S1: Forgiveness is a dialogue and sorry is a monologue. In
S1: other words, I'm sorry. There's nothing else to say about
S1: this thing, but forgive me. Now I've included you, and
S1: now it's going to take a dialogue for us to
S1: deal with what the issue is.
S2: You're listening to Treasure Truth with pastor and author James
S2: Ford Jr. Senior pastor of the Christ Bible Church in Chicago.
S2: I'm Steve Hillard. Glad you're with us today. We're going
S2: to double back to a topic of forgiveness. If you're
S2: a regular listener of this program, you might remember a
S2: couple of months ago we had a series on Joseph,
S2: and we got into the topic of forgiveness. And today,
S2: pastor kind of boomeranging back to Genesis 50 and dealing
S2: with this topic of forgiveness. You said that it's far
S2: better to say, forgive me than I'm sorry. Why is that?
S1: Well, basically, because I'm sorry. Isn't that biblical? Okay.
S2: Forgiveness isn't saying I'm sorry.
S1: Emotion.
S2: Okay.
S1: Forgiveness is more volitional. Forgiveness is a dialogue. Sorry is
S1: a monologue. What do you say after sorry. Yeah. You know,
S1: there's nothing to be said. But if you said, forgive
S1: me now you've integrated that person into the dialogue. You see,
S1: you know. And the reason we come back to this theme,
S1: it's one of the hardest things for any believer to do.
S1: As a matter of fact, I'm going to go on
S1: record as saying there are some things that people do
S1: to us that's impossible for us to forgive. So then
S1: how do we forgive? Well, just like anything else, we
S1: need to understand that the power to perform is in
S1: the precept pontificated say, huh? What did you just say?
S2: A lot of big words.
S1: Peter says, Lord, if that's you, let me play. So,
S1: you know, he's saying, you name it, I'll claim it.
S1: Jesus says, Come, Peter, who did not have the power
S1: to walk on water, walked on water by the power
S1: of one word from Jesus Christ. Yeah. In other words,
S1: what I'm trying to say is this it is his
S1: word that comes. The Bible is called a seed. Seed
S1: has power to germinate within itself, so that when I
S1: want to walk in obedience to God, the things that
S1: are impossible for me are possible with him, because I
S1: use my faith to activate. So I don't know how
S1: many times I've said, Lord, I just don't have the
S1: capacity to forgive for this. But you told me in
S1: Ephesians chapter four verse 32, you said, forgive one another,
S1: even as God, for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Now
S1: I need you to activate that in my life. Empower
S1: me to forgive.
S2: And that's a process that depending on what that wound is,
S2: you may need to go through time and time and
S2: time again.
S1: Of course. Well, here's what you realize. Forgiveness is volitional.
S1: Healing is emotional. So forgiveness is punctilio. What does that mean?
S1: Point in time, I make a decision. But the healing
S1: process is ongoing. And so I may have forgiven you.
S1: Maybe I just haven't been totally healed emotionally. Even when
S1: I've forgiven you. Volitionally.
S2: Well, that's part of what we're going to be looking
S2: at in today's broadcast. If you can join us in
S2: the book of Genesis, we're in chapter 50 as we
S2: begin a message that's entitled When I'm Sorry Isn't Enough.
S2: Here is Pastor Ford.
S1: Jesus Christ's first words, father, forgive them, for they know
S1: not what they do. And we said he is the
S1: model for us. Why? Because He is God in the
S1: flesh who died and was buried and rose again the
S1: third day according to the scriptures. And so Jesus died
S1: so that we could get to heaven. And Jesus lives
S1: to get heaven in us, because quite frankly, there's too
S1: much hell in too many now, not at this service,
S1: but at that early service. There's some folk that are
S1: believers that got too much of that other person in them,
S1: rather than Jesus Christ. Nobody in here. Uh, so how
S1: do we deal with this? Because often we don't want
S1: to do things God's way. I mean, he's a God
S1: of order. And do you know that people get upset
S1: about rules and regulations when they are guiding you and
S1: guarding you and gracing you and growing you? That you know,
S1: the difference between a river and a swamp is that
S1: a river has Boundaries and a swamp does not. So now. Now,
S1: here's the last thing we covered when we said this
S1: is what we do. If we want to see the
S1: divine model, we see the Lord Jesus Christ. But come on,
S1: let's get real. I mean, He's God in the flesh.
S1: He could do it. You know, uh, I do have
S1: God in me, but I just don't have enough of him. Well,
S1: then we have the human example is Joseph. Let's walk through,
S1: because the the dominant theme of the text is really
S1: how to forgive people like Jesus. And so we said
S1: that Joseph teaches us how to forgive. What's the first
S1: thing he did? He released them from their guilt. Now, see,
S1: when we've done something against somebody, we ought to feel guilty.
S1: But long after we have been forgiven. The devil likes
S1: to use guilt so that we don't forgive ourselves. And
S1: so Joseph released them from their guilt. We ain't got
S1: time to go over everything because I want to make
S1: sure I finish everything tonight. Pray for a brother. Then secondly,
S1: he refused to get even. Who is he now? He's
S1: big baller, shot caller. He's the one that's in charge.
S1: He got the. He has Pharaoh's signet ring. Do you
S1: know what that means? That. That he can sign some things.
S1: And it's seen as if Pharaoh did it. Same power,
S1: even though he's second in command and I. It's not
S1: on my notes. But I tell you what's hard to
S1: find in a church, a good second. Everybody want to
S1: be first, a good second. And you look at, you
S1: look at, look at some of the greatest seconds in
S1: the Bible, Joseph a great second. And remember, it was
S1: his destiny to be second. And then who was another one?
S1: Tell me another one, Daniel. Joshua. You know, and so
S1: let me just say it. I don't know why, because
S1: it ain't even on my notes. I didn't intend to
S1: say it, but you can't be over who you're supposed
S1: to be over until you get under who you're supposed
S1: to be under. If you ain't fit, if you don't
S1: know how to follow, you aren't fit to lead. I
S1: know you heard it before. I just need to remind you. Amen. Amen.
S1: Follow your leader. They're taking directions as God is leading them. Amen.
S1: I'm talking about the other leaders. Because I ain't worried
S1: about you following me. Because I'm gonna knock you out
S1: if you don't. Just kidding. Just kidding, just kidding. Yeah.
S1: And so he refused to get even. He could have,
S1: but he didn't. Third thing he did, he reminded them
S1: of God's sovereignty in their life. You meant it for evil.
S1: God meant it for good. You always have to have
S1: on the glasses. That gives you God's perspective, and that
S1: is with the Word of God. The trouble I'm going
S1: through is for the future. I'm going to that I
S1: always have to remember that God is sovereign and that
S1: it's either God authorized or God allowed. Which means then
S1: I'm going to benefit from this or oh, I'm in pain.
S1: I don't like this, but I'm going to grow from
S1: this because if I go in it with the mentality
S1: of what are you trying to teach me, God, what
S1: are you trying to show me? How are you trying
S1: to grow me? And if it's nothing else, because some
S1: of y'all know what I'm talking about. There's people who
S1: did things to you before you got saved, and people
S1: did it after you got saved. If they didn't met
S1: you before you got saved, you'd have slapped the black
S1: off of them. You discussed them until their ears bleed.
S1: Now you just say, well, praise the Lord. God is
S1: good and vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord. Uh,
S1: number four, he reaffirmed his care for them. You have
S1: to look in the text. you'll find it. He reaffirmed
S1: his care for them. Then number five, he restored his
S1: relationship with them. Now remember our message out of acts
S1: 15 and we talked about what you lose when you
S1: don't forgive. And we looked at Paul and Barnabas and
S1: their separation and all those things. You got to get
S1: the tape on it. I ain't got time to go
S1: back on that. And then lastly, we saw he refused
S1: to dwell upon their past offenses. If they hadn't have
S1: brought it up, it would have never came up, because
S1: Joseph wasn't that kind of believer in Yahweh. We don't
S1: always let somebody know you hurt me before. Oh, I remember,
S1: I remember. Mhm. Just like it was yesterday. Mhm. Get
S1: me once it's on you get me twice. It's on me.
S1: Mm mm. And so we want to move on and
S1: we want to talk about when I'm sorry is not
S1: good enough. Let's pray. Father, we thank you. And we
S1: ask that you'll teach us what Joseph's brothers teach us
S1: how to get forgiveness. Amen. There was a woman with
S1: 14 children, ages one through 14, and she went to
S1: the judge. She said, I want to sue my husband
S1: for divorce. He said, on what grounds? She said desertion.
S1: Judge said, wait a minute. Desertion? How long ago did
S1: he desert you? She said 14 years ago. She said,
S1: wait a minute, wait a minute. You came in here
S1: with 14 children. He deserted you 14 years ago. How
S1: did you get the 14 children? She said, well, every
S1: year he come back and say he was sorry. See,
S1: in that case, saying sorry wasn't good enough.
S2: You're listening to Treasure Truth, and that is the title
S2: of this message. When sorry isn't enough. Really. Look at
S2: Genesis chapter 50 today, and we're going to get back
S2: to this teaching from Pastor Ford in just one moment. Hey,
S2: if his teaching has ever helped you with something specific
S2: in your life, like maybe your marriage, your finances, or salvation,
S2: would you let us know your story? You can visit
S2: the contact page of our website and let us know
S2: how the Lord has used this program to bless your life.
S2: Just come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. Another
S2: way to give us some feedback is through social media.
S2: When you stop by the website and go to the
S2: Stay Connected bar, you'll find links there to our Facebook page,
S2: our Twitter feed, and a link that will allow you
S2: to download the Moody Radio app. Again, just come to
S2: Treasure Truth radio.org and look for Stay Connected. Let's get
S2: back to the message again. Here's Pastor Ford.
S1: One of the most humbling and one of the most
S1: heartbreaking experiences I've ever had in counseling is talking to
S1: battered women. Now, I can't do a dissertation of it,
S1: but I mention it because I heard these two words
S1: more than anything. When I say, why do you subject
S1: yourself to that? Now, there's all kinds of reasons. There's
S1: financial reasons, there's children involved, there's all these kind of things.
S1: But I say when it first happened, when it first happened,
S1: and you should have been prepared for it because physical
S1: abuse is never first. It's always emotional, social, financial, etc..
S1: So that should have told you it was on the way.
S1: And I say when it first happened, why didn't you
S1: saturate the place with your absence? Why didn't you get
S1: up out of there? Because the next day he brought
S1: me flowers and he said, I'm sorry. I heard that
S1: so often. I started crying before I even hear the words.
S1: He said he was sorry. And many of us, uh,
S1: if we understand the Bible, we know that sorry isn't
S1: good enough. What's the difference? Let me give you as
S1: much as I can. A distinction because sometimes we use
S1: them and give them the same meaning. Sometimes we use
S1: them in tandem. I'm sorry. Forgive me, but technically, can
S1: we get technical for a minute? Technically, let me tell
S1: you what's going on. When you say I'm sorry, it
S1: has to do with human emotion. When you say please
S1: forgive me. It has to do with volition. When you
S1: say I'm sorry, you make it personal. It's isolated just
S1: to you. I'm sorry. But when you say, please forgive me,
S1: you have now included that person that fills the offense
S1: in it and now you have set up. There has
S1: to be some kind of dialogue because forgiveness is a
S1: dialogue and sorry is a monologue. In other words, I'm sorry.
S1: There's nothing else to say about this thing, but forgive me.
S1: Now I've included you and now it's going to take
S1: a dialogue for us to deal with what the issue is.
S1: And so I'm sorry it's emotional all about you. But
S1: forgive me is volitional all about us. So then when
S1: you say please forgive me, you are taking responsibility for
S1: the action. Non-action or trans action. Let me say that again.
S1: When you say forgive me, you are taking responsibility for
S1: the action or non-action or trans action that caused an offense. Now,
S1: keep in mind, because I know what you're thinking. I'm
S1: reading your mind. Remember what I said to you a
S1: couple of times already? Why is it when someone does
S1: something to us, we focus on their actions, but when
S1: we do something to somebody else, we focus on our intentions.
S1: So that when somebody says when we say to somebody,
S1: you know you hurt me. Well, I didn't mean to.
S1: You hurt me. Don't tell me you didn't mean to.
S1: It hurt. But when somebody says you hurt me, it
S1: wasn't intentional. Oh, that's supposed to be okay. When it's
S1: with me. And so. No. No. See? I'm sorry. And
S1: may even deal with intention. But please forgive me. Says
S1: something I did, whether right or wrong, offended you. I
S1: need to get that cleared up. I may not see
S1: it the way you see it, because we don't all
S1: see things the same way. What's important to you may
S1: not be important to me, but because it's important to you,
S1: if I violate it, I've offended you. And so I
S1: need to ask for forgiveness. So sorry is a monologue.
S1: Forgiveness necessitates a dialogue. Now, now, let me give you
S1: this quote. I forgot to write down his name because
S1: I was just writing it so fast. But it's a quote.
S1: I didn't say this. It's a quote, but I love it.
S1: It summarizes what I just told you. Quote. When you
S1: say forgive me, you acknowledge that what you did was
S1: wrong and you regret it. But sorry is a casual
S1: way of saying what you did was not intentional. Example.
S1: I'm texting and walking and bump into you. Sorry. My bad.
S1: In other words, it wasn't intentional. Don't get all upset
S1: about this. It wasn't nothing important. But if I stole
S1: your smartphone and you caught me and I said, please
S1: forgive me, then what I'm saying is, what I did
S1: was intentional. What I did was purposeful. And that's what
S1: forgiveness is all about. And remember what the word forgiveness means.
S1: What does it mean? Let it go. Let it go.
S1: Let it go. And so then that cross over there
S1: is filled with offenses that people did against us. I
S1: read them all. I read them all. There are over
S1: altogether 600 of those little notes. Do you know how
S1: many people asked for power to ask somebody to forgive
S1: them what they did to them? Two people. You mean
S1: to tell me in a congregation with 600 sticky notes
S1: on it, about $800 together, if you could get them
S1: all there on one Sunday, which will never happen. Only
S1: two people have ever offended somebody, I guess, like me
S1: and you. Everybody else ain't never offended anybody. But listen,
S1: just like you need to forgive people, you going to
S1: need somebody to forgive you. And that's why Jesus said,
S1: when you pray, pray, father, forgive our trespasses as as
S1: is a simile, like an as in proportion to, in
S1: direct relationship to. In other words, if I don't learn
S1: how to forgive people, Lord, don't you forgive me? And
S1: that's the one we're going to talk about next week,
S1: Micah seven, where God says what he did with our
S1: sins and how he forgave us. And so what did
S1: these brothers do now? Look at Genesis. Genesis 50. Let
S1: me read, beginning at verse 14. And after he had
S1: buried his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his
S1: brothers and all who went up with him to bury
S1: his fathers. When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead,
S1: they said, Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually
S1: repay us for all the evil we did to him.
S1: Now get this, get this now here's the first step. Uh,
S1: it is deep. This deep. Don't miss this. Here's the
S1: catalyst for acknowledging. So what's the first step? Acknowledge that
S1: you wronged the person. Acknowledge that you wronged the person. Now. Now,
S1: what's the catalyst for acknowledge the the person. Why is this?
S1: Some people won't ask for forgiveness. Now remember, think about this.
S1: The first step in acknowledgment took them. How many years?
S1: Anybody remember? Holler it out. Right. 17 years. So then
S1: they put them in the pit at 17. And then
S1: he's 34 sitting in power second in Pharaoh's court, which
S1: of course, Egypt was a world power, which means he's
S1: the second, not just in Egypt in all the world.
S1: Look at that. Just let me throw that out to
S1: some of you who've been dogged out and hated. Maybe
S1: God will use their hater ration for your elevation. That's
S1: what he did for Joseph. And so here. Now what happened?
S1: 17 years to admit to each other. Write it down.
S1: I don't have time to go through it. Genesis 4213
S1: through 24. And in verse 21, after, after Joseph begins
S1: to try to test them, to see if the relationship
S1: can be restored. Because remember, it only takes one to forgive,
S1: but it takes two to restore the relationship. Let me
S1: say it again. It only takes one to forgive. It
S1: takes two to restore the relationship. What do you mean
S1: by that, Pastor Ford? Once you've been forgiven, people say, well,
S1: you know, we ain't going to never be the same. Well,
S1: that's not true. Biblical forgiveness. Can I get an amen?
S1: Deacon Thomas, am I right about it? True biblical forgiveness
S1: is what God did for us. He didn't say, okay,
S1: now I'm going to forgive your sin, but I ain't
S1: going to have nothing to do with you no more. No,
S1: he got more to do with us after he forgives
S1: us of our sins than he did before he forgave
S1: us of our sins. And so, no, I don't want
S1: to hear that. And even preachers say it, you know. Well,
S1: it doesn't mean you're going to be restored. Relationship. I
S1: don't want to hear that. That ain't biblical. Restoration is
S1: always the goal. And so then what do you. What
S1: do you mean, Pastor Ford? That is if if you
S1: forgive me. And unlike Joseph's brothers, I don't do what
S1: I'm supposed to do to get forgiveness. You're straight and
S1: I'm not. And there will be no restoration of the
S1: relationship until I have the biblical response to the act
S1: of forgiveness. Everybody's been forgiven their sin. Amen. Then did
S1: Jesus die for everybody? Then how come everybody ain't saved?
S1: Because everybody doesn't accept it. That's why. So a pardon
S1: is not a pardon unless you accept it. And if
S1: I accept it, it means there are elements of things
S1: I must do well when he forgives you. Is it
S1: a work? No. The Bible tells me. For by grace
S1: you have been saved through faith. And that is a
S1: gift of God, not a result of works, lest any
S1: man should boast. In other words, now what I have
S1: to do put faith in the forgiveness that's based on
S1: the finished work of Jesus Christ on Calvary.
S2: You're listening to Treasure Truth with Pastor Ford. A message
S2: called When I'm Sorry Isn't Enough. Really? Look at Genesis
S2: chapter 50 and Joseph and his brothers, and we're going
S2: to continue this message on our next broadcast. But if
S2: you want to make sure that you're not missing Pastor
S2: Ford's teaching each day, you can always come to our
S2: website and listen online. Simply stop by Treasure Truth radio.org.
S2: There you can stream programs, download mp3's, or order copies
S2: of this broadcast on CD. Another way to listen. Go
S2: ahead and sign up to begin podcasting. The program really
S2: makes it convenient for you then to be able to
S2: listen whenever it fits your schedule. Just come to our website.
S2: It's Treasure Truth radio.org. They want to remind you that
S2: this is a listener supported ministry, and that is exactly
S2: what it sounds like. We depend not just on your
S2: prayer support, but also your financial support. It really is
S2: your giving that allows us to meet production costs, air
S2: time and everything that it takes to keep this ministry going.
S2: So if you're benefiting from Pastor Ford's teaching, not only
S2: would we be encouraged to hear about that, but I
S2: want to ask you to give a gift to support.
S2: Come to our website. It's Treasure Truth radio.org. And there
S2: you can click on Make a donation. We do need
S2: single one time gifts and ongoing monthly gifts. Again come
S2: to Treasure Truth radio.org and click on make a donation. Well,
S2: for our Bible teacher, Pastor James Ford Jr and our
S2: producers Amy Rios and Ryan McConaughey, I'm Steve Hiller. Thanks
S2: for listening. Treasure truth is a production of Moody Radio,
S2: a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.