S1: Do you see yourself the way God sees you? We're
S1: unpacking this important question this Mother's Day, especially for daughters
S1: here on today's Bold Steps with Mark Jobe.
S2: When you're secure in who you are, you're able to say,
S2: this is who I am. This is the way God
S2: made me. And it's not about what do people think
S2: about me? Because you've already been established in your worth
S2: and your value that's been given to you by your
S2: earthly father and by your heavenly father who spoken into
S2: your life that you are a daughter of the Most
S2: High God.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president
S1: of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Yesterday, Mark
S1: began exploring how our relationships with our earthly father profoundly
S1: shapes our understanding of our Heavenly Father. And for many
S1: listening today, this subject touches on some very tender places
S1: in the heart. Whether you experience abandonment, neglect, or even
S1: abuse from your father figure, or perhaps you never knew
S1: your father at all, these wounds can create significant barriers
S1: to fully experiencing God's love. In today's message, Mark addresses
S1: these father wounds by showing how healing in this area
S1: is essential for embracing who God has called you to be,
S1: and loving others as he's called you to love. If
S1: you missed yesterday's program, you can find it on our
S1: website at Bold Steps or through the Bold Steps app.
S1: Now let's join Mark Jobe as he continues with part
S1: two of The Daughter Factor.
S2: I believe that some of you really need to embrace
S2: who God has called you to be. To be able
S2: to love like God has called you, to love, to
S2: be able to impart to your children if you have them,
S2: or love your husband if you have one or your
S2: kids that you're going to have to deal with this
S2: father wound. The Bible tells us in first John chapter three,
S2: see what great love the father has lavished on us.
S2: That we should be called children of God. And that
S2: is what we are. The reason the world does not
S2: know us is that it did not know him. Some
S2: of you here have a real hard time connecting with
S2: the love of the father, because you've never experienced the genuine,
S2: powerful love of your earthly father. So there's a disconnect
S2: with with the Heavenly father. And there's a void. There's
S2: a vacuum. There's a neutrality there. If you were raised
S2: in a whole family with a loving father that nurtured,
S2: that spoke into your life, no father is perfect, but
S2: that spoke to your worth and spoke to your value,
S2: then you. Unfortunately, it feels like nowadays are the exception.
S2: The Bible tells us in John chapter 832 that we
S2: will know the truth, and the truth shall set us free.
S2: When the Bible says, the love of the father, and
S2: you have a disconnect with the love of the father.
S2: It means that although you may hear the words God
S2: loves you, it rings void a bit. When there's a
S2: father vacuum in our life. It means oftentimes I've seen
S2: it go into several extremes. When there's a father vacuum.
S2: For some of you, it meant that you so desired
S2: the approval of a man that you didn't get from
S2: your father, that you threw out all your standards, and
S2: you became obsessed with having a man see your value.
S2: And you would throw yourself into relationships that were toxic
S2: and broken and unhealthy. Why? Because a man showed attention
S2: to you and it drove you to. I just want
S2: him to affirm me, value me, love me. And people
S2: would say, why do you let him let them treat you,
S2: treat you that way. But so driven. Obsessed. Feeling incomplete
S2: with the man. Like I can't stand alone unless a
S2: man is there beside me. You know what often speaks
S2: to is the father vacuum. Amen. Others of you, because
S2: of the father vacuum and the hurt that's there, created
S2: barriers around yourself, holding people at a distance. No other
S2: man is ever going to hurt me like I was hurt.
S2: And so you're tough. Exteriorly hold people at a distance
S2: because you say I'll never be hurt again. Others, when
S2: you come into the church and you hear the term
S2: father and you sing about the father love of God,
S2: it's hard for you to look up into the heavens
S2: and with the radiance in your face, because you want
S2: to look down at your feet and what comes to
S2: your mind is you again, why aren't you? And you
S2: come into a place like this and it feels like
S2: God is just scanning your sins and pointing them out
S2: one by one, and you feel shame and guilt and
S2: condemnation and not this incredible, powerful love of the father.
S2: That's called the father wound. You know what happens in
S2: our life. And we talked about it in the first one.
S2: And can I just say this about fathers before I
S2: go on? Some of you had fathers that just had
S2: never received, and so they had difficulty giving. I was
S2: at a men's encounter retreat like this. And men deal
S2: with their issues. We challenge them about loving their sons
S2: and daughters and what it means to, in a different way,
S2: what it means to love their wives in a in
S2: a way that some of them have never known. And
S2: we have them take bold steps at the end. And
S2: I'll never forget one father standing up, as we talked
S2: about how much the power and love of a father counts,
S2: and how it's important, how his daughters are shaped by
S2: their relationship with the father and sons and identity. And
S2: I'll never forget one father getting up, weeping, weeping, weeping uncontrollably.
S2: And he was about to share his bold step. So
S2: what's your bold step? And with the crackling voice and
S2: tears streaming down his face, he said, I have three daughters.
S2: Under the teenage years. He said they've never heard me
S2: say I love them. I've never in their life said,
S2: I love you. He said. I do love them, he said,
S2: but I was never told by my father. It was
S2: like weakness. It was you don't talk about that. And
S2: he said, my bold step crying, weeping. He said, that
S2: is to go home and to gather my three little daughters,
S2: look them in the eyes, and for the first time
S2: in their life they're going to hear their father say,
S2: I love you. It reminded me that this man. Had
S2: a father vacuum as well. And it's hard to give
S2: what we don't have. We talked about how strongholds are
S2: built in our life. And oftentimes what happens with these
S2: strongholds is that, well, our life is kind of like this.
S2: We're a blank page. And here's what happens to many
S2: of our lives as we grow, as we begin to develop.
S2: God has established households with a mother or father that
S2: love us and speak into our lives to protect us.
S2: But what happens in many of our lives is that
S2: that protection that God has placed over us. Gets punctured. Abandonment. Divorce. Abuse.
S2: Critical spirit. Addictions. And what happens in our life is
S2: that the seeds of lies start being now. Seeds of
S2: lies can be easily planted in your life. You're not
S2: worth anything. You'll never count. There's something wrong with you.
S2: And those lies get planted in us. And those lies then. Well,
S2: those lies start to well. Stuff starts to grow. Stuff
S2: starts to grow. And let me tell you what happens
S2: is that. That those lies grow up and they get
S2: entangled around the core of our being. They affect our personality,
S2: how we talk, how we walk, who we hang with,
S2: who we date, how we marry, how we raise our kids.
S2: Because they've entwined themselves in our being. Lies have become.
S2: And for many of us, it's hard to distinguish what
S2: is truly me and what is the lie that I'm
S2: that I've grown up with. If you've ever been abused
S2: at a young age, sexually, verbally, physically there are lies,
S2: especially by someone that was supposed to protect you. There
S2: lies that were deeply embedded in your being, deeply ingrained
S2: in your soul. You've grown up with them, and most
S2: women that I talk to have really never dealt with
S2: those issues. And you wake up one day and you
S2: realize what's wrong with me. Well, nothing's wrong with you.
S2: What's wrong with you is that you have allowed lies
S2: to inhibit some of your personality. You've lied. You've allowed
S2: lies to. So be entangled and enwrapped in who you are.
S2: That they do not let you function like the woman
S2: of God that he's called you to be. And here's
S2: what the Bible says. The Bible says you shall know
S2: the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark will
S1: be back to continue today's message in a minute. Let
S1: me remind you, though, that you can find all of
S1: these daily lessons, along with other faith building tools and
S1: resources on our website. Bold steps org. In fact, there's
S1: one resource that thousands of listeners are enjoying every week
S1: that you can get for free. And that's Mark's weekly
S1: email devotional called The Bold Stepper Weekly. Those who have
S1: subscribed Mark got it this past Monday morning.
S2: Absolutely nice and early, and we like to say this
S2: is a great way to kickstart your week.
S3: And there's devotional thoughts. Ministry updates this past bold step
S3: where we talked about the fact that this is a
S3: season where many, many young people, high schoolers and college
S3: age are coming to Christ, and often our culture has
S3: dismissed them as cynical or lazy Z or confused, but
S3: I believe there's a lot of hope in this generation
S3: as I see them responding to God and awakening to God.
S3: And so I think you'll be encouraged, especially if you
S3: have a heart for this generation to listen or to
S3: read this past week's Bold stepper.
S1: Yeah. And you can receive this free of charge. And
S1: by the way, you have an interesting front row seat
S1: to what's going on with this generation. Mark, so glad
S1: you talked about that. But you can receive The Bold
S1: Stepper Weekly today by signing up at Bold Steps. Org.
S1: Look for the devotional tab and then sign up for
S1: the Bold Stepper weekly. All right, back to our message,
S1: now titled The Daughter Factor. Once again, here's Mark Jobe.
S2: And so it's this the truth of the Word of
S2: God that starts ripping away the lives, tearing away the
S2: lies that have entangled our view of ourselves, our view
S2: of God, our view of others. you see. Romans chapter 12,
S2: verse two says, but be transformed by the renewing of
S2: your mind. Ladies, I believe in the power of prayer.
S2: I believe that God changes things through prayer. But, but,
S2: but listen to me. There are certain things that are
S2: only going to be changed through the renewing of your mind.
S2: There's not a magical prayer that's going to heal you.
S2: God can set you free from unforgiveness, but your mind
S2: takes time to be renewed. Do you understand the difference
S2: that you can be set free to go in renewal,
S2: but it's a process to turn those wrong thinking into
S2: right thinking, to start to embrace that God truly does
S2: love you. To start to embrace that there is no
S2: condemnation to those that are in Christ Jesus, but that
S2: you are. You are free from guilt or condemnation. There's
S2: it takes time to start to realize that there is
S2: a powerful love that you've never maybe experienced before that
S2: is healing and transformational, and that when you're filled with it,
S2: you can give it to others as well. It takes
S2: time to embrace the truth of the Word of God.
S2: Many women are unable to give love and affection because
S2: they struggle in receiving it from their heavenly father. So
S2: this is a fill in the blank, by the way, women,
S2: unable to experience the love of the father tend to
S2: struggle with a few things. Lack of inner joy. You say, well,
S2: pastor Mark, I'm a believer, but I seem like I
S2: don't have a lot of joy. Because when you're doing
S2: things out of guilt or out of obligation, and not
S2: out of the sense of connection and community and relationship
S2: with the father, then it becomes drudgery. It becomes, I
S2: have to measure up. I go to church not because
S2: I want to be in the presence of the father,
S2: but because I feel like, well, that's what I'm supposed
S2: to do, and maybe God will punish me if I don't.
S2: And so it's a guilt driven, feel empowered, not love driven,
S2: grace and powered relationship with our father. Insecurity in relationships
S2: when you don't know who you are. Here's the thing
S2: about the mother, the the father daughter factor, and the
S2: mother daughter factor. I believe that they both leave vacuums
S2: in our life, but I believe that a father helps
S2: instill identity and oftentimes a sense of value and worth.
S2: Mothers who are more nurturing when there's a lack of
S2: a mother's presence, it tends to instill insecurity and a
S2: sense of not belonging. Both are equally damaging, and some
S2: of you struggle with either one of those. Uh, mother
S2: vacuum or a father vacuum. But I think they show
S2: up in different ways. When you struggle with the love
S2: of the father, there's a tendency to feel inadequate. Like
S2: there's something wrong with me. Why? There's some of you
S2: that your father walked out on you when you were
S2: five years old. And no matter what you tell a
S2: five year old, part of their thinking is, why did
S2: he leave me? There's something probably wrong with me. There's
S2: something probably inside of me. And your mother may have
S2: told you. Baby. It has nothing to do with your
S2: dad loves you. It's between mom and dad. No matter
S2: what you tell a five year old. In their mind,
S2: they say he left me. He's not around. And maybe
S2: he started in another family. So what is wrong with me?
S2: There's something really powerful, though, with the presence of a
S2: man or a father that speaks into the heart of
S2: a daughter and says to her, hey, because the father
S2: is the first. Person a little girl ever loves. In fact,
S2: up to a certain age, when you ask the little girl,
S2: so who are you going to marry? Little girl, say
S2: my daddy. It's the first love of their life. They're
S2: learning how they should be treated by a man, by
S2: how their father treats them. Listen, some of you have
S2: gone to abusive relationships because you learn from your father
S2: that it was okay. You saw it in your household
S2: with your mother, and you grew up expecting. That's how
S2: a woman should be treated. And you didn't understand? No, no,
S2: that's not how a woman should be treated. If you
S2: grew up in a household where you were taught respect
S2: and and hey, you don't talk to a woman that way.
S2: You don't. You raise your hand when you were taught
S2: that you have dignity and value, then you know what?
S2: When you see toxicity, when you see abuse, when you
S2: see someone treat, you walk away from it. Because I'm
S2: not going to I'm not going to allow you to
S2: treat me that way because you've been taught there's a standard.
S2: That's not how you treat a woman. And so you're
S2: able to walk away from broken, toxic, abusive relationships because
S2: you have been taught a standard of what that's like.
S2: The greatest protection for daughters to not be in abusive
S2: relationships and to be able to stand up for it,
S2: is a loving father that speaks dignity, value and worth
S2: into the heart of their daughters. I used to tell
S2: my daughter when I dropped her off in high school. She.
S2: Pretty girl, pretty cheerleader, pretty girl. Everybody was talking. Hey,
S2: your daughter's so cute. She's so pretty. And I and
S2: she was. And she is. But I would always tell her,
S2: I said, you know. Hey, Marissa, look at me. She says,
S2: I know, I know, I'm more than a pretty face.
S2: Because I would tell her that you're more than a
S2: pretty face. You got intelligent, you got a personality, you
S2: got brains. You got there's much more than just a
S2: pretty face. You're much more than that. At. And I
S2: believe that when we do not fully grasp when we
S2: have a father vacuum, there's a tendency to feel inadequate,
S2: inability to express love to others freely and unexplained feelings.
S2: Here you go of rejection. Unexplained. Why do I feel
S2: when I walk into a room like the first thing
S2: that comes to my mind? Do people like me? Do
S2: I fit in? Am I dressed right? Do I talk right?
S2: Are people going to look? Some of you coming to
S2: this conference that's been your biggest issue. You walk in
S2: a room like this and you think, am I dressed right?
S2: Do people like me? Am I going to say the
S2: right words? Do I fit in? When you're secure in
S2: who you are, you're not asking those questions as much.
S2: You're able to say, this is who I am, and
S2: I know who I am, and I love who I am.
S2: This is the way God made me. And it's not
S2: about what do people think about me? Because you've already
S2: been established in your worth and your value that's been
S2: given to you by your earthly father and by your
S2: heavenly father who's spoken into your life, that you are
S2: a daughter of the Most High God. Ephesians chapter three.
S2: The Apostle Paul is telling to believers, and he he's
S2: talking to people that are struggling with understanding who they
S2: are in God. And he says, and I pray that you,
S2: being rooted and established in love may have the power.
S2: The Greek word is dunamis, which where we get the
S2: word dynamite from. That's explosive power together with all the
S2: believers to grasp how wide, how long, how high, how
S2: deep is the love of Christ? And to know this
S2: love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to
S2: the fullness of the measure of God. You know what
S2: he's saying? He's saying, I want you to experience not
S2: just head knowledge about the love of God. I wanted
S2: to so saturate you that you can't explain it, but
S2: you know you're walking in it.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, the middle
S1: of a lesson titled The Daughter Factor. If you've missed
S1: any part of this message so far, let me invite
S1: you to catch up right now when you visit. Bold steps.org.
S1: As a listener supported ministry, Bold Steps relies on the
S1: voluntary donations of friends like you who share our vision.
S1: And right now, you can give a one time gift
S1: or sign up to become a bold partner. When you
S1: commit to giving a monthly donation of any amount for
S1: either opportunity. Just click the donate button at our website
S1: at Bold Steps. Or call us at 800. That's (800) 356-6639. Well, Mark,
S1: we are very excited about our bold step gift. This
S1: month is called Lies Girls Believe and the truth that
S1: Sets them Free. Now the author, Dannah Gresh is with us.
S1: And Dana, I want to commend you because not only
S1: is this book so full of wisdom, biblical wisdom and insight,
S1: but you've organized it in such a fun way. I
S1: would imagine young girls look at this and think, I
S1: want to pick this up and read this.
S4: I hope so, you thrill my heart saying that. That makes.
S4: Thank you. Because years ago I was a cheerleader in
S4: a Christian high school, and my cheerleading coach did a
S4: Devo with me on the Bible verse. I don't know
S4: the reference, but it says whatever your hand finds to do,
S4: do it with all your might. And if you're listening
S4: and you've done demos with teenagers listens, they stick with
S4: you for years, for decades. That that Devo has stuck
S4: with me and I've always wanted to do anything I do.
S4: I wanted to give Jesus my best. So when we
S4: wrote lies, Girls Believe, I went to the bookstore, the
S4: secular bookstore, and I looked at the bookshelves and I said,
S4: what are the best books here that are being sold
S4: to these tween girls? And I picked up books with cartoons,
S4: and I picked up books with graphics and art and
S4: just thrilling, fun books. And I was like, lies girls
S4: believe is gonna look like that. And I think it does.
S4: I really think it does. I think it's absolutely beautiful.
S4: So thank you for saying that. I think it matters
S4: and it draws them through the content. It keeps them
S4: engaged in the content and it makes it a really
S4: fun experience for them.
S1: Well, it's so creative the way that you've done it here, Mark.
S1: I just think it's it's going to really have hit
S1: the mark with these young girls.
S3: Absolutely. I'm holding a copy in my hand scrolling through
S3: the pages. And there is great compelling artwork, creative, colorful, uh,
S3: design specifically for 8 to 12 year olds. But more
S3: important even than the art. Is the message so important.
S3: So if you're a mother that's struggling with how to
S3: reach the heart of your 8 to 12 year old,
S3: or how to help them navigate some of the peer
S3: pressure that they're experiencing at school, or if they're asking
S3: spiritual questions or asking questions about sex, identity, who they are.
S3: This is not a topic or time that you can ignore.
S3: You need to jump in that and disciple your daughters.
S3: So this tool is specifically designed for that. Thank you Dana.
S4: My pleasure. Thank you so much.
S1: To request your copy of Lies Girls Believe, just give
S1: a gift of any amount to support bold steps by
S1: going online to Bold Steps. Org or call us today
S1: at 800 Moody. You can even send your check in
S1: the mail. Just address your envelope to bold steps. 820
S1: North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 60,006 ten again. 820 North LaSalle, Chicago,
S1: Illinois 606 ten. And quickly, before we close, I want
S1: to invite you to download our Bold Steps app, available
S1: in your app store. We have a variety of inspiring
S1: videos and insightful teaching series available for you, so make
S1: sure to download the Bold Steps app and check it
S1: out today. And don't miss the Bold Steps Weekend program
S1: this Saturday and Sunday. Get ready for more inspirational teaching
S1: from Mark that will keep you energized and encouraged all
S1: weekend long. It's a perfect way to stay focused on
S1: God and fill your weekend with powerful insights. Tune in
S1: and let Mark's messages carry you through to the week ahead. Well,
S1: that's all our time for today. I'm Wayne Shepherd and
S1: we will see you next week with the conclusion of
S1: Mark's message. The Daughter Factor that will be coming up
S1: Monday right here on Bold Steps with Mark John. Bold
S1: steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of
S1: Moody Bible Institute.