1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,639 S1: Today at the radio backyard fence. I want you to 2 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:13,480 S1: think about your fence, your limits, your limitations. Do you 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,360 S1: have any of those? What if your limitations, the things 4 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,239 S1: that you feel are holding you back from being all 5 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,680 S1: you can be? What if those limits are a gift 6 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:27,920 S1: from God? Look at the weaknesses that you might resent 7 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,920 S1: that are in your life right now. Look at all 8 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,120 S1: the ways that you've been pushing yourself against the boundaries 9 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,000 S1: of your life. Trying to do more, to be more, 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,720 S1: to achieve, to become a success, to find the outcome. 11 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,839 S1: What if the boundaries you feel that lead to shame 12 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:50,680 S1: and frustration are there for your own heart, are there 13 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,319 S1: for a purpose? Sarah Hagerty is our guest. Today we're 14 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,160 S1: going to talk about the gift of limitations. You do 15 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,840 S1: not want to miss this. You can find out more 16 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:04,319 S1: about her and our topic and a whole lot more@chris.org. 17 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,520 S1: Thanks for joining us at the back fence today. The 18 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,880 S1: program you're about to hear is from two years ago, 19 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,920 S1: and there was something about this conversation that makes me 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,039 S1: want to come back to it today. Maybe it's because 21 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,960 S1: you and I both need to hear from Sarah. So 22 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,679 S1: let's get going. If you hear a phone number or 23 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:26,160 S1: dated information from two years ago, disregard that because our 24 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,240 S1: program is recorded today. Let me thank our team. Ryan 25 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,400 S1: McConaughey doing all things technical. Trish is our producer. They 26 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,480 S1: are doing the heavy lifting today, and I need to 27 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,119 S1: thank some others who have picked up the support mantle. 28 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,080 S1: They are doing the work of funding what we do 29 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,320 S1: here each day. So thank you friends who give a 30 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:49,000 S1: one time gift. Thank you back fence partners who say 31 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,040 S1: I believe in what you're doing. I want to support 32 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,680 S1: you each month. I can't tell you how much these 33 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,360 S1: people mean to us. Not only the gifts you contribute, 34 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,080 S1: but then the encouragement I see in the messages that 35 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,560 S1: you leave, the emails, the voicemails, it's like when you 36 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,920 S1: invest in a program like this, you are part of 37 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,320 S1: it and you are. Some of the response I see 38 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,960 S1: is from the thank yous that we send resources. I 39 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,880 S1: know I'm going to hear from some friends and partners 40 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,120 S1: who will say, thank you for alerting us to the 41 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:22,080 S1: new book from Colleen Chow. We've been following Colleen's story 42 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,919 S1: the last few years. She has a terminal diagnosis, and 43 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,000 S1: God has given her more days, more strength for her journey. 44 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,400 S1: And the new book is so encouraging, it's titled On 45 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:37,120 S1: Our Way Home. I love that mental picture, she writes. 46 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,200 S1: Let's peek through the shadows of this world into the 47 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:44,760 S1: solid realities to come. Because whether we have one more 48 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:49,160 S1: day or six more decades, you and I are on 49 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,960 S1: our way home. Give a gift of any size or 50 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,079 S1: become a back fence partner. I'd love to put this 51 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,400 S1: in your hands. You or someone you know needs this 52 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,200 S1: book on our real home that is waiting. Go to 53 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,320 S1: Chris Fabry live.org. Scroll down. You'll see how to become 54 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:09,560 S1: a friend or partner right there. Chris Fabry live.org or 55 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:19,920 S1: call 866958669532279. And thank you for making a program like 56 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:25,280 S1: today's conversation available. Every now and then, I stumble across 57 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,120 S1: something that explains my life to me. And for me. 58 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,519 S1: Often it's fiction because I think in terms of story, 59 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,000 S1: it's just how my brain lights up. It's how I 60 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,560 S1: come alive. It's how God sometimes will knock on the 61 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,160 S1: back door of my heart and say, hey, here you are. 62 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,640 S1: This is you right here in this story. From the 63 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,640 S1: moment I opened the gift of limitations, I was captured 64 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:54,440 S1: by both Sarah Hagerty's story as well as how she 65 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,320 S1: interprets the limits in her life. Who is she? Well, 66 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,360 S1: I'll tell you. She's a best selling author. Wife to Nate, 67 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:05,640 S1: mom to seven children. She runs. She walks through the woods. 68 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,080 S1: Lives near Kansas City. Probably roots for the. That team 69 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,400 S1: that's there. And the red and the white. And our 70 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:18,120 S1: featured resource is her book, The Gift of Limitations Finding 71 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,880 S1: Beauty in Your Boundaries. Sara, is that right? Do you 72 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,560 S1: root for that team that is not that successful? 73 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,920 S2: Oh, please. You cannot live in Kansas City and not 74 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,280 S2: be a Chiefs fan. I think there's maybe two of 75 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,679 S2: them out there and I'm not one of them. 76 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,800 S1: Yes. Well, congratulations. It is, uh, it is fun to 77 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:37,359 S1: watch and fun to watch. 78 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,080 S2: Good year for. 79 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,400 S1: Us. That's right. And it's been a good two years. 80 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,320 S1: We'll see if three happens. Okay. But there is the 81 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,800 S1: limitation right there. You know we won two but we 82 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,760 S1: got to get three because then we're going to be historic. 83 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,400 S1: It's even in football isn't it. 84 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,440 S2: Mhm. It is. We live that way. Right. Like we 85 00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:57,050 S2: get the goal and we can sit in it for 86 00:04:57,050 --> 00:05:00,530 S2: about 3.5 minutes before we're going. What's next? 87 00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:03,969 S1: Yes, that happened to me. Uh, because you and I 88 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,170 S1: were talking before the program and publishing that happened when 89 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,850 S1: I got my very first book. I dreamed about this. 90 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:11,890 S1: I held it in my hands. I went to the publisher, 91 00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,970 S1: I opened it up, my wife and my kids were there, 92 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,370 S1: and we opened it up and I held it in 93 00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:16,810 S1: my hands. And I looked at it and I thought, 94 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:18,770 S1: when's the next one coming out? 95 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:20,450 S2: Isn't that interesting? 96 00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:22,969 S1: That's the first thought that I had. And I thought, 97 00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:27,690 S1: you ungrateful. But it it's showing again. What you're doing 98 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:31,130 S1: here is you're showing our heart to ourselves, right? 99 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,650 S2: Mhm. That's right. Our eyes really do rest if we 100 00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:37,810 S2: picture our life like a plot of land and a 101 00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:41,089 S2: fence around it. We live so much of our lives 102 00:05:41,089 --> 00:05:44,010 S2: with our eyes over the fence line. You know your 103 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,610 S2: story of your book? I live that right. I have 104 00:05:46,610 --> 00:05:50,770 S2: a moment. That's beautiful. God given, intended for me to savor. 105 00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:55,890 S2: And my eyes flit from there to what's next? Unthinking. 106 00:05:57,610 --> 00:06:02,210 S1: Exactly. So you write about the ache of our limits. 107 00:06:02,410 --> 00:06:05,050 S1: Define that. What do you mean when you say limits 108 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:08,330 S1: or limitations or boundaries? What are you talking about? 109 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,890 S2: I think a lot of us live reacting to limitations 110 00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:15,730 S2: we've never named, but we realize them when we're given permission. 111 00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:19,810 S2: Maybe even just listening today to go, huh? Our limitations 112 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,610 S2: are the things that hold us back from what we 113 00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:24,570 S2: think we really want. And so all of our, all 114 00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:27,090 S2: of your listeners have something, right? It could be a 115 00:06:27,089 --> 00:06:32,050 S2: health issue that we're waiting for a finally a negative test. 116 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:35,969 S2: It could be small children at home and we're tired 117 00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:37,969 S2: and going, when will they finally sleep through the night? 118 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,170 S2: It could be challenges with teenagers where we're thinking, when 119 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,610 S2: they're finally launched, I'll catch my breath or a challenge 120 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,410 S2: in our marriage where we think, if we could just 121 00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:46,610 S2: get around the corner or I can't pay this bill, 122 00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:48,970 S2: but when I get this promotion, we'll have a little 123 00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:51,330 S2: bit more cash in the bank. I think all of 124 00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:55,490 S2: us live with limitations. But but they have a power 125 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:58,370 S2: over us because we oftentimes don't name them. And if 126 00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:01,090 S2: we don't name them, then we can't actually bring them 127 00:07:01,089 --> 00:07:03,770 S2: to God. So there's an ache. We live with an 128 00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:06,089 S2: ache we don't name, but we react to. 129 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:10,929 S1: Here's here's what arrested me. You're on page 11. You 130 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,330 S1: say you are kept from what I have and I 131 00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:18,650 S1: can't have what you have. I want your quiet afternoons 132 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:22,890 S1: and your free evenings. And you want my arms full 133 00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:27,490 S1: of family. Your meticulously maintained lawn is the dream of 134 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:31,050 S1: the tired landowner who has the sunsets you wished you 135 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:35,450 S1: could see if your neighbor's roof weren't in the way. Um. 136 00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:39,210 S1: And this hem of the world that ties us into 137 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:43,890 S1: one narrative is the ache of our want, the ache 138 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:49,290 S1: of our limits. And then you say we live mostly dissatisfied, 139 00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:55,090 S1: bloated by the vaporous nature of too much, but reaching 140 00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:58,890 S1: for what's being served at the next table over. I mean, 141 00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:01,450 S1: that that stopped me in my tracks. 142 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,210 S2: Because we live that right. But we oftentimes don't name it, 143 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:09,050 S2: but we live this reality that I dream about when 144 00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:11,410 S2: I'm going to have more time and space in my day. 145 00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:13,210 S2: I have seven kids, and I dream about when I'm 146 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,010 S2: going to have more time and space in my day. 147 00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,610 S2: And a sweet girl stop by my house yesterday. She's 148 00:08:17,610 --> 00:08:21,050 S2: going to help me with some planting, and she's desperate 149 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:24,010 S2: to have children, and I think she wants what I 150 00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:26,890 S2: have and I want the extra time she has. Isn't 151 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,610 S2: that ironic? But we live there, right? We live there. 152 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:34,610 S1: And you lived where she was years ago because of the. 153 00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:35,130 S2: Struggle. 154 00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,209 S1: With infertility. 155 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,890 S2: Right, right. And that was really my first introduction to 156 00:08:38,929 --> 00:08:41,569 S2: my limits. You know, I wrote this book after seeing 157 00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:44,370 S2: that the landscape kept changing in my life as it 158 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:46,929 S2: naturally does as we go through different seasons. But I 159 00:08:46,929 --> 00:08:50,530 S2: still felt a similar ache in every season. And that was, 160 00:08:50,770 --> 00:08:53,290 S2: I want what I can't have. And I feel like 161 00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:56,689 S2: there's a fence line between me and what I really want. 162 00:08:56,730 --> 00:08:58,530 S2: And I faced that for the first time in my 20s, 163 00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,970 S2: when all my friends were having their babies and growing 164 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:03,130 S2: their families, and I'm going to the hospital to visit 165 00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:06,690 S2: their new babies. And then first, second, third birthday parties. 166 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,970 S2: And my husband and I went through a decade plus 167 00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:13,209 S2: of infertility. So standing, in essence, on the other side 168 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:17,610 S2: of a storefront window, watching a life happening and growing 169 00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:20,850 S2: in so many of my peers, as we were just stymied, 170 00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:24,490 S2: we were stuck and stationary in this season of infertility. 171 00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:28,290 S2: That was the first time I started to see I 172 00:09:28,330 --> 00:09:31,050 S2: can't always have what I want in God. I can't 173 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:34,810 S2: pray my way here. I can't actually wish and dream 174 00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:37,130 S2: and pray and intercede enough to get what I want. 175 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:40,250 S2: And could it be that God wants to meet me 176 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,850 S2: in the. Not yet. When I'm waiting for him to 177 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,330 S2: answer the prayer and he's going, I actually have something 178 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,689 S2: for you right now while you're waiting. 179 00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:53,890 S1: But the problem is, Sarah, that we in the church 180 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:59,449 S1: either theologically, spiritually, putting this into something that makes sense. 181 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:04,010 S1: We will think that discipleship following Jesus really hard is 182 00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:08,290 S1: push down those desires, push down those wants, don't want 183 00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:11,410 S1: the thing that you want anymore. You know, just be, 184 00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:14,010 S1: just be happy with what you have. Why can't you 185 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,449 S1: be content with what you have? And if you do that, 186 00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:21,569 S1: what you say is it'll bubble up some other way. 187 00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:24,770 S1: So let me take a quick break and come back 188 00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:27,090 S1: and let me ask you, as you listen today, the 189 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:32,210 S1: gift of limitations is our featured resource. Highly recommended. It's 190 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:35,050 S1: changing my life. And I don't say that too often 191 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,410 S1: about books, but it's like it's not changing my life. 192 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:39,730 S1: It's showing me what it is already so that I 193 00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:43,610 S1: can I can change and embrace it. Um, what is 194 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:47,610 S1: your limitation right now in your life? What is it? 195 00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:49,689 S1: And maybe you're listening and you say it's no, it's 196 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,170 S1: not infertility. It's not being able to have kids. I'm 197 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:56,290 S1: not married. I'm single. I've always been, uh, been single. 198 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,050 S1: And I want to be married. And my limitation is 199 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,650 S1: when I go to sleep at night, I have nobody 200 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,329 S1: to share the stuff that I go on a vacation. 201 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,690 S1: I can't share this with anybody else. What is your 202 00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:11,610 S1: limitation that you're staring at right now? We're going to 203 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:16,170 S1: talk more with Sarah Hagerty. Go to the website chris.org. 204 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:20,770 S1: You'll see the gift of limitations right there Chris dot. 205 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,490 S1: Sarah Hagerty is joining us today H a g e 206 00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:40,410 S1: r t y. The gift of limitations is our featured resource@chris.org. 207 00:11:40,809 --> 00:11:46,330 S1: Finding beauty in your boundaries. And since we put this 208 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:50,050 S1: as the radio backyard fence, perfect metaphor for the for 209 00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:53,850 S1: the program for you today. Um, so Sarah, for those 210 00:11:53,850 --> 00:11:55,850 S1: who are listening and they hear you're a mom to 211 00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:59,410 S1: seven children and you do you homeschool and you know, you're, 212 00:11:59,410 --> 00:12:04,050 S1: you're a superwoman. Tell us, since you dealt with infertility, 213 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,089 S1: how do you now have seven children? 214 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,810 S2: Yeah. Well, my husband and I always had a dream 215 00:12:08,809 --> 00:12:11,890 S2: to adopt. We knew pretty early on that we would adopt. 216 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,810 S2: We just thought we would adopt after we had biological children. 217 00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:17,210 S2: But after many years of infertility, we thought, maybe the 218 00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,970 S2: Lord is actually putting this in front of us now. 219 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:24,730 S2: So we adopted two children from Ethiopia, and while we 220 00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:27,290 S2: were there was I was really stirred by a girl 221 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:30,410 S2: in the orphanage who was maybe 7 or 8, and 222 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,530 S2: it was clear she didn't have a family coming for her. 223 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,530 S2: She just had these eyes that said, take me home. 224 00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:37,730 S2: And we came home from Ethiopia and I said, we, we, 225 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:40,569 S2: I want to look for that girl, not literally that girl, 226 00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:43,410 S2: but the children who are oftentimes left in the orphanage 227 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:46,050 S2: and not adopted because they're older. And so two years later, 228 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,850 S2: we went back and we adopted two more children from Uganda. 229 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:53,610 S2: And then several years after we had them home, I 230 00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:57,329 S2: had four miracle pregnancies in a row. Three of them, 231 00:12:57,330 --> 00:13:00,209 S2: I actually, you know, one was a miscarriage and three, 232 00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:03,970 S2: I birthed so well into my 40s, I had a 233 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:05,170 S2: lot of surprises. 234 00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:11,730 S1: And that, and they're right there to have all of 235 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:16,890 S1: those children limits you especially, you know, you got a 236 00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:19,730 S1: book contract you want, they want you to speak. They 237 00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:22,210 S1: want you to be on this hour long program. You 238 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,650 S1: got to figure out, can I do that? Can I 239 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:29,010 S1: fit this in? And, and there's, there are expectations your 240 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:31,770 S1: own as well as, you know, the publisher and everybody else. 241 00:13:31,929 --> 00:13:34,010 S1: What are you going to do? So you have to 242 00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:36,570 S1: that's hard to factor in and not just say yes 243 00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:37,450 S1: to everything. 244 00:13:37,970 --> 00:13:40,689 S2: Oh, yeah. I mean, I think that's when I part 245 00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:43,850 S2: of this book was birthed from seeing that when I 246 00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:46,329 S2: was in my 20s and into my 30s and wrestling 247 00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:50,250 S2: with infertility and going, I am so limited from what 248 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:53,450 S2: I want. A lot of those feelings were very similar 249 00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:57,890 S2: to being in my now later 40s and seeing my 250 00:13:57,890 --> 00:14:00,130 S2: friends launching their children, and I have a four year 251 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:03,570 S2: old and going, oh, the life that I thought I 252 00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:05,810 S2: would be living at this season, in this season is 253 00:14:05,809 --> 00:14:09,050 S2: not what I'm actually living. And I have similar feelings 254 00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:11,730 S2: of looking over the fence line, of looking at the 255 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:14,050 S2: life that I'm not living, instead of the life that 256 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:17,090 S2: God has given me. And as I started to see, whoa, 257 00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:22,410 S2: we all have this commonality in feeling subtle resentment towards 258 00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:25,250 S2: our limitations and reacting towards them in such a way 259 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:28,290 S2: that we miss the life that's right in front of us. 260 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,770 S2: That's what made me desire to write this book. I went, oh, 261 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:34,410 S2: I'm not alone. The 20 year old, 25 year old 262 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,570 S2: version of me isn't all that different than the 46 263 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:37,570 S2: year old version of me. 264 00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:39,250 S3: What did you say. 265 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:44,380 S1: To the friend who longs to have children and can't with. 266 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,900 S1: You see, as a as a friend, you can come 267 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:52,660 S1: alongside someone else and, and kind of dismiss and just say, oh, 268 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,660 S1: if you only knew what my life was like, you 269 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,540 S1: wouldn't be, you know, I can see you asking for, 270 00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,860 S1: you know, maybe a 1 or 2. You can, you 271 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:03,260 S1: can minimize the pain that they're in. So how, how 272 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,380 S1: are you a good friend to her? 273 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,620 S2: I think we as Christians often, uh, skip steps and 274 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,260 S2: one of the steps that we miss is grief. I 275 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:16,460 S2: think there's something very significant to not only naming our limitations, 276 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:20,180 S2: but grieving them with God. But we are so good 277 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:22,700 S2: at coaching ourselves out of grief. Get on with it. 278 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:27,100 S2: Be happy. Be grateful that we miss a very important 279 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:31,340 S2: step that actually enables us to be grateful. It's crazy 280 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,820 S2: to think that grief enables us to be grateful. But 281 00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:36,100 S2: I would say to, you know, even the girl standing 282 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,940 S2: in my yard yesterday, I was thinking and even saying 283 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:42,500 S2: elements of this man. This is a season to grieve. 284 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:45,540 S2: This is profound loss. And it's okay to sit with 285 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:48,620 S2: God in this. And you actually aren't forsaking God by 286 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,660 S2: giving your heart permission to be sad. In fact, the 287 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:55,420 S2: psalmist gave us lanes for that, and there is place 288 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,220 S2: and space for us to grieve with God that could 289 00:15:58,220 --> 00:16:02,020 S2: enable a deep growth in him. And I think even 290 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,260 S2: in this. Yeah. Go ahead. 291 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,900 S1: You could you could have tried to move her though, 292 00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:10,340 S1: because of your move her along. Skip the steps because 293 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:13,020 S1: and I think I do this myself because I'm not 294 00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:15,740 S1: comfortable with the grief. I'm not comfortable with the silence, 295 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:18,620 S1: with the just sitting here. And when you find somebody 296 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:20,940 S1: who is. That's gold, isn't it? 297 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,420 S2: That's absolutely. And I think it is. We get to 298 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:26,700 S2: be a little bit of the hands and feet and 299 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:30,660 S2: face of God when we give people permission to grieve. 300 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,700 S2: Because if we look, you know, I think of Psalm 34, 301 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:36,700 S2: God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those that 302 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:38,620 S2: are crushed in spirit. And I think we have in 303 00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:41,660 S2: our minds, That's surely someone who just lost a spouse 304 00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:45,140 S2: or lost a child. And while that's very true, many 305 00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:49,260 S2: of us have brokenheartedness in our life that is hard 306 00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:52,060 S2: and that God wants to be near to, that he 307 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:54,220 S2: wants to hold. You know, I think of even when 308 00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:56,860 S2: I found out I had this last surprise pregnancy, I 309 00:16:56,860 --> 00:17:00,420 S2: was 42 and very tired and raising kids who'd been 310 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,620 S2: through significant trauma. And literally two nights before I found 311 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,540 S2: out I was pregnant, I said to my husband, there's 312 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:08,020 S2: just not enough of me. There are too many needs 313 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,699 S2: in this house, and there's not enough of me to 314 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,260 S2: go around. I'm going to drown. And then two days later, 315 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:14,860 S2: I found out. I find out that I'm pregnant. And 316 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,020 S2: in that I could say, girl, you've wanted this your 317 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:20,740 S2: whole life and you wanted a big family, and now 318 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,700 S2: you have it, get on with it. But instead, it 319 00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:26,460 S2: really felt like the tender heart of God to me 320 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,340 S2: was to, as a father, say, it's okay to grieve this. 321 00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:33,260 S2: It's okay to go. This is going to be hard. 322 00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:36,300 S2: It's okay to acknowledge that you feel like there's too 323 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:40,540 S2: much for your capabilities right now. And I did grieve 324 00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:44,300 S2: and I gave myself permission to grieve, which ultimately opened 325 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,300 S2: my heart up to receive what is now one of 326 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:49,220 S2: the greatest blessings in my life. This blonde, curly haired 327 00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,619 S2: little four year old who is like such a sprite 328 00:17:51,619 --> 00:17:53,020 S2: and I can't get enough of her. 329 00:17:53,859 --> 00:17:56,420 S1: But we want to move. We want to move people 330 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:59,260 S1: because we want to move ourselves. You know, God's not 331 00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,780 S1: going to give you more than you can handle. I've 332 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,060 S1: heard that a lot of times. And I look at 333 00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:07,859 S1: the garden, I look at Gethsemane, and I see in 334 00:18:07,859 --> 00:18:11,820 S1: his humanity Jesus struggling. We're going to talk about that 335 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:16,740 S1: next week. But Jesus struggling with this weight that he 336 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:21,300 S1: is asked by the father to carry, that he says 337 00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:25,859 S1: if there's some other way, you know, and then and 338 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:29,220 S1: then to make the decision and to say, and he 339 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:32,380 S1: had already made the decision, but he's just struggling with it. 340 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,540 S1: There's a there's a gift there, isn't there? 341 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:38,340 S2: There really is. And, you know, Psalm 22. Jesus used 342 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:41,660 S2: the words in Psalm 22, My God, my God, why 343 00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:45,020 S2: have you forsaken me? He used those words on the cross. 344 00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:47,580 S2: And I think there's really a, um. He gives us 345 00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:51,980 S2: language and permission for what it looks like to sit 346 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:55,060 S2: with God in the pain. And at the end of 347 00:18:55,060 --> 00:19:00,020 S2: Psalm 22, ultimately is praise. And not that Jesus actually 348 00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,780 S2: used those words of praise on the cross, he just 349 00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:04,460 S2: used the first part of Psalm 22. But if we 350 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:08,460 S2: watch in the Bible, we have a grid for weeping 351 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:11,420 S2: before God such that we can eventually praise. I think 352 00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:14,340 S2: in the life of Joseph, you know, he, I don't know, 353 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:17,140 S2: I feel like it's 7 or 10 times. Joseph is 354 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:20,060 S2: noted as weeping in the Bible. And what we remember 355 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,380 S2: is him looking at his brothers and saying, what you 356 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:25,580 S2: intended for evil, God meant for good. But there's a 357 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:30,180 S2: backstory there where Joseph actually wept through his life, such 358 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:32,380 S2: that he was able to eventually say that. I think 359 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,020 S2: many of us don't give ourselves permission to grieve. 360 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:44,100 S1: (877) 548-3675. What is your limitation? What are your limits that 361 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:49,100 S1: you're banging your head up against or coming up against 362 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:53,780 S1: the fence line? Sarah Hegarty has written The Gift of limitations. 363 00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:56,860 S1: Karen is on the line in Idaho. Hi, Karen. Go 364 00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:57,540 S1: right ahead. 365 00:19:58,340 --> 00:20:03,820 S4: Hi. Um. Thank you. Um, I at first made the 366 00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:06,859 S4: made the call here because I heard you talking about. 367 00:20:06,859 --> 00:20:10,500 S4: I'm a single woman. I'm in the 60s, uh, in 60s. 368 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:13,899 S4: I'm a business owner and have been for about eight years. 369 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:18,140 S4: Very busy, very busy shop. Um, and I and it's 370 00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:20,060 S4: the use of my hands. So it's something that I 371 00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:25,060 S4: have had since childhood, uh, creativity and, and, uh, that bent. 372 00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:28,260 S4: But after you talked about putting your head on the 373 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:31,219 S4: pillow and I'm single, putting, putting your head on the 374 00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:35,459 S4: pillow and having someone to share, share things with that. 375 00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:38,700 S4: That just really prompted me to call because it's really 376 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:42,100 S4: in my heart all the time. And, um, I have 377 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:46,460 S4: traveled alone for a year. Um, and I have built 378 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:49,859 S4: my own business, uh, you know, done all of those things. 379 00:20:49,859 --> 00:20:54,859 S4: And yet, um, because I'm so busy, the challenge is, uh, is, um, 380 00:20:55,060 --> 00:20:59,340 S4: is actually being too busy and overworked. And I left 381 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:04,060 S4: my shop of five years before traveled during Covid and 382 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:09,939 S4: came back and it's, it's busier. And so in my heart, uh, 383 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:12,620 S4: you know, the challenge is not only time management, it's 384 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,980 S4: some of those things that she, your guest talked about 385 00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:19,300 S4: afterwards too, about, you know, the loss. Um, I did, 386 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:23,060 S4: I am divorced for many years. Um, but I did 387 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,419 S4: lose a child early on and some of the kinds 388 00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:30,260 S4: of artificial types of things went through that too. And I, I, 389 00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:34,500 S4: it's hard to get past the grief. Um, so those 390 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:38,140 S4: things that you're talking about and Joseph crying and weeping 391 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:44,020 S4: sometimes because, uh, certainly I'm very outgoing person and lots 392 00:21:44,020 --> 00:21:48,859 S4: of people come into my shop and we have great conversations. Um, it's, 393 00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:52,780 S4: it's just a limitation that I haven't been able to 394 00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:54,500 S4: get past. Um, we. 395 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,659 S1: All want to come into your shop. Karen, listening to 396 00:21:56,660 --> 00:22:00,100 S1: your voice. I will come to your shop. You keep talking. Um, 397 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:04,260 S1: but but is it isn't it easier to stay busy 398 00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:07,899 S1: so that you are exhausted, so that you go to sleep, 399 00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:09,740 S1: so that you don't have to think because, you know, 400 00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:11,180 S1: the next day you got to get up and do 401 00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:15,980 S1: this again. There's almost a comfort in the exhaustion that 402 00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:18,540 S1: you so that you don't have to spend that time. 403 00:22:18,619 --> 00:22:20,139 S1: Is that how you feel, Karen? 404 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,859 S4: Well, there's that there's definitely that. I will, I will 405 00:22:23,859 --> 00:22:26,300 S4: say that I have had a hard time getting help 406 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,020 S4: in what I do. And it is a kind of 407 00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:32,020 S4: a it's a craft that's gone by the wayside here 408 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:32,899 S4: in the last couple. 409 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:34,460 S1: Oh, you've got to tell us what it is. What 410 00:22:34,460 --> 00:22:36,500 S1: is it, a macramé shop or what? 411 00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:42,380 S4: No, no, I'm a seamstress and I do alterations. Um, 412 00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:46,500 S4: so so it's a it's needed. Uh, it's people walk 413 00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:49,140 S4: into the shop all the time and say, this is 414 00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:52,500 S4: a dying art and I'm saying, I'm alive. I'm right here. 415 00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:54,500 S4: I can help you. You know. 416 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:56,140 S1: I love that. 417 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:59,139 S4: But but with that said, it's true. Um, and I 418 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:02,980 S4: have an education degree. I would love to educate people 419 00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:06,620 S4: as well. The other part to that is just, um, yeah, 420 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,659 S4: it's where we are in society. We've dropped some of 421 00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:09,859 S4: those kinds of skills. 422 00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:12,699 S1: And they're not valued as much. Okay, okay. Karen, you 423 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:15,620 S1: hang on right there because I have to hear Sarah, 424 00:23:15,619 --> 00:23:18,500 S1: how do you respond to the limits you're hearing? 425 00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:21,939 S2: I think they're really real. And it's interesting, Karen, as 426 00:23:21,940 --> 00:23:24,500 S2: you mentioned your age, I think it's revelatory for us 427 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:28,380 S2: that in every season we're going to face really challenging limitations. 428 00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:30,830 S2: I think there's something that happens in our youth, where 429 00:23:30,830 --> 00:23:33,550 S2: we imagine that one day we'll grow out of these. 430 00:23:34,270 --> 00:23:36,670 S2: And that's not true. And so, Karen, I hear you 431 00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:41,229 S2: saying someone who is acknowledging her sadness and her grief, 432 00:23:41,230 --> 00:23:43,830 S2: and I think that's profound. And so what I would 433 00:23:43,830 --> 00:23:46,150 S2: say is that may even be the invitation of God 434 00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:48,070 S2: to you and to those of us who are listening 435 00:23:48,070 --> 00:23:51,310 S2: and going, oh, I resonate with that there. Some of 436 00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:53,669 S2: us are being invited to grieve, and we're afraid to 437 00:23:53,710 --> 00:23:55,950 S2: grieve because it might feel like it takes up too 438 00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:59,390 S2: much time, or it might be disruptive. But grief can 439 00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:02,869 S2: actually be a road to healing and embracing the limitations 440 00:24:02,869 --> 00:24:04,590 S2: God has given us. It takes a little bit longer 441 00:24:04,590 --> 00:24:08,510 S2: than just coaching ourselves into better living and better behaving. 442 00:24:08,510 --> 00:24:11,030 S2: But Karen, it sounds to me like you're really at 443 00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:13,790 S2: the you're at a place of acknowledging and going, maybe 444 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,909 S2: it's time to grieve some of this loss and see 445 00:24:15,910 --> 00:24:17,350 S2: what God does with my grief. 446 00:24:18,030 --> 00:24:21,430 S1: Karen, hang on because I want to read this. I'm 447 00:24:21,430 --> 00:24:25,310 S1: in the middle of the grief chapter here, and Sarah writes, 448 00:24:25,350 --> 00:24:30,310 S1: skipping the step of grieving even life's minor paper cuts 449 00:24:30,950 --> 00:24:36,710 S1: exempts us from experiencing Jesus's nearness. The lines on his face, 450 00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:39,389 S1: the tenderness of his in his voice, the feel of 451 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:43,070 S1: his calluses across our tear streaked faces. Skipping the step 452 00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:46,869 S1: of grieving prevents us from a measure of healing. Will 453 00:24:46,869 --> 00:24:51,310 S1: never know. And then she says, all the while God's 454 00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:55,470 S1: invitation remains the same. Come to me with your tiredness, 455 00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:58,830 S1: your overwhelm, your sadness over what you thought this season 456 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:02,230 S1: would be. Come to me. Come to me with lower 457 00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:06,109 S1: case aches. I love that the ones your dad might 458 00:25:06,109 --> 00:25:10,030 S1: coach you out of, or your sister might say are foolish. 459 00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:14,350 S1: The ones that don't compare with the child starving in Africa. 460 00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:17,790 S1: Come to me with those eggs. Yes. Come to me 461 00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:20,830 S1: when your neighbor has lost their spouse. And when you 462 00:25:20,830 --> 00:25:25,190 S1: think it's foolish to cry over another unpaid bill. Many 463 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:29,750 S1: of us have years of splinters we never brought to him. 464 00:25:29,950 --> 00:25:33,590 S1: And we wonder why our hope is lost. That's from 465 00:25:33,590 --> 00:25:37,350 S1: the book The Gift of Limitations by Sarah Hagerty. You 466 00:25:37,350 --> 00:25:41,430 S1: can find out more about it at. Kris dot. Click through. 467 00:25:41,470 --> 00:25:46,870 S1: Today's information right there Chris Fabry live.org. More about the 468 00:25:46,869 --> 00:25:50,310 S1: limitations of life and how to respond to them straight 469 00:25:50,310 --> 00:26:08,230 S1: ahead on Moody Radio. Today's program on Chris Fabry live 470 00:26:08,230 --> 00:26:10,830 S1: is recorded. We're not with you live today, so don't 471 00:26:10,830 --> 00:26:13,470 S1: call our live number. And if you hear a phone number, 472 00:26:13,790 --> 00:26:16,629 S1: don't call that number today, but do go to the website. 473 00:26:16,630 --> 00:26:19,710 S1: We have that in operation for you today at Chris 474 00:26:19,750 --> 00:26:24,030 S1: Fabry live.org. Thanks for your support of the back fence 475 00:26:24,430 --> 00:26:28,310 S1: and thank you for your attention to this conversation that 476 00:26:28,310 --> 00:26:32,830 S1: we're having right here on Moody Radio. Sarah Hagerty has 477 00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:37,230 S1: written The Gift of Limitations Finding Beauty in Your boundaries. 478 00:26:37,990 --> 00:26:40,510 S1: And I mentioned this a little earlier. I want to 479 00:26:40,510 --> 00:26:43,230 S1: flesh it out just a little bit more with you, Sarah. 480 00:26:43,230 --> 00:26:47,750 S1: And that is, as Christians, we will sometimes you have 481 00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:50,189 S1: a friend of yours, you know, who comes over and 482 00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:54,750 S1: is dealing with infertility, and you have three verses and 483 00:26:54,750 --> 00:26:57,790 S1: a poem and a book and you know, and you 484 00:26:57,790 --> 00:27:00,710 S1: want to give. And it's almost like we, we are 485 00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:06,750 S1: so uncomfortable with the limits, with the struggle that someone 486 00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:10,110 S1: else is having, that we want to move them down 487 00:27:10,109 --> 00:27:13,590 S1: the road. Can you talk about that? The danger for Christians. 488 00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:16,550 S2: I think it actually, as you mentioned earlier, is reflective 489 00:27:16,550 --> 00:27:20,590 S2: of our own hearts dance before God. I think we 490 00:27:20,590 --> 00:27:24,230 S2: assume God is maybe uncomfortable with us being in pain 491 00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:26,790 S2: or we feel uncomfortable in pain such that we want 492 00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:28,750 S2: to move other people along. I think parents who are 493 00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:31,870 S2: listening can probably identify with you here, one of your 494 00:27:31,869 --> 00:27:34,670 S2: teenagers or young adults wrestling with something. And don't you 495 00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:37,030 S2: surely want to give them the nugget of wisdom that 496 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,830 S2: will get them out of that pain? And I do 497 00:27:39,830 --> 00:27:43,430 S2: think it's reflective of perhaps our theology and our understanding 498 00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:46,109 S2: of God is an emotional God, and God is one 499 00:27:46,109 --> 00:27:49,030 S2: who actually gave us lanes for our grief in the 500 00:27:49,030 --> 00:27:52,830 S2: Psalms and permission to grieve in the Psalms. And I 501 00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:55,190 S2: think at times we put that into categories of, well, 502 00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:57,590 S2: if it's a big loss, I can surely grieve. But 503 00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,590 S2: can I grieve the fact, you know? I think in 504 00:27:59,590 --> 00:28:02,830 S2: my own life, I broke my ankle and at that 505 00:28:02,830 --> 00:28:06,550 S2: time had five kids, was pregnant, a surprise pregnancy with 506 00:28:06,550 --> 00:28:09,869 S2: my sixth and was not able to attend my mom's 507 00:28:09,869 --> 00:28:12,510 S2: 70th birthday party on the other side of the country. 508 00:28:12,830 --> 00:28:17,949 S2: And I realized I was flooded with sadness as I 509 00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:20,590 S2: looked at aunts and uncles flying in for it and 510 00:28:20,590 --> 00:28:22,670 S2: all that they did to celebrate her. And my mom 511 00:28:22,670 --> 00:28:25,830 S2: is such a A wonderful beacon of light in my life. 512 00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:27,950 S2: And I couldn't celebrate. And I would have thought, well, 513 00:28:27,950 --> 00:28:31,030 S2: this is just a small thing. Get over it. Or just, 514 00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:33,430 S2: you know, I'd suddenly be cynical that, like, I have 515 00:28:33,430 --> 00:28:36,990 S2: all these kids. And so I can't do this because 516 00:28:36,990 --> 00:28:39,230 S2: I have a broken ankle. I need somebody to travel 517 00:28:39,230 --> 00:28:42,710 S2: with me. I can't be gone for that long. But instead, 518 00:28:42,710 --> 00:28:45,270 S2: I really felt the permission of God. Like, this may 519 00:28:45,270 --> 00:28:48,310 S2: seem small to you, but I care about this. Sarah, 520 00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:50,790 S2: will you grieve with me? Will you sit with me 521 00:28:50,790 --> 00:28:53,510 S2: in the ache of missing this because of a physical 522 00:28:53,510 --> 00:28:57,310 S2: limitation and because of the limitations under your roof? And 523 00:28:57,310 --> 00:29:00,469 S2: all of a sudden, that part of my story and 524 00:29:00,470 --> 00:29:03,790 S2: my understanding of myself moved to just the common line 525 00:29:03,790 --> 00:29:06,470 S2: in my head of you have too much going on 526 00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:08,670 S2: to be able to care for things you want to 527 00:29:08,710 --> 00:29:11,790 S2: care for too. Oh, there are layers here that God 528 00:29:11,790 --> 00:29:13,750 S2: wants to tend to in my heart. 529 00:29:15,470 --> 00:29:19,630 S1: Because he cares and because he's kind to you. I 530 00:29:19,630 --> 00:29:22,390 S1: think one of the other things that we can traps 531 00:29:22,390 --> 00:29:25,270 S1: we can fall into in the church is, you know, 532 00:29:25,310 --> 00:29:27,910 S1: God is going to give me the strength to do this. 533 00:29:27,910 --> 00:29:30,550 S1: And there's no Sunday school teacher for the fifth graders 534 00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:34,070 S1: and there's nobody responding. And I need to and I've 535 00:29:34,070 --> 00:29:36,550 S1: also got to do this, you know, so we fill 536 00:29:36,550 --> 00:29:40,350 S1: up our schedule because with good things, with very, very 537 00:29:40,350 --> 00:29:42,950 S1: good things, you know, God bless those fifth graders. They, 538 00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:46,030 S1: they do need a teacher. But if I, if I 539 00:29:46,070 --> 00:29:51,070 S1: don't have the, the bandwidth in order to do that, 540 00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:55,150 S1: then if I say no to it, then I feel 541 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:58,230 S1: the shame and the guilt every time I hear about, 542 00:29:58,270 --> 00:30:01,550 S1: you know, the noise coming from the fifth grade classroom, 543 00:30:01,590 --> 00:30:03,310 S1: you know, talk about that. 544 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:05,550 S2: I mean, I think, you know, as a woman, I 545 00:30:05,550 --> 00:30:08,710 S2: think of the number even currently today in my life, 546 00:30:08,750 --> 00:30:11,510 S2: the number of people who are in need. And so 547 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:14,670 S2: there's meal trains left and right to serve friends. Now, 548 00:30:14,670 --> 00:30:17,030 S2: I myself have Lyme disease. I was diagnosed with Lyme 549 00:30:17,030 --> 00:30:19,910 S2: disease a year ago. And in this last year, I've 550 00:30:19,910 --> 00:30:24,190 S2: become like so up close, aware of. If I don't 551 00:30:24,230 --> 00:30:27,790 S2: take care of myself. This. This ship in our home sinks. 552 00:30:27,990 --> 00:30:30,350 S2: Our home sinks. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Really. 553 00:30:30,350 --> 00:30:33,190 S2: If mommy doesn't take care of her body, then everybody 554 00:30:33,190 --> 00:30:35,510 S2: else struggles. But then I have these friends who are 555 00:30:35,510 --> 00:30:38,430 S2: in need and coming up with these, you know, coming 556 00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:41,630 S2: face to face with these opportunities to serve and recognizing 557 00:30:41,630 --> 00:30:45,070 S2: I am just one person and I'm one person who's limited. 558 00:30:45,070 --> 00:30:47,270 S2: And could it be that just because there's a need 559 00:30:47,270 --> 00:30:50,310 S2: out there, it doesn't mean that I'm meant to fulfill it? 560 00:30:50,310 --> 00:30:52,670 S2: And in the same vein, could some of my tiredness 561 00:30:52,710 --> 00:30:55,550 S2: be that I've been fulfilling needs that I thought I 562 00:30:55,550 --> 00:30:58,830 S2: needed to fulfill because it was right in front of me? 563 00:30:59,270 --> 00:31:03,590 S2: Instead of acknowledging my I am one person. That's all. 564 00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:08,710 S1: Yeah. You know, this happens with, um, parents that are 565 00:31:08,710 --> 00:31:12,510 S1: getting older too, not just with teenagers or going to 566 00:31:12,550 --> 00:31:18,590 S1: college kids, uh, but grown adult children and the amount 567 00:31:18,590 --> 00:31:25,150 S1: of Of anxiety and angst and worry and struggle that 568 00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:28,590 S1: the parents go through because they want, you know, they 569 00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:31,110 S1: want good things for their kids and for their grandkids 570 00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:34,630 S1: as well. It can happen. You're kind of giving us 571 00:31:34,670 --> 00:31:38,910 S1: the the vision of you don't have to take on 572 00:31:39,150 --> 00:31:41,950 S1: more than you don't have to take on what God 573 00:31:41,950 --> 00:31:44,230 S1: is supposed to be taking on. Right? 574 00:31:44,710 --> 00:31:47,870 S2: Right. Well, and even, I mean, here's, here's casting a 575 00:31:47,870 --> 00:31:49,950 S2: vision for this too. Some of the things that if 576 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,550 S2: we say no to them, because as we grow, I 577 00:31:52,550 --> 00:31:55,550 S2: believe as we grow in maturity with God, we also 578 00:31:55,550 --> 00:31:59,870 S2: grow to understand and accept our finitude, our limitations, and 579 00:31:59,870 --> 00:32:02,550 S2: our inability to do it all and to save the world. 580 00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:05,310 S2: There may be areas where we're actually getting in the 581 00:32:05,310 --> 00:32:07,790 S2: way of the work of God, because we keep trying 582 00:32:07,790 --> 00:32:11,750 S2: to save a flailing child who actually needs to flail. 583 00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:15,070 S2: We keep trying to save a situation that seems broken. 584 00:32:15,270 --> 00:32:18,510 S2: So surely don't we want to fix the brokenness when ultimately, 585 00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:20,150 S2: if we step out of the way, it might be 586 00:32:20,150 --> 00:32:23,070 S2: an opportunity for God to move in a different way. 587 00:32:23,430 --> 00:32:25,910 S2: And we get to also see ourselves as one who. 588 00:32:26,030 --> 00:32:30,070 S2: Ones who aren't needed by God but delighted in by him. Yes. 589 00:32:30,590 --> 00:32:34,670 S1: You. Right. When we live where we are, we remember 590 00:32:34,710 --> 00:32:37,590 S1: what we often forget. There is so much to see here, 591 00:32:37,590 --> 00:32:41,990 S1: so much to consume. We 21st century humans have tried 592 00:32:41,990 --> 00:32:46,670 S1: to live limitless within our limits. What do you mean 593 00:32:46,670 --> 00:32:47,350 S1: by that? 594 00:32:48,950 --> 00:32:52,470 S2: I think we have, you know, in our hands access to. 595 00:32:52,830 --> 00:32:55,430 S2: I can see what my childhood best friend is doing. 596 00:32:55,430 --> 00:32:58,110 S2: I can see what my. Where my friend is traveling 597 00:32:58,110 --> 00:33:01,790 S2: in Europe. I can see the great exploits my cousin 598 00:33:01,790 --> 00:33:04,670 S2: is doing in their job all in three minutes. And 599 00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:07,830 S2: so I naturally begin to think and assume that I 600 00:33:07,830 --> 00:33:11,150 S2: can connect with people at the same time as cooking dinner, 601 00:33:11,150 --> 00:33:13,870 S2: at the same time as placing an Amazon order and 602 00:33:13,870 --> 00:33:16,710 S2: listening to a podcast and taking notes. I mean, we 603 00:33:16,710 --> 00:33:20,480 S2: just live in a way that has very little boundaries, 604 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,360 S2: because our 21st century life has taught us to optimize. 605 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,080 S2: When God moved, Jesus moved at the pace of three 606 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,800 S2: miles an hour. I mean, he set an example for 607 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,280 S2: us of living very present with the life that is 608 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,080 S2: in front of him. And we want to travel across 609 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,040 S2: continents and time zones and all the boundaries that we 610 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,480 S2: might have in a single day by accomplishing, communicating with 611 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,040 S2: many people at once. And we wonder why we're tired. 612 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:47,920 S3: Yeah. 613 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,360 S1: And you know, I mentioned this before we went on, 614 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,480 S1: this program is 54 minutes. So there's, you know, there's 615 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,479 S1: the fence that's around there. And I know that we're 616 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,000 S1: not going to do justice to what you've written here, 617 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,840 S1: but there's also this, this pang in my own heart. 618 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,320 S1: I want to have everybody on the program that I, 619 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,640 S1: you know, that that reaches out to me and says, hey, 620 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,080 S1: would you have me on the program? And I can't 621 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:13,600 S1: do it. And I live in some ways feeling guilty 622 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,600 S1: about having to say no to some really good folks. 623 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,600 S1: You know, that I could have on or conversations that 624 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,200 S1: we could have. And I think what you've written here 625 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,879 S1: has kind of freed me up to say it's I'm 626 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:32,160 S1: not judging anybody's message or life or, you know, what 627 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,719 S1: they've sung or written by not having them on the program. 628 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,879 S1: This is just the way it is. This is just 629 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,200 S1: the fence that I have, and I have to tend 630 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:45,920 S1: my pastor the way that God what for what God 631 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,880 S1: has given me in that time. Does that make sense? 632 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,799 S2: Absolutely. I, you know, we just have our minds, as 633 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,359 S2: I said at the beginning of the program, we have 634 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,920 S2: our minds fixed over the fence line more than we 635 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,160 S2: even realize. And I would say to listeners, there is 636 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,000 S2: a life right in front of each one of us. 637 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,240 S2: If we want to use the fence line analogy around 638 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,760 S2: your property, there's grass underneath your feet, there's a willow 639 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,600 S2: tree in your yard, or maybe a magnolia that's blooming. 640 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,960 S2: It's the beginning of spring, and we're missing it because 641 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,480 S2: our eyes are fixed on what we can't have or 642 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,000 S2: what's outside of our limitations. There is a beautiful life. 643 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,160 S2: Psalm 16 six tells us, the boundary lines for me 644 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,880 S2: have fallen in pleasant places. I have a good inheritance. 645 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,960 S2: Many of us can't actually step into that until we 646 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,359 S2: lean into our limitations instead of resisting them. Until we 647 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,520 S2: say no, until we go, I can't do it all. 648 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,799 S2: I can't invite every guest on. I can't say yes 649 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,280 S2: to every person that needs a meal. I can't help 650 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,080 S2: every friend in need. I can't help every one of 651 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,120 S2: my children, you know, save them out of every pit 652 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:49,840 S2: that they're in. 653 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:55,640 S1: That's Sarah Hegarty. She's written a really, really encouraging book, 654 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,520 S1: a hard book, because it will look inside of you 655 00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:03,120 S1: because it's based on God's Word, which is not going 656 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,480 S1: to come back void. The gift of limitations. You could 657 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,960 S1: almost have called it the book of limitations, you know, 658 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,400 S1: and sound biblical with it, but I like gift the 659 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,600 S1: gift of limitations. Finding beauty in your boundaries. It's our 660 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:23,040 S1: featured resource today@kris.org. I read a paragraph today. For those 661 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,200 S1: of you who listen to this program a lot, you 662 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:29,479 S1: know that I've been talking about process versus outcome. And 663 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,680 S1: I read a paragraph today and my jaw dropped. You've 664 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,080 S1: got to hear that. And we'll talk about idealism too, 665 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:50,040 S1: straight ahead on Moody Radio. So great to have you 666 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,400 S1: on this best of Chris Fabry live with Sarah Hagerty. 667 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,200 S1: We'll get right back to the conversation in just a minute. 668 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,720 S1: I want to thank again, though, I mentioned the friends 669 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,520 S1: and the partners who support this program. I want to mention, 670 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,520 S1: especially the back fence partners who give a gift each 671 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:10,439 S1: month and the commitment that you have made not just 672 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,120 S1: to give a gift, but to make it recurring. And 673 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,839 S1: there are things that you receive, like today on Thursday. 674 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,279 S1: I send out my back fence post, which is a 675 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,800 S1: video that we put together. Actually, Ryan McConaughey puts it together. 676 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,480 S1: He makes me look better than I deserve. Uh, a 677 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,879 S1: video that kind of pulls back the curtain and shows 678 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,759 S1: you what goes on behind the scenes, and some encouragement 679 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,960 S1: about what your investment is doing in other people's lives. 680 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,240 S1: If you want to become a back fence partner. Boy howdy, 681 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,680 S1: go to chris.org. Scroll down. You'll see how to do 682 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:50,040 S1: it right there. chris.au or call 8669543. If you've listened 683 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,439 S1: to this program for any amount of time, especially over 684 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,480 S1: the last couple of years, you've heard me reference process 685 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,520 S1: versus outcome. We are so focused on the outcome of 686 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,240 S1: our lives that and we go, what are the steps 687 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,200 S1: that I need to take to get this outcome? When, 688 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:09,760 S1: as I look at the scripture, God seems massively disinterested 689 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:13,239 S1: in the outcome that I want for my life. And 690 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,920 S1: he's very interested in the process of what's going on. 691 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:21,680 S1: So when I read this morning, um, Sarah wrote, the 692 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:26,720 S1: most profound, wearying agent was my way of navigating all 693 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,359 S1: the outcomes and let me back up from that, she says. 694 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,600 S1: I thought it was grief that was wearying, but grief 695 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,959 S1: was beginning the beginning of a reprieve. Was I tired 696 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,000 S1: from all the hurting in our home? Yes. Was I 697 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,440 S1: tired from the sheer number of mouths to feed? Yes. 698 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,080 S1: Was I tired from the responsibility that felt too big 699 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,680 S1: for me to carry? Yes. But the most profound, wearying 700 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,919 S1: agent was my way of navigating all the outcomes. I 701 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:57,680 S1: was bone tired from steering my course, from living for 702 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:04,279 S1: specific outcomes and mitigating against others. It's an exhausting way 703 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:09,040 S1: to live. Yet most of us do so unthinkingly. Talk 704 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,600 S1: about that. Sarah Hagerty. 705 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,360 S2: You know, Bonhoeffer said, we must be ready to allow 706 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,960 S2: ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly 707 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,759 S2: crossing our paths and canceling our plans. And I think 708 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,560 S2: in the back of our minds, we think that as 709 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,799 S2: we get older and mature in God, we can secure 710 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,880 S2: outcomes and we live towards that. And yet, when I 711 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,120 S2: look at mature believers ahead of me in life, really 712 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,080 S2: one of the signs of their maturity is their peace 713 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,520 S2: and their rest, that there is an open handedness that 714 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,520 S2: they live with. Like, I don't know how this is 715 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,480 S2: going to turn out, but I know he's going to 716 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,080 S2: be good. 717 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:51,239 S1: Yes. And and holding on to that, not in blind faith, 718 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,160 S1: but in looking, you know, back at centuries of God 719 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,879 S1: doing that and in the scriptures and then even in 720 00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,759 S1: our own lives, because so much of this is comparison oriented, 721 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:05,200 S1: we get, we start to compare. And that brings up 722 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,000 S1: all of the the angst inside. 723 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,799 S2: Absolutely. I mean, I think we naturally not only do 724 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,920 S2: we literally look at our neighbors, but we have. By 725 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,439 S2: access of our computers or our phones, we can look at, 726 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,359 S2: you know, dozens of people in a day and what 727 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,640 S2: their lives look like. And we naturally see their highlight 728 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,520 S2: reel and think, that's how that's the life I want. 729 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,440 S2: When people sit and tell honest stories, all of us 730 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,040 S2: are struggling. All of us have areas of our life 731 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,319 S2: where we are vastly limited from what we want. And 732 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,160 S2: if we can start to go, oh, there is a 733 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,920 S2: commonality in all believers in this world, you will have troubles. 734 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,560 S2: Each one of us is walking through hard things. And 735 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,239 S2: what does it look like then to go, God, what 736 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,400 S2: do you have for me right now? Not I'm holding 737 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:51,760 S2: my breath until this thing is over. Until I finally 738 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,440 S2: get what I want. And then we're going to live 739 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,760 S2: together gloriously. God, what do you have for me right now? 740 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:02,080 S1: You talk about the distance between your dreams for this 741 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,080 S1: season of your life and your reality, and how you 742 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:10,040 S1: resented that fence line. You call this idealism, and it's 743 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,680 S1: in the chapter on the myth of dreaming with God. 744 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,440 S1: So tell me, what is idealism and what's wrong with dreaming? 745 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,040 S2: Well, I used to think idealism was this beautiful thing. 746 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,440 S2: And I do think God created us with eternity in 747 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,879 S2: our hearts. So he did create us with an eye 748 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,600 S2: for the beautiful, the ideal. But when it becomes a 749 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,479 S2: problem is when idealism by definition is. I ascribe more 750 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,200 S2: to the ideals that I have than the reality right 751 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,440 S2: in front of me. And so, you know, I think 752 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,960 S2: of it in parenting at times. We can read the 753 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,239 S2: books and go to the classes and take the seminars 754 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:43,839 S2: and have a picture in our mind of what our 755 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,040 S2: family is going to be like, and drive our kids 756 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,680 S2: towards that picture at the expense of where they really are. 757 00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,799 S2: What if you have a kid who has special needs, 758 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,320 S2: or learn slow or struggles with certain behaviors, and instead 759 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,279 S2: of actually embracing them where they are, you're constantly frustrated 760 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,279 S2: because they're not matching your ideals. What if you have 761 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,359 S2: this vision of what your marriage is going to be 762 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,359 S2: like in this season, and but then you actually are 763 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,120 S2: married to a real person who sins and struggles, and 764 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,040 S2: there's a lot of fumbling to get there. But you're 765 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,839 S2: living subtly discontent because it's not the ideal that you had. 766 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,560 S2: I think we have idealism bleed into so much of 767 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,280 S2: our life that it prevents us from seeing the beauty 768 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,960 S2: right in front of us. I think of, you know, 769 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,120 S2: I mentioned earlier, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease a 770 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,799 S2: year ago. It is absolutely not what I imagined for 771 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,680 S2: this season of life and to be limited by my body, 772 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,440 S2: to be limited by my physical health. And I can 773 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:37,000 S2: constantly be dreaming about what it looks like to not 774 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,840 S2: be inhibited, to not be tired, to not be getting sick. 775 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,920 S2: Or I can go, here I am another day in bed. 776 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,560 S2: And you know what? Maybe God's giving me the gift 777 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,840 S2: of rest with a novel and my kids playing outside 778 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:50,880 S2: barefoot today. 779 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:57,800 S1: You you write the, um, the distance between your dreams 780 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:02,319 S1: for this season and your reality. The resentment of that 781 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:07,890 S1: fence line Idealism can become an intoxicating way of avoiding 782 00:43:07,890 --> 00:43:09,969 S1: the pain of what's real right in front of us. 783 00:43:09,969 --> 00:43:14,650 S1: That's what you just said. And we are master pain avoiders, 784 00:43:14,930 --> 00:43:19,090 S1: and idealism, cloaked in spiritual language, can become a sophisticated 785 00:43:19,130 --> 00:43:21,730 S1: tool for those who'd rather not face the pain of 786 00:43:21,730 --> 00:43:28,210 S1: what's right here, right now. One other paragraph unchecked idealism 787 00:43:28,210 --> 00:43:31,210 S1: enables me to keep the word at a distance from 788 00:43:31,210 --> 00:43:36,129 S1: my heart, merely responding with my head and calling it 789 00:43:36,170 --> 00:43:41,090 S1: hope and optimism. Idealism keeps me from naming the valley 790 00:43:41,090 --> 00:43:45,490 S1: of the shadow of death. And that's where you say we. 791 00:43:45,530 --> 00:43:49,330 S1: We skip steps and why grief is so important, right? 792 00:43:49,810 --> 00:43:52,610 S2: Absolutely. You know that valley of the shadow of death, 793 00:43:52,610 --> 00:43:57,010 S2: that Psalm 23 in Psalm 23? It's you are with me. 794 00:43:57,050 --> 00:44:00,370 S2: Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare 795 00:44:00,370 --> 00:44:02,650 S2: a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 796 00:44:03,050 --> 00:44:06,490 S2: We miss that when we're constantly going, well, this isn't 797 00:44:06,489 --> 00:44:09,129 S2: working out right now, but guys, everybody get on their knees. 798 00:44:09,130 --> 00:44:12,330 S2: Let's pray. Let's intercede that this changes. And I am 799 00:44:12,330 --> 00:44:14,890 S2: not dismissing the power of prayer. I've seen my body 800 00:44:14,890 --> 00:44:18,529 S2: physically heal from God, you know, in terms of my infertility. 801 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:21,090 S2: But I do think there are seasons where we're pounding 802 00:44:21,090 --> 00:44:24,890 S2: heaven going, God move, God move. And if we can 803 00:44:24,890 --> 00:44:29,170 S2: have a moment of reflection and self-awareness, we might realize 804 00:44:29,290 --> 00:44:32,690 S2: my fervor for prayer is actually coming from a place 805 00:44:32,690 --> 00:44:35,890 S2: of being scared out of my mind, that the outcome 806 00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:38,850 S2: won't be what I want it to be. My drive 807 00:44:38,850 --> 00:44:42,410 S2: to keep holding on to hope in air quotes might 808 00:44:42,410 --> 00:44:45,970 S2: be actually, that I'm very scared that if this doesn't 809 00:44:45,969 --> 00:44:49,210 S2: happen or I don't hurdle this fence, I don't know 810 00:44:49,210 --> 00:44:50,250 S2: where I'm going to be. 811 00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:53,569 S1: Which brings us kicking and screaming to the thought that 812 00:44:53,570 --> 00:44:58,250 S1: maybe we've made God an idol. Not that he is one, 813 00:44:58,250 --> 00:45:00,930 S1: but we've made an idol out of our hopes and 814 00:45:00,930 --> 00:45:03,609 S1: dreams and what we want to the outcome that we 815 00:45:03,610 --> 00:45:08,129 S1: want in this situation right here, rather than fully trusting 816 00:45:08,130 --> 00:45:13,049 S1: in his power and his work and being content with 817 00:45:13,330 --> 00:45:18,410 S1: the inability to see between across the chasm. You know, 818 00:45:18,610 --> 00:45:20,250 S1: through the valley. Right? 819 00:45:20,610 --> 00:45:24,850 S2: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think we can miss that. God has 820 00:45:24,850 --> 00:45:29,330 S2: something for us right here, right now in this very 821 00:45:29,330 --> 00:45:30,250 S2: limited minute. 822 00:45:30,810 --> 00:45:35,770 S1: Here's another quote from the gift of limitations. Children who 823 00:45:35,770 --> 00:45:40,250 S1: frequently find safety in their father's laps tend to trust 824 00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:45,290 S1: the most. A heart settling into peace with its limitations 825 00:45:45,489 --> 00:45:49,930 S1: has found genuine trust in God. Do you have that? Is. 826 00:45:49,969 --> 00:45:53,530 S1: Is that what you have? And if you don't have that, 827 00:45:53,770 --> 00:45:56,850 S1: it's okay. And he's okay with it. And that's why 828 00:45:57,130 --> 00:46:01,290 S1: yesterday's program. Sarah, it goes so well. Leslie Leyland Fields 829 00:46:01,290 --> 00:46:03,930 S1: was with us and she was talking about praying the Psalms, 830 00:46:04,130 --> 00:46:07,089 S1: and we were talking about Psalm 23 at this point yesterday. 831 00:46:07,090 --> 00:46:11,370 S1: So these two programs go so well together. Uh, I 832 00:46:11,410 --> 00:46:14,890 S1: can't say enough good things about the gift of limitations. 833 00:46:15,090 --> 00:46:17,890 S1: Thank you for writing it for for living it first, 834 00:46:17,890 --> 00:46:21,090 S1: for writing it and then sharing it with us today. 835 00:46:21,650 --> 00:46:22,810 S2: Oh, thank you Chris. 836 00:46:23,810 --> 00:46:27,130 S1: Sarah Hegarty, H a g e r t y. The 837 00:46:27,170 --> 00:46:31,529 S1: gift of limitations. Finding beauty in your boundaries. It's our 838 00:46:31,530 --> 00:46:36,290 S1: featured resource. Just go to chris.org. Click through today's information. 839 00:46:36,290 --> 00:46:38,930 S1: You're going to you're going to underline the whole thing 840 00:46:39,410 --> 00:46:43,170 S1: because it's really, really good. Come on back tomorrow. Michael 841 00:46:43,170 --> 00:46:46,650 S1: and Eva Radulovic are right here on Chris Fabry Live, 842 00:46:46,690 --> 00:46:50,690 S1: a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.