WEBVTT - Breaking Generational Curses, the importance of Discipleship, and Building a Father-Daughter Connection 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.360 Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio. 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:08.120 This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.360 Tam Ali, good morning to you. This is Carl and crew. 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:15.520 A quick Carl update. He texted us early this morning 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:17.880 and said he was going to be out of a 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:20.720 connection area. So we were not going to get to 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.239 hear from him today. He's traveling in Burundi for a 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.880 ministry trip. He's going to be doing a pastor's conference there. Uh, 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:29.080 did he share anything else in that text? Just that 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:30.680 he was going to be out of the area? Yeah. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:32.640 Pretty much. Yeah, but he hopes to join us tomorrow. 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.360 Hopes to join us tomorrow with a pastor from that 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:39.160 area in Burundi. So this is a great opportunity for 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:42.839 him to minister. It's part of his mission. His mission. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.240 I'm trying to remember. He quotes it often to inspire 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.600 a spiritual revolution within the church that reaches the world. 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:50.559 Yep. You got it. 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:52.400 That's his personal mission statement. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.360 You know, you spend a lot of time with someone 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.920 when you can quote verbatim their spiritual mission statement. 0:00:59.920 --> 0:01:01.360 That is wild. 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:02.120 It is wild. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.880 Seven and a half years as co-host of the show 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.000 will do that. That is his personal mission and he 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:09.800 lives it out and this is part of it. So 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.800 ministering in East Africa, in Burundi, we got to hear 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:16.600 from him yesterday. He sounded awesome. Hopefully to hear from 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:20.080 him again tomorrow on Freedom Friday. Uh, did you have 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:24.399 a childhood hero growing up? Curious? Anyone that you looked 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.560 up to wanted to be just like a lot of 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.160 times it's in the superhero category, at least for. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:34.440 Wonder Woman was great. Lynda Carter, she was the original, 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:34.919 I think. 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:37.280 I think Batman, for me was a big one. 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:38.160 Okay. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:38.560 Why? 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.039 Why Batman? I feel like he I don't know, I 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:42.640 feel like of the superheroes. 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:46.120 Yeah. I actually liked him a lot because. Because he 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:49.960 didn't have any superpowers. Oh, he didn't have any superpowers, 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:55.000 but he often won whatever he was doing because he 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.920 didn't just rely on being able to fly or or 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:00.690 get shot. Not, you know, not get hurt. He he 0:02:00.690 --> 0:02:04.570 had to also outsmart people for when he wasn't strong 0:02:04.570 --> 0:02:05.889 enough to beat them. 0:02:05.930 --> 0:02:06.850 Well, that goes deep. 0:02:06.970 --> 0:02:08.290 And so cool toys. 0:02:08.330 --> 0:02:09.650 And he has cool gadgets. 0:02:09.930 --> 0:02:10.850 Exactly. Yeah. 0:02:10.889 --> 0:02:13.650 Okay. So he didn't have super powers. I mean, he 0:02:13.650 --> 0:02:14.489 could fly, right? 0:02:14.530 --> 0:02:17.889 No. Uh, he can glide. He had a suit with 0:02:17.930 --> 0:02:20.530 a cape that helped him glide, but he couldn't fly. 0:02:20.530 --> 0:02:22.929 He had zero superpowers. He was just a normal person 0:02:23.250 --> 0:02:26.610 who had a lot of money. Uh, but. But he 0:02:26.610 --> 0:02:28.570 learned how to fight, and and for the people, he 0:02:28.570 --> 0:02:31.850 wasn't strong enough to beat. He had to be smarter than. Wow. 0:02:31.889 --> 0:02:33.450 And I, I really liked that. 0:02:33.490 --> 0:02:33.890 Since. 0:02:33.930 --> 0:02:35.450 I'm learning new stuff. 0:02:35.690 --> 0:02:36.370 Every day. 0:02:36.410 --> 0:02:37.250 And a cool car. 0:02:37.530 --> 0:02:37.850 Cool. 0:02:37.889 --> 0:02:40.090 Well, that's right, I remember the Batmobile. 0:02:40.090 --> 0:02:40.730 Batmobile. 0:02:40.770 --> 0:02:41.170 Yeah. 0:02:41.210 --> 0:02:41.490 Yeah. 0:02:41.530 --> 0:02:44.170 I'm trying to think. What. Okay, so Spider-Man has the 0:02:44.169 --> 0:02:46.730 little web thing that shoots out of his hands. 0:02:46.850 --> 0:02:48.769 He was bit by a spider, which. 0:02:48.850 --> 0:02:50.370 And he could climb walls and. 0:02:50.410 --> 0:02:51.730 Got into his bloodstream. 0:02:51.770 --> 0:02:54.130 What about, um, Superman could fly. 0:02:54.169 --> 0:02:57.130 Superman can fly. He can shoot lasers. He's stronger. 0:02:57.169 --> 0:03:00.010 Got it. See through wall. Have we covered the main ones? 0:03:00.330 --> 0:03:01.010 Spider-Man. 0:03:01.010 --> 0:03:02.209 Superman? Batman. 0:03:02.250 --> 0:03:03.290 Your biggest ones? 0:03:03.610 --> 0:03:07.530 Yeah, you could tell. I do not follow this stuff. 0:03:07.570 --> 0:03:10.930 I can see my. You know, my son. He's 12 now. 0:03:10.930 --> 0:03:14.970 He wasn't really into superheroes as much as he was 0:03:14.970 --> 0:03:17.049 into sports figures. 0:03:17.090 --> 0:03:20.810 I feel like usually it's not not every scenario, because 0:03:20.810 --> 0:03:23.090 now I like superheroes and I like sports, but I 0:03:23.090 --> 0:03:23.650 feel like it's. 0:03:23.650 --> 0:03:24.410 Kind of one or the other. 0:03:24.450 --> 0:03:26.090 You usually kind of go one or the other. If 0:03:26.130 --> 0:03:28.650 you like sports, you're not usually big into superheroes and 0:03:28.650 --> 0:03:29.250 vice versa. 0:03:29.290 --> 0:03:31.489 Yeah. I mean, he had like a he liked Black 0:03:31.490 --> 0:03:32.970 Panther for a little while, but I think it was 0:03:32.970 --> 0:03:35.650 just because he thought the, the, the suit was kind 0:03:35.690 --> 0:03:38.130 of cool. I don't even think he knew anything. Yeah, 0:03:38.330 --> 0:03:42.170 but he was definitely into the sports, the sports heroes. Like, 0:03:42.170 --> 0:03:44.650 I want to be like for for a season of 0:03:44.650 --> 0:03:47.610 his life. It was just like Russell Westbrook, who played 0:03:47.610 --> 0:03:51.250 for the Oklahoma City Thunder. And so every, every day 0:03:51.250 --> 0:03:55.890 for like six months, he would only wear, uh, Oklahoma 0:03:55.890 --> 0:03:58.610 City Thunder jersey. I think it was number zero. And 0:03:58.610 --> 0:04:00.770 then we got him the shorts to match. And then 0:04:00.770 --> 0:04:04.410 we had to have multiple jerseys and multiple shorts because 0:04:04.410 --> 0:04:07.090 who can do laundry every single day so that you 0:04:07.090 --> 0:04:09.690 can repeat this outfit. So then he just had it 0:04:09.690 --> 0:04:13.130 in rotation. Then he started collecting the little NBA men. 0:04:13.170 --> 0:04:16.409 They made these stuffed dolls that were about half the 0:04:16.410 --> 0:04:19.650 size of a teddy bear that looked kind of like 0:04:19.650 --> 0:04:22.410 the NBA players. Emphasis on the kinda. 0:04:22.450 --> 0:04:23.810 Can only do so much when you're trying to make 0:04:23.810 --> 0:04:25.090 a real person stuffed. 0:04:25.370 --> 0:04:28.050 Stuffed animal like that. I don't know. The cool thing 0:04:28.050 --> 0:04:30.610 was we actually got to go to an Oklahoma City 0:04:30.650 --> 0:04:34.050 Thunder game, and he got to meet Russell Westbrook for 0:04:34.050 --> 0:04:35.570 like two seconds. 0:04:35.610 --> 0:04:35.930 Right right. 0:04:35.930 --> 0:04:39.530 Right. But he was only three. And so I'm like 0:04:39.570 --> 0:04:42.570 who gets to meet their childhood hero at three. But 0:04:42.570 --> 0:04:43.970 then they don't remember it. 0:04:43.970 --> 0:04:44.410 That's the. 0:04:44.410 --> 0:04:44.890 Worst. 0:04:45.410 --> 0:04:46.529 He's got a picture though. 0:04:46.570 --> 0:04:50.010 Remember this picture when you got to meet him? You 0:04:50.050 --> 0:04:52.730 got too shy to say anything, and now he doesn't 0:04:52.770 --> 0:04:55.410 remember that it ever happened. But it's cool when you 0:04:55.529 --> 0:04:58.250 have those childhood heroes that you look up to and 0:04:58.250 --> 0:05:02.810 you say, I want to be just like this person. Sometimes, though, 0:05:03.450 --> 0:05:06.369 you do the opposite and say, you know what? I 0:05:06.370 --> 0:05:10.490 know that I don't want to be like that. I'll explain. 0:05:10.490 --> 0:05:11.050 Coming up. 0:05:11.290 --> 0:05:14.010 She was trying to earn her way to God, but 0:05:14.010 --> 0:05:17.529 God showed her she didn't have to. Ali is in 0:05:17.529 --> 0:05:20.890 the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:05:20.930 --> 0:05:24.330 I want to talk today a little bit about the 0:05:24.330 --> 0:05:28.650 most wicked king in Israel's history. I have a reason 0:05:28.650 --> 0:05:30.890 for doing this, but you got to bear with me 0:05:30.890 --> 0:05:33.810 for the the hard stuff before we get to the 0:05:33.850 --> 0:05:36.330 to the the to the good stuff. Okay. It's it's 0:05:36.330 --> 0:05:39.130 important though. I don't know how much you've heard about 0:05:39.130 --> 0:05:43.250 King Manasseh. Did you study him here at Moody Bible Institute? 0:05:43.290 --> 0:05:45.850 Do you ever remember studying about King Manasseh? 0:05:45.890 --> 0:05:48.250 I don't ever remember studying specifically about him, though. 0:05:48.290 --> 0:05:53.930 Well, King Manasseh was 12 years old. 12. Same age 0:05:53.930 --> 0:05:56.340 as my son is currently, which is it's that that 0:05:56.339 --> 0:05:59.340 alone is going. It's hard to imagine a 12 year 0:05:59.380 --> 0:06:02.380 old reigning, but that was not, you know, crazy outside 0:06:02.380 --> 0:06:04.500 the norm at the time, but 12 years old when 0:06:04.500 --> 0:06:08.860 he began, begins to reign. He reigns for 55 years 0:06:08.860 --> 0:06:13.140 in Jerusalem. He did what was evil in the sight 0:06:13.140 --> 0:06:15.979 of the Lord. That's the sum of his life. And 0:06:15.980 --> 0:06:20.580 that is putting it mildly. Let me tell you a 0:06:20.580 --> 0:06:24.100 little bit about some of the things that King Manasseh 0:06:24.100 --> 0:06:28.820 did in Judah. He not only adopted the wicked practices 0:06:28.820 --> 0:06:33.260 of the nations that the Lord had driven out for Israel, 0:06:34.020 --> 0:06:38.940 he actually did even more evil than those evil nations. 0:06:39.740 --> 0:06:44.580 So he took their practices, their idolatry, and he took 0:06:44.580 --> 0:06:45.500 it up a notch. 0:06:45.660 --> 0:06:46.460 Made it worse. 0:06:46.500 --> 0:06:51.540 Made it worse. He rebuilt high places. He built wicked altars. 0:06:51.540 --> 0:06:56.260 He worshipped, worshiped the hosts of the heavens. He burned 0:06:56.300 --> 0:07:01.900 his own son as an offering. He used fortune telling 0:07:02.260 --> 0:07:08.980 and omens and mediums and necromancers. This is really, really 0:07:08.980 --> 0:07:10.100 dark stuff. 0:07:10.340 --> 0:07:10.700 Yeah. 0:07:11.340 --> 0:07:16.420 He shed much innocent blood. This is all described in 0:07:16.700 --> 0:07:21.059 in Second Kings chapter 21. And the thing that made 0:07:21.060 --> 0:07:26.220 this all maybe even worse is because he was the king. 0:07:26.540 --> 0:07:30.940 Not only did he practice all of these things, he 0:07:30.940 --> 0:07:35.900 led the people into sin. You know, leaders are held 0:07:35.900 --> 0:07:39.900 to a higher standard, right? Yes, they are held accountable 0:07:39.900 --> 0:07:43.420 for it because people tend to follow their leader. Right. 0:07:44.140 --> 0:07:50.140 So his establishment of all of these wicked practices led 0:07:50.140 --> 0:07:57.300 Judah into sin. Pretty dark period of time. I set 0:07:57.300 --> 0:08:01.420 this up because I want you to think about this statement, 0:08:02.900 --> 0:08:05.460 and I'm going to say it two different ways. I 0:08:05.460 --> 0:08:09.420 want to see if you can catch the difference. You know, 0:08:09.460 --> 0:08:12.380 if there's a little kid running around or maybe a 0:08:12.380 --> 0:08:15.620 teenager and someone looks at them with a smile and says, ah, 0:08:15.860 --> 0:08:19.780 you're just like your dad. Let me change the voice 0:08:19.780 --> 0:08:22.740 a little bit. Think about that same teenager. Someone looks 0:08:22.740 --> 0:08:25.940 at them with maybe a slightly different intonation in their voice, 0:08:26.900 --> 0:08:31.540 slightly different expression, and says, you're just like your dad. 0:08:33.100 --> 0:08:34.260 Catch the difference? 0:08:34.460 --> 0:08:34.980 Oh, yeah. 0:08:35.020 --> 0:08:36.020 Oh, totally. 0:08:36.059 --> 0:08:37.059 It's quite a difference. 0:08:37.380 --> 0:08:39.260 Coming up. Let's talk about it. 0:08:39.660 --> 0:08:43.500 He was running from God, but God's love brought him home. 0:08:43.700 --> 0:08:47.580 Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on 0:08:47.580 --> 0:08:48.620 Moody Radio. 0:08:49.020 --> 0:08:54.180 I just described A really dark period in Israel's history. 0:08:54.220 --> 0:08:58.900 King Manasseh was the most wicked kings. His deeds were 0:08:58.900 --> 0:09:04.660 so horrific. So. Flew in the face of everything that 0:09:04.660 --> 0:09:07.620 God had instructed them to do. He did the opposite 0:09:07.620 --> 0:09:11.699 and then some. He adopted the practices of the wicked 0:09:11.700 --> 0:09:15.220 nations that the Lord had driven out for Israel. And 0:09:15.220 --> 0:09:18.700 then he took it up a notch. So then he 0:09:18.700 --> 0:09:24.780 has a son, Amon, who becomes king. Amon became king, 0:09:24.780 --> 0:09:27.860 started his reign at age 22. And I want to 0:09:27.860 --> 0:09:30.260 read to you what was said about him in second 0:09:30.260 --> 0:09:34.939 Kings 21, verse 21. He walked in all the way 0:09:35.179 --> 0:09:38.459 in which his father walked and served the idols that 0:09:38.460 --> 0:09:41.980 his father served and worshiped them. In other words, he 0:09:41.980 --> 0:09:44.300 was just like his dad. 0:09:44.580 --> 0:09:44.980 Yeah. 0:09:45.340 --> 0:09:48.939 Just like his dad. The reign of those two kings 0:09:48.940 --> 0:09:53.829 combined resulted in ultimately in Israel being taken into captivity 0:09:53.830 --> 0:10:01.950 in Babylon. Then Ammon has a son named Josiah. And 0:10:01.950 --> 0:10:08.830 Josiah has a decision to make. Will Josiah be just 0:10:08.830 --> 0:10:14.470 like his dad? And just like his grandfather, Josiah decides 0:10:14.470 --> 0:10:18.590 to go a different way. He was eight years old 0:10:18.590 --> 0:10:22.150 when he begins to reign. He reigns for 31 years 0:10:22.150 --> 0:10:27.150 in Jerusalem. And Josiah did what was right in the 0:10:27.150 --> 0:10:29.470 eyes of the Lord. That's what said of him in 0:10:29.470 --> 0:10:33.230 22 verse two. And it's interesting how the the life 0:10:33.230 --> 0:10:37.150 of these kings is usually summed up in, in, in 0:10:37.150 --> 0:10:40.750 one sentence, even if other detail is given about them. 0:10:41.230 --> 0:10:44.150 Usually it's either that they did what was evil in 0:10:44.150 --> 0:10:45.910 the sight of the Lord. They did what was right, 0:10:45.910 --> 0:10:49.429 and for Josiah he decided not to be like his 0:10:49.429 --> 0:10:52.030 dad and his dad's dad, and he did what was 0:10:52.030 --> 0:10:54.550 right in the eyes of the Lord. He walked in 0:10:54.550 --> 0:10:57.709 all the ways of David, his father. He did not 0:10:57.710 --> 0:11:01.430 turn aside to the right or to the left. During 0:11:01.590 --> 0:11:05.069 Josiah's reign, the book of the law is discovered. It 0:11:05.070 --> 0:11:09.310 had been either concealed or hidden during Manasseh's reign. So 0:11:09.309 --> 0:11:13.990 once it's discovered and is read in Josiah's hearing, he 0:11:13.990 --> 0:11:18.470 is horrified. He tears his clothes. He weeps. He's repentant. 0:11:18.510 --> 0:11:23.750 He realizes all the ways that the nation has gone astray. Yeah. 0:11:24.110 --> 0:11:27.150 How far they are from what God has called them 0:11:27.150 --> 0:11:30.949 to do. And so he gathers the elders of Judah 0:11:30.950 --> 0:11:34.310 and Jerusalem, and they make a covenant before the Lord 0:11:34.309 --> 0:11:37.630 to keep the testimonies and the statutes of God with 0:11:37.630 --> 0:11:41.030 all of his heart and his soul. Then he immediately 0:11:41.030 --> 0:11:44.150 sets out to root out and remove all of the 0:11:44.150 --> 0:11:47.750 wicked practices of his father and his grandfather, and to 0:11:47.790 --> 0:11:53.429 re-establish proper worship in Israel. Ultimately, Israel was still taken 0:11:53.429 --> 0:11:57.670 into captivity in Babylon. Uh, Josiah didn't live to see 0:11:57.670 --> 0:12:01.270 those years. He was in God's mercy. He was spared 0:12:01.270 --> 0:12:05.429 because he was repentant. But when you think about your 0:12:06.030 --> 0:12:12.230 family of origin. You usually have to go one of 0:12:12.270 --> 0:12:16.910 two ways. Every single person. We talked a lot about 0:12:16.910 --> 0:12:20.310 this last week. Being raised in a Christian family does 0:12:20.309 --> 0:12:24.950 not make you a Christian. So every single person has 0:12:24.950 --> 0:12:28.150 to decide for themselves. Every single person will stand before 0:12:28.150 --> 0:12:33.550 God for themselves. But it is true that a lot 0:12:33.590 --> 0:12:37.150 of times you have to look at your family. Sometimes 0:12:37.150 --> 0:12:40.950 it's your dad specifically, sometimes it's just your family in 0:12:40.950 --> 0:12:45.110 general and say, I'm going to go the way of 0:12:45.110 --> 0:12:51.270 my family and sometimes that means continuing on with generations 0:12:51.270 --> 0:12:57.189 of dysfunction, with cycles of sin that have perpetuated from 0:12:57.230 --> 0:13:02.270 grandfather to father and on down. You know, I remember 0:13:02.429 --> 0:13:06.710 my husband had a friend back in his basketball playing days, 0:13:06.750 --> 0:13:10.469 and this friend was, you know, he was a he 0:13:10.470 --> 0:13:15.310 was a nice guy, you know, he was generous. He was, 0:13:15.750 --> 0:13:19.910 you know, like, had a great personality. But he really, 0:13:19.910 --> 0:13:28.470 really struggled to be faithful. He had affairs at least one, 0:13:28.470 --> 0:13:32.670 but likely many more. I loved his wife. She was 0:13:32.710 --> 0:13:37.949 a friend. He was not a good husband. He just wasn't. 0:13:37.990 --> 0:13:40.470 He was a nice guy. I think he was even 0:13:40.470 --> 0:13:44.630 a decent dad. But he was a pretty bad husband. 0:13:44.670 --> 0:13:47.920 He couldn't be faithful. And I remember him saying like, 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.640 this is what I know how to do. Like, this 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.960 is what my dad did. Like, wow. 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:53.640 Yeah. 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:57.280 He just kind of knew to go. 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.960 And it's painful on so many levels. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:04.720 Yeah. Go out and and just get women to just 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:09.120 kind of keep it real. Yeah. That's the cycle that 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.880 had been perpetuated in his family. And he just kind 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:16.120 of continued down that path. And so I'm curious this 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.160 morning what that looks like in your own life. Did 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.760 you decide to go the way of your family, or 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:27.720 did you have to make a break where you said, 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:34.560 like Josiah, no more? The my family's history cycles of 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.120 sin and dysfunction? As for me and my house, we 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.080 will serve the Lord. I think I'm going to open 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.560 the phone lines on this one. If you have a 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.240 story that you want to share? Obviously not asking you 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:50.360 to give details or to dishonor your family in any way, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.560 but if part of your journey of walking with the 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.840 Lord meant that you had to in a certain way, 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.880 like Josiah, decide that you were going to go a 0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:04.320 different path than your family. Give us a call 805 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:10.840 55 7898 805 55, 7898. This is a tough one 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.520 because I know sometimes those family relationships can be complicated, 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.520 but ultimately what our family does or not, we're called 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:19.800 to serve the Lord. 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:24.920 She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her. 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:29.040 Super dei is in the crew. It's Karl and crew 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:30.440 on Moody Radio. 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:35.360 Sometimes walking with Jesus requires you to break family cycles 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:39.000 of sin and dysfunction. It requires you to go a 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:42.320 different way than your family has gone. What does that 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:47.160 look like for you? 805 55 7898. Let's go to 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.400 JP calling in this morning from Ohio. Tell us you 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.760 had to break some family cycles to walk with the Lord. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:53.360 Go ahead. 0:15:55.320 --> 0:16:01.640 Yeah. Um, I, uh, in my family, um, growing up, um, 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.680 generational curse, uh, reigned in the in the form of 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:09.560 adultery in my family, um, as far back as my 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:13.680 great grandfather and all these stories we were told to me, 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.240 you know, as I got older, but, um, and it 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:23.040 it really found itself to be true in myself because, 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:27.000 I mean, I became promiscuous very young age. Um, having 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.640 women in your life or, you know, conquering, I guess. 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:32.960 What is the word that was used back in that day? Um, 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:35.920 really held or held on to held. Had a grip 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:40.920 on me, um, to the point where, um, in my marriage, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.240 I had committed adultery early on, um, in the midst 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.480 of being saved, um, a couple years into it. Um, 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:54.240 I confess that sin to my wife and God redeemed it. Um, 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:58.000 and literally, you know, I've been married now at the 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:00.320 end of this month for 21 years. And so it's 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.880 it's something that if we don't deal with as, as 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:05.280 men and break those curses in our family, it's something 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.440 that can that can reign on us for our whole lives. 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.520 J.P. from Ohio, thank you so much for your call 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.720 this morning. Uh, what about you? What does this look 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.520 like in your own life? You, Josiah, had to put 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:22.439 aside the practices of his dad and his grandpa. They 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.159 they were wicked, wicked kings. They did what was evil 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.240 in the sight of the Lord. Josiah went a different way. 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:31.320 He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.800 Did you have to do that? To do what was 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.200 right in the eyes of the Lord? You had to 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:40.600 break the cycle of sin and dysfunction that perpetuated in 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.320 your family. You had to go a different way than 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:52.080 your family had gone. 800 555 7898 (800) 555-7898. And a quick, 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:56.560 quick sub point. Just because our previous caller mentioned this, 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:58.639 I don't want to get into this at length. I 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:03.440 don't feel personally at the moment studied up or qualified 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.480 to go into this at length, but I did want 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:09.719 to make a comment about generational curses. Um, you know, 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:12.800 a lot of times there's a there's definitely a passage 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.399 of Scripture that's often referred to. But I want to 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:18.320 be clear on, on one thing, that we should not 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:23.760 view generational curses as something that's irreversible, that because that 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:29.360 this has been a pattern in my family, um, it's irreversible. 0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:32.399 And I will I will follow the same path because 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.480 it's what's been set out for me and I have 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.120 no choice in it. Um, and so I just want 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.120 to I just want to be clear on that, that 0:18:40.010 --> 0:18:44.490 every individual is responsible for their own choices 100%. What 0:18:44.490 --> 0:18:48.210 we absolutely often see in families is that there are 0:18:48.210 --> 0:18:51.729 generational cycles, to be sure, that there are patterns that 0:18:51.730 --> 0:18:56.650 are established, that are set out for generations. The previous 0:18:56.650 --> 0:19:00.170 caller mentioned adultery. There had been a pattern of that 0:19:00.170 --> 0:19:04.129 over a long period of time. And and so just 0:19:04.130 --> 0:19:07.530 like anything else, when that's what you see, that's what's modeled, 0:19:07.530 --> 0:19:11.410 that's what's presented, that's what's normal. Does it become much 0:19:11.410 --> 0:19:15.250 more likely that are you much more predisposed to falling 0:19:15.250 --> 0:19:19.810 into that yourself? Absolutely. But generational curses should not be 0:19:19.810 --> 0:19:22.770 viewed as something that are irreversible. Just wanted to throw 0:19:22.810 --> 0:19:25.649 that in. Definitely something we can wait a little bit 0:19:25.650 --> 0:19:29.290 more deeper into at another time, but threw that in 0:19:29.330 --> 0:19:31.850 as a setting yesterday. I'll say it again today. A 0:19:31.890 --> 0:19:35.169 green stamp bonus didn't cost you a thing. Had a 0:19:35.170 --> 0:19:37.770 pastor who used to say that every time he threw 0:19:37.810 --> 0:19:41.090 in anything that was off topic from his sermon. I 0:19:41.090 --> 0:19:43.369 love it. Say that was a green stamp bonus. Didn't 0:19:43.369 --> 0:19:45.690 cost you a thing. Take a couple more of your 0:19:45.690 --> 0:19:50.530 calls here. To follow God wholeheartedly meant you had to 0:19:50.570 --> 0:19:53.729 go a different way than your family had gone. It 0:19:53.730 --> 0:19:57.050 could be your father or your direct line, but could 0:19:57.050 --> 0:19:59.409 have just been in general. Your family all decided to 0:19:59.410 --> 0:20:02.970 go here and boy, you had to break break ties 0:20:02.970 --> 0:20:09.409 there and go a different direction. 805 55 7898 805 0:20:09.450 --> 0:20:11.770 55 7898. 0:20:12.330 --> 0:20:15.330 He was sharing the gospel on the radio and then 0:20:15.369 --> 0:20:19.689 he got saved. Young thunders in the crew. It's Carl 0:20:19.690 --> 0:20:21.490 and crew on Moody Radio. 0:20:21.650 --> 0:20:23.970 You're listening to Carl and crew here on Moody Radio. 0:20:24.010 --> 0:20:27.169 I'm Ali taking your calls this morning on this topic. 0:20:27.410 --> 0:20:30.250 For you. Following Jesus meant you had to go a 0:20:30.250 --> 0:20:34.930 different way than the rest of your family. 800 555 0:20:34.970 --> 0:20:41.090 7898 we'll take more of your calls. 805, 55, 78, 98. 0:20:41.210 --> 0:20:43.609 Coming up, I want to take you back a couple years. 0:20:43.609 --> 0:20:47.210 I went to a family funeral and someone got up 0:20:47.210 --> 0:20:51.610 and shared something that almost took my breath away. We 0:20:51.609 --> 0:20:55.649 were celebrating the life of my first cousin. I was 0:20:55.650 --> 0:20:58.770 not expecting this person to say this. I'll share it 0:20:58.770 --> 0:20:59.649 with you. Coming up. 0:20:59.930 --> 0:21:02.690 It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:21:03.010 --> 0:21:05.090 You know, we see in the life of King Josiah, 0:21:06.010 --> 0:21:09.050 his life was could be summed up in one verse 0:21:09.250 --> 0:21:11.170 that he did what was right in the eyes of 0:21:11.170 --> 0:21:15.050 the Lord. And the reason why that was so significant 0:21:15.090 --> 0:21:17.330 was because to do right in the eyes of the 0:21:17.330 --> 0:21:20.010 Lord meant he was going to have to put aside 0:21:20.010 --> 0:21:23.770 the wicked ways of his father, Ammon and his grandfather Manasseh. 0:21:23.970 --> 0:21:29.730 Manasseh was the most wicked king, and he did the unthinkable, 0:21:30.210 --> 0:21:32.970 the unspeakable in a lot of ways. And then his 0:21:32.970 --> 0:21:38.810 son Ammon followed right in dad's footsteps. But Josiah followed God. 0:21:38.810 --> 0:21:40.810 He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. 0:21:40.810 --> 0:21:43.129 And I started thinking about what this looks like. And 0:21:43.130 --> 0:21:46.210 I'm not saying that your family is is is the 0:21:46.210 --> 0:21:49.250 most wicked like King Manasseh, but there's certainly a principle 0:21:49.250 --> 0:21:53.090 in play here that sometimes following God requires you to 0:21:53.130 --> 0:21:57.770 to put aside cycles of sin and dysfunction from your 0:21:57.770 --> 0:22:00.850 family of origin. And this is, you know, I went 0:22:00.850 --> 0:22:03.850 to a funeral a couple years ago for one of 0:22:03.850 --> 0:22:06.770 my cousins who had passed away, and he was, you know, 0:22:06.770 --> 0:22:10.850 he was probably in his maybe late 40s, early 50s 0:22:10.850 --> 0:22:15.890 when he passed. And he had had such a difficult life, really, 0:22:15.890 --> 0:22:21.170 from his earliest days. He had had so much hardship. 0:22:21.450 --> 0:22:25.810 And one of the people who got up and spoke, um, 0:22:25.930 --> 0:22:29.810 at the funeral was a it was kind of a 0:22:30.010 --> 0:22:32.010 who had he had been sort of a father figure 0:22:32.010 --> 0:22:35.820 to my cousin. I didn't know him. I kind of 0:22:35.859 --> 0:22:37.460 saw him for the first time when he got up 0:22:37.460 --> 0:22:40.820 and he spoke, but what he said really surprised me is, 0:22:40.859 --> 0:22:43.500 you know, I knew my cousin had struggled with some 0:22:43.500 --> 0:22:47.580 addiction issues and some just some life stuff. And he 0:22:47.580 --> 0:22:50.900 got up this, this man, and he shared with great remorse. 0:22:50.900 --> 0:22:56.419 And he actually quoted a scripture. He quoted Proverbs 22 0:22:56.460 --> 0:22:58.379 six which says, train up a child in the way 0:22:58.380 --> 0:23:00.020 he should go when he is old. He will not 0:23:00.020 --> 0:23:02.940 depart from it. And he shared that verse and he said, 0:23:02.980 --> 0:23:06.380 you know what? This young man, I won't say his name. 0:23:06.380 --> 0:23:10.540 He goes, he was he was trained up to do 0:23:10.580 --> 0:23:14.540 what I did. And he shared with great remorse how, 0:23:14.859 --> 0:23:18.220 you know, the, the addiction issues, the things that were 0:23:18.260 --> 0:23:22.139 kind of modeled in front of him or kind of 0:23:22.180 --> 0:23:25.620 the ways that he was trained up in. And so 0:23:25.780 --> 0:23:29.140 this man shared with great remorse, kind of the responsibility. 0:23:29.180 --> 0:23:34.180 He felt that my cousin had gone that same path and, 0:23:34.859 --> 0:23:38.140 you know, it was it was a really it was 0:23:38.140 --> 0:23:43.500 a poignant moment because he the great thing is that 0:23:43.500 --> 0:23:47.180 my cousin in the in his later years, he came 0:23:47.180 --> 0:23:50.020 to know the Lord. That's awesome. And you know, I 0:23:50.260 --> 0:23:53.700 remember I got to see him probably within a couple 0:23:53.700 --> 0:23:57.380 months before he passed. And he was he was had 0:23:57.380 --> 0:24:00.340 so much joy, and it was so encouraging to see 0:24:00.340 --> 0:24:03.780 that he was doing so well. Yes, yes. Um, so 0:24:03.820 --> 0:24:09.100 his life ended way too short, but it ended well. 0:24:09.460 --> 0:24:12.980 He was he finished strong in the Lord, despite how 0:24:12.980 --> 0:24:15.220 things had started and how things had gone for much 0:24:15.220 --> 0:24:18.420 of his life. You know, I think about that sometimes 0:24:18.420 --> 0:24:22.660 how he went the way of what he had saw, 0:24:22.980 --> 0:24:26.699 what he had seen. So much of that shaped the 0:24:26.700 --> 0:24:32.060 life that he ended up living. But God but God intervened. 0:24:32.820 --> 0:24:36.580 God was merciful. Has that been your story that you 0:24:36.580 --> 0:24:40.980 had to break ties with the ways of your family? 0:24:41.780 --> 0:24:44.899 Maybe in a way that feels extreme and significant, and 0:24:44.900 --> 0:24:47.300 there actually had to be a physical break in the relationship, 0:24:47.300 --> 0:24:49.740 maybe in subtle ways where you realize that I just 0:24:49.740 --> 0:24:54.780 I can't follow that because following God requires me to 0:24:54.780 --> 0:25:00.220 do something different. 800 555 7898 let's go to John 0:25:00.220 --> 0:25:03.180 calling in this morning from Indiana. What did you have 0:25:03.180 --> 0:25:07.580 to do? Following God required you to to to break tradition, 0:25:07.580 --> 0:25:10.379 break sin cycles. Dysfunction. What did that look like? 0:25:12.140 --> 0:25:16.899 Um, well, my family definitely didn't follow Jesus at all. Um, 0:25:16.940 --> 0:25:21.180 my father was a drunk, and I one day hit 0:25:21.180 --> 0:25:24.459 my knees and asked Jesus what I was doing or 0:25:24.460 --> 0:25:26.939 what I needed to do. Told me to find a 0:25:26.940 --> 0:25:31.619 church home. I did that, and now I'm in a 0:25:31.700 --> 0:25:36.580 worship team that travels, bringing Jesus's word to everybody. My 0:25:36.580 --> 0:25:40.460 granddaughter's following me. She gets up and sings with me. 0:25:40.460 --> 0:25:43.060 And I couldn't be happier that I found Jesus. 0:25:43.100 --> 0:25:46.260 Oh, John. Awesome. Thank you so much for your call 0:25:46.300 --> 0:25:49.660 from Indiana this morning. Let's get another one in. David 0:25:49.660 --> 0:25:52.260 from Michigan. David. Tell me your story. 0:25:53.540 --> 0:25:55.260 In the early 90s, I was dropped off at the 0:25:55.260 --> 0:25:59.179 mental hospital. And that began a lifelong process of, um, 0:25:59.220 --> 0:26:04.540 diagnosis and, uh, labels and government assistance. And as I 0:26:04.580 --> 0:26:07.859 grew older, um, about 13 years ago, God had called 0:26:07.859 --> 0:26:11.420 me out of that lifestyle. As a young adult, it's 0:26:11.420 --> 0:26:15.380 not easy to get in conversations with senior citizens around getting, uh, 0:26:15.660 --> 0:26:19.580 you know, Social Security and disability benefits. But God had 0:26:19.580 --> 0:26:21.500 called me to something greater, you know, and I found 0:26:21.500 --> 0:26:24.380 inspiration in that story of the man that Jesus met 0:26:24.380 --> 0:26:27.580 in the caves who there was legion in him. But 0:26:27.580 --> 0:26:29.699 he was also crying out as a man saying, I 0:26:29.700 --> 0:26:34.790 want to be healed. So I stepped into that. That 0:26:34.790 --> 0:26:36.790 new season God had for me. And it was really 0:26:36.790 --> 0:26:39.550 hard because, you know, once I was off the medications, 0:26:39.550 --> 0:26:43.710 the assistance was addicting. And that was the pattern prevalent 0:26:43.710 --> 0:26:47.070 in my family and generations before me and with with 0:26:47.070 --> 0:26:50.430 the assistance comes in in activity. And you don't understand 0:26:50.430 --> 0:26:53.950 what your dreams are. And so I've stepped out of that. And, 0:26:53.990 --> 0:26:56.790 you know, the church helped ministries around me, helped, and 0:26:56.790 --> 0:26:59.670 I've been healed in the name of Jesus. And God 0:26:59.670 --> 0:27:02.190 gave me a faith bigger than I thought I could 0:27:02.190 --> 0:27:04.869 ever have. And so I just pray for my family 0:27:04.869 --> 0:27:08.150 that they would also step out into that faith that 0:27:08.150 --> 0:27:08.910 God has. 0:27:08.950 --> 0:27:11.470 David, thank you so much for your call this morning 0:27:11.710 --> 0:27:15.470 from Michigan. Uh. Powerful stuff. What about you? Have you 0:27:15.470 --> 0:27:19.310 experienced this? Where walking with the Lord meant that you 0:27:19.310 --> 0:27:23.190 had to go a different way than your family? 805, 0:27:23.230 --> 0:27:28.550 55 7898 855 578 98. 0:27:28.950 --> 0:27:33.470 A basketball mom who's mastered the dad joke. Ali is 0:27:33.470 --> 0:27:37.190 in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:27:37.510 --> 0:27:41.350 We are messengers. God be the glory. You know, God 0:27:41.350 --> 0:27:44.950 in his mercy allows us to see the truth. We 0:27:44.950 --> 0:27:48.430 can only love him because he first loved us. So 0:27:48.430 --> 0:27:51.270 when we share these stories, you know, it's each person 0:27:51.270 --> 0:27:54.430 it's been with great humility that God has allowed them 0:27:54.430 --> 0:27:58.469 to see where, despite what they were raised in, despite 0:27:58.470 --> 0:28:01.470 maybe what they saw, the Lord allowed them to see 0:28:01.470 --> 0:28:05.070 the truth and to break the cycles maybe that they 0:28:05.109 --> 0:28:07.950 saw growing up. Let's go to Bethany. First time caller 0:28:07.950 --> 0:28:11.430 from Michigan. Um. To follow Jesus. What did you have 0:28:11.430 --> 0:28:13.790 to break free from? That was in your family? 0:28:15.630 --> 0:28:18.830 Yeah. So at first, it was breaking free from the 0:28:18.830 --> 0:28:22.670 religion that I was born into. Um, but then after that, 0:28:22.670 --> 0:28:28.990 it was a pattern of depression and suicide and pills and, um, 0:28:29.109 --> 0:28:32.470 the ways of the world. And after my dad took 0:28:32.470 --> 0:28:36.750 his life, the Lord showed me that I have two 0:28:36.750 --> 0:28:41.590 fathers and one is an earthly father who failed me 0:28:41.790 --> 0:28:45.870 and or failed me, and that I that suicide could 0:28:45.910 --> 0:28:49.470 have given me my identity. And it definitely brought shame 0:28:49.470 --> 0:28:53.950 and stigma. But instead, the Lord showed me that before 0:28:53.990 --> 0:28:58.510 that he also willingly hung to his death. And so 0:28:58.710 --> 0:29:01.990 for two fathers to willingly, willingly hang to their death. 0:29:01.990 --> 0:29:05.510 But the first one brought freedom and forgiveness for what 0:29:05.510 --> 0:29:08.270 was to come. And so to choose the freedom and 0:29:08.270 --> 0:29:12.510 the forgiveness and to choose Jesus is something that I, 0:29:12.910 --> 0:29:15.550 I could not turn from, and I never will, because 0:29:15.550 --> 0:29:19.070 he is perfect and will never leave me or forsake me. 0:29:19.110 --> 0:29:23.030 Bethany, thank you so much. First time caller, uh, from Michigan. 0:29:23.070 --> 0:29:25.390 You know, when we think about the cross of Jesus 0:29:25.390 --> 0:29:29.870 Christ and the victory that we have over death itself, 0:29:30.070 --> 0:29:35.350 over sin, over any sort of generational pattern because of 0:29:35.350 --> 0:29:39.470 Jesus Christ as Bethany just captured so well. We can 0:29:39.470 --> 0:29:43.710 walk in freedom because of our Heavenly Father. We can 0:29:43.710 --> 0:29:46.990 live free today, says Katie Nicole. 0:29:47.310 --> 0:29:49.990 You can take him out of Alaska, but you can't 0:29:50.030 --> 0:29:53.950 take Alaska out of him. Carl is in the crew. 0:29:54.110 --> 0:29:56.710 It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:29:57.030 --> 0:29:59.070 Well, if you can think back to when you first 0:29:59.070 --> 0:30:02.709 started working and you got that first paycheck. 0:30:03.110 --> 0:30:03.870 Oh, so good. 0:30:03.910 --> 0:30:09.110 Part of you felt like, wow. Freedom. Yes. But then 0:30:09.110 --> 0:30:12.870 you start really studying it. And you notice for the 0:30:12.870 --> 0:30:16.790 first time, you know where I'm going with this? Yes. 0:30:18.590 --> 0:30:24.830 I thought they told me I was making 875 an hour. Yeah. Why? 0:30:25.870 --> 0:30:30.160 Like my son last month. Wait. All of a sudden 0:30:30.160 --> 0:30:33.160 you realize that? Quite a bit is taken from you 0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:35.480 before it ever hits your account. 0:30:35.520 --> 0:30:36.000 Yeah. 0:30:36.680 --> 0:30:38.560 And you don't realize that? 0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:40.320 No. No one really tells you. 0:30:40.360 --> 0:30:43.320 One really tells you that what you're making isn't really 0:30:43.320 --> 0:30:46.840 what you're making. Correct. Because there's this little thing that's 0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:48.120 called taxes. 0:30:48.160 --> 0:30:49.840 Paying your debt to society. 0:30:50.160 --> 0:30:51.800 Come on. They tell you, but then. 0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:54.600 When you look at it like, oh, okay. 0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:57.560 It's like your HOA fee for living in America. 0:30:59.160 --> 0:31:02.280 And it's such a funny thing because every parent will 0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:04.360 look at their child when they do that, or their 0:31:04.360 --> 0:31:09.480 young adult and kind of chuckle like, yep, welcome to adulthood. 0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:11.000 Oh, it's the worst. 0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:13.320 There's this expression that's out there. It's been out there 0:31:13.320 --> 0:31:15.720 for a while, but adulting, which I think is kind 0:31:15.720 --> 0:31:17.360 of kind of a funny use of the word. 0:31:17.400 --> 0:31:17.880 Absolutely. 0:31:17.880 --> 0:31:20.560 I don't I don't remember it being a thing when 0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:22.960 I was a kid, but I definitely hear many more 0:31:22.960 --> 0:31:24.720 people talk about adulting. 0:31:24.920 --> 0:31:25.480 Absolutely. 0:31:25.520 --> 0:31:28.200 Like, um, you know, and it's sometimes used as, like 0:31:28.200 --> 0:31:31.520 a hashtag or kind of a, like a funny exclamation 0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:34.280 point on things like, uh, had to pay for a 0:31:34.280 --> 0:31:36.959 broken dishwasher today. Hashtag adulting. 0:31:37.000 --> 0:31:39.560 Yeah. Car repairs, hashtag adulting. 0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:40.760 Can I tell you a story? 0:31:41.040 --> 0:31:41.760 Uh, always. 0:31:41.800 --> 0:31:45.360 This is where adulting got me a little bit, so I. 0:31:46.040 --> 0:31:49.880 I moved into an apartment that was going to be mine. 0:31:49.880 --> 0:31:52.000 And my wife's just, like, a week or two before 0:31:52.000 --> 0:31:53.920 we got married. So I went in there, and I 0:31:53.920 --> 0:31:57.000 lived there by myself, and I'm living there. Everything's great. 0:31:57.040 --> 0:31:59.200 And this we got married at the end of December, 0:31:59.200 --> 0:32:01.240 and then we went on a honeymoon kind of right 0:32:01.240 --> 0:32:04.000 there into the beginning of January. If you don't know, 0:32:04.480 --> 0:32:08.160 checks are due at the first of each month typically. 0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:12.800 Typically I thought, well, I'm I'm going on my honeymoon, 0:32:14.320 --> 0:32:17.280 so I'll just pay it when I get back. And 0:32:17.280 --> 0:32:20.800 I got back like on the 7th of January, I think. 0:32:20.880 --> 0:32:24.560 And and I, we get home, we're chilling. I pull 0:32:24.560 --> 0:32:26.520 up my laptop and I'm looking. I have an email 0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:31.680 from the the renters company and they're like, ah, you 0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:35.080 need to you need to pay. Because I hadn't paid 0:32:35.080 --> 0:32:38.040 them anything yet. This would be my first my first 0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:40.280 check of rent. And they're not getting it from me. 0:32:40.280 --> 0:32:43.000 And now I'm a week behind and I'm like, oh, 0:32:43.160 --> 0:32:44.080 I'm so sorry. 0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:45.239 But I was on my. 0:32:45.440 --> 0:32:47.600 I was on my honeymoon. I figured I'd just pay 0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:50.400 it when I got back. That you can't do that 0:32:50.600 --> 0:32:54.040 when it's due. It's due. And I don't know why 0:32:54.040 --> 0:32:54.960 I didn't think of that. 0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:57.600 Oh, that's so funny. No, because you think. Well, of 0:32:57.600 --> 0:33:00.200 course I'm on my honeymoon. I'm sure everybody will understand. 0:33:00.240 --> 0:33:02.520 Yes. I can't, I can't pay it on the first. 0:33:02.600 --> 0:33:04.000 I'm not here on the first. 0:33:04.040 --> 0:33:06.280 I can't I can't do this right. 0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:10.440 Yay! 0:33:11.440 --> 0:33:14.920 Coming up, if you are the parent of a young adult, 0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:18.760 you may have noticed. Man, there seems like they're having 0:33:18.760 --> 0:33:22.970 a tough time easing into this whole adulting thing. Thing. 0:33:23.010 --> 0:33:25.210 Some of the things that I feel like I was 0:33:25.210 --> 0:33:28.170 doing at their age, they don't seem to be getting 0:33:28.170 --> 0:33:33.210 there quite as quickly. Yeah, that's a thing. You're not alone. 0:33:33.250 --> 0:33:35.650 It's not a bad thing, though. Coming up, we've got 0:33:35.650 --> 0:33:38.209 a special guest who's going to talk about how to 0:33:38.250 --> 0:33:43.290 help young adults live fruitfully, insanely fruitful. Part of the 0:33:43.290 --> 0:33:45.650 title of a book he has out. It's going to 0:33:45.650 --> 0:33:48.610 be advice for the young adult, but also the advice 0:33:48.610 --> 0:33:51.610 if you are the parent kind of sitting on your 0:33:51.610 --> 0:33:54.130 hands a little bit going, how do I help here? 0:33:54.130 --> 0:33:56.690 I don't want to say too much, but it seems 0:33:56.690 --> 0:33:58.650 like they're stuck a little bit. 0:33:59.530 --> 0:34:03.610 Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight. 0:34:03.930 --> 0:34:07.890 Super di is in the crew. It's curling crew on 0:34:07.890 --> 0:34:08.810 Moody Radio. 0:34:08.850 --> 0:34:12.370 Well, there used to be a pretty expected, predictable path 0:34:12.370 --> 0:34:14.850 that was followed. You went to high school and then 0:34:15.050 --> 0:34:18.450 maybe did a trade school, maybe some college and then 0:34:18.450 --> 0:34:22.290 early 20s. You got married, maybe started a family. and 0:34:22.290 --> 0:34:25.330 that was just kind of what people did. Well, this 0:34:25.330 --> 0:34:29.410 generation of young adults is taking longer to meet some 0:34:29.410 --> 0:34:33.049 of those markers, reach financial independence, live on their own, 0:34:33.050 --> 0:34:37.089 get married, start a family. And that can cause some tension, 0:34:37.090 --> 0:34:40.049 both for the parents of young adults, but also for 0:34:40.050 --> 0:34:44.250 the young adult themselves who feel unprepared, who feel stuck, 0:34:44.250 --> 0:34:46.770 who feel like they're not making the kind of progress 0:34:46.770 --> 0:34:49.410 they were hoping they'd make. We've got a special guest 0:34:49.410 --> 0:34:51.649 joining us right now who's got a keen interest in 0:34:51.650 --> 0:34:55.290 this topic, David Stevens. He's a pastor, speaker, a coach 0:34:55.290 --> 0:34:59.529 with nearly 20 years of experience leading and discipling young adults. 0:34:59.650 --> 0:35:02.930 What have you noticed with these young adults that maybe 0:35:02.930 --> 0:35:05.529 differs from previous generations? 0:35:06.010 --> 0:35:09.730 You know, I've noticed that the young adults today, from 0:35:09.730 --> 0:35:12.210 my experience working with them, are dealing with a lot 0:35:12.250 --> 0:35:16.210 of insecurity and a lot of comparison. You know, with 0:35:16.210 --> 0:35:19.129 social media, there's so many different people that they can 0:35:19.130 --> 0:35:22.850 look online and have this expectation that their life is 0:35:22.850 --> 0:35:25.170 supposed to look like something, that they don't know how 0:35:25.170 --> 0:35:27.009 to get there. You know, it's supposed to look like 0:35:27.010 --> 0:35:29.649 something different than what it is. So I think that 0:35:29.650 --> 0:35:34.210 that plays into how this generation is looking at things differently. 0:35:34.210 --> 0:35:36.410 There's a lot more for sure, but that's a huge one. 0:35:36.690 --> 0:35:40.529 And, you know, it's tempting for parents, for other adults 0:35:40.530 --> 0:35:43.810 to look at things like social media and say, well, 0:35:43.810 --> 0:35:49.490 this these young people are they're more distracted. They're not focused. 0:35:49.530 --> 0:35:52.410 They can't seem to get it together. And you actually 0:35:52.410 --> 0:35:56.210 wrote a book called Getting It Together That insecurity. Speak 0:35:56.250 --> 0:35:58.569 a little bit more to that. So many adults, young 0:35:58.610 --> 0:36:01.969 adults feel like they aren't really prepared to kind of 0:36:02.010 --> 0:36:04.250 make the transition to adulting. 0:36:04.610 --> 0:36:06.970 I think that a lot of young adults are finding 0:36:06.969 --> 0:36:10.690 themselves in a really complicated world, and they're looking for, 0:36:10.930 --> 0:36:13.330 you know, some things that are like, man, how do 0:36:13.330 --> 0:36:15.690 I know that I'm on the right track? I think 0:36:15.730 --> 0:36:18.250 as I talk to young adults, there's a real fear, 0:36:18.730 --> 0:36:21.050 a fear that they're going to be alone, a fear 0:36:21.050 --> 0:36:23.690 that they're going to miss out on maybe what God 0:36:23.690 --> 0:36:26.009 has called them to. Uh, a fear that they're going 0:36:26.050 --> 0:36:28.689 to miss their purpose in life. And so they they're 0:36:28.730 --> 0:36:31.410 wanting what what do I do? How do I how 0:36:31.410 --> 0:36:33.810 do I make this work? How do I take the 0:36:33.810 --> 0:36:37.890 things that are the basics and implement them? And so, 0:36:37.930 --> 0:36:40.770 you know, that's why I wrote this. I tried to 0:36:40.810 --> 0:36:45.410 provide a framework. I tried to provide a foundation platform 0:36:45.450 --> 0:36:49.490 of really practical, hands on things where these young adults 0:36:49.530 --> 0:36:52.690 can can learn some of the key lessons in life 0:36:52.690 --> 0:36:54.649 that are going to make them feel confident to do 0:36:54.650 --> 0:36:56.050 what God has called them to do. 0:36:56.290 --> 0:36:59.609 So let's talk specifically about relationships, because that's one of 0:36:59.610 --> 0:37:02.529 the key things that you tackle. What is today's young 0:37:02.530 --> 0:37:05.569 adult need to know to live fruitfully in terms of 0:37:05.610 --> 0:37:06.969 their relationships. 0:37:07.810 --> 0:37:10.730 When it comes to relationships? First of all, it's kind 0:37:10.730 --> 0:37:14.570 of the the foundation of of our life. Um, your 0:37:14.570 --> 0:37:18.250 relationship with your with your parents, your relationship with your friends. 0:37:18.370 --> 0:37:21.050 and everybody has a deep longing for that. And so 0:37:21.290 --> 0:37:25.770 I think that when it comes to living a fruitful life, 0:37:25.770 --> 0:37:29.370 if your relationships are off kilter, if they are not 0:37:29.610 --> 0:37:33.850 what God has ordained, meaning, if you're not living according 0:37:33.890 --> 0:37:36.850 to the biblical principles that God has set out, your 0:37:36.850 --> 0:37:39.370 life is going to be empty. It's going to be 0:37:39.610 --> 0:37:42.770 filled with frustration and brokenness. And so I think that, 0:37:42.810 --> 0:37:46.330 you know, having healthy relationships is really a core piece 0:37:46.330 --> 0:37:49.410 of living a life of joy and fulfillment. 0:37:49.730 --> 0:37:53.370 Now, many, many young adults struggle to connect with God. 0:37:53.410 --> 0:37:56.209 I mean, some of it is the distraction of social media. 0:37:56.250 --> 0:37:59.730 I mean, there's never been more tools available in terms 0:37:59.730 --> 0:38:03.810 of podcasts and blogs and devotionals. Um, but how do 0:38:03.810 --> 0:38:05.850 you coach the young adults that you work with who 0:38:05.850 --> 0:38:08.570 are feel stuck in their relationship with God? 0:38:09.130 --> 0:38:12.250 I think that there's so much insecurity when it comes 0:38:12.250 --> 0:38:15.609 to approaching your relationship with God. For young adults, they're 0:38:15.610 --> 0:38:18.180 feeling like they're doing it wrong. But what I try 0:38:18.219 --> 0:38:20.700 to encourage them to do is, you know, just keep 0:38:20.700 --> 0:38:23.859 showing up. One of the things that that we oftentimes 0:38:23.860 --> 0:38:26.900 think is, well, I'm not doing it right. Or, you know, 0:38:26.940 --> 0:38:30.460 when I came to read my Bible, I got so distracted, 0:38:30.500 --> 0:38:32.859 I ended up being on my phone. You know, maybe 0:38:32.860 --> 0:38:35.660 I was there for 20 minutes and 15 of those minutes. 0:38:35.660 --> 0:38:39.100 I was thinking about the conversation I had yesterday or, 0:38:39.140 --> 0:38:41.180 you know, the what I got to do at work. 0:38:41.219 --> 0:38:43.740 And so what I encourage people to do is I say, hey, 0:38:44.020 --> 0:38:46.500 you know, spending time with God sometimes it's it's like 0:38:46.500 --> 0:38:48.260 a workout. You know, when I go to the gym, 0:38:48.260 --> 0:38:51.980 I know is I lift those weights, I'm not expecting 0:38:52.020 --> 0:38:55.860 to lift the amount of weight that I want to lift. Eventually. 0:38:55.860 --> 0:38:58.140 I know that I have to start at one place 0:38:58.140 --> 0:39:00.020 and work my way up. And I think that with 0:39:00.020 --> 0:39:03.020 your walk with God, if you just keep showing up, 0:39:03.180 --> 0:39:06.819 if you just keep believing that God is there, even 0:39:06.820 --> 0:39:10.020 if you don't feel like he's there, eventually you're going 0:39:10.060 --> 0:39:12.580 to start to walk into a new level of maturity. 0:39:12.580 --> 0:39:15.460 And every time that you show up, you win. And 0:39:15.460 --> 0:39:19.540 that's what I tell people. Just keep showing up, keep praying, 0:39:19.580 --> 0:39:22.020 keep reading your word. Keep doing the things that you 0:39:22.020 --> 0:39:23.020 know you're supposed to. 0:39:23.500 --> 0:39:26.740 Now, have you noticed any sort of difference here along 0:39:26.739 --> 0:39:30.940 the lines of gender? Uh, do young men seem to 0:39:30.940 --> 0:39:34.260 be struggling more than young women, or are you seeing 0:39:34.260 --> 0:39:35.219 it with both? 0:39:36.020 --> 0:39:38.700 It's with both. But if I had to say one 0:39:38.700 --> 0:39:40.620 or the other, I would say that young men are 0:39:40.620 --> 0:39:44.700 struggling more. And I think that that's because young men 0:39:44.700 --> 0:39:47.300 are pulled in so many different directions. And in a 0:39:47.340 --> 0:39:50.580 lot of ways, young men today are just being told 0:39:50.580 --> 0:39:53.660 that they're really messing everything up. Yeah. And so I 0:39:53.660 --> 0:39:56.540 think that our young men, they're also being told that 0:39:56.540 --> 0:40:00.020 they have to do things a certain way where that 0:40:00.020 --> 0:40:03.100 might not be their strength. And so, you know, they're 0:40:03.100 --> 0:40:05.500 feeling really beat up and really insecure. You know, I 0:40:05.500 --> 0:40:08.780 was talking to a young adult, he's like 18 years old. 0:40:08.780 --> 0:40:11.060 He said to me, he said, man, I just feel 0:40:11.060 --> 0:40:11.940 so behind. 0:40:11.980 --> 0:40:12.459 Oh, wow. 0:40:12.500 --> 0:40:15.980 And I said, how can an 18 year old feel 0:40:15.980 --> 0:40:19.299 so behind. But I think there's been so many messages 0:40:19.300 --> 0:40:22.779 given to young adults, especially young men, saying you're not 0:40:22.780 --> 0:40:26.259 doing it right and you should be farther along. And 0:40:26.260 --> 0:40:30.219 so all of these fears just are constantly plaguing young 0:40:30.219 --> 0:40:33.700 adults where they're feeling like I'm not doing things right. 0:40:33.739 --> 0:40:36.660 I'm missing out on what I should know. And they're 0:40:36.660 --> 0:40:38.939 feeling like everyone else is doing it right, because there's 0:40:38.940 --> 0:40:43.100 this fake image on social media that they're constantly being fed. 0:40:43.100 --> 0:40:45.580 So it really takes faith to say, you know what, 0:40:45.580 --> 0:40:49.140 I'm going to sow the seeds. Mall today so that 0:40:49.140 --> 0:40:51.060 I can reap the fruit tomorrow. 0:40:51.540 --> 0:40:55.060 How can the church help in this? I mean, I 0:40:55.060 --> 0:40:57.660 know a big part of your background is working in 0:40:57.660 --> 0:41:00.620 the church. You've been a pastor. You've worked in the 0:41:00.620 --> 0:41:04.940 young adult ministry. What is the church doing right, in 0:41:04.940 --> 0:41:08.100 terms of helping young adults? And where are maybe we 0:41:08.420 --> 0:41:09.660 are we missing it? 0:41:10.020 --> 0:41:13.299 I think where churches are really winning is when churches 0:41:13.300 --> 0:41:18.270 are teaching young adults the word when they're learning how 0:41:18.270 --> 0:41:21.109 to actually study their Bibles. I mean, you can't you 0:41:21.110 --> 0:41:23.310 can't go wrong with that. And that is the core 0:41:23.310 --> 0:41:25.350 of how to live a godly life. I think an 0:41:25.350 --> 0:41:28.509 area where the church could do better, at least in 0:41:28.510 --> 0:41:33.710 my experience, is the older training and discipling the younger. 0:41:33.750 --> 0:41:34.150 Yes. 0:41:34.190 --> 0:41:37.270 And and I think that what happens is the older people, 0:41:37.270 --> 0:41:39.230 they're afraid to do that. And maybe they feel like 0:41:39.230 --> 0:41:41.870 they're unequipped to do that. But what I found is that, 0:41:41.910 --> 0:41:45.710 you know what? The dinner table is a fantastic discipleship tool. 0:41:45.750 --> 0:41:48.710 You don't have to have a a Bible degree. You 0:41:48.710 --> 0:41:52.469 don't have to be a perfect dad or mom. You 0:41:52.469 --> 0:41:55.189 don't have to, you know, have it all together. You 0:41:55.190 --> 0:41:58.550 just have to be a step ahead and be able 0:41:58.550 --> 0:42:01.350 to love on the young adults in your life. And 0:42:01.350 --> 0:42:04.750 I think that you'd be surprised the kinds of questions 0:42:04.750 --> 0:42:09.030 that young adults are asking. It's things that you've experienced that, 0:42:09.070 --> 0:42:12.029 that you've often been through, and you're just going to 0:42:12.030 --> 0:42:14.910 give them what you know to be true and what 0:42:14.910 --> 0:42:17.109 the Bible says about it. And really, that's what they're 0:42:17.110 --> 0:42:17.750 looking for. 0:42:18.150 --> 0:42:21.150 David Stephens, our guest right now is pastor, speaker coach. 0:42:21.150 --> 0:42:23.549 He's author of a book called Getting It Together Ten 0:42:23.550 --> 0:42:27.070 Lessons to Help Young Adults Live an Insanely Fruitful Life. 0:42:27.110 --> 0:42:30.310 You know, many parents listening right now with young adult children, 0:42:30.310 --> 0:42:34.469 and they're toggling back between maybe a sense of frustration 0:42:35.030 --> 0:42:37.790 with their young adult child who's not quite where they 0:42:37.790 --> 0:42:42.390 thought they would be, or maybe even some shame or disappointment, 0:42:42.390 --> 0:42:46.190 but wanting to still love that child? Well. What advice 0:42:46.190 --> 0:42:49.150 would you give to the parent of a young adult 0:42:49.150 --> 0:42:52.629 child who's kind of stuck and struggling? What can they 0:42:52.630 --> 0:42:53.630 do to help? 0:42:54.230 --> 0:42:56.230 You know, the first thing that I would say to 0:42:56.270 --> 0:43:00.910 those parents is give yourself some grace. Nobody's a perfect 0:43:00.910 --> 0:43:05.350 parent and nobody does it. All right? I'm a parent. 0:43:05.350 --> 0:43:07.549 I've got five kids. My my kids are not young 0:43:07.550 --> 0:43:10.310 adults yet, but I just know I'm going to be 0:43:10.310 --> 0:43:13.790 running into this. And you're going to miss things. You're 0:43:13.790 --> 0:43:17.270 not going to do everything right, and you're going to 0:43:17.310 --> 0:43:20.589 continue to learn as you parent. And I think as 0:43:20.590 --> 0:43:22.870 you're going into this season where you've got a young 0:43:22.870 --> 0:43:27.710 adult maybe is struggling, maybe feels like they're not prepared 0:43:27.710 --> 0:43:31.510 for life, well, don't take that personally. And I also 0:43:31.550 --> 0:43:35.750 would say when you have a young adult, really, this 0:43:35.750 --> 0:43:39.029 is the season to release. I think that a lot 0:43:39.070 --> 0:43:43.589 of times parents actually, what oftentimes happen is they give 0:43:43.630 --> 0:43:46.430 way too much freedom to their kids when they're young. 0:43:46.710 --> 0:43:49.989 And then as they get older, they see the direction, 0:43:49.989 --> 0:43:52.750 and they don't like some of the directions that their 0:43:52.750 --> 0:43:56.710 kids go. And so they try to compensate and control 0:43:56.750 --> 0:43:59.790 as they get older. And so what often happens is 0:43:59.830 --> 0:44:03.069 we feel like, well, I, I didn't do what I 0:44:03.070 --> 0:44:05.750 was supposed to back here, so let me try to 0:44:05.750 --> 0:44:08.790 fix it as they're older. But but really, what you've 0:44:08.790 --> 0:44:11.310 got to do is you got to trust that God 0:44:11.310 --> 0:44:14.310 is their parent as well, and you have to be 0:44:14.350 --> 0:44:17.950 able to release young adults to make their own mistakes. 0:44:18.190 --> 0:44:21.830 Don't try to take all of the consequences of bad 0:44:21.830 --> 0:44:26.510 decisions away. Let them experience the consequences of bad decisions 0:44:26.670 --> 0:44:29.589 and release them to do what God has called them 0:44:29.590 --> 0:44:31.830 to do. It might not look exactly what you thought 0:44:31.830 --> 0:44:34.590 it would, and that's okay. You've got to let them 0:44:34.590 --> 0:44:36.950 now live the life that they're called to live. 0:44:37.310 --> 0:44:40.629 Great encouragement for parents, especially coming up on Father's Day 0:44:40.630 --> 0:44:44.110 this weekend. Guest. David Stevens. He's got a book getting 0:44:44.110 --> 0:44:46.750 It Together ten Lessons to Help Young Adults Live an 0:44:46.750 --> 0:44:50.430 Insanely Fruitful Life. If you want more, just text fruitful 0:44:50.469 --> 0:44:57.950 to 855 five 7898. Fruitful to 855 five 7898. 0:44:58.430 --> 0:45:01.469 He's a sports fanatic with a stat for anything you 0:45:01.469 --> 0:45:05.710 can think of. Young Thunder is in the groove. It's 0:45:05.710 --> 0:45:07.910 curl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:45:08.310 --> 0:45:14.270 Has your little girl started talking. Any any discernible words yet? 0:45:14.310 --> 0:45:18.390 Yeah, a little bit. Uh. She does. Mama and dada. Oh, she. 0:45:18.710 --> 0:45:19.549 With purpose? 0:45:19.590 --> 0:45:21.990 Yeah. With purpose. Okay. Uh. She does. Uh. Oh. 0:45:23.190 --> 0:45:25.110 Yeah. Well, that's the best one. With purpose. 0:45:25.150 --> 0:45:28.710 With purpose? Sometimes. The first time I caught it on camera, 0:45:28.750 --> 0:45:30.629 she was sitting in her high chair, and she was 0:45:30.630 --> 0:45:33.669 hanging her milk bottle over the side and was looking 0:45:33.670 --> 0:45:36.190 at me and going, uh oh. And I said, you 0:45:36.190 --> 0:45:37.830 can't say you haven't dropped it yet. And then she 0:45:37.830 --> 0:45:40.750 dropped it and went, uh oh. And, uh. 0:45:40.870 --> 0:45:41.069 Told. 0:45:41.070 --> 0:45:41.710 Me to drop. 0:45:41.710 --> 0:45:42.070 It. 0:45:42.310 --> 0:45:44.989 And now just recently she got bubble. She got. So 0:45:44.989 --> 0:45:47.950 when she wants us to blow bubbles outside or inside, 0:45:47.950 --> 0:45:49.990 she'll she'll say, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. 0:45:50.270 --> 0:45:50.550 Oh. 0:45:50.989 --> 0:45:54.790 I'm I, I look forward for you to the day 0:45:54.910 --> 0:45:57.190 when you and your daughter. 0:45:57.230 --> 0:45:57.590 Yeah. 0:45:57.750 --> 0:46:00.390 Have, like, real conversations. 0:46:00.430 --> 0:46:01.430 Oh, I know. Yeah. 0:46:01.469 --> 0:46:04.750 And she starts asking you questions about life. 0:46:04.790 --> 0:46:05.910 It's going to be so much fun. 0:46:05.910 --> 0:46:09.840 Why? Why? She starts Asking you with y y. 0:46:10.640 --> 0:46:13.040 You know, I'm I'm a little bit ahead of you. 0:46:13.080 --> 0:46:17.640 My daughter is almost 16, and I hear the conversations 0:46:17.640 --> 0:46:22.120 that she has with her dad lately involve usually the 0:46:22.160 --> 0:46:25.040 purchase of clothing from Hollister or Lululemon. 0:46:25.160 --> 0:46:25.600 Yeah. 0:46:25.840 --> 0:46:27.200 Dad, can I have money? 0:46:28.480 --> 0:46:29.560 And dad's going y. 0:46:29.640 --> 0:46:30.640 I can't wait for that. 0:46:31.000 --> 0:46:34.000 So now dad's become fewer words. Can we. 0:46:34.000 --> 0:46:34.839 Go to Back to. 0:46:34.880 --> 0:46:36.840 Bubble? Yeah. That's awesome. 0:46:37.080 --> 0:46:41.480 There's something special about that dad daughter relationship. Coming up, 0:46:41.480 --> 0:46:46.400 we've got a special guest who's got some coaching dad's struggles. 0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:50.640 Sometimes with the conversation. Yeah, it gets complicated. And your 0:46:50.640 --> 0:46:54.680 daughter has questions and lots of words and stories. And 0:46:54.719 --> 0:46:58.840 you want to connect with her whether she's 8 or 18. 0:46:59.400 --> 0:47:01.520 Our special guest is going to help you with that. 0:47:01.920 --> 0:47:04.919 You're listening to Curl and Crew on Moody Radio. 0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:08.320 Well, we've got Father's Day coming up. Quick reminder Father's 0:47:08.320 --> 0:47:10.680 Day on Sunday. You know when you when you picture 0:47:10.719 --> 0:47:13.719 a dad, sometimes you picture a dad out throwing a ball, 0:47:14.320 --> 0:47:18.600 playing basketball or playing catch. Sometimes, though, it can be 0:47:18.600 --> 0:47:21.960 more of a struggle for a dad to connect with 0:47:21.960 --> 0:47:26.160 his daughter. Want to introduce you to Doctor Michelle Watson Canfield, 0:47:26.160 --> 0:47:29.160 our guest this morning. You have devoted much of your 0:47:29.160 --> 0:47:32.960 ministry to helping dads and daughters connect, which is a 0:47:32.960 --> 0:47:36.319 very a very unique and specific kind of niche that 0:47:36.320 --> 0:47:39.439 you've come upon. How did it get started? Why did 0:47:39.440 --> 0:47:41.920 this become something that you were so interested in helping 0:47:41.920 --> 0:47:43.000 dads and daughters? 0:47:43.040 --> 0:47:45.759 I am the oldest of four daughters, so that's the 0:47:45.760 --> 0:47:49.400 first layer. And then secondly, I have been mentoring, I 0:47:49.440 --> 0:47:52.480 would say teenagers and 20 something since I was 19 0:47:52.680 --> 0:47:55.160 and I'm now 63. So do the math. A long 0:47:55.200 --> 0:47:58.000 time that I would say really having a finger on 0:47:58.000 --> 0:48:00.840 the pulse of things that daughters are saying and needing. 0:48:01.000 --> 0:48:05.600 And then I have been a licensed clinical professional counselor since, 0:48:06.040 --> 0:48:08.200 oh my goodness, the 90s. So I've been doing that 0:48:08.200 --> 0:48:10.759 almost three decades. And so what I would say is 0:48:10.760 --> 0:48:14.080 being in the trenches with women, with girls that so 0:48:14.080 --> 0:48:16.719 often are saying, I want more from my dad. And 0:48:16.719 --> 0:48:19.120 I find that dads sometimes say, well, I don't even 0:48:19.120 --> 0:48:21.279 know what you need. Tell me. And daughters are like, 0:48:21.280 --> 0:48:23.359 I don't know how to tell you. And then I 0:48:23.400 --> 0:48:27.560 just am all about helping equip dads to dial into 0:48:27.560 --> 0:48:28.640 their daughters hearts. 0:48:29.000 --> 0:48:32.560 Is it too much of a generalization to say that 0:48:32.560 --> 0:48:35.920 dads maybe struggle more to connect with their daughters than 0:48:35.920 --> 0:48:39.800 they do to their sons? Is that too, too broad brush, 0:48:39.800 --> 0:48:41.800 or is that what you've seen to be true? 0:48:42.200 --> 0:48:45.760 Oh, I've definitely seen that to be true. Especially as 0:48:45.760 --> 0:48:49.560 daughters are growing older and become two things become more 0:48:49.560 --> 0:48:53.839 emotional and more verbal. And oftentimes that's where dads will 0:48:53.840 --> 0:48:57.240 step back. They'll think that it's wisdom to say, here, mom, 0:48:57.239 --> 0:49:00.840 you go in, you're a girl. You understand girls. But 0:49:00.840 --> 0:49:03.760 I'm telling you, dads, your daughters need you even more 0:49:04.000 --> 0:49:07.839 during those phases of their development because their identity is 0:49:07.880 --> 0:49:10.920 being shaped as they hear from you and look at 0:49:10.920 --> 0:49:14.799 you for feedback. Telling them that they're beautiful, just the 0:49:14.800 --> 0:49:18.000 way they look, that they're made in the image of God, 0:49:18.040 --> 0:49:20.360 and he has a purpose and a design for them, 0:49:20.360 --> 0:49:23.920 even if they're getting other messages outside your home. 0:49:24.120 --> 0:49:28.120 What are the real benefits for a young woman from 0:49:28.120 --> 0:49:31.120 having that strong relationship with her dad? 0:49:31.239 --> 0:49:31.719 Well, the. 0:49:31.719 --> 0:49:36.400 Overarching answer is every area of your daughter's life. Dad 0:49:36.600 --> 0:49:40.560 will be better if she feels connected to you. And 0:49:40.560 --> 0:49:43.120 we look at Scripture where God says in Malachi four 0:49:43.160 --> 0:49:46.520 six again in Luke 117 that that going back to 0:49:46.520 --> 0:49:49.040 this idea of a heart turning, God says, if the 0:49:49.040 --> 0:49:52.240 hearts of fathers don't turn, he doesn't say, the head's right. 0:49:52.280 --> 0:49:55.920 He says, the hearts. If the hearts of fathers don't 0:49:55.960 --> 0:49:58.680 turn to their children and children to their fathers, I'll 0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:00.279 come and strike the land with a curse. And I 0:50:00.280 --> 0:50:02.239 don't think we have to look very far, do we, 0:50:02.280 --> 0:50:04.850 to see the effects of the curse. So back to 0:50:04.890 --> 0:50:08.450 this idea of what benefits are there to a daughter 0:50:08.450 --> 0:50:11.890 when her father's heart is turned toward her and she 0:50:11.890 --> 0:50:15.330 feels connected? She'll get better grades in school. She's more 0:50:15.330 --> 0:50:18.649 likely to finish high school and attend college. She'll have 0:50:18.650 --> 0:50:23.969 less body dissatisfaction and healthier weight. She'll have greater self-esteem. 0:50:24.370 --> 0:50:29.210 Dads love this one. She'll delay her sexual debut. And 0:50:29.250 --> 0:50:31.730 on and on it goes. But your daughter will be 0:50:31.730 --> 0:50:35.529 healthier and stronger and more confident when she feels connected 0:50:35.530 --> 0:50:37.010 to you as her dad. 0:50:37.489 --> 0:50:41.649 What are the most common mistakes that you see dads make? 0:50:41.690 --> 0:50:44.970 Because I know that there are lots of Christian fathers 0:50:44.969 --> 0:50:48.370 listening and they have the really great intentions. It's not 0:50:48.370 --> 0:50:51.410 that they don't want to connect with their daughter. Where's 0:50:51.410 --> 0:50:53.850 the biggest area where dads tend to miss the boat 0:50:53.850 --> 0:50:54.370 on it? 0:50:54.450 --> 0:50:55.530 I would say probably. 0:50:55.570 --> 0:50:58.050 The first thing is, is they run out of energy 0:50:58.050 --> 0:50:59.170 to keep listening. 0:50:59.530 --> 0:51:00.330 Until she's. 0:51:00.330 --> 0:51:00.770 Done. 0:51:01.530 --> 0:51:04.410 You know, I have to laugh because I have a daughter. 0:51:04.410 --> 0:51:07.529 And one thing that my husband will. He will often 0:51:07.890 --> 0:51:11.410 say that sometimes it gets challenging for him to continue 0:51:11.410 --> 0:51:14.969 to listen, and he he does start to wear out 0:51:15.010 --> 0:51:17.610 a little bit. So I have to laugh because I 0:51:17.610 --> 0:51:19.450 didn't realize that that was a thing. 0:51:19.690 --> 0:51:21.410 Yes, it's a thing. Which is funny. 0:51:21.410 --> 0:51:24.570 Because my my second book called You know, Let's Talk 0:51:24.610 --> 0:51:28.089 Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters. And my husband said, 0:51:28.090 --> 0:51:31.450 I really could have called it let's Talk and Listen, 0:51:31.730 --> 0:51:35.850 because it's so hard for dads to keep listening because 0:51:35.850 --> 0:51:38.850 they're like, get to the point already. Like, this. 0:51:38.850 --> 0:51:39.130 Is. 0:51:39.330 --> 0:51:41.650 And I'm saying, dad, just know that we as women 0:51:41.650 --> 0:51:44.370 figure things out by talking. We don't often know what 0:51:44.370 --> 0:51:47.290 we want to say until we say it. And so 0:51:47.330 --> 0:51:50.490 by you giving your daughter the gift of your attention, 0:51:50.530 --> 0:51:53.810 leaning in, putting down the remote, turning your ringer off, 0:51:53.850 --> 0:51:57.690 putting your phone away and leaning in to listen, nodding 0:51:57.690 --> 0:52:02.569 your head. Active. Listening. Your daughter is internalizing a message 0:52:02.570 --> 0:52:06.250 that they have value, and your daughter will come to 0:52:06.290 --> 0:52:10.770 internalize that perspective, that she's worthy of your time, worthy 0:52:10.770 --> 0:52:15.009 of your attention, worthy of being listened to because her 0:52:15.010 --> 0:52:17.569 voice matters, and you want her voice out in the 0:52:17.570 --> 0:52:20.810 world to have impact. And it can start with you, dad. 0:52:20.850 --> 0:52:25.090 Doctor Michelle Watson Canfield, our guest, licensed professional counselor, national speaker, 0:52:25.090 --> 0:52:28.370 and author. Coming up, let's get some practical help for dads. 0:52:28.370 --> 0:52:30.890 And maybe we'll throw grandpa's in there as well. You 0:52:30.890 --> 0:52:33.170 want to connect with your daughter? What are some practical 0:52:33.170 --> 0:52:37.009 tools that you can use today to get the conversation 0:52:37.010 --> 0:52:40.690 going or restart it if maybe it's gone quiet? More 0:52:40.690 --> 0:52:41.250 coming up. 0:52:41.650 --> 0:52:44.370 Your shot of hope to help you through the day. 0:52:44.650 --> 0:52:47.770 This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:52:47.930 --> 0:52:50.450 We are headed towards Father's Day and we've got some 0:52:50.450 --> 0:52:53.529 help for dads who want to make a deeper, more 0:52:53.570 --> 0:52:57.250 profound impact in connection with their daughters. Our guest, Doctor 0:52:57.250 --> 0:53:01.940 Michelle Watson Canfield, a licensed professional counselor national speaker, author 0:53:01.940 --> 0:53:05.379 of Let's Talk Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters. Let's 0:53:05.380 --> 0:53:08.259 get practical. What's something that a dad? One thing that 0:53:08.260 --> 0:53:11.860 a dad listening or even a grandpa listening today can 0:53:11.860 --> 0:53:14.940 do to connect with their daughter or their granddaughter? 0:53:14.980 --> 0:53:17.180 You are a woman after my own heart, Allie. Because 0:53:17.219 --> 0:53:19.700 you and I are like, we. We don't just want talk. 0:53:19.700 --> 0:53:22.419 We want action. Right? And so we're we're like, dad, 0:53:22.420 --> 0:53:24.739 don't just tell me you love me. Show me you 0:53:24.739 --> 0:53:27.739 love me. And so, dad, I have so many practical 0:53:27.739 --> 0:53:29.940 action steps up my sleeve. That's what I talk about 0:53:29.980 --> 0:53:32.460 on the Dad Whisperer podcast is dads are like, here's 0:53:32.460 --> 0:53:36.100 an action step. So, dad, go out today. Either open 0:53:36.100 --> 0:53:37.660 your drawer or go to the store and buy a 0:53:37.660 --> 0:53:41.339 dry erase marker and a package of sticky notes. And 0:53:41.340 --> 0:53:43.140 what I want you to commit to is by the 0:53:43.140 --> 0:53:46.500 end of today, I want you to write a message, 0:53:46.900 --> 0:53:51.180 a loving message and affirming message. A validating message on 0:53:51.180 --> 0:53:54.620 your daughter's mirror of her bedroom or her bathroom. Her 0:53:54.620 --> 0:53:57.939 car mirror. And if you don't live somewhere where your 0:53:57.940 --> 0:54:00.500 daughter's at, you can do it on your mirror. Take 0:54:00.500 --> 0:54:02.620 a picture and send it to her or put it 0:54:02.620 --> 0:54:05.100 on sticky notes. You can just say, I love you. 0:54:05.100 --> 0:54:08.259 I'm praying for you. I'm so glad to be your dad. 0:54:08.500 --> 0:54:11.660 You are one of a kind. You're beautiful to me. 0:54:11.980 --> 0:54:15.100 Put that on notes on your daughter's mirror. Because when 0:54:15.100 --> 0:54:18.420 we look in the mirror as women, we see every flaw. 0:54:18.780 --> 0:54:23.700 And you don't. So imagine the power of your message, 0:54:23.739 --> 0:54:28.259 your voice, your truth, countering what she hears in her 0:54:28.260 --> 0:54:31.180 head as she looks in her mirror. What do you think? Ali? 0:54:31.180 --> 0:54:32.260 Do you think that would make a difference? 0:54:32.300 --> 0:54:35.620 I think that would absolutely make a difference. Now, obviously 0:54:35.780 --> 0:54:38.340 the best time to start with this is when you're 0:54:38.380 --> 0:54:41.459 when your girls are really young. And so for the 0:54:41.460 --> 0:54:43.980 dad of a, you know, of a toddler who gets 0:54:43.980 --> 0:54:46.500 to go into it armed with this kind of information. 0:54:46.500 --> 0:54:49.300 But what about the dad whose kids are much older, 0:54:49.300 --> 0:54:52.060 and maybe there's a teen daughter, even an adult daughter, 0:54:52.060 --> 0:54:54.180 and they're going, I wish I would have heard this earlier. 0:54:54.500 --> 0:54:55.660 Is it too late? 0:54:55.940 --> 0:54:59.540 No, it's never too late, dad. Never too late. And again, 0:54:59.580 --> 0:55:02.980 having been in really, I would say sacred space with 0:55:02.980 --> 0:55:06.980 women for over four decades, I've never one time had 0:55:06.980 --> 0:55:10.219 any teenager or young woman or older woman say it 0:55:10.219 --> 0:55:13.220 was too late. Dad, if you come with humility and say, 0:55:13.380 --> 0:55:15.500 I'm so sorry I haven't been the dad that you've 0:55:15.540 --> 0:55:18.219 needed me to be to you, you can ask her 0:55:18.219 --> 0:55:21.700 three questions. One. On a scale of 0 to 10, 0:55:22.020 --> 0:55:25.740 how close do you feel we are? How connected? Number two, 0:55:26.420 --> 0:55:31.780 what could I do to be a better dad to you? Like, 0:55:31.820 --> 0:55:33.819 what do you need from me? You're not telling her 0:55:33.820 --> 0:55:37.299 to change. You're saying, what do you need from me? 0:55:37.300 --> 0:55:39.420 And then, number three, you take action. Let's set a 0:55:39.420 --> 0:55:42.500 time today, just you and me, to go out. And 0:55:42.500 --> 0:55:44.779 that's why in in my book, let's talk. I have 0:55:44.780 --> 0:55:48.380 60 conversation starters so that dads don't ever have to 0:55:48.420 --> 0:55:50.940 worry that they don't know what to say or ask 0:55:51.140 --> 0:55:54.300 to draw her out. And so it's lead her to laugh. 0:55:54.340 --> 0:55:57.980 Lead her to love. Lead her to look. Lament. Getting 0:55:57.980 --> 0:56:01.820 into harder conversations in the last section lead her to listen. Dad, 0:56:01.860 --> 0:56:04.540 you can hand your daughter the book so she can 0:56:04.540 --> 0:56:08.140 ask you questions about your life. And so it's all 0:56:08.140 --> 0:56:12.180 about bonding, connecting, and talking so that you, with older 0:56:12.180 --> 0:56:16.180 daughters especially, can build and strengthen the bond between you. 0:56:16.420 --> 0:56:19.580 Doctor Michelle Watson Canfield, our guest this morning. How can 0:56:19.620 --> 0:56:22.780 moms use this book, whether they're single moms? Or maybe 0:56:22.780 --> 0:56:25.420 they just want to enhance their own relationship with their 0:56:25.420 --> 0:56:27.100 daughter alongside dad? 0:56:27.140 --> 0:56:29.700 You know, the book, even though it's written for dads 0:56:29.700 --> 0:56:34.140 and daughters, it's also for moms and sons, moms and daughters, 0:56:34.140 --> 0:56:37.779 dads and sons. Because many of the questions are really 0:56:37.780 --> 0:56:40.859 they're not gender specific. And so if you're asking your 0:56:40.860 --> 0:56:45.660 daughter questions about depression or anxiety or cyberbullying or same 0:56:45.700 --> 0:56:49.460 sex attraction, some of those harder right, harder topics to 0:56:49.500 --> 0:56:53.300 delve into. Dad, the more you can ask questions and 0:56:53.340 --> 0:56:57.100 and help your daughter or your son and mom again 0:56:57.100 --> 0:57:02.060 to your kids, this is about interpersonal conversations and strengthening 0:57:02.380 --> 0:57:05.980 the bond as we talk and open up and are vulnerable. 0:57:06.180 --> 0:57:09.660 And so absolutely, moms, you can use this book to 0:57:09.860 --> 0:57:12.460 to strengthen your relationship with your daughter or your son. 0:57:12.860 --> 0:57:16.180 Now, obviously as parents, mother and father, we want to 0:57:16.220 --> 0:57:19.740 ultimately point our kids to the Lord. How important is 0:57:19.740 --> 0:57:24.100 it as we are fostering these relationships and particularly for dads, 0:57:24.660 --> 0:57:27.140 how much of this relates to the relationship that your 0:57:27.140 --> 0:57:29.100 daughter will ultimately have with the Lord? 0:57:29.140 --> 0:57:31.660 That's a power packed question, isn't it? Because we all 0:57:31.660 --> 0:57:35.140 know that God Himself is called father. And I think 0:57:35.180 --> 0:57:38.020 most dads I've talked to say, why is he? Why 0:57:38.020 --> 0:57:40.820 is he looking to me as a human, to represent 0:57:40.820 --> 0:57:44.620 him as a father like that? And dads, I agree. 0:57:44.660 --> 0:57:48.580 What a responsibility and what a weight because you can't 0:57:48.580 --> 0:57:51.460 do it on your own, right? John 15 apart from God, 0:57:51.460 --> 0:57:55.310 you can do nothing anyway. Yes, but in Luke 1520 0:57:55.350 --> 0:57:58.150 right there in the middle of the Prodigal Son chapter. Dad, 0:57:58.150 --> 0:58:01.350 go back and read that chapter because there's there's it's 0:58:01.350 --> 0:58:03.510 all red letter where Jesus is saying, here's what my 0:58:03.510 --> 0:58:05.830 dad is like. And if you're a dad that says, 0:58:05.830 --> 0:58:08.190 I don't know how to represent God as a father 0:58:08.190 --> 0:58:11.030 to my daughter, there's five things that father does. It's 0:58:11.030 --> 0:58:14.510 all in one verse, verse 20. He's filled with compassion 0:58:15.310 --> 0:58:21.150 as he sees his child, runs toward his child, embraces 0:58:21.270 --> 0:58:24.870 and then kisses. Those are five action steps, dad, that 0:58:24.870 --> 0:58:28.990 you can rely on being solid action steps because Jesus 0:58:28.990 --> 0:58:33.630 himself said, this is how my dad approaches his kids 0:58:33.630 --> 0:58:35.270 and that's how you can approach yours. 0:58:35.590 --> 0:58:39.390 Doctor Michelle Watson Canfield You can find more Doctor Michelle 0:58:39.390 --> 0:58:45.190 Watson Doctor just abbreviated doctor Doctor Michelle Watson. The book 0:58:45.350 --> 0:58:49.710 is called Let's Talk Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters. Michelle, 0:58:49.710 --> 0:58:52.590 thanks for being with us today. This is good stuff 0:58:52.750 --> 0:58:54.870 for dads who want to connect with their girls.