065 --> 0:18:42.614 I wouldn't. 0:18:43.249 --> 0:18:46.679 I wouldn't let outside voices, you know, uh, 0:18:47.770 --> 0:18:51.129 Just, you know, persuade me away from how the Lord 0:18:51.129 --> 0:18:53.849 is leading, you know, um, and you know, there's, yeah, 0:18:53.969 --> 0:18:55.599 I think, I think that you're doing a great thing, 0:18:55.609 --> 0:18:59.040 and I pray that your brother is successful and does well. 0:18:59.489 --> 0:19:01.879 The Lord, um, Lord keeps him. Yeah, and I, I 0:19:01.879 --> 0:19:03.570 would add to that, yeah, um, I should have probably 0:19:03.570 --> 0:19:07.050 started with that question. Uh, do you have healthy boundaries 0:19:07.050 --> 0:19:11.170 in place because biblically, yeah, First Peter chapter 5, you 0:19:11.170 --> 0:19:13.238 should help somebody, especially if they want to get better. 0:19:13.450 --> 0:19:15.280 If they have a, if they're showing signs of like, no, 0:19:15.369 --> 0:19:16.229 I want this. 0:19:16.709 --> 0:19:20.119 Then yeah, you keep walking with that person. It's rough, but, 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:22.900 but hey, that's good. That's a beautiful thing. 0:19:24.959 --> 0:19:27.520 Michelle, thank you so much for calling in today on 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:33.229 Pastor's Perspective. 888-564-6173 is our number. Let's talk to Floyd, 0:19:33.239 --> 0:19:35.909 who works for the Department of Homeland Security. No, no, no, 0:19:35.979 --> 0:19:38.259 he's calling from Homeland California. Never mind. 0:19:39.330 --> 0:19:41.770 Floyd, welcome to Pastor's perspective. 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:45.968 Thank you, thank you. Um, I listen to you guys 0:19:45.969 --> 0:19:50.670 almost every day. I, I have a quick question, really. Um, recently, 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:55.489 our church ordained a woman pastor and we had a 0:19:55.489 --> 0:20:00.129 few members of our congregation leave because of that, and 0:20:00.129 --> 0:20:03.209 there are a couple others who question it, so I 0:20:03.209 --> 0:20:07.649 was just calling to ask, um, if women pastors are 0:20:07.650 --> 0:20:11.190