WEBVTT - Let’s Get to the Root of the Problem! 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.440 Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio. 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:08.120 This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.680 Every. Healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:16.040 bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:19.119 nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. That's really 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:20.120 simple teaching. 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.000 Yeah. No doubt. I mean, that's hard. 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.920 That's really basic stuff. But if you need another analogy, 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:29.480 Allie's got a perfect one. She got a front porch 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:30.880 that was going south in a hurry. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.200 Yeah, we didn't know how bad it was. First. Just 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:35.040 started with the crack in one of the risers. Then 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:37.560 we noticed the treads were getting more and more wobbly. 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:40.800 It felt unsteady and unsafe, so we got a couple 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:42.919 people out to look at it. And at first it 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:45.199 seemed like, okay, you know, this is going to be 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:49.240 not too expensive. Simple fix. Replace this here and this here. 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:52.760 But as they started to pull things apart, it became 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.240 clear that the porch had been built in a really 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.770 hasty and not great construction kind of way, if you 0:00:59.770 --> 0:01:00.290 know what I mean. 0:01:00.330 --> 0:01:00.770 Lousy. 0:01:00.810 --> 0:01:03.250 Yeah. Sometimes these things go up quick and they're not 0:01:03.250 --> 0:01:06.449 done well. And so they would identify an issue here 0:01:06.450 --> 0:01:08.450 and they'd say, well, we can leave it. The joists 0:01:08.450 --> 0:01:10.890 are a little bit too far apart for the size 0:01:10.890 --> 0:01:13.650 of the porch. We could leave it or I thought, well, no, 0:01:13.650 --> 0:01:16.210 you can't leave it. I don't want a porch that's 0:01:16.209 --> 0:01:18.330 going to look good, but then sag and start to 0:01:18.370 --> 0:01:21.449 crumble again in a couple of years. So it ended 0:01:21.450 --> 0:01:24.810 up being a much more expensive project and rebuild than 0:01:24.810 --> 0:01:28.490 we had bargained for. But once we saw the underlying issues, 0:01:28.490 --> 0:01:31.090 we said, we can't ignore these and just slap a 0:01:31.090 --> 0:01:33.369 coat of paint on it. We actually have to fix 0:01:33.410 --> 0:01:34.730 what's underneath. 0:01:37.209 --> 0:01:41.649 That's the point. And today, when it comes to marriage, 0:01:41.650 --> 0:01:46.009 here's the big idea. I know I've done it. Well, 0:01:46.010 --> 0:01:48.050 let's put a little caulk on this marriage and let's 0:01:48.050 --> 0:01:49.890 get a little bit of paint. 0:01:50.010 --> 0:01:50.530 Feels a little. 0:01:50.570 --> 0:01:54.530 Cheaper at the moment. Easier, cheaper. 0:01:55.090 --> 0:01:56.810 Let me just get her some flowers. I know I 0:01:56.850 --> 0:01:59.300 left her crying yesterday, but let's just get some flowers 0:01:59.300 --> 0:02:04.260 and let's just kind of that'll kind of patch things 0:02:04.260 --> 0:02:08.940 up a little bit. But underlying what's going on sometimes 0:02:08.940 --> 0:02:11.579 flowers can't fix dip diddly squat. 0:02:12.380 --> 0:02:15.220 Not until you deal with dip diddly squat. 0:02:15.500 --> 0:02:19.060 Yeah, well, he's been working with me too long. 0:02:19.100 --> 0:02:22.380 Yeah, he's starting to so good. I'm sorry. I'm trying 0:02:22.380 --> 0:02:24.220 to control my smile. 0:02:24.860 --> 0:02:26.700 My heart just leapt for joy when she. 0:02:26.700 --> 0:02:27.260 Said, dip. 0:02:27.260 --> 0:02:28.300 Diddly squat. 0:02:28.340 --> 0:02:28.820 You know. 0:02:32.340 --> 0:02:35.540 Oh, hang on, Dan Allender's going to help us get 0:02:35.540 --> 0:02:36.940 to the root of this. This is one of the 0:02:36.940 --> 0:02:42.700 most important, kind of really salient issues in marriage. Look, 0:02:42.740 --> 0:02:47.100 becoming friends like we hit with Arlene and cultivating that liking. 0:02:47.100 --> 0:02:50.980 That's important. That's vital. All these things play together. But 0:02:50.980 --> 0:02:53.780 we can't leave this one out. What is it? Getting 0:02:53.780 --> 0:02:57.390 to the root of the issue in marriage and in life. 0:02:58.510 --> 0:03:02.590 Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight. 0:03:02.830 --> 0:03:06.630 Super dei is in the crew. It's Colonel and crew 0:03:06.630 --> 0:03:07.790 on Moody Radio. 0:03:07.830 --> 0:03:12.790 Well, everybody's got a theory until it gets tested. Sometimes 0:03:12.790 --> 0:03:16.910 those theories are then good or abandoned. I've got a 0:03:16.910 --> 0:03:18.670 man that I dearly love. And I mean, I love 0:03:18.669 --> 0:03:23.790 this guy. I don't get any time with him. We 0:03:23.790 --> 0:03:27.230 used to bump into one another on occasion, but I 0:03:27.230 --> 0:03:31.910 love him from afar. He's written some amazing books and 0:03:31.910 --> 0:03:34.950 he's a phenomenal thinker. And he's got a theory. And 0:03:34.950 --> 0:03:37.230 I want to know if this theory holds any water. 0:03:37.270 --> 0:03:41.230 It's the gender theory. Doctor Dan, does your theory work? 0:03:41.950 --> 0:03:45.750 Carl? It works about as well as, you know, a sieve. 0:03:48.470 --> 0:03:51.510 What is what is the theory that's been driving you 0:03:51.510 --> 0:03:53.670 for three decades, my friend? 0:03:54.270 --> 0:03:57.590 Well, it's so simple. It is so simple. You cannot 0:03:57.590 --> 0:04:01.870 change what you refuse to name. So when we open 0:04:01.910 --> 0:04:05.870 the door to facing reality in our own brokenness, but 0:04:05.910 --> 0:04:10.750 in our own image of God, beauty deep things happen 0:04:10.750 --> 0:04:14.390 in the human heart when we engage our story and 0:04:14.390 --> 0:04:16.950 our story of how we came to be who we are, 0:04:16.990 --> 0:04:19.630 but also the story of what we're meant to bring 0:04:19.910 --> 0:04:22.669 to the glory of God in life today. 0:04:23.430 --> 0:04:26.950 That is beautiful. What? Give us a story of someone 0:04:26.950 --> 0:04:30.070 who named it and what that did for them. 0:04:30.790 --> 0:04:32.470 Well, I'm going to say me. 0:04:32.589 --> 0:04:35.590 When my wife and I just had a conflict over 0:04:35.630 --> 0:04:39.310 whether or not a baked potato was actually done. Now, 0:04:39.310 --> 0:04:43.310 that sounds fairly pathetic for a couple that's been married 0:04:43.310 --> 0:04:46.670 for 48 years, but we were in the middle of this. 0:04:46.710 --> 0:04:49.510 We're sharing a baked potato. And when I put the 0:04:49.510 --> 0:04:51.950 fork in, I thought, no, it's not done. She thought 0:04:51.950 --> 0:04:58.000 it was done. Come now. That's pretty surface. Do our stories. 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:02.440 The kitchen was the context where my wife knew the 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:06.080 love of her mother, and almost nowhere else in terms 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:11.360 of food, was the way that she was shown love. Now, 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.120 for me, in my family, the kitchen was a war 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:20.120 zone of incredible conflict. So what we're living out over 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:25.920 a silly baked potato are the stories that have formed 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.640 us with regard to how we manage being in that 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.000 particular world called the kitchen. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.880 How important is it? Get to the bottom of the stories. 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:38.200 I had something happen. Amazing. Recently I was asked by 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.719 someone first recollection of life. My first recollection of life 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:47.880 was the great earthquake, Alaskan earthquake of 1964. I was 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:51.640 four years old and it's the first recollection is seeing 0:05:51.890 --> 0:05:54.210 two and a half stories of cinder blocks fall to 0:05:54.250 --> 0:05:56.929 the ground and see the earth split open in front 0:05:56.930 --> 0:05:59.130 of me. And if not for a dad that loved 0:05:59.130 --> 0:06:02.570 me even while I peed my bed for the next 0:06:02.570 --> 0:06:06.650 many years, that embarrassed me, filled with shame. It was 0:06:06.650 --> 0:06:09.210 good for me to go back to that moment out 0:06:09.210 --> 0:06:11.450 in front of that home, when the whole earth was 0:06:11.450 --> 0:06:15.210 shaking under me. Those things matter, don't they? Dan. 0:06:15.610 --> 0:06:20.250 Oh, Carl. Such a profound story of seeing the earth 0:06:20.290 --> 0:06:25.490 break into two. And in that sense, you're entering trauma. 0:06:25.529 --> 0:06:29.130 You're entering capital T trauma. But most of us have 0:06:29.130 --> 0:06:35.290 small traumas nonetheless. They shape the neurological structure of how 0:06:35.290 --> 0:06:38.969 we respond to the realities of the world around us. 0:06:39.010 --> 0:06:42.490 And if back to that phrase, if we can't name, 0:06:42.810 --> 0:06:47.849 we can't see change. And that's why Scripture constantly calls 0:06:47.850 --> 0:06:54.540 us back into facing reality and remembering. Choosing to remember 0:06:54.540 --> 0:06:58.300 so that we can indeed take the good and let 0:06:58.300 --> 0:07:01.339 it shape us, and to take that which has brought 0:07:01.339 --> 0:07:04.900 us harm and allow our hearts to, in one sense, 0:07:04.900 --> 0:07:08.020 come to a new level of healing like you did 0:07:08.060 --> 0:07:10.540 when you come face to face with that memory. 0:07:10.580 --> 0:07:13.820 Yeah. It's powerful. Dan Allender, Doctor Dan Alander is my 0:07:13.860 --> 0:07:19.100 guest right now. Prolific author, phenomenal communicator and wise beyond 0:07:19.100 --> 0:07:22.460 his years. And that's true because he's not a young 0:07:22.460 --> 0:07:24.900 man anymore. But he's got a lot of wisdom. So 0:07:24.900 --> 0:07:27.980 here's where we're going. And that is deeply rooted. Marriage 0:07:27.980 --> 0:07:30.460 is a brand new book. He has. We're drilling down 0:07:30.460 --> 0:07:33.260 on this all week long. But I've got to ask this. 0:07:33.540 --> 0:07:37.780 How does someone embrace a story that they can't stand? 0:07:37.940 --> 0:07:41.059 They hate it. They don't even want to remember it. 0:07:41.100 --> 0:07:42.540 How do you embrace it? 0:07:43.300 --> 0:07:46.140 Well, I don't think any of us can enter those 0:07:46.140 --> 0:07:50.110 stories without the sense of the Spirit of God coming 0:07:50.190 --> 0:07:53.910 before us, behind us, above and below. But we have 0:07:53.910 --> 0:07:57.989 to actually believe the spirit is leading us into those 0:07:57.990 --> 0:08:01.910 stories so that we have an awareness of why a 0:08:01.910 --> 0:08:06.230 baked potato is causing conflict. Oh my gosh. You know, like, 0:08:06.270 --> 0:08:10.190 that's just ridiculous. Until Becky and I were able to 0:08:10.230 --> 0:08:13.870 step back and go, wait a minute. We're each in 0:08:13.870 --> 0:08:17.430 a different kind of war zone. We're in a world 0:08:17.430 --> 0:08:21.870 where we're not just responding to the surface moment. There's 0:08:21.910 --> 0:08:25.750 a deep current. There are deep roots to this issue. Now, 0:08:25.950 --> 0:08:28.430 we're not going to spend a million years trying to 0:08:28.470 --> 0:08:32.830 work it through, but having the language of knowing that 0:08:32.830 --> 0:08:37.790 trauma is shaping the triggers in your conflicts, instead of 0:08:37.790 --> 0:08:41.309 trying to just resolve the conflict. Could we go to 0:08:41.350 --> 0:08:44.630 the roots? I mean, look, you are a gardener. You 0:08:44.630 --> 0:08:47.439 know that if you cut something off at the top, 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:51.440 a weed at the top. It's not going to get better. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.199 It's going to get worse. So we got to get 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.400 to the roots. But in doing so, we can only 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:01.040 do so with the power of the spirit guiding us, 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:05.559 because we know John 13 through 15 tells us that 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.280 one of the one of the works of the spirit 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.960 is that it brings back to memory. So if we 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:15.520 can step back, as you did to that four year 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:21.040 old young Carl who is shattered, then there is a 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:25.040 healing that can occur that gives you so much more 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.240 freedom than what you would have had before. 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.079 Yeah. Beautiful. There's hope on the way here. Boom crew. 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:32.480 You know, coming up here in a moment, Dan, it 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:37.760 seems like the the generally broad brushing the Christian church, 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:42.479 knowing there's plenty of exceptions. We have, we have seconded 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.810 ourselves or reduced ourselves to working on the leaves and 0:09:45.809 --> 0:09:49.730 external branches. And your supposition is. Now let's go down 0:09:49.730 --> 0:09:52.209 to the root. Let's not even pay those. No, never 0:09:52.250 --> 0:09:54.010 mind for a little bit. Let's get down to the 0:09:54.010 --> 0:09:57.329 root and watch what God can do. Coming up here. 0:09:57.370 --> 0:10:02.410 Doctor Dan Allender brand new book, Deep Rooted Marriage. Let's 0:10:02.410 --> 0:10:04.209 get to the root. Straight ahead. 0:10:05.050 --> 0:10:08.090 This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:10:09.170 --> 0:10:11.209 Got a good man with us here. Boom. Crew. His 0:10:11.210 --> 0:10:16.170 name is Doctor Dan Allender. He is developed a theory. 0:10:16.410 --> 0:10:20.090 And that theory actually drives his work, which is really cool, 0:10:20.090 --> 0:10:23.570 isn't it, Dan? That that what you're passionate about drives 0:10:23.570 --> 0:10:27.490 what you do. You must you must calculatedly make it 0:10:27.490 --> 0:10:29.809 so right. I mean, it must just flow out of you. 0:10:30.450 --> 0:10:34.890 Absolutely. From the heart flows all the matters of what 0:10:34.890 --> 0:10:37.250 we do in a day and how we live our lives. 0:10:37.530 --> 0:10:41.209 All right. How does a marriage move from surface behavior 0:10:41.210 --> 0:10:46.620 modifications into a deeply rooted marriage that then flourishes as 0:10:46.620 --> 0:10:48.180 God intended. How does that work? 0:10:48.740 --> 0:10:50.980 Well, you got to start with the problems. 0:10:51.300 --> 0:10:54.580 You know, when we look at most marriages, you've got 0:10:54.620 --> 0:11:00.219 those four top issues sex, money, children, in-laws, family. And 0:11:00.220 --> 0:11:04.060 when you begin to go, look, we still get triggered 0:11:04.059 --> 0:11:09.540 over certain things that frankly, in most occasions are pretty ridiculous. However, 0:11:09.860 --> 0:11:13.300 underneath you've got to begin to open the door to 0:11:13.340 --> 0:11:19.940 what is shaping my way of responding to these kinds of. Well, 0:11:19.980 --> 0:11:22.900 in the moment seem like big deals, but when you 0:11:22.900 --> 0:11:26.420 begin to look at the roots, you're often looking at 0:11:26.460 --> 0:11:30.699 where real harm has occurred in your own past. And 0:11:30.700 --> 0:11:34.660 then the question is, how do you invite God into 0:11:34.660 --> 0:11:36.860 those parts for healing? 0:11:37.460 --> 0:11:40.660 When you speak of these roots, that's often associated with 0:11:40.660 --> 0:11:44.900 a lot of pain and a lot of lot of shame. How? 0:11:45.700 --> 0:11:48.579 What's the payoff for going there? I mean, let's just 0:11:48.580 --> 0:11:50.900 cut to the chase. Somebody's sitting here going, you know what? 0:11:50.900 --> 0:11:54.020 I don't want to go back to my alcoholic home 0:11:54.020 --> 0:11:58.180 where my dad said, you're a blankety blank. You'll never 0:11:58.179 --> 0:12:00.540 amount to this as he hit me. 0:12:00.900 --> 0:12:01.699 Absolutely. 0:12:01.740 --> 0:12:04.339 Look, if you look in the mirror and you see 0:12:04.340 --> 0:12:07.820 this little black mole on your face and you go, ah, 0:12:08.059 --> 0:12:12.220 no big deal, I'll just, you know, maybe cover it over. Well, 0:12:12.420 --> 0:12:17.260 you have the possibility of letting a carcinoma grow. You 0:12:17.300 --> 0:12:22.179 have the potential of that particular skin cancer literally moving 0:12:22.179 --> 0:12:25.340 in to taking over your body. And let me put 0:12:25.340 --> 0:12:31.220 it bluntly, killing you. Yeah. That's the reality of not 0:12:31.220 --> 0:12:35.100 dealing with the things that have shaped and bound us 0:12:35.260 --> 0:12:38.900 and created, as you put it brilliantly, the reality of shame. Look, 0:12:38.900 --> 0:12:41.110 when you enter shame, you're going to going to feel 0:12:41.110 --> 0:12:44.230 shame when you enter those stories. You're going to feel 0:12:44.230 --> 0:12:47.870 a level of hurt or heartache or anger and it 0:12:47.870 --> 0:12:52.910 seems like too much. Well, you got to go. You 0:12:52.910 --> 0:12:55.390 got to go to the doctor and begin the process 0:12:55.390 --> 0:12:59.470 of dealing with what's on your face. Even more so, 0:12:59.510 --> 0:13:01.989 we've got to go to God and begin the process 0:13:01.990 --> 0:13:06.310 of dealing what's really in our heart. Otherwise, do you 0:13:06.309 --> 0:13:12.190 want death? Look, most marriages, even good ones, don't want 0:13:12.190 --> 0:13:15.910 to mess with the things that are really, really at 0:13:15.910 --> 0:13:19.349 core of our own war. But that's the fundamental point 0:13:19.470 --> 0:13:23.990 that marriage is meant to reveal. It's it's a relationship 0:13:23.990 --> 0:13:28.710 that exposes the best of who you are and in 0:13:28.710 --> 0:13:32.189 some ways, the worst. So if we have the humility 0:13:32.190 --> 0:13:35.670 to say, we need help, I need to grow, then 0:13:35.670 --> 0:13:38.790 we're going to open the door to dealing with what 0:13:38.790 --> 0:13:41.680 is at some level cancer within us. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:45.080 Let me ask you, if I went deep enough rooted 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.560 in my marriage, I was confronted seven years into our 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:52.520 marriage that my bride and at this time, we're knee 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.800 deep in ministry and we're seeing lives changed. And I'm 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.520 walking through our home and my wife reaches out and 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.200 grabs my wrist and I look down. Her chin is 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:05.400 quivering in a nanosecond. I said, what's wrong? Because I 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:08.679 thought someone died. Well, someone died, all right. She looked 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.360 at me and Dan, I am unafraid to share this 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.439 because this is too common. She looked at me and 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.280 she said, Bob, I am scared to death because I 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:17.400 don't love you anymore. 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:18.480 Hmm. 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:23.440 Now we're both radically transformed by Jesus. We're both genuinely saved. 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.920 There's no question about it. The Holy Spirit fills us. 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.160 But I was in a battle then, and I had 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:33.400 to face the embarrassment of being an Alaskan. Build it, 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.840 fix it. We can repair it. And I had no 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.850 answers for this girl, Dan. None. I walked around the corner, 0:14:38.890 --> 0:14:41.410 looked in the mirror of our vanity, and I was 0:14:41.410 --> 0:14:44.930 in a hellacious war. Satan was telling me, blame her 0:14:44.970 --> 0:14:46.690 for all of her stuff, and she would have readily 0:14:46.690 --> 0:14:49.730 admitted it. And I had to come face to face 0:14:49.730 --> 0:14:51.370 with the fact that I didn't know how to love 0:14:51.370 --> 0:14:53.450 my wife as Christ loved the church, and I was 0:14:53.450 --> 0:14:56.610 a pitiful husband. And then I had to dig down 0:14:56.610 --> 0:14:59.530 to what? What in the world made me that way? 0:14:59.970 --> 0:15:02.850 And it was a hard journey, to be honest with you. Dan, 0:15:02.850 --> 0:15:06.690 now we're 37 years marriage and she's my best buddy, 0:15:06.730 --> 0:15:10.130 and that's genuine. Now, we aren't perfect, but she's my buddy. 0:15:10.170 --> 0:15:12.650 I mean, we love each other and she loves me. 0:15:13.050 --> 0:15:19.050 But what keeps people from facing those really tough things? 0:15:20.010 --> 0:15:21.890 Well, Carl. Well, I mean, one of the things that 0:15:21.890 --> 0:15:26.810 I've loved about you for decades is your humility. Uh, 0:15:27.250 --> 0:15:30.170 you you can be brazen. You can be bold, but 0:15:30.210 --> 0:15:35.130 there is a humility of acknowledgment that there's something I need, 0:15:35.170 --> 0:15:39.380 something at times that's deeply wrong with me, and that's 0:15:39.580 --> 0:15:42.660 how do you put it better then? That's a biblical 0:15:42.660 --> 0:15:47.619 view of self that then says, but there is something 0:15:47.620 --> 0:15:52.700 in me that can bring goodness and that core. Two things. 0:15:52.700 --> 0:15:55.980 Number one, I know I need, I know I need, 0:15:56.140 --> 0:15:59.820 but I also know I want and what's the want. 0:15:59.860 --> 0:16:03.220 I want to be more of who God has made 0:16:03.220 --> 0:16:07.300 me to be, even with regard to that humility of 0:16:07.580 --> 0:16:11.540 I'm a mess. And there are reasons in my failure 0:16:11.540 --> 0:16:14.980 of my wife that has kept her from being free 0:16:15.020 --> 0:16:18.220 to love me in the way that I do desire. 0:16:18.420 --> 0:16:22.540 So that interplay I need, I want that's so core 0:16:22.940 --> 0:16:25.820 to indeed a deep rooted marriage. 0:16:26.620 --> 0:16:29.540 Yeah, there's a notion in some Christian circles that to 0:16:29.580 --> 0:16:34.590 want something is somehow unspiritual. That's a performance metric, Symmetric, 0:16:34.590 --> 0:16:35.110 isn't it? 0:16:35.430 --> 0:16:36.230 It is, but. 0:16:36.230 --> 0:16:41.270 It comes right back to Genesis 218. And God said, 0:16:41.270 --> 0:16:44.790 it is not good. Look, he has said every day 0:16:44.790 --> 0:16:48.510 it is good, it is good. But the one point 0:16:48.510 --> 0:16:51.750 he says, it's not good. It's for man to be alone. 0:16:51.790 --> 0:16:56.750 So you obviously know he is put within us, wired 0:16:56.750 --> 0:17:00.830 us to need to, in one sense, be in a 0:17:00.830 --> 0:17:07.389 relationship where we're interdependent. Yet for many men, that's a 0:17:07.390 --> 0:17:08.550 level of vulnerability. 0:17:08.590 --> 0:17:08.990 Yeah. 0:17:09.030 --> 0:17:13.190 Yeah. That opens the door to that fear of shame. 0:17:13.630 --> 0:17:17.350 Why is that for men? More so than women? Why? 0:17:17.710 --> 0:17:18.830 Well, well. 0:17:19.190 --> 0:17:22.910 Gosh, let's at least begin with the whole notion that 0:17:22.910 --> 0:17:23.910 men don't cry. 0:17:24.670 --> 0:17:27.070 Oh, I cry like a baby sometimes. 0:17:27.470 --> 0:17:32.910 Well, but you know that that's a cultural law. Uh, explicit? 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:39.760 sometimes implicit, so that that notion of strength and invulnerability 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:44.120 versus seeing that indeed, you know, the Apostle Paul says, 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:49.119 it is in my weakness that I'm strong. That's the 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.320 framework of being able to say, I need my wife, 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:55.320 but I need not so much for her to cover 0:17:55.320 --> 0:18:00.240 over or just resolve. I need her to be honest. 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:04.479 I need her to open the door to the realities 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:09.679 my own heart would not naturally face without the reality 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.920 of her calling me to be a better man than 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.000 at times I am. 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:20.000 That's beautiful. Well, we have barely even scratched it. Boom! Crew. 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.760 I want you to spread the word far and wide. 0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:25.760 And here's why. A lot of what you will read, 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:29.320 or you suppose, is that I've got to rearrange some 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:34.080 of the branches that are outward facing Doctor Dan Allender. 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.919 His supposition is different. We got to go to the 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:43.280 root deep rooted marriage. We've got a link for you 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.280 right now. I want you to text the word deep. 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.119 We're going to make it easy. We've got a link 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:50.400 where you can get a copy of this today or two, 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.520 and maybe bring it to a small group and say, 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:56.840 let's go through this. Maybe it's a men's group. You say, 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.280 let's go through this, let's do some hard work here. 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.600 Let's get down to the bottom. If you got the 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.239 courage to do it, I invite you in. Text the 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:10.720 word deep right now, just the word deep to 805, 55, 78, 98. 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:15.480 Deep to 855 578, 98. 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:20.480 A basketball mom who's mastered the dad joke, Ali is 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.200 in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:26.560 You don't have to look far in the scriptures, and 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:30.450 you find over and over again the need to Understand 0:19:30.490 --> 0:19:34.970 that the greatest issues in our life we can tackle 0:19:35.010 --> 0:19:38.210 are below the surface. I say this all the time, 0:19:38.210 --> 0:19:42.090 but it's true. The unseen things matter. Most guys. It's 0:19:42.090 --> 0:19:43.930 below the water line. 0:19:44.050 --> 0:19:47.689 How often do you say that the presenting issue is 0:19:47.690 --> 0:19:49.890 rarely the real issue? I mean, I'm sure you see 0:19:49.890 --> 0:19:52.850 this as a pastor. Somebody comes into your office and says, 0:19:53.250 --> 0:19:55.850 I want to deal with this. You know, let's take marriage. 0:19:55.890 --> 0:20:00.050 My my wife just doesn't get it. She doesn't understand 0:20:00.090 --> 0:20:03.810 me or vice versa. You go. Okay, let's. That's probably 0:20:03.810 --> 0:20:06.810 not really what's going on? Let's dig a little bit deeper. 0:20:07.330 --> 0:20:10.489 When I heard that counseling idiom, the presenting issue is 0:20:10.490 --> 0:20:11.609 rarely the issue. 0:20:11.850 --> 0:20:12.209 Yeah. 0:20:12.890 --> 0:20:15.410 Uh, it was probably three decades ago I first heard that. 0:20:15.410 --> 0:20:16.690 I'm like, bingo. 0:20:17.330 --> 0:20:17.810 Oh, yeah. 0:20:17.850 --> 0:20:18.570 Bingo. 0:20:18.609 --> 0:20:21.010 You know where I feel like this? This plays out 0:20:21.010 --> 0:20:23.929 a lot in, like, you know how we respond to 0:20:23.970 --> 0:20:27.650 people sometimes. Maybe, like, maybe you have a history of 0:20:27.820 --> 0:20:30.820 Snapping at people, you know. Someone's talking to you, and 0:20:30.820 --> 0:20:32.340 just all of a sudden you just snap and kind 0:20:32.380 --> 0:20:34.340 of say something back. That's like a little mean. You 0:20:34.340 --> 0:20:37.580 don't usually say, oh, man, I just like to snap 0:20:37.580 --> 0:20:40.300 at people every now and then for no reason. No. 0:20:40.340 --> 0:20:43.100 You go, oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I'm just 0:20:43.100 --> 0:20:46.899 having a bad day. I'm really stressed right now. There's 0:20:46.900 --> 0:20:50.379 always something that causes you to snap. And so and 0:20:50.380 --> 0:20:53.260 that's the same with every issue that we deal with. 0:20:53.260 --> 0:20:56.580 Every single one has something underneath that. Hey, this is 0:20:56.580 --> 0:20:59.220 why you're doing that. You don't just do it because 0:20:59.260 --> 0:21:00.820 you do it because of this. 0:21:01.100 --> 0:21:02.859 Yeah. You're meddling now, young Thunder. 0:21:02.859 --> 0:21:03.260 It's true. 0:21:03.260 --> 0:21:06.180 Because that's a big one. We can. It's so true 0:21:06.220 --> 0:21:10.739 that we blame surface issues for things that if we 0:21:10.780 --> 0:21:15.260 dig a little bit deeper, it's like, yeah, there's something 0:21:15.260 --> 0:21:17.980 else going on here. That's why I love James, man. 0:21:18.020 --> 0:21:23.179 You see, disorder and every evil practice, you go below 0:21:23.180 --> 0:21:28.869 the surface. There is envy and selfish Ambition. I mean, 0:21:28.910 --> 0:21:30.830 it's just great. I mean, I got a whole list 0:21:30.830 --> 0:21:35.229 of these here that are just outstanding. We find over 0:21:35.230 --> 0:21:40.270 and over again in Scripture that this whole tree and 0:21:40.790 --> 0:21:45.429 fruit versus root issue. And Jesus says it best in 0:21:45.430 --> 0:21:48.590 the sermon on the Mount. So every healthy tree bears 0:21:48.630 --> 0:21:52.550 good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A 0:21:52.550 --> 0:21:56.790 healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased 0:21:56.790 --> 0:22:02.590 tree bear good fruit. I'll tell you what, man, if 0:22:02.590 --> 0:22:04.510 you walk away from that and go. Huh? 0:22:04.910 --> 0:22:06.150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:22:06.190 --> 0:22:11.629 I mean, that's just like, that is the most simple, 0:22:11.630 --> 0:22:18.070 clear and profound principle of how lives change and how 0:22:18.109 --> 0:22:19.230 marriages grow. 0:22:19.270 --> 0:22:21.550 I mean, it's the biblical equivalent of one plus one 0:22:21.550 --> 0:22:27.439 equals two. Healthy tree. Healthy fruit. Root disease tree. Bad fruit. 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:29.040 I mean, it's pretty simple. 0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:33.320 It's really simple. But isn't it interesting? We find ourselves 0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:37.640 putting and I. And I'm not trying to be crass 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:40.359 or crude. I've done that a time or two. I 0:22:40.359 --> 0:22:43.520 haven't been crass or crude on purpose, but I've. I've 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:45.680 done it a time or two. And you know what? 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:49.120 If I dig below the surface, there's probably something else 0:22:49.119 --> 0:22:51.600 driving that there. But I'm going to I'm going to 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:56.040 say something here, not for the expediency of being cool 0:22:56.080 --> 0:23:00.119 or hip, but to be clear, we try to put 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:05.919 lipstick on pigs and we try to polish turds. And 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:09.119 when we are and I mean this from the bottom 0:23:09.119 --> 0:23:12.040 of my heart. And as a pastor, I need you 0:23:12.040 --> 0:23:15.720 to hear me. Sometimes the answer isn't more prayer, more 0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:19.280 Bible reading. Get busier. Go to a new small group. 0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:24.770 Sometimes the issue is deep introspection Going, why am I 0:23:24.770 --> 0:23:29.530 doing this? And if we dig down to the bottom, Katie, 0:23:29.530 --> 0:23:31.850 bar the door. Coming up here. We've got Ali's got 0:23:31.850 --> 0:23:34.530 a graphic for you. That is epic. She just whipped 0:23:34.530 --> 0:23:36.930 this thing up this morning on the fly. I don't 0:23:36.970 --> 0:23:39.930 know how you do that. If I had to do that. Oh, 0:23:39.930 --> 0:23:44.490 forget about it. But she whipped up a graphic, and 0:23:44.490 --> 0:23:47.530 she's also got a perfect illustration that captures this whole 0:23:47.530 --> 0:23:51.290 issue of, in its true, of marriage. And here's the beauty. 0:23:51.330 --> 0:23:53.410 If you go to the root of marriage issues, you're 0:23:53.450 --> 0:23:56.250 actually going to the root of yourself. And this will 0:23:56.250 --> 0:24:00.890 have huge ripple effects. We're going to break it down 0:24:00.890 --> 0:24:03.169 for you coming up. We're going to go to Ali's 0:24:03.170 --> 0:24:06.530 front porch. It's a little rickety. Well, maybe it's better now. 0:24:07.250 --> 0:24:10.290 He's a sports fanatic with a stat for anything you 0:24:10.290 --> 0:24:14.530 can think of. Young Thunder is in the crew. It's 0:24:14.530 --> 0:24:16.810 curl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:24:17.330 --> 0:24:20.570 Yeah, we're in a spiritual battle here. And sometimes praise 0:24:20.570 --> 0:24:22.820 is the best thing that we can do. If you 0:24:22.820 --> 0:24:26.260 see David ministering to Saul, he's playing a harp. And 0:24:26.260 --> 0:24:30.580 it drove demonic forces away. What an amazing picture, by 0:24:30.580 --> 0:24:32.740 the way. A man who knew that he was targeted 0:24:32.740 --> 0:24:35.459 by Saul, and yet he ministered to him in that way. 0:24:35.619 --> 0:24:38.540 All these songs matter. Most of them are baked in 0:24:38.540 --> 0:24:41.859 with great theology. And it matters. Give God praise today. 0:24:42.300 --> 0:24:47.260 Let's watch. Demonic forces flee. It's a powerful principle. Well, 0:24:47.460 --> 0:24:49.699 he's got a front porch that was going south, and 0:24:49.700 --> 0:24:51.380 I got photos sent to me. 0:24:51.420 --> 0:24:55.260 And said, oh, boy, so good. 0:24:55.980 --> 0:24:58.980 Yeah, man. I'm the I'm the fiddling dad when her 0:24:58.980 --> 0:25:01.780 dad's not close by. I'm the fill in dad. And 0:25:01.780 --> 0:25:04.580 I don't mind being a filling dad, especially when it 0:25:04.580 --> 0:25:07.940 comes to construction and home projects. And I've seen a lot. 0:25:07.980 --> 0:25:10.940 I've seen sump pumps in her basement. I've seen it all, guys. 0:25:10.980 --> 0:25:11.460 Yeah. 0:25:11.500 --> 0:25:13.980 I've called upon Karl a couple of times. I sent 0:25:13.980 --> 0:25:16.460 him some pictures of my of my front porch, which 0:25:16.460 --> 0:25:19.100 had developed a crack in one of the risers. That 0:25:19.100 --> 0:25:21.580 was our first clue that something might be up because 0:25:21.580 --> 0:25:25.139 the porch is only maybe six years old. This is 0:25:25.140 --> 0:25:27.860 not an old home. This was a gut rehab that 0:25:27.859 --> 0:25:31.260 was redone. Yeah. So I thought, why is our porch 0:25:31.260 --> 0:25:34.420 starting to crack? And why does it seem like some 0:25:34.420 --> 0:25:37.260 of the steps are getting more and more wobbly to 0:25:37.300 --> 0:25:39.020 where I almost want to put a sign up that 0:25:39.020 --> 0:25:42.419 says watch your step, that this isn't good. 0:25:42.740 --> 0:25:43.740 And so you get inside. 0:25:43.740 --> 0:25:45.420 It's all good. But getting here could be. 0:25:45.420 --> 0:25:46.380 Treacherous, right? 0:25:46.420 --> 0:25:49.060 Be super careful when you deliver that mail. But I 0:25:49.060 --> 0:25:51.060 really started to be concerned about the safety of the 0:25:51.060 --> 0:25:53.580 front porch. And so got a couple people to check 0:25:53.580 --> 0:25:55.380 it out, and they said, yeah, you know, the riser. 0:25:55.420 --> 0:25:57.540 We need to check the stringers and make sure things 0:25:57.540 --> 0:26:00.220 are are stable and sound. And we got a couple 0:26:00.260 --> 0:26:03.780 estimates that weren't crazy. It's like, okay, this is this 0:26:03.780 --> 0:26:06.900 seems like a fairly easy fix. But as they started 0:26:06.900 --> 0:26:09.619 to pull things apart to fix what was wrong, it 0:26:09.619 --> 0:26:12.380 became clear that the problems were much deeper than what 0:26:12.380 --> 0:26:15.379 we could see on the surface. It wasn't just a 0:26:15.380 --> 0:26:18.420 cracked riser. It was a whole structure that was not 0:26:18.420 --> 0:26:22.389 built properly. The joists were too far apart. The porch 0:26:22.390 --> 0:26:24.869 was starting to sag in the middle because the ends 0:26:24.869 --> 0:26:29.150 were not leveled out. So there were many, many problems 0:26:29.150 --> 0:26:31.750 and at each step, knowing that the price tag was 0:26:31.750 --> 0:26:33.950 going up, they would ask us, do you want us 0:26:33.950 --> 0:26:36.630 to keep going? We could just leave it as is, 0:26:36.869 --> 0:26:39.630 you know, patch things up and kind of get you 0:26:39.630 --> 0:26:42.870 back with the front porch. One day, two days, three 0:26:42.869 --> 0:26:44.909 days turn to like a week without being able to 0:26:44.910 --> 0:26:47.670 go through our front door. But I thought, you know what? 0:26:47.670 --> 0:26:51.030 We can't just ignore this and pretend it's not there. 0:26:51.150 --> 0:26:53.950 So we had them do each step. Yep. Go ahead 0:26:53.950 --> 0:26:57.030 and fix it. Get it right, fix the structure, make 0:26:57.030 --> 0:26:59.270 it even, make it. So we're not going to be 0:26:59.270 --> 0:27:02.909 revisiting this in a year or two. Many days later, 0:27:03.150 --> 0:27:07.429 some thousands of dollars, thousands of dollars later, we have 0:27:07.430 --> 0:27:10.350 a brand new front porch. We didn't want to do it, 0:27:10.350 --> 0:27:13.149 but it was the obvious choice. If we wanted to 0:27:13.150 --> 0:27:15.510 have a home that stands the test of time. 0:27:16.030 --> 0:27:19.320 This is true in life. Beautiful story. Holly. 0:27:20.040 --> 0:27:22.879 This is life. You get these. 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:26.760 Overarching. And I'm going to use the word sin because 0:27:26.760 --> 0:27:31.960 that means missing the mark. Of pride and greed and 0:27:31.960 --> 0:27:35.920 hoarding and gluttony and lust and envy and cowardice and laziness. 0:27:35.920 --> 0:27:39.600 But what's the underlying sin? What's the underlying sin? Well, 0:27:39.640 --> 0:27:42.720 Allie built a graphic that has a compare and contrast. 0:27:42.760 --> 0:27:46.800 And guys, this is freeing. And it's simple. If you 0:27:46.800 --> 0:27:49.520 haven't followed us yet, today is the day because it's 0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:51.680 the it's the most recent post up there, right? 0:27:51.920 --> 0:27:54.160 It is. And it's on Facebook and Instagram. Just search 0:27:54.160 --> 0:27:56.119 Carl and crew if you want to look at this. 0:27:56.200 --> 0:27:58.960 What is if you pride is at the surface what's 0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:02.280 the underlying sin. What about gluttony greed. Once you see 0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:05.159 it it makes perfect sense. Go ahead and check it 0:28:05.160 --> 0:28:07.520 out on Facebook and Instagram. Carl and crew. 0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:10.360 Okay. Coming up we're going to tackle that a little 0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:12.400 bit and give you some hope. Is it hard to 0:28:12.440 --> 0:28:14.920 face it. Yeah. It's like getting a bid. It's like 0:28:14.960 --> 0:28:16.530 oh yeah this porch we porch, we can fix it 0:28:16.530 --> 0:28:19.530 up for, you know, a grand. Then it's like, oh, 0:28:19.930 --> 0:28:22.689 the risers are snapped. Now we can put some gooky 0:28:22.690 --> 0:28:24.810 putty on that thing and paint it up, or we 0:28:24.810 --> 0:28:31.169 can fix it. And it's that fixing it that we 0:28:31.170 --> 0:28:33.530 want to talk about spiritually. Will it help your marriage 0:28:33.530 --> 0:28:39.130 and your life radically? This is this is real discipleship. 0:28:41.010 --> 0:28:41.610 Hang on. 0:28:42.090 --> 0:28:45.969 He was running from God, but God's love brought him home. 0:28:46.130 --> 0:28:49.930 Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on 0:28:49.930 --> 0:28:51.010 Moody Radio. 0:28:51.650 --> 0:28:54.890 I use some graphic language around here at times. I 0:28:54.890 --> 0:28:57.530 don't try to do it gratuitously. I'm sure I've slipped 0:28:57.530 --> 0:29:02.370 up a couple of times. That's called coarse jesting. But 0:29:02.370 --> 0:29:05.690 when I say we're spending too much time polishing turds, 0:29:05.930 --> 0:29:08.050 I know it's a little crass, but we need to. 0:29:08.090 --> 0:29:09.930 I just need to pour out my heart to you. 0:29:11.810 --> 0:29:15.300 The analogy breaks down because you're not a turd, But 0:29:15.300 --> 0:29:19.500 sometimes we get into a spiritual kind of routine that 0:29:19.500 --> 0:29:22.900 tries to get busier for God, that we try to 0:29:23.060 --> 0:29:25.580 read more in Scripture about God. We try to prove 0:29:25.580 --> 0:29:27.860 our worth to God. We try to prove our worth 0:29:27.860 --> 0:29:31.980 to others. Oh, isn't that horrible? Yeah, we try to 0:29:31.980 --> 0:29:35.780 gain approval. And you know what? We're just putting lipstick 0:29:35.780 --> 0:29:38.860 on this thing, man. And God loves us so much 0:29:38.860 --> 0:29:40.940 that he wants us to go below the surface to 0:29:40.980 --> 0:29:43.780 find out what's really going on here. We're talking about this. 0:29:43.780 --> 0:29:45.380 If you want to rock in marriage, you want to 0:29:45.380 --> 0:29:48.500 rock in abundant relationship with Jesus. Part of the reason 0:29:48.500 --> 0:29:52.100 you're disillusioned with faith is because you're putting lipstick on 0:29:52.100 --> 0:29:55.340 this thing rather than going, what? What's going on down here? 0:29:55.340 --> 0:29:56.820 And I'm not against lipstick. 0:29:58.500 --> 0:29:58.900 I just want. 0:29:58.900 --> 0:29:59.620 To clarify. 0:29:59.620 --> 0:30:00.020 That. 0:30:00.060 --> 0:30:04.500 Sure, but but guys, you think about lust. Men listen 0:30:04.500 --> 0:30:07.100 to me. Women too. This is growing, by the way, 0:30:07.100 --> 0:30:10.220 in our society. You know what lust is? It's an 0:30:10.220 --> 0:30:15.469 overarching sin of an underlying issue. In real sin, it's 0:30:15.470 --> 0:30:20.150 gratification apart from God. God doesn't want to say to you, oh, 0:30:20.190 --> 0:30:24.510 quit satisfying this and that. Whatever. Lust and lust comes 0:30:24.510 --> 0:30:28.110 in lots of different ways, by the way, manifesting greed to. 0:30:29.910 --> 0:30:34.030 But lust is just gratification apart from God. God wants 0:30:34.030 --> 0:30:38.270 to satisfy what we're doing. Surface stuff for greed is 0:30:38.270 --> 0:30:41.750 just being discontent with the generosity of God that he's 0:30:41.750 --> 0:30:45.070 already lavished on us. Every good and perfect gift comes 0:30:45.070 --> 0:30:48.790 down from above. The father of lights, in whom there 0:30:48.790 --> 0:30:53.070 is no shifting shadow. Oh my goodness. I'm filled with 0:30:53.070 --> 0:30:56.310 joy this morning. Because if we can get to the 0:30:56.310 --> 0:31:02.550 point where we quit polishing stuff and quit lipstick and stuff, 0:31:02.750 --> 0:31:05.870 and we go below the surface and say, as David 0:31:05.870 --> 0:31:11.080 did in this, I'm convinced, is the essential discipline plan 0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:15.320 of introspection. Search me, know me, try me. See if 0:31:15.320 --> 0:31:18.080 there'd be any hurtful way. Deep inside me. And lead 0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:21.080 me in the way. Everlasting. Now all of a sudden, 0:31:21.080 --> 0:31:24.160 Bible reading has meaning. Now all of a sudden, using 0:31:24.160 --> 0:31:27.440 our spiritual gifts has greater joy. Now all of us 0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:28.960 see what I'm saying, guys? 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:29.720 Yeah. 0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:35.360 And it's so important to handle that foundational stuff, understand 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:37.920 what it is that's hurting us, and then do something 0:31:37.920 --> 0:31:41.280 about it. Because if we just address that top, top 0:31:41.320 --> 0:31:44.840 floor issue, then it's always going to come back. Like 0:31:44.880 --> 0:31:48.160 Ali's analogy. Carl, uh, I think of the story you've 0:31:48.160 --> 0:31:51.240 shared on, on the air before, when you were apart 0:31:51.240 --> 0:31:56.920 from God, you struggled with alcoholism and you tried taking 0:31:56.960 --> 0:32:00.040 an abuse, which is a medication that makes you sick 0:32:00.360 --> 0:32:03.480 for drinking alcohol, but it didn't. It may have helped 0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:06.480 for a little while, but didn't stop you. You eventually 0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:09.120 went back to it or drank through it because the 0:32:09.120 --> 0:32:11.090 the root problem wasn't being addressed. 0:32:12.810 --> 0:32:17.690 Perfect. Perfect. Thank you for reminding me of that. Because 0:32:17.730 --> 0:32:20.010 Antabuse was this. I don't even know if they still 0:32:20.010 --> 0:32:20.530 sell this stuff. 0:32:20.530 --> 0:32:21.290 I think they do. 0:32:21.810 --> 0:32:23.450 But I got a prescription. I think I had to 0:32:23.450 --> 0:32:26.690 get a prescription, I get a prescription for antabuse. And 0:32:26.690 --> 0:32:28.850 the goal of Antabuse is it makes you so sick 0:32:28.850 --> 0:32:30.410 if you drink that you don't want to drink. Well, 0:32:30.410 --> 0:32:33.930 it didn't stop me. It just snorted more cocaine to 0:32:33.970 --> 0:32:37.650 make the alcohol go down. That's a crazy maker, isn't it? 0:32:37.650 --> 0:32:41.170 But even when we are in Christ Jesus, it's easy 0:32:41.170 --> 0:32:44.570 to do, isn't it, sister? We can avoid the root issues. 0:32:44.610 --> 0:32:47.770 Because the root issues are harder to deal with. 0:32:48.530 --> 0:32:49.170 Much harder. 0:32:49.530 --> 0:32:52.370 I mean, it's easy to look at and say, well, 0:32:52.890 --> 0:32:57.130 let's take an issue like lust. It's easy to just, well, 0:32:57.130 --> 0:33:01.850 I need to stop looking at those websites or, you know, 0:33:01.890 --> 0:33:05.810 whatever however you describe it, but not deal with the 0:33:05.810 --> 0:33:10.690 underlying issue that's driving you to that. That you're trying 0:33:10.690 --> 0:33:14.210 to find gratification or satisfaction apart from God. 0:33:15.890 --> 0:33:18.770 And I mean, that can be painfully. That can sound 0:33:18.770 --> 0:33:22.650 like really painful. But if you can cross that threshold, 0:33:22.650 --> 0:33:25.370 we can all testify. Every one of us here, super 0:33:25.370 --> 0:33:30.450 die young Thunder Alley myself can testify. As tough as 0:33:30.450 --> 0:33:32.890 it is to look at those underlying issues, if you 0:33:32.930 --> 0:33:37.570 dare to cross that threshold and let God meet you there. Oh, baby, 0:33:37.570 --> 0:33:39.330 the payoff is so huge. Right, guys? 0:33:39.370 --> 0:33:39.810 Come on. 0:33:39.850 --> 0:33:43.170 And it's the only place where lasting victory can be found. 0:33:43.810 --> 0:33:46.209 It's the only place God wants you to handle the 0:33:46.210 --> 0:33:50.170 foundation of the problems. Because he wants to tackle. He 0:33:50.170 --> 0:33:52.810 wants to. You take out the bottom. And everything that's 0:33:52.810 --> 0:33:54.890 standing on top of it falls out. So if you 0:33:54.890 --> 0:33:57.410 take out the foundation of a sin issue, you take 0:33:57.410 --> 0:33:59.890 out the foundation of a hurt of a pain. Then 0:33:59.890 --> 0:34:03.050 everything that's been built on top of it can collapse. 0:34:03.170 --> 0:34:05.330 But if you take off the top, that top part 0:34:05.330 --> 0:34:06.450 can just come right back. 0:34:07.020 --> 0:34:12.500 How great that our savior didn't say if you're if 0:34:12.540 --> 0:34:15.820 if the tree's not looking right. Really work on making 0:34:15.820 --> 0:34:16.900 the tree look right. 0:34:16.940 --> 0:34:17.380 No. 0:34:19.100 --> 0:34:21.660 What did he say? He said it's a root issue. 0:34:21.700 --> 0:34:22.100 Yeah. 0:34:22.500 --> 0:34:26.420 And God loves us enough. And here's what's great. Our 0:34:26.420 --> 0:34:29.819 God is way less condemning than the average parishioner you 0:34:29.820 --> 0:34:30.860 go to church with. 0:34:32.500 --> 0:34:33.140 No doubt. 0:34:34.340 --> 0:34:38.460 He wants to meet you. He wants to cry with you. 0:34:38.660 --> 0:34:45.180 He wants to man up with you. Man. I I'm this. 0:34:45.540 --> 0:34:49.860 This to me is. And I've said this before. This 0:34:49.860 --> 0:34:53.420 is the point. If if we have the courage to 0:34:53.460 --> 0:34:58.379 let God search the inner man and to help us 0:34:58.380 --> 0:35:01.899 discover why we do what we're doing, that's producing some 0:35:01.900 --> 0:35:06.390 fruit that's really not in keeping even what we with 0:35:06.390 --> 0:35:10.270 what we want. Katie, bar the door. Oh my goodness. 0:35:12.910 --> 0:35:14.510 This is the stuff right here. 0:35:14.510 --> 0:35:15.870 It really is. And if you want to go a 0:35:15.870 --> 0:35:18.990 little bit deeper with this, explore this overarching sin versus 0:35:18.989 --> 0:35:22.590 underlying issue. I put together a quick graphic on Facebook, 0:35:22.910 --> 0:35:25.430 point you to our Facebook page, Carl and Crew Mornings. 0:35:25.469 --> 0:35:27.590 Check that out. You can download it. You can study 0:35:27.590 --> 0:35:29.870 it out. You can link to the book Killing Sin 0:35:29.870 --> 0:35:32.870 by Carl Claussen. That's the source here. So thanks, Carl, 0:35:32.870 --> 0:35:35.630 for letting us borrow this. This is this is good stuff. 0:35:37.710 --> 0:35:42.149 Yeah. This is this is one of those moments when 0:35:42.150 --> 0:35:46.710 you're doing radio where you're like, this is the issue. 0:35:47.870 --> 0:35:50.310 If you want to go deeper, young Thunder, they can. 0:35:50.910 --> 0:35:54.230 That's right. Just text the word conquer. You can get 0:35:54.230 --> 0:35:59.510 the whole book to text the word conquer to (800) 555-7898. 0:35:59.510 --> 0:36:04.549 That's for Carl's book. Kill, sin, conquer to 855 57898.