S1: Attitude must be one of humility. Don't try to pacify.
S1: They approached him in humility. They did it with two
S1: ways their words and their ways.
S2: You're listening to Treasure Truth with pastor and author James
S2: Fort Jr, senior pastor of the Christ Bible Church in Chicago.
S2: I'm Steve Hillard. Glad you're with us today as we
S2: continue our series, when I'm sorry isn't enough and you
S2: just hit on something so key. Pastor, I'm sure that
S2: many of us can think of situations or times where
S2: someone has wronged us and they've come and they said,
S2: I'm sorry, but based on the tone, the body language,
S2: everything else you can tell they're not sorry. And that's
S2: a good lesson, a reminder for us as we go
S2: to apologize. We need to make sure that that's coming
S2: from a genuine place.
S1: Where's the humility?
S2: Yeah.
S1: Where's the brokenness? Where is the contrition? Because all those
S1: things demonstrate my comprehension of the pain that I've caused you. Yeah.
S1: You know, and so the manner in which I approach
S1: you is very important. Rhetoricians tell us that 50% of
S1: what we communicate, we communicate by the tone. 30% of
S1: what we communicate by our body language. Only 20% by
S1: our words. I have it confirmed all the time. The
S1: wife says, you know, would you empty the garbage? Yeah, yeah. Oh,
S1: never mind, never mind. Well, I said yes. Yeah. Oh
S1: yeah yeah, yeah. But the way you said it and
S1: the manner in which you said it, it was like. No.
S2: Yeah, absolutely. For me I the first thing that comes
S2: to mind are my two little kids, because they're at
S2: that age now where we are trying to model for
S2: them and teach them what it means to say I'm
S2: sorry and to apologize and to, you know, recognize the
S2: fact that I hurt your little brother or your little sister.
S2: What does a genuine true apology look like?
S1: That's right.
S2: And when they're little, it's. It's pretty funny sometimes.
S1: It is true, man. I heard a story of one
S1: little boy. His little brother Mikey pinched him and hurt him,
S1: and he hollered. And his mother said, well, he doesn't
S1: understand how it feels. And then all of a sudden
S1: she heard the little brother holler and he said, Now
S1: Mikey knows how it feels.
S2: Right, exactly. And it's a good reminder for us that
S2: as we were just talking about, if we are going
S2: to make a genuine apology, then there are some things
S2: that need to happen, and that's where we're going in
S2: today's broadcast.
S1: You know, I only say one thing. If it were reversed,
S1: how would I want them to approach me? Yeah. And
S1: then I turn around and say, okay, that's how I'm
S1: going to approach them.
S2: That's a good question to ask ourselves before you go
S2: and apologize. But right now we're going to go to
S2: Genesis chapter 50 as we continue a message. When I'm
S2: sorry isn't enough, here is Pastor Ford.
S1: Not just the catalyst for their acknowledgement notice the comprehensiveness
S1: of their acknowledgement. They use three words. They said, we
S1: trespass against him. We sinned against him. The evil that
S1: we done. They use three different words for doing somebody
S1: wrong trespass, stepping across boundaries that I shouldn't have crossed sins.
S1: That's omission, commission and disposition. And then evil. If it
S1: were New Testament, guess what word it would be? Say
S1: what word? Porn. Ross say porn. Ross what word is
S1: that for evil of the words in the New Testament
S1: for evil porn, Ross means pernicious evil. No, no, no.
S1: What do you mean? What do you mean evil is evil?
S1: I'm content to just do myself. But porn, Ross, evil
S1: is evil that infects somebody else. And so they're saying,
S1: we know that the evil we did for him affected
S1: him and infected us. And remember, we saw he. He
S1: acknowledged it. You meant it for evil. You meant it
S1: for pervasive evil. But God meant it for good. I
S1: like what Peter Marshall said. Peter Marshall said, Lord, when
S1: I'm wrong, help me to admit it. When I'm right,
S1: make me easy to live with. Ain't that a good quote?
S1: That's a good quote. Notice he says. He says all
S1: the evil we did. The word did is Gamal. And
S1: guess what Gamal means? Succession. Now get this. Here's what
S1: Gamal using the word Gamal. They could have used another word.
S1: Why are you so excited about that word? Because here's
S1: what they're saying. All the evil we did. Come on,
S1: guess what it means that they understood the implication of
S1: the consequences of putting him in the pit. That if
S1: we hadn't put him in the pit, he never would
S1: have went and been a slave in Potiphar's. In other words, all.
S1: And remember, it was no picnic. Okay, let me let
S1: me just show you. Let me just show you. I
S1: know I gave you the scripture, but I want to
S1: read it. I didn't read it. I just last time
S1: I just gave you the scripture, but I want to
S1: read it. I want to show you what the Bible says,
S1: that it wasn't no picnic. We always read it and
S1: I say it ad infinitum, ad nauseam. He went to
S1: the pit. He went to the Potiphar's house. He went
S1: to the prison. Then he went to the palace. But
S1: they're saying, you know, all this stuff that happened to
S1: him that was evil. That's because of what we did. Now,
S1: you need to understand that there are some people that
S1: we have violated that we need to go and say,
S1: Will you forgive me, please? Because they are suffering consequences
S1: from what we did. There are people who have been
S1: abused and misused and confused as children that are suffering
S1: for it as adults because of what some adult did,
S1: maybe a family member, and they still suffering from that
S1: can't have a good relationship in their marriage because of
S1: what happened to them when they were children. And here's
S1: what you find. Did you know that a lot of
S1: men that beat their wives grew up in families where
S1: their mother was beaten? And one of the things that
S1: they said is, when I get married, I'll never beat
S1: my wife and then end up being just like their daddy. Boy,
S1: I tell you, I tell you a dangerous woman to
S1: marry brothers. One who grew up with a lot of
S1: sisters and a mother. No, father. Now, there's an exception
S1: to every rule. Because some of you did, I. Well,
S1: I ain't like that. And mama said there ain't no
S1: man good enough. Look at your daddy. Had all seven
S1: of y'all ain't do nothing. But I did it. I
S1: take care of God. Me and God. We don't need
S1: no man. And you go in there marriage with an attitude.
S1: I don't need no man. Guess what? And pretty soon
S1: you won't have a man. Amen. Because ain't no man,
S1: no real biblical man going to settle for you. Running everything.
S1: Man has to have his rightful place, even if you
S1: are more astute or better. And I know women I
S1: could call names, some of them in this room. You know,
S1: I live with a woman who's more, who has more
S1: wisdom than I have, but never lords it over me,
S1: always gives me suggestions. What do you think about this, darling?
S1: I know what she's doing, but I appreciate the way
S1: she's doing it. And like I told you before, if
S1: I don't listen to her, she don't say I told
S1: you so. She just looked. I told you so. Yeah.
S1: So there are women better educated than their husbands. Handle
S1: finances better, have better mental acumen. ET cetera. ET cetera.
S1: ET cetera. But if she's a wise woman, she'll be
S1: like Abigail. She was married to a fool and made
S1: him feel like he was a king. Treated him like
S1: a Boaz when he was a bozo. And so here
S1: it is, he says. Then these three different words, he says,
S1: we overstep the bounds, we miss the mark. And we
S1: did something that was pervasive evil. Here's the second one. Secondly,
S1: approach the person that you have wronged. Now, I know
S1: what you're saying. Isn't that the same thing? No, no. Now,
S1: it may occur at the same time, but it's not
S1: the same thing. Remember the first time they admitted it
S1: was in chapter 42? Now they're admitting it to Joseph.
S1: So when you're telling the individual, what are some of
S1: the problems? Well, they may not listen to us. They
S1: may not listen. But write this down. They may not
S1: listen to us. I got caught talking about brother Ray
S1: at the health club. I'm just telling on myself I
S1: got caught. We were talking about him because he bragged
S1: a lot. And we were in there laughing. And, you know,
S1: he he he wanted to give somebody advice about lifting weights.
S1: And no, you ain't doing it right, you know. And
S1: so it was like we was dogging them out, man.
S1: And usually I kind of try to keep up, but
S1: I just couldn't keep my mouth shut on this one.
S1: I don't know why I thought I was filled with
S1: the spirit, but not that day. It was the spirit
S1: of somebody else. And so we're in there talking now. Now,
S1: the thing about it is, he didn't like any of them,
S1: but we would always talk. And I said, yeah, well
S1: there's £402 self. And he walked around the corner and
S1: looked at me and for the next nine months wouldn't
S1: even speak to me. I try, I say, you know, Ray,
S1: all I can say is I got caught, man, you know?
S1: And he just he's just looking. He didn't say nothing.
S1: He just keep walking, keep walking, keep walking, keep walking.
S1: You know, it's like. It's like finally I said, you
S1: want to keep me in bondage, right? You're a Christian.
S1: I'm a Christian. I'm. I'm acknowledging I was wrong. I'm
S1: asking you to forgive me. You won't even say anything, man.
S1: And he wouldn't say anything. So I said, okay, Lord. Well,
S1: I know I was wrong and you didn't stop me.
S1: I need to keep my mouth shut. Stay out of
S1: this mess that's up in here, you know. No matter
S1: how juicy it is, don't be doing this. You know,
S1: because it was juicy, you know, because it's like. It's
S1: really funny. If you see a £402 man telling a
S1: £140 man, he doing something wrong. So it was funny
S1: to me, you know. And so anyway, and I would
S1: tell you the rest of the story, but I ain't
S1: got time, you know, because God worked it out where
S1: he needed me for something. I come out of the
S1: club and he's standing there with his hood up. His
S1: car had stopped and everybody was walking around and said,
S1: you got any cables? And I know some of them
S1: guys had cables, but they didn't like him. And so
S1: I went to my car. I said, hey, brother Ray,
S1: you need some help? He ain't say anything. I went
S1: to my car, got my jumper cables, pulled my car
S1: up in front of his, put some jumper cables up
S1: and gave him a jump. First words he said to
S1: me in nine months. Thank you. Yeah. Then we started talking.
S1: And then I didn't try to cover it up. I
S1: didn't try to, you know. Yeah, well, you know, you know. No,
S1: I just said, you know what? I was wrong. I
S1: got in that conversation, and I knew I shouldn't have
S1: been talking about you. And I, thank God, had me
S1: get caught by you. Just so that for these nine months,
S1: I've been soul searching. And I'm telling you the truth.
S1: It has caused me to keep my mouth out of
S1: stuff because I have a sarcasm about me. I just
S1: like to, you know? Anyway. Anyway. But anyway, so we reconcile.
S2: Pastor Ford, get a little personal there on our message
S2: when I'm sorry isn't enough. And I think a lot
S2: of us can relate. Maybe not to that exact situation,
S2: but something very similar. So I hope that today's teaching
S2: is encouraging to you, and you may want to go
S2: back and listen to it again. You can do that
S2: by coming to our website. It's Treasure treasured truth. radio.org.
S2: You can download MP3's for free. You can also stream
S2: the program through your computer or mobile device, or even
S2: order copies of this broadcast on CD. Again, come to
S2: treasure Truth radio.org. Again, here's Pastor Ford.
S1: So then we say, okay, no, I don't want to
S1: approach the person. They may not listen. Number two, to
S1: avoid further conflict, but you have to you have to
S1: understand that as you're trying to resolve this, it's going
S1: to be some further emotional trauma. I wouldn't call it conflict.
S1: You're trying to resolve something between two people. That's not
S1: going to be a tiptoe through the tulips. Number three.
S1: Number three, they may tell us they don't forgive us.
S1: And many of us have happened that before. I just
S1: shared that story. Number four, they may use it as
S1: leverage later on. I'll never forget. I apologize to the
S1: whole church about something. About a year later, me and
S1: this one brother, you know, had our little disagreement. You
S1: know what that brother said to me? Don't forget, this
S1: ain't even your forte. A year ago, you told us
S1: and had to apologize. I said, let me tell you something.
S1: Have you grown in a year? Has anything about you
S1: gotten better? A whole lot. So you trying to say
S1: ain't nothing got better about me? Just because I used
S1: to have that problem doesn't mean I still have that problem.
S1: Isn't it amazing how people will never let you change
S1: from how you used to be? Yeah, and that's why
S1: I see you got to cut some people loose. Let
S1: me tell you why. Because they always trying to drag
S1: you into your past history instead of trying to push
S1: you in your future destiny. Leave them alone. So that's
S1: what they do. So. So then what does Scripture say? Uh,
S1: Matthew chapter 523 and 24, Matthew 1815 through 19. What
S1: do they say? Go to your brother. Go to your sister. Why?
S1: Because you need to understand. God wants to minimize. We
S1: talked about this before in a Sunday. The impact of
S1: the offense. Resolve it at its primary level. Get it done.
S1: Here's number three. Number three. Attitude must be one of humility.
S1: They approached him in humility. They did it with two
S1: ways their words and their ways. Here's the quote. Humility
S1: is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of
S1: yourself less. Let me say that again. Uh, anonymous said
S1: humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking
S1: of yourself less. So what happens? Listen to what they
S1: say to him. They say to him, we beg of thee. Wow. Wow.
S1: That's amazing to me. They're humbling themselves before him. Now,
S1: I know what you're saying. Their motivation. I ain't talking
S1: about motivation right now. I'm just talking about the principles.
S1: God will get him right in their motivation. The reason
S1: why we've already said that the barrier was removed. They
S1: thought that the only reason Joseph wasn't making them pay
S1: is because daddy was alive. And Joseph know how daddy
S1: feel about all his boys, and not just him and Benjamin.
S1: And so they're thinking he ain't going to do nothing.
S1: But when dad dies, they was back on their way.
S1: They they had gone to a leak. They had went
S1: over over to. I was getting ready to say Burr Oak,
S1: but I know they didn't go there. And they came
S1: back and in the limousine, man. And Joseph was in
S1: the big one. Him and Benjamin was up in front
S1: in that big, long, extended one. And they was back
S1: in that little short one. And they said, man, dad's
S1: dead man. We better get this right now with him, man, because, oh, man,
S1: we gotta go in there. We produce some pleading, bro.
S1: You hear me? But what's my point? They did it.
S1: They went in humility and they said, listen to this.
S1: Thus you shall say to Joseph, I beg you, please
S1: forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin and
S1: the evil they. Now please forgive the trespass of the
S1: servants of the God of your father. And Joseph wept
S1: when they spake to him. Now notice what they do. Man,
S1: this is good stuff, because I'm going on two bases.
S1: Human father. Heavenly father, forgive me on the basis of
S1: our human father and our heavenly Father. That's good stuff.
S3: That's it. So, yeah.
S1: We pray thee. It's like saying please. Verse 18 says
S1: they fell down before his face. I ain't telling you
S1: to do that. I ain't say grovel. Lose your dignity.
S1: Ain't nobody saying nothing like that. People generally judge the
S1: seriousness of your asking forgiveness in the way your words
S1: come from your mouth, the way your body is. Uh, well, no,
S1: I just want you to forgive me, because, you know,
S1: I wasn't intending to, but, you know, you took offense
S1: at it. And so, you know, will you please forgive me? No. Now.
S1: Don't try to pacify. Jesus on the cross. Father, forgive them,
S1: for they know not what they do. So he appeals.
S1: Number four appeal on the basis of relationship and then
S1: heavenly level, human level. Here's the last one. We're going
S1: to have to finish it. Acts of restitution must be rendered.
S1: You say what's there? Restitution. Here's what they offer him.
S1: Submission and service. Why? Because of who he is now.
S1: In other words, there needs to be restitution. Listen, if
S1: restitution can be made, then you need to make restitution.
S1: If it was something that I took, for example, I
S1: need to replace it. You know, in the Scripture it
S1: says if you stole a man's cow, you bring back
S1: four for the one. Now, I know what you're saying.
S1: What was done to me? There can be no restitution. Yes,
S1: there can, because we have to realize this. Remember when
S1: I said about restoration and why it takes so long,
S1: what it takes to restore the relationship, and that John
S1: Marks relationship with Paul was done at the end of
S1: his life, he called for him and said, Bring John
S1: Mark for his prophet. How many years was that? A
S1: lot of years. 25, I believe it was. But they
S1: were finally restored. We looked at First Corinthians nine, and
S1: we saw that Barnabas and Saul were restored. So here's
S1: what's at stake in the church. Our unity in our
S1: marriages and in our engagements and in our girlfriend and
S1: boyfriend ness, whatever you want to call it, you know
S1: what's at stake, the entire relationship. Because what's going on?
S1: Remember what I said? Marriage is a union of two forgivers.
S1: And so what needs to take place? What needs to transpire?
S1: I must always make sure that I comprehend in my
S1: relationship with my quote unquote, significant other. My boo, my fiance,
S1: my wife or husband. Because the quality of our relationship
S1: depends on my comprehension of how important something is to
S1: somebody else, especially when I don't see it. So in
S1: the church is unity and your other relationship it's quality.
S1: All of it has to do with what Jesus said
S1: our charity, our love one or another. Corrie ten boom.
S1: Some of you read her story. She hid Jews during
S1: the Holocaust and she was Dutch. One of the guards
S1: that was at the place where she was in prison
S1: became a believer. She gave a speech and he came
S1: up and she recognized him. He held out his hand.
S1: Miss ten boom. I don't remember you, but I. I
S1: was a guard there, a there. German guard at the prison.
S1: And I'm a Christian now. And she looked at his
S1: hand and she walked away, and she said, I walked away.
S1: I could not shake that man's hand. I could not
S1: shake that man's hand, she said. All that night God
S1: just flashed in her mind again. Forgive us our debts
S1: as we forgive our debtors. I close with something I
S1: already said in the first message. I like the translation
S1: of the little girl. When her Sunday school teacher asked
S1: her to quote that verse, she said, Jesus said, forgive
S1: us our trash as we forgive those who trash basket
S1: against us. Amen.
S2: Amen. Yeah. Cute but true. You're listening to treasure Truth.
S2: And a message called When I'm Sorry isn't Enough. And maybe,
S2: as you've been listening to today's broadcast and the previous
S2: in the short series, you realized what I want to
S2: listen to this again. You can always come to our website.
S2: It's Treasure Truth radio.org. There you can download MP3's. You
S2: can stream the program through your computer or mobile device
S2: or order copies of this broadcast on CD. Again, just
S2: look for when I'm sorry isn't enough. A couple other
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S2: that's at Treasure Truth radio.org and stay connected. Hey, before
S2: we go, I just want to let you know that
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S2: Ford's teaching, if it's helping you grow in your walk
S2: with Christ, would you give a gift to support? You
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S2: Thanks also for listening today and thanks to our producers,
S2: Amy Rios and Ryan McConaughey. For Pastor Ford, I'm Steve Hiller.
S2: Treasure truth is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry
S2: of Moody Bible Institute.