WEBVTT - Stop Hijacking Your Relationships -- Part 1 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:03.440 Today on Bold Steps with Marc Jobe. We're learning how 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.720 to stop sabotaging ourselves and our relationships. 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:12.559 So many of us desire to have healthy relationships. But listen, 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:18.400 we self hijack because of our bad habits and practices 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:22.080 when it comes to relationships, and we end up in 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:26.360 a destination that's not where we want to be because 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:29.640 not someone else's fault, but our fault. 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:45.040 Welcome to Bold Steps with Marc Jobe. Marc is founding 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:48.479 pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago. Well, Marc, 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:50.000 I don't think there's a person on the planet who 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:53.159 doesn't want a better connection with their family, with their spouse. 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:56.680 So why do we sabotage ourselves in our relationships? 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.160 You know, Wayne, we don't do it on purpose. No 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.200 one that I talked to says, hey, I want to 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.960 have a dysfunctional family. I want people to hate me. 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:08.119 I want to turn people away or push people away because. 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:08.360 I'm. 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:13.000 Obnoxious. But so many times we do it without being 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:18.640 fully conscious of it. In Ephesians, Paul tells us that 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:21.480 the old man has a way of relating to people, 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:24.080 and he says, put off the old man and put 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:26.200 on the new man. And he goes through a series 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:28.920 of habits that the new man needs to engage in, 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.760 in relationships. So this is going to be so important 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.040 for those of you that are working on your relationship. 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.120 I'm looking forward to this message today from our new 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:41.479 series Not Alone. Here's Mark Jobe in a lesson titled 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.560 Stop Hijacking Your Relationships. 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:47.600 I'd like for you to take your Bibles today and 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.480 turn to Ephesians chapter four. We're going to be looking 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:58.240 at verses 25 through 32 of Ephesians chapter four. We're 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:03.170 in a series entitled Not Alone. And today I've entitled 0:02:03.170 --> 0:02:12.530 this message stop hijacking your relationships. Several years ago, I 0:02:12.530 --> 0:02:15.210 was in a plane. Now, let me say, I've never 0:02:15.210 --> 0:02:21.690 been hijacked before, thank God. If you live in Chicagoland area, 0:02:21.730 --> 0:02:24.890 you'll know that there was an escalation over the last 0:02:24.889 --> 0:02:28.850 few months of carjackings. That seems like it's getting a 0:02:28.850 --> 0:02:32.250 little bit more under control now. But I was on 0:02:32.250 --> 0:02:39.130 a plane from Chicago O'Hare airport flying to Madrid Barajas Airport, 0:02:39.690 --> 0:02:43.169 and we were over the Atlantic Ocean. And the pilot 0:02:43.169 --> 0:02:48.290 says to us, uh, due to weather, we have to 0:02:48.330 --> 0:02:52.769 make an emergency landing in Portugal. And I looked out 0:02:52.770 --> 0:02:58.730 the window. Clear blue sky. And he said, so we 0:02:58.730 --> 0:03:03.410 apologize for inconvenience, but we have to land in Portugal. 0:03:03.930 --> 0:03:07.410 And so as soon as we landed in Portugal, policemen 0:03:07.410 --> 0:03:10.250 entered into the airplane and were ushering us out of 0:03:10.250 --> 0:03:14.089 the airplane rapidly, like in a panic mode. And when 0:03:14.090 --> 0:03:16.530 we asked, hey, what's going on here? They told us, well, 0:03:16.730 --> 0:03:22.570 there's supposedly a bomb on this airplane. Now that'll move 0:03:22.570 --> 0:03:26.730 you quick off the airplane. And someone had called up 0:03:26.730 --> 0:03:28.570 and they had said that there was a bomb on 0:03:28.570 --> 0:03:32.370 the airplane. And so although they were not hijackers there, 0:03:32.490 --> 0:03:37.490 it caused us to reroute our vehicle, our, our transportation 0:03:37.490 --> 0:03:42.730 to another country, because that's what hijacking does. You are 0:03:42.730 --> 0:03:47.690 in route to a destination and hijacking reroutes you off 0:03:47.690 --> 0:03:50.490 that destination to another place that you don't want to 0:03:50.490 --> 0:03:57.130 go to by force. And so many of us desire 0:03:57.130 --> 0:04:01.740 to have healthy relationships. Desire to have a good marriage, 0:04:02.220 --> 0:04:08.740 a strong family, a healthy community. But listen, we self 0:04:08.860 --> 0:04:14.740 hijack because of our bad habits and practices when it 0:04:14.740 --> 0:04:19.540 comes to relationships, and we end up in a destination 0:04:19.540 --> 0:04:23.940 that's not where we want to be because not someone 0:04:23.940 --> 0:04:27.740 else's fault, but our fault. And so I want to 0:04:27.740 --> 0:04:30.140 talk to you about that as we talk about the 0:04:30.140 --> 0:04:33.060 topic of not Alone. And today I want to talk 0:04:33.060 --> 0:04:37.260 to you about relationships because often times we find ourselves 0:04:37.260 --> 0:04:41.860 isolated and alone, not because of our circumstances, but because 0:04:41.860 --> 0:04:46.020 of our bad practices. When it comes to relationships. Are 0:04:46.020 --> 0:04:49.700 you ready to learn today? Okay, so take your Bibles. 0:04:49.700 --> 0:04:54.700 Ephesians chapter four. We're going to begin reading in verse 25. 0:04:55.540 --> 0:05:01.100 Verse 25 starts by saying, therefore when you see the word. 0:05:01.100 --> 0:05:03.540 Therefore in the Bible, you have to ask yourself this 0:05:03.540 --> 0:05:08.460 question what is it? Therefore, it means that I'm building 0:05:08.460 --> 0:05:12.979 on the previous thought. The Bible is a series. Most 0:05:12.980 --> 0:05:15.659 of the writings are a series of thoughts that build 0:05:15.660 --> 0:05:19.300 upon each other. So it's dangerous to take one thought 0:05:19.300 --> 0:05:22.820 or one verse out of the Bible out of context. 0:05:23.100 --> 0:05:27.700 And so the apostle Paul is writing to the Ephesian believers. 0:05:27.860 --> 0:05:31.219 And in verse 25 he says, therefore. So immediately we 0:05:31.220 --> 0:05:33.620 have to look at the previous verses and ask, what 0:05:33.620 --> 0:05:38.500 is he building on verse 22? It says, you were 0:05:38.500 --> 0:05:42.140 taught with regard to your former way of life to 0:05:42.180 --> 0:05:47.500 put off, say, put off the old self, which is 0:05:47.500 --> 0:05:51.660 being corrupted by deceitful desires. To be made new in 0:05:51.660 --> 0:05:54.780 the attitude of your minds and to put on, say, 0:05:54.779 --> 0:05:59.260 put on the new self, created to be like God 0:05:59.260 --> 0:06:05.110 in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, so what he's building 0:06:05.110 --> 0:06:09.349 on is the thought of you are not the old 0:06:09.350 --> 0:06:13.510 person that you were. You have to put on a 0:06:13.550 --> 0:06:18.029 new self and take off the old self and the 0:06:18.029 --> 0:06:21.710 old self. Acts different than the new self when it 0:06:21.710 --> 0:06:25.909 comes to relationships. Some of you have come to Christ, 0:06:25.910 --> 0:06:30.909 but you are still engaging in relationships the way that 0:06:30.910 --> 0:06:34.630 you did it with your old self. And God is 0:06:34.630 --> 0:06:38.790 saying that no longer is suitable for the person that 0:06:38.790 --> 0:06:44.030 you are in Christ. So he says in verse 25, 0:06:44.070 --> 0:06:49.029 therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak 0:06:49.070 --> 0:06:52.750 truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of 0:06:52.750 --> 0:06:55.990 one body. So the Apostle Paul does is he gives 0:06:55.990 --> 0:07:01.710 us five practices to engage in relationships with your new self. 0:07:01.910 --> 0:07:09.029 The new self. Five practices practice number one. Stop pretending 0:07:09.550 --> 0:07:17.990 and be honest. You must put off falsehood and speak 0:07:18.030 --> 0:07:22.870 truthfully to your neighbor. For we are members of one body. 0:07:23.750 --> 0:07:27.710 Put off that little statement put off in the Greek 0:07:28.030 --> 0:07:31.230 has to do with. Put away once and for all. 0:07:31.310 --> 0:07:35.350 It's a decisive act to get rid of something once 0:07:35.550 --> 0:07:39.710 and for all. And he's basically saying, now that you 0:07:39.710 --> 0:07:43.550 are a Christ follower, now that you are a believer, 0:07:43.910 --> 0:07:53.470 there is no absolutely no room in your relationships for dishonesty, deceit, lying, 0:07:53.670 --> 0:07:57.710 and manipulation. How many of you know that in your 0:07:57.710 --> 0:08:02.800 old life? Some of us were master manipulators and liars. 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.320 It was just the culture in which we lived. You 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:11.160 got on a dating site, man. You really doctored up 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:18.520 that picture. Look, nothing like who you really are. You 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:22.600 spruced up your resume, you gave yourself a doctorate degree. 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:25.679 Or so you said. You love puppy when you puppies, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.640 when you hate them just to try to manipulate and 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:31.120 try to find, uh, tell people what you thought they 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:35.439 wanted to hear. Because sometimes in our old self, truth 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:39.120 is subjective and you had very little respect for truth. 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.440 It was all about communicating in a way to get 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.800 something out of it. And the Bible tells us in 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:49.560 your new self, there is no room for dishonesty. And 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:51.199 I know what some of you are saying, pastor, I'm 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.680 not a liar. I don't really tell lies. I just 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.840 tell little white lies. And I just want to say, 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:03.760 since when were lies color coded. Well, that's a white lie, 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:08.120 a blue lie. Black lie. Purple light pink lie. People 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:09.760 tell me that all the time. No, that was just 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:12.320 a little white lie. And and let me. Can I 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:16.120 tell you something? In scripture? There is no color coding 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:22.400 of our lies. A lie is a lie. Period. And 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:27.080 if you're going to have a relationship, God's way that 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:30.439 engages people, the way that God is asking you to engage, 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:35.160 it means that there is honesty. Even if it hurts. 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:41.600 There is no manipulation. There is truth telling. There is vulnerability, 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.400 even when there's consequences there. And that's what the apostle 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:50.720 Paul says. He says, put off falsehood. Falsehood is pretending, 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:56.280 bending the truth, manipulating, telling lies, covering things up. And 0:09:56.280 --> 0:10:01.930 speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we all are members 0:10:01.929 --> 0:10:04.569 of one body. So he goes on to tell us 0:10:04.570 --> 0:10:07.850 that the way that you speak to other people is important, 0:10:07.850 --> 0:10:11.050 because ultimately you are connected to those people. And when 0:10:11.050 --> 0:10:14.290 you lie to someone else, you in essence, are doing 0:10:14.290 --> 0:10:17.890 damage to the body because you are connected to the body. 0:10:18.770 --> 0:10:21.170 It tells us, by the way, in John chapter eight, 0:10:21.170 --> 0:10:27.449 verse 44, Jesus is telling us that, um, it's talking 0:10:27.450 --> 0:10:30.050 about the enemy. It's talking about the dark side. It's 0:10:30.050 --> 0:10:31.850 talking about the devil. It says, for there is no 0:10:31.850 --> 0:10:36.650 truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, 0:10:37.450 --> 0:10:40.890 for he is a liar and the father of lies. 0:10:41.010 --> 0:10:44.330 I want you to understand something. The language of the 0:10:44.330 --> 0:10:48.570 kingdom of God is truth. The language of the Dark 0:10:48.570 --> 0:10:54.929 Kingdom is lies and deception. The native language. What do 0:10:54.929 --> 0:10:58.849 I mean by native language? Every country has a native language, 0:10:58.890 --> 0:11:02.290 a native tongue. Its what is spoken in that place. 0:11:03.850 --> 0:11:07.090 I grew up in the country of Spain. In Spain, 0:11:07.090 --> 0:11:11.010 our native tongue is Spanish. Now, I know that some 0:11:11.010 --> 0:11:13.089 of you think it's weird Spanish. Those of you that 0:11:13.090 --> 0:11:17.689 speak Spanish because it's Castilian Spanish and we say things 0:11:17.690 --> 0:11:28.010 like zapato, Noria, Corazon and, um, but but it's still Spanish. 0:11:28.010 --> 0:11:31.490 It's Spanish. And so I grew up in Spain, everywhere 0:11:31.490 --> 0:11:36.530 outside of my house. I spoke Spanish, Castilian Spanish in 0:11:36.530 --> 0:11:40.610 my house. I spoke English because my house, my parents 0:11:40.610 --> 0:11:43.370 were Americans. And so I spoke English in my house, 0:11:43.570 --> 0:11:46.530 but we were not speaking the native language. When I 0:11:46.530 --> 0:11:49.330 came to the US, we spoke English, and English is 0:11:49.330 --> 0:11:53.930 our native language. Here the native tongue is the tongue 0:11:53.970 --> 0:11:59.210 of a culture. Listen, you are now people of the 0:11:59.210 --> 0:12:03.580 kingdom of God. If you have chosen to follow Jesus, 0:12:03.780 --> 0:12:06.660 if you are a Christian, you are people of the kingdom. 0:12:07.179 --> 0:12:14.260 Your native language is truth. Your native language now is 0:12:14.260 --> 0:12:18.340 truth in love. And some of you are still practicing 0:12:18.340 --> 0:12:20.540 and speaking the language that you grew up in, which 0:12:20.540 --> 0:12:23.220 was the language of deception and lying and bending of 0:12:23.220 --> 0:12:27.860 truth and camouflaging and manipulation. And what Paul is telling 0:12:27.860 --> 0:12:30.220 us is you are to take off the old and 0:12:30.220 --> 0:12:33.620 put on the new, and the new has integrity. 0:12:42.820 --> 0:12:45.500 You're listening to Bold Steps with pastor Mark Jobe. Ah, 0:12:45.500 --> 0:12:47.900 pausing our message for just a moment to talk a 0:12:47.900 --> 0:12:50.420 little bit about ways that you can connect with this ministry. 0:12:50.420 --> 0:12:53.060 One way, Mark, is for our listeners to become bold 0:12:53.059 --> 0:12:54.059 partners with us. 0:12:54.260 --> 0:12:56.940 Yes. And we're so grateful for the Bold partners. If 0:12:56.980 --> 0:12:59.219 you've been listening to this program for a while, you 0:12:59.220 --> 0:13:03.420 know that it's listener supported and our bowl partners, they 0:13:03.460 --> 0:13:07.580 commit to a monthly gift, a financial gift of any amount, 0:13:07.580 --> 0:13:12.020 but it's a monthly gift and we are so appreciative. Also, 0:13:12.020 --> 0:13:14.700 it's important to note that if someone gives a gift 0:13:14.700 --> 0:13:19.460 of $30 or more, it opens up a whole door 0:13:19.580 --> 0:13:21.100 of opportunities for you. 0:13:21.140 --> 0:13:23.060 Well, let me mention one of those opportunities. When you 0:13:23.059 --> 0:13:26.780 give $30 a month or more, you'll receive a 50% 0:13:26.780 --> 0:13:30.580 discount off everything in the Moody Publishers catalog. Now, Mark, 0:13:30.580 --> 0:13:33.179 for listeners around the country, Moody Publishers is part of 0:13:33.220 --> 0:13:35.900 Moody Bible Institute, a historic publishing house. 0:13:35.940 --> 0:13:41.120 Yeah, since 1894. And it's noteworthy that there are a 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:45.460 thousand books available in print, e-book, or audio format. So 0:13:45.500 --> 0:13:48.780 when you get $30 or more, you get what, Wayne. 50% 0:13:48.780 --> 0:13:52.100 off off of a thousand books that are in print. 0:13:52.100 --> 0:13:54.460 So there's a wide selection. Great. 0:13:54.660 --> 0:13:57.740 So thank you for considering becoming a gold partner today. 0:13:57.740 --> 0:13:59.660 And as you think about it, let me share this 0:13:59.750 --> 0:14:02.150 from Kate. Kate says I want Mark job to know 0:14:02.150 --> 0:14:04.750 how much his program means to me. Pastor Mark is 0:14:04.750 --> 0:14:06.949 the best preacher I've ever heard in my life. It's 0:14:06.950 --> 0:14:10.390 such an encouragement and it's reinvigorated my walk with Jesus. 0:14:10.470 --> 0:14:11.110 Isn't that nice? 0:14:11.150 --> 0:14:13.870 That is great. Thank you for that word of encouragement, Kate. 0:14:13.910 --> 0:14:16.350 Well, just think of Kate. When you become a bold partner, 0:14:16.390 --> 0:14:18.790 it's listeners like that that you're helping with your gifts. 0:14:18.790 --> 0:14:21.510 So we appreciate it very much. Go to bold steps.org 0:14:21.670 --> 0:14:24.870 to sign up and become a bold steps partner. All right, 0:14:25.070 --> 0:14:28.030 back into today's message. Now once again, here's Mark Jobe. 0:14:33.390 --> 0:14:35.990 Now let me say this about speaking truth, by the way. 0:14:36.830 --> 0:14:39.950 Once in a while I'll have someone tell me really proudly. 0:14:39.950 --> 0:14:44.830 Usually they say, pastor, I always speak the truth. People 0:14:44.830 --> 0:14:50.030 always know what's on my mind. And that's the excuse 0:14:50.030 --> 0:14:55.750 for them to be brutally honest and sometimes, uh, unconsciously 0:14:55.750 --> 0:14:59.270 step over all everybody. Can I tell you something? We 0:14:59.310 --> 0:15:03.840 don't always want to know what's on your mind. You 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:06.800 can speak the truth. Sometimes you just don't need to 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:10.479 say what's on your mind. The Bible says in Ephesians 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:15.720 a couple of verses before it says instead, speak the 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:20.560 truth in what? In love. Speak the truth. In love 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:25.720 we will grow to become in every respect mature body. 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:28.720 Who is the head that is Christ? In other words, 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:35.480 our native tongue is truth, truth telling, honestly, void of manipulation, 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.880 full of integrity. But we don't just blatantly say whatever's 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.440 on our mind. We are able to discipline our tongue 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.400 and choose to speak what we need to speak, especially 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:52.240 if it's edifying to the people around us. That is 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.880 a new language for most of us. Can I tell 0:15:55.880 --> 0:16:00.280 you something? If your dating relationship right now is based 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.280 on lies and half truths and manipulation. It will come 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:11.600 to a quick, rapid crash in the future. There will 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:19.160 be distrust, disrespect and disillusionment. Wherever there is lies, wherever 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:25.520 there is a lack of transparency, where there is no truth. Ultimately, 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:30.120 relationships will come crashing down. And the Apostle Paul is 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.600 telling us, now that you're in Christ, you engage in 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.440 your relationships with a degree of honesty that you never 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:40.760 had before. There is a transparency. Our goal is not 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.800 to put on a facade. Our goal is not to 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.080 lie so that people. We tell people what they want 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.920 to hear, but our goal is to be as truthful 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:55.560 in love as possibly with everyone that's around us. Number two, 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:01.560 I'm talking about the habits of the new person. Number two, 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:05.120 he goes on and says, not only stop pretending and 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:09.679 be honest, but secondly, don't let anger. Oh, this is 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:14.760 a big one. Don't let anger turn into a foothold. 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.440 Notice what it says in verse 26. In your anger 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:26.920 do not sin. Do not let the sun go down 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:30.159 while you are still angry, and do not give the 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:35.879 devil a foothold. Is it just me, or does it 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:39.600 feel like there's a lot more angry people these days? 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:42.920 Is it just me or does it feel like on 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:47.560 the expressway there's a lot of angry drivers. Is it 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.440 just me or is it it feel like on social media, 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:54.360 whatever you post, people want to vent and there's extremes 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:59.080 and anger and it's volatile. We live in a time 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:03.810 where anger has escalated, where people's emotions are on edge. 0:18:03.850 --> 0:18:08.210 Now let me say this about anger. Anger is an emotion. 0:18:09.050 --> 0:18:16.409 Emotions are not sinful. Emotions are secondary responses to our thinking. 0:18:17.650 --> 0:18:20.690 It's not a sin to get angry. It's not a 0:18:20.690 --> 0:18:24.250 sin to get sad. It's not a sin to get joyful. 0:18:24.570 --> 0:18:29.530 But our emotions can lead to sin. Are you tracking 0:18:29.530 --> 0:18:33.090 with me? Jesus was the Son of God and was 0:18:33.090 --> 0:18:37.729 perfect in every way, and Jesus became angry. The Bible 0:18:37.730 --> 0:18:40.010 tells us that he went into the temple, and he 0:18:40.010 --> 0:18:42.610 saw what they were doing in the temple, and that 0:18:42.930 --> 0:18:46.330 he became angry. And he turned over the tables in 0:18:46.330 --> 0:18:48.890 the temple because he was angry. But yet we know 0:18:48.890 --> 0:18:51.970 he did not sin. In the Old Testament, it tells 0:18:51.970 --> 0:18:55.970 us that God became angry. There's an emotion of anger, 0:18:56.290 --> 0:18:59.129 and there is such a thing as righteous anger. What 0:18:59.130 --> 0:19:03.980 is anger? Anger. If you take a definition of anger, 0:19:04.020 --> 0:19:09.180 anger is a strong emotion accompanied by feelings of strong 0:19:09.180 --> 0:19:17.500 burst of energy. It can be characterized by great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath, 0:19:17.500 --> 0:19:21.859 and at times rage. So I want to just calm 0:19:21.859 --> 0:19:25.060 your spirit down and let you know that anger is 0:19:25.060 --> 0:19:27.899 not a sin. So if you got angry this morning 0:19:27.900 --> 0:19:31.060 because your teenage daughter was taking 45 minutes in that 0:19:31.060 --> 0:19:33.700 bathroom and not letting anybody else get in, you didn't 0:19:33.700 --> 0:19:41.340 necessarily sin. However, what the Apostle Paul tells us is 0:19:41.340 --> 0:19:47.460 that a lot of people allow anger to sabotage their relationships. 0:19:48.180 --> 0:19:52.340 And this is what he says in your anger, do 0:19:52.460 --> 0:19:57.700 not sin. Don't let the sun go down while you 0:19:57.700 --> 0:20:01.900 are still angry. So what the Apostle Paul does is 0:20:01.900 --> 0:20:04.420 he tells us that if we're not going to allow 0:20:04.420 --> 0:20:07.740 our anger to turn into sin, then we have to 0:20:07.780 --> 0:20:12.260 put a time limit on how long we're allowed to 0:20:12.260 --> 0:20:15.500 be angry with an individual. Are you tracking with me? 0:20:17.460 --> 0:20:22.900 So it's okay to be angry for a season, but 0:20:22.900 --> 0:20:24.980 if you don't let. If you don't deal with the 0:20:24.980 --> 0:20:32.540 emotion of anger, anger will evolve into something less volatile 0:20:32.820 --> 0:20:40.700 but more deadly, like bitterness or resentment or unforgiveness. I 0:20:40.700 --> 0:20:44.500 remember when I first got married, we were still trying 0:20:44.500 --> 0:20:50.020 to figure out our conflict resolution dance. How many of 0:20:50.020 --> 0:20:51.700 you know that you have to figure out how to 0:20:51.740 --> 0:20:55.820 fight fair? And everybody has a little bit of their 0:20:55.820 --> 0:21:00.340 own little dance. Some people clam up and get real quiet. 0:21:00.540 --> 0:21:03.220 Some people get real verbal and want to talk about it. 0:21:03.260 --> 0:21:05.820 How many of you know what I'm talking about? You 0:21:05.820 --> 0:21:07.699 want to talk? And someone you say, well, what's going on? 0:21:07.700 --> 0:21:09.700 Talk to me. Talk to me. And they're like, mhm, mhm. 0:21:12.580 --> 0:21:14.900 I remember one of our first fights and we were 0:21:14.940 --> 0:21:18.780 we had gone through premarital counseling and our pre-marital counselors 0:21:18.780 --> 0:21:20.700 had told us, hey, you need to figure out how 0:21:20.700 --> 0:21:25.020 to fight fair. And you have to understand how people react. 0:21:25.020 --> 0:21:28.020 And everybody's wired a little bit different. And so I 0:21:28.020 --> 0:21:32.340 was coming with my counseling, um, mindset there. They, uh, 0:21:32.380 --> 0:21:35.260 keeping in mind what I had been told. And so, uh, 0:21:35.260 --> 0:21:37.740 I got in the car to drive and I said, 0:21:38.420 --> 0:21:46.179 what's wrong? Nothing. Is everything okay? Yeah. You want to 0:21:46.180 --> 0:21:51.739 talk about it? Nope. Did I do something wrong? How 0:21:51.740 --> 0:21:54.939 many of you know that look and how you know 0:21:54.980 --> 0:21:57.100 you're trying to say, what did I do? Let me think. 0:21:57.140 --> 0:21:59.590 Let me think back. Like I'm supposed to know what 0:21:59.590 --> 0:22:01.670 I did wrong. Like, I'm even more angry that you 0:22:01.670 --> 0:22:05.470 don't know what you did wrong. And so I said, well, 0:22:05.470 --> 0:22:08.910 do you want to talk about it? Nope. So I said, okay, hon, 0:22:09.830 --> 0:22:12.229 I don't know what I did wrong. I'm trying to 0:22:12.230 --> 0:22:14.470 figure out what I did wrong. Obviously, whatever I did 0:22:14.470 --> 0:22:17.950 wrong really upset you. How? I said, how long do 0:22:17.950 --> 0:22:21.670 you need? Now, my intentions were right. I should have 0:22:21.670 --> 0:22:24.629 probably agreed upon this before she was mad because she 0:22:24.630 --> 0:22:27.350 didn't take kindly to it. But essence with the Apostle 0:22:27.350 --> 0:22:29.629 Paul is telling us, is that there should be a 0:22:29.630 --> 0:22:32.790 time limit to your anger. And the time limit is 0:22:32.790 --> 0:22:38.990 this 24 hours. You should deal with your anger before 0:22:38.990 --> 0:22:41.590 you go to bed and not sleep on it, and 0:22:41.590 --> 0:22:44.830 wake up the next day with greater anger. It says, 0:22:44.830 --> 0:22:49.030 do not let the sun go down on your anger. 0:22:49.550 --> 0:22:56.910 Verse 27, do not give the devil a foothold. If 0:22:56.910 --> 0:23:01.590 you look at this phrasing in the Greek literally. It says, 0:23:01.830 --> 0:23:07.190 do not grant space to the devil to move into. 0:23:14.390 --> 0:23:17.110 This is bold steps, and we'll continue this discussion on 0:23:17.109 --> 0:23:19.390 how our anger can give the devil a foothold in 0:23:19.390 --> 0:23:21.950 our lives. So please keep listening to the Bible teaching 0:23:21.990 --> 0:23:25.230 of Mark Jobe here at Bold Steps. We love getting 0:23:25.230 --> 0:23:27.869 letters from listeners like the one we heard earlier. And 0:23:27.869 --> 0:23:29.429 if you'd like to connect with us, be sure to 0:23:29.470 --> 0:23:34.750 write to us at Bold Steps. 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois. 0:23:34.790 --> 0:23:41.430 606 ten. That's 820 North LaSalle, Chicago, Illinois. 606 ten. 0:23:41.910 --> 0:23:45.350 Or connect with us online when you go to bold steps.org, 0:23:45.910 --> 0:23:48.150 you can also stay connected with the Bold Steps team 0:23:48.150 --> 0:23:50.790 and your fellow listeners through the week. By going online 0:23:50.790 --> 0:23:53.909 to your favorite social media platform. You'll find us listed 0:23:53.910 --> 0:23:56.830 as Bold Steps Radio on Facebook and Instagram, and we 0:23:56.830 --> 0:23:59.880 look forward to seeing you there. Mark, let's talk about 0:23:59.880 --> 0:24:02.160 our bold step gift. I think it's fair to say 0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:05.119 that life is filled with struggles, giants, if you will, 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.239 that loom over us and make us feel small. And 0:24:07.240 --> 0:24:10.200 one of the worst is anxiety, isn't it? And in 0:24:10.240 --> 0:24:14.840 Louie Giglio's book, Goliath Must Fall. It helps us overcome anxiety. 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:19.960 Yeah. No, Wayne, we all have giants, and giants are Goliath. 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:23.600 Are those huge enemies that without the power of God 0:24:23.600 --> 0:24:30.240 we can't overcome. Anxiety is huge these days. In this generation. 0:24:30.240 --> 0:24:34.639 It is massive like I've never seen before. But Louie 0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:38.760 points out that anxiety isn't just a thing. It's usually 0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:43.840 a symptom that arises from other things in our life. 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:47.640 Our thinking are trying to control things that we have 0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:53.280 no control over, letting our fear sort of sabotage our faith. 0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:56.600 I believe that Louie is onto something here when he 0:24:56.600 --> 0:25:01.360 says that unless we tackle this giant of anxiety. It 0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:04.680 will tackle us, and he gives some real practical insights 0:25:04.680 --> 0:25:09.680 into how to take down this huge giant called anxiety. 0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:11.920 We'll send you a copy when you give a donation 0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:19.280 of any amount. Call 800 D.L. Moody. That's (800) 356-6639, or 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:23.920 give online at bold steps.org/give. You can also send that 0:25:23.920 --> 0:25:26.320 gift through the mail. Write to us at Bold Steps, 0:25:26.320 --> 0:25:32.719 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 606 ten. I'm Wayne Shepherd. 0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:34.800 Thanks for joining us. Be sure to join us again 0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:37.920 tomorrow when we'll discover how to give more than we take. 0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:41.119 Our message comes from our series titled Not Alone, and 0:25:41.119 --> 0:25:44.560 you'll hear it Tuesday on Bold Steps with Mark Joe. 0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:49.120 Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a Ministry 0:25:49.119 --> 0:25:50.720 of Moody Bible Institute.