1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,480 S1: Hi friends. Thanks so much for downloading this podcast, and 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,520 S1: I hope truly that you will hear something that will encourage, edify, 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,200 S1: equip and enlighten you to get out there and influence 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,879 S1: and occupy until he comes. And on that note, may 5 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,760 S1: I take just a few moments here to describe this 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,800 S1: month's truth tool? It's by pastor Jack Hibbs. He's written 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,599 S1: the book called Called to Take a Bold Stand. I 8 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,079 S1: absolutely love this book because it reminds us that in 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,200 S1: Christ all things pass away. All things become new, that 10 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,760 S1: we are standing for his truth, that we have a 11 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,640 S1: new nature. Because of him, we should be living boldly. 12 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,080 S1: But far too often we retreat out of fear from 13 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,080 S1: cultural blowback. So I want to encourage all of us 14 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,519 S1: to just stand up for Christ, to be unashamed of 15 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,479 S1: who we are in him, and to go into a 16 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,599 S1: culture that's telling us in no uncertain terms. They're lost 17 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,720 S1: and they're hurting. So if you'd like a copy of 18 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,960 S1: Pastor Hibbs new book called Call to Take a Bold Stand, 19 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,720 S1: just give a gift of any amount by calling eight, seven, seven. 20 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,680 S1: Janet 58. We are listener supported radio, and this is 21 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,640 S1: my way of saying thank you. So that number again 22 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,200 S1: is 877 Janet 58. Or you can go online in 23 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,100 S1: the market with Janet dot o r g. Go to 24 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,180 S1: the bottom of the page. There's the cover of Pastor 25 00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:06,700 S1: Jack's book. Click it on, give a gift and you'll 26 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,179 S1: be good to go. And we'll send you a copy 27 00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:10,060 S1: as a way of saying thank you. Don't forget, you 28 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:12,539 S1: can also become a partial partner. Those are people who 29 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,179 S1: give every single month at a level of their own choosing. 30 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:17,180 S1: My way of saying thank you to the partial partners 31 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,780 S1: is to make sure you get a copy of each 32 00:01:18,819 --> 00:01:21,620 S1: month's truth tool, and you get our weekly newsletter, which 33 00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:24,300 S1: includes some of my writing and an audio piece only 34 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,780 S1: for my partial partners. So whether it's a one time 35 00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,619 S1: gift or you want to be an ongoing giver and 36 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,899 S1: become a partial partner, that's your call. But I want 37 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,060 S1: to thank you in advance. Eight seven, seven Janet 58. 38 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,340 S1: Or online at In the Market with Janet Parshall. Now 39 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,140 S1: please enjoy the broadcast. 40 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,740 S2: Here are some of the news headlines we're watching. 41 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,459 S3: The conference was over. The president won a pledge for. 42 00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,500 S4: Americans worshipping government over God. 43 00:01:46,819 --> 00:01:50,220 S5: Extremely rare safety move by a 17 years. 44 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:52,300 S6: The Palestinians and Israelis negotiated. 45 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,430 S1: Hi friends. Welcome to In the Market with Janet Partial. 46 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,350 S1: Thank you so much for spending the hour with me. Boy, 47 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,709 S1: we are about to engage in a very important conversation. 48 00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:18,990 S1: We start each and every one of our broadcasts with 49 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:23,110 S1: that audio representation of the cacophony that represents the marketplace 50 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,710 S1: of ideas. And if you and I were to go there, 51 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,670 S1: and I certainly hope we're going to go there, because 52 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,109 S1: Jesus told us to go there so we could let 53 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,669 S1: our light so shine before men, so we could influence 54 00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:35,470 S1: and occupy, so we could seek the welfare of the city, 55 00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:38,630 S1: so we could live lights that shine in a wicked 56 00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:41,589 S1: and perverse generation. Should I keep going? Well, anyway, when 57 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:43,870 S1: you get there and I hope I'll meet you there, 58 00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:46,430 S1: you understand, one of the hot topics is this whole 59 00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:50,190 S1: idea of human sexuality. And I, for one, as a 60 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,910 S1: kid raised in the church who came to faith in 61 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:54,510 S1: Christ very early on, I would have not seen this 62 00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:57,290 S1: one coming for love or money. Who would have thought 63 00:02:57,290 --> 00:03:00,090 S1: that the tip of the spear that would challenge biblical 64 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,690 S1: authority and the character of God would be this idea 65 00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:05,169 S1: of one's sexual identity? But when you stop and think 66 00:03:05,169 --> 00:03:07,330 S1: about it, I mean, there is kind of a logic 67 00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:09,930 S1: to the demonic action that's taking place right now. I mean, 68 00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:11,730 S1: you have to go into the scriptures up to your 69 00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:14,209 S1: ankles in the book of Genesis, and there you have 70 00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:17,930 S1: the old serpent hissing, rattling his tail and questioning God. 71 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:21,970 S1: Did God really say that he made male and female? 72 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,770 S1: Did he really say that marriage should be defined as 73 00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:28,330 S1: one man and one woman? Nothing else, no other variations, 74 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:31,290 S1: one man, one woman? And is it not interesting that 75 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:33,929 S1: he does all of that in a place of perfection? 76 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:37,010 S1: When you stop and think about it, God gave us sex. 77 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,450 S1: Not rock and roll, not the rolling Stone magazine, not MTV. 78 00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:44,050 S1: It was God who gave us sex. For something more, 79 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:48,450 S1: I think, than creation and pleasure, I think it's because 80 00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,810 S1: it speaks to the intimacy of what it means to 81 00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:53,570 S1: be the bride of Christ. That's his church, and he 82 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:57,660 S1: is the bridegroom. this idea that he is the bridegroom 83 00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:00,580 S1: and we, the church, his bride, wait for him anxiously 84 00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:02,940 S1: to come and take us home. So when you think 85 00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,300 S1: about it, and you put on those biblical glasses, which 86 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,860 S1: automatically gives us 2020 vision, you realize it isn't kind 87 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,660 S1: of a surprise at all that Satan would go to 88 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:14,619 S1: the core of who we are, our identity, and we 89 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,979 S1: tend first blush to think of our identity as being 90 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,700 S1: purely sexual, male or female. But Paul in acts 17 91 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,460 S1: says it's a whole lot more than that. It's in him. 92 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:25,779 S1: We live and move and have our being. Paul doesn't 93 00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:28,620 S1: even mention sex in all of that. Our identity is 94 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:32,540 S1: in him. I've been crucified with Christ and I no 95 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:36,180 S1: longer live, but Christ lives in me. So we're going 96 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:39,700 S1: to have a conversation with the woman who's bold. She's courageous. 97 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:45,060 S1: She's vulnerable. She's open, she's wonderfully athletic, and I'm so 98 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,820 S1: glad that she was bold enough to share the story 99 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,980 S1: of what Christ did in for and through her. Knowing 100 00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:54,680 S1: that the power of her testimony could be used to 101 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:59,360 S1: powerfully impact other people who likewise struggle in this post-truth 102 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,920 S1: era in which we find ourselves with their identity. Who 103 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,560 S1: am I, male or female? Kylie Gillespie is with us. 104 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,960 S1: She has written a marvelous book called Transformed The Power 105 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,120 S1: of God's Word and God's People in one woman's journey 106 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:17,080 S1: through gender confusion, reassignment surgery, and detransitioning. I should tell 107 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,720 S1: you also that Kyla is the founder of Renewed and 108 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,719 S1: Transformed Ministries. And as a result of that, now she 109 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,520 S1: speaks all over the globe. Kyla, I have been so 110 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,640 S1: looking forward to this conversation. Thank you so very much 111 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,039 S1: for joining me, and thank you for your courage in 112 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:31,839 S1: writing the book. 113 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,840 S7: Thank you. It's an honour to be here with you 114 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,000 S7: and I'm excited to get into this conversation. 115 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,240 S1: I am too, Kyla, thank you so much. Let me 116 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,320 S1: do a little bit about your background. And by the way, 117 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,040 S1: let me tell my friends, because I love and care 118 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,919 S1: for you, that Kyla points out early on in the 119 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,760 S1: book that this is an age appropriate conversation. So let 120 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,520 S1: me offer you the same grace. Mom and dad, you 121 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,660 S1: might not want to have to start this conversation. You 122 00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,860 S1: will at some time with your child. But if this 123 00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,900 S1: isn't the time or the place, just know that now 124 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,580 S1: you know what we're going to be talking about. If 125 00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:01,860 S1: this isn't age appropriate, I understand. But if it is, 126 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,220 S1: pull your chair up and get a little closer. So 127 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,220 S1: let me talk about your background. One of the things 128 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:08,780 S1: that immediately hit me was that when you were raised 129 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:11,980 S1: and you should see, I'd be embarrassed, actually, if you 130 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,620 S1: saw my copy of the book. It's dog eared and underlined, 131 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,580 S1: but tells you how much I was into the book. 132 00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:18,779 S1: You were raised in a Christian home, and I loved 133 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,780 S1: the way and by the way, from Canada, from British Columbia. Gorgeous, gorgeous, 134 00:06:21,779 --> 00:06:24,500 S1: gorgeous place on planet earth. By the way, church was 135 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,900 S1: a regular thing. You were you have a brother, you 136 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:29,219 S1: went to church on a regular basis and it was 137 00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:32,900 S1: it sounded like an absolutely fabulous home. And church was 138 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,620 S1: something that you were a part of. In fact, you 139 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,620 S1: came to faith in Christ when you were little, were 140 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,100 S1: you not? 141 00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,460 S7: Absolutely. Yeah. I was raised in the Christian home, like 142 00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:42,660 S7: you were saying. And we had like what you would 143 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:47,300 S7: call a quintessential perfect Christian home. You know? Um, I 144 00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:50,180 S7: never saw my parents fighting. Uh, we were highly involved 145 00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:53,190 S7: in the church. My dad was an usher. Every single 146 00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:56,390 S7: Sunday at church and my mom was on the worship team. Uh, 147 00:06:56,390 --> 00:07:00,750 S7: we had good, healthy boundaries as a Christian family. Um, 148 00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:04,790 S7: and so yeah, I love Jesus. As early as I 149 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,630 S7: can remember, I just had faith like a child and 150 00:07:07,630 --> 00:07:08,789 S7: believed in God. 151 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:11,470 S1: Wow. That's precious. And I want people to understand this 152 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,510 S1: because so often they think that these kinds of issues are, quote, 153 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:16,910 S1: outside the church. They're not. We're all made of flesh 154 00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:20,070 S1: and blood. And these kinds of temptations and struggles are universal. 155 00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:22,070 S1: So that's point number one that I want to underscore 156 00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:24,750 S1: that Khalil was raised in a Christian home. He had 157 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,870 S1: one brother. How soon did you know you were athletic? 158 00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:32,270 S7: Yeah. So my dad's side of the family is very athletic. 159 00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:36,550 S7: I had a younger cousin male, and we would play 160 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:41,830 S7: sports together outside, you know, baseball, hockey, whatever. I always 161 00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:45,790 S7: wanted to be playing street hockey. My dad and my 162 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:51,210 S7: cousin's family was all were also a huge Vancouver Canucks fans. 163 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:55,810 S7: And so we would watch the games in Vancouver. Um, yeah, 164 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:58,450 S7: it was just part of my life. And so I 165 00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:02,930 S7: realized probably later on when I started to play hockey 166 00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:05,730 S7: at the age of five and a half, six, that 167 00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:09,930 S7: I was athletic because, um, I really thought I was 168 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:13,170 S7: one of the girls I fit in with, uh, back 169 00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:16,130 S7: in the 80s, we didn't have gender specific hockey teams. 170 00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,330 S7: Girls played with boys, but I was the only girl 171 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,730 S7: on the team, and I was one of the best 172 00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,090 S7: players on the team at a very young age. 173 00:08:23,130 --> 00:08:25,290 S1: Wow. And you had dreams for really going places with 174 00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:26,730 S1: your athleticism, didn't you? 175 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:31,130 S7: Yes, absolutely. That that came on later when I really 176 00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:35,050 S7: embraced hockey as my main sport. I wanted to, uh, 177 00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:39,809 S7: honestly put on the Maple Leaf and, uh, play for 178 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,290 S7: play in the Olympics. 179 00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,410 S1: Wow. Big dreams. That's fabulous. Do you ever worry about 180 00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:46,530 S1: losing your front teeth? Uh. 181 00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:49,980 S7: No. no, we always wore cages. And even in the 182 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,620 S7: female game, they wear cages. 183 00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:55,540 S1: That's cool. So somebody out there listening, I'm sure, would 184 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:57,100 S1: have asked that. Let me take a break and come 185 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,540 S1: right back. So I want you to get part of 186 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:03,340 S1: Kylie's background so that you can understand how much deeper 187 00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:06,939 S1: these questions of who you are really come from, and 188 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,540 S1: why they can happen to anybody out there. The book 189 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:12,740 S1: is called Transform the Power of God's Word and God's 190 00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:16,980 S1: People in one woman's journey through gender confusion, reassignment surgery, 191 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:20,460 S1: and detransition we are just getting started. So thankful that 192 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,900 S1: we have people listening all across the country from Guam 193 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,059 S1: to the Cayman Islands. And yep, we've even got some 194 00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:28,100 S1: wonderful Canadian listeners as well. More with Kylie Gillespie right 195 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:48,240 S1: after this. As culture continues to stumble into darkness, it's 196 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,440 S1: easy to lose heart and grow weary in your faith. 197 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,440 S1: And that's why I've chosen Called to Take a bold 198 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,199 S1: stand by pastor Jack Hibbs as this month's truth tool. 199 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,240 S1: Learn how to represent Christ's courageously in a hurting world. 200 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,120 S1: As for your copy of call to take a bold 201 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,760 S1: stand when you give a gift of any amount to. 202 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:06,480 S1: In the market, call 877. Janet 58. That's 877. Janet 58. 203 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,839 S1: Or go to in the market with Janet dot o 204 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,480 S1: r g. We have the privilege of spending the hour 205 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:16,920 S1: with Kyla Gillespie, who's the founder of Renewed and Transformed Ministries. 206 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,880 S1: Born in British Columbia, Canada. She is the author of 207 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,200 S1: Transformed the Power of God's Word and God's People and 208 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:28,640 S1: One Woman's Journey Through Gender Confusion, reassignment surgery, and Detransitioning. And, 209 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,840 S1: you know, it's out there. We talk about this so 210 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,520 S1: much on this program only because, as I've noted earlier, 211 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,160 S1: this is the tip of the spear. It really goes 212 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,920 S1: to the core of challenging who God is, whether or 213 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,000 S1: not he keeps his promises, whether or not he's a 214 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,479 S1: God who can be trusted, and where we find our identity, 215 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,060 S1: every single one of us has. Blaise Pascal used to 216 00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:50,260 S1: say that French mathematician from the 17th century there resides 217 00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:52,380 S1: in the heart of every man, a God shaped void, 218 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,740 S1: and only a personal relationship with him can fill it. 219 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,819 S1: So we are all on the search for our identity 220 00:10:57,820 --> 00:11:01,179 S1: and the search for significance. That's not by accident. God 221 00:11:01,179 --> 00:11:04,460 S1: fingerprinted our heart so that we would search and we 222 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:08,500 S1: would eventually find ourselves finding him. If you seek him, 223 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,620 S1: you will find him. If you seek him with all 224 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:13,380 S1: your heart, he will be found. Every single one of us, 225 00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:16,740 S1: not yet saved or saved. That's our pursuit, is to 226 00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:19,340 S1: know who God is and if he loves us. And 227 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:21,580 S1: there's a purpose for my life. So that takes us 228 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:24,020 S1: right back to Kyla's story. So let me just point 229 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,180 S1: out again, and you hear me say this, particularly about 230 00:11:26,179 --> 00:11:28,820 S1: books that have impacted me personally. There is a ton 231 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:31,940 S1: of stuff in Kyla's book that just because of the 232 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:33,780 S1: metrics of time, I'm not going to be able to 233 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,980 S1: get to. So pardon me if I have to sort 234 00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:38,380 S1: of hop skip over some of the sections of Kyla's life, 235 00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:39,660 S1: but I want you to get to some of the 236 00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:43,390 S1: core issues that she dealt with. So very athletic involved 237 00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,030 S1: in sports. Big dreams. Wants to be involved in hockey, which, 238 00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:48,110 S1: by the way, is just amazing to talk to a 239 00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:51,309 S1: woman who wanted to play hockey. I think that's fabulous. 240 00:11:51,309 --> 00:11:54,349 S1: But at some point in your life, things start to unravel. 241 00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:57,950 S1: And they did it in such a slow but steady way. Kyla, 242 00:11:57,990 --> 00:11:59,470 S1: my heart broke as I went through so many of 243 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,950 S1: the chapters of your life. Your mom and dad, and 244 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:04,150 S1: I'm sure particularly as a Christian kid raised in a 245 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,790 S1: Christian household, as was I. The word divorce never even 246 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:10,470 S1: crossed your mind. It wasn't even going to be something 247 00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:13,630 S1: you'd experience. And yet that happened. Tell me a little 248 00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:15,310 S1: bit about that season of your life. 249 00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:18,230 S7: Yeah, it was a very difficult season. I was about 250 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:22,990 S7: 14 years old. My parents sat me down in our home, 251 00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,590 S7: my brother and myself, and they started to go on 252 00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:30,750 S7: explaining that they were going to get a divorce. And 253 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,630 S7: this shook and rattled our family completely because of how 254 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,190 S7: involved we were in the church and not seeing them 255 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:41,270 S7: ever argue or fight. Uh, you know, in front of us, 256 00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:45,970 S7: It was a complete surprise. And so that really impacted 257 00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:50,209 S7: because now we have a broken family. My mom moves 258 00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:53,570 S7: out and within a year she gets remarried. She marries 259 00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:58,650 S7: an unbeliever, which also was a crazy thought being raised 260 00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:03,770 S7: in a good, strict biblical home. You know, family. And 261 00:13:03,770 --> 00:13:07,170 S7: now my mom is married to someone who doesn't believe 262 00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:11,050 S7: in Jesus at all. And so I, I wrestled with that, 263 00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:15,770 S7: but also within about probably another half year after my 264 00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:19,689 S7: mom got married, my dad met a godly woman who 265 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:23,170 S7: went to our church, our local church in on the island, 266 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,610 S7: and he married a woman with five kids. So the 267 00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:29,610 S7: whole dynamic of our home changed. 268 00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:33,290 S1: And I read with tears in my eyes about how 269 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,890 S1: the dynamic between you and your dad changed in particular, 270 00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:38,650 S1: because he was your rock. You always felt like you belonged, 271 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:41,310 S1: that there was a safe place with your dad, and 272 00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:44,790 S1: his affections started to shift toward this woman and her 273 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:48,030 S1: five children. And one event in particular hit me. You 274 00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:49,750 S1: loved going to church camp, as did I as a 275 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:52,230 S1: kid growing up, and you were short some money. You 276 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:54,510 S1: asked your dad for the money and he said, I'm 277 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:56,110 S1: not in a place right now that I can help you, 278 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:59,949 S1: and yet provided money for the stepchild and his family. 279 00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:02,990 S1: Now you talk about rejection. Tell me how you handled that, 280 00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:06,590 S1: because that was just emblematic of one moment where you thought, 281 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:09,030 S1: who am I? I'm not my daddy's daughter anymore. 282 00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:12,710 S7: Yeah, we had such a close relationship. My dad and I, 283 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:16,390 S7: he growing up, he was my hero. He was someone 284 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:19,190 S7: who came to every single sporting event there was. We 285 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:23,190 S7: would travel up and down the island, even to Vancouver to, uh, 286 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,070 S7: you know, play hockey. I thought I would play hockey 287 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:28,470 S7: and he would come and we would pack lunches. And 288 00:14:28,470 --> 00:14:32,150 S7: so we were very close. We're a lot alike. And, um, 289 00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:36,470 S7: that really threw me because I didn't see that coming 290 00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:41,040 S7: where my dad would remarry and then, you know, eventually 291 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,360 S7: tell me that it was just easier to start over 292 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,120 S7: with a new family. And I was just so broken. Uh, 293 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,840 S7: so when I went to the camp and he said no, 294 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:53,800 S7: and then I, I'm walking, you know, down the hill 295 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,200 S7: at the camp, at the youth camp, and I see 296 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,960 S7: my stepsister. Of course, it's not her. It wasn't her 297 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,960 S7: fault or anything, but I was devastated. I was like, 298 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:07,920 S7: why not me? You know, I've been with you forever, dad, 299 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,760 S7: and I'm your daughter. And, uh, yeah, so I, I 300 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:16,480 S7: became very angry and I also suppressed a lot of 301 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:23,240 S7: my feelings and really, um, yeah, just became a angry teenager. 302 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,640 S1: Do you think that you were a person inherently that 303 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,840 S1: tends to keep her feelings inside? 304 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,360 S7: I would say that as I've grown, you know, in 305 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:35,440 S7: my relationship with Jesus and have really close, trusted friends 306 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,580 S7: within the body of Christ, I've learned that it's better 307 00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:41,860 S7: to tell someone you trust what you're wrestling with and 308 00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:45,660 S7: going through. But yeah, I we didn't talk about our 309 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:50,500 S7: feelings in the 90s, uh, especially not in our home. Uh, 310 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:55,620 S7: so I really did suppress everything. Stop talking about my feelings. 311 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:59,860 S7: And just everything on the outside was supposed to look good, 312 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:03,260 S7: but it was crashing in on me, and I found 313 00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:05,100 S7: it very hard to breathe. 314 00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:08,780 S1: Yeah. And you. Right. Also. And boy, it was heartbreaking 315 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:11,660 S1: to read this going back and forth weekends with your dad, 316 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,820 S1: weekdays with your mom. Then that would reverse. And then 317 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,820 S1: you'd be in the basement apartment and then you wouldn't 318 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:18,900 S1: be there anymore. And you didn't feel like you belonged anywhere, 319 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:19,460 S1: did you? 320 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:25,060 S7: Yeah. I lost my feeling of security and belonging. Um, 321 00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:28,460 S7: it was it was my mom and, and my stepdad 322 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,700 S7: and my dad and his wife and five kids. And 323 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,100 S7: I kind of felt like I didn't really fit in. 324 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,230 S1: Wow. So let me take a break if I can. 325 00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:38,190 S1: Kaylar at this point, and when we come back, I 326 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:42,030 S1: want to get into the whole area of your feelings 327 00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:45,390 S1: and your sexual identity, who you thought you were, um, 328 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:48,590 S1: what your feelings were about women if you kept those 329 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:52,910 S1: feelings to yourself. And then the role of some substances 330 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:55,150 S1: that started to play in your life as well. It's 331 00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:58,590 S1: a powerful testimony, but it really does speak of God's protection, 332 00:16:58,590 --> 00:17:02,030 S1: his love, his mercy, his sovereignty, and his truth. The 333 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:04,910 S1: book is called Transformed the Power of God's Word. And 334 00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:07,150 S1: God's people hang onto both of those because they factor 335 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:10,070 S1: into the story. As we continue in one woman's journey 336 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:15,350 S1: that's kaylar through gender confusion, reassignment surgery, and detransitioning. More 337 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:39,890 S1: after this. Carla Gillespie is with us, founder of Renewed 338 00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:43,410 S1: and Transformed Ministries. She also joins us to discuss her 339 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,609 S1: powerful book called transform, which is her story, The Power 340 00:17:46,609 --> 00:17:49,050 S1: of God's Word and God's People in one woman's life 341 00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:54,050 S1: through gender confusion, reassignment surgery, and detransitioning. Now, as your 342 00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:56,609 S1: athletic prowess is just growing and growing and growing to 343 00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:58,610 S1: the point where you are going to spend years as 344 00:17:58,609 --> 00:18:03,410 S1: a professional women's hockey player, you're having success on the rink, 345 00:18:03,570 --> 00:18:06,369 S1: but I want to know what's going on in your life. Personally, 346 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,690 S1: if I were to ask you, what do you think 347 00:18:08,970 --> 00:18:12,090 S1: you felt first and feel is the operative word here? 348 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,770 S1: Because this is about emotions. Did you feel same sex 349 00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:17,930 S1: attracted or did you experience and we'll use the word 350 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,250 S1: gender dysphoria. Did you feel like you were trapped in 351 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:21,889 S1: the wrong body? Which came first? 352 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,969 S7: I think gender dysphoria for me came at such a 353 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:28,050 S7: young age, just realizing that I wasn't a boy and 354 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:33,070 S7: I was different from, you know, girls. Um, that recollection 355 00:18:33,109 --> 00:18:35,950 S7: of being, you know, asked to change in a different 356 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,150 S7: dressing room and thinking to myself, why can't I just 357 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:42,950 S7: be normal like the other boys? Um, isn't something that 358 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:46,949 S7: every girl feels. Um, and then just being labeled a 359 00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:50,190 S7: tomboy at such a young age, being athletic, getting along 360 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:54,350 S7: with boys, uh, you know, um, all throughout my life. 361 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:58,870 S7: And then, um, realizing in my teens that I'm actually 362 00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:00,669 S7: attracted to the same sex. 363 00:19:01,109 --> 00:19:03,950 S1: But that wasn't until your teens, but the dysphoria was 364 00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:05,110 S1: much earlier than that. 365 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:09,390 S7: Yeah. It was. I didn't realize that. Um, you know, 366 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:13,990 S7: I would want more of a friendship relationship with girls 367 00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:18,109 S7: that I knew. Um, and it happened in youth youth 368 00:19:18,109 --> 00:19:22,430 S7: group actually at the age of like 14 where most 369 00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:26,030 S7: girls were telling me, you know, hey, we're attracted to 370 00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:29,869 S7: this boy and the opposite sex. And I had this 371 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,680 S7: close friend at youth group and at church that I. 372 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,760 S7: I just realized, no, like I'm not attracted to the 373 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,840 S7: opposite sex. I'm actually attracted to this girl. And I 374 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,200 S7: just felt so much guilt and so much shame for that. 375 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,040 S7: So I would say that they both played a role 376 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,399 S7: in my life at a young age. But really noticing 377 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,440 S7: as you hit puberty in my teens that I was 378 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,800 S7: different and I was experiencing same sex attraction. 379 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,760 S1: Wow. You touched on something, Kyla. And it's a reminder 380 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,040 S1: of out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. 381 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,920 S1: You accepted Christ as your Savior as a young girl. 382 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,920 S1: So just like Paul, this internal struggle of yours must 383 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,000 S1: have been intensive because on one level you knew that 384 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:15,000 S1: being attracted somehow couldn't be in alignment with God's Word, 385 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,679 S1: because we knew that marriage was one man and one woman, 386 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,639 S1: and that sexual expression was to be relegated to the 387 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,840 S1: marriage bed in that definition is God gave us. So 388 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,360 S1: how did you deal with that? Because you may have 389 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,920 S1: had those feelings, but at the same time, you must 390 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,620 S1: have had a £200 weight on your back dealing with 391 00:20:31,619 --> 00:20:32,660 S1: this at the same time. 392 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:37,460 S7: Absolutely. And I did feel the weight of my feelings 393 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:41,180 S7: towards a friend of the same sex. Um, I just 394 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:44,740 S7: noticed that there was a huge difference between me and 395 00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:48,780 S7: other people, uh, in the in line with they liked 396 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:51,740 S7: the opposite sex. I was attracted to the same sex. 397 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,820 S7: And growing up, we didn't have a lot of conversation 398 00:20:54,820 --> 00:21:00,020 S7: in the 90s about sexuality or gender. Not like we 399 00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:05,379 S7: have today. And so I had heard about homosexuality through, uh, 400 00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:09,260 S7: being involved in the church, and I concluded that something 401 00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:12,860 S7: must be deeply wrong with me if I'm feeling if 402 00:21:12,859 --> 00:21:16,180 S7: I'm having these feelings and thoughts that are contrary to 403 00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:20,060 S7: what I believe is God's design for us as male 404 00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:24,580 S7: and female and sex and marriage. And so I, I did, 405 00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:29,430 S7: I suppressed it again because I felt that if anyone 406 00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:33,270 S7: knew my secret that no one would want to be 407 00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:35,670 S7: my friend, and they would kindly ask me to leave 408 00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:38,190 S7: the church forever. And so that was a big fear 409 00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:38,790 S7: of mine. 410 00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:41,990 S1: Yeah. What an uncomfortable place to be. Did you ever 411 00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:44,149 S1: feel that you could talk to a pastor at church 412 00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,149 S1: about these struggles? 413 00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:49,869 S7: Yeah. I mean, I loved our pastor. Uh, he ended 414 00:21:49,869 --> 00:21:53,350 S7: up counseling me later down in my story, along in 415 00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:58,629 S7: my story. Uh, but I did feel comfortable talking with him. 416 00:21:58,910 --> 00:22:02,350 S7: We just didn't talk about deep things. And I think 417 00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:05,910 S7: that was a, um, you know, that was something that 418 00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:10,230 S7: happened in the 90s, mid 90s. We, we, as long 419 00:22:10,230 --> 00:22:13,149 S7: as I learned from my parents that as long as 420 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:16,070 S7: we look good on the outside, then no one needs 421 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:18,990 S7: to know what's going on in the inside. And so 422 00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:22,350 S7: I kind of embraced that as the model for being 423 00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:26,350 S7: a Christian. I must hide these things that are wrong 424 00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:31,689 S7: and bad and and contrary to God's design and pretend 425 00:22:31,690 --> 00:22:34,250 S7: like everything's great. And that's how I kind of lived 426 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,450 S7: my teenage life. 427 00:22:35,890 --> 00:22:39,210 S1: How exhausting, how exhausting. What did you think about your 428 00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:41,370 S1: relationship with the Lord when you were going through this? 429 00:22:42,170 --> 00:22:44,609 S7: Yeah, even in my teens, I remember being so in 430 00:22:44,609 --> 00:22:47,450 S7: love with him. Like, I share in this my book 431 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,250 S7: that I would go to school, which was a public school, 432 00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,930 S7: and I'd ask my teacher, you know, to get up 433 00:22:52,930 --> 00:22:56,290 S7: in class. This was more like pre-teen time for me. 434 00:22:56,290 --> 00:22:58,730 S7: And I would ask if I could sing Christian songs 435 00:22:58,730 --> 00:23:02,970 S7: and tell people about Jesus. So I really did love Jesus. 436 00:23:02,970 --> 00:23:06,010 S7: And what I see now that I didn't see then 437 00:23:06,050 --> 00:23:09,730 S7: is I had a distorted view of God's character and 438 00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:12,810 S7: the gospel itself. I thought that I had to clean 439 00:23:12,810 --> 00:23:17,610 S7: myself up and not feel same sex attraction or gender dysphoria, 440 00:23:17,609 --> 00:23:20,810 S7: or any of those things before I could have a 441 00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:22,210 S7: relationship with God. 442 00:23:23,210 --> 00:23:26,110 S1: Oh, let me linger on that because that is such wisdom, 443 00:23:26,670 --> 00:23:29,389 S1: especially as people are listening right now who think the 444 00:23:29,390 --> 00:23:31,910 S1: exact same thing. And what is it about our thinking? 445 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:33,909 S1: There's nothing in Scripture that says, I'll only take the 446 00:23:33,910 --> 00:23:36,910 S1: people who are all cleaned up. We're invited to come 447 00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:40,710 S1: broken to him just as we are, and he's the 448 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:42,790 S1: one who puts broken people back together. Where do you 449 00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:44,990 S1: think we got this crazy idea that somehow we had 450 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:47,190 S1: to be all cleaned up before we could come to Christ? 451 00:23:47,550 --> 00:23:49,709 S7: I think it goes back to the garden when we 452 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:55,150 S7: look at, uh, you know, the, um, the serpent that tested, um, 453 00:23:55,470 --> 00:23:58,350 S7: and lied to Adam and Eve and what did they 454 00:23:58,350 --> 00:24:00,909 S7: do when they knew that they were naked? They hid. 455 00:24:01,310 --> 00:24:02,990 S7: And I think it's the same for us. We want 456 00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:06,389 S7: to hide in our guilt and shame and our problems 457 00:24:06,390 --> 00:24:08,870 S7: and not bring it to God, who is loving and 458 00:24:08,869 --> 00:24:10,750 S7: caring and is there for us. 459 00:24:10,790 --> 00:24:14,310 S1: Oh. Amen. That is such wise counsel. Kyla, when we 460 00:24:14,350 --> 00:24:16,750 S1: come back, and again, I want you to understand every 461 00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:20,310 S1: single page of transformed, written by Kylie Gillespie, is riveting. 462 00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:23,600 S1: Just in due deference to time, I'm taking giant steps 463 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,520 S1: forward in her journey. When we come back, let's get 464 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,640 S1: to that point where you make that decision to say, 465 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,200 S1: I'm all in. I'm going to change everything. I'm going 466 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,000 S1: to have top surgery, I'm going to have bottom surgery. 467 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,240 S1: I'm going the full nine yards. I'm changing my name. 468 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,560 S1: I'm going to start with the hormones. What is that 469 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:53,880 S1: experience like? More after this. Let me give a big 470 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,960 S1: shout out to our partial partners. Thank you friends. Partial 471 00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:00,120 S1: partners are becoming the backbone of this ministry. They're generous. 472 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,760 S1: Monthly gifts allow us to provide relevant, compelling programming every day. 473 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,320 S1: When you become a partial partner, you'll receive private emails 474 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,240 S1: directly from me, a weekly audio message only you will hear, 475 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,919 S1: and special behind the scenes updates as well. Become a 476 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,840 S1: partial partner today by calling eight seven, seven Janet 58 477 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:19,679 S1: or go to in the market with Janet Parshall. Kayla 478 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,459 S1: Gillespie is the founder of renewed and transformed ministry. She's 479 00:25:23,460 --> 00:25:26,940 S1: a podcaster and international speaker, inspired to share her own 480 00:25:26,980 --> 00:25:30,620 S1: experience with same sex attraction and gender dysphoria so that 481 00:25:30,619 --> 00:25:34,580 S1: others might encounter Christ and experience his power and hope 482 00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:37,980 S1: in their lives. She's the author of the book, Transformed 483 00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:40,660 S1: the Power of God's Word and God's People in one 484 00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:45,419 S1: woman's journey through gender confusion, reassignment surgery, and detransitioning. Kyle, 485 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:47,740 S1: I cannot believe that we're halfway through our time together. 486 00:25:47,740 --> 00:25:49,619 S1: I feel like I've just barely scratched the surface of 487 00:25:49,619 --> 00:25:51,899 S1: your story. So let me just jump to the point 488 00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,940 S1: that in the meantime, you're having this unbelievable success as 489 00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:57,900 S1: a professional hockey player, a female hockey player. You've got 490 00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:00,620 S1: a series of different relationships with girls. At one point 491 00:26:00,619 --> 00:26:03,100 S1: in your life, you've been engaged to a girl, but 492 00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:05,179 S1: at some point you decided that you were going to 493 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:08,060 S1: take the plunge and you were going to completely transition 494 00:26:08,060 --> 00:26:10,419 S1: to a man by the name of Bryson, and you 495 00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:12,740 S1: have to go through a series of steps, the hormones, 496 00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:15,980 S1: a hysterectomy, top surgery, and you were very close to 497 00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:19,340 S1: getting bottom surgery as well. And that did not happen. 498 00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:22,310 S1: So from my friends listening because what I. The reason 499 00:26:22,310 --> 00:26:25,150 S1: these conversations are so important is because not only do 500 00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:28,270 S1: they reveal the heart of God and His precious character, 501 00:26:28,270 --> 00:26:30,470 S1: but it teaches us to have a heart like his, 502 00:26:30,470 --> 00:26:33,230 S1: that rather than point a finger that we would understand 503 00:26:33,230 --> 00:26:36,310 S1: that there's always heartbreak in these situations. And if we 504 00:26:36,310 --> 00:26:38,550 S1: don't see that, we don't have a heart like his. 505 00:26:38,910 --> 00:26:42,390 S1: So talk to me as best you can about making 506 00:26:42,390 --> 00:26:45,150 S1: those decisions along the way. And while all the while 507 00:26:45,150 --> 00:26:47,670 S1: you're thinking, if I can just change how I look 508 00:26:47,670 --> 00:26:50,070 S1: on the outside, I'm going to feel better about who 509 00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:51,430 S1: I am on the inside. 510 00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:56,830 S7: Yeah, it was, um, a lot of just fighting with 511 00:26:56,830 --> 00:27:01,990 S7: myself and I had already, you know, let God go. 512 00:27:02,109 --> 00:27:04,790 S7: I wasn't following Christ. I came out as gay when 513 00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:07,429 S7: I was 23. And that was a really rough, a 514 00:27:07,470 --> 00:27:10,430 S7: real rustle in my life. Um, and then to this 515 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:14,550 S7: point where I was playing professional hockey, women's hockey, I 516 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:17,470 S7: had my own high performance business. I was managing a 517 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:21,409 S7: sports store. Everything looked good on the outside. However, I 518 00:27:21,810 --> 00:27:26,449 S7: was an alcoholic and I was really desperate to get help. 519 00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:31,890 S7: And that's when my pastor growing up actually moved to Vancouver, BC, 520 00:27:31,930 --> 00:27:35,250 S7: where I was going up to then play on a 521 00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:39,410 S7: professional women's team there. And so I had been wrestling 522 00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:44,130 S7: with alcoholism for about 11 years, and I finally came 523 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:47,770 S7: to a place of surrender in that moment and, and 524 00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:50,330 S7: just said, okay, like, I want to get help. He, 525 00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:53,850 S7: he was involved with the local recovery houses. The church 526 00:27:53,850 --> 00:27:58,450 S7: was in the tri city area. And, um, so he 527 00:27:58,450 --> 00:28:00,689 S7: put me in touch with a woman and we started 528 00:28:00,690 --> 00:28:02,610 S7: to talk and I told him that I was going 529 00:28:02,650 --> 00:28:06,609 S7: to transition fully to male and changed my name at 530 00:28:06,650 --> 00:28:11,090 S7: that point. And so it wasn't like the decision was, 531 00:28:11,570 --> 00:28:14,050 S7: you know, it was well thought of. I had met 532 00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:17,630 S7: trans people. It had gone on for years and years 533 00:28:17,630 --> 00:28:21,790 S7: of me struggling and wrestling and just being unhappy with 534 00:28:21,790 --> 00:28:26,030 S7: my body, really loathing my chest and body parts. And, 535 00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:29,030 S7: and so I was all in and I did, I 536 00:28:29,030 --> 00:28:32,429 S7: ended up changing my name to Bryson, getting on testosterone 537 00:28:32,430 --> 00:28:35,830 S7: and within a few years having some surgeries. And I 538 00:28:35,830 --> 00:28:39,590 S7: thought that that would be the pinnacle of my transition, 539 00:28:39,590 --> 00:28:42,590 S7: that once I changed my name, got on testosterone, had 540 00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:47,230 S7: some surgeries, then I would feel complete. But unfortunately that 541 00:28:47,230 --> 00:28:51,150 S7: never came. I actually felt you talk about this hole 542 00:28:51,150 --> 00:28:55,030 S7: in your soul, in your heart that only God can fill. Well, 543 00:28:55,030 --> 00:28:58,510 S7: that I was trying to stuff with all these things 544 00:28:58,510 --> 00:29:02,590 S7: that just didn't work. And, um, I thought the transition 545 00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:04,430 S7: would satisfy and it did not. 546 00:29:05,270 --> 00:29:08,390 S1: Well, the other thing you write about so powerfully in 547 00:29:08,390 --> 00:29:12,190 S1: your story, Kayla, is what it's like the physical assaults 548 00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:15,470 S1: on your body, the rough surgeries, the recovery time, the 549 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,880 S1: changes when you're going through hormones. I mean, all of 550 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,400 S1: that is brutal. So you have to push through this 551 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,360 S1: pain thinking that if I can just get to the 552 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,080 S1: other side of this and you're an athlete, so you 553 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,000 S1: know something about endurance and perseverance and you can push 554 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,440 S1: through pain, but you probably thought, if I can just 555 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,480 S1: get to the other side, things will get better. And 556 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,000 S1: you'd get to the other side of these procedures. You. Right. 557 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,360 S1: And you weren't any better. It didn't solve anything. So 558 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,240 S1: move another giant step forward. And tell me about Jess 559 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,160 S1: and BJ, how they come into your life and how 560 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,400 S1: things began to change. 561 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,280 S7: Yeah, I was five and a half years into my 562 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,800 S7: transition past as male, had a beard, had some surgeries, 563 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,520 S7: like I explained, and I was living as Bryson male 564 00:29:55,760 --> 00:30:00,200 S7: and no one really knew the recovery. Um, you know, 565 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:04,480 S7: program was small and people knew, but they had moved 566 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,240 S7: on in five and a half years to different places. 567 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,160 S7: And so I was kind of living with the LGBTQ 568 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,540 S7: plus community says a stealth life. I just wanted to 569 00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:17,860 S7: fit in without anyone bugging me. Um, and I just 570 00:30:17,860 --> 00:30:22,020 S7: wanted to live as as male, as Bryson. And, and 571 00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:25,180 S7: so I was going to this ministry that in the 572 00:30:25,180 --> 00:30:28,180 S7: recovery home, it was mandatory for us to go to. 573 00:30:28,220 --> 00:30:30,180 S7: It was called God Rock and we went there on 574 00:30:30,180 --> 00:30:37,580 S7: Saturday nights. And the ministry itself was amazing, loving, accepting. Um, 575 00:30:37,580 --> 00:30:40,340 S7: but Jess and BJ had taken over about five and 576 00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:44,660 S7: a half years into my transition. Uh, my transition and 577 00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:46,860 S7: I started to get to know them. They started to 578 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:50,020 S7: open up the word of God, have community groups, and 579 00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:53,140 S7: we started to do life together. But here I had 580 00:30:53,140 --> 00:30:57,580 S7: this deep, dark secret, um, of living as a woman 581 00:30:57,580 --> 00:31:00,860 S7: for more than 31 years and playing professional hockey. And 582 00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:04,380 S7: then five and a half years as transitioned and living 583 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:08,420 S7: as male and Bryson. It wasn't until they started to 584 00:31:08,460 --> 00:31:13,550 S7: be vulnerable with me that I thought, man, I think 585 00:31:13,550 --> 00:31:15,790 S7: I need to tell these guys my story. 586 00:31:17,830 --> 00:31:19,270 S1: So what was that like? 587 00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:24,710 S7: It was difficult because one, I didn't trust Christians. Uh, 588 00:31:24,710 --> 00:31:28,510 S7: growing up in a Christian home and seeing the politics of, uh, 589 00:31:28,630 --> 00:31:30,790 S7: the church that I went to and just how they 590 00:31:30,790 --> 00:31:33,790 S7: treated my mom in the divorce. I was, I was 591 00:31:33,790 --> 00:31:37,590 S7: hesitant and I also had abandonment issues from my father. 592 00:31:37,590 --> 00:31:42,190 S7: And so I had really, uh, big walls up and 593 00:31:42,190 --> 00:31:45,870 S7: they were breaking them down because every single week and 594 00:31:45,870 --> 00:31:49,790 S7: every midweek that we met and we did coffees together. 595 00:31:50,190 --> 00:31:54,150 S7: They loved Jesus more than themselves. And I could see 596 00:31:54,150 --> 00:31:59,430 S7: this walked out so their words matched their actions. And 597 00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:02,270 S7: over time, all I kept seeing is these people that 598 00:32:02,270 --> 00:32:05,790 S7: loved Jesus more than themselves. But here's the thing. I 599 00:32:05,790 --> 00:32:09,469 S7: could see the peace and the joy and the happiness 600 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:13,650 S7: that they had found in Christ, and I wanted that. 601 00:32:15,090 --> 00:32:17,730 S1: You know, when you write about your relationship with DJ 602 00:32:17,730 --> 00:32:20,650 S1: and Jess throughout the book, what I was so tuned 603 00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:23,970 S1: into was the fact that they never deviated from God's truth. 604 00:32:23,970 --> 00:32:26,930 S1: But oh boy, did they love you unconditionally. How did 605 00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:27,810 S1: you deal with that? 606 00:32:28,410 --> 00:32:33,090 S7: Yeah, at first it was overwhelming. Um, I unfortunately, with 607 00:32:33,090 --> 00:32:36,450 S7: my brokenness and abandonment of my father, I tested them 608 00:32:36,450 --> 00:32:38,850 S7: to see if they would stick around. You know, when 609 00:32:38,850 --> 00:32:43,690 S7: you're hurt, you hurt people. And so I would withdraw from, like, 610 00:32:43,730 --> 00:32:46,490 S7: group just to see if they cared. And they always 611 00:32:46,490 --> 00:32:48,650 S7: knew where I lived. So they would come and find me. 612 00:32:48,650 --> 00:32:52,010 S7: They would call and text. Yes. They just proved over 613 00:32:52,010 --> 00:32:55,210 S7: and over and over again that they and they said 614 00:32:55,210 --> 00:32:59,290 S7: this out of their mouth, like, we're not going anywhere. Bryson. 615 00:32:59,730 --> 00:33:02,209 S7: If you want to walk this out with the authority 616 00:33:02,210 --> 00:33:05,050 S7: of the Bible being our guide to how we live 617 00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:09,810 S7: our lives, then we're all in and we're not going anywhere. 618 00:33:09,870 --> 00:33:15,150 S7: And so, weirdly, I said with no idea of what 619 00:33:15,190 --> 00:33:20,990 S7: Detransition even was. It wasn't popular in 2016 or 17. Um, 620 00:33:21,470 --> 00:33:24,310 S7: I just said yes. And now I look back and 621 00:33:24,310 --> 00:33:27,830 S7: it's the Holy Spirit, you know, wooing me and calling 622 00:33:27,830 --> 00:33:31,709 S7: me to himself. And, uh, yeah, they just kept loving 623 00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:35,510 S7: me in the mess. We didn't just talk about sexuality 624 00:33:35,510 --> 00:33:39,710 S7: or gender 24 over seven. We would laugh together, eat together, 625 00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:42,470 S7: pray together. We would do life together. 626 00:33:43,710 --> 00:33:46,150 S1: You know? And I want our friends to underscore this. 627 00:33:46,470 --> 00:33:49,510 S1: You met them as Bryson, not as Kyla. You met 628 00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:52,590 S1: them as Bryson. So you had facial hair. You looked 629 00:33:52,590 --> 00:33:55,150 S1: and dressed like a man. And when you told them 630 00:33:55,150 --> 00:33:57,710 S1: that you were born a woman. But now you were 631 00:33:57,830 --> 00:34:00,630 S1: transitioning to a male. Did I read that right? Did 632 00:34:00,630 --> 00:34:02,790 S1: they not say to you. Kyla, we love you even 633 00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,390 S1: more now. 634 00:34:04,270 --> 00:34:08,680 S7: That's true. They did. Uh, BJ and Jess were emotional 635 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,200 S7: and I was emotional as I'm pouring the recesses of 636 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,839 S7: my heart out to them. Uh, one I didn't think 637 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,440 S7: I would tell Christians, but the other is I had 638 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,080 S7: a hard time talking to a man in that way. Uh, 639 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:24,720 S7: but BJ, you know, said Bryson, we love you even more. 640 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,800 S7: And I asked him later what he meant by that. 641 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,240 S7: He didn't mean he affirmed everything that I was doing 642 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,279 S7: or the way that I was living my life. I 643 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,719 S7: knew that they held to a historical Christian view on 644 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,160 S7: sex and marriage. Um, but they were all in. And 645 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:42,040 S7: he said, it's actually your vulnerability that allows us to 646 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,279 S7: love you deeper. And so that's what he meant by it. 647 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,319 S7: Not that he agreed or affirmed everything, but that now 648 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,360 S7: we could start talking about real life. 649 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,880 S1: Wow. And so this whole idea of detransitioning comes up. 650 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,960 S1: When they brought that up, that really had to rock 651 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,040 S1: you to your core in so many ways, Carla, because 652 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,080 S1: you thought your identity now was Bryson as a man 653 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,379 S1: and everything that you'd been struggling with from an early 654 00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:10,500 S1: age on including your abandonment issues. We're going to be 655 00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,700 S1: rectified by now living a life as a man. But 656 00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:14,620 S1: all of a sudden, this idea is given to you 657 00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:17,020 S1: that you could turn everything around and go back to 658 00:35:17,060 --> 00:35:19,620 S1: who God made you to be. And that's a small decision. 659 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:22,140 S1: That's a monstrously huge decision. How did you begin to 660 00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:22,900 S1: approach that? 661 00:35:23,180 --> 00:35:26,420 S7: Yeah. So I started to open up scripture. We started 662 00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:29,700 S7: to talk about like God's design and sexuality. Now, I 663 00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,779 S7: was raised in the Christian home, so I knew a 664 00:35:31,780 --> 00:35:34,779 S7: lot of the Bible. Um, but I was in a 665 00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:38,140 S7: lot of denial. Like when I came into recovery, it was, okay, God, 666 00:35:38,140 --> 00:35:41,819 S7: you can take this, my alcoholism, that life, but I'm 667 00:35:41,820 --> 00:35:44,580 S7: not going to give you my gender or my sexuality. 668 00:35:44,739 --> 00:35:47,180 S7: But as I started to walk with these people and 669 00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,620 S7: they started to love me in the mess, I started 670 00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:53,660 S7: to wrestle through scripture. We talk about like the Scripture 671 00:35:53,660 --> 00:35:57,380 S7: has the power to transform our minds. It was starting 672 00:35:57,380 --> 00:36:02,260 S7: to do that. And so we just, you know, talked 673 00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:06,839 S7: a lot about sexuality, identity, relationships, what it looks like 674 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,080 S7: to be a disciple of Jesus. What is God actually 675 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:15,000 S7: asking us to do as Christians? And that started to, um, 676 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,520 S7: prepare us for what I thought would never come because 677 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,719 S7: it wasn't even on my radar. And that was a detransition. 678 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,640 S1: And boy, did it come at a big way. Kylie 679 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,480 S1: Gillespie is with us. Her book is called Transformed The 680 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,960 S1: Power of God's Word and God's People and One Woman's 681 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:33,960 S1: Journey through Gender confusion, reassignment surgery, and Detransitioning. I'm so 682 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,960 S1: glad I have a little more time with Kyla because 683 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,400 S1: there's oh so much more to her story back after this. 684 00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:00,719 S1: In her book transformed, Kyla Gillespie writes this. They're on 685 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,080 S1: my bedroom floor. I heard God speak into my heart 686 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,330 S1: so clearly and I will never forget it. He said, 687 00:37:05,690 --> 00:37:11,169 S1: my child, my daughter Kyla, I created you beautifully and wonderfully. 688 00:37:11,489 --> 00:37:14,210 S1: I designed you with purpose and with plans. He was 689 00:37:14,210 --> 00:37:17,649 S1: bringing Psalm 139 to life right before my eyes. No 690 00:37:17,650 --> 00:37:20,290 S1: matter how much you've tried to change or run from me, 691 00:37:20,290 --> 00:37:23,129 S1: I have always been right beside you. I knew from 692 00:37:23,130 --> 00:37:25,170 S1: childhood and in fact, all through my life that he 693 00:37:25,170 --> 00:37:28,210 S1: had shown himself faithful and even in my rebellion. He 694 00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:31,290 S1: had never stopped revealing himself to me from the small 695 00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:34,210 S1: deposits he made in my heart as a child in church, 696 00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:37,089 S1: to leading me to his people in a million different ways, 697 00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:39,370 S1: to giving me the faith to follow him, to bringing 698 00:37:39,370 --> 00:37:41,730 S1: the church straight to me instead of waiting for me 699 00:37:41,730 --> 00:37:44,250 S1: to go to them. He had been moving toward me 700 00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:46,930 S1: the whole time. I was a pool on the floor, 701 00:37:47,130 --> 00:37:49,250 S1: and I asked him again, so what do you want 702 00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:52,850 S1: me to do? And he answered me, returned to me. Kyla. 703 00:37:53,570 --> 00:37:56,650 S1: Hard to read that. That was such an impactful Damascus 704 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,930 S1: Road experience, if I can put it that way. Kyla, 705 00:37:58,969 --> 00:38:01,130 S1: you had BJ, you had Jess, you had the support 706 00:38:01,130 --> 00:38:03,390 S1: of family and friends, but you needed to have that 707 00:38:03,390 --> 00:38:07,350 S1: encounter with Jesus. And you did. And after that, things 708 00:38:07,350 --> 00:38:09,710 S1: began to change. I love. I hope I get to. 709 00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:11,589 S1: I know I'm going to see Jess someday because we're 710 00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:14,310 S1: going to spend eternity together, but I love her already. 711 00:38:14,310 --> 00:38:17,629 S1: So she would help you with hair and makeup and 712 00:38:17,630 --> 00:38:19,830 S1: walk you through things. When you'd go shopping. She'd give 713 00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:21,630 S1: you advice like, don't go to the men's section of 714 00:38:21,630 --> 00:38:24,910 S1: the store. I mean, talking about a loving, faithful friend, 715 00:38:24,910 --> 00:38:28,029 S1: it really began to speak into your life. And that's 716 00:38:28,030 --> 00:38:30,629 S1: all the exteriors again. But how were you growing up 717 00:38:30,630 --> 00:38:34,430 S1: and God and recognizing that he loved you and through 718 00:38:34,469 --> 00:38:37,430 S1: his sovereignty made you a woman, a woman he loved? 719 00:38:37,870 --> 00:38:41,430 S7: Yeah. I started to see, you know, and Jess is 720 00:38:41,469 --> 00:38:44,790 S7: an amazing person, an amazing friend. And I'm so grateful 721 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,430 S7: that God placed us on a path to walk life 722 00:38:47,430 --> 00:38:52,590 S7: out together. And, and so God started to show me 723 00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:56,790 S7: that his design for my gender and my sexuality, it 724 00:38:56,790 --> 00:39:00,960 S7: was actually good for me living within the boundaries of 725 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,640 S7: male and female. So I was born a biological female 726 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:08,439 S7: and he had purposes and plans for me. Psalm 139 727 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,280 S7: just took on this form and this shape of like 728 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,240 S7: really piercing my heart and saying, no, like this wasn't 729 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,960 S7: an accident. God didn't create me as a, as a 730 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,959 S7: girl and then said, go transition. That was actually a 731 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,719 S7: lie from straight from the pit of hell. And so 732 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,200 S7: I started to see God's design. I also saw the 733 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:39,120 S7: beauty of godly womanhood and manhood being played out with 734 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,480 S7: BJ and some of the other leaders, and I started 735 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:47,040 S7: to feel like this weight. I couldn't breathe anymore. And 736 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,680 S7: I thought like, I don't think I can do this 737 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,840 S7: as Bryson anymore. And so it just started to radically 738 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:58,480 S7: transform the way that I perceived myself and saw myself. 739 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,340 S7: And to actually put all my trust in God, knowing 740 00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:04,980 S7: he is a good father, knowing he has the best 741 00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:09,020 S7: purposes and plans for me, knowing that I could flourish in, 742 00:40:09,180 --> 00:40:15,020 S7: in his identity and, and, and my God given gender 743 00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:19,900 S7: was something that he wanted me to actually live out 744 00:40:20,260 --> 00:40:23,100 S7: in this world. And I see the calling on my 745 00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:28,340 S7: life now as I get to share and testify and 746 00:40:28,340 --> 00:40:31,460 S7: speak all over the world. And even being on the 747 00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:34,580 S7: radio right now is like, I could have not done 748 00:40:34,580 --> 00:40:39,060 S7: none of this as Bryson as, as a transgender man. 749 00:40:39,300 --> 00:40:41,500 S7: And so I'm just so thankful that he met me, 750 00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:44,299 S7: like I met the living God. And he spoke to 751 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:48,219 S7: me and he called me out of darkness into his light. 752 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:52,939 S1: Wow. Wow. So the outside gets repaired. You switch. No 753 00:40:52,940 --> 00:40:56,260 S1: longer testosterone. Now you're back to estrogen. You get reconstructive 754 00:40:56,260 --> 00:40:59,360 S1: surgery done. So all of that stuff that gets restored 755 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,359 S1: and returned again, but it doesn't end there. Tell me 756 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,520 S1: how God birthed in your life and in your heart. 757 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,520 S1: Renewed and transformed ministries. 758 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,919 S7: Yeah. So I got asked really early on, I was 759 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,920 S7: searching for anyone in my transition that was biblically talking about, um, 760 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,880 S7: you know, the transgender issue or sexuality, same sex attraction. 761 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,560 S7: And I met this couple, um, while I heard of 762 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,880 S7: this couple, they were speaking on this topic and I 763 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,839 S7: reached out to them. They were in Australia and they 764 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,720 S7: mentioned a friend of them, theirs who lived in, uh, 765 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:34,200 S7: the US. And I started to get connected with this 766 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,920 S7: ministry and really early on got asked to come to 767 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:42,000 S7: the US and speak. And so in my detransition, I 768 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,200 S7: had open hands and I said, God, whatever you want 769 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,839 S7: me to do, I am willing to do it. And 770 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,840 S7: I could see the pattern that he kept opening doors 771 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,480 S7: for me to speak, opening doors for me to, uh, 772 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,250 S7: you know, talk about this conversation and God's good design 773 00:41:57,650 --> 00:42:00,810 S7: for us as human beings to flourish. And so I 774 00:42:00,850 --> 00:42:03,969 S7: just continued to walk that out, walk that out. And 775 00:42:03,969 --> 00:42:07,770 S7: then a few years ago, just felt really pressed on 776 00:42:07,770 --> 00:42:10,690 S7: my heart to start a ministry where we can actually 777 00:42:10,690 --> 00:42:14,489 S7: have real conversations. See, I love the church so much, 778 00:42:14,650 --> 00:42:18,210 S7: and I want us to be equipped, uh, with these 779 00:42:18,250 --> 00:42:23,250 S7: kind of, um, conversations and things and, and know, like, 780 00:42:23,570 --> 00:42:28,090 S7: how do we actually love the broken in our communities, 781 00:42:28,090 --> 00:42:31,690 S7: in our family, in our workplaces? Like, how do we 782 00:42:31,690 --> 00:42:34,850 S7: tangibly do that? And so I create, you know, like 783 00:42:34,890 --> 00:42:39,569 S7: God actually called me into this ministry. And, uh, from 784 00:42:39,610 --> 00:42:42,410 S7: there on, I've just been walking that out. It was 785 00:42:42,410 --> 00:42:47,170 S7: honestly just, uh, started a website, kaylar. Com so that 786 00:42:47,170 --> 00:42:49,969 S7: people could reach me if they needed help or if 787 00:42:49,969 --> 00:42:51,450 S7: they had any questions. 788 00:42:51,850 --> 00:42:53,530 S1: What kind of response have you been getting? 789 00:42:54,050 --> 00:42:59,590 S7: Yeah, I get lots of, uh, parents and, uh, church leaders, um, 790 00:42:59,670 --> 00:43:01,750 S7: also people that want me to come speak in their 791 00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:06,029 S7: youth groups or, um, you know, with their leadership at 792 00:43:06,070 --> 00:43:10,469 S7: their church or even congregations sometimes, uh, it's just very 793 00:43:10,469 --> 00:43:13,310 S7: difficult to talk about and they want to know, and 794 00:43:13,310 --> 00:43:15,830 S7: I love this, like we don't want to keep this 795 00:43:15,830 --> 00:43:18,750 S7: under the rug anymore. We want to bring it to light. 796 00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:20,989 S7: We want to talk about the things that you know, 797 00:43:21,030 --> 00:43:24,270 S7: are happening around our, our world and our culture. And 798 00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:27,350 S7: we're not going to shy away from these conversations. 799 00:43:27,350 --> 00:43:28,110 S1: That's my. 800 00:43:28,110 --> 00:43:28,750 S7: Desire. 801 00:43:28,870 --> 00:43:31,509 S1: Oh, and you've been called Kyla for such a time 802 00:43:31,510 --> 00:43:33,750 S1: as this. This is such a pressing issue in the 803 00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:36,430 S1: church right now, and we need a biblical perspective on this. 804 00:43:36,630 --> 00:43:39,830 S1: So in the 45 seconds that I have left, this 805 00:43:39,830 --> 00:43:42,509 S1: all started with your feeling that you didn't know who 806 00:43:42,550 --> 00:43:46,069 S1: you were. How has Christ spoken your identity back into 807 00:43:46,070 --> 00:43:46,750 S1: your life? 808 00:43:47,510 --> 00:43:51,790 S7: Uh, he he's melted away all the fake identity that 809 00:43:51,790 --> 00:43:54,480 S7: I used to cling to. the ones that left me 810 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:59,000 S7: broken and lost even more. And he spoke in his 811 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,880 S7: identity over my life. Um. I am a child of God. 812 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,840 S7: I am a woman of God. And I am going to. 813 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,239 S7: Even if it looks different sometimes than other women, I'm 814 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,040 S7: going to live that out the way that God asks 815 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:14,120 S7: me and calls me to live my womanhood out. 816 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,440 S1: Wow. That's why you hear us say so often. The 817 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:23,399 S1: gospel changes everything and it also changes everyone. Kyla, may 818 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,160 S1: the Lord enlarge your territory with this being such a 819 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:31,200 S1: current hot topic, when people are arguing about pronouns and 820 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:34,799 S1: making demands in schools, and keeping secrets between parents and 821 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,000 S1: students who might be struggling in this area. Oh, how 822 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,399 S1: important is your voice right now? So God has truly 823 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,800 S1: raised you up for such a time as this. You've 824 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,960 S1: given us a very memorable conversation. I thank you for that. 825 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,160 S1: And the Lord bless you as you go forward. See 826 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,160 S1: you next time, friends.