1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,120 S1: Are you the parent of a special needs child? If so, 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,360 S1: it might not have been a journey. You chose it. 3 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,600 S1: Chose you. But if our guests today are correct, you are. 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,880 S1: You also probably did not expect the joy you would 5 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,840 S1: experience in this journey. Welcome to Chris Fabry live the 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,720 S1: program from the heart to the heart for the heart. 7 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,720 S1: Doctor Joe and Cindy Ferrini are going to join me today. 8 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,840 S1: And my hope is that whether you are on this 9 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,080 S1: journey of parenting a special needs child or you know 10 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,320 S1: somebody who is that, this will be a liberating conversation 11 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,080 S1: for you and will give you joy in the middle 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,320 S1: of all the questions and the struggles and everything that 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,760 S1: comes with real life. And we thank our team behind 14 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,599 S1: the scenes. Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical. Trish as 15 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,000 S1: our producer. Lisa's helping out. Josh will answer your calls. 16 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,960 S1: This Thursday is the National Day of Prayer, and there's 17 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,040 S1: no better portion of scripture to look at when you 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,240 S1: think of prayer than the Psalms. And my radio pal 19 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,800 S1: John Yeager says that in addition to helping us put 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:11,039 S1: words to the longing of our hearts, the Psalms give 21 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,840 S1: us a way to see ourselves and correct some of 22 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:19,440 S1: the self-talk. We often engage in the talk that we. 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,240 S1: Things we say to ourselves. That's not true. For example, 24 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,200 S1: if you feel hopeless today, the Psalms can show you 25 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,240 S1: where your true hope comes from. If you feel like 26 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,399 S1: God has forgotten you, you can gain courage from telling 27 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,200 S1: yourself the truth. Let me send you a copy of 28 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:40,520 S1: Powerful Self-Talk from the Psalms. It's our thank you right now. 29 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,679 S1: When you support us here at the Radio Backyard Fence, 30 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,360 S1: go to Chris Fabry live.org. Scroll down. You'll see how 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,200 S1: to get a copy of that. Give a gift of 32 00:01:49,200 --> 00:02:00,090 S1: any size. Chris Fabry live.org. Or here's the number 9532279. 33 00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,810 S1: Thank you for helping us out here in May with 34 00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:07,890 S1: your gift of support. Cindy Ferrini and her husband, Doctor 35 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:12,250 S1: Joe Ferrini, live in Cleveland, Ohio with one child at home. 36 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:15,209 S1: Two married daughters and their families live nearby. You may 37 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,570 S1: know them from their messages at the Family Life Weekend 38 00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:22,970 S1: to Remember seminar. They've spoken there for the last 20 years. 39 00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:27,970 S1: They've co-authored Unexpected Journey, When Special Needs Change Our Course 40 00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:34,570 S1: and Love Always embracing marriage together on the special needs journey. 41 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,610 S1: But but their latest is, and this is going to 42 00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:40,850 S1: be a game changer for somebody listening today. And we 43 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:43,770 S1: prayed for you before the program. If you are in 44 00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:46,609 S1: under a lot of stress and you feel like you're just, 45 00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,770 S1: you know, right at the end of your rope because 46 00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:51,210 S1: of what you're going through, here's a book that's going 47 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:54,490 S1: to help the special needs parent a guide to the 48 00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:59,890 S1: Life you Never expected. It's our featured resource. Chris fabry.org. 49 00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:03,010 S1: Cindy Jo, welcome to the program. How you two doing today? 50 00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:05,650 S2: Good, good good, good. How are you? 51 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:08,570 S1: I'm doing great and ready to get to talk. I've 52 00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:11,049 S1: been waiting for this because I've got so many questions. 53 00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:13,810 S1: So how long, Cindy? You first. How long have you 54 00:03:13,850 --> 00:03:15,130 S1: two been on this journey? 55 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:20,530 S2: Well, Joey is soon to be 45 years old. And 56 00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,010 S2: if you would have asked us way back in the 57 00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:25,330 S2: day when he was a little boy, if we thought 58 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:29,530 S2: we'd last this long, we probably would have said no. 59 00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:33,050 S2: I can't picture that for 45 years doing what we've 60 00:03:33,050 --> 00:03:35,530 S2: been doing, and I'm sure there's a lot of people 61 00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:37,650 S2: out there who are in the beginning of their journey 62 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,410 S2: looking like we did, thinking, I don't know how I'm 63 00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:42,250 S2: going to do this. Yeah. 64 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:46,490 S1: How about you, Joe, of how how has this journey? 65 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:49,690 S1: Did you did you expect a 45 year journey and 66 00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:50,450 S1: still counting? 67 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,690 S3: No, not at all. No. And of course, like every 68 00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:56,490 S3: married couple, when you first get married, You're thinking the big, 69 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,210 S3: wonderful things that were going to happen during your marriage. 70 00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:01,410 S3: And what I'd like to share a lot of times 71 00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:03,370 S3: is that, you know, when you walk after you said 72 00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,770 S3: I do, you walk down that aisle with a set 73 00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:09,530 S3: of invisible blueprints tucked underneath your arms and upon those 74 00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:13,130 S3: blueprints you set off to build your marriage. And of course, 75 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,250 S3: the problem is that your spouse also has set of 76 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:18,409 S3: blueprints tucked underneath her or his arms and found those 77 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:20,970 S3: blueprints they set out to build a marriage. And the 78 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,970 S3: bigger problem is that you now have two different sets 79 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:26,570 S3: of blueprints. Well, eventually you, you come together and you 80 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:30,250 S3: try to meld the minds together, and you develop this 81 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,969 S3: blueprint that you think you're going to run with. And 82 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:36,250 S3: then you add a special needs child, and you can 83 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:40,490 S3: just throw that blueprint out because that changes everything at 84 00:04:40,529 --> 00:04:44,490 S3: that point. And tragically, what we see happening is that 85 00:04:44,529 --> 00:04:49,010 S3: many couples do not want to adjust to this change 86 00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:52,890 S3: in their plans or their to their blueprint. And tragically, 87 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:55,860 S3: we just heard just a couple of weeks ago that 87% 88 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:59,500 S3: of people with special needs kids end up in divorce court. 89 00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:04,860 S3: Separated and. And that's just because people just unwillingness to 90 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,779 S3: just accept the reality of what they now have. Yeah. 91 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:14,539 S1: And the reality is, it is hard. But after 45 years, 92 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,979 S1: you two are here to say, well, what you what 93 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:20,460 S1: I tacked on at the end of that you didn't expect. 94 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,860 S1: You know, life wasn't supposed to turn out this way, 95 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:27,060 S1: but the joy you didn't. You also didn't expect the 96 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:30,860 S1: joy that would be in these 45 years. Cindy. Talk 97 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,620 S1: about that. 98 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,500 S2: Well, I think, you know, initially when we were finding 99 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:40,020 S2: out Joey's diagnosis and and every diagnosis is different, but 100 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:45,779 S2: special needs is just such a big, broad conversation. You know, you, 101 00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:49,740 S2: you look at this diagnosis and you think, oh my goodness, 102 00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:51,339 S2: we are going to have to take care of him 103 00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:55,340 S2: for the rest of his life or ours. And what 104 00:05:55,339 --> 00:05:58,420 S2: is that going to look like? And, you know, it's exhausting. 105 00:05:58,420 --> 00:06:02,100 S2: And actually, Chris, on your Chris Fabry live Facebook post, 106 00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:05,300 S2: there were so many people who who said much of 107 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:09,460 S2: the same thing. The isolation, the exhaustion, the stress. That's 108 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:12,100 S2: what we've had to deal with, as many others have. 109 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:15,180 S2: And yet in the midst of that, the people that 110 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,180 S2: we have met, the aides from at school, the teachers, 111 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:23,420 S2: the bus drivers, the occupational therapists, all the therapists, so 112 00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:26,420 S2: many people in our lives that we would never have met, 113 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,140 S2: that have brought so much joy to us and to 114 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:33,099 S2: our son in his development. Um, we really you can't, 115 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,979 S2: you can't put a price on that. You can't put 116 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,580 S2: even a thought on that really. And we've met so 117 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,940 S2: many wonderful people. And Joey, Joey actually has a very 118 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:46,539 S2: good sense of humor. His verbal skills are low, but 119 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,979 S2: he gets funny things. And so he has given us 120 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:53,859 S2: a lot of joy by watching him get things that 121 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:57,500 S2: we might not have ever thought he would. But all 122 00:06:57,540 --> 00:07:02,099 S2: that to say, you know, when you surrender your life. Well, 123 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,260 S2: first of all, to each other in marriage. And then 124 00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:06,860 S2: of course, if it's in the Lord which our marriage 125 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,220 S2: is in the Lord, we we love the Lord Jesus. 126 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,619 S2: When you do that, you start to recognize that all 127 00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:18,300 S2: of life is a surrender. And if you surrender properly, 128 00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:21,300 S2: the Lord will give you the joy in that surrender. 129 00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:23,740 S2: If you hold on to it and you say, you know, 130 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:26,700 S2: I don't like this, I'm not going to deal with this. Uh, 131 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:30,340 S2: you're not going to find the joy. And I do 132 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,860 S2: say to that, we have a lot of people that 133 00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:34,740 S2: we know in our life who are still caring for 134 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:38,340 S2: their parents, like in their 90s. And we often see 135 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:43,060 S2: that if you haven't gone through difficult things early in marriage, 136 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:46,380 S2: sometimes it's really hard to adjust to those things later 137 00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:48,780 S2: in marriage, when you're caring even for an older parent, 138 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,150 S2: which kind of falls under the special needs when they 139 00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:55,030 S2: have so many things they need care for. So we 140 00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:59,590 S2: found out early in our marriage that, uh, having this 141 00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:02,030 S2: challenge was probably a really good thing for us. 142 00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:07,230 S1: Yes. And, and all that you have learned. And yet 143 00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:11,510 S1: at the same time, uh, if you're, if you're in 144 00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:14,590 S1: Christ and you know that there's nothing that comes that 145 00:08:14,590 --> 00:08:18,430 S1: is sifted through the sovereign hand of God that isn't, uh, 146 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:22,150 S1: at least allowed by him, then you could say, well, 147 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:24,550 S1: this is God's will and I need to get get 148 00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:26,350 S1: with the program. And I just got to be thankful 149 00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:30,630 S1: and be happy. There's a, there's a temptation to take 150 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:34,350 S1: away grief because if you grieve this, then it's going 151 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,270 S1: to be. So I want you to think about that. 152 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:39,470 S1: And we're going to take a break. And you mentioned 153 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:42,390 S1: our listeners on Facebook. Yes. A lot of people have 154 00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:45,429 S1: responded to the question that I put there, but I 155 00:08:45,429 --> 00:08:51,630 S1: want to open up the phone lines to at eight, seven, (877) 548-3675. 156 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,150 S1: If you're in the middle of this or you've just 157 00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:58,350 S1: gotten a diagnosis and you're, you're looking at the radio 158 00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:00,590 S1: and your breath is kind of taken away by our 159 00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:08,309 S1: topic today, special needs parenting. I'd love to hear from you. Eight. 7754836. 160 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:11,630 S1: Seven five. The Farinas are with me today at the 161 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:24,790 S1: radio backyard fence. Cindy and Joe Ferrini are joining us 162 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,990 S1: today at the Radio Backyard Fence. And they have written 163 00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:30,710 S1: a book that I think is going to be an 164 00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:35,350 S1: indispensable guide for anyone who hears a diagnosis and is 165 00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:39,910 S1: called a special needs parent. And you have all of 166 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:42,430 S1: these questions and you don't know what the future is. 167 00:09:42,429 --> 00:09:44,350 S1: As a matter of fact, that's what people are saying. 168 00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:47,750 S1: Most people on Facebook are responding that it's the future, 169 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:51,230 S1: it's what's going to happen. That is my struggle because 170 00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:55,390 S1: we don't know. We don't know what this means for us. 171 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,030 S1: So they've written the Special Needs Parent A guide to 172 00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:01,550 S1: the Life You Never Expected. It's our featured resource at 173 00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:09,710 S1: Chris fabriclive.org. If you know a special needs parent or parents, um, and, 174 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,829 S1: and this would be a great gift for them. And 175 00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:16,390 S1: we've got it linked right there. Chris fabriclive.org. But I 176 00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,670 S1: went into the break with that question for you to 177 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:22,350 S1: think about that. You know, if, if God has given 178 00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:26,550 S1: me a child who has special needs, then there's something 179 00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:29,230 S1: that he wants to do in me and through me 180 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:33,750 S1: to this child and to the others. But, but this 181 00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:38,630 S1: is a Gethsemane. This is a real struggle. And to 182 00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:42,310 S1: take away the grief and to save it with simply, well, 183 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,270 S1: it was God's will, you know, and and here we 184 00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:49,520 S1: are doesn't really enter into everything that a special needs 185 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,840 S1: parent gets into. So Joe, respond to that. 186 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,400 S3: Yeah. Well, that's a real life issue there. Uh, you know, 187 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:01,280 S3: here we are sitting at 45 years now with Joey. And, uh, 188 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,520 S3: if we had this discussion when Joey was five, eight, ten, uh, 189 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,120 S3: I might have answered differently, but the reality is, is 190 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,720 S3: now looking back, having learned what we have learned, uh, 191 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,080 S3: I gained great strength from knowing that the Lord doesn't 192 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,359 S3: leave us alone. He doesn't leave us stranded in this situation. 193 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,960 S3: And I believe the last thing I want to do 194 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,560 S3: is be flippant in any of our answers here, because 195 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,199 S3: the reality is, is that God does watch over us. 196 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,960 S3: And I'm strengthened by the the gospel story of Bartimaeus, 197 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,319 S3: the blind man Bartimaeus. And as you know, that, uh, 198 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,480 S3: that that appears in a few different locations in Gospels 199 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:44,040 S3: and the, the disciples asked Jesus the question, so who 200 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,000 S3: sinned that he should be blind. Was it his parents? 201 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,720 S3: Was it him? Why is he like this? And Jesus 202 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,920 S3: says it was that that God would be honored and 203 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:59,200 S3: glorified through this. And looking back now over, you know, 204 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:04,079 S3: 45 years, I would say that, uh, Joey's story has 205 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,959 S3: been shared with so many, many people. And many people 206 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:12,360 S3: have been blessed by what he has done and what, uh, 207 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,600 S3: we're seeing happening in our own specific lives. And so 208 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:21,120 S3: I'm thankful for him and just knowing that we can 209 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,000 S3: get through this. It's a journey. And most people just, 210 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,320 S3: they want to, you know, this is not a run 211 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,440 S3: through McDonald's and you get your answer thing. It's just 212 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,160 S3: a long term journey thing. And we can say with 213 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,520 S3: confidence that God is in control and that he has 214 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,120 S3: provided us resources. You know, in 50 years ago, like 215 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,319 S3: I said, if we had this conversation, you know, when 216 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,120 S3: Joey was just born, I might have been giving you 217 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,400 S3: some different answers here. But now, looking back, we can 218 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:54,560 S3: say with confidence that God has provided us with some 219 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,880 S3: resources and a plan to help us get through these 220 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:58,960 S3: difficult times. 221 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,119 S1: I love it that you've been this through this 45 222 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,680 S1: years because like you say, you know, five, ten years 223 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,360 S1: down the road, you would have had some good things 224 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:11,360 S1: to say. But now with this track record and then 225 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,840 S1: all of the other resources and the people that you've 226 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,080 S1: come in contact with, Cindy, I want you to answer 227 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:21,959 S1: that same question, but talk to the special needs parent 228 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:27,720 S1: who feels guilty for feeling grief over this. Their expectations 229 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:31,760 S1: were over here, and this is what they have, and 230 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,280 S1: they want to be content where they are. But at 231 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,160 S1: the same time, they're dealing with those expectations. What do 232 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,280 S1: you say to that parent? 233 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,450 S2: Well, I think guilt is, um, and grief are very 234 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:49,170 S2: real parts of this journey. Um, when we learned of 235 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:53,370 S2: Joey's diagnosis, I mean, we cried, we pled with the 236 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:56,530 S2: Lord and asked him to heal Joey. And, and so 237 00:13:56,570 --> 00:14:00,970 S2: it's real. But when you come to the realization that 238 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,890 S2: God has a different plan for you than you had, and, 239 00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:07,410 S2: you know, it's, you can take almost any challenge that 240 00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,530 S2: anybody has, whether it's a child with special needs or 241 00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:14,650 S2: you've gone through a divorce or you have a wayward child. 242 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:18,890 S2: Everybody has something. So you, you take that trial, that 243 00:14:18,890 --> 00:14:21,130 S2: challenge that you have, and you have to ask yourself, like, 244 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,130 S2: what am I going to do with this? You know, 245 00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:25,130 S2: am I going to be the Debbie Downer and just 246 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:29,010 S2: be like, everything? Life is just so rough. Well, I 247 00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:32,610 S2: don't hide that. Life has been challenging many, many times, 248 00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:35,690 S2: but I also want to give people hope to let 249 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:39,210 S2: them realize that the Lord gives us just what we need. 250 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:42,210 S2: And if if you would have asked us that maybe 251 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:45,370 S2: when Joey was ten, I might have questioned it. But 252 00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:47,370 S2: when we look back now, and when we look at 253 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:50,690 S2: our two daughters and the loveliness of our two daughters, 254 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,930 S2: which we say is due in no part to our 255 00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,210 S2: raising them, but in the fact that we had Joey 256 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:59,530 S2: in our family, you know, we've we've all learned like 257 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,930 S2: we don't get our own way every day. And so 258 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,770 S2: when something goes wrong with Joey, it goes wrong with 259 00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:08,530 S2: the whole family. If he's having a really rough day, 260 00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:12,810 S2: we have to change our plans. So there's grief in that. There's, um, 261 00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:16,450 S2: mourning in that. But one of the things that I 262 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:19,690 S2: think is just so important is that as I watch 263 00:15:19,730 --> 00:15:24,170 S2: our daughters is how they love other people. And I 264 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:27,170 S2: think when you have a special needs child and you 265 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,450 S2: are treating them the way that you would know, God 266 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:33,370 S2: would want you to treat them, and you're raising them 267 00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:36,530 S2: to the best of your ability and your children are 268 00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:39,850 S2: watching that. Then you have to understand that this is 269 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:42,410 S2: what God planned. And when I watch our girls now 270 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,890 S2: with their own children, one does foster care. One has 271 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:50,810 S2: worked with improv with down syndrome adults. They love on 272 00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:55,330 S2: these special needs people and special situation people, and I 273 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,530 S2: couldn't be any more proud of them. And they have 274 00:15:57,530 --> 00:16:02,010 S2: each said recently, it's mostly due to us having joy 275 00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:02,810 S2: in our life. 276 00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:05,650 S3: Yeah. You know, you know, when when Joy was young, 277 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,730 S3: we had one of the elders of our church come 278 00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:11,330 S3: over and, uh, and he knew that we were having 279 00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:15,050 S3: a hard time and, uh, with the situation at hand. And, 280 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:18,890 S3: and he made a comment that that went like, you know, 281 00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:21,770 S3: God made Joey just the way he wanted him made. 282 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:25,210 S3: And I gotta tell you, I did not like that, 283 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,130 S3: you know, that comment. And it was difficult for me 284 00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:32,650 S3: to accept that. And, uh, but now he was absolutely right. 285 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:36,890 S3: He was absolutely right in what he said. And, uh, 286 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:39,180 S3: you know, if, you know, if Chris, if God came 287 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:42,140 S3: to us right now and said, I'll make joy normal 288 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:45,780 S3: for you. We would say, no, thank you. You give 289 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:50,660 S3: that blessing to someone who's just finding out that their diagnosis. 290 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,340 S3: We'll take joy just the way it is. 291 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:57,220 S1: Okay, that that was my thought is the prayers to 292 00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:01,100 S1: heal Joey. He didn't need to be healed. He was 293 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,540 S1: whole the just the way he is because he's going 294 00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:07,820 S1: to make a difference. He made a difference in your. 295 00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,540 S1: I can hear it in your voice. I can hear 296 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:12,260 S1: it about your your daughters and how sensitive they are. 297 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:16,420 S1: And I've seen that happen time and time again with kids, 298 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:19,659 S1: with special needs and what it does to the atmosphere 299 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,100 S1: of people around. Not everybody. There are some people who 300 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,540 S1: are mean, you know, and some people who say unkind things. 301 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:28,700 S1: We'll talk about that more. But I just I see 302 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:31,860 S1: so much hope. And I have seen your Facebook posts 303 00:17:31,859 --> 00:17:37,740 S1: of Joey when the Ohio State football team wins and 304 00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:41,500 S1: he is just over the moon. And I've also seen 305 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,420 S1: it when they haven't, you know, when they don't have 306 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,340 S1: as good a season. And it's you know it's it's 307 00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:47,900 S1: a hard thing. But I, I want you to talk 308 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:51,459 S1: to our listeners today. The Special Needs parent is a 309 00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:54,020 S1: book that is going to be indispensable if you don't 310 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:57,740 S1: have it in your church library, get it today. And 311 00:17:57,740 --> 00:18:01,139 S1: if there's a family and they don't have it, give 312 00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:05,460 S1: that to them again. Cindy and Joe Ferrini are with us, 313 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,940 S1: the special needs parent. You can find it at Chris 314 00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:12,540 S1: Fabry live.org. Elizabeth is on the line. Elizabeth. Go right ahead. 315 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,979 S4: Hi. Thank you so much. And I'm definitely going to 316 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,739 S4: check out the book. Um, everything you're saying resonates. The 317 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:24,500 S4: guilt is so real. Um, my son is 26, intellectually disabled, 318 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,860 S4: but still has all his wits about him. My question is, 319 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,060 S4: I don't know if I've surrendered. I have I mean, 320 00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:33,899 S4: I've spoken to God every day, but I still don't 321 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:39,100 S4: feel Happy. I feel burdened when he is sad that 322 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,820 S4: he doesn't have a purpose or a future. I kind 323 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:44,459 S4: of say, I don't know what your purpose is. And 324 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,180 S4: so I my question is, how do you know you've surrendered? 325 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:51,139 S4: It's like, what more do you do when your honest 326 00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:55,820 S4: feelings tell you you don't feel in the right place? Wow. 327 00:18:56,100 --> 00:19:00,860 S2: Well, I think surrender is an it's an interesting place 328 00:19:00,859 --> 00:19:04,460 S2: to be. And when you surrender and say, I want 329 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:08,780 S2: to do all in my life to bring glory to God, 330 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:14,379 S2: that means everything. And for me personally, Elizabeth, I would say, 331 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,500 S2: you know, when I struggled with. And let me just 332 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:20,140 S2: say this, when I say struggled, it's not like it's 333 00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:22,940 S2: just in the past. It can be every day. Sometimes 334 00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:25,420 S2: I'm really frustrated when I'm trying to do something. And 335 00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:29,460 S2: 16 times Joey, in his inability to speak very well, 336 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,780 S2: is trying to tell me something, and I don't get it. 337 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:36,430 S2: I can be very frustrated. However, in the surrender, then 338 00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:39,670 S2: the surrendered life. What you say is, how is this 339 00:19:39,670 --> 00:19:44,390 S2: situation bringing glory to God and. And that's surrender. That 340 00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:46,990 S2: doesn't mean that we do it perfectly all the time, 341 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,510 S2: but it means that it's a part of our life 342 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:53,590 S2: that we want to be always under the Lordship of 343 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:57,669 S2: Jesus Christ, doing for him what we know he would 344 00:19:57,710 --> 00:20:01,150 S2: would want us to do. And so, um, you know, 345 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:05,110 S2: I don't I don't want you to feel guilty about 346 00:20:05,109 --> 00:20:08,109 S2: that because we will have those moments. And I do 347 00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:11,869 S2: remember early on, I reached out to some, some moms 348 00:20:11,869 --> 00:20:14,950 S2: who had, um, children that were older than Joey that 349 00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:17,150 S2: seemed to be like what Joey might be like as 350 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:21,230 S2: he got older. And I remember them saying to me, well, 351 00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:24,190 S2: everything will be fine, like God is good and everything 352 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:27,630 S2: will be fine. And I remember thinking to myself, well then, 353 00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:30,470 S2: why is today so terrible? Like, I'm not happy right 354 00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:33,909 S2: this minute. And, and that's what that's when we began 355 00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:37,429 S2: writing books and putting things together because we realized people 356 00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:40,990 S2: had to understand, even in the special needs community, that 357 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,350 S2: it is not easy. And so the surrendered life is 358 00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:48,590 S2: a moment to moment, giving it to the Lord. And 359 00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:51,109 S2: it's not like you just wake up and go, okay, 360 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:55,430 S2: today's the day I'm surrendering. It's moment to moment, moment 361 00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:59,630 S2: to moment. And so enjoy learning that principle. Joe wants 362 00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:00,590 S2: to say something. 363 00:21:01,109 --> 00:21:03,590 S3: Is it just the two of you at home? Is 364 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:04,950 S3: your husband? 365 00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:08,710 S4: He has siblings and and a father. But. And everything 366 00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:12,150 S4: you're saying is, is so true. But when they say, 367 00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:15,510 S4: why was I created? Like I have no purpose because 368 00:21:15,510 --> 00:21:19,070 S4: they they can't work that much. They can't. He doesn't drive. 369 00:21:19,109 --> 00:21:23,470 S4: They don't have friends. They're so isolated. That's I mean, 370 00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:27,350 S4: I'm constantly feeding God's word to him. But sometimes it 371 00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:30,110 S4: feels like a lifetime of a struggle. And how much 372 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:33,990 S4: do you have to do a lifetime? And I don't know, 373 00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:35,390 S4: it sounds terrible. I'm sorry. 374 00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:38,510 S2: It is. It is a lifetime. And it doesn't sound 375 00:21:38,510 --> 00:21:42,189 S2: terrible because we understand, and probably most of the people 376 00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:46,590 S2: listening in our situations will understand also. But, you know, 377 00:21:47,070 --> 00:21:50,389 S2: as you and thank you for reading Scripture and bringing 378 00:21:50,390 --> 00:21:53,070 S2: that into his life. You know, our son doesn't talk 379 00:21:53,070 --> 00:21:57,710 S2: very much and what he does say is very understandable, understandable. 380 00:21:58,070 --> 00:22:01,030 S2: And yet, let me just tell you that when he 381 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:05,790 S2: worships at church, I know his purpose is to glorify 382 00:22:05,830 --> 00:22:08,709 S2: God and he shows that to other people. 383 00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:10,670 S3: Yeah, we tell people all the time, if you're having 384 00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:14,470 S3: a hard time worshiping the Lord, just sit behind us 385 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:18,230 S3: in church and we'll bring you to the throne. Yes. 386 00:22:18,510 --> 00:22:21,470 S2: He doesn't. He doesn't have to say anything. He hears. 387 00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:21,950 S1: What I will. 388 00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:22,310 S2: Say. 389 00:22:23,030 --> 00:22:25,629 S1: Here's what I will say to you, Elizabeth. The way 390 00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:31,360 S1: that you articulated the struggle that you're in shows me 391 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,440 S1: that you're you're serious about wanting to get to someplace, 392 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,520 S1: and I think you're you're already there. You're already surrendering 393 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,520 S1: this because you're feeling it. You're able to express, you know, 394 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,600 S1: here's where I want to be over here. And I 395 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,360 S1: think that, uh, hang on, because I want us to 396 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,680 S1: send you a copy of this book by Cindy and 397 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,639 S1: Joe that I think will really encourage you, but just 398 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,440 S1: being willing to be real and to be honest and 399 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,440 S1: to be honest with your children or with your child 400 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,840 S1: about that situation that you're going through. Joe. That's, that's 401 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,240 S1: half the battle, isn't it? 402 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,320 S3: It really is. You know, the transparency and willing to, uh, 403 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,560 S3: lay aside pride issues and, and just engage with the 404 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,320 S3: reality of what you have to deal with on a 405 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,040 S3: day to day basis. And we're not going to say 406 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,800 S3: it's going to be easy. We we've never said that. 407 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,399 S3: We never will say that, but we can take heart 408 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,560 S3: in knowing that God is in control of the situation, 409 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,600 S3: and we just desire to be used by him, as 410 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,440 S3: does Joey. 411 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,640 S2: Yes, yes. And I think too, if if your son 412 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,800 S2: has a more, um, a higher intellectual understanding than our 413 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,200 S2: Joey does, I think for you to be able to 414 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,440 S2: instill in him the importance that he is in your 415 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,640 S2: family and in your life and in the lives of 416 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,720 S2: other people, that may very well be his purpose. It 417 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,840 S2: may not be a job outside of the home. 418 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:07,040 S1: Yes. And the joy that you bring to us, the 419 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,800 S1: joy that we have in, in the little things. But 420 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:16,160 S1: she also mentioned isolation. That's very common in special needs families. 421 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,480 S1: How do you overcome that isolation? 422 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,959 S3: Again, I think one of the reasons why we actually 423 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,160 S3: wrote this book, and actually the other books that we 424 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:29,919 S3: wrote on special needs is the recurring comments from special 425 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:34,560 S3: needs parents of, you know, they're always alone. They feel isolated. 426 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,880 S3: And so one of the purposes for writing the book 427 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,840 S3: is to help to try to reduce social isolation and 428 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:47,119 S3: help to create a sense of community as much as possible. And, uh, 429 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,400 S3: you know, as we continue to try to show God's love, uh, 430 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,200 S3: through the pages of this book, uh, we believe that 431 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:58,720 S3: we are coming together to help create that community. And 432 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,000 S3: it's a very real community. There's a lot of wonderful, 433 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,160 S3: wonderful people out there, and we just need to make 434 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,880 S3: sure that we are engaging with them as much as 435 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,480 S3: we can. 436 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,600 S1: That's Joe Ferrini. Cindy Ferrini have written our featured resource 437 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,920 S1: today at Chris fabriclive.org. I want to hear from you 438 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,680 S1: on Facebook. Are you the parent of a special needs 439 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,600 S1: child of any age? What is your top struggle? And 440 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,250 S1: I love what Heidi said sleep number exclamation point. and 441 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:29,410 S1: then figuring out care for him in the future. If 442 00:25:29,410 --> 00:25:32,250 S1: my husband and I are no longer able to do so. 443 00:25:32,570 --> 00:25:36,729 S1: So the struggle of fearing the future, as well as 444 00:25:36,770 --> 00:25:40,450 S1: getting sleep in the present. Joe and Cindy have written 445 00:25:40,450 --> 00:25:44,050 S1: The Special Needs Parent A guide to the Life You 446 00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:48,570 S1: Never Expected. Go to Chris Fabry live.org. You'll see it there. 447 00:25:48,570 --> 00:26:04,369 S1: Chris Barrie live.com. More of your calls straight ahead. We 448 00:26:04,410 --> 00:26:09,010 S1: deal with real life, real pain and struggle and real hope. 449 00:26:09,010 --> 00:26:10,890 S1: And we have two people who are on the real 450 00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:14,689 S1: hope bandwagon today, Cindy and Joe Ferrini. They are the 451 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:18,530 S1: authors of the Special Needs Parent, a guide to the 452 00:26:18,530 --> 00:26:21,570 S1: Life You Never Expected. It's our featured resource at Chris 453 00:26:21,609 --> 00:26:25,330 S1: Fabry live.org. Going back to your calls, but I mentioned 454 00:26:25,330 --> 00:26:28,530 S1: just before the break, someone on Facebook saying the number 455 00:26:28,530 --> 00:26:32,970 S1: one thing they're struggling with is sleep. Cindy, you have 456 00:26:32,970 --> 00:26:34,650 S1: experienced that too, right? 457 00:26:36,490 --> 00:26:40,730 S2: Okay. So, you know, when new moms say, you know, my, 458 00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:43,690 S2: my baby is like two months old or five months 459 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:47,050 S2: old and they're not sleeping through the night. Sometimes I 460 00:26:47,050 --> 00:26:50,210 S2: think to myself, oh, don't make me go there with 461 00:26:50,210 --> 00:26:53,450 S2: you because I'm going to give you no hope. However, 462 00:26:53,810 --> 00:26:57,250 S2: you know, Joey does not know time, so sometimes he 463 00:26:57,250 --> 00:27:00,210 S2: gets up three times a night, he'll come down to 464 00:27:00,210 --> 00:27:02,770 S2: our room and he'll look at us and he'll say, 465 00:27:02,810 --> 00:27:06,930 S2: you know, I love you and time to get up. 466 00:27:06,930 --> 00:27:11,689 S2: And it's. 132, 3330. So we just have to laugh 467 00:27:11,690 --> 00:27:14,930 S2: when when people are not happy that their newborn baby 468 00:27:14,970 --> 00:27:18,010 S2: isn't sleeping through the night because we've had 45 years 469 00:27:18,010 --> 00:27:18,370 S2: of it. 470 00:27:18,369 --> 00:27:20,650 S3: But and he also comes to us fully dressed. He's 471 00:27:20,650 --> 00:27:23,210 S3: ready to go outside his coat and tight. 472 00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:26,570 S2: Wait wait wait. He's in. He's in his pajamas with 473 00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:30,450 S2: a coat and his shoes. Fully dressed as in, he's 474 00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:33,090 S2: got clothes on but not like to go out. So 475 00:27:33,130 --> 00:27:35,609 S2: let me just tell you this. Joe and I have. We. 476 00:27:35,650 --> 00:27:38,889 S2: One of the things we really share throughout our writings 477 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:41,930 S2: and our life is that we've really had to work 478 00:27:41,930 --> 00:27:45,609 S2: together as a team. Um, if if I'm tired, Joe 479 00:27:45,609 --> 00:27:48,770 S2: gives me opportunity to rest and vice versa. If he 480 00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:52,889 S2: has something going on, if he's speaking somewhere, I man 481 00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:55,970 S2: the fort here and vice versa. We try really hard 482 00:27:56,570 --> 00:27:59,850 S2: to give each other the opportunities to do different things 483 00:27:59,850 --> 00:28:03,010 S2: so that our lives do feel fulfilled. Um, and not 484 00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,290 S2: just at home caring for one particular person. So what 485 00:28:06,290 --> 00:28:09,210 S2: I would say in terms of sleep is I did 486 00:28:09,210 --> 00:28:11,889 S2: hear someone else say this, and I love this idea. 487 00:28:12,130 --> 00:28:15,410 S2: And that is, um, say on a Saturday, if you 488 00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:17,850 S2: both have Saturday off and it's a free day that 489 00:28:17,850 --> 00:28:21,330 S2: every other Saturday you get a day to just sleep 490 00:28:21,330 --> 00:28:25,780 S2: in and the other person takes over fully. Um, because otherwise, 491 00:28:25,820 --> 00:28:27,580 S2: you know, you just lay in bed and you pretend 492 00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:30,540 S2: the other person doesn't hear that Joey's up, right? And 493 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:33,540 S2: so what you want to do is make it a plan. 494 00:28:33,580 --> 00:28:36,780 S2: Say today is your day to sleep in, and next 495 00:28:36,780 --> 00:28:39,020 S2: week will be your day to sleep in. To really 496 00:28:39,020 --> 00:28:41,500 S2: be able to get that rest and rest takes other 497 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:44,020 S2: forms to not just sleep. You know, it might be 498 00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:46,300 S2: getting away for a cup of coffee or time with 499 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:50,140 S2: a friend. Um, other kinds of rest to, you know, 500 00:28:50,740 --> 00:28:52,900 S2: fill you up in that way. Yes. 501 00:28:53,460 --> 00:28:55,620 S1: Oh, I've got so many more questions and so many 502 00:28:55,620 --> 00:28:59,260 S1: great calls today. Wendy is in Florida. Wendy. Go right ahead. 503 00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:00,580 S1: You're on with the Pyrenees. 504 00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:03,940 S5: Hi. Hi, everybody. How are you doing? This is my 505 00:29:03,940 --> 00:29:05,740 S5: first time on the air, so I'm a little nervous. 506 00:29:06,260 --> 00:29:08,740 S1: We got you. We got you with this topic. I'm 507 00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:09,980 S1: so glad. Thanks, Wendy. 508 00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:16,540 S5: Okay. Um, I have, um, two children. Um, 15 months apart. 509 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:19,420 S5: I'm going to be 52 this year, and I'm saying 510 00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:22,940 S5: this for a reason. Um, I have a daughter that's 511 00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:25,740 S5: 14 or 13. Excuse me. And my son's going to 512 00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:30,860 S5: be 12. Um, my son is, um, diagnosed with severe autism. 513 00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:34,700 S5: His end is severe. Um, he uses an AAC device 514 00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:37,860 S5: to communicate the best he can. It's mostly for food 515 00:29:38,060 --> 00:29:44,340 S5: and things he wants, um, whichever special need. Can understand that. Um, 516 00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:49,020 S5: I struggle because I'm a single mom, so I'm trying 517 00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:52,860 S5: to make things, you know, ends meets. Um, he has 518 00:29:52,860 --> 00:29:55,900 S5: a health aide when I'm working, but I have no respite, 519 00:29:55,900 --> 00:30:02,340 S5: so I'm working on respite. Um, interestingly enough, I think 520 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:05,860 S5: having a special needs, it was, you know, God's way 521 00:30:05,860 --> 00:30:09,180 S5: of saying to come closer to him because I was 522 00:30:09,180 --> 00:30:12,740 S5: working at a restaurant and the lady came in and 523 00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:16,700 S5: she gave some information and said she was at a church. 524 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,940 S5: And I'm like, oh, I really wanted to go to church. 525 00:30:19,060 --> 00:30:22,180 S5: You know, my kids were raised in Ohio, but now 526 00:30:22,180 --> 00:30:25,900 S5: I'm back in Florida and no church can handle up there. They, 527 00:30:25,940 --> 00:30:28,220 S5: you know, basically just looked at us because he makes 528 00:30:28,220 --> 00:30:32,020 S5: a lot of noise. And, uh, so anyway, we ended 529 00:30:32,020 --> 00:30:35,060 S5: up going to this church and, um, here we are 530 00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:39,340 S5: like five years later, um, we were displaced from our 531 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:44,020 S5: home last year. They helped us. Um, so I'm just 532 00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:47,860 S5: really struggling with helping my daughter who is, you know, 533 00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:53,820 S5: a teenager now. And I cannot like do it all. And, um, 534 00:30:54,780 --> 00:30:57,140 S5: I talk to God every single day and I say, 535 00:30:57,180 --> 00:31:00,780 S5: you know, just make him talk, you know, like, you know, 536 00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:04,460 S5: this would be so much easier, like for all of us. And, 537 00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:06,860 S5: you know, we could do things, you know, it's just 538 00:31:07,140 --> 00:31:12,060 S5: all these things. Um, and of course the grieving, um, 539 00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:16,780 S5: you know, he's got a birthday. There's nobody to show up. Um, 540 00:31:17,670 --> 00:31:20,710 S5: You know, for like, friends. She's got every friend in 541 00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:23,470 S5: the world, you know what I mean? So that that's 542 00:31:23,470 --> 00:31:27,430 S5: my struggle, um, is, you know, I have a beautiful 543 00:31:27,430 --> 00:31:30,550 S5: church family, but as far as when I get inside 544 00:31:30,550 --> 00:31:34,870 S5: my home, it's just, uh, you know, it's just me 545 00:31:34,870 --> 00:31:38,830 S5: and them. And I'm always with him because he has, um, 546 00:31:39,270 --> 00:31:44,030 S5: pica also. So he eats jewelry. He'll, you know, he 547 00:31:44,030 --> 00:31:47,150 S5: gets into everything. So and he's a beautiful kid, but 548 00:31:47,150 --> 00:31:50,229 S5: he just gets into everything. So that's where I'm at 549 00:31:51,110 --> 00:31:53,390 S5: and I just, I struggle. Yeah. 550 00:31:55,550 --> 00:31:58,270 S2: That is just every bit of that is so real. 551 00:31:58,470 --> 00:32:02,630 S2: And yet you, you know, it's different faces and different places. 552 00:32:02,630 --> 00:32:04,750 S2: But there's so many of what you said that is 553 00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:08,430 S2: in every home of a special needs family, uh, doing 554 00:32:08,430 --> 00:32:11,630 S2: it by yourself is so hard. And yet one of 555 00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:14,790 S2: the things that we have, um, mentioned throughout our book 556 00:32:14,790 --> 00:32:17,670 S2: is the way to try to get community. But as 557 00:32:17,670 --> 00:32:20,590 S2: you well know, it's hard when you are also working 558 00:32:20,590 --> 00:32:23,190 S2: and doing things outside of the home. But I really 559 00:32:23,190 --> 00:32:26,550 S2: feel that trying to get community around you where people 560 00:32:26,550 --> 00:32:32,430 S2: will will be able to lend help takes time and 561 00:32:33,030 --> 00:32:36,390 S2: not I don't have an answer for every single individual situation, 562 00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:39,950 S2: but I will say when, when we had our young family, 563 00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:42,870 S2: it was very. Most people would not invite us to 564 00:32:42,910 --> 00:32:44,790 S2: their house. I don't think they knew what to expect 565 00:32:44,790 --> 00:32:48,110 S2: with Joey and the noises and no talking and and 566 00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:51,430 S2: maybe a meltdown, you know, they wouldn't know. So we 567 00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:55,590 S2: invited people to our home. And as we surround ourselves 568 00:32:55,590 --> 00:33:00,030 S2: with friends, not necessarily just from church, but other places too, 569 00:33:00,070 --> 00:33:04,230 S2: we kind of broadened our, our groups to where now, 570 00:33:04,270 --> 00:33:06,830 S2: you know, there are times we are invited out, but 571 00:33:06,830 --> 00:33:10,590 S2: it took many, many years and time. So I don't 572 00:33:10,590 --> 00:33:12,709 S2: know if that's within the realm of your ability to 573 00:33:12,710 --> 00:33:16,470 S2: do it, but I would say begin or continue. You 574 00:33:16,470 --> 00:33:19,790 S2: said you are beginning. Begin and continue to find a 575 00:33:19,790 --> 00:33:22,550 S2: circle of people around you that are able to help. 576 00:33:22,910 --> 00:33:25,270 S2: And then I would say not all the time. So 577 00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:27,470 S2: they aren't burnt out like we are, right? But that 578 00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:30,190 S2: they are there to support us when we have those moments. 579 00:33:30,310 --> 00:33:32,270 S2: And I would want to add one more thing just 580 00:33:32,270 --> 00:33:35,110 S2: about your daughter. Um, one of the things that we 581 00:33:35,110 --> 00:33:38,070 S2: did with our girls is we, we made sure that 582 00:33:38,070 --> 00:33:40,310 S2: we spent time with them. Joe dated them and would 583 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:43,390 S2: take them on donut runs and like, you know, fast 584 00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:46,190 S2: food places and just, you know, maybe an hour or 585 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:50,310 S2: so away and just go have a date and have fun. And, um, 586 00:33:50,710 --> 00:33:52,750 S2: and then I would also have time with the girls 587 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:56,550 S2: as well. And I really never expected for the girls 588 00:33:56,550 --> 00:33:58,990 S2: to take care of Joey or take him places. That 589 00:33:58,990 --> 00:34:02,950 S2: was our responsibility. And we tried very hard to allow 590 00:34:02,950 --> 00:34:05,510 S2: for our girls to participate in the things that really 591 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:09,750 S2: made them happy, that were their strengths. Music. Um, sports 592 00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:13,350 S2: wasn't part of their, um, interest, but, you know, whatever 593 00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:15,799 S2: they were interested in, we tried very hard to give 594 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,320 S2: them the best that we could within that. So those 595 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,560 S2: are big orders and big shoes to fill for one person. 596 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:28,560 S2: But as you surround yourself with people that, um, even, 597 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,279 S2: you know, like minded people, other special needs families where 598 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,480 S2: you can even barter time and say, I'll take your 599 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,799 S2: son or your daughter along with my son for the day. 600 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,239 S2: Would you do that for me another time? There's got 601 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,600 S2: to be some other creative ways. Um, you know, you 602 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,000 S2: have to think outside of the box. 603 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,120 S3: Yeah. I am encouraged that you have a church, a 604 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,520 S3: local church that you go to. Mhm. And I'd like 605 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,680 S3: to learn more about that because one of the, uh, 606 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,359 S3: recent statistics that just came out, um, from studies done 607 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:03,760 S3: by Baylor University is that 47% of families with handicapped 608 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,719 S3: children have left their church because the child with a 609 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:12,320 S3: disability was not welcomed or included in the church. That 610 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,920 S3: has to change. And, uh, and that you have a 611 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:20,120 S3: home church that has received you, uh, is what a 612 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,279 S3: blessing that is. But I would maybe pursue that and 613 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:28,120 S3: just ask the pastor, are there people here that are 614 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:34,520 S3: willing to, uh, maybe spend a time babysitting, uh, for 615 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,560 S3: your child? Uh, but there needs to be a way 616 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:41,760 S3: to give you some, some respite, some time to, uh, 617 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,320 S3: to relax and enjoy. But you are, you are carrying 618 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,839 S3: such a heavy burden there by yourself. And, uh, God 619 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,120 S3: bless you for all that you're doing. And just, uh, 620 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,520 S3: just want to encourage you to persevere as best you can, 621 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,840 S3: but look around and see what is available to help 622 00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,759 S3: you get through each day. And it might be right 623 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:01,680 S3: there in your church. 624 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,399 S2: We do have a number of helps in the book 625 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,760 S2: as well, that you could kind of look and see 626 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,600 S2: what each of these things might be most helpful to me. 627 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,200 S1: Yeah. And we're going to put that in your hands, Wendy. 628 00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,879 S1: Hang on. Uh, don't hang up. Tricia will get your information, 629 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,760 S1: and we'll send you a copy of the special needs parent. 630 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,920 S1: I want to read the question of another caller, and 631 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,919 S1: then take a break and let you think about this. 632 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:27,239 S1: My special needs daughter is 34. She is in hospice. 633 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:31,360 S1: She is dying. It is really hard to explain that 634 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:35,200 S1: to her. It is really hard to understand why God 635 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,560 S1: would allow this to happen and put us and her 636 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:44,200 S1: in this situation. She understands it is God's will, but 637 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,799 S1: that doesn't make it any easier. So how do you 638 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:55,800 S1: come alongside this mom and how does she communicate with 639 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,840 S1: her daughter? At this point? I don't know that there 640 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:03,760 S1: is any more difficult question we could pose to two guests, 641 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,279 S1: but I'm going to have them think about it and 642 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,730 S1: then come back and give an answer. The special needs 643 00:37:09,730 --> 00:37:13,330 S1: parent is a guide to the life you never expected, 644 00:37:13,330 --> 00:37:17,650 S1: and it's our featured resource. Somebody you know needs a copy. 645 00:37:17,690 --> 00:37:20,089 S1: It might be you. You can find out more at 646 00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:27,210 S1: the website. Chris Fabry live.org. Chris Fabry live.org. More straight 647 00:37:27,210 --> 00:37:40,090 S1: ahead on Moody Radio. Tomorrow on Chris Fabry Live. Dana 648 00:37:40,090 --> 00:37:44,010 S1: Gresh is back. 25 years ago, she wrote a really 649 00:37:44,010 --> 00:37:48,410 S1: important book in The Bride Wore White. Now, 25 years later, 650 00:37:48,410 --> 00:37:52,610 S1: she's revisiting some of the things that she said. Yeah, 651 00:37:52,610 --> 00:37:55,370 S1: that's exactly what I still believe. And then other things 652 00:37:55,370 --> 00:37:58,529 S1: that she's had to rethink. We're going to talk with 653 00:37:58,530 --> 00:38:02,089 S1: her actually in the next two days. So join us 654 00:38:02,090 --> 00:38:06,450 S1: tomorrow for and the bride wore white. 25 years later, 655 00:38:06,770 --> 00:38:09,610 S1: Cindy and Joe Ferrini have joined us. They have written 656 00:38:09,610 --> 00:38:13,089 S1: the Special Needs Parent A Guide to the Life You 657 00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:18,090 S1: Never expected. And that question that I posed right before 658 00:38:18,090 --> 00:38:20,569 S1: the break, let me set it up one more time. 659 00:38:20,850 --> 00:38:25,330 S1: My daughter's 34. She's in hospice. She's dying. I don't 660 00:38:25,330 --> 00:38:28,609 S1: know how to explain this. It's hard to. And it's 661 00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:32,250 S1: hard to understand why God has allowed all this. And 662 00:38:32,250 --> 00:38:36,410 S1: it sounds like she does understand. She has an understanding of, 663 00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:39,850 S1: you know, that God is sovereign over all this, but 664 00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:43,210 S1: it's not making it any easier. Cindy. Joe, what do 665 00:38:43,210 --> 00:38:43,610 S1: you say? 666 00:38:45,250 --> 00:38:48,250 S2: Well, Joe was pointing to me. And so I will 667 00:38:48,250 --> 00:38:51,009 S2: be answering this very difficult question. And I don't know 668 00:38:51,010 --> 00:38:53,649 S2: that I have all the answers, but I will say 669 00:38:53,650 --> 00:38:57,890 S2: this is the most difficult chapter to write, and I 670 00:38:57,890 --> 00:39:02,730 S2: don't think anyone can be prepared for something like this, 671 00:39:02,770 --> 00:39:06,930 S2: especially when you've cared for that child and you've Loved 672 00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:10,370 S2: that child. And you're going to have to give that 673 00:39:10,370 --> 00:39:13,129 S2: child up. That's just such a difficult thing. I don't 674 00:39:13,130 --> 00:39:15,850 S2: know that you can ever be prepared for that, but 675 00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:21,569 S2: we interviewed three friends of ours who each lost a child, 676 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:26,370 S2: and their wisdom was beyond anything we could have written 677 00:39:26,410 --> 00:39:29,090 S2: on this topic, because that hasn't been our our life. 678 00:39:29,090 --> 00:39:32,089 S2: It hasn't been for us. But what I want to 679 00:39:32,090 --> 00:39:37,209 S2: say is that, um, you know, people need to surround 680 00:39:37,489 --> 00:39:40,089 S2: this family, whether it's just the mom and daughter or 681 00:39:40,090 --> 00:39:42,810 S2: it's the whole family. And so I want what I 682 00:39:42,810 --> 00:39:45,450 S2: want to do is I want to encourage the church 683 00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:50,250 S2: because one of the people we interviewed, um, the church 684 00:39:50,250 --> 00:39:55,650 S2: was completely absent and missed the opportunity to help them 685 00:39:55,690 --> 00:39:59,930 S2: not only in their hospital stays, but ultimately the, the death, 686 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:03,930 S2: the homegoing of that child and also then afterwards. And 687 00:40:03,930 --> 00:40:09,740 S2: so Those that know this, people need to step up. Um, 688 00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:13,260 S2: none of us can know what's going on at home. 689 00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:16,100 S2: The meals that aren't being, you know, put on the 690 00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:18,739 S2: table on time, all that sort of thing. There's so 691 00:40:18,739 --> 00:40:21,980 S2: many ways people can help. So how would I instruct 692 00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:24,779 S2: this mother and this daughter? I would say in these 693 00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:28,860 S2: last days, as one of the people we interviewed said, 694 00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:34,060 S2: just live big, live big in memories, live big in conversation. 695 00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:38,660 S2: Have people come in who are bright spots that will 696 00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:43,140 S2: give life to the room, life to the situation, even 697 00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:46,980 S2: though it is going to be deaf. Eventually, people who 698 00:40:46,980 --> 00:40:51,540 S2: would maybe come in and share memories and have good conversations. Um, 699 00:40:52,739 --> 00:40:56,660 S2: definitely this is is a very difficult time. And yet, 700 00:40:56,860 --> 00:41:00,540 S2: how would the Lord be best glorified? Find those ways 701 00:41:00,739 --> 00:41:03,020 S2: and please know we're going to be praying for you. 702 00:41:03,060 --> 00:41:07,259 S3: Yeah, Absolutely. There are so many wonderful passages in the 703 00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:12,300 S3: Book of Psalms that could be read to her, uh, 704 00:41:12,580 --> 00:41:15,739 S3: as you're going through this process. And as Cindy said, 705 00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:19,980 S3: I think it's really important that the right attitude is 706 00:41:20,020 --> 00:41:22,660 S3: given at this time as well. I mean, you could 707 00:41:22,860 --> 00:41:26,100 S3: make that room look like a feel like a funeral home, 708 00:41:26,420 --> 00:41:28,219 S3: but you don't want to do that. You want this 709 00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:31,460 S3: to be a time where you are getting ready to 710 00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:35,740 S3: enter into the presence of God. And that's a challenge 711 00:41:35,739 --> 00:41:39,420 S3: for anybody. Mhm. But this is a good opportunity to 712 00:41:39,460 --> 00:41:42,219 S3: open the book, the Psalms to her. 713 00:41:42,260 --> 00:41:44,900 S2: Yeah. Yeah. And I think to, you know, to I 714 00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:47,820 S2: like Joe's mention, don't make the room like a funeral 715 00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:53,100 S2: home room, but make it something of a more uplifted occasion. 716 00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:55,859 S2: It's not going to be joyous and fun. And I 717 00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:58,379 S2: would say, don't sweep anything under the rug either. If 718 00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:01,259 S2: the daughter wants to talk about certain things, definitely talk 719 00:42:01,260 --> 00:42:04,500 S2: about them. But to have people that come in that 720 00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:08,219 S2: will be, you know, positive influences and not people who 721 00:42:08,219 --> 00:42:11,299 S2: are going to be very negative. And I will just 722 00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:13,819 S2: want I just want to add this. Each person that 723 00:42:13,820 --> 00:42:18,900 S2: we interviewed, they said this, while I will forever wish 724 00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:23,299 S2: I could have done more, that is a comment that 725 00:42:23,300 --> 00:42:25,819 S2: every one of them make. I wish I could have 726 00:42:25,820 --> 00:42:29,460 S2: done more. So do all that you feel you can 727 00:42:29,460 --> 00:42:32,380 S2: in this moment, so that at the end you feel 728 00:42:32,380 --> 00:42:35,460 S2: you have done all that you can, and then understand. 729 00:42:35,460 --> 00:42:39,100 S2: You may still have some thoughts later. And that's probably 730 00:42:39,100 --> 00:42:40,780 S2: all very natural and normal. 731 00:42:41,340 --> 00:42:41,580 S3: Yeah. 732 00:42:41,620 --> 00:42:44,540 S1: We're going to end with Tim in Indiana. Tim, you, 733 00:42:44,580 --> 00:42:46,820 S1: you have lived this yourself, right? 734 00:42:47,580 --> 00:42:48,340 S6: Yes, sir. 735 00:42:49,340 --> 00:42:50,540 S1: Why did you call today? 736 00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:56,020 S6: I wanted to give people encouragement because I was I 737 00:42:56,060 --> 00:43:00,140 S6: have a disabled son who is 43 right now. And 738 00:43:00,460 --> 00:43:03,270 S6: when he was born, he had seizures. When he was 739 00:43:03,270 --> 00:43:06,629 S6: ten days old. He was born early. I thought God 740 00:43:06,630 --> 00:43:09,150 S6: was punishing me because I was far from the Lord. 741 00:43:09,150 --> 00:43:12,790 S6: And and, uh, I thought I was the one getting punished. 742 00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:16,390 S6: And I had lived I lived in guilt for years. Um, 743 00:43:16,430 --> 00:43:22,950 S6: recently he got married in 2017. In 2012, um, I donated, 744 00:43:22,950 --> 00:43:26,029 S6: I gave him one of my kidneys. And to make 745 00:43:26,070 --> 00:43:29,030 S6: a long story short, it's been a he's been getting 746 00:43:29,030 --> 00:43:32,989 S6: blood tests every month his whole life for 43 years. 747 00:43:32,989 --> 00:43:36,270 S6: He had seizures when he was ten days old. And 748 00:43:36,310 --> 00:43:39,549 S6: I feel like I'm talking fast. I don't think I'm 749 00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:42,310 S6: going to get it every every detail here, but maybe 750 00:43:42,310 --> 00:43:45,950 S6: it's a good thing because I can talk. Um, but 751 00:43:46,310 --> 00:43:49,149 S6: there's been a long history of, of up and down 752 00:43:49,150 --> 00:43:52,469 S6: with him and guilt and feeling like somehow I had 753 00:43:52,469 --> 00:43:54,630 S6: something to do with it. Maybe I did, but he's 754 00:43:54,630 --> 00:43:57,469 S6: brought me closer to the Lord because of this. And 755 00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,230 S6: over the long haul, I want to read this letter 756 00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:03,390 S6: because I think it puts everything in a in a 757 00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:08,069 S6: nutshell here. Um, and I wrote it the, the, when 758 00:44:08,070 --> 00:44:13,230 S6: he got married on June the 20th of 2017, and 759 00:44:13,230 --> 00:44:17,470 S6: it was just before his wedding. I don't remember whether 760 00:44:17,469 --> 00:44:20,029 S6: I read it at his wedding or not, but anyway, 761 00:44:20,070 --> 00:44:22,750 S6: it goes like this I will not, I will never 762 00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:27,310 S6: stop thanking God for the day he sent you to us. 763 00:44:28,070 --> 00:44:34,230 S6: October 28th, 1983. Two weeks early. £5. Three ounces. There 764 00:44:34,230 --> 00:44:36,710 S6: hasn't been even one day in his life that he 765 00:44:36,710 --> 00:44:39,549 S6: did not have. That you did not have some kind 766 00:44:39,550 --> 00:44:43,630 S6: of physical problem. On the surface, it seems so unfair. 767 00:44:43,630 --> 00:44:46,950 S6: But God has a plan. And what Satan intended for 768 00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:50,709 S6: evil God intends and uses for good. When I look 769 00:44:50,710 --> 00:44:54,629 S6: at the way he. You have endured pain and you 770 00:44:54,670 --> 00:44:59,029 S6: continue on with the positive attitude, I cannot deny that 771 00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:02,750 S6: God has gifted you. When I see how others are 772 00:45:02,750 --> 00:45:06,310 S6: so fond of you, and how they are always asking 773 00:45:06,310 --> 00:45:10,670 S6: me how you are, I'm convinced that God has gifted you. 774 00:45:11,350 --> 00:45:15,149 S6: When I see your determination and perseverance against the hardship, 775 00:45:15,510 --> 00:45:18,989 S6: I know that he is not that he is not 776 00:45:18,989 --> 00:45:22,310 S6: only gifted you, but you are a gift from God. 777 00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:25,670 S6: That is at least one thing we did right. We 778 00:45:25,710 --> 00:45:29,350 S6: named you well, because Nathan equals gifts equals. 779 00:45:30,390 --> 00:45:32,590 S1: Okay, let me jump in here, Tim, because we're almost 780 00:45:32,590 --> 00:45:36,950 S1: out of time. But that's it. The you gave him 781 00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:40,629 S1: that gift of words in and how he has affected you, 782 00:45:40,670 --> 00:45:44,350 S1: how he's changed your life because he was a gift 783 00:45:44,350 --> 00:45:47,390 S1: to you. And that's a good way to wrap up 784 00:45:47,390 --> 00:45:51,029 S1: our program here today. And, uh, Cindy and Joe, I 785 00:45:51,030 --> 00:45:54,509 S1: know that your life and with Joey speaks that same 786 00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:57,320 S1: thing real quick. What do you say about that? 787 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,439 S2: Well, I just want to thank the caller. That was 788 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,600 S2: very encouraging. And I have a strong feeling you had 789 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,800 S2: a lot to do with how he turned out. Job 790 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,480 S2: well done. 791 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,840 S3: Well done indeed, my friend. Amen. God bless you. 792 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,200 S1: The special needs Parent, a guide to the Life You 793 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,480 S1: Never Expected is by Cindy and Joe Ferrini. You can 794 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:21,279 S1: find out more. We have it linked at Chris Fabry live.org. 795 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:28,279 S1: Chris Fabry live.org. Just scratch the surface of the. The 796 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,839 S1: good hope that you give to all the parents who 797 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,920 S1: are parents of special needs kids, Cindy and Joe. Thanks 798 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:39,080 S1: for your your support here today. And come on back 799 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,200 S1: and see us again real soon. Again, the special needs 800 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:46,520 S1: parent Chris Fabbri live.org. Our program's production of Moody Radio, 801 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,880 S1: a Ministry of Moody Bible Institute.