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S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond its cast

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S1: and crew. Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome

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S1: what seems impossible and live. As you never imagined. Start

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S1: your morning with a laugh.

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S2: Practical from the Bible. Tips and tricks to kill. Not tricks,

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S2: but tips and tricks.

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S3: Tips and tricks to kill. Tips and tricks.

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S1: Delivering the truth daily.

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S4: All of my attempts to, you know, prop myself up

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S4: with achievement and good works. Well, God wasn't impressed by that.

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S4: Even if other people were.

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S2: The gospel changes everything.

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S5: Freedom in Christ. Man, it's like that backpack of cement

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S5: just falling to the ground.

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S1: Now, from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl

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S1: and crew.

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S6: Everything in the world is right again. And I didn't

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S6: mention it in the 5:00, central hour, but we are

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S6: mentioning it now. She's back in the saddle again.

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S7: I'm back in the saddle again. Out where? A friend

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S7: is a friend? Yeah. Where the longhorn cattle feed on

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S7: the lowly jimson weed.

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S6: Super die.

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S7: Back in. Yes, she is again.

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S6: She's back. She's packing again. She's packing heat.

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S4: My favorite.

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S3: Part.

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S7: Yep. My old 44. Well, you sleep out every night.

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S6: By the way, a 44 is not a little clinker. Okay,

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S6: just for the record, if you get a 44, you

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S6: almost need a two fisted. If you get some good

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S6: grain load in that bullet.

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S2: I don't know what what grain load means.

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S6: We won't get into it.

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S2: I don't know anything for gun.

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S6: It's for shooting enthusiasts out there in the boom crew

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S6: this morning. Okay. Uh, boy. She's back. We missed you. Super.

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S6: It's good to have you. Let's sing it together, guys.

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S6: Back in the saddle again.

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S4: I'm out on this one, but go for it. Thanks.

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S4: I can't get down.

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S6: Ali reserves her singing for higher octave.

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S4: Music, a tenor. I'm not a baritone. And so I

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S4: think you guys got that one.

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S6: Yeah. It's good to have you back, kiddo. Yeah. Thank you.

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S6: The world's right again. The world is right again. It

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S6: was all messed up. But now we're back on our

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S6: axis and we're spinning.

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S2: And I'm pretty sure it's why it was so cold.

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S2: Is because Diana wasn't here.

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S6: Like the cat ear.

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S5: Well, in spring training. No.

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S6: I wish spring training starts in two weeks. Is that crazy?

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S6: For sports teams.

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S5: A couple of weeks. I might have a cough.

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S6: She might have a cough. Oh my goodness. So the

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S6: question we're dealing with is, are you ashamed of the gospel?

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S6: And in the first hour we let you off the hook.

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S6: Fear is not being ashamed. Wisdom is not being ashamed.

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S6: Being unequipped or haven't grown in confidence of sharing your

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S6: faith is not being ashamed. Isn't that freeing?

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S4: Definitely, definitely. Because it can feel like if I shrink

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S4: back in this moment, then, boy, there's something really wrong

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S4: with me.

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S6: Yeah, yeah. And and that. We need to be careful

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S6: with that. We need to be careful with that a

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S6: lot of people get guilted by. A lot of people

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S6: get guilted by other Christ followers about this. I'm just

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S6: going to say it. And we need to not do

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S6: that to each other because fear is a natural emotion.

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S6: Does God want us to get victory over that? Yeah,

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S6: but did Jesus himself have emotions, including a little bit

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S6: of trembling about taking the sins of the world to

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S6: the cross? Yes, yes we gotta. Sometimes we ascribe values

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S6: to emotions that are not true, and ascribing sin to

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S6: fear is akin to ascribing sin to joy.

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S4: Well, we're commanded throughout Scripture to not fear. That's. Yes.

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S4: So but you're saying that doesn't necessarily mean that it's

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S4: a sin?

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S6: Yeah. I mean, it's an emotion that we're constantly hurdling

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S6: and God's giving us victory over it. It's this. I

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S6: said it in the first hour. I'm going to say

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S6: it again. This notion that Christians should be fearless is bogus.

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S6: How does God accommodate us to have us fear less? Yes,

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S6: but that's a sanctification process. And that's where we grow

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S6: and go with God. And by the way, it's an

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S6: internal thing. First, let me nail this. What shame actually is,

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S6: I promise that we're going to do it. It's because

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S6: Jesus does speak of those who are ashamed. And that's

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S6: real too. So that's flip side of this coin. Matthew

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S6: 1032 33. So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I

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S6: will acknowledge before my father who is in heaven. But

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S6: whoever denies being before men, I will also deny before

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S6: my father who is in heaven. So there is that.

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S6: And then you go to Luke 926 for whoever is

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S6: ashamed of me, and my words of him, will the

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S6: Son of Man be ashamed of, when he comes in

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S6: his glory, and the glory of the father, and of

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S6: the holy angels? So there's two things going on here.

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S6: There are people that buy because of wisdom. They're not

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S6: sharing with a certain person at some time. Right? Don't

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S6: give to dogs what is holy. Don't cast pearls before pigs.

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S6: Sometimes fear can hold us back. Sometimes a lack of equipping,

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S6: understanding or maturity level in Christ. We haven't grown to

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S6: the point where we're ready to even know what to do,

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S6: and we're going to set you free on that today

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S6: as well. But look, actual biblical shame is not failure

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S6: to deliver its refusal to stand up for Christ. When

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S6: push comes to shove, those are two different things. It's

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S6: not weakness. It's not a moment of weakness or weak

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S6: in the knees. It's disowning. I mean, the stakes are

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S6: raised big time, and it's not silence for silence sake.

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S6: It's silence for self-preservation sake. Boy, those are big time different,

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S6: aren't they, guys?

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S4: They are. And I think it's important to draw this

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S4: distinction because, you know, some, as you mentioned, some context,

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S4: we can feel a lot of pressure around sharing the gospel.

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S4: It's clear that we are mandated in Scripture to pass

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S4: on our faith to share with others around us. But,

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S4: you know, I remember being in in a youth group

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S4: setting where there was a lot of, there was a

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S4: lot of pressure put on. And bring bring other people in.

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S4: Tell other people about Jesus. And, and you can start

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S4: to feel like if I'm not like meeting a certain number,

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S4: like if I'm not like, oh, I missed an opportunity

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S4: and it can feel pressure.

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S6: Yeah. And then how does that feel to the people

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S6: who you're sharing with all of a sudden now they're

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S6: they're a target rather than a person.

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S4: Right.

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S6: And that's a real problem. So here's my contention. It's

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S6: more than just a contention. I've got an outline sitting

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S6: in front of me. The boldness grows from the inside out.

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S6: And this is not about getting new tips and tricks

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S6: for how to share.

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S3: Hey.

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S6: Sorry.

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S2: What are you trying.

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S5: To throw that in there?

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S3: Opener every now, every now and then.

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S6: This is not about getting new tips and tricks and

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S6: tools for how to share our faith. Your tools? Good.

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S6: But this is not about the external stuff. It's not

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S6: about the mechanics. It's really from the inside out. And

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S6: we're going to be talking about that today. I'm not

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S6: going to give that all to you right now. But

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S6: there is a there's a way to pressure test this boldness.

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S6: And can I say this, let me let me lay

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S6: this out. We're going to hear stories from a guest

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S6: here in a little bit about people who are bold

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S6: with their faith. They are unashamed of the gospel. And

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S6: you might hear these stories, and I'm going to give

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S6: you another word of freedom here, because I'm a type

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S6: A personality. I guess I didn't have to say that,

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S6: but I can get weak in the knees. And sometimes

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S6: when I hear stories about our brothers and sisters around

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S6: the globe, I'm like, could I do that? And that's

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S6: a good, honest question to ask yourself. Could I do that?

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S6: Now let me tell you what the answer is. God

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S6: will give you the grace if you love God and

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S6: he's transformed your soul, I am convinced that grace for

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S6: a moment is deposited in that moment. So don't try

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S6: to forecast. Boy, would I take it. Would I take

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S6: a bullet for Jesus? Because speculating around that where you

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S6: are today, it's it's why, you know, we got why

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S6: worry about that? And we have trouble right now.

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S4: Easily fall into pride if our answer is, well, yeah,

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S4: I could do that. Absolutely. I could I could have

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S4: that kind of boldness for Jesus. I think there should

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S4: be a holy sense of know in my power. I'm not.

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S4: I don't have it.

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S6: No, that's exactly right. And yeah, we're going to get

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S6: after that today, guys. It's going to be a sweet time.

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S1: She was trying to earn her way to God, but

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S1: God showed her she didn't have to. Allie is in

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S1: the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.

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S6: We're talking about this today. Am I ashamed of the

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S6: gospel of Jesus Christ? And a lot of us can

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S6: get tipped over into. Boy, my moments of fear. Is

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S6: that being ashamed? No it's not. It's an emotion. The

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S6: disciples had it. Jesus himself. All theologians agree that when

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S6: he said, in that moment, can you take this cup

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S6: from me? There was a certain trembling inside our Savior.

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S6: It's an emotion, guys. Just like joy. Just like sadness.

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S6: These are emotions that God, by his grace, wants to

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S6: grow us through. But it's got to be an inside

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S6: out thing. It's not about new witnessing techniques. This is

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S6: about a soul that is just burgeoning with the gospel

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S6: of Jesus Christ. And the overflow is transformative. No better

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S6: way to see it than in the lives of people

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S6: that are in harm's way. David Nelms That's true, isn't it, man?

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S6: You see boldness for Jesus on your from your vantage point,

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S6: don't you, my friend?

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S8: Yes, I do, Carl, and it's convicting and it's humbling

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S8: and it's inspiring.

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S4: Doctor David Nelms, our guest right now, he's founder of

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S4: the Timothy Initiative, exists to advance Christ's kingdom by multiplying

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S4: disciples and disciple making churches around the world. You know,

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S4: when we think what? What about what it looks like

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S4: to be bold? I think our mind does go to

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S4: to places in the world where a level of boldness

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S4: is required that maybe we don't aren't familiar with. Talk

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S4: a little bit about the context that your ministry is

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S4: operating in in, in.

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S8: Yeah. Well, we we work primarily, not exclusively, but primarily

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S8: among unreached people groups, which tends to be your Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist,

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S8: animist parts of the world. And in many places, there

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S8: just are no Christ followers. There may be several million villages, settlements. Uh,

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S8: the guesstimate is several million of them out there where

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S8: not only is there no church, there's no believer. There's

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S8: never been a believer. And so when you become a

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S8: follower of Jesus Christ, oh my goodness, it can cost

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S8: you everything. It just literally everything, including sometimes your life.

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S8: And so there's there's a cost. Uh, you have to

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S8: consider the cost. Count the cost because you will be

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S8: called on to pay that price. And, I mean, I

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S8: could tell you many, many, many stories of what's happening

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S8: right now around the world.

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S6: Give us one that's on your heart. That just hits

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S6: you right now. I know you've got a gazillion of

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S6: these things, but what's one that you can share with us?

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S8: Well, one from just a few months ago. Uh, a

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S8: young man, we call them Timothy's. We trained to plant churches.

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S8: He planted a church in a predominantly Muslim area, and

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S8: he happened to own a house in another village where

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S8: there was no church. And so he decided he would

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S8: go there and start a second church in his house. Well,

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S8: just so happened his house was on the same block

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S8: of a of a local mosque, and some of the

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S8: townspeople were not real thrilled. With what? With his plans.

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S8: And they hired a man to kill him. He stepped

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S8: outside of his house one morning, and the guy was

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S8: standing there with a gun and shot him six times.

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S8: He fell dead in front of his house on the ground.

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S8: The the killer actually laid the weapon on his chest

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S8: and walked away. I think just kind of as a

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S8: warning to others. And what's really I mean, that's very sad,

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S8: but he had a little wife. They were both in

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S8: their 20s. I think she was about 25 or so.

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S8: She was six months pregnant at the time. And just, uh,

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S8: I guess about 4 or 5 months ago, the little

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S8: baby was born. And so that little gal is a

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S8: widow now, and the baby will never know, uh, her dad.

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S8: And he was a good man. He was a good

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S8: young man, just leading young men to the Lord, right

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S8: and left. Well, as I'm talking to you right now,

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S8: we have I don't know how many people in jail.

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S8: Every day someone's house is burnt down, a church is

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S8: burnt down, people are beat up, kidnapped. Uh, Nigeria has

250
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S8: been in the news a lot lately because the persecution there,

251
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S8: more Christians have been killed in Nigeria over the last

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S8: couple of years than all the rest of the world combined.

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S8: And in Nigeria, it's not a matter of just having

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S8: a house burnt down or a church burnt down. In

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S8: some cases the entire village is destroyed and people are

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S8: either killed or taken or flee for their lives or

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S8: they're taken as slaves. And Christians seem to be the bullseye.

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S8: They're not the only ones suffering. There are others are too.

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S8: I want to be very clear on that, but they

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S8: seem to be the the primary target. So it's it's, uh.

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S8: It's awful.

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S3: Yeah.

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S4: Doctor David Nelms with us this morning. Founder of the

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S4: Timothy Initiative. Coming up, let's talk about. And what does

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S4: biblical courage and boldness, being unashamed of the gospel look like.

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S4: That's coming up here on Carl and crew.

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S1: Breaking chains and running free. You're listening to Carl and crew.

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S4: Where do you get the kind of courage and boldness

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S4: it takes to share the gospel when literally your life

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S4: is on the line? Doctor David Nelms, founder of the

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S4: Timothy Initiative, with us right now, you just shared a

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S4: harrowing story of a young man who lost his life,

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S4: had already was already pastoring leading small church and tried

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S4: to plant another one and was killed in the process.

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S4: Where does that boldness come from that drives someone to

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S4: continue to minister, to serve, knowing the cost.

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S8: You know, I've asked myself that many times. It's not

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S8: that they don't feel as Carl was saying, that emotion

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S8: of fear. I don't think anyone wakes up in the

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S8: morning thinking or hoping that they will get to supper.

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S8: And in fact, Jesus said, when persecution comes to one city,

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S8: flee to the next. And I think that would certainly

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S8: be their choice if if possible. But I think it's

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S8: just what's embedded deep in their hearts. I keep thinking

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S8: of that verse. And now abides. Faith, hope, love these three.

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S8: The greatest of these is love. Paul wrote to the

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S8: Corinthian church, and they seem to have a whole lot

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S8: of all three of those qualities faith, hope, and love.

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S8: That faith. They really believe the scriptures. I mean, it's

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S8: like they believe this stuff is really real. Sometimes I'm

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S8: an old guy. I've been preaching for goodnight five decades,

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S8: and sometimes not only do I wonder if the people

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S8: I'm preaching to really believe what they're hearing, sometimes I

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S8: wonder if I really believe it. Yeah. Um, I read

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S8: somewhere this past week where, uh, you know, the big

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S8: storm hit a lot of us. And I read someplace

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S8: where somebody said, uh, people are more moved to action

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S8: over the news of a winter storm coming than they

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S8: are when their pastor says Jesus is coming. And, you know,

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S8: I think there's some truth, some truth to that. They

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00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:09,649
S8: really believe that the Bible is God's Word. They really

302
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S8: believe their sins have been forgiven. They really believe Jesus

303
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S8: is the Son of Almighty God. And they really believe

304
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S8: that there's a heaven and a hell, and that we

305
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:26,250
S8: will all stand before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ.

306
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S8: They really believe all this stuff. It's not a doctrine.

307
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S8: It's like a it's the DNA deep in their hearts.

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S6: Yeah. My contention here, it's funny that we've got you

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S6: in here and God's providential timing. I was sharing on, uh,

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S6: both of our campuses the last couple of weeks about

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S6: I am not ashamed of the gospel. And after studying

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S6: this thoroughly, I came to the conclusion that we need

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S6: to we need to focus on the inside out gospel.

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S6: In the first point I had was gospel. Clarity grows,

315
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S6: boldness for Christ and gospel clarity is what you just said, David.

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S6: It's understanding. Hold it. We've got a a slew of

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S6: billions of people walking on this destination, this broad path

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S6: that leads to destruction. And by God's grace and his mercy,

319
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S6: God sent His Son Jesus to die for us. And

320
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S6: we're on a rescue mission of epic proportions here. And

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S6: what really inspires me is that these men and women

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S6: that you're working with, and this is not a few,

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S6: how many, how many, how many house churches, tree churches,

324
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S6: gathering of people are you seeing planted in this in

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S6: these tough areas around the globe this year. How many?

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S8: Well, uh, this year that we just ended 2025, we

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S8: saw 125 every day, which comes out to a little

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S8: over 45,000, uh, new fellowships. And this year we're training

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S8: maybe 30 or 40,000 more Timothy's than last year. So,

330
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S8: Lord willing, I think that number will just go up.

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S6: My goodness. So we know it's inside out. What do

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S6: you say to someone listening? Because there is fear. But

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S6: fear is not being unashamed. God wants to get us

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S6: over that. Sometimes wisdom is not being unashamed because Jesus

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S6: himself said, there's sometimes when you're called to not give

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S6: what is holy to dogs. Jesus said, and not cast

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S6: pearls before pigs. So there are there are times. There's

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S6: there's times even on in these extreme conditions that you're

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S6: ministering in with these beautiful people. There's times when we

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S6: hold it, hold that gospel and don't share it. There's

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S6: other times when we're bold with it. But this, I

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S6: guess at the end of the day, God's going to

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S6: give grace in that moment, right, David? And we don't

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S6: need to even try to forecast what's going to happen.

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S6: Should push come to shove for us. God's going to

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S6: God's going to meet us in that moment. You must

347
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S6: see that over and over again, David.

348
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S8: You know, again, it goes back to that faith, hope, love.

349
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S8: The greatest of these is love, by the way. They

350
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S8: have a hope. They have that blessed hope. They really

351
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S8: believe Jesus is coming and that there will be justice

352
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S8: and that that he will be pleased. And I think

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S8: that's what motivates them. I think it's that just I

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S8: know it's what motivates me. If I can just see

355
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S8: a smile on his face, that will be that old

356
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S8: gospel song. Oh, that will be glory for me. And

357
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S8: they they seem to really love Jesus Christ. They're like

358
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S8: Mary sitting at his feet. You know, you can you

359
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,429
S8: can run out of gas when you're Martha in the kitchen,

360
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S8: but you don't run out of gas when you're Mary

361
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S8: sitting at his feet, just adoring him, loving him, listening

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S8: to him. And that's that seems to be I'm always

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S8: impressed with their deep love for him. I think they've

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S8: grasped that concept of we love him because he first

365
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S8: loved us. And so why should they not be willing

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S8: to be despised and oppressed for him? Because he was

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S8: despised and oppressed for them?

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S4: Doctor David Nelms, founder of the Timothy Initiative. If you

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S4: want more on this ministry, just text disciple to 800

370
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:29,869
S4: 555 7898. Phenomenal disciple making ministry around the world. Text

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S4: disciple to 800 555 7898.

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S6: Yeah, it's inspiring and I'm going to have the privilege

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S6: with my bride to go visit one of these areas

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S6: where T is doing this work, and then boom crew.

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S6: I just want to announce to you that in not

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S6: too many months, we're going to come to you. And

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S6: we have these opportunities a couple of times a year

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S6: to be global partners with the ministry. I could not

379
00:21:59,030 --> 00:22:04,470
S6: be more excited to be teamed up with the Timothy Initiative.

380
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S6: T I am over the moon and I just this

381
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S6: is just what a wonderful way for us to express

382
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S6: our love for brothers and sisters around the globe, that

383
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S6: we may not have that kind of persecution right now,

384
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S6: but knowing that others do and rallying behind them and say,

385
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S6: we got your back. It's just a beautiful thing, isn't it?

386
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S4: It really is. So if you want to learn more,

387
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:37,870
S4: even now about the Timothy Initiative again, text disciple to 805, 55, 78, 98.

388
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S1: He was running from God, but God's love brought him home.

389
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S1: Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on

390
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S1: Moody Radio.

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S6: We love you, boom crew. We know a lot of

392
00:22:49,030 --> 00:22:53,590
S6: you are just walking this path this morning of discipleship

393
00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:58,470
S6: with Jesus Christ. You know, sometimes there's light bulb moments

394
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S6: that happen, and when they happen in marriage, it can

395
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S6: be a game changer.

396
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S4: Yeah. We're all of a sudden you see something that

397
00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:08,030
S4: you've never seen before. It's not like it's earth shattering.

398
00:23:08,030 --> 00:23:10,830
S4: You wonder, how did I miss this? Then somehow it

399
00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:11,990
S4: changes everything.

400
00:23:12,950 --> 00:23:15,149
S6: We're going to get to a great conversation.

401
00:23:16,150 --> 00:23:20,070
S1: Take your next step with Jesus today. You're listening to

402
00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:22,310
S1: Carl and crew. Well, let's.

403
00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:25,990
S6: Start with something that totally embarrasses Carl here this morning.

404
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,590
S4: Um, okay, that sounds fun.

405
00:23:27,630 --> 00:23:27,870
S3: I know.

406
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S2: You love.

407
00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:32,510
S6: That. Yeah, I know. I've got such great teammates. Well,

408
00:23:32,510 --> 00:23:35,900
S6: it is embarrassing. And it was a light bulb moment

409
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,060
S6: for me. I was raised in a home where my

410
00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:43,540
S6: mom was frankly, too much so buttoned down. Everything. Everything

411
00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:47,460
S6: lined up. Everything clean. Everything in order to the point

412
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:50,060
S6: where for 80 years, I knew where the mustard was

413
00:23:50,060 --> 00:23:52,540
S6: in her refrigerator without being at home. You know, one

414
00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:54,700
S6: of those kind of situations. So when I reached into

415
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S6: my closet, being a week married to my incredible bride,

416
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S6: long suffering woman, and I saw the shirt was in ironed,

417
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:07,460
S6: I just yelled out, oh, you missed one. You feel

418
00:24:07,460 --> 00:24:08,540
S6: this with me right now?

419
00:24:08,859 --> 00:24:09,419
S5: Really?

420
00:24:09,420 --> 00:24:10,899
S4: You missed one, huh?

421
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,739
S6: Oh my goodness, guys, I'm dying right now. No, I

422
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:18,940
S6: was busy, but I wasn't that busy. I was busy,

423
00:24:18,940 --> 00:24:22,939
S6: but boy, did I have a misunderstanding. And we had

424
00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:26,020
S6: a discussion that night because my assumption was shirts go

425
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S6: into the closet after they're ironed. Because that's all I knew. Guys,

426
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,460
S6: it's all I knew. To be fair, that's all I knew.

427
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S6: Did I have a light bulb moment? Yeah, I had

428
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S6: a light bulb moment, I found out. Wow. Different people

429
00:24:37,420 --> 00:24:41,260
S6: were raised in different ways. And rather than getting ticked off,

430
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:43,900
S6: how about if we're willing to learn and change those

431
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,780
S6: light bulb moments can be heartbreaking like that one, because

432
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:49,820
S6: it led to a really tough discussion that night that

433
00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:52,020
S6: I had a lot to learn. But they can be

434
00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:56,100
S6: beautiful as well. Doctor Emerson eggerichs with us right now.

435
00:24:56,300 --> 00:24:58,699
S6: Those are tough. Light bulb moments. That one I had,

436
00:24:58,700 --> 00:24:59,500
S6: aren't they, doc?

437
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:01,660
S9: They really are. And that's why I wrote the book

438
00:25:01,660 --> 00:25:05,300
S9: Light Bulb Moments, because people have written to me and said, hey,

439
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:07,980
S9: as a result of your love and Respect conference with

440
00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:10,100
S9: you and Sarah and we've been married over 50 years,

441
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,899
S9: we had a light bulb moment. We had a moment

442
00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:14,859
S9: where we thought we were miles apart, but we realized

443
00:25:14,859 --> 00:25:17,980
S9: we were just inches apart because we misunderstood each other.

444
00:25:18,020 --> 00:25:21,220
S9: Those testimonies tend to be more positive. Your wife should

445
00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:22,700
S9: have used the iron over your head.

446
00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:23,220
S3: However.

447
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:27,260
S6: You know, without wielding the iron. I felt it, baby.

448
00:25:27,260 --> 00:25:29,219
S6: Let me tell you something. I felt it and it

449
00:25:29,220 --> 00:25:30,700
S6: was a good lesson to be learned.

450
00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:33,969
S4: Doctor Emerson Eggerichs with us right now, internationally known author,

451
00:25:33,970 --> 00:25:37,370
S4: speaker on the topics of marriage, parenting, communication. You've heard

452
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,889
S4: of his Love and Respect Ministries founded with his wife, Sarah.

453
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:43,330
S4: He's got a new book out, Light Bulb Moments in

454
00:25:43,330 --> 00:25:48,330
S4: Marriage 12 Biblical Principles for Successful and Satisfied Couples. It's

455
00:25:48,330 --> 00:25:51,730
S4: interesting you mentioned that these light bulb moments often center

456
00:25:51,730 --> 00:25:55,210
S4: on areas that we feel like we're far apart, but

457
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:57,850
S4: really not. I actually thought it'd be the opposite, that

458
00:25:57,850 --> 00:25:59,330
S4: the light bulb moment says, whoa.

459
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:00,570
S3: Yeah.

460
00:26:00,890 --> 00:26:04,770
S4: I really need a major recorrect here, but not. So

461
00:26:04,810 --> 00:26:06,050
S4: go ahead. Explain.

462
00:26:06,210 --> 00:26:09,890
S9: Well, even in Karl's situation, he wasn't intending to be condescending,

463
00:26:09,930 --> 00:26:14,210
S9: patriarchal or dismissive or critical. I mean, he was just

464
00:26:14,210 --> 00:26:18,010
S9: innocently making a comment, giving her information. And that's where

465
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:20,650
S9: you have to then step back. Does he have basic goodwill,

466
00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:22,730
S9: or did she marry Hitler's distant cousin?

467
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:23,410
S6: Right.

468
00:26:23,450 --> 00:26:26,290
S9: And so he has to then somehow be understood. But

469
00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:29,170
S9: he also needs to understand the sensitivity that a wife

470
00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:33,250
S9: feels about that, how they are, you know, always feeling

471
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:36,770
S9: like they are somehow just to be the servant, to

472
00:26:36,810 --> 00:26:39,250
S9: fulfill all the needs that the man has. And so

473
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:42,450
S9: there's going to be a normal, understandable reaction there as well.

474
00:26:42,450 --> 00:26:44,850
S9: So how do two people in that moment not let

475
00:26:44,850 --> 00:26:47,810
S9: that turn into World War three and they nuke each other?

476
00:26:47,850 --> 00:26:51,250
S6: You know, Emerson, I'm really pumped about this book and

477
00:26:51,250 --> 00:26:55,490
S6: I'll tell you why. Your first section for whole chapters

478
00:26:55,490 --> 00:27:00,650
S6: deal with issues of heart, soul, mind, strength, our relationship

479
00:27:00,650 --> 00:27:04,130
S6: with God and I. That is so vital. I want

480
00:27:04,130 --> 00:27:06,930
S6: you to speak to for a moment to. You must

481
00:27:06,930 --> 00:27:10,450
S6: have a lot of experience with this. Where people are

482
00:27:10,490 --> 00:27:17,330
S6: not connected at a deep spiritual level isn't everything for

483
00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:22,530
S6: the the Christ centered couple? Isn't everything the downstream of

484
00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:24,689
S6: and that. Isn't that why you kicked off this first

485
00:27:24,690 --> 00:27:26,730
S6: section with our core beliefs?

486
00:27:27,490 --> 00:27:29,410
S9: Well, I think to your point, and I asked this

487
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,520
S9: that we have you know, we've averaged almost 1800 per

488
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,680
S9: two day conferences. And I will always in this crowd say,

489
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,400
S9: do you believe that Jesus Christ joined you together and

490
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,679
S9: 1800 hands go up. And then I say, do you

491
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,880
S9: believe that God called you to a purpose greater than

492
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,560
S9: your relationship when you first met and married and all

493
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,960
S9: the hands go up? And then I say, how many

494
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,520
S9: of you still feel that you are joined together, fulfilling

495
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,640
S9: God's purpose? You're spending time in prayer together. You're you're

496
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,080
S9: supporting each other. You're doing ministry together. And, uh, the

497
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,800
S9: hands don't show up as much, right? And I say

498
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,440
S9: we're looking through the rear view mirror at God's call

499
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,960
S9: and joining us together. So how do people get derailed?

500
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,919
S9: And in part, it's why I wrote this book. Because

501
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,520
S9: there is that heart's desire. Almost all of us felt that.

502
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,480
S9: But then we get to this point where we start

503
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,200
S9: getting on the crazy cycle. We're negatively reacting to each other.

504
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,600
S9: We just seem to be miles apart. And how do

505
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,359
S9: we come together again in that area which that first section,

506
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,720
S9: the book, deals with our faith in God. And can

507
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,640
S9: we rediscover? Can we get back on rail? Can we

508
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,440
S9: get forward again? And these light bulb moments are testimonies

509
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,320
S9: after testimony, after testimony of people who got back on track,

510
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,920
S9: having felt they never would.

511
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,760
S4: So give us one of those light bulb moments, maybe

512
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,360
S4: one that might surprise people.

513
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,200
S9: Well, the four that we're talking about is God's value

514
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,040
S9: in the whole idea that our value before the Lord

515
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,640
S9: must be God given, not spouse driven. And I address that.

516
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,880
S9: How do you how do you bring your identity in

517
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,840
S9: Christ to the marriage, not derive your identity from the marriage?

518
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,080
S9: Now I talk about our intent. Is it really true

519
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,600
S9: that we're to do what we do? As to the

520
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,920
S9: Lord that Jesus Christ is standing beyond the shoulder of Sarah?

521
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,480
S9: And so he's calling me to love him. And Sarah

522
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,640
S9: just happens to be in the way. And what in

523
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,280
S9: the world does that mean? And we all know as

524
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,280
S9: Christ followers, we should do what we do. As to

525
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,680
S9: the Lord, he tells us to do that. Paul tells

526
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,680
S9: us to do that. How do you do that? This

527
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,120
S9: was one of the most revolutionary points for many of

528
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,280
S9: the people in our conference, that we give them tools

529
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,560
S9: on how to do this unto Christ, to bring him

530
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,120
S9: pleasure even in the midst of a marital conflict. or hey,

531
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,520
S9: we're going to die. My sister often says life is

532
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,600
S9: hard and then we die. And I said, thanks, sis.

533
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,080
S9: That's a great word of encouragement. But ultimately I'm going

534
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,920
S9: to stand before the Lord and he is going to

535
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,760
S9: say to me, hopefully, and he'll say it to Ali.

536
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,280
S9: He'll say it to Carl. Well done, good and faithful servant.

537
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,320
S9: And one of those areas it's a priority to him

538
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,680
S9: is how we do marriage, and we can actually do

539
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,480
S9: marriage God's way, even if our spouse doesn't respond. And then,

540
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,479
S9: of course, we all have to be aware of the

541
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,000
S9: fact that, am I going to live by the Holy

542
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,920
S9: Word or by Hollywood? And we unpack that and all

543
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,959
S9: the testimonies people give about that moment. They came to

544
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,800
S9: that place where they didn't let go of their idealism

545
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,440
S9: they see captured on the silver screen, but they also

546
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,240
S9: looked at it through a biblical perspective that actually brought

547
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,840
S9: them greater joy and happiness.

548
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,840
S6: Emerson, give us a story from you and your bride

549
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,720
S6: because there is a spiritual war. This is for real,

550
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,840
S6: and Satan hates it when a man and a woman

551
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,870
S6: are locked at the foot of the cross. where did

552
00:30:26,870 --> 00:30:30,030
S6: you and your bride see? Wo. We miss keeping the

553
00:30:30,030 --> 00:30:32,150
S6: main thing. The main thing together here. What was the

554
00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:33,550
S6: light bulb moment for you two?

555
00:30:34,470 --> 00:30:37,550
S9: Well, to that point, first Corinthians seven five says, stop

556
00:30:37,550 --> 00:30:40,870
S9: depriving one another except by agreement, and come together again,

557
00:30:40,870 --> 00:30:44,590
S9: lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control.

558
00:30:45,150 --> 00:30:47,150
S9: And I think that verse in and of itself says,

559
00:30:47,150 --> 00:30:49,670
S9: this isn't just an emotional sexual issue. This is a

560
00:30:49,670 --> 00:30:52,110
S9: spiritual issue. The enemy is out to get us. And

561
00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:54,110
S9: I think Sarah and I had to address where are

562
00:30:54,150 --> 00:30:57,190
S9: our emotional and sexual vulnerabilities, and are we willing to

563
00:30:57,230 --> 00:31:00,190
S9: humbly say and confess, I need you. And we had

564
00:31:00,190 --> 00:31:02,550
S9: to come to a point where we didn't shame the other,

565
00:31:02,550 --> 00:31:04,830
S9: because where she's strong, I tend to be weak. Where

566
00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:07,790
S9: I'm strong, she tends to be weak instead of pointing fingers.

567
00:31:07,790 --> 00:31:10,310
S9: We just rotated because tomorrow I'm going to be weak

568
00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:13,470
S9: and she's strong. But we did that because we realized

569
00:31:13,470 --> 00:31:15,910
S9: God did call us to something deeper, and the enemy

570
00:31:16,070 --> 00:31:18,630
S9: doesn't want us to continue to go forth. So that

571
00:31:18,630 --> 00:31:21,630
S9: was an important point. We also remind ourselves we are

572
00:31:21,670 --> 00:31:24,950
S9: we are allies, not enemies. We are friends, not foes.

573
00:31:25,070 --> 00:31:27,270
S9: We are on the same team. We don't like each

574
00:31:27,310 --> 00:31:29,870
S9: other right now. She chased me around the house once

575
00:31:29,870 --> 00:31:31,950
S9: with my love and respect book, saying, what would you

576
00:31:31,950 --> 00:31:33,870
S9: say to a husband treating his wife the way you're.

577
00:31:33,870 --> 00:31:36,310
S10: Treating you right now? I love that she did that.

578
00:31:36,350 --> 00:31:38,350
S10: Last time you were on and you told us that,

579
00:31:38,350 --> 00:31:41,710
S10: I'm like, yes, way to go, Sarah. And I love

580
00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:43,790
S10: the fact that you can share that. That's hard to.

581
00:31:43,830 --> 00:31:47,230
S6: Share for a high and mighty preacher, right? Man? It's hard.

582
00:31:47,230 --> 00:31:50,230
S9: Well, it's not hard because it's true. And I hate

583
00:31:50,230 --> 00:31:53,550
S9: to be truthful, I suppose, but we call it negative encouragement.

584
00:31:53,550 --> 00:31:57,190
S9: I think people move into despair thinking if it's not perfect, then,

585
00:31:57,230 --> 00:32:00,750
S9: you know, they let defeat defeat them. And Proverbs 2416 says,

586
00:32:00,790 --> 00:32:04,190
S9: A righteous man falls seven times, but arises again. And

587
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:05,790
S9: Sarah and I just have committed. We're going to get

588
00:32:05,790 --> 00:32:08,710
S9: back up again. We're not going to let defeat defeat us.

589
00:32:08,710 --> 00:32:10,830
S9: We're going to believe in that call, and we're just

590
00:32:10,830 --> 00:32:12,470
S9: going to ask the Lord to help us again. And

591
00:32:12,470 --> 00:32:15,150
S9: we've often said to each other, look, apart from Christ,

592
00:32:15,190 --> 00:32:17,910
S9: we can do nothing. And we lean into that. We

593
00:32:17,950 --> 00:32:20,110
S9: we are so comforted by the fact that he's given

594
00:32:20,110 --> 00:32:23,070
S9: us the Holy Spirit, who is called the helper. Why?

595
00:32:23,110 --> 00:32:24,700
S9: Because I need his help.

596
00:32:24,740 --> 00:32:27,620
S4: We have special guest, Doctor Emerson Eggerichs with us right now.

597
00:32:27,660 --> 00:32:30,980
S4: Coming up, let's talk more about these light bulb moments

598
00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:33,459
S4: that can improve your marriage. More coming up here on

599
00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:34,180
S4: Carl and crew.

600
00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:39,540
S1: She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her.

601
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:43,620
S1: Super D is in the crew. It's Carl and crew

602
00:32:43,620 --> 00:32:44,980
S1: on Moody Radio.

603
00:32:45,020 --> 00:32:48,100
S4: Doctor Emerson eggerichs with us right now. Let's talk about

604
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:51,180
S4: one that you mentioned in the first segment. Are we

605
00:32:51,220 --> 00:32:53,980
S4: getting our cues from the right place? It's easy to

606
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:58,300
S4: watch a good hallmark movie or a rom com, and

607
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:01,420
S4: you see the love story play out on, on, on

608
00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:04,500
S4: TV or on a movie. And we don't realize that

609
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:08,020
S4: we're being subtly influenced, even if we wouldn't say that

610
00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:10,780
S4: that's what we're going after. How often does this come

611
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:13,100
S4: into play? Well, we're not looking to the Word of God.

612
00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:15,780
S4: We're looking to things that we always believed were true

613
00:33:15,780 --> 00:33:17,260
S4: just because that's what we saw.

614
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,979
S9: No, the excellent question. And that's why I say, are

615
00:33:19,980 --> 00:33:22,460
S9: we going to live by the Holy Word or by Hollywood?

616
00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:25,380
S9: And it's not that those Idealisms alley are wrong. God

617
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:30,180
S9: has designed women in particular. They're they're incurable romantics. You

618
00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:33,060
S9: are incurable romantics. You can see a husband and wife

619
00:33:33,060 --> 00:33:37,340
S9: walking hand in hand for 14,000 miles away. You know,

620
00:33:37,380 --> 00:33:39,820
S9: you pick it up. And so there is something within

621
00:33:39,820 --> 00:33:42,020
S9: the heart of a woman that longs for this. But

622
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,420
S9: that has to be tempered a little bit because we

623
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:46,180
S9: live in a fallen world. So how does she hold

624
00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:49,100
S9: on to that idealism? Uh, and at the same time,

625
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:52,300
S9: understand that first Corinthians 728 says, if you marry, you've

626
00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:55,540
S9: not you've not sinned, but you will have trouble. And

627
00:33:55,540 --> 00:33:58,340
S9: that's the special challenges that come to all marriages. And

628
00:33:58,340 --> 00:34:01,340
S9: God uses that friction. Iron sharpens iron, so one brother

629
00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:03,540
S9: sharpens another. But there are many women who say, if

630
00:34:03,540 --> 00:34:05,540
S9: we just if we loved each other, we wouldn't have

631
00:34:05,540 --> 00:34:08,580
S9: these conflicts. Well, that's not a biblical truth. But the

632
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:10,980
S9: question is, how do we navigate those troubles in a

633
00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:14,180
S9: way that actually leads to greater peace and happiness and

634
00:34:14,180 --> 00:34:17,860
S9: joy and a friendship with each other than anything Hollywood

635
00:34:17,860 --> 00:34:20,540
S9: could ever offer? Because they show you the the ending,

636
00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:23,820
S9: but they don't show you the next 14 years where

637
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:26,060
S9: they were living together, they always stop it right at

638
00:34:26,100 --> 00:34:28,900
S9: that point of idealism. So we have to be prudent

639
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:32,180
S9: on this. And I share testimony after testimony, particularly among

640
00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:36,299
S9: women who usually ask that question, how they navigated that

641
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:39,500
S9: without letting go of realistic expectations.

642
00:34:39,739 --> 00:34:41,859
S6: You know, Emerson, one of the things that God has

643
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:45,100
S6: most used in my life is is a tough one.

644
00:34:45,100 --> 00:34:47,260
S6: And that is seven years into our marriage, been married

645
00:34:47,260 --> 00:34:49,660
S6: 38 years now, and she's my best buddy and I

646
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:53,940
S6: am hers. And I love that girl to bits. She

647
00:34:53,940 --> 00:34:55,980
S6: came to me seven years into marriage. We're knee deep

648
00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:59,540
S6: in ministry. We got hundreds of single adults come into

649
00:34:59,540 --> 00:35:01,660
S6: a ministry. I'm being mentored by one of the greatest

650
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:04,779
S6: leaders in the nation. I mean, everything looks great. We're

651
00:35:04,780 --> 00:35:07,180
S6: going on dates once a week. But she said to me,

652
00:35:07,180 --> 00:35:11,899
S6: I don't love you anymore. Now, that's. That was brutal.

653
00:35:12,060 --> 00:35:14,660
S6: Rip my heart out. I didn't even know what to do.

654
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:17,900
S6: I was tempted to blame her for everything. But God

655
00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:21,089
S6: worked in that. Took me to the school of Grace.

656
00:35:21,130 --> 00:35:24,570
S6: Teach me how to become a husband. One of those things.

657
00:35:24,570 --> 00:35:27,969
S6: And I'm so pumped that this is chapter five in

658
00:35:27,969 --> 00:35:34,489
S6: your book. Was being quiet enough to understand my bride's needs.

659
00:35:34,489 --> 00:35:39,370
S6: Have her heart felt like it was heard? Man, we

660
00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:41,649
S6: can't skip past this, can we? Emerson.

661
00:35:41,650 --> 00:35:44,810
S9: Excellent insight on clarity and that we sometimes think if

662
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:47,570
S9: we talk more, we're going to resolve it rather than

663
00:35:47,570 --> 00:35:50,730
S9: really aim at mutual understanding. Because she speaks pink, he

664
00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:53,730
S9: speaks blue. Sometimes even that statement I, I don't know

665
00:35:53,730 --> 00:35:56,450
S9: if I love you, uh, is really a cry. It's

666
00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:59,770
S9: not necessarily a definitive conclusion, but if we immediately interpret

667
00:35:59,770 --> 00:36:02,530
S9: that at face value, we could jump all over that.

668
00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:05,730
S9: Then another chapter I talk about our defensive reactions proved

669
00:36:05,730 --> 00:36:09,049
S9: to be offensive, and we snowball in the situation. But

670
00:36:09,050 --> 00:36:11,810
S9: you pause long enough to really seek to understand her.

671
00:36:11,969 --> 00:36:14,410
S9: And this is the beautiful thing about women women. They'll

672
00:36:14,410 --> 00:36:17,050
S9: pause very quickly if a man gets humble, says, I'm sorry,

673
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:19,529
S9: what can I do to make this different? I see

674
00:36:19,530 --> 00:36:21,410
S9: what you're saying. I'm hearing it. I feel like I'm

675
00:36:21,410 --> 00:36:23,930
S9: failing you. I don't want to. I'm trying to be

676
00:36:23,930 --> 00:36:25,930
S9: a good willed, honorable man. But I need to make

677
00:36:25,930 --> 00:36:28,250
S9: some changes here. I don't know of too many women

678
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:32,489
S9: who wouldn't just suddenly. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. I mean,

679
00:36:32,489 --> 00:36:35,370
S9: they they're very responsive to that. I don't know what

680
00:36:35,370 --> 00:36:38,570
S9: happened subsequent to that conversation you had, but I predict

681
00:36:38,570 --> 00:36:40,370
S9: for most men out there, they need to trust me.

682
00:36:40,410 --> 00:36:43,010
S9: What I'm saying, it isn't as bad as you think.

683
00:36:43,250 --> 00:36:46,609
S9: It is serious. You mustn't dismiss it. But you can

684
00:36:46,610 --> 00:36:50,169
S9: rebound quite quickly. And we hear testimony after testimony of

685
00:36:50,170 --> 00:36:52,650
S9: men who made a decision to do what you did.

686
00:36:52,650 --> 00:36:54,969
S9: And look what happened 38 years later.

687
00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:57,650
S6: Well, you know, what's interesting is I didn't have a

688
00:36:57,650 --> 00:37:00,090
S6: fix for her, and I didn't blame her. I just

689
00:37:00,090 --> 00:37:02,890
S6: simply said to her, I'm going to go before the

690
00:37:02,890 --> 00:37:05,609
S6: Lord and become the man that you need me to be.

691
00:37:05,650 --> 00:37:07,290
S6: And I don't know how that's going to happen. You

692
00:37:07,290 --> 00:37:09,050
S6: know what? A smile came across her face.

693
00:37:09,250 --> 00:37:12,250
S4: Doctor Emerson with us right now. What would you say

694
00:37:12,250 --> 00:37:14,930
S4: to the couple? That feels like maybe they don't fall

695
00:37:14,930 --> 00:37:19,080
S4: into some of the categories you're describing the pink and blue.

696
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,200
S4: And the wife does this and the husband does this.

697
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:25,480
S4: Maybe they're not. That doesn't describe them at all. What

698
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,640
S4: do you say? Because I know that we can speak

699
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,560
S4: in generalities that are often true, but certainly every couple

700
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:32,400
S4: is unique.

701
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,120
S9: Well, each couple has to decide why are they in conflict?

702
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,680
S9: I mean, that's a simple question. Why are we always

703
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,400
S9: doing the same thing over and over again? If they're

704
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,200
S9: like the rest of us, they find these patterns and

705
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:46,160
S9: somebody has to step back and have a conversation about

706
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,000
S9: how they're not having conversations. Well, they need to have

707
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,600
S9: a conversation about why is this continuing to get derailed here?

708
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,160
S9: Why are we negatively reacting regardless of what the issue is?

709
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,759
S9: And I talk about this in terms of motivation versus manipulation,

710
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,600
S9: regardless of the issue, regardless of our temperament, regardless of

711
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,240
S9: whatever it is that we might be stereotyping, they think

712
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,000
S9: there is going to be a tendency to negatively react,

713
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,800
S9: to motivate my spouse to be positive. And you can't

714
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,680
S9: be negative to motivate your spouse to be positive. You

715
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,040
S9: cannot use unholy means to achieve worthy ends. But because

716
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,560
S9: we're insecure, we protect ourselves and we expect that other

717
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,480
S9: person to decode this. That's not going to work regardless

718
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,759
S9: of the issue on the table. So we talk about

719
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,920
S9: these principles that apply across the board to all husbands

720
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,080
S9: and wives. And one of the main principles that's universal.

721
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,960
S9: You cannot be negative to motivate your spouse to be positive.

722
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:43,080
S6: Emerson. Doctor Emerson Eggerichs here with us today. Is there

723
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,320
S6: hope for someone who feels like there is no hope

724
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,880
S6: at all? That's where a lot of our people are today. And,

725
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,680
S6: you know, we talk a lot about the issue of

726
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:57,080
S6: glorified roommates. It's it's an epidemic for sure. Divorce. But

727
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,680
S6: what's more of an epidemic, Emerson. And I know, you know,

728
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:07,800
S6: this is people that share the same chicken account, same vacations,

729
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:13,440
S6: same kids, occasional sex. But quite frankly, their marriage sucks.

730
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,880
S6: It's not going well. What do you say to them?

731
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,560
S9: Well, if there's betrayal and adultery and a person is

732
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,200
S9: committing that on an ongoing basis. Yes, that is serious,

733
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,000
S9: that that would be perhaps reason for hopelessness. The other

734
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,240
S9: person is unwilling, you know, to turn their hearts toward

735
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,120
S9: Christ and toward the family and toward this spouse. And

736
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,640
S9: they are turning their hearts elsewhere. But most conflicts are

737
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,719
S9: clashing preferences in the gray area of life. And that

738
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,000
S9: one of the principles is is not wrong, just different

739
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,480
S9: shades of right, not wrong, just different shades of right.

740
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,560
S9: But we don't know how to negotiate those moments of conflict.

741
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,719
S9: Because if I'm right, then I know Sarah's wrong, right?

742
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,399
S9: But she's really not wrong. She's just less better. And

743
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,879
S9: we don't have ways of wording this that I say

744
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,640
S9: to Sarah, oftentimes, look, you could be far better on this.

745
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,400
S9: You have more insight on this. Let's continue to brainstorm

746
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,000
S9: about this. I'm not going to say you're wrong because

747
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,080
S9: I don't believe that this is a gray area issue.

748
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,000
S9: We we are subjective in our opinion on this. And

749
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,160
S9: one of the things we do in the book is

750
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,840
S9: give people language to word themselves differently because it isn't

751
00:40:14,950 --> 00:40:19,310
S9: as hopeless as they think. Oftentimes, we're sabotaging the relationship

752
00:40:19,310 --> 00:40:21,950
S9: by the mis wording of things. We don't say things

753
00:40:21,950 --> 00:40:24,110
S9: in a prudent way, and it puts the other person

754
00:40:24,150 --> 00:40:28,390
S9: on the defensive. It communicates their wrong. It communicates their failing.

755
00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:30,590
S9: And even if that's not our intent, we have to

756
00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:33,790
S9: step back and ask ourselves, is that how they're interpreting

757
00:40:33,790 --> 00:40:37,430
S9: my words right now? And just as you made an adjustment, Carl,

758
00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,390
S9: all of us can make that adjustment and it can

759
00:40:39,390 --> 00:40:42,069
S9: turn and pivot quickly. That's why I've said people feel

760
00:40:42,070 --> 00:40:44,669
S9: they're miles apart. They're really inches apart, and it can

761
00:40:44,670 --> 00:40:47,750
S9: turn over in just a few hours. It's just that quick.

762
00:40:47,750 --> 00:40:50,270
S9: And these people in the book talk about that. And

763
00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:52,430
S9: this gives hope to people where they didn't think they

764
00:40:52,430 --> 00:40:54,870
S9: had any hope. They suddenly realized, whoa, if I just

765
00:40:54,870 --> 00:40:57,069
S9: make a little adjustment here, this is going to go

766
00:40:57,110 --> 00:40:59,589
S9: miles and the academic research I have my PhD and

767
00:40:59,590 --> 00:41:02,469
S9: family studies. Academic research says it doesn't take a whole

768
00:41:02,469 --> 00:41:05,950
S9: lot to make a huge change, and people need to

769
00:41:05,950 --> 00:41:09,110
S9: hear that they are not powerless. They just lack perhaps

770
00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:11,150
S9: a little knowledge and a little skill.

771
00:41:11,430 --> 00:41:14,070
S4: The book is called Light Bulb Moments in Marriage 12

772
00:41:14,110 --> 00:41:18,709
S4: Biblical perspectives for Successful and Satisfied Couples. Text. Light to

773
00:41:18,750 --> 00:41:23,270
S4: 800 555 7898. We'll send you the more on the

774
00:41:23,270 --> 00:41:29,070
S4: book and our guest. Just text light to 800 555 7898.

775
00:41:29,710 --> 00:41:33,670
S1: Walking closer to Jesus every day. You're listening to Carl

776
00:41:33,670 --> 00:41:34,350
S1: and crew.

777
00:41:34,670 --> 00:41:37,270
S6: So heartening to see so many links going out, not

778
00:41:37,270 --> 00:41:40,390
S6: only for that resource, but also for the show. Cast

779
00:41:40,430 --> 00:41:43,390
S6: to listen to Emerson again. And that is just thrilling

780
00:41:43,430 --> 00:41:47,509
S6: to me. I it's so this vantage point that God

781
00:41:47,510 --> 00:41:50,270
S6: has given us to see your response boom crew via

782
00:41:50,270 --> 00:41:53,630
S6: text as to what's really moving the dial in your heart.

783
00:41:53,670 --> 00:41:57,390
S6: We we are attentive to this and we try to

784
00:41:57,430 --> 00:41:59,630
S6: gear our content around it, don't we, Allie?

785
00:41:59,670 --> 00:42:03,270
S4: Absolutely. We look at different analytics. We see what you're

786
00:42:03,270 --> 00:42:07,310
S4: texting in, what keywords have the biggest appeal and also

787
00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:09,750
S4: show casts. We look at those numbers too, when we

788
00:42:09,750 --> 00:42:12,469
S4: see that there's a topic that gets a lot of downloads.

789
00:42:12,580 --> 00:42:15,299
S4: We know that. That's one that's good to revisit.

790
00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:17,100
S6: There we go. Okay, I'm going to do a pop

791
00:42:17,140 --> 00:42:21,580
S6: up quiz here. If you could have us tackle a

792
00:42:21,820 --> 00:42:25,460
S6: topic on this show we might have been before, might

793
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,219
S6: have done it before, might have never done it. That

794
00:42:28,219 --> 00:42:32,339
S6: you've heard. What is that that's on your heart. Most

795
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:35,140
S6: want you to text us, not call us. But we're

796
00:42:35,140 --> 00:42:38,339
S6: going to do a little bit of information gathering here

797
00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:40,780
S6: for a second, because we aim to serve you boom crew.

798
00:42:40,780 --> 00:42:44,860
S6: And we're going to monitor this as it comes in. Ali,

799
00:42:44,860 --> 00:42:48,300
S6: let's get the let's get the feedback cooking here. Sister.

800
00:42:48,340 --> 00:42:50,820
S4: What is that topic that you would love to see

801
00:42:50,900 --> 00:42:53,900
S4: us cover again? Or maybe for the first time, just

802
00:42:53,900 --> 00:43:00,300
S4: text us your ideas, your suggestions. 800 555 7898 800

803
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:02,940
S4: 555 7898.

804
00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:04,899
S6: Yeah, give us your text, by the way. It can't

805
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:07,300
S6: be Chicago Bears. We're done with them for at least

806
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:07,980
S6: eight months.

807
00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:11,860
S1: He was sharing the gospel on the radio and then

808
00:43:11,900 --> 00:43:16,220
S1: he got saved. Young thunders in the crew. It's Carl

809
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,940
S1: and crew on Moody Radio.

810
00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:21,060
S6: So I want to give you these three. Three ways.

811
00:43:21,060 --> 00:43:24,020
S6: Boldness for the gospel really grows to be unashamed of

812
00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:28,020
S6: the gospel. Gospel clarity. Ali nailed it. It's about understanding

813
00:43:28,020 --> 00:43:30,460
S6: what's really going on in the lives of people who

814
00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:33,140
S6: are lost, and embracing that and holding on to that.

815
00:43:33,140 --> 00:43:36,780
S6: Sometimes we can we can lose sight of that for sure.

816
00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:40,540
S6: Identity security. Knowing who you are in Jesus, that your

817
00:43:40,540 --> 00:43:44,900
S6: life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ appears,

818
00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:48,100
S6: you also will appear with him in glory. That's huge.

819
00:43:48,219 --> 00:43:51,980
S6: Just having that embedded in you. And then here's a

820
00:43:52,020 --> 00:43:57,939
S6: here's a fun one. Spiritual engagement. When you're in the

821
00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:59,900
S6: hoop and wharf of what's going on, this is what

822
00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:02,940
S6: we find in acts 420, for we cannot but speak

823
00:44:02,940 --> 00:44:05,780
S6: of what we have seen and heard. When you see

824
00:44:05,820 --> 00:44:08,939
S6: and hear what God is doing, it puts fuel in

825
00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:10,300
S6: your belly. Ali.

826
00:44:10,410 --> 00:44:14,049
S4: And so oftentimes that requires us being engaged in some way,

827
00:44:14,050 --> 00:44:17,810
S4: whether that's in an active ministry through our church or

828
00:44:18,130 --> 00:44:20,530
S4: something that you're doing on your own with your family.

829
00:44:20,530 --> 00:44:23,770
S4: When we have a goal and a purpose. Ministry wise,

830
00:44:23,770 --> 00:44:26,170
S4: it often helps our gospel boldness.

831
00:44:26,210 --> 00:44:28,930
S6: Yeah. So I don't know if I'm going to have

832
00:44:28,930 --> 00:44:31,250
S6: time for a question on this one, but I want

833
00:44:31,290 --> 00:44:35,609
S6: to give you something that is going to surprise you

834
00:44:35,610 --> 00:44:39,210
S6: about a gospel witness. So the statistics are that like

835
00:44:39,210 --> 00:44:42,850
S6: 1 to 2% of Christians that I would say have

836
00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:46,690
S6: a Christian worldview order their private and public lives around

837
00:44:46,690 --> 00:44:52,489
S6: Jesus and his teachings? The the numbers are pretty staggering,

838
00:44:52,530 --> 00:44:57,009
S6: saying about 1 to 2% of people in that camp,

839
00:44:57,050 --> 00:45:00,650
S6: you boom cru, the vast majority of you have shared

840
00:45:00,650 --> 00:45:03,930
S6: their faith. I do not think that number is accurate.

841
00:45:03,930 --> 00:45:06,170
S6: I think it's way too low, because I think we're

842
00:45:06,170 --> 00:45:09,850
S6: looking past one of the most powerful witnesses that we have,

843
00:45:10,090 --> 00:45:13,210
S6: and many have done it. Take a stab at what

844
00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:13,690
S6: it is.

845
00:45:14,530 --> 00:45:17,730
S4: Um, sharing your story. Is that what you're thinking?

846
00:45:17,730 --> 00:45:20,170
S6: Okay, that's that's a big one.

847
00:45:20,610 --> 00:45:21,049
S4: Uh oh.

848
00:45:22,530 --> 00:45:23,290
S3: Excuse me.

849
00:45:25,570 --> 00:45:27,410
S6: That's a big one. And it's part of what what

850
00:45:27,410 --> 00:45:30,009
S6: I'm going to share here. That is a big piece

851
00:45:30,010 --> 00:45:36,410
S6: of it. When people are baptized as disciples of Christ,

852
00:45:37,090 --> 00:45:39,489
S6: and you get up and share your story, or you've

853
00:45:39,489 --> 00:45:41,290
S6: done it on video and they play it on a

854
00:45:41,290 --> 00:45:44,850
S6: screen beforehand, right? There's different ways that it's done. But

855
00:45:44,850 --> 00:45:48,169
S6: if you get an opportunity before you're baptized, just share

856
00:45:48,170 --> 00:45:51,890
S6: what Jesus has done and you have other people there

857
00:45:51,890 --> 00:45:55,850
S6: that you've invited, or people in the church that have

858
00:45:55,850 --> 00:45:58,250
S6: maybe never heard the gospel. This is why I think

859
00:45:58,250 --> 00:46:00,490
S6: that number is skewed. I don't think we give credit

860
00:46:00,489 --> 00:46:02,970
S6: where credit's due. I think a lot of people, when

861
00:46:02,969 --> 00:46:06,810
S6: they've been baptized, have in fact, shared the good news

862
00:46:06,810 --> 00:46:09,850
S6: of Jesus Christ and what he's done in their life.

863
00:46:09,969 --> 00:46:14,089
S4: So you think the statistic would be higher if it

864
00:46:14,130 --> 00:46:17,049
S4: included that? What about an ongoing basis? Do you think

865
00:46:17,050 --> 00:46:20,649
S4: that that's an accurate number for just like the relational

866
00:46:20,650 --> 00:46:21,930
S4: sharing of the gospel?

867
00:46:21,969 --> 00:46:24,489
S6: I do. And it's and thank you because you set

868
00:46:24,489 --> 00:46:28,489
S6: it up with story. The greatest thing we see as

869
00:46:28,530 --> 00:46:32,609
S6: the tool of of sharing the gospel is woman at

870
00:46:32,610 --> 00:46:35,569
S6: the well Paul before Agrippa. What do we find with

871
00:46:35,570 --> 00:46:39,890
S6: those two biblical citations? What do we find there?

872
00:46:39,930 --> 00:46:41,609
S4: It's the sharing of story. I mean, you think of

873
00:46:41,610 --> 00:46:44,850
S4: the woman in the well, she encountered Jesus and she

874
00:46:44,850 --> 00:46:47,569
S4: ran and she said, come meet a man who told

875
00:46:47,570 --> 00:46:51,529
S4: me everything about myself. Like his ability to see who

876
00:46:51,530 --> 00:46:55,250
S4: she was, was what drew her to go and tell people.

877
00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:56,570
S4: Come and see him.

878
00:46:56,610 --> 00:46:59,570
S6: Yeah, yeah, it's so cool. And then Paul before Agrippa

879
00:47:00,010 --> 00:47:04,130
S6: in three minutes and change. He shared his whole story

880
00:47:04,130 --> 00:47:07,640
S6: with King Agrippa and it was gripping to him, pardon

881
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,319
S6: the pun. So it's an awesome it's an awesome thing

882
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:14,799
S6: to share story. But here's here's what I want to

883
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:20,320
S6: encourage you with. A lot of you were baptized, as

884
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:24,640
S6: myself and Jonathan in particular were as kids being raised

885
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:28,040
S6: in church. But you were never baptized as a disciple

886
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,200
S6: of Christ. You might have a question. Well, Karl, were

887
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,920
S6: you then baptized as a disciple of Christ? I was

888
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:40,360
S6: I was not rebaptized because when you're baptized and declare

889
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,120
S6: Jesus Christ as Lord of my life, I've repented and

890
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,480
S6: I've surrendered, and I've experienced Christ in me, the hope

891
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,319
S6: of glory. Man that's different. So when I was a

892
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,720
S6: kid and was baptized, I got wet. When I was

893
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,640
S6: an adult, after I was born again and a disciple

894
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,759
S6: of Christ, I became a witness.

895
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,880
S4: You're saying because for you, for your experience, when you

896
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,400
S4: were baptized as a child, you weren't actually a follower

897
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,520
S4: of Jesus? Not that it's not possible for a child.

898
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:07,440
S3: Who is.

899
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,600
S4: A follower of Jesus.

900
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:13,160
S6: There can be very many children who genuinely are repentant

901
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:16,880
S6: of sin and following Jesus with their whole heart. That

902
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:22,480
S6: is true. But for vast numbers of people even listening today,

903
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,680
S6: there right now being challenged with oh boy, I've never

904
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:32,640
S6: been discipled or excuse me, baptized as a disciple of

905
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,200
S6: Jesus Christ. And here's what I want you to do

906
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,480
S6: with that. Ready for this boom crew? I want you

907
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,400
S6: to go get baptized as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

908
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:49,640
S6: And it's an awesome thing. And it can that possibly

909
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:54,520
S6: be a testimony for some sitting there in the church alley?

910
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:57,240
S6: Absolutely massive, right?

911
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:57,800
S3: Yeah.

912
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:02,040
S4: I mean, Jonathan, you you were able to experience that, right?

913
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,670
S2: I was, uh, it was it was cool because my,

914
00:49:05,870 --> 00:49:09,430
S2: I got, uh, you know, the language is difficult. I

915
00:49:09,469 --> 00:49:11,509
S2: got baptized when I was eight, but I didn't really.

916
00:49:11,510 --> 00:49:14,270
S2: I wasn't a follower of Jesus, and so it wasn't

917
00:49:14,310 --> 00:49:17,790
S2: a reality in my life. Uh, my dad did that

918
00:49:17,790 --> 00:49:22,069
S2: with me. And then in 2022, I came back to

919
00:49:22,110 --> 00:49:25,589
S2: him and I said, I need to be baptized as

920
00:49:25,590 --> 00:49:28,630
S2: a disciple of Christ because now I am following Jesus.

921
00:49:28,630 --> 00:49:30,109
S2: And we talked about it and he said, yes, I'll

922
00:49:30,110 --> 00:49:33,509
S2: baptize you. And so, so he baptized me, you know,

923
00:49:33,550 --> 00:49:37,590
S2: almost 20 years later, uh, as a disciple of Christ.

924
00:49:37,590 --> 00:49:39,629
S2: And I got to share my testimony with people. And

925
00:49:39,630 --> 00:49:42,469
S2: I was telling everybody that that I was baptized when

926
00:49:42,469 --> 00:49:44,870
S2: I was eight, uh, in the church. And I got

927
00:49:44,870 --> 00:49:47,149
S2: to share that. And after I was done, some people

928
00:49:47,150 --> 00:49:49,350
S2: came up and asked me questions, and I got to

929
00:49:49,350 --> 00:49:52,430
S2: talk with them about that and, and the reality of

930
00:49:52,430 --> 00:49:54,950
S2: Christ in my life. And so, uh, it is it

931
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:58,390
S2: is an excellent opportunity to be able to share what

932
00:49:58,430 --> 00:50:01,670
S2: God has done in you, uh, the new miracle that

933
00:50:01,670 --> 00:50:03,110
S2: that he's living out in you.

934
00:50:03,150 --> 00:50:04,430
S6: Yeah. Yeah.