WEBVTT - You Shall Not Commit Adultery – Part 1 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:03.720 Today on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, we're looking at 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:05.880 the three types of infidelity. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.760 Unless you determine in advance that you will guard your 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:14.200 marriage and set boundaries and have honesty in your marriage 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.200 and openness, and not keep secrets from each other, then 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:20.160 I think you're setting yourself up for a fall, unless 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.239 you determine in advance that's the kind of relationship and 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:24.520 marriage that we're going to have. 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.559 Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:43.120 of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:46.760 Life Community Church in Chicago and Wayne Shepherd. Well, over 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:48.920 the past few days, Mark has been presenting an overview 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.120 of the Ten Commandments, as they're found in Exodus chapter 20. 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.000 And we've come to see that some of them are 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:57.160 short and staccato, while others pack a real punch. They 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.720 all do. Actually, today, Mark, we're looking at a commandment 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:02.040 that so many people seem to disregard. 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:07.360 Wayne. This is a huge commandment for the integrity of 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:11.080 marriage and it has so many ramifications to it. You know, 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:15.479 as a pastor, I've married hundreds of couples and that 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:20.880 are dressed up for the occasion and with smiles, exchanged 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:25.319 vows with one another. But I've also counseled hundreds of 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:29.600 couples that are saying, I'm out of this marriage. And 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:34.520 oftentimes at the root of it is some form of infidelity. 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:38.280 And so this is a strong reminder. And if you 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:41.000 are married or thinking about getting married, you need to 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:42.000 listen to this message. 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.120 All right. Well let's listen carefully right now as Mark 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.000 begins the message from our series called Rock Solid Living 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.200 Ancient Words for New Life. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:55.880 The decision to be unfaithful is rarely ever a rational choice. Instead, 0:01:55.880 --> 0:02:00.280 infidelity is usually driven by circumstances and one's emotions. In fact, 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:06.370 most people are surprised by their behavior at the start 0:02:06.490 --> 0:02:11.250 of an affair. Now, today, I want to talk to 0:02:11.250 --> 0:02:15.049 you about three types of adultery. I want to talk 0:02:15.050 --> 0:02:20.650 to you about physical adultery, emotional adultery, and spiritual adultery. 0:02:22.330 --> 0:02:25.130 And before I get into those three, I want to 0:02:25.130 --> 0:02:28.649 say that this is a super important topic because I 0:02:28.650 --> 0:02:35.090 believe that the effects of infidelity and the consequences of 0:02:35.090 --> 0:02:42.690 infidelity have repercussions that affect people at a deep, deep level. 0:02:44.490 --> 0:02:47.610 And so as we look at the Bible and we 0:02:47.610 --> 0:02:51.810 look at one of the commandments, a basic commandment, commandment 0:02:51.850 --> 0:02:55.490 number seven, that says thou shalt not commit adultery, uh, 0:02:55.530 --> 0:03:01.610 found in Exodus chapter 20, verse 14. 13. It's also 0:03:01.610 --> 0:03:07.090 found in Deuteronomy chapter five, verse 18, and Leviticus chapter 18, 0:03:07.090 --> 0:03:12.570 verse 20. In the Old Testament, when someone committed adultery 0:03:12.730 --> 0:03:18.169 according to the laws of Scripture, it was punishable by death. 0:03:18.210 --> 0:03:22.810 You'll find that in Deuteronomy chapter 22, verse 22. Do 0:03:22.810 --> 0:03:25.089 you remember the story when the woman was caught in 0:03:25.090 --> 0:03:29.890 adultery in the times of Jesus and and the the 0:03:30.090 --> 0:03:32.930 leaders of the law dragged that woman out into the 0:03:32.930 --> 0:03:36.130 public arena? And what did they have in their hands? 0:03:36.650 --> 0:03:41.650 They had stones. Uh, what were they practicing? They were practicing. 0:03:41.690 --> 0:03:45.890 They were fulfilling the Old Testament law and the Old Testament. 0:03:45.890 --> 0:03:48.330 It said if someone was caught in the act of adultery, 0:03:48.370 --> 0:03:53.210 dragged that person out into the main square or plaza, 0:03:53.370 --> 0:03:57.090 and that they were to be put to death by stones. 0:03:57.090 --> 0:04:00.900 That's why Jesus was caught in such a A difficult 0:04:00.900 --> 0:04:04.860 predicament according to this religious people, because the Old Testament 0:04:04.860 --> 0:04:09.619 said they're worthy and they should be put to death. 0:04:09.660 --> 0:04:14.260 Yet Jesus was bringing in a gospel that introduced them 0:04:14.260 --> 0:04:18.419 into grace. Aren't you glad that you live under grace today? 0:04:20.380 --> 0:04:23.339 There'd be a lot of dead people in our society 0:04:23.339 --> 0:04:28.500 if we weren't living under grace. But it doesn't take 0:04:28.500 --> 0:04:31.540 away from the fact that God and all his justice, 0:04:31.580 --> 0:04:37.660 views infidelity and adultery with such disdain because he understands 0:04:38.100 --> 0:04:43.900 the consequences that that can bring to any family and relationship. 0:04:44.620 --> 0:04:50.780 So in we all understand the fact that at the 0:04:51.339 --> 0:04:56.859 at the core issue of adultery is that adultery is 0:04:56.860 --> 0:05:02.020 the breaking of a covenant. In other words, what adultery 0:05:02.020 --> 0:05:08.140 is adultery is when a married person has illicit sexual 0:05:08.140 --> 0:05:13.460 relationships with someone that is not that person's spouse. It 0:05:13.460 --> 0:05:19.060 is breaking of the marriage covenant. Adultery always involves an 0:05:19.060 --> 0:05:24.820 existing covenant and meeting the needs through an illicit relationship 0:05:24.860 --> 0:05:32.100 outside of that covenant. Almost every marriage ceremony that I do, 0:05:32.300 --> 0:05:36.740 the bride especially wants to ask me, well, how is 0:05:36.740 --> 0:05:42.539 the marriage ceremony supposed to go? Give me the details. Funny, 0:05:42.540 --> 0:05:46.779 the guy's never asked that. What am I supposed to stand? 0:05:46.779 --> 0:05:50.659 Give me the ring. Where's the honeymoon? Uh, the women 0:05:50.660 --> 0:05:54.820 want to know the details. Like, where do the bridesmaids stand? And. 0:05:54.860 --> 0:05:57.380 And is the lighting of the candle before or after 0:05:57.380 --> 0:06:00.299 the vows? And, uh, how do we do the giving 0:06:00.300 --> 0:06:03.190 away of the bride and and and when should we 0:06:03.190 --> 0:06:06.229 do the music and how should we do the recessional 0:06:06.230 --> 0:06:11.469 and processional? And I always tell them this. Listen there. 0:06:11.990 --> 0:06:14.510 There's really no right way or wrong way to do 0:06:14.510 --> 0:06:19.070 a wedding ceremony. Now there's a traditional way of doing it, 0:06:19.070 --> 0:06:22.430 and you can look for the traditional way. I'm not 0:06:22.430 --> 0:06:25.150 the expert on where people stand. Don't ask me about 0:06:25.150 --> 0:06:31.270 the details of that. All I know is that my part, 0:06:32.110 --> 0:06:35.550 the core of the wedding, is that you are going 0:06:35.589 --> 0:06:38.789 to stand face to face with one another, and you 0:06:38.790 --> 0:06:43.070 are going to promise on no more than that. You 0:06:43.070 --> 0:06:47.830 are going to covenant with each other some promises that 0:06:47.830 --> 0:06:53.070 you will be held to until death do you part. 0:06:53.510 --> 0:06:55.229 And I'm going to make sure that you're going to 0:06:55.270 --> 0:06:58.830 say those vows to one another in the presence of God, 0:06:58.830 --> 0:07:01.190 in the presence of these witnesses. If you want to 0:07:01.190 --> 0:07:03.990 do cartwheels down the aisle as you come in. If 0:07:03.990 --> 0:07:06.830 you want to go barefoot and do ballet, dance, if 0:07:06.830 --> 0:07:09.349 you want to do rock music on the way out, 0:07:09.350 --> 0:07:12.430 I really don't care what you do in all the 0:07:12.430 --> 0:07:15.790 fluffy stuff. If you want dandelions, if you want roses, 0:07:15.790 --> 0:07:18.750 it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is 0:07:18.750 --> 0:07:22.750 at the core of that ceremony, you are pledging your 0:07:22.750 --> 0:07:28.030 faithfulness to one another until death do you part, because 0:07:28.030 --> 0:07:33.070 there is a covenant that's established. And I know that 0:07:33.070 --> 0:07:36.790 when a couple walks out of that building, out of 0:07:36.830 --> 0:07:41.070 that church, out of that ceremony, that they will have 0:07:41.070 --> 0:07:44.550 walked out different than they walked in, because now they 0:07:44.550 --> 0:07:50.430 will be in covenant relationship with one another. And so 0:07:50.430 --> 0:07:53.950 whether you've been married two months or whether you've been 0:07:53.950 --> 0:07:59.910 married 25 years, the heart of the marriage ceremony is 0:07:59.910 --> 0:08:04.040 that you are pledging, and it happens in every wedding 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:09.040 ceremony where you say, I will be faithful to you 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:13.720 and to you alone until death do you part. That's 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:18.320 a covenant. God is always been the God of covenant. 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:23.440 It's not just in marriage. God was the God of 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:28.240 covenant with Abraham. Uh, God chose a man by the 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.240 name of Abraham and said, I'm going to make a 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:35.000 covenant with you. And we call it the Abrahamic Covenant. 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.520 God made a covenant with David, King David, we call 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:41.600 it the Davidic Covenant. A covenant means I promise to 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:45.520 fulfill the things that I have told you I will fulfill. 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:49.840 And you, in turn, are to fulfill your promises to me. 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.480 God told Abraham, I will make you a mighty nation, 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.400 and I will bless all the nations of the earth 0:08:56.400 --> 0:09:00.320 through you. And that's when Abraham had no children and 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:04.559 Abraham married and had a child who had other children. 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.640 Eventually they grew into the nation of Israel, and God 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:11.520 kept his promise with the entire nation of Israel. At 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:15.040 that they would be his people, and he would bless them. 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:18.200 And he made a and and David was part of that. 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:23.240 And David's lineage gave birth to Jesus the Messiah. And 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:27.679 Jesus the Messiah eventually has blessed the entire earth, and 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:31.319 that is God keeping his promise to Abraham, because God 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:36.280 keeps his promises and because God keeps his promise and 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:39.280 is a God of covenant, then he asks us to 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.079 keep our covenants as well. 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.280 You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark job, and we'll 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.840 return to our message shortly. Mark, do you know what 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.559 I've been reflecting on lately? The incredible privilege we have 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.679 as believers living in this particular moment in history. I 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.570 love to study history, but never before have we had 0:10:02.570 --> 0:10:06.810 such powerful tools for sharing the gospel globally, instantly reaching 0:10:06.809 --> 0:10:09.890 people in remote villages. That happens through bold steps, doesn't it? 0:10:09.890 --> 0:10:13.170 Or in close countries, in crowded cities alike. But we 0:10:13.170 --> 0:10:17.050 have this unprecedented opportunity and it comes with a tremendous responsibility, 0:10:17.090 --> 0:10:17.730 doesn't it? 0:10:17.970 --> 0:10:23.370 You know, I heard recently that moody radio programming is, um, 0:10:23.410 --> 0:10:28.610 heard in 190 countries is what someone said. And, um, 0:10:28.770 --> 0:10:31.770 technology has allowed us to do that. And I'm amazed 0:10:31.770 --> 0:10:36.010 when suddenly we get a email from Eastern Europe of 0:10:36.010 --> 0:10:39.089 someone saying, hey, I haven't found a church yet, but 0:10:39.090 --> 0:10:43.809 I listened to Bold Steps recently. Someone told me that 0:10:44.290 --> 0:10:47.890 a doctor in Mexico had joined their church, and they 0:10:47.890 --> 0:10:52.250 got saved through bold steps. And I'm like, wow, this 0:10:52.250 --> 0:10:56.050 is amazing how seeds are just being shot throughout all 0:10:56.050 --> 0:11:00.050 the world. We know specifically that there are people in 0:11:00.170 --> 0:11:05.130 closed countries right now that listen in secret, because it's 0:11:05.130 --> 0:11:08.809 dangerous for them to be caught listening to Christian radio. 0:11:09.370 --> 0:11:12.569 This is an amazing time to get the gospel out there. 0:11:12.929 --> 0:11:16.929 There are close to 9 billion people in the world, 0:11:17.090 --> 0:11:20.330 and there are millions and millions of people that have 0:11:20.330 --> 0:11:26.010 very little gospel presence in their world. They are saturated 0:11:26.010 --> 0:11:30.010 with false religion, with heresies, with a lot of different 0:11:30.010 --> 0:11:33.929 ideology that does not allow Jesus Christ to come to 0:11:33.970 --> 0:11:39.730 the forefront. And so radio, podcasting, our technology as people 0:11:39.730 --> 0:11:42.170 can live stream, this is one of the ways that 0:11:42.170 --> 0:11:46.530 we get past the guards at the borders and we 0:11:46.570 --> 0:11:49.570 through the airwaves. God has given us a beautiful gift 0:11:49.570 --> 0:11:53.970 to go past the guards, into the houses, into the homes, 0:11:53.970 --> 0:11:57.010 and right to into the bedrooms and kitchens of where 0:11:57.010 --> 0:12:00.090 people live so that they are hearing the good message 0:12:00.179 --> 0:12:05.180 of Jesus like never before. And we are passionate about this. 0:12:05.580 --> 0:12:08.140 We know that there's a lot of other believers that 0:12:08.140 --> 0:12:11.900 are passionate as well. And we're saying, join us, please. 0:12:12.100 --> 0:12:15.460 This is a powerful moment for us to proclaim the 0:12:15.500 --> 0:12:18.819 gospel of Jesus Christ, especially as the world is being 0:12:18.820 --> 0:12:20.540 shaken in so many ways. 0:12:20.580 --> 0:12:22.980 I believe there are some listening right now who are 0:12:22.980 --> 0:12:24.900 not just hearers of the word, but want to be 0:12:24.900 --> 0:12:28.100 active participants in spreading that word. So today could be 0:12:28.100 --> 0:12:30.020 your day to step into that calling by giving to 0:12:30.059 --> 0:12:32.860 bold steps. Just go to Bold Steps org to make 0:12:32.860 --> 0:12:39.900 a gift or call 800 D.L. Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. Remember, 0:12:39.900 --> 0:12:42.060 your gift of any amount helps share God's Word with 0:12:42.059 --> 0:12:45.060 those who need it most. Really, around the world, when 0:12:45.059 --> 0:12:47.179 you give any amount, we'll send you a special gift 0:12:47.179 --> 0:12:49.179 as our thanks and we'll take time to tell you 0:12:49.179 --> 0:12:51.060 about that just a little bit later here in the 0:12:51.059 --> 0:12:53.420 program today. But let's get back to the message now. 0:12:53.460 --> 0:12:54.620 Here again is Mark. 0:12:59.940 --> 0:13:10.300 Now. When we violate that covenant, it's called adultery. Adultery is. 0:13:10.300 --> 0:13:13.900 I've made a commitment to be loyal and faithful to you. 0:13:14.580 --> 0:13:17.340 But I choose to meet my needs, my most intimate 0:13:17.380 --> 0:13:23.620 needs outside of our relationship, because whatever reasons have drawn 0:13:23.620 --> 0:13:29.020 me outside of that relationship. So physical adultery is when 0:13:29.020 --> 0:13:33.820 a married person has sexual relationships with anybody other than 0:13:33.820 --> 0:13:41.660 their spouse outside of their marriage. That's called adultery. Mental 0:13:41.660 --> 0:13:46.020 or emotional adultery. So we all understand that, right? Are 0:13:46.020 --> 0:13:50.059 we clear on that? No further explanation. That's physical adultery. 0:13:50.540 --> 0:13:55.300 Then there's what Jesus taught about where Jesus took it 0:13:55.300 --> 0:14:00.590 to another level. And you'll find that in Matthew chapter five, 0:14:01.070 --> 0:14:06.630 verse 27 through 28. Jesus talks about emotional or mental adultery, 0:14:07.429 --> 0:14:10.270 and Jesus speaks to his followers and he says, you 0:14:10.270 --> 0:14:13.949 have heard it, said, you shall not commit adultery. And 0:14:14.429 --> 0:14:22.350 he's quoting the seventh commandment. And Jesus says in verse 28, 0:14:22.350 --> 0:14:26.630 but I say to you that everyone who looks at 0:14:26.630 --> 0:14:31.590 a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery 0:14:31.590 --> 0:14:39.470 with her in his own heart. Whoa, Jesus! Now you've 0:14:39.470 --> 0:14:43.030 just taken this to a whole new level. I mean, 0:14:43.030 --> 0:14:48.510 we understand having sexual encounter with a with a woman 0:14:48.510 --> 0:14:52.110 outside of marriage. But Jesus said what Jesus was telling 0:14:52.110 --> 0:14:55.150 them is, I want you to understand that not only 0:14:55.150 --> 0:14:59.470 is there physical adultery, but before there's physical adultery, there's 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:04.400 always emotional or mental violation or adultery as well. He 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.600 talked about murder and and he said, thou shalt not murder. 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:10.800 But I say he who has hatred in his heart 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.800 towards someone has committed murder in his heart. What Jesus 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.840 was saying is that you can be an adulterer before 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:22.280 you actually commit the act of adultery. If in your 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:27.160 heart you're already committing adultery because it doesn't just happen, 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:33.280 it leads up to it. And Jesus is not only 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:36.800 looking at the outside. The law looked at the outside. 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:41.960 Jesus looked at the heart. Now, it's not saying that 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.920 to look at a woman and lust after her is 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:54.360 the same consequence and severity as the actual act of adultery, 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:57.800 physical act of adultery. But what Jesus was saying is 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:02.480 that you cross lines within your heart. Some people have 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.840 argued in the past, well, you know, I can look, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:08.840 I can Google as long as I don't touch. I've 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:10.760 heard people say that. Well, you know, I could look, 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.560 I could, you know, as long as as long as 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.040 I don't act, I'm okay. And what Jesus is saying. 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:19.600 Hold on. No, no. Wrong. You can't if you're looking, 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:23.560 if you're fantasizing, if you're if you're if you've gone 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:27.520 there in your mind and your heart, you've already crossed 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:31.040 the lines of an adulterous heart there because you're allowing 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:34.640 yourself to go there. Just like when you have hatred 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:38.120 against someone and you may not physically kill them. But 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.720 if you hate them in your heart, then you're imagining 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:46.600 violence against them. You've already engaged in a murderous, murderous 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.280 act in your own heart. And what Jesus was simply 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:54.080 saying is that there's not only the physical act of adultery, 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:57.200 but there's the adulterous heart as well that we have 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:00.920 to guard against and repent of, just like we have 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:05.120 to repent of the physical act of adultery. And by 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.640 the way, can I just say this? Listen, no one 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:16.159 just falls in adultery physically. I've had the unfortunate experience 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:20.240 of having to sit down with couples while a husband 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:23.600 confesses to his wife his adultery, or when a wife 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:28.040 confesses to her husband, her adultery, and the pain and 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:32.400 the shock and the betrayal and the repercussions of that. 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:41.359 It's always this nasty, heavy, uh, oppressive, difficult. The emotions, 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:47.200 the spectrum, the recovery of the marriage. It's always, always extremely, 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:52.920 extremely painful. But I want to say that it doesn't always. 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:56.280 It doesn't just happen. A married man just doesn't go 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:58.760 out and. Oh, you know, I don't know how it happened. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:03.209 It just never thought about it. Never crossed my mind. And. Oh, honey. 0:18:03.210 --> 0:18:07.050 Forgive me. It just happened. Oh, it doesn't just happen. 0:18:07.770 --> 0:18:13.290 There's seeds. There's opening the doors. There's lust, there's fantasizing. 0:18:13.290 --> 0:18:18.690 There's flirtation that are not bridled. There's conversations that pass 0:18:18.810 --> 0:18:24.330 appropriate boundaries that are not held. There's lunches with, uh, 0:18:24.770 --> 0:18:28.290 a married woman at work. Uh, there's, uh, sharing of 0:18:28.290 --> 0:18:34.930 emotional heart issues. There's secretive friendships and texting and Facebooking 0:18:34.930 --> 0:18:38.889 and stuff that shouldn't happen that you're you're you're secretively 0:18:38.930 --> 0:18:42.450 keeping from your spouse. And there's a build up that's 0:18:42.450 --> 0:18:46.770 happening there before the actual affair happens. And what Jesus 0:18:46.770 --> 0:18:50.330 was saying is that it happens in our heart first 0:18:52.290 --> 0:18:54.850 before we act on it. And so Jesus talks about 0:18:54.850 --> 0:18:57.649 the physical act of adultery, and then he talks about 0:18:57.650 --> 0:19:03.780 the mental or emotional act of adultery as well. And 0:19:03.780 --> 0:19:06.900 by the way, I want to say that that we 0:19:06.900 --> 0:19:12.780 can be preventative and proactive at guarding our marriage. And 0:19:12.780 --> 0:19:15.940 part of that means, just like a dating couple, unless 0:19:15.940 --> 0:19:23.460 you're intentional and strong about setting boundaries and commitments in 0:19:23.460 --> 0:19:27.300 advance about the purity of your dating relationship, then chances 0:19:27.300 --> 0:19:30.939 are you will fall. Unless you are super intentional about 0:19:30.940 --> 0:19:33.980 the purity of your relationship. And I believe that the 0:19:33.980 --> 0:19:37.940 same is true for marriage. That unless you determine in 0:19:37.940 --> 0:19:41.980 advance that you will guard your marriage and set boundaries 0:19:42.180 --> 0:19:45.500 and have honesty in your marriage and openness and not 0:19:45.500 --> 0:19:48.300 keep secrets from each other, then I think you're setting 0:19:48.300 --> 0:19:51.740 yourself up for a fall, unless you determine in advance 0:19:51.740 --> 0:19:54.100 that's the kind of relationship and marriage that we're going 0:19:54.140 --> 0:19:58.620 to have. And I believe that that's possible. I believe 0:19:58.619 --> 0:20:02.859 that every couple, every married couple needs to engage it 0:20:02.859 --> 0:20:07.740 with that mentality. And then thirdly, I'm going to tie 0:20:07.740 --> 0:20:10.540 this all together in a moment. But thirdly, not only 0:20:10.540 --> 0:20:13.660 is there the physical act of adultery, the mental act 0:20:13.660 --> 0:20:21.540 of adultery, but then there's spiritual adultery. In James chapter four, 0:20:21.580 --> 0:20:26.740 verse four, the apostle James addresses people and he says, 0:20:26.980 --> 0:20:32.899 you adulterous people, he's talking to the church. Don't you 0:20:32.900 --> 0:20:36.419 know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? 0:20:37.340 --> 0:20:39.540 Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world 0:20:39.540 --> 0:20:42.380 becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think that 0:20:42.380 --> 0:20:47.020 Scripture says without reason that His spirit has caused to 0:20:47.020 --> 0:20:51.500 live envies intensely? James is saying, do you know that 0:20:51.500 --> 0:20:56.020 you can commit spiritual adultery against God when you come 0:20:56.020 --> 0:21:00.139 to God and give your life over to God. You, 0:21:00.140 --> 0:21:02.980 in essence, are telling God, God, I'm in a covenant 0:21:02.980 --> 0:21:08.060 relationship with you. My life no longer belongs to me. 0:21:08.260 --> 0:21:11.380 You are the Lord of my life. Your Holy Spirit 0:21:11.380 --> 0:21:16.260 dwells inside of me. I belong to you, God. You 0:21:16.260 --> 0:21:20.659 belong to me. And we are in relationship with one another. 0:21:29.420 --> 0:21:32.180 This is bold steps. You're listening to the Bible teaching 0:21:32.220 --> 0:21:35.260 of Mark Jobe and a lesson on God's commandment. You 0:21:35.260 --> 0:21:38.260 shall not commit adultery. We'll pick up with part two 0:21:38.260 --> 0:21:40.860 of this message tomorrow, but feel free to visit today's 0:21:40.859 --> 0:21:45.380 lesson anytime online at Bold Steps. When you get there, 0:21:45.380 --> 0:21:47.580 you'll also have the chance to request your copy of 0:21:47.580 --> 0:21:49.980 this month's Bold Step gift Mark. 0:21:50.340 --> 0:21:53.020 One of the most important things we can do for 0:21:53.020 --> 0:21:57.060 young girls is help them build their lives on truth. 0:21:57.100 --> 0:21:58.139 That's true. Yes. 0:21:58.540 --> 0:22:02.110 You know, I remember raising my one and only daughter, 0:22:02.109 --> 0:22:06.990 and when she got into almost in the tween years, 0:22:07.030 --> 0:22:11.990 I was just so concerned because the pressures are amazing, insurmountable. 0:22:11.990 --> 0:22:15.670 It felt like and felt very protective. So I'm excited 0:22:15.670 --> 0:22:20.750 that our Bold step gift this month tackles this vital topic. 0:22:20.750 --> 0:22:24.949 It's written by Dannah Gresh. It's called Lies Girls Believe, 0:22:24.950 --> 0:22:27.670 and it follows up some earlier writing you've done. Dana 0:22:27.670 --> 0:22:30.710 for women. But you've lowered the age group here, haven't you? 0:22:30.750 --> 0:22:33.830 Yeah, because the enemy has lowered the the the the 0:22:33.950 --> 0:22:37.280 target zone. Some of the things that today's 8 to 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:39.710 12 year old girls are grappling with, there are things 0:22:39.710 --> 0:22:42.190 that we didn't grapple with until we were in our 0:22:42.230 --> 0:22:45.470 well into our teens, 16, 17, 18 years old. And 0:22:45.470 --> 0:22:47.750 one of the things that's really concerning to me is 0:22:47.750 --> 0:22:51.990 how tweens, 8 to 12 year olds, that's the technical 0:22:52.030 --> 0:22:55.390 age group for tweens. They're like the guinea pigs in 0:22:55.390 --> 0:22:59.830 this gender experiment. They're really believing there's no difference between 0:22:59.830 --> 0:23:04.389 boys and girls. They believe that I surveyed 1500 church 0:23:04.430 --> 0:23:07.390 going tween girls to write this book, and I did 0:23:07.390 --> 0:23:10.429 11 focus groups across the country to talk to their moms. 0:23:10.790 --> 0:23:14.790 And they believe there's not a big difference between girls 0:23:14.790 --> 0:23:18.150 and boys. And that is just one stepping stone away 0:23:18.150 --> 0:23:20.590 from this can be a fluid thing in my life. 0:23:21.030 --> 0:23:24.990 They also, if they do believe there's differences, they have 0:23:24.990 --> 0:23:27.510 a hard time believing that it's great to be a girl. 0:23:27.869 --> 0:23:30.149 You know, they're like, well, you know, it's hard to 0:23:30.150 --> 0:23:32.630 be a girl because of the way our bodies work, 0:23:32.630 --> 0:23:34.350 or it's hard to be a girl because we don't 0:23:34.350 --> 0:23:36.790 have the same opportunities as boys, or it's hard to 0:23:36.790 --> 0:23:39.350 be a girl because I'm athletic and I can't shoot 0:23:39.390 --> 0:23:42.310 hoops with the guys, and that doesn't seem fair. So 0:23:42.350 --> 0:23:44.669 these are really important lies. When you look at the 0:23:44.670 --> 0:23:48.590 fact that going back to Genesis, God says in the 0:23:48.590 --> 0:23:53.230 image of God, he created us male and female. He 0:23:53.230 --> 0:23:55.350 created them. There are so many things about us that 0:23:55.350 --> 0:23:57.429 are God like. Why doesn't he mention our ability to 0:23:57.470 --> 0:24:00.160 compose sonnets or the fact that we're going to defy 0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:02.480 gravity and fly to the moon and then land rockets 0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:04.720 again on on planet Earth one day. Why doesn't he 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:08.960 mention that now? He mentions maleness and femaleness. It matters. 0:24:08.960 --> 0:24:10.840 It's a conversation we've got to have, and we've got 0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:12.840 to have it accurately with our kids. And this book 0:24:12.840 --> 0:24:15.119 is just one tool to help you do that. 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:18.840 Boy, we could talk hours about this. And if you 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:24.160 have a daughter, a granddaughter, your son or daughter is 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:27.880 raising a a girl. In today's society, we would love 0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:29.320 to put this book in your hands. 0:24:29.359 --> 0:24:31.960 Yeah. What a great gift to pass on. Dana. Thank you. 0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:34.520 My pleasure. Thank you for letting me be a part 0:24:34.520 --> 0:24:35.240 of your month. 0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:38.520 So to request your copy of Lies Girls Believe, just 0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:40.119 let us know where to send it and make a 0:24:40.160 --> 0:24:43.159 donation of any amount to bold steps you can easily 0:24:43.160 --> 0:24:47.280 give online at Bold Steps, or give us a call 0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:50.280 and make your donation over the phone by dialing 800 0:24:50.320 --> 0:24:57.080 DL Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. You can also send your gift 0:24:57.080 --> 0:25:00.040 and request the book through the mail. Our address is bold. 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:06.520 Steps 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 606 ten. And 0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:08.760 then please remember, it's not the size of your gift 0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:11.040 that matters, but that you give what God has put 0:25:11.040 --> 0:25:13.760 on your heart. And on behalf of the listeners across 0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:17.080 the country who hear this daily program, because of your generosity, 0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:20.199 we say thank you. Now, before we wrap up, I 0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:22.840 want to encourage you to download our Bold Steps app 0:25:22.840 --> 0:25:26.160 now in your app store. Explore our collection of engaging 0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:29.359 videos and enlightening teaching series. Just search for the Bold 0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:33.280 Steps app and download this free app today. Well, that's 0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:35.400 all the time we have. Join us tomorrow when Mark 0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:38.040 continues with part two of this message. It's part of 0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:40.600 our series on rock solid Living, and it's coming up 0:25:40.600 --> 0:25:45.960 Thursday here on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps 0:25:45.960 --> 0:25:48.919 is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody 0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:50.080 Bible Institute.