1 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,760 S1: Welcome to our Tuesday edition of Chris Fabry Live! The 2 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,760 S1: program from the heart to the heart for the heart. 3 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,120 S1: Especially today, because I am going to take you to 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,760 S1: a place of my own heart. This program has taken 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,600 S1: me more than 60 years to come up with this 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,040 S1: topic today, and I need your help because I feel 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,240 S1: bad about feeling bad. But it's where I am. And 8 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,640 S1: my guess is there's somebody who's listening, who has been 9 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,600 S1: to this place where I am now, living this sojourn 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,280 S1: in the valley. So come on along with me in 11 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,040 S1: this journey, and let's see if this is the day 12 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,599 S1: I get you to pick up the phone and call 13 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,680 S1: me first. A thank you to our team. Ryan McConaughey 14 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,080 S1: doing all things technical. Trish is our producer. Lisa's helping out. 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,960 S1: Josh will be answering your calls. And thank you to 16 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,320 S1: our friends and partners who have given this month, just 17 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,240 S1: in the last few days, Andre and Chicago. Thank you, 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,400 S1: Elizabeth and Ohio. Thank you, Jeanette and in Mississippi and 19 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,320 S1: Martha in Maryland. Those are a few of the people 20 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,360 S1: who have given a gift to Chris Fabry live to 21 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,959 S1: keep these conversations going. Hey, how about someone from Indiana 22 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,720 S1: today giving a gift in honor of that football team 23 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,200 S1: that won a national championship last night? Congratulations. Here's how 24 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:23,680 S1: to reach us. Go to Chris Fabry lives or call 86695. Fabry, 25 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,360 S1: a friend, gives a one time gift. Those are much appreciated. 26 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,760 S1: But back fence partners are special group. They give a 27 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,520 S1: gift each month and we are looking for five partners 28 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,240 S1: in January. Maybe you can join that group. Get my 29 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,120 S1: back fence post every Thursday, a video we send out 30 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,560 S1: and some other gifts that we will send your way. 31 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,120 S1: Find out more about becoming a partner at the website 32 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:49,919 S1: Chris Fabry, Chris Fabry or give a one time gift. 33 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,280 S1: Our thank you is Doctor Michael Rudnick's excellent and timely 34 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,040 S1: little book, how should Christians Think about Israel? The number 35 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:04,200 S1: again (866) 953-2279 or go to the website Chris Fabbri, Livorno 36 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,680 S1: and thank you for your support of the radio backyard fence. 37 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,000 S1: We used to do these types of programs more often. 38 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,400 S1: A few years ago, I asked you to tell me 39 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,399 S1: why it was so hard to see the news that 40 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,560 S1: the junior high and the high school where I attended 41 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,200 S1: was torn down. Why is that? Why does that do 42 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,040 S1: something inside? We did a whole program on that, and 43 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,799 S1: I also did a program on the hickory nut tree 44 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,200 S1: in our front yard that blew down and was taken away. 45 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,520 S1: And why that felt like a death to me. If 46 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,720 S1: you go to our Facebook page, you'll see a picture 47 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,120 S1: of that hickory tree. My my mother is standing beside 48 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,040 S1: of it. Why did that? Why did losing that hickory 49 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,440 S1: nut tree hit so hard and you were good enough 50 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:49,600 S1: to respond? Those examples pale in comparison to the season 51 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,680 S1: I'm in right now, though there were echoes in those 52 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,880 S1: programs of what I'm feeling today. And to be honest, 53 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,880 S1: I feel bad that I feel bad. There's an internal 54 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,919 S1: conflict going on and I'm going to try to explain it. 55 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,000 S1: I was born in the hills of West Virginia. All 56 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,000 S1: my memories gather round her, as the songwriter said. I 57 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,119 S1: grew up on a farm that my father purchased. He 58 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,359 S1: built the house we lived in. He cultivated the land. 59 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,920 S1: He planted the corn and the potatoes and the beans 60 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:25,320 S1: and the strawberries. He fought the groundhogs. I could still see. Remember, 61 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,840 S1: he had a loaded 22. I don't suggest this. He 62 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,760 S1: had a loaded 22 in the back bedroom, and that 63 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,840 S1: looked out at the barn. And when he would see 64 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,840 S1: the groundhog going from the barn over to the strawberry patch, 65 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,320 S1: he would. He would take a few shots there. He 66 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,240 S1: raised beef cattle, so there was hay to bale and 67 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,520 S1: bring into the barn. There were ponds to fish. And 68 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,080 S1: the hill, the hill behind the house was a gateway 69 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,720 S1: to adventure with a view of the little town and 70 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,800 S1: the valley. My brothers built a block house on top 71 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,280 S1: of that hill, and had model rockets, and launched them 72 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,600 S1: into the wild blue from up there in the fall, 73 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,240 S1: the colors exploded. In the winter everything died and was 74 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:17,080 S1: covered in snow. Spring was green. Summer was humid, filled 75 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,200 S1: with the sound of baseball games being played far away. 76 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:25,239 S1: That land formed me like in the song the House 77 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,760 S1: that built me. That land, that rich, loamy soil was 78 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,080 S1: where I planted and grew like a like a weed. 79 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,120 S1: The creek with the minnows and the yellow jackets by 80 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,960 S1: the eaves of the house. And old Shep, who was 81 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:44,160 S1: a constant in my childhood. And there was a feeling 82 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,880 S1: that land that we were on, it was about 80 83 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,760 S1: acres or so that surrounded us. That land was worth 84 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,599 S1: far more than we imagined it was good Earth, and 85 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,040 S1: my dad believed if you had land, you had life. 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,160 S1: You could raise a crop. You could provide for your family. 87 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,839 S1: I keep seeing a biblical phrase, especially in the Psalms, 88 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:11,600 S1: inherit the land, and today that has a sting to it. 89 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:18,440 S1: 43 years ago, I moved from that spot on the globe, 90 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,760 S1: and my wife and I made our home in Chicago 91 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,279 S1: and then Colorado and now Arizona. So I have been 92 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:29,000 S1: removed from the land for decades. But I can close 93 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,920 S1: my eyes and be right back there. In fact, the 94 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,120 S1: stories I write are mostly set there because that place 95 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,120 S1: is where my heart grew. My heart broke the first 96 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:44,279 S1: time my heart developed. I don't care how far away 97 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,600 S1: I am, I'm still there. It's part of me. I 98 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,119 S1: have two brothers, one in Alabama, one still in West Virginia, 99 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:56,240 S1: about a half hour away from the farm. In 2011, 100 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,240 S1: her father died, but her mother remained in the house 101 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,039 S1: that my father built on the land. My father worked, 102 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,440 S1: and four years ago, my mother agreed to move into 103 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,080 S1: an assisted living situation. We've talked about that here, how 104 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,440 S1: much she resisted, she dug her heels in, would not 105 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,400 S1: listen to our entreaties. And then after she moved, she 106 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,000 S1: said it was the best decision she ever made. Six 107 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,839 S1: months later, she died. So it's been three and a 108 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:29,160 S1: half years that we've known. We can't hold on to this. 109 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,159 S1: We need to let it go. We need to sell 110 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,800 S1: the farm. Let me explain that. I think this clip 111 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,960 S1: from a program a few years ago explains it best. 112 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,560 S1: Greg Wheatley, my audio compadre, was with me, and we 113 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:48,280 S1: were talking about the power of music, and he said, 114 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,400 S1: I want to play a piece for you. Just the 115 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,560 S1: introduction and he was only 15 seconds. And he said, 116 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,560 S1: I don't want you to hear the lyrics. I just 117 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,440 S1: want you to hear this and respond to it. And 118 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,440 S1: he did that to emphasize the power of music. And 119 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,800 S1: every time I, I hear this, I think about that farm. 120 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,239 S1: So listen to what I heard and how I responded 121 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:26,480 S1: to this music. I'm weeping already. All right. I mean, yeah, man. Um, 122 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:31,960 S1: I see a pasture with actually, I see my home 123 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,880 S1: where I grew up, and I see a pasture, and 124 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,600 S1: I see birds singing in the trees. 125 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:41,440 S2: Unbelievable. Can we play? Can we play track five? 126 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:50,640 S3: I am dreaming of the mountains of my home. Of 127 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:58,800 S3: the mountains. Where in childhood I would roam. I have 128 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:08,000 S3: dwelt Neath southern skies. Where the salmon never dies. But 129 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:13,040 S3: my heart is in the mountains of my home. 130 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:16,720 S2: I think you nailed it. 131 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,440 S1: Now we we. He did not play. 132 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,239 S2: Was not rehearsed. 133 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,880 S1: He did not tell me to say that when that 134 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,080 S1: came on. There is. And I saw it on my 135 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,120 S1: cell phone because when I was back there in October, 136 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,520 S1: I took a picture of my cell phone, and there's 137 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,600 S1: a spot on the top of the mountain where my 138 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,280 S1: brothers used to shoot off these Estes rockets and the 139 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,679 S1: the wood circles around this so that it almost looks 140 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,959 S1: like a body that's lying on its side. And the 141 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,120 S1: shoulder and the arm, uh, down to the elbow. This 142 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,960 S1: is how the land lays out with all of this. 143 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,280 S1: The tree line all the way around it, pine trees 144 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,679 S1: on top and then deciduous trees all, all around there. 145 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,520 S1: And and when I heard that, that's what flashed into 146 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,880 S1: my head. I'm not lying to you. 147 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,720 S2: Yeah. You couldn't have been a better subject. That was. 148 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,520 S1: Again. That's it. That's what sprung to my heart. And 149 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,040 S1: it's because it's because of where I was born and 150 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:19,040 S1: where I was planted. Uh, think of. I didn't say this, 151 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:23,120 S1: but it looks like an older man's bald spot. You know, 152 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,640 S1: that's how the top of the mountain looks. Or the 153 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,480 S1: top of the hill. So last week, my brothers and 154 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:34,040 S1: I signed the documents, the deed, the ownership, the land. 155 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,880 S1: We don't own it anymore. And that was a welcomed 156 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,640 S1: event because it has been hard to see, especially one 157 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,880 S1: of my brothers have to take responsibility for the upkeep 158 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,640 S1: and making decisions about it. Some of you mentioned this 159 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,000 S1: on Facebook about, you know, how people can can do 160 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,640 S1: things if there's nobody there. So there was a sense 161 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,760 S1: of relief that came, that there was someone who was 162 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:05,079 S1: willing to buy the property. But I wasn't prepared for 163 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,559 S1: my response. I knew it was going to be hard, 164 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,520 S1: but I didn't realize the depth of feeling all of 165 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,200 S1: that stirred. So here's what I want you to do 166 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,200 S1: for me today. Can you help me with that? Has 167 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,080 S1: anybody listening right now? Have you been through what I 168 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:26,480 S1: just have described? Do you understand the process that I 169 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,320 S1: have gone through? Do you have words of encouragement? Words 170 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,840 S1: of explanation? Some people on Facebook said you don't feel bad, Chris. 171 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,679 S1: You don't have to feel bad about feeling bad. This is, 172 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,880 S1: you know, there's there's emotion here. I want you to 173 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:49,280 S1: help explain that to me today. Here's our number (877) 548-3675. 174 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,200 S1: You can answer on Facebook, but I would love to 175 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,760 S1: hear your voice today. Selling the farm and what it 176 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:05,160 S1: did inside. (877) 548-3675. That's my topic today at the radio 177 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,240 S1: backyard fence. 178 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,959 S4: This is Chris Fabry. 179 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,280 S1: Live on Moody Radio. Thanks a lot for joining us 180 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:26,760 S1: at the Radio Backyard Fence. Very personal topic here today 181 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,000 S1: because I didn't want to feel bad. I didn't want 182 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,679 S1: to feel anything about this. I just wanted to move 183 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:37,040 S1: on with my life, and I, I can't. Yeah, we 184 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,880 S1: sold the farm. We sold the property. We sold the 185 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,360 S1: place where I was, where I grew up. And I'm 186 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,320 S1: having a hard time with it. And I want to 187 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,400 S1: know why. Why? You know, it's just land. I could 188 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,079 S1: go back there. The people who have bought it have said. 189 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,920 S1: They said to my brother, anytime you guys want to 190 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,280 S1: come back and walk around and do whatever and see 191 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,440 S1: what we've done, you know, come on back. But it's 192 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:10,840 S1: not the same. And I. And I wonder why. (877) 548-3675. 193 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,880 S1: In the great state of Tennessee. I reached out to 194 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,880 S1: Bill before the program and said, Bill, would you come 195 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,600 S1: on here and be the first person? Because Bill has 196 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,439 S1: kind of helped me process this a little bit, uh, 197 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,680 S1: through email. So sign in here. Bill, what do you 198 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,560 S1: what do you think? 199 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,319 S5: Well, first, I'm offended that you referred to your hill 200 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,640 S5: as an old man with a bald spot, because that 201 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,760 S5: is me. So I'm still trying to get over that. 202 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,640 S5: But I certainly have experienced what you have, and even 203 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,320 S5: more so because my my experience was almost disastrous. Had 204 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,640 S5: a family farm, had been in my family for generations, 205 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,920 S5: we were dairy farmers. I was raised on that farm. 206 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,640 S5: Everything I knew was that farm, by the way. Side 207 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,520 S5: note my oldest brother passed away just two months ago, and, um, 208 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,920 S5: I preached at his funeral and it really hit me 209 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,000 S5: harder than most. But what I realized was he was 210 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 S5: the last of all those people I grew up with. 211 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,840 S5: Parents are gone. My brothers are gone. So I'm like 212 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,200 S5: the only one left. And it provided a whole new 213 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,439 S5: sense of grief I had not really known before. And 214 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,280 S5: much of that really was tied to that farm. But 215 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,600 S5: my experience was not just the land and all the 216 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,559 S5: the experiences that I had there, but we had disaster 217 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,920 S5: with the way my dad passed the land onto my 218 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:34,040 S5: my brothers and myself. Nobody knew the problems that we 219 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,400 S5: would have, and they were just a myriad of situations. 220 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,240 S5: And I remember I didn't realize at the time I 221 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,040 S5: was being funny, but now I'm like, man, I wish 222 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,320 S5: that had been more serious. But when my dad was 223 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,800 S5: on his deathbed, we were talking about the farm. We're 224 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,760 S5: actually laughing about the hard work that he made us 225 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,120 S5: do all those years. And then I made the comment. 226 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,480 S5: I said, hey, by the way, because I live in 227 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,800 S5: Chicago at the time. And I said, uh, hey, do 228 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,720 S5: you have any cash anywhere? Because I could easily, uh, 229 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,640 S5: go that route because I wasn't ever going to live 230 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,280 S5: on the farm again. I wasn't going to, you know, 231 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,920 S5: I was certainly never going to Dairy Farm again. So 232 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,360 S5: there was that thought it was a working farm. Even 233 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,120 S5: when he passed, uh, our cousins were working it. And 234 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,760 S5: so there was just a lot of issues that we 235 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,440 S5: never realized would come up, uh, that, uh, that came 236 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,800 S5: with that. And the funny thing is, I used to 237 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,920 S5: pastor and I walked through this with many of my parishioners, 238 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,200 S5: and occasionally it would get ugly. And, you know, the 239 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,720 S5: sad thing is, is almost always it's around the death 240 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,880 S5: of someone everybody loves so much. And then it would 241 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,640 S5: turn so sour. And we had a few that ended 242 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,800 S5: up like the Corinthians going to court over this stuff. 243 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,840 S5: But it's. But I remember saying to my wife, I 244 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,880 S5: would go home and I would say, hey, thank God 245 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,480 S5: that your family and mine. This will never happen. Wrong. 246 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,560 S5: It happened to both our families. Her situation was just bad. 247 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,600 S5: Mine was disastrous. Uh, it caused broken relationships. Not among 248 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:06,600 S5: my brothers, strangely enough. Uh, my cousins. I didn't know 249 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,520 S5: until after my dad passed. They were had been upset 250 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,960 S5: since before I was born that they didn't get some 251 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,000 S5: of that land to begin with from our grandfather. So 252 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,160 S5: there were there were surprising things that came up that 253 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,200 S5: that just represented a lot of hurt. Uh, and so 254 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,160 S5: it was just so I would advise anybody and here's 255 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,280 S5: the one thing I would want to say to anybody listening. Uh, 256 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,240 S5: my wife and I are not rich by any stretch. 257 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,680 S5: We've got a few assets. But here is my advice. 258 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:38,160 S5: Before you are gone from this earth, make sure you 259 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:42,000 S5: move everything you can into cash. And obviously my wife 260 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,520 S5: and I live in a house and so we're not 261 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,720 S5: going to sell that. But we have put everything in 262 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,920 S5: a trust and spelled out in detail, you know, keep 263 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,240 S5: it out from all the Uncle Joe's you've never heard 264 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,280 S5: of from coming in trying to grab stuff, but that 265 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,120 S5: protects you in so many ways. But also you set 266 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,520 S5: up and even the home we're living in now. We 267 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,880 S5: have three kids. If any of the three kids said, hey, 268 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,360 S5: I think I want to live in that house when 269 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,160 S5: you're gone, here's the way what happened? Because we had 270 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,240 S5: this in the trust first. Whoever is gone last, whether 271 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,600 S5: it be my wife or myself, the instructions are before 272 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,960 S5: the dirt is on the casket, put a for sale 273 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,800 S5: sign in the yard and you can do that with 274 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,440 S5: a trust. Otherwise you really can't do it quickly. Sell 275 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:28,320 S5: everything that, uh, that that is there and then split 276 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:33,000 S5: it three ways. If somebody wants the house or some other, uh, asset, 277 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,480 S5: that's fine. You be the highest bidder when it itself, 278 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,840 S5: because a lot of pain comes when you know you 279 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:44,440 S5: want to get a piece of the emotional asset and 280 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,080 S5: you think your other siblings or other family are going 281 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,000 S5: to be all in on that, cutting them out, and 282 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,880 S5: that's going to cause hurt and pain. And really, if 283 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,600 S5: you want it, if it is an emotional thing for you, 284 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,280 S5: then be the highest bidder and your siblings will love it. 285 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,320 S5: They will they will come out, fight. Everybody will win 286 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,640 S5: in that situation. So please, as much as you can 287 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,160 S5: and cash and then the rest of it you just 288 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,040 S5: can't sell or whatever. Make sure it's in a trust. 289 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,040 S5: Clearly spells out you know what is to be what 290 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,120 S5: is to be done with that. You know, my dad 291 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,560 S5: loved us, but I know. And when I get to heaven, 292 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,800 S5: I'm going to joke with him again. I'm going to say, well, 293 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,640 S5: you really messed that one up, dad. You let us 294 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,680 S5: so great until until this happens. So there's some there's 295 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,280 S5: tax issues. There's legal issues. There's so much stuff that 296 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,800 S5: can happen. And you know what? I love the farm 297 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,520 S5: so much. And the land and it just, you know, 298 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,320 S5: every time I look back on it now or we 299 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:42,040 S5: travel there, there's always a little bit of pain and 300 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,080 S5: it's just it's really, really too bad and unnecessary. So 301 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,360 S5: I could go on and on. I don't know if it's. 302 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,359 S1: Because of the the trickle down dysfunction that you're talking 303 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,480 S1: about that was there the thing that I and thank 304 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,360 S1: you for that practicality. Somebody need to hear that today. 305 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,600 S1: The the thing that I identify most with on that 306 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,040 S1: is I felt like an orphan when my father died. 307 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,280 S1: You know, it was like, I don't have a dad, 308 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,000 S1: but I still have a mom. When my mom died, 309 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,080 S1: it's like I'm an orphan now, and I'm, you know, 310 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:17,720 S1: I'm older. But when the the land was sold, there 311 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,119 S1: was such a, an attachment to that that I didn't 312 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,879 S1: realize that I felt like an orphan all over again. 313 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,280 S1: Just with the land. Does that make any sense to you? 314 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:33,280 S5: It does, it does, it does. And I certainly had 315 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,320 S5: had that. I mean, I grew up on that land, 316 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,120 S5: you know, and you probably know this when you live 317 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,840 S5: in a rural area, you don't have friends everywhere. And 318 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,600 S5: so most of the time I played by myself on 319 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,359 S5: that land when I was a kid, you know, I 320 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,800 S5: had all kinds. I used to buy bags of army 321 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,120 S5: guys and I would put them in the clay. Dirt 322 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,760 S5: in Tennessee is all clay. And I would put those 323 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,600 S5: army guys all over the place and shoot them with 324 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,240 S5: BB guns, you know, I mean, I would do that 325 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,320 S5: by myself, you know, for hours. So when I go 326 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,480 S5: to that farm even now, and we sold it finally, 327 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:07,280 S5: but even now I have those memories that were so special, 328 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,080 S5: you know, uh, when you were there. But I have 329 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,359 S5: to say this, too. I mean, when my dad passed, 330 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,320 S5: of course, he was a farmer all the way his 331 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,680 S5: whole entire life. So he had tons of tools and stuff. 332 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,680 S5: We divide those up among ourselves. You come to my 333 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,960 S5: office right now, and I've got a tobacco hatchet like thing. 334 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,960 S5: I used to cut tobacco stalks with my favorite job 335 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,640 S5: on the farm. I was so good at it. Even 336 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,560 S5: farmers would hire me. Well, come to my office and 337 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:35,800 S5: you'll see that That's an emotional attachment in a way 338 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,480 S5: more than the land. 339 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,359 S1: That's what somebody said on Facebook. They said, um, take 340 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,080 S1: a take your favorite picture of the farm or the 341 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,800 S1: house or whatever it is, and have somebody and they 342 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,480 S1: can do that these days. They have somebody paint that or, uh, 343 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,160 S1: use the computer to, to get you an image and 344 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:58,960 S1: then place that someplace where it sparks, you know. And 345 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,320 S1: I thought, that's a really, really good idea. Some of 346 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,280 S1: those keepsakes that you saved. 347 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,240 S5: That is a good idea, Bill. 348 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,399 S1: God bless you, friend. Drive carefully out there and, uh, 349 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,320 S1: come on back and, uh, we'll have another conversation down 350 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,200 S1: the road, okay? 351 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,160 S5: Absolutely. Thank you. 352 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,159 S1: Sarah is on the line from Tampa, Florida. Sarah, why 353 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,240 S1: did you call today? 354 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,480 S6: Hey, Chris. Well, I just felt like I really resonated 355 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,600 S6: with your grief over the place. You know, it's, um. 356 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:34,359 S6: And we. I lost my home in And 2024 because 357 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,440 S6: of Hurricane Helene? 358 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,480 S1: Yes. 359 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,960 S6: And I was just really shocked by the level of 360 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:46,520 S6: sadness and grief, because I'm not a materialistic person, but 361 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,920 S6: 27 years in my home, it still hurts. 362 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,320 S1: And when you now did, did you rebuild or. No. 363 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,320 S6: Um, no. Um, it doesn't make financial sense for us 364 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,560 S6: to rebuild. So, um, for us to move in. So 365 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,360 S6: we're actually going to demolish the house and rebuild it 366 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,960 S6: and sell it as an investment. 367 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,080 S1: So it's just kind of a shell now, right? 368 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:12,240 S6: Yes. Yes. 369 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,040 S1: And that hurts even worse, doesn't it? 370 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,160 S6: Yeah. It's like, um, when we go because we still 371 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,879 S6: have to do some things. There were things in the 372 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,520 S6: attic that didn't get flooded, but it's like I say, 373 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,320 S6: it's like tending a grave because it's just so sad 374 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:26,080 S6: to go there. 375 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,600 S1: Yeah. And did you. You know, I said at the 376 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,080 S1: beginning of the program. I feel bad that I feel 377 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,880 S1: bad because compared with other people's losses and other people's, 378 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,880 S1: you know. But it's like, no, I really can't go. 379 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:44,520 S1: I can't compare my my emotion or the grief that 380 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,720 S1: I'm feeling with somebody else. I just need to be 381 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,320 S1: faithful with my own. And that's what you're saying too, right? 382 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,120 S6: Yeah. And to go through the grief process and, you know, 383 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,720 S6: for me to be able to, like, name those losses 384 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,159 S6: and to just grieve those and know that it is 385 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,320 S6: sad and it's okay to be sad about that. And 386 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,320 S6: I do trust the Lord for our next season, but 387 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,480 S6: it's a big loss. 388 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:14,720 S1: Yeah. What about your home now? Was it did it already? 389 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,240 S1: It was already existing when Helene came through. Right. 390 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,560 S6: Um, we're in, like, a temporary location in an apartment 391 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,600 S6: while everything else being done with our, um, our former home. 392 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:33,359 S1: So. So there's a sense of displacement. You are vagabonds 393 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:34,240 S1: in a sense. 394 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:40,080 S6: Yeah. We had an unusual situation because we actually owned, um, 395 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,520 S6: this apartment unit, and our 30 year old son lived 396 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,760 S6: in it, and there was two bedrooms. And so he 397 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,359 S6: had 24 hours notice that his parents were moving in. 398 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,640 S6: And so he since moved out to a one bedroom. 399 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:58,000 S6: But yeah. So we're in this temporary location until we sell, um, 400 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 S6: our former home. 401 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,680 S1: Sarah, I'm glad you got through today. God bless you, friend. 402 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,960 S1: I've heard this on Facebook. To me, you know, peace 403 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,800 S1: to your heart, friend. And to be able to talk 404 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,240 S1: about it like Bill was saying is a real grace. 405 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,639 S1: I also reached out to doctor Ray Mitch in Colorado 406 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,679 S1: at Colorado Christian University. And you've written a book on grief, 407 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,680 S1: and I'm going to have you back, Ray, and talk 408 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,880 S1: more about, you know, specifically, but respond to the grief 409 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,390 S1: about the land sale. Should I feel bad about feeling 410 00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:31,350 S1: bad about this? 411 00:23:32,230 --> 00:23:32,630 S5: Yeah. 412 00:23:32,990 --> 00:23:35,910 S7: Well, that's got many layers to it, really. I mean, 413 00:23:35,950 --> 00:23:40,510 S7: feeling bad about feeling bad has carries other messages with it, right? 414 00:23:40,550 --> 00:23:45,430 S7: I mean, the, the I shouldn't feel bad, which is 415 00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:50,070 S7: kind of trying to shoot a target blindfolded because it's 416 00:23:50,070 --> 00:23:54,030 S7: constantly moving. So I think, I think the issue oftentimes 417 00:23:54,030 --> 00:23:59,190 S7: with objects and land and things like that, they're containers 418 00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:02,990 S7: of memory and, and in a lot of cases, memory 419 00:24:02,990 --> 00:24:07,510 S7: of relationships and the relationships themselves carry memories. I mean, 420 00:24:07,869 --> 00:24:11,590 S7: think about when you walk into the house on Thanksgiving 421 00:24:11,590 --> 00:24:16,790 S7: and and interacting with people, your memories show up immediately. Um, 422 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:20,909 S7: whether positive or negative. So I think that the challenge 423 00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:24,750 S7: of grieving is having the freedom to grieve where we are, 424 00:24:24,790 --> 00:24:28,670 S7: like you said the lady before. Um, just accepting us 425 00:24:28,670 --> 00:24:33,109 S7: where we are and allowing our emotions to weep, uh, 426 00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,750 S7: in more ways than one, and then being able to 427 00:24:37,150 --> 00:24:43,270 S7: release that in time. I, I take the perspective of, 428 00:24:43,470 --> 00:24:47,990 S7: rather than stages, because we like things in lines rather than, um, 429 00:24:48,350 --> 00:24:50,470 S7: than anything else, because we want to know where we 430 00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:53,310 S7: are in it. But I, I propose a way of 431 00:24:53,310 --> 00:24:56,510 S7: thinking about it in terms of seasons, because we tend 432 00:24:56,510 --> 00:24:59,590 S7: to go through the season again, you know, and we 433 00:24:59,590 --> 00:25:03,909 S7: always know what's coming next, whether it's winter, spring, summer 434 00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:07,710 S7: or fall. And each one has different characteristics and different 435 00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:10,310 S7: tools that we need to use as we move through 436 00:25:10,310 --> 00:25:13,070 S7: each one of those things. So, you know, even as 437 00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:16,550 S7: you were describing the land and what all the memories 438 00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:20,030 S7: that come with it, that's that's the substance of grief 439 00:25:20,190 --> 00:25:22,950 S7: and loss. And that's really what is so key here, 440 00:25:22,950 --> 00:25:23,470 S7: I think. 441 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:28,470 S1: I agree with you. And something happened to me on 442 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,270 S1: the day that we signed this. And I want to 443 00:25:30,270 --> 00:25:32,949 S1: tell you that that's doctor Ray. Mitch. I'd love to 444 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:36,070 S1: hear from you, friend, if you're resonating with this topic. 445 00:25:36,109 --> 00:25:39,670 S1: Selling the farm, dealing with the grief over that. The 446 00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:50,270 S1: loss of that. 877548367508775483675. 447 00:26:02,550 --> 00:26:03,470 S4: This is Chris Fabry. 448 00:26:03,470 --> 00:26:04,670 S1: Live on Moody Radio. 449 00:26:04,869 --> 00:26:05,470 S4: Go to the website. 450 00:26:05,470 --> 00:26:09,270 S1: You can find out more about the program, how to 451 00:26:09,310 --> 00:26:13,830 S1: support us. And there's a featured resource there by doctor Ray. 452 00:26:13,869 --> 00:26:17,030 S1: Mitch called The Seasons of Our Grief. This book came 453 00:26:17,030 --> 00:26:18,790 S1: out a couple of years ago. I'm going to have 454 00:26:18,790 --> 00:26:22,310 S1: him back. There's there's something about his own story that 455 00:26:22,310 --> 00:26:24,630 S1: we have to go deeper in and not talk about 456 00:26:25,070 --> 00:26:29,270 S1: the land sale that I'm going through. But what he 457 00:26:29,270 --> 00:26:33,230 S1: said about seasons, you'll see that embracing the journey, that's 458 00:26:33,230 --> 00:26:36,350 S1: what I'm trying to do. And I want to tell you, Ray, 459 00:26:36,350 --> 00:26:40,109 S1: about something that happened to me when my on the 460 00:26:40,109 --> 00:26:43,310 S1: day that we signed, two of us signed electronically at 461 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:47,229 S1: a distance, one one of our brothers was there. And 462 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:50,389 S1: when he got home, he called us and he said, 463 00:26:50,430 --> 00:26:54,470 S1: you know, here's here's what happened. And then we started 464 00:26:54,470 --> 00:26:57,350 S1: just off the top of our heads. And I told 465 00:26:57,350 --> 00:27:00,310 S1: this story about my uncle and my dad at a 466 00:27:00,590 --> 00:27:03,389 S1: and a dog and a groundhog. I won't go into 467 00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:09,109 S1: the gory details of that, but my my brother next 468 00:27:09,109 --> 00:27:14,070 S1: to me said, uh, I remember going up and having 469 00:27:14,390 --> 00:27:19,310 S1: our dad was tilling the ground, was was plowing it 470 00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:22,149 S1: and he didn't. It was before he ever had a tractor? 471 00:27:22,470 --> 00:27:25,590 S1: And so there was a horse that was harnessed to 472 00:27:25,630 --> 00:27:29,270 S1: the plow, and my dad would do a couple of rows, 473 00:27:29,270 --> 00:27:32,830 S1: and then our uncle Pooch did a couple of rows, 474 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:35,310 S1: and then my brother Dave said, and they let me 475 00:27:35,350 --> 00:27:40,230 S1: do one. He said it was really, really hard. And 476 00:27:40,270 --> 00:27:43,510 S1: in that moment, it's like what you just said about 477 00:27:43,710 --> 00:27:48,669 S1: it's not just land, there's memories in there, right? 478 00:27:48,790 --> 00:27:53,190 S7: Mhm. Absolutely. I mean, I think um, we carry with 479 00:27:53,190 --> 00:27:58,669 S7: us oftentimes tokens of, of the person or the memory 480 00:27:58,670 --> 00:28:02,750 S7: or I think probably one of the most um, telling 481 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:07,629 S7: things today in the current generation. And for us old folks, 482 00:28:07,670 --> 00:28:09,270 S7: you know, when we're talking, I don't know if I 483 00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:13,189 S7: want to put myself in that category, but, um, is 484 00:28:13,230 --> 00:28:19,350 S7: tattoos and their tattoos always tell a story and it 485 00:28:19,390 --> 00:28:22,909 S7: is the same thing. So, you know, whether it's a 486 00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:26,790 S7: picture on the text box, as you know, there's somebody 487 00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:31,629 S7: that you interacted with and that picture contains within it 488 00:28:31,830 --> 00:28:34,270 S7: all the memories that go with it. And that's exactly 489 00:28:34,270 --> 00:28:36,910 S7: what happened with you and your brothers. It's like the 490 00:28:36,910 --> 00:28:40,990 S7: minute that name or that, uh, land was talked about, 491 00:28:42,030 --> 00:28:46,670 S7: an encyclopedic kind of overload of memories come to us 492 00:28:46,670 --> 00:28:53,750 S7: in terms of. And it's not just thoughts, it's feelings. It's, um, smells. Yes, 493 00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:56,469 S7: it is all sorts of things that come with it. 494 00:28:56,470 --> 00:28:59,390 S1: The sense memory. And especially where I'm from, it's like 495 00:28:59,390 --> 00:29:03,310 S1: lightning bugs. There's fireflies. Yeah. You have those in Arizona. 496 00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:06,350 S1: They didn't travel out here with us, but just the 497 00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:08,830 S1: rising of those fireflies. And I can't tell you how 498 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:12,630 S1: many times I've written a story. And I have said their. 499 00:29:12,670 --> 00:29:16,590 S1: Their prayers rose like fireflies from the ground. You know, 500 00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:22,230 S1: it's just this, this evocative image of dance doctor Ray Mitch. Again, 501 00:29:22,230 --> 00:29:25,070 S1: you can find out more about him at the website. Chris. 502 00:29:25,110 --> 00:29:30,710 S1: Favorite archive.org. The seasons of grief or seasons of our grief. 503 00:29:30,990 --> 00:29:35,270 S1: Embracing the journey. Uh, let me let you talk with Esther. Esther, 504 00:29:35,270 --> 00:29:36,510 S1: why did you call today? 505 00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:40,870 S8: Thank you for taking my call. How are you doing today? 506 00:29:40,910 --> 00:29:43,110 S1: I'm doing great, Esther, cause you called. 507 00:29:43,670 --> 00:29:46,110 S8: Oh, well, thank you so very much. I have an 508 00:29:46,110 --> 00:29:50,670 S8: interesting story to tell you. I was in the process 509 00:29:50,670 --> 00:29:54,950 S8: of selling my home. I lived there for two years, 510 00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:58,790 S8: and I rented it for so many years because I 511 00:29:58,790 --> 00:30:01,830 S8: wanted people, you know, to live in a home. And 512 00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:04,790 S8: it was a it's a beautiful home inside and out. 513 00:30:05,870 --> 00:30:08,229 S8: So I had some problems. I had to take it 514 00:30:08,230 --> 00:30:13,910 S8: off the market for a couple of months, and then 515 00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:16,989 S8: I put it back on the market. So when I 516 00:30:16,990 --> 00:30:20,470 S8: put the house back on the market, there was a 517 00:30:20,510 --> 00:30:25,430 S8: lot of, you know, buyers was interested in it. And 518 00:30:25,430 --> 00:30:27,750 S8: so they were so interested in it. Some of them 519 00:30:27,750 --> 00:30:31,310 S8: gave me a price that I did not accept. So 520 00:30:31,310 --> 00:30:36,150 S8: when I declined a couple of couple of buyers, one 521 00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:42,710 S8: finally came. Okay. Now when this buyer came in September, 522 00:30:43,310 --> 00:30:48,950 S8: we negotiated the price. They wanted me to put in 523 00:30:48,950 --> 00:30:51,950 S8: a furnace as well. A new furnace as well as 524 00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:56,590 S8: a hot water tank. So I agreed to that, but 525 00:30:56,590 --> 00:31:01,870 S8: they wanted me to do that before the buyer wanted 526 00:31:02,430 --> 00:31:05,670 S8: to get the house. And I was like, no way. Okay. 527 00:31:06,350 --> 00:31:12,430 S8: So my agent did not, uh, disagree with me or agree. 528 00:31:13,270 --> 00:31:15,630 S8: She said it was up to me to make that decision, 529 00:31:15,630 --> 00:31:22,750 S8: that call. So I did finally sell this house. I 530 00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:27,590 S8: love this house. I put so much time, money, I 531 00:31:27,630 --> 00:31:32,070 S8: painted the bathroom. Everything was just so nice and lovely. 532 00:31:32,070 --> 00:31:35,270 S8: I'm not a painter, but I did paint one thing 533 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:38,670 S8: in that house, and it's so sentimental to me because 534 00:31:38,710 --> 00:31:42,590 S8: I put my time and my my whole heart into 535 00:31:42,590 --> 00:31:47,910 S8: this home. But when the buyer wanted to buy this 536 00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:53,550 S8: home after they after everything was closed, it took me 537 00:31:53,550 --> 00:31:58,310 S8: a long time to even recuperate from this because I 538 00:31:58,470 --> 00:32:01,630 S8: wanted to say, of course, but by me putting so 539 00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:05,590 S8: much into this house and trying to, it took so 540 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:08,910 S8: long to sell. I was just kind of back and forth, 541 00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:13,070 S8: discouraged and happy at the same time. But when I 542 00:32:13,070 --> 00:32:17,990 S8: did sell this house, I was happy because I had 543 00:32:17,990 --> 00:32:22,510 S8: it for so long, and I wanted someone to get 544 00:32:22,510 --> 00:32:26,550 S8: the house that accepted as it is and take care 545 00:32:26,550 --> 00:32:28,590 S8: of it as if it was their own. 546 00:32:29,110 --> 00:32:32,710 S1: Because, Esther, here's what I'm hearing you say, because you 547 00:32:32,710 --> 00:32:35,070 S1: know all the work and everything you put into it, 548 00:32:35,110 --> 00:32:38,510 S1: it was you that you put into it. This was 549 00:32:38,510 --> 00:32:42,790 S1: an expression of you, your creativity and your painting. And 550 00:32:43,030 --> 00:32:47,790 S1: and yes, it is a possession, but it shows, you know, 551 00:32:47,830 --> 00:32:51,830 S1: your handiwork that is there. So, Ray, jump in here. 552 00:32:51,830 --> 00:32:53,910 S1: Tell me what you think of what Esther said. 553 00:32:53,950 --> 00:32:58,710 S7: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think we underestimate how 554 00:32:58,710 --> 00:33:03,030 S7: much we invest. Even even a simple paint job or 555 00:33:03,430 --> 00:33:08,430 S7: anything with a house like that or anything, we we 556 00:33:08,470 --> 00:33:11,190 S7: really invest and we're not paying attention to it because 557 00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:13,910 S7: it seems like the task to be done. But then 558 00:33:13,910 --> 00:33:16,350 S7: when we walk away from it, it's like I'm leaving 559 00:33:16,350 --> 00:33:20,229 S7: part of me behind. And that's really understandable just because 560 00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:22,710 S7: of how we function, how God designed us. 561 00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:27,270 S1: Esther, thank you for your call today. I'm seeing this 562 00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:31,270 S1: over and over. Jeanne says on Facebook, when my we 563 00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:34,350 S1: sold my folks house, I did a walk through alone 564 00:33:34,710 --> 00:33:37,190 S1: just to let it all soak in. I couldn't believe 565 00:33:37,190 --> 00:33:39,470 S1: how sad I was. It was like the end of 566 00:33:39,470 --> 00:33:44,830 S1: an era, but a wonderful couple who appreciated it. It's good. Bones. 567 00:33:44,870 --> 00:33:47,550 S1: Bought it and they have been restoring it. It's been 568 00:33:47,550 --> 00:33:50,430 S1: a joy to watch. Now I find myself very thankful 569 00:33:50,430 --> 00:33:52,470 S1: for the memories, and I pray for the new family 570 00:33:52,470 --> 00:33:56,390 S1: that will make memories there. But it is fine to 571 00:33:56,430 --> 00:34:01,230 S1: grieve such a place of love. Jeanne. Thank you. Jeannie. Uh, 572 00:34:01,230 --> 00:34:03,910 S1: Jan is in Florida. Jan, what do you say about 573 00:34:03,910 --> 00:34:05,590 S1: our topic today? Hi, friend. 574 00:34:06,430 --> 00:34:11,670 S9: Hi. I'm. I'm mourning my grandparents farm as you talk. 575 00:34:12,390 --> 00:34:16,670 S9: And what I'm mourning is my history and my family's 576 00:34:16,670 --> 00:34:22,710 S9: history because it's like it's. It's messing with my history. Yeah. 577 00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:25,710 S9: Which is something nobody has a right to take from me. 578 00:34:27,070 --> 00:34:31,830 S9: And so that's what I'm mourning. Yeah. And so I 579 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:35,950 S9: treasured the memories that I had there. 580 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,870 S1: Tell me 1 or 2, Jan, what comes to your mind? 581 00:34:39,910 --> 00:34:43,270 S1: Would you just sum up that place? What's it like? 582 00:34:43,989 --> 00:34:50,710 S9: Okay. Uh, it was 440 acres. It was, uh, my 583 00:34:50,710 --> 00:34:57,310 S9: grandfather raised cattle for slaughter, and we did haying with 584 00:34:57,310 --> 00:35:01,630 S9: him and stuff. But there was a bluff. And I'm 585 00:35:01,630 --> 00:35:04,549 S9: from a family of seven kids. And whenever we went 586 00:35:04,550 --> 00:35:08,390 S9: out there, we would go up on the bluff and 587 00:35:08,390 --> 00:35:12,670 S9: all seven of us would play cowboys and Indians or 588 00:35:13,310 --> 00:35:20,310 S9: farmers and raiders, whatever. And when my grandfather did the 589 00:35:20,350 --> 00:35:22,790 S9: haying and he put it in the barn in the 590 00:35:22,790 --> 00:35:26,230 S9: loft of the barn, I know we drove him crazy 591 00:35:26,230 --> 00:35:29,390 S9: because we went up there and played cowboys and Indians. 592 00:35:29,390 --> 00:35:32,750 S9: We shot each other off of the and we busted 593 00:35:32,750 --> 00:35:38,109 S9: more bales of hay than he ever made any comment about. 594 00:35:38,630 --> 00:35:42,750 S9: But we we grew up on that farm from the 595 00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:46,469 S9: time I was born until I was graduating from high school. 596 00:35:46,910 --> 00:35:52,109 S9: That was where we went. So it was just it 597 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,390 S9: was our history. 598 00:35:53,989 --> 00:35:58,109 S1: But you have that history. See, what you just explained 599 00:35:58,110 --> 00:36:01,589 S1: to us is the memories that you have. But I 600 00:36:01,590 --> 00:36:03,390 S1: think part of what you're saying and part of what 601 00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:05,750 S1: I'm feeling is. Yeah, but it's never going to be 602 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,150 S1: the same again. I'm not going to be able to 603 00:36:08,190 --> 00:36:13,390 S1: go back and experience that that way. Ray, talk about that. 604 00:36:13,870 --> 00:36:18,910 S7: Yeah. The the thing I was reacting to your caller 605 00:36:18,910 --> 00:36:23,989 S7: was the smells when you're playing in. Hey, the smells 606 00:36:23,989 --> 00:36:27,750 S7: are just all part of those the memories I'm talking about, 607 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:31,230 S7: I think the the the the thing we keep in 608 00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:35,029 S7: mind is, you know, death may end a life, but 609 00:36:35,030 --> 00:36:38,390 S7: it doesn't end a relationship. And that's true with inanimate 610 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:43,830 S7: objects like land and history. You're right. History. Your history 611 00:36:43,830 --> 00:36:47,670 S7: can't be taken from you because it's contained within you 612 00:36:47,670 --> 00:36:49,790 S7: and all of the memories that you had that you 613 00:36:49,830 --> 00:36:51,430 S7: told one of even today. 614 00:36:52,230 --> 00:36:52,710 S5: Yeah. 615 00:36:53,190 --> 00:36:55,870 S1: Jill says, I experienced the same sadness when my sister 616 00:36:55,870 --> 00:36:58,430 S1: and I sold our parents home that we grew up in. Now, 617 00:36:58,430 --> 00:37:02,430 S1: 16 years later, the new owners have made many updates 618 00:37:02,430 --> 00:37:06,310 S1: to the home and that does our hearts good. I 619 00:37:06,350 --> 00:37:08,989 S1: got to go in and check out the improvements recently 620 00:37:09,030 --> 00:37:12,469 S1: and it was very comforting to do. Much improved. I 621 00:37:12,510 --> 00:37:16,150 S1: hope to do the same thing. Jill and Jan, thanks 622 00:37:16,150 --> 00:37:18,910 S1: for sharing your. History here with us today at the 623 00:37:18,910 --> 00:37:23,190 S1: Radio Backyard Fence. If you go to Kris. You'll see 624 00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:26,310 S1: more about our topic today as well as the book 625 00:37:26,550 --> 00:37:31,310 S1: by doctor Ray Mitch. The seasons of Our grief Chris Fabry, Livorno. 626 00:37:40,510 --> 00:37:43,550 S1: Linda says grief isn't something to feel guilty about. Chris. 627 00:37:43,630 --> 00:37:46,710 S1: Recognize the love that you have for someone or something 628 00:37:46,710 --> 00:37:51,230 S1: you lost. That's that's beautiful, that feeling. And in time, 629 00:37:51,230 --> 00:37:54,990 S1: you'll express your love for them or it in a new, 630 00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:59,150 S1: beautiful way. And then she includes this. Grief is the 631 00:37:59,150 --> 00:38:02,989 S1: last act of love we have to give those we loved. 632 00:38:03,590 --> 00:38:08,790 S1: Where there is deep grief, there was great love. That's helpful. 633 00:38:09,510 --> 00:38:12,190 S1: Patrick's in Florida. Patrick. Why did you call today? 634 00:38:12,989 --> 00:38:14,910 S10: Chris, I'm going to try to give you some advice 635 00:38:14,910 --> 00:38:17,069 S10: real quick here so I don't get over winded because 636 00:38:17,070 --> 00:38:21,110 S10: this is a great topic. Anyways, my thing is for you, 637 00:38:21,390 --> 00:38:25,629 S10: my my house that I'm 72 years old. The house 638 00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:27,950 S10: where I grew up in over 50 years was burnt 639 00:38:27,950 --> 00:38:30,230 S10: down and then we had to get rid of it 640 00:38:30,230 --> 00:38:32,630 S10: and it was so difficult for me to let it go. 641 00:38:32,630 --> 00:38:36,830 S10: It was an umbilical cord cut. But what I realized 642 00:38:36,830 --> 00:38:40,109 S10: is I had to throw a fishnet of memories out 643 00:38:40,110 --> 00:38:42,510 S10: there to hold on to as somebody else came in 644 00:38:42,670 --> 00:38:45,629 S10: and took it. There was so much life in this 645 00:38:45,630 --> 00:38:48,549 S10: home that that I grew up in, from not just 646 00:38:48,550 --> 00:38:50,910 S10: my own family, but all my buddies wanted to come 647 00:38:50,910 --> 00:38:54,950 S10: there because we had go karts. We had horses, cows, pigs, cats, rats, 648 00:38:54,989 --> 00:38:57,870 S10: and we had a monkey. But the thing is, that 649 00:38:57,870 --> 00:39:00,350 S10: was great about it was all the memories. And when 650 00:39:00,350 --> 00:39:02,910 S10: it burnt down and somebody else came in and took it, 651 00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:07,430 S10: it was very difficult. But what I what I'm sharing 652 00:39:07,430 --> 00:39:10,870 S10: with you is for me to hold on to it. 653 00:39:10,870 --> 00:39:13,310 S10: I threw a fish. You can fish net. You can 654 00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:16,270 S10: tell them in Florida of my memories. And I still 655 00:39:16,270 --> 00:39:19,189 S10: hold on to that. It's been 25 years ago that 656 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:21,910 S10: the house burned down. And it took my mom though too. 657 00:39:22,030 --> 00:39:26,070 S10: And that was another thing about it. What a what 658 00:39:26,070 --> 00:39:28,430 S10: a what an incredible thing to hold on to. So 659 00:39:28,430 --> 00:39:31,470 S10: as you move on in your life, let that go. 660 00:39:31,830 --> 00:39:34,630 S10: Cut that in bilical cord. But hold on to those 661 00:39:34,630 --> 00:39:37,190 S10: memories with your heart as much as you can, and 662 00:39:37,190 --> 00:39:39,029 S10: as long as you can, and share them with your 663 00:39:39,030 --> 00:39:41,790 S10: kids and your grandkids, because they will hold on to 664 00:39:41,830 --> 00:39:45,270 S10: that too, because it comes from you. Yeah, that's my story. 665 00:39:46,030 --> 00:39:49,430 S1: Oh, I love it. Patrick. You were real concise with that. 666 00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:52,830 S1: Thank you. Uh, Rick says online, going back to North Dakota, 667 00:39:52,870 --> 00:39:55,870 S1: the farm my grandparents lived on was a mixture of emotions. 668 00:39:55,870 --> 00:39:58,710 S1: The house and barn were gone. I stood there and 669 00:39:58,710 --> 00:40:02,430 S1: had a flood of memories, just like Patrick was talking about. 670 00:40:02,910 --> 00:40:05,830 S1: A flood of memories swept over me and caused me 671 00:40:05,830 --> 00:40:08,910 S1: to cry as if someone close to me had died 672 00:40:09,510 --> 00:40:12,190 S1: because the land is still being farmed by some of 673 00:40:12,190 --> 00:40:16,950 S1: my cousins. The outhouse was left standing. It's over a 674 00:40:16,950 --> 00:40:22,150 S1: hundred years old. As odd as it might sound, seeing 675 00:40:22,150 --> 00:40:27,310 S1: the outhouse gave me some joy. I get that, Rick. 676 00:40:27,350 --> 00:40:30,710 S1: I really do. And there was somebody else who said, uh, 677 00:40:31,270 --> 00:40:34,469 S1: you know, I had emotion when I sold my first car, 678 00:40:35,030 --> 00:40:38,109 S1: and it may seem like. Well, you know, that's awful. No. 679 00:40:38,110 --> 00:40:42,149 S1: It's not. Off topic. That's exactly what I'm talking about. 680 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:45,430 S1: There's something inside, and you almost feel bad because it's 681 00:40:45,430 --> 00:40:49,390 S1: an inanimate, inanimate thing. It's not a person. You don't 682 00:40:49,390 --> 00:40:52,190 S1: have to feel bad about. That person after person has 683 00:40:52,190 --> 00:40:56,110 S1: said that to me. Lori is in Michigan. Hi, Lori. 684 00:40:56,150 --> 00:40:56,950 S1: Go right ahead. 685 00:40:57,510 --> 00:40:58,310 S6: Hi, Chris. 686 00:40:58,310 --> 00:41:02,870 S11: Thanks for taking my call. Um, I can relate to 687 00:41:02,910 --> 00:41:06,669 S11: what you're saying because I lost my mom a year 688 00:41:06,670 --> 00:41:09,469 S11: ago on January 10th, and we had to go through 689 00:41:09,469 --> 00:41:13,830 S11: the process after that of, um, fixing up some things 690 00:41:13,830 --> 00:41:16,469 S11: and giving everything a coat of paint and selling our 691 00:41:16,469 --> 00:41:20,150 S11: childhood home. And, um, we did all of that in 692 00:41:20,150 --> 00:41:24,270 S11: this past year and just had the anniversary of her passing, 693 00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:27,509 S11: and it is hard. And I just really wanted to 694 00:41:27,510 --> 00:41:30,990 S11: call to say, I understand your grief and the difficulty, 695 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:33,790 S11: and I think what's gotten me through and kind of 696 00:41:33,830 --> 00:41:35,989 S11: helps me is just to know that I'll see my 697 00:41:35,989 --> 00:41:41,109 S11: parents again. And, um, I just thank God for the 698 00:41:41,110 --> 00:41:44,230 S11: childhood that I had and all the memories and the 699 00:41:44,910 --> 00:41:47,430 S11: just the things to be sad about that I had 700 00:41:47,430 --> 00:41:49,910 S11: those experiences. So. 701 00:41:50,350 --> 00:41:53,189 S1: Yeah, be thankful that you can be that you have 702 00:41:53,190 --> 00:41:55,310 S1: something to be sad about, right? 703 00:41:55,350 --> 00:41:57,350 S11: Exactly. Yeah, exactly. 704 00:41:57,390 --> 00:42:01,270 S1: Good. Laurie. Thank you. I had, uh, I had a 705 00:42:01,310 --> 00:42:06,350 S1: neighbor post on Facebook. Uh, no matter who bought it, 706 00:42:06,390 --> 00:42:10,190 S1: meaning the farm, it will forever be the neighbor's house. 707 00:42:10,469 --> 00:42:14,030 S1: And this is there was a corner of the property 708 00:42:14,070 --> 00:42:16,750 S1: that my dad, I don't know if he's. I think 709 00:42:16,750 --> 00:42:20,790 S1: he sold it to Diana's dad, Diana. I went to 710 00:42:20,790 --> 00:42:23,950 S1: first grade together. We went through, you know, all school together, 711 00:42:23,989 --> 00:42:28,710 S1: rode the bus together. And, um, there was a a 712 00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:33,070 S1: time when I was riding on my bike. They had, uh, 713 00:42:33,070 --> 00:42:37,470 S1: newly paved the road in front of their house. The 714 00:42:37,630 --> 00:42:41,230 S1: county had. And I fell, and I hit my head 715 00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:44,390 S1: and left a, you know, it was bleeding and everything. 716 00:42:44,430 --> 00:42:48,830 S1: And Diana's dad picked me up, and her mom actually, uh, 717 00:42:48,830 --> 00:42:51,870 S1: helped nursed me back to health. And then her dad 718 00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:55,710 S1: drove me up. And it was her dad that, uh, 719 00:42:55,710 --> 00:42:58,870 S1: saw the young man across the street who had climbed 720 00:42:58,870 --> 00:43:03,350 S1: the electric pole and had come in contact with a 721 00:43:03,350 --> 00:43:08,950 S1: high tension wire and was electrocuted. Who climbed up and 722 00:43:08,950 --> 00:43:13,509 S1: literally saved his life and and brought him down from 723 00:43:13,510 --> 00:43:17,589 S1: there with the EMTs who came. And so when I 724 00:43:17,590 --> 00:43:23,070 S1: say the land, it's those memories and those sense memories. 725 00:43:23,270 --> 00:43:25,870 S1: And then that young man who would come walking up 726 00:43:25,870 --> 00:43:29,710 S1: the road to play baseball or football or whatever with 727 00:43:29,710 --> 00:43:33,589 S1: my brothers. Uh, after he had recuperated, all of these 728 00:43:33,590 --> 00:43:37,590 S1: things stir around. What do you do with that? And 729 00:43:37,590 --> 00:43:42,189 S1: no wonder there's something going on inside. Drew is in Indiana. Drew, 730 00:43:42,230 --> 00:43:45,190 S1: congratulations on the football game last night. Why did you 731 00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:45,870 S1: call today? 732 00:43:46,830 --> 00:43:48,509 S12: Well, not to gloat over that, but that was a 733 00:43:48,510 --> 00:43:53,069 S12: good one. Um, yeah. Appreciate you taking my call. Um, 734 00:43:53,110 --> 00:43:55,830 S12: when my wife and I moved to Indiana, uh, about 735 00:43:55,830 --> 00:43:57,910 S12: ten years ago, we had the opportunity to kind of 736 00:43:58,070 --> 00:44:00,910 S12: buy our dream property. And the Lord opened that door 737 00:44:00,950 --> 00:44:03,350 S12: after hunting and finding it. So we had a ten 738 00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:06,509 S12: acre mini farm. Three small kids was going to put 739 00:44:06,510 --> 00:44:08,669 S12: in all the work and turn it into our little homestead. 740 00:44:08,670 --> 00:44:13,230 S12: As we pursued ministry and as time wore on, I 741 00:44:13,230 --> 00:44:15,830 S12: realized I'd broken my back. I couldn't take care of 742 00:44:15,830 --> 00:44:20,950 S12: the property. All the dreams fell apart and, um, realized 743 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:24,150 S12: we needed to sell the property and find somewhere else. 744 00:44:24,150 --> 00:44:27,430 S12: And so it wasn't as much a loss of history. 745 00:44:27,870 --> 00:44:31,430 S12: It was the grief of losing a future that I 746 00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:34,509 S12: had longed for for years. And now that I had 747 00:44:34,510 --> 00:44:37,830 S12: a family and was seeing how my kids and grandkids 748 00:44:37,830 --> 00:44:40,870 S12: would grow up on this property, it was it was 749 00:44:40,870 --> 00:44:44,670 S12: hard to go through the process of losing that. So 750 00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:46,390 S12: just wanted to share. 751 00:44:46,550 --> 00:44:48,790 S1: So how did you how did you deal with it? 752 00:44:48,830 --> 00:44:52,109 S1: What what was the process and have you dealt with it? 753 00:44:52,550 --> 00:44:54,990 S12: Well, I would have to say probably not very well, 754 00:44:54,989 --> 00:44:57,669 S12: but God is. God is kind. Put me in in 755 00:44:57,710 --> 00:45:01,390 S12: some good environments to help, and I just had to 756 00:45:01,390 --> 00:45:05,150 S12: come down to trusting God with everything. It's not my plans, 757 00:45:05,150 --> 00:45:09,069 S12: it's his. And only his works can persevere forever. So 758 00:45:09,070 --> 00:45:10,710 S12: I have to trust him both for the good and 759 00:45:10,710 --> 00:45:11,230 S12: the bad. 760 00:45:11,510 --> 00:45:12,070 S5: Yes. 761 00:45:12,350 --> 00:45:16,189 S1: And walk. Walk with him and allow him to walk 762 00:45:16,190 --> 00:45:19,029 S1: with you and comfort you and give you peace. Peace 763 00:45:19,030 --> 00:45:21,989 S1: to your heart there, friend. Drew, thank you for calling today. 764 00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:24,710 S1: One of the questions that has come out of this, 765 00:45:24,710 --> 00:45:29,549 S1: because there's no temptation that has befallen you that that 766 00:45:29,550 --> 00:45:33,710 S1: Jesus hasn't experienced, there's some life experience. And I wondered, 767 00:45:34,270 --> 00:45:39,029 S1: did Jesus experience anything like this? The selling of the 768 00:45:39,030 --> 00:45:43,989 S1: land when when his father Joseph, if he died in 769 00:45:44,030 --> 00:45:48,190 S1: that process of well, from the cross, you know, he's 770 00:45:48,270 --> 00:45:52,550 S1: he says to John, here is your mother and and 771 00:45:52,590 --> 00:45:55,989 S1: this is your son, and, you know, take care, Take 772 00:45:55,989 --> 00:45:59,990 S1: care of her. Was there an experience that he had? 773 00:46:00,030 --> 00:46:01,989 S1: These are some of the things that are rolling around 774 00:46:01,989 --> 00:46:07,870 S1: my soul on something like signing the document that says, 775 00:46:07,870 --> 00:46:11,950 S1: this is no longer yours. Yes, I can still go there. 776 00:46:11,950 --> 00:46:14,630 S1: And yes, I have the memories and Jan the history. 777 00:46:14,630 --> 00:46:17,469 S1: I can still think of the history and I can 778 00:46:17,469 --> 00:46:21,310 S1: treasure those memories. But it's still real that the grief 779 00:46:21,310 --> 00:46:24,790 S1: is real. So glad Ray could be with us today 780 00:46:24,790 --> 00:46:26,589 S1: for just a few minutes. I'm going to have him back. 781 00:46:26,630 --> 00:46:29,469 S1: You've got to hear more of his story about the 782 00:46:29,469 --> 00:46:33,310 S1: seasons of grief. Tomorrow we're going to talk about God 783 00:46:33,350 --> 00:46:37,110 S1: on the move. God is on the move at death row, 784 00:46:37,270 --> 00:46:40,110 S1: and you'll hear about that. And more on Chris Fabry 785 00:46:40,110 --> 00:46:44,950 S1: live production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute. 786 00:46:44,989 --> 00:46:46,110 S1: Thanks a lot for listening.