S1: When life gets messy in our relationships seem all tangled up.
S1: How do we get untangled? That's the message today on
S1: bold steps.
S2: We have issues because we're human. We have issues because
S2: we're falling. We have issues because God is still working
S2: in our life. And when you put a bunch of
S2: people with issues together in the same place, our issues
S2: are going to splash over to other people's issues. We
S2: are entangled in ways that do not allow us to
S2: fulfill the purpose that God has for our life.
S1: And welcome to Bold Steps with Mark job. Mark is
S1: president of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Well, we've
S1: all had the frustration of dealing with things that are
S1: tangled in a mess just like that, caught in your
S1: backpack that always finds a way to get tangled up.
S1: But when it comes to our relationships, entanglement can cause frustration.
S1: There's pain, even a losing of our joy. And Mark.
S1: You're going to help us face our issues today and
S1: take some steps to untangle them.
S2: Yeah. We're going to look at two women in the
S2: Bible that are both mentioned just one time. But how
S2: would you like your name to be mentioned in the Bible?
S2: Because you're not getting along. So but the Apostle Paul
S2: speaks to them about untangling the relationship and kind of
S2: guides them through this process. And so if you're listening
S2: right now and you say, you know, I'm not talking
S2: to this person or I'm at odds with this person,
S2: and maybe they're a family member, a believer that you
S2: are just not getting along with. Hey, God wants you
S2: to hear this message today.
S1: Well, let's go ahead and get started now with this
S1: brand new lesson. It's titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace.
S1: Here's Mark.
S2: It happened to me this past weekend. My wife and
S2: I were getting ready for Graduation and she comes up
S2: to me. This is my job. I know it. No
S2: one gave me this job description when we got married,
S2: but I know it's my job now. I'm the untangler
S2: of necklaces. We got a couple minutes to go. We're
S2: in a hurry. And invariably she says to me. Can
S2: you untangle my necklace? And she hands it to me.
S2: And so I grab it, and it's knotted up and
S2: tangled with a bunch of. And I just realized I
S2: have big hands when it comes untangling necklaces. These are small.
S2: And I'm trying to pull it apart. And this. And
S2: she says, is it done? Not yet. Honey, how did this.
S2: I'm wondering, how did these necklaces get so entangled? But,
S2: you know, you throw a bunch of necklaces together. Ladies,
S2: are you looking at me like. Yeah, you throw. How
S2: many of you spend 15 minutes doing it this morning?
S2: You throw a bunch of necklaces together and somehow they
S2: get entangled. It's the very same thing with people. You
S2: throw a bunch of people together in a family, in
S2: a community, at a job, in a neighborhood, and invariably
S2: those relationships get entangled. Some of it's good entanglement. Some
S2: of it's very toxic, unhealthy, bad conflictive relationships. We as
S2: people are complicated. The truth of it is that you
S2: have issues and I have issues. I like to do
S2: this once in a while. Can you tell the person
S2: beside you? Just look at the person beside you and
S2: say you have issues. Hey, are you happy that you're
S2: in a church full of people that have issues? And
S2: some of them looked at you and said, you have
S2: more issues than I have. I could tell right away
S2: by that conversation. But here's the thing. I just want
S2: you to be clear. This is not a church for
S2: perfect people, or it would be empty. This is a
S2: church with people that have issues. We have issues because
S2: we're human. We have issues because we're fallen. We have
S2: issues because God is still working in our life. And
S2: when you put a bunch of people with issues together
S2: in the same place, our issues are going to splash
S2: over to other people's issues. We have insecurities, we have
S2: trust issues, we have brokenness from our past. We have
S2: scars from relationships that maybe disappointed us. We have authority
S2: issues of people that should have been there and were
S2: not there. And so when we get together and try
S2: to work it out in community, we end up with
S2: a lot of entangled messes, whether we are Christian or not. Christian,
S2: we have relationship issues. It was true of us. It
S2: was true of the New Testament as well. It was
S2: true of Jesus and his disciples. Sometimes we I hear
S2: people say, I just wish I could have been with
S2: Jesus and the disciples. They were so spiritual. Yeah, but
S2: they had issues too. The disciples argued about who was
S2: going to be greatest in the kingdom. Judas betrayed Jesus
S2: for 30 pieces of silver. Peter denied Jesus a few times.
S2: They argued about who was going to sit at his
S2: right hand, or who was not going to do it.
S2: Jesus had to rebuke them. Sometimes he had to encourage them,
S2: sometimes because they had issues as well. So to be
S2: human and to be in relationship means that we have
S2: issues and entanglement. And so I want to talk to
S2: you about that, those issues and entanglement today, because I
S2: do believe that sometimes we are entangled in ways that
S2: do not allow us to fulfill the purpose that God
S2: has for our life. Some of you today are stressed out,
S2: are frustrated, are joyless because of your relationship issues. And
S2: I want to talk to you about how to manage those,
S2: how to step into them, how to not avoid them,
S2: but how to step right into them through the principles
S2: given to us in the Word of God. So I'm
S2: going to talk to you about untangling life without losing
S2: your peace. I want to read to you out of
S2: Philippians chapter four. I'm going to begin in verse one
S2: and read to verse three. It says, therefore the apostle Paul,
S2: by the way, is writing to a group of people
S2: in the city of Philippi. If you read acts chapter 16,
S2: it was on Paul's second missionary journey that out of
S2: a prayer meeting of women, they birthed the church. So
S2: this is a young church, uh, full of issues. They're
S2: figuring out what it means to be followers of Jesus,
S2: figuring out what it means to walk in a Christ
S2: like way. Like many of us are in this church
S2: as well. And the Apostle Paul is writing a letter
S2: inspired by the Holy Spirit. By the way, the Apostle
S2: Paul wrote many of the books in the New Testament.
S2: These letters are to churches, often of people that are
S2: coming out of non-Christian lifestyles and trying to figure out
S2: what it means to live for Christ. And so he's
S2: writing to them, and he says in Philippians chapter four
S2: verse one, therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, whom I
S2: love and long for, he was in prison writing to them,
S2: hadn't seen them in a while. My joy and my
S2: crown stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends.
S2: He says, I plead with you and Senshi to be
S2: of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, I ask you,
S2: my true companion, help these women since they have contended
S2: at my side in the cause of the gospel, along
S2: with Clement and the rest of my co-workers whose names
S2: are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always.
S2: And again I say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident
S2: to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious
S2: about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
S2: with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace
S2: of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts
S2: and your minds in Christ Jesus. If you're taking notes,
S2: write this down. Number one, I'm going to talk to
S2: you about four ways of untangling your relationships without losing
S2: your peace. Number one, resolve relational conflict quickly. The apostle
S2: Paul says, I plead with you, Utopia. And some people say, well,
S2: how do you say the second name? Literally the right
S2: right wording of it is soon to gay, soon to gay.
S2: We say sin to chi or however you want to
S2: pronounce it. These are the only times that these ladies
S2: names are mentioned in scripture. This is how not to
S2: be mentioned in the Bible. The only thing we know
S2: is that these two ladies were at odds with each other.
S2: They were fighting with each other. We also know that
S2: they were Christians. We know that they helped start the
S2: church with Paul. We know that they were strongly involved
S2: in ministry with Paul, probably inviting people, opening up their house,
S2: witnessing to people, gathering people, leading Bible studies, doing all
S2: the things that hard workers do that love Jesus. But
S2: yet they had a problem. They just couldn't stand each other.
S2: Yet they love God and their names. It's clearly it
S2: says your names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
S2: We don't know what they were arguing about, but I've
S2: been around enough people long enough to know that usually
S2: it's petty issues. It doesn't tell us that there were
S2: big theological doctrines. It doesn't tell us that this was
S2: about some interpretation of eschatology, the end times. It tells
S2: us that they just couldn't get along. But my experience
S2: with people leads me to believe that it was probably
S2: over something petty. You said you were going to bring
S2: the guacamole to the woman's gathering, and you know what?
S2: You didn't. You brought the chips instead. And I really
S2: wanted you to do that. I brought the chips and
S2: you didn't do that. You are so irresponsible. Oh I'm irresponsible.
S2: You don't know the amount of work that I've put
S2: in and the things that I do and sacrifice. Are
S2: you undermining me? You do work. I do a lot
S2: more work than you do. Last week, we showed up,
S2: and I expected you to be there. And you were
S2: just out praying with someone while I was doing all
S2: the work. Oh, really? So you think all I do
S2: is pray and don't enter the word? Let me tell
S2: you what you do. And they have this conflict. They
S2: have this battle, and suddenly they're not talking to each other.
S2: They're talking to other people about each other. And now
S2: you have a big rift. Does that sound familiar to anybody? Well,
S2: the apostle Paul is saying, hey, these are two great women,
S2: and I want you to understand what he encourages. A
S2: fellow worker. He calls him Yokefellow, but was actually translated
S2: as it's actually his name. He says yes. And I
S2: ask you, loyal You'll yell, follow! Help these women who
S2: have contended at my side for the cause of the gospel.
S2: So basically, what the Apostle Paul says is these women
S2: cannot figure out their relational conflict. So please get a mediator.
S2: Get a mediator. Can I say this? Obviously, these women
S2: had probably tried to talk with each other, solve it
S2: on their own, but they were unable to solve and
S2: resolve their own issues. And so the Apostle Paul, inspired
S2: by the spirit led by the Holy Spirit, says, get
S2: a mediator. There are some of you in this auditorium
S2: today that you have conflict with people that you love.
S2: But you have been unable to resolve the conflict, and
S2: you have too much pride to try to get a mediator.
S2: I believe that your relationship is worth mediation.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Marc Job. We'll continue
S1: today's message in a moment. Marc, there's something I've been
S1: noticing lately that I think many of our listeners are
S1: thinking about with so many voices competing for our attention.
S1: There's social media news cycles, workplace demands. It's easy to
S1: lose sight of what matters eternally. And I find myself
S1: wondering how many Christians today are investing their best resources
S1: in things that won't ultimately last.
S2: You know, Wayne, I remember when my youngest son was
S2: playing football in high school. It was a big game
S2: and I went there. I was cheering him on, and
S2: I got a phone call and I thought, well, let
S2: me pick up this phone call just for a moment.
S2: So I went down and I got on the phone call,
S2: and it was right at that time that my son,
S2: he intercepted a pass. And afterwards he said, dad, did
S2: you see that? And I had to say I missed
S2: miss the moment I was distracted by something and in
S2: the end, it wasn't an urgent phone call. Listen, right
S2: now there's a lot of distraction. The political environment in
S2: our country, there's a drama every day. There's a lot
S2: that's happening internationally. There's wars, there's natural disasters. It feels
S2: like we are just sucked into it. But I want
S2: to say, don't miss the moment. I believe that we
S2: are seeing more people come to Christ at this season
S2: of time, especially under the age of 35, than I
S2: have ever seen in our lifetime. It's happening in Africa
S2: and Europe. It's happening in the United States of America.
S2: We have bold steps, are committed to not get distracted,
S2: but to make sure that we are proclaiming the gospel
S2: of Jesus at a time of uncertainty so that people
S2: can come to know him in this window of opportunity
S2: that we have. So we want to encourage you. Pray.
S2: Don't miss the moment.
S1: Such an important word, Mark. Thank you. And if you
S1: would like to become part of this eternal work today
S1: by visiting us, you can do that at Bold steps.org
S1: and make a gift or call us at 800 Moody.
S1: That's (800) 356-6639. And when you do, we'll send you a
S1: special gift as a way of saying thanks for partnering
S1: with us and sharing God's truth that will last eternally.
S1: More on that later. But let's get back to the
S1: message now. Again, here's Mark Jobe.
S2: Look at me. Married couples. I believe that your marriage
S2: is worth mediation. Look up at me. Men, especially husbands.
S2: Because normally when I talk to married couples. I've had
S2: this conversation dozens and dozens of times. A couple can't
S2: get along. There's barriers that have been lifted up. There's Disagreement.
S2: They've been sleeping as far as they can on the
S2: same bed to the edges. They're not talking to each other.
S2: They're not getting along well. And so they just start
S2: to accept a dysfunctional relationship because they've tried to talk
S2: about it. And when they talk about it, someone clamps down,
S2: someone gets aggressive, someone argues, so they shut down, they
S2: stop talking, and then they say, well, this is just
S2: how we're supposed to live. I guess. She doesn't listen.
S2: He doesn't listen. So we're just going to, I guess,
S2: accept that this is the way it is. And anytime
S2: that they are encouraged to get help, I've had a
S2: lot of conversations with men like this, especially not exclusively.
S2: But I'll say, what about counseling, pastor? We don't need counseling.
S2: She just needs to get her act together. Look up
S2: at me. It is the ultimate arrogance when you can't
S2: solve your issues to believe that no one else can
S2: help you. There are some of you in this auditorium
S2: that need to just humble yourselves a little bit and say,
S2: we need a counselor. We need a mediator. We need
S2: someone to help us navigate this. Just like the Apostle
S2: Paul was telling these women who are good women who
S2: love Jesus, whose names were written in the Lamb's Book
S2: of Life, but they were unwilling to get help. And
S2: he has to include a mediator in there to get
S2: their problems solved. I believe, by the way, that one
S2: of the great challenges that we face is that when
S2: we accept relational contention without trying to get it solved
S2: as quickly as possible. Many of you know that I
S2: grew up in a small town in northern Spain called Rubina.
S2: Everybody in the town knew each other, but I'll never
S2: forget that there was a brother and sister in their
S2: 70s who had not talked to each other for 20 years.
S2: 20 years. Not spoken. Not said hi. Not been eating
S2: each other's birthday parties. Not helped each other out. Not
S2: come together during Mother's Day. Not celebrated Christmas together in
S2: a town of 220 years. Refused to say a word
S2: to each other. Why? At the death of their mother,
S2: there was some argument over inheritance, petty issues, and for
S2: 20 years had refused to speak a word to one another.
S2: You know what? I've been at the funeral of way
S2: too many people. Where someone has their hand on the casket,
S2: they're looking at the body that's laid out, and they
S2: are crying and saying, I wish we would have got
S2: things right. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I
S2: don't know why we fought about this. It was just
S2: so dumb that we didn't talk. And I'm saying, why
S2: are you waiting for the funeral? There are some of
S2: you here right now that don't talk to people that
S2: you should be talking to, that you have no relationship with,
S2: people that you should have relationship with because it's over
S2: something petty. And at the funeral, you will be decrying
S2: the fact that you haven't conversed. I think God is
S2: telling you it's time to deal with it now. Not
S2: at the funeral.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. A message
S1: titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace. We'll continue our
S1: lesson at this time tomorrow. So join us again right here.
S1: But in case you ever want to revisit a previous
S1: message from Mark, or want to share one of these
S1: Bible teachings with a friend, just go to our website.
S1: Bold steps dot on our home page. You'll also see
S1: that we're offering a brand new bold step gift, one
S1: that really speaks to the moms and dads of young boys.
S1: And Mark, let me hand it back to you.
S2: Wayne. We have Jason and Aaron, their authors. They are
S2: married couple and they have written a book called Lies
S2: Boys Believe and the Epic Quest for truth. And great
S2: to have you in the studio with us. And one
S2: of the lies you address in this book is that
S2: following Jesus is boring. And I think that's, well, that's
S2: an important lie. Jesus is anything but boring, isn't it? Uh,
S2: so tell me why you think boys are susceptible to
S2: this particular deception?
S3: Well, a lot of times when boys are introduced to
S3: to faith and to Jesus, it involves a lot of
S3: sitting still, listening to a Bible story. If there is
S3: an activity, a lot of times, at least me growing up,
S3: it was like a flannel board with the story up there. And, uh.
S1: And Moses kept falling off the flannel board in my life. Yeah.
S3: That's right. And, uh, if if our modern boys are
S3: anything like I was, I had a real hard time appreciating, um,
S3: the stories when I had to sit still and be
S3: forced to hold my hands in my lap and, um,
S3: be super well behaved. But what we what we find
S3: in Scripture is that the life of Jesus was anything
S3: but boring. Uh, the things that boys yearn for in
S3: their innermost parts is the adventure of following a leader
S3: and leading other men. And that's exactly what we see
S3: in in the True Stories of Jesus, where he, uh,
S3: he went fishing. And when he was on adventure all
S3: the time, he was, uh, challenging people and encouraging them
S3: and healing them. And, uh, the people who follow Jesus,
S3: the disciples were anything but boring men. Um, they were
S3: very real, very active, very engaged. There were arguments, there
S3: were lots of challenges in their lives. And that's really
S3: part of the adventure that we kind of, I don't know,
S3: whitewash out of Jesus. A lot of times when we're
S3: telling Bible stories to our young men, following him is
S3: anything but boring.
S1: Aaron, I don't know about your four boys, but sometimes
S1: it can be hard to get boys to read. And
S1: I know this book is for parents to use with
S1: their boys. You had that in mind as you wrote
S1: and designed this book, right?
S4: Yeah. It's different. There's actually several books in the live series. Lies.
S4: Women believe lies, men believe lies, Girls believe, which you mentioned.
S4: And this book is very different from the format of those.
S4: And yeah, our boys did not love to read. I
S4: remember being a little girl, and if I had a
S4: free afternoon, I would spend it with a book. That's
S4: not how my boys operate. They want to be outside
S4: playing swords with sticks. So how do we get them
S4: in the content? So we were really intentional. It's a
S4: fiction book. The others are not. They're just straight trade books.
S4: And it follows a dad and his sons on this
S4: big adventure. It actually models a trip that Jason and
S4: our boys have taken. They go out west and they
S4: encounter all kinds of excitement. Um, and there's also things
S4: that happen in the book. They're going to turn the
S4: book all different ways as they're reading it. They're going
S4: to there's things they're supposed to do with the corners
S4: of the book. There's quests they do within the book.
S4: There's cryptograms where they're trying to solve riddles, and none
S4: of that is an attempt to bait and switch them
S4: into the Bible. As Jason said, we think the Bible
S4: is the most exciting book in the world. And so
S4: this is to be in parallel with the Bible. And
S4: what we've heard from parents and boys over and over
S4: again is my boy couldn't put it down, and he
S4: hasn't done that with any other book. And that's because
S4: we intentionally invite him into this story with these other
S4: men and boys that are people they're going to want
S4: to be like, and they're encountering truth all along the way.
S4: And I actually think that models life pretty well. Life
S4: is an adventure, and we are encountering challenges, and Jesus
S4: is with us every step. And so, um, we we
S4: were excited to give it to boys in a format
S4: that we thought they would love, and our boys loved it.
S4: They're fiction readers. Our boys are. We toss a nonfiction
S4: book at them. They might roll their eyes and they
S4: might or might not read it, but a great fiction
S4: story with an epic adventure, they're going to read it.
S4: So we hope this book is that. Yeah.
S2: That's great. Well, there you have it. Jason and Aaron
S2: have written this book specifically for 6 to 12 year
S2: old boys. So if you are a grandparent, a parent,
S2: if you know someone that's raising boys in that category, listen,
S2: this is the book to get into their hands as
S2: soon as possible.
S1: And we'll be happy to send you a copy of
S1: this bold step gift by Jason and Aaron Davis today.
S1: When you give a gift of any amount to support
S1: bold steps. Just give us a call at 800 Moody
S1: or give online at Bold Steps. You can also send
S1: your gift and request the book Lies Boys Believe by
S1: writing to us in the mail. Address your letter to
S1: Bold Steps, 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois. 606 ten
S1: and if you've come to value the bold, Bible based
S1: teaching of this program, but you're not yet part of
S1: the team, I want to invite you to become a
S1: bold partner today. It's easy to sign up and become
S1: an official bold partner. By joining, you'll gain access to
S1: exclusive content from pastor Mark everything from sermon materials to
S1: special videos. Simply go online to become a partner today
S1: and start receiving these valuable resources. Go to Bold Steps
S1: org or give us a call at 800 Moody. Well,
S1: I'm Wayne Shepherd inviting you to listen again tomorrow. And
S1: Mark continues this lesson titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace.
S1: It's coming up Friday on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe.
S1: Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry
S1: of Moody Bible Institute.