1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,520 S1: Singles. This program is for you. Yesterday we talked to 2 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,720 S1: grandparents who are excited about Christmas. Today we talk about 3 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:16,440 S1: singles and Christmas, and the question is this what's the 4 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,600 S1: best thing about being single at Christmas? Usually we highlight 5 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,760 S1: the struggles, the loneliness, the holidays that seem structured around 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,640 S1: couples and families and you don't feel part. And the romance, 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,520 S1: you know, the movies that tug at the heart and 8 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,720 S1: make you think that if you're not with somebody else 9 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,519 S1: at this time of year, then you're less than. I 10 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,760 S1: want to see if we can flip that negative around 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,199 S1: today and not deny that for many, this is a 12 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,880 S1: really hard time of year, but at the same time 13 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:46,400 S1: recognize there are perks of being single at Christmas. Let's 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,440 S1: come up with the top ten perks of being single 15 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:56,680 S1: at Christmas. Call me now. Call early. Call often (877) 548-3675. 16 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,720 S1: I'm going to keep a running list of the top 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:06,880 S1: ten perks of being single at Christmas. (877) 548-3675. Helping us 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,640 S1: out today as we welcome back Lisa Anderson from the 19 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,360 S1: Boundless Ministry of Focus on the family. I was looking 20 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,880 S1: at their website today. There are a lot of great 21 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,560 S1: articles and resources. If you are struggling, you'll find a 22 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:23,560 S1: link there. Chris Fabry lives. Lisa's coming on straight ahead 23 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 S1: here on the program, from the heart to the heart 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,319 S1: and for the heart of singles. Let me thank our team. 25 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,440 S1: Now listen to this. Ryan McConaughey is single. He's our engineer. 26 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,960 S1: Lisa's helping out today. Lisa is single. So half of 27 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,840 S1: our team right here is single. There's even. But there's more. Wait. 28 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,040 S1: Tricia's our producer. She's married to Nate. Josh is answering 29 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,759 S1: your calls. He's married to Sarah, but Caleb is testing 30 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,640 S1: the phones out. He is single, also in Colorado Springs. 31 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,560 S1: Johnny is single. Rich is married. Thank you, Johnny and Rich. 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,400 S1: Now you know all you need to know. Except for 33 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,090 S1: this one week from days, Christmas Eve. Did you know 34 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:02,770 S1: that next week, one week from today, is Christmas Eve, 35 00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:06,410 S1: which means there are two weeks from the end of 36 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,130 S1: the year. And all this month we've been giving away 37 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:12,810 S1: a great, inspiring resource to anyone who gives a year 38 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:16,530 S1: end gift. Chris Fabry live. Hosanna in excelsis, the hardback book. 39 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,169 S1: You get the back story on the hymns and carols, 40 00:02:19,169 --> 00:02:23,290 S1: the texts and tunes that we love. Everything from Longfellow's. 41 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:26,090 S1: I heard the Bells on Christmas Day, the story of 42 00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:30,770 S1: I wonder as I wander. Did you know John Jacob 43 00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:35,610 S1: Niles was born in Louisville, Kentucky, just before D.L. Moody died? 44 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,810 S1: And did you know that his song came from three 45 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:41,890 S1: lines of music sung by a girl named Annie Morgan? 46 00:02:41,889 --> 00:02:43,970 S1: She said her mother had taught it to her when 47 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:46,370 S1: she was a little girl, and her grandmother had taught 48 00:02:46,370 --> 00:02:49,889 S1: it to her mother. So John listened. He actually paid 49 00:02:49,889 --> 00:02:51,889 S1: her a quarter to sing it over and over and 50 00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:54,730 S1: over again so he could get the text down. He 51 00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:59,329 S1: used a traditional Appalachian Latvian melody married the text to 52 00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:03,290 S1: the melody and voila! I wonder as I wander or 53 00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:06,690 S1: I wander as I wonder which is it? Out under 54 00:03:06,690 --> 00:03:09,570 S1: the sky? No, it's I wonder as I wander out 55 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:13,169 S1: under the sky. How Jesus the Savior did come for 56 00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:16,330 S1: to die. Let me send this book to you. I 57 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,330 S1: know you're going to enjoy it for years to come. 58 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:20,850 S1: I can't get it to you before Christmas, but you'll 59 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:23,450 S1: have it there next year when you haul out the holly. 60 00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:33,690 S1: Call or click through today. 866958669532279 or go to Kris fabric. Org. 61 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,530 S1: Scroll down. You'll see how you can be a friend 62 00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:37,370 S1: or a partner with us right there. It'd be really 63 00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:43,770 S1: encouraging to hear from you Kris. Singleness is not a 64 00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:46,770 S1: waiting room for marriage. Do you know who said that? 65 00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:50,130 S1: Lisa Anderson said that she is the director of Boundless 66 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,770 S1: and Young Adults at Focus on the family. She hosts 67 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:56,490 S1: the Boundless Show podcast. She is the author of The 68 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:59,690 S1: Dating Manifesto. We've talked about it here. A drama free 69 00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:03,490 S1: plan for pursuing marriage with purpose. Lisa. Welcome back. How 70 00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,010 S1: are you doing today, Chris? 71 00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:07,370 S2: It is so great to be back. I am doing well. 72 00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:11,290 S2: I am fresh off a Caribbean cruise. Isn't that great? 73 00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:13,170 S2: So anything's great today. 74 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:16,650 S1: That's what it said in the. She's an expert on 75 00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:21,010 S1: cruising and olives. So I was like well she's just 76 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,370 S1: been on a cruise. So that's what you like to 77 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:24,610 S1: go on the boat, right? 78 00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:28,010 S2: Well, we do need to say I'm a self-proclaimed expert. 79 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:31,609 S2: I don't know if I have credentials, but I do 80 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:34,609 S2: love me some cruising. Yes, I had to be convinced 81 00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:37,410 S2: of it some years ago, but now I'm kind of hooked. 82 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,610 S2: And also, yeah, olives are just an add on. I 83 00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:43,170 S2: am an olives expert as well, in case you ever 84 00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:46,130 S2: want to do a show on olives, just let me know. 85 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,890 S1: I didn't know that there was a whole lot you 86 00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:52,130 S1: could do about olives, but we'll talk after the program. Okay, 87 00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:56,380 S1: so traveling to me, that is one thing that you 88 00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:00,260 S1: could do as a single person, that if you are married, 89 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,620 S1: you have family. It would be a little more difficult. 90 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:05,980 S1: But as a single you can you can travel at Christmas, right? 91 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:09,300 S2: Right. And it was actually this trip was my suggestion 92 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,460 S2: because I went with two of my sisters and my nephew. 93 00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:15,660 S2: And so one of the challenges of being single at 94 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:19,180 S2: Christmas is that I it's usually assumed that I will 95 00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,059 S2: be the one to travel because I'm single. And can't 96 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,380 S2: I just drop everything and come, you know, so whatever. 97 00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:28,020 S2: So I said, but because of that, I have to 98 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,260 S2: kind of pick and choose, especially now that both of 99 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:34,020 S2: my parents are with Jesus. I have siblings, and it's like, well, 100 00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:35,980 S2: who do I choose to spend it with? So it 101 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:39,940 S2: can get awkward, it can get weird. It can get expensive. 102 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:43,140 S2: So I'm the one that suggested, how about if we do, 103 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:47,020 S2: like before Christmas, do a cruise and anyone who wants 104 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:48,940 S2: to come will do that and have that be our 105 00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:51,820 S2: family thing. So I was a little bit the instigator 106 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:53,940 S2: of that, and I'm a little proud of myself for 107 00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,180 S2: coming up with that idea. 108 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,100 S1: And it went well. You enjoyed yourself. 109 00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,180 S2: It did. It went very well and it was just 110 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:02,820 S2: a great time of connecting, making some new memories. Um, 111 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,380 S2: both of my sisters, you know, one of them had 112 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:09,100 S2: never cruised, so she was generally clueless. And it was 113 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,260 S2: really fun. We we hit the islands, we did snorkeling, 114 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,820 S2: we did a zip line. It was a lot of fun. 115 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,660 S1: Ah, we got to see pictures. Have to see pictures 116 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,140 S1: for sure. So the first caller was Tanya, who said 117 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,219 S1: the perk of being single at Christmas is you don't 118 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,380 S1: have to fight about what parent you're going to see 119 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,300 S1: during the holidays. You get to focus on your own family. 120 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,620 S1: That's that's a perk, right? 121 00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:34,220 S2: I was totally thinking of that one as well. The 122 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,820 S2: whole like, man, I have so many married friends that 123 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:40,740 S2: are always in this conundrum of arguing over in-laws. And 124 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,100 S2: you know what? What are you know, whose house are 125 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,020 S2: we going to? Are we going to do Christmas Eve 126 00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:47,460 S2: here and Christmas Day there? Are we going to fly? 127 00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:50,420 S2: Are we going to drive? What I think hand in 128 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:53,979 S2: hand with that is the whole idea of traditions. Like 129 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,540 S2: which traditions are we going to take on? And you 130 00:06:56,540 --> 00:07:01,140 S2: feel like you have to sacrifice some or jettison some because, well, 131 00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:04,060 S2: will this family celebrate that? So I'm with Tanya. I 132 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,180 S2: think that is a perk. 133 00:07:05,339 --> 00:07:08,779 S1: Yeah. And I honestly, I do not want this to 134 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:12,780 S1: be okay. Deny your struggle. Just focus on the positives. No. 135 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,460 S1: If you have a struggle with your singleness at Christmas, 136 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:18,380 S1: that's a it's a common thing. But we're not trying 137 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:19,740 S1: to deny the struggle. 138 00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:22,460 S2: Right, right. No, I mean, that's very true. And I 139 00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:24,820 S2: think there is there are a number of you know, 140 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,940 S2: we've talked about this a lot at boundless, a number 141 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:30,220 S2: of hard things about being single. And it's okay to 142 00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:33,940 S2: acknowledge that and it's okay to grieve that. But at 143 00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:37,820 S2: the same time, we know that Christmas is bigger than 144 00:07:37,820 --> 00:07:41,740 S2: our own emotions and the experiences that we've had, even 145 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,100 S2: the hurts that we've had. I mean, it is a 146 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:48,460 S2: grand birthday party of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, 147 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,150 S2: who I mean, we did our advent experience at boundless 148 00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:54,830 S2: this this year, and one of the themes was like, 149 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:59,470 S2: what changed because Jesus actually came? And that idea of, 150 00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:03,470 S2: oh my goodness, there is no longer a sacrifice for sin. 151 00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:05,670 S2: And the freedom that is in that. Like, we don't 152 00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:09,350 S2: have to return to sacrifice, we don't have to find 153 00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:13,110 S2: a better sacrifice that has been one and done. And, uh, 154 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:15,630 S2: and so again, just the freedom found in that is 155 00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:16,710 S2: available to us. 156 00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:20,110 S1: And that, I think, is I'll throw in mine, uh, 157 00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:24,470 S1: the you can really celebrate the meaning of Christmas. You 158 00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:27,790 S1: don't have to. Well, because when you have a family 159 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:30,430 S1: where you're married, you have a family. There's there are 160 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,990 S1: so many expectations, so many things that come along. And 161 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:36,510 S1: not that you can't celebrate Christmas and the real meaning 162 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:39,390 S1: of it if you're married. But I think as a 163 00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:42,069 S1: single person you can say, I'm really going to focus 164 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:45,950 S1: this year on what the true meaning of Christmas is 165 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:50,869 S1: and lean into that and be intentional about it. and 166 00:08:50,910 --> 00:08:53,230 S1: then have have the space to do that in your 167 00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:54,230 S1: own heart, right? 168 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:56,670 S2: Yeah. And just to add to that, I think that 169 00:08:56,710 --> 00:09:00,550 S2: what singleness brings to it is the unique opportunity to 170 00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:06,670 S2: prioritize quiet and stillness and that, you know, really taking 171 00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:09,110 S2: that time. And we tried, you know, in our advent 172 00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:13,030 S2: experience at boundless is open to anyone. It's a great personal, 173 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,709 S2: reflective experience. But but that idea of, I'm just going 174 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,829 S2: to sit in the quiet of my home and I'm 175 00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:21,630 S2: going to make this a priority for my week to 176 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:25,670 S2: study this scripture, to watch this video. We had it 177 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:29,150 S2: as a video experience this year, and it's just it's quiet. 178 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:32,350 S2: It's uninterrupted time with the Lord that so many of 179 00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:35,709 S2: my married friends say, oh, I long for those days 180 00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:38,990 S2: when I could just prioritize that, make that happen, not 181 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:41,990 S2: be in the hustle and bustle of looking after everyone else. 182 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:45,069 S1: Okay, so we've got three of the ten already. You 183 00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:49,950 S1: got to help us out though. 5483675. You can really 184 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:54,070 S1: celebrate the meaning of Christmas. You can slow down. Not that. 185 00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:57,510 S1: Not all the expectations travel. Lisa has talked about. You 186 00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,949 S1: can do some travel that you haven't done or that 187 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:02,670 S1: you really want to do. And what Tonya said, you 188 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:06,550 S1: don't have this push pull about what parent, what house 189 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:09,430 S1: that you're going to go to to celebrate Christmas. Those 190 00:10:09,429 --> 00:10:16,830 S1: are three, three of the ten 877548367, five. Singles and Christmas. 191 00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:47,680 S1: Today at the radio. Backyard fence. The top ten perks 192 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,640 S1: of being single at Christmas. Today at the radio backyard fence. Oh, 193 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:55,520 S1: this is going to be good. (877) 548-3675. Go to the website. 194 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,600 S1: You'll see Lisa Anderson. Click through today's information that the 195 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:05,040 S1: boundless website has a lot of resources for singles. You 196 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,600 S1: may not have heard about it. She releases director of 197 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,760 S1: Boundless and Young adults at Focus on the family, author 198 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,080 S1: of the Dating manifesto. We have that linked at Chris. 199 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,360 S1: Org and Faith is on the line from Indiana. Faith, 200 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,960 S1: what do you say today? Hi. That's a good word. 201 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:24,920 S1: Hi there. 202 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,880 S3: Sorry, my phone kind of clicked off. Sorry. Um, so 203 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,520 S3: what I wanted to share was. And I'm not single myself, 204 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,319 S3: I'm married, but I actually get to kind of experience 205 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,160 S3: this some two this year is that, you know, you 206 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,760 S3: have more time to share with your extended family as 207 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,520 S3: a young couple or a couple with children especially. You 208 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,280 S3: don't really get to go out and see your aunts 209 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,360 S3: and uncles and cousins, you know. And so I think 210 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,680 S3: that was a really positive thing about being single at Christmas. 211 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,520 S1: Love it. Lisa, what do you think? 212 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,760 S2: Yeah. That's cool. It's really a neat opportunity. You sharing 213 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,600 S2: that faith to say you can go back to almost 214 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,080 S2: what is an experience unique to singles. And that's kind 215 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,720 S2: of revisiting the way it was in your childhood, where 216 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,720 S2: it was your nuclear family with all your traditions that 217 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,360 S2: you had and kind of all the things that's that's 218 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,120 S2: a very fun, nostalgic, like reminiscing kind of way to 219 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,439 S2: go back to, oh, man, remember a few decades ago 220 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,120 S2: when we were growing up, and this is how it 221 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,319 S2: was before we had to merge families and form new 222 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,360 S2: traditions and all the things. So definitely a perk. 223 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:33,120 S1: Okay, so is that really a word? Reminisce. I gotta 224 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,000 S1: look that up. 225 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,840 S2: I know I made it up. I'm hoping to be 226 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,760 S2: the entry for the Oxford Dictionary word of the year. 227 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,679 S1: Somebody called Merriam-Webster and ask, is reminiscing it really a word? 228 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:48,480 S1: We'll find out. Okay. Rita. Thank you. Was that Rita? 229 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,679 S1: That wasn't Rita, was it? 230 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,079 S2: That was. 231 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,920 S1: Faith. Rita is next in Chicago. Hi, Rita. Go right ahead. 232 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,080 S4: Hi, Chris. Um, I'm actually also a married woman. I 233 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,840 S4: am happily married with two kids. However, I got married 234 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,840 S4: later in life. I was 37, and I have to say, 235 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,719 S4: this may or may not be biblical, but I. When 236 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,040 S4: I was single, I did not have the responsibility or 237 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,679 S4: the pressure to buy gifts for everyone. You know, I 238 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,320 S4: was a single woman. It's like you're not expected. You're 239 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:22,760 S4: not like a house, a married family. But now it's 240 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,079 S4: like that. I'm married. There is this pressure to, like, 241 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,800 S4: buy gifts for everyone. So I guess being single is 242 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,959 S4: kind of nice sometimes, because then you save money around 243 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,040 S4: the Christmas time and buying gifts. 244 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,440 S1: Now, I told Rita, I told that to Lisa. I 245 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,840 S1: said that Rita's coming up. Here's what she's going to say. 246 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,319 S1: And she said I might have to fight with her. 247 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,929 S1: So we're starting a big conflict, a Christmas. Okay, here 248 00:13:45,929 --> 00:13:47,450 S1: we go. Lisa, what do you say? 249 00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,730 S2: Let's get crazy. This is going to be a Christmas 250 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:53,490 S2: cage match. All right, here we go. No, I'm just teasing. Rita, 251 00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:55,450 S2: you have got to tell me how you did this. 252 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,330 S2: Because here's my thought on that. The assumption with my 253 00:13:58,330 --> 00:14:01,130 S2: family is that I'm going to go hang out with them, 254 00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:03,330 S2: you know? And again, it's they're all over the country. 255 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,850 S2: So it depends on where I go. But but the 256 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:10,290 S2: assumption is, you know, it's kind of like the singles. Weird. Um, 257 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:14,090 S2: just how I, how it ends up being because they 258 00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:18,170 S2: get me a gift from their family. But I'm expected 259 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:21,410 S2: to get individual gifts for everyone in their family. So 260 00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:23,770 S2: I finally was like, how am I supposed to do this? 261 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:26,770 S2: This is so expensive because I'm getting individual. How am 262 00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:28,890 S2: I supposed to shop for my brother in law? I 263 00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:32,090 S2: don't even know what he wants. He doesn't need anything. 264 00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:35,170 S2: He's kind of grumpy. Whatever. And then they're going to 265 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,970 S2: give me this family gift, you know, from there. And 266 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:40,130 S2: so it's funny. So I had to overcome that with 267 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,490 S2: the Lord's help. It's okay. He's been helping me. But 268 00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:45,490 S2: that's where I was like, I don't know, Rita. You're 269 00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:47,170 S2: going to have to show me how you got away 270 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:49,770 S2: with this. Buying fewer gifts, because I feel like it's 271 00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:51,170 S2: been the opposite for me. 272 00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:55,530 S4: Well, I guess maybe it's cultural because, like, why where 273 00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:58,170 S4: I come from is like, you know, like, you're not 274 00:14:58,170 --> 00:15:00,410 S4: expected as a single person. Like, they look at you 275 00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:03,050 S4: as like, you know what, you're paying your own rent, 276 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:05,290 S4: you're taking care of yourself. You got to pay for 277 00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,170 S4: your own car. You don't have a spouse to help 278 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:09,690 S4: you with the finances and the bills. So they kind 279 00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,730 S4: of take it easy on you. Maybe that's why. Maybe 280 00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:15,170 S4: I just have really nice family, I don't know. But yeah, 281 00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:16,690 S4: I guess I got away with it that way, I 282 00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:17,170 S4: don't know. 283 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:20,690 S1: Yeah. Rita, I'm so glad you called today. I'm so 284 00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,490 S1: glad that we got. We had this conflict here at 285 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:28,170 S1: the radio backyard fence between you and Lisa. Uh, now, 286 00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:30,650 S1: how long have you been married? You're 37. You were 287 00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,370 S1: 37 when you got married, right? 288 00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:35,530 S4: Well, yeah. Yeah. So I'm 44 now, so it'll be 289 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,290 S4: eight years in April. 290 00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:42,090 S1: Great. Excellent. Well, I'm so glad that you and Merry Christmas, 291 00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:44,810 S1: now do you? You don't buy tons and tons of 292 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:48,290 S1: presents now that you are married, right? 293 00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:52,090 S4: Well, I mean, to be honest, ever since I got married, 294 00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:54,410 S4: my family has actually toned it down. And I hate 295 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:56,250 S4: to say this now. You know, she's going to get 296 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:59,130 S4: mad at me even more. Uh, but now we actually, 297 00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:01,090 S4: the way we do, we actually do, like, a grab bag. 298 00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:03,810 S4: And so, like, my husband will grab a, you know, 299 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,930 S4: like a name and I'll grab a name. So, like, 300 00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:09,130 S4: we each buy for one person, but then we have 301 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:11,530 S4: little kids. So we have my kids and my sister 302 00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:15,610 S4: has two girls. So the kids get gifts from everyone. 303 00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,530 S4: Their names are not included in the grab bag, so 304 00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:21,610 S4: they automatically get Christmas presents. But the adults we have 305 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:25,450 S4: a grab bag, so each person buys for one other adult. 306 00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:25,930 S4: So I. 307 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:26,730 S1: Want to join your. 308 00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:27,690 S4: Family that. 309 00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:28,770 S1: Way. Why? Why? 310 00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:29,650 S4: At least I can. 311 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,609 S1: Can we go over to her house? Out. 312 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:34,130 S2: I know it sounds amazing, I love it. 313 00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:38,250 S1: And but that is intentionality. That is like, you know, 314 00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:41,820 S1: it's going to get to too much here. So let's 315 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:45,020 S1: do the names. Let's do the. And even you could 316 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:48,900 S1: do uh, the, the elephant exchange, the white elephant or 317 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:52,340 S1: that kind of thing. Sometimes that will work, but it's 318 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,620 S1: you have the freedom to do that as a single 319 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:58,420 S1: person and decide that. Right, Lisa? 320 00:16:58,460 --> 00:16:59,180 S4: I think so. 321 00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:00,460 S1: Oh. 322 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:03,260 S2: Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I think that is true. 323 00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:04,899 S2: And I think that kind of gets back to a 324 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,300 S2: little bit of what Faith was saying, too, in that 325 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,180 S2: one of the other benefits of being single at Christmas 326 00:17:10,340 --> 00:17:12,619 S2: is this idea of you can kind of make you 327 00:17:12,619 --> 00:17:15,700 S2: can make tracks like, I can look at my calendar 328 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,940 S2: and figure that out for myself. And no, you know, 329 00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:21,820 S2: gift giving aside, know that if I want to hit 330 00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:25,700 S2: this party, this friend group, this family member, this, I 331 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,420 S2: can kind of make it all work. I'm just having 332 00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:30,220 S2: to juggle myself. Not a whole bunch of family members 333 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,540 S2: who may or may not be willing to go or 334 00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:35,580 S2: want to do things or be available or whatever. 335 00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:38,300 S1: Yeah. Okay. So we have thank you. Rita, we have 336 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:41,179 S1: five of the ten. We're looking for five more perks 337 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:45,300 S1: of being single at Christmas. Lisa Anderson is with us. 338 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:49,100 S1: Nisa is in Georgia, so this might get kind of confusing. 339 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,419 S1: So let's let's everybody, everybody settle down now. Nisa, why 340 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,500 S1: did you call today? 341 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,139 S5: Um, well, first of all, I love you, Chris. I 342 00:17:57,140 --> 00:18:00,379 S5: love your show, and I'm thankful for it. Um, so 343 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,540 S5: I have two things that be thankful for being single 344 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,659 S5: at Christmas. Number one, I'm involved with two different ministries, 345 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:10,060 S5: and I don't have to hold back when I want 346 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,380 S5: to serve, especially in the holidays. You know, I can 347 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:16,300 S5: take part in that. So I'm thankful for that. And 348 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:19,620 S5: then also in my favorite perks of being single is 349 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:23,460 S5: I get to have sleepovers at the grandkids house anytime 350 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,100 S5: I want. 351 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:31,100 S1: Ah yes. So again, the freedom, the freedom to do 352 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,980 S1: whatever it is you want to do, whether it's serve 353 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,700 S1: or you're doing something at the church and the the 354 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:41,740 S1: musical program that was going on. It's not that, Lisa. 355 00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,780 S1: This is the other thing that. Let's get the singles 356 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:45,540 S1: to do that, to set up the chairs or whatever. 357 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:48,380 S1: That's not what I'm talking about. But you really feel 358 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:52,020 S1: energized when you serve in this way. You you don't 359 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:55,219 S1: have to worry about what is going on when you 360 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:58,140 S1: get home, or you know all those expectations that people have. 361 00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:00,020 S1: You can just go serve, right? Lisa. 362 00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:02,460 S2: Yeah. And I think it's one of the things it's 363 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:06,300 S2: kind of counteracting one of the biggest frustrations of singles 364 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,980 S2: at the holidays, and that is that they feel a 365 00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:13,180 S2: lack of community or togetherness, or they feel alone or 366 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,780 S2: they feel left behind. And I think this is a 367 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:19,780 S2: great opportunity to be part of Christian community, to serve 368 00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:23,340 S2: with brothers and sisters in Christ, to be contributing to 369 00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:28,180 S2: something bigger than yourself, and to celebrate Christmas in at 370 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:30,100 S2: the same time. I think it's just a great way 371 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,580 S2: to get the best of all worlds. 372 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:34,700 S1: Lisa, when you say you serve, what is it that 373 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:35,420 S1: you do? 374 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,110 S5: Well, I'm one of the leaders in an RA, which 375 00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:44,470 S5: is recovery alive. And I'm also a part of another 376 00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:49,630 S5: ministry called Tres Dias. So, um. Yeah, it's it's it's 377 00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:54,150 S5: just really wonderful experience to be able to be a 378 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:57,750 S5: part of people's lives when, you know, they may need 379 00:19:57,790 --> 00:20:01,550 S5: they may need help during the holidays. I can go and, 380 00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:04,190 S5: you know, minister to them, but also just being able 381 00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:06,470 S5: to take part and help out, like she said in 382 00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:09,550 S5: the church, you know, in children's ministry or wherever it's at, 383 00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:12,590 S5: if they have plays going on, you know, just just 384 00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:15,510 S5: being able to be available to do that and not 385 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:19,270 S5: have to coordinate it with, you know, the spouse and 386 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,510 S5: his family and friends. So, I mean, I don't I 387 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:27,870 S5: don't always love being single, but through the past five years, 388 00:20:27,869 --> 00:20:32,190 S5: I've realized that God has me in this season for, 389 00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:36,510 S5: you know, my future in him is he knows that 390 00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:39,150 S5: it's greater than anything I may have thought I lost, 391 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:42,030 S5: and I'm just really trying to. And he's training me 392 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:44,510 S5: to appreciate where I'm at and all the things that 393 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,950 S5: I can do in him and to glorify him. 394 00:20:47,869 --> 00:20:51,470 S1: I love what you just said because it doesn't spike 395 00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:56,430 S1: the hard. What it does is it focuses on the 396 00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:59,710 S1: sovereignty that if God has me here and, Lisa, I 397 00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:01,909 S1: want you to respond to that. God has me here 398 00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:04,790 S1: in this situation, whether I've been single all my life 399 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:09,030 S1: or I'm suddenly single. Um, there is a reason. There's 400 00:21:09,030 --> 00:21:12,270 S1: a purpose. There is a plan for me, and I 401 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:16,550 S1: can I can plug into that plan and trust him. 402 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:18,190 S1: Surrender to him. Right. 403 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:20,750 S2: Yeah. You know, the fact that you're saying that. It 404 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:22,910 S2: brings me back to what you said at the beginning 405 00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:23,710 S2: of the show. 406 00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:30,629 S1: Okay, we just lost Lisa. We just lost Lisa. Um, 407 00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:34,230 S1: but we will. We will get Lisa back because I 408 00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:37,430 S1: want to I want to highlight that sovereignty thing not 409 00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:41,190 S1: as a cudgel though, but as a as a way 410 00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:44,710 S1: to draw closer to the heart of God and say, God, 411 00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:47,189 S1: I'm having a struggle here, but I'm going to trust you. 412 00:21:47,190 --> 00:21:49,869 S1: I'm going to believe you. Uh, did you say Lisa 413 00:21:49,869 --> 00:21:53,429 S1: is back now, Lisa, finish what you were going to say. 414 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:55,669 S2: Yeah, I was just saying, you know how you quoted 415 00:21:55,670 --> 00:21:58,710 S2: me at the beginning, Chris, saying like, oh, singleness isn't 416 00:21:58,710 --> 00:22:01,310 S2: a waiting room for marriage. I think the other thing 417 00:22:01,310 --> 00:22:05,590 S2: I often say, um, related to this is the idea 418 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:08,790 S2: of singleness is not the biggest thing about me. And 419 00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:11,750 S2: I think it's a great opportunity for me to say, man, 420 00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:14,750 S2: God has given me purpose in the season I'm in. 421 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,750 S2: Whether that changes and I get married at some point, 422 00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:20,310 S2: or whether I remain single. And what I don't want 423 00:22:20,350 --> 00:22:22,310 S2: to do is get ten years down the road and 424 00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:25,910 S2: look back and regret my time sitting on my hands, 425 00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:29,350 S2: being angry with God, being frustrated that this was not 426 00:22:29,350 --> 00:22:32,200 S2: my story when he has given me a very great 427 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,119 S2: story right where I am right now. 428 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,920 S1: Yes, I love it. Okay, so we've I've got seven 429 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,560 S1: things written down, seven of the ten. And Mark is 430 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,000 S1: going to give us another one because Mark is going 431 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:49,920 S1: to say everybody ought to go listen to the Boundless Podcast. Um, Mark, 432 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,480 S1: what do you say to Lisa? 433 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,440 S6: Well, Lisa, I am 67 years old. I listen virtually 434 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,119 S6: every week, and I really get a lot out of 435 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,440 S6: your show, even though it's for young adults. And I 436 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,639 S6: want to say that one of the things that I 437 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,000 S6: think you do very well as a talk show host 438 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,240 S6: is to step out of the spotlight and let your 439 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,440 S6: guests have the spotlight. You don't hog the microphone, and 440 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,800 S6: I so appreciate your style that way. But I went 441 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,480 S6: totally blind five years ago. I was partially sighted all 442 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:26,320 S6: my life, but I expect I anticipated that I would 443 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:31,680 S6: have suicidal ideations and deep depression, and I haven't had 444 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,840 S6: to battle either one. And I can only say that 445 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,600 S6: I have the peace that passes all understanding. I'm also 446 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,760 S6: a virgin, and I give the Lord the credit for 447 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,080 S6: that too. And I, I want to tell you, Lisa, 448 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:50,439 S6: that as of this is my third year doing this, 449 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,560 S6: I am praying for certain members of your boundless audience, 450 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,560 S6: starting with Thanksgiving and going through New Year's Day, because 451 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,000 S6: some of them are going to face relationship breakups, whether 452 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:06,040 S6: they're broken engagements or broken, you know, dating relationships. And 453 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,360 S6: some of them are going to get very depressed and 454 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:14,240 S6: even suicidal. And my prayers are in the direction of, hey, Lord, 455 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,879 S6: don't let them end their lives. They have so many 456 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:21,040 S6: rich blessings waiting for them as the years go by, 457 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,080 S6: and they shouldn't throw it all away by taking their 458 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:28,000 S6: own lives. And if any, if anyone out there is 459 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,520 S6: thinking about taking your own life. Just throw that poison 460 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,879 S6: down the drain or throw that gun out the window 461 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,959 S6: or whatever you're thinking of doing. Don't do it because 462 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,360 S6: we love you and the Lord loves you. And he 463 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,960 S6: has such a rich life waiting for you. Don't throw 464 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:45,639 S6: it away. 465 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:47,960 S1: Respond to that. Lisa. 466 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,840 S2: Yeah. Mark, thank you so much for your comments and 467 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,320 S2: for being such a faithful part of the boundless family. 468 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,320 S2: That's so cool. Uh, cool for me to hear. And, um, 469 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,760 S2: it is true. I think that's something that's so neat 470 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:04,280 S2: about radio, like Chris's show and podcasts, is that you 471 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,880 S2: can have this sense of community and realize that wherever 472 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,160 S2: you are, however big your church is, whether you have 473 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,679 S2: a big family or not, whether you're struggling even to 474 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,320 S2: make friends, there are others out there who are walking 475 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,480 S2: a similar road to you, and we can encourage one another. 476 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,000 S2: We can pray for one another. We can lift one 477 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,000 S2: another up. I've gone through some things that other people 478 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,410 S2: haven't and I can say, hey, I've been there before you. 479 00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:31,929 S2: You can walk it out and we can trust God together. 480 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:35,930 S1: That's the eighth one is listen to boundless and you 481 00:25:35,930 --> 00:25:41,690 S1: can get a link right there. Chris. Lisa has personal 482 00:25:41,690 --> 00:25:44,649 S1: experience with something that Mark just mentioned. We're going to 483 00:25:44,650 --> 00:26:08,730 S1: talk about that straight ahead on Moody Radio. Lisa Anderson 484 00:26:08,730 --> 00:26:11,130 S1: is joining us. She is director of Boundless and Young 485 00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:14,090 S1: Adults Focus on the family. She is the host of 486 00:26:14,090 --> 00:26:17,850 S1: the Boundless Show podcast, which we just heard about. You 487 00:26:17,850 --> 00:26:20,730 S1: can link to that at Chris Fabry Lives. And we 488 00:26:20,730 --> 00:26:24,570 S1: also have The Dating Manifesto, a drama free plan for 489 00:26:24,570 --> 00:26:28,090 S1: pursuing marriage with purpose as a link as well. Just 490 00:26:28,090 --> 00:26:32,170 S1: click through today's information at Chris Fabry Lives, we're talking 491 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:34,929 S1: about the top ten perks of being single at Christmas. 492 00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:38,889 S1: I have eight and there's a ninth one. I was 493 00:26:38,890 --> 00:26:42,010 S1: telling Lisa in the break that Rosie De Rosette is 494 00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:46,409 S1: a professor of English at Moody Bible Institute, and I 495 00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:48,129 S1: wrote this to her and I knew she would have 496 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:49,689 S1: a good answer. And I want to read this to you. 497 00:26:49,730 --> 00:26:51,610 S1: What's the best that Rosie? What's the best thing about 498 00:26:51,609 --> 00:26:54,929 S1: being single? And she said, I suppose at this stage 499 00:26:54,930 --> 00:26:59,129 S1: of my life, Christmas is a quiet experience with few 500 00:26:59,130 --> 00:27:02,609 S1: of the expectations one has when one is even a 501 00:27:02,609 --> 00:27:07,810 S1: decade younger. As a single. Christmas has become about the essence, 502 00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:13,010 S1: not the circumstances, and the essence is about the spirit. 503 00:27:13,369 --> 00:27:18,290 S1: There is great relief in that and uncomplicated ness that 504 00:27:18,290 --> 00:27:22,570 S1: lets one focus on whatever is given with gratitude for 505 00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:26,810 S1: what is provided. I'm glad for every living family member 506 00:27:26,810 --> 00:27:30,730 S1: I see. For every friend that stops by. There are 507 00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:36,929 S1: more surprises of a tangibly different sort, and she she 508 00:27:36,970 --> 00:27:40,450 S1: wrote that really well, and she thinks deeply about these things. 509 00:27:40,730 --> 00:27:47,810 S1: But that uncomplicated ness. And then the, the quietness that 510 00:27:47,810 --> 00:27:52,609 S1: you can experience as a single. That's very drawing, isn't it? 511 00:27:53,210 --> 00:27:55,290 S2: Yeah. It's like I mean, there's some of that that 512 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:58,570 S2: is just straight up wisdom and experience. You know, it's 513 00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:01,369 S2: not you're not going to hear that maybe from a 514 00:28:01,369 --> 00:28:05,330 S2: 20 something single Chris. So that's where I think we 515 00:28:05,330 --> 00:28:07,410 S2: all need to look to folks who are ahead of 516 00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:09,570 S2: us a few steps, or maybe more than a few 517 00:28:09,570 --> 00:28:12,410 S2: steps and say, man, what have they learned? And what 518 00:28:12,410 --> 00:28:15,330 S2: can I lean into and learn from so that I'm 519 00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:19,290 S2: not grasping and I'm not frantic and I'm not angry 520 00:28:19,410 --> 00:28:23,170 S2: as a result of my current circumstances? Because, man, when 521 00:28:23,170 --> 00:28:25,260 S2: we look back on it all, there's such a new 522 00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:26,540 S2: perspective to things. 523 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:29,260 S1: You should get rosy on the Boundless show. 524 00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:30,460 S7: Yeah. There you go. 525 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:33,740 S1: The podcast. Okay, so you told me before, and I 526 00:28:33,740 --> 00:28:37,179 S1: think in previous conversations you had told me about this, 527 00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:42,140 S1: but every Christmas that comes around, there is something that 528 00:28:42,140 --> 00:28:46,020 S1: you remember, something that you recall. Actually a couple of somethings. 529 00:28:46,020 --> 00:28:46,900 S1: Tell us about that. 530 00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:49,500 S2: Yeah. Well, I was saying I don't know if it's 531 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,580 S2: statistically possible, but I guess it is because it happened 532 00:28:52,580 --> 00:28:57,980 S2: to me that I've actually been dumped twice on Christmas Eve. So, 533 00:28:58,020 --> 00:29:01,740 S2: I mean, is that what, literally on Christmas Eve? So 534 00:29:02,020 --> 00:29:05,940 S2: I just wonder, like, has anyone else experienced that? And 535 00:29:05,940 --> 00:29:08,020 S2: as I talked to single young adults, they're like, oh, 536 00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:11,340 S2: I would never survive that if it happened to me. 537 00:29:11,340 --> 00:29:14,740 S2: But it's something to add to the list, Chris, because 538 00:29:14,780 --> 00:29:19,180 S2: reflectively on that. Now, both of those were some years ago. Now, 539 00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:23,380 S2: every Christmas I think of that and I think here 540 00:29:23,420 --> 00:29:26,580 S2: is an example of something where God, I mean, I 541 00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:28,940 S2: can look back on it with a heart of gratitude 542 00:29:28,940 --> 00:29:32,060 S2: because there was something that God said, this is not 543 00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:34,820 S2: right for you. This is something where I'm going to 544 00:29:34,860 --> 00:29:37,580 S2: turn you. I'm going to pivot because of course, I 545 00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:40,140 S2: thought these relationships were the be all end all I 546 00:29:40,140 --> 00:29:42,580 S2: thought they were going to be. I might marry these guys. 547 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:45,260 S2: And then God said, no. And I can look back 548 00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:48,940 S2: now and just it's another example of God intersecting my 549 00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:52,380 S2: life with his grace and his provision, even when it's 550 00:29:52,380 --> 00:29:55,780 S2: maybe saying no to something, that is something I think 551 00:29:55,780 --> 00:29:58,420 S2: we need to think about a little bit more often. So, 552 00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:01,020 S2: I mean, sometimes it's humorous when I think about it, 553 00:30:01,020 --> 00:30:04,300 S2: sometimes it's a little bittersweet, but all the time it 554 00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:07,860 S2: is me just saying, God, you know, and I don't. 555 00:30:07,860 --> 00:30:11,300 S2: I have an imperfect perspective, and I have to trust 556 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:13,300 S2: that yours is ultimately for my good. 557 00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:17,340 S1: Was this did they do this face to face? Was 558 00:30:17,340 --> 00:30:19,580 S1: it a text? Was it a phone call? How did 559 00:30:19,580 --> 00:30:20,500 S1: this happen? 560 00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:23,700 S2: Yeah. So neither were face to face. One emailed me 561 00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:27,219 S2: and one and I think one texted me and the 562 00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:30,140 S2: reasons were kind of weird too. Like literally one guy 563 00:30:30,140 --> 00:30:33,340 S2: had just found someone else and chose to wait until 564 00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:36,980 S2: Christmas Eve to tell me the other guy actually decided 565 00:30:36,980 --> 00:30:39,340 S2: he had the gift of singleness, and I don't know 566 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:41,900 S2: why that came about at Christmas. Like, couldn't he wait 567 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,740 S2: till January for that? Like, what in the world? So 568 00:30:44,740 --> 00:30:47,300 S2: it was all awkward all around, but it makes for 569 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:48,740 S2: a good story now, I guess. 570 00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:52,020 S1: Well, see. And that's and I think God, you're right. 571 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:54,979 S1: God did protect you. And I'm not. You know, the 572 00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,020 S1: guys were probably how do I do this and they 573 00:30:57,020 --> 00:31:00,940 S1: didn't know and okay I can give grace there. But 574 00:31:00,980 --> 00:31:03,900 S1: if if I were the friend of that guy, you know, 575 00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:06,300 S1: who's going to say, hey, you know, I've been dating 576 00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:08,580 S1: Lisa and I feel like I need to call it off. 577 00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:11,540 S1: For whatever reason. I would come sidle up to him 578 00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:15,260 S1: and I'd say, look, one thing you don't do is 579 00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:19,140 S1: write an email or text her or give her a call, 580 00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:21,590 S1: even a call on the telephone, do this face to 581 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:25,510 S1: face so that she you honor her by. Do you 582 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,990 S1: know what I'm saying? Isn't. And maybe that would have 583 00:31:27,990 --> 00:31:31,590 S1: been more difficult for you to to take in, though. 584 00:31:31,790 --> 00:31:33,990 S2: Yeah. I mean, I think it, you know, again, that's 585 00:31:33,990 --> 00:31:36,790 S2: where we think like, oh, well, this devastate me. Is 586 00:31:36,790 --> 00:31:39,230 S2: this how you know. And that's where it's like the 587 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:42,310 S2: only person that can show up in a meaningful way 588 00:31:42,310 --> 00:31:46,230 S2: in that sense, ultimately is the Lord himself. And so 589 00:31:46,270 --> 00:31:49,510 S2: it was it was my responsibility before God to pour 590 00:31:49,510 --> 00:31:53,510 S2: out my complaint a la the Psalms, and grieve and 591 00:31:53,510 --> 00:31:56,350 S2: go through all the emotions and enter the new year 592 00:31:56,350 --> 00:31:59,390 S2: and hope and pray for something better. And God met 593 00:31:59,390 --> 00:32:01,709 S2: me in that. So that was good. And and again, 594 00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:04,670 S2: you know what he did with those guys. Who knows. 595 00:32:04,710 --> 00:32:07,150 S2: You know. So that's fine. But I think that's where 596 00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:09,590 S2: we have to broaden our perspective to say, what is 597 00:32:09,590 --> 00:32:12,350 S2: God doing here and be ready for his answer. 598 00:32:12,670 --> 00:32:15,270 S1: How long did it take you, though? Because, you know, 599 00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:17,630 S1: this is the top ten. You know great things about 600 00:32:17,630 --> 00:32:20,830 S1: being single, But this, you know, this is one of 601 00:32:20,830 --> 00:32:23,990 S1: those devastating things. So were you over it by Christmas 602 00:32:23,990 --> 00:32:25,670 S1: Day or did it take a while? 603 00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:28,110 S2: No, it took a while. And I don't know if 604 00:32:28,110 --> 00:32:30,830 S2: that's me like a personality thing. Now, one of the 605 00:32:30,830 --> 00:32:33,750 S2: guys I dated for a while and so that was 606 00:32:33,750 --> 00:32:37,070 S2: a little bit harder. One uh, so I would say, 607 00:32:37,110 --> 00:32:40,630 S2: I would say at least several months, Chris, because, because again, 608 00:32:40,670 --> 00:32:43,030 S2: it was it was the death not only of that 609 00:32:43,030 --> 00:32:46,390 S2: particular relationship, but for me, the death of a dream 610 00:32:46,390 --> 00:32:49,030 S2: like the hopes that I'd put in, oh, this is 611 00:32:49,030 --> 00:32:51,670 S2: maybe my marriage story. This is maybe how this is 612 00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:54,350 S2: going to pan out. This may be plans that I'm 613 00:32:54,390 --> 00:32:56,910 S2: going to make in the new year. And then those 614 00:32:56,910 --> 00:33:00,070 S2: were dashed and and I think to the sting of 615 00:33:00,310 --> 00:33:03,910 S2: it being the Christmas season was especially hard. I remember 616 00:33:03,950 --> 00:33:06,710 S2: going home and visiting my family, and I was probably 617 00:33:06,710 --> 00:33:10,270 S2: the worst, you know, holiday guest there for sure. The 618 00:33:10,270 --> 00:33:12,670 S2: whole time I was mopey, I was in a bad way. 619 00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,110 S2: I was talking, you know, and of course, you know, 620 00:33:15,150 --> 00:33:17,190 S2: I had to be very careful about my own heart 621 00:33:17,190 --> 00:33:20,550 S2: because I was trending towards wanting to just bad mouth 622 00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:23,750 S2: these guys and be like, uh, you know, and and again, 623 00:33:23,750 --> 00:33:26,430 S2: looking back on it, it's like, man, God knew. And 624 00:33:26,430 --> 00:33:27,750 S2: I just had to trust him. 625 00:33:28,150 --> 00:33:28,550 S7: Yeah. 626 00:33:30,070 --> 00:33:33,750 S1: And give grace and and and move forward with the 627 00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:37,030 S1: thought that, you know, I was I was spared something 628 00:33:37,030 --> 00:33:42,030 S1: here and but that whole, uh, imagining, you know, the, uh, 629 00:33:42,030 --> 00:33:45,550 S1: imagination that you use, especially with all the holiday movies 630 00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:50,190 S1: and and the Christmas time and the the love blossoms here, 631 00:33:50,190 --> 00:33:53,550 S1: and it's just, you know, this wonderful thing. Um, you 632 00:33:53,550 --> 00:33:56,870 S1: see that as a single, and you feel like you're 633 00:33:57,190 --> 00:33:59,990 S1: left out. And so I know this is the top 634 00:33:59,990 --> 00:34:03,950 S1: ten perks, but how do you deal with that whole, uh, 635 00:34:04,670 --> 00:34:09,069 S1: you know, just the ethos, the atmosphere of romance at Christmas? 636 00:34:09,310 --> 00:34:11,989 S2: Mhm. Yeah. It is tricky because I mean, first of all, 637 00:34:11,989 --> 00:34:15,670 S2: we have, uh, just straight up hallmark. So if you're 638 00:34:15,670 --> 00:34:19,040 S2: not going to wallow in every new movie that comes 639 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,319 S2: out every 12 minutes, you know, churning out with hot 640 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,879 S2: chocolate and snowball fights and all of that, you have 641 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,239 S2: to figure that out and what you're going to do 642 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,200 S2: with that. And then also the barrage of marketing around 643 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:36,040 S2: engagement rings and around holiday specials and gift giving and 644 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,320 S2: all of that. I think for me, it comes down 645 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,520 S2: to one. One piece of advice I always give is 646 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,680 S2: don't let Christmas, especially Christmas because it is so sentimental, 647 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,279 S2: hit you like the flu. You've got to. If you're 648 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,719 S2: in an especially tender spot, you've got to have a 649 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,640 S2: game plan. And so for me, sometimes, especially in the 650 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,800 S2: harder years, I mean every year, but the harder years especially. 651 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,840 S2: What what have I planned with friends, especially finding fellow 652 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,560 S2: single friends who are joyful in their season of singleness 653 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,960 S2: so that that can rub off on me and we 654 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:12,200 S2: can feed on each other's joy in our life circumstances, 655 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,680 S2: in what God's doing in our lives. That's necessary. I 656 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,840 S2: think connecting with my family helps in that way too. 657 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,880 S2: And then, as was said earlier, you know, just finding 658 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,560 S2: other people to serve. For me, that's usually the elderly 659 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,960 S2: because they're my jam. I love my older folks, friends 660 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,680 S2: and neighbors, so I think getting out of myself is 661 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:32,960 S2: helpful in that way, too. 662 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,359 S1: You lost your mom seven years ago. We talked about 663 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,680 S1: your mom every time you'd come on here and the 664 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:42,200 S1: sweaters and, you know, trying to you. This fell over here, 665 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,719 S1: you know, all that kind of stuff. So I think 666 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,600 S1: that's part of why you gravitate toward the older generation. 667 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,480 S1: Because you loved your mom so much, right? 668 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,200 S2: Oh for sure. I think so in general. I think 669 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,480 S2: we all kind of have our little bents. You know, I, 670 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,760 S2: I've grown up with older generations most of my life. 671 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,839 S2: And I think, I mean, I have an especially precious 672 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,600 S2: she now went to be with Jesus just two years ago, 673 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,640 S2: a neighbor who at 97 on Christmas Day went to 674 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,719 S2: be with the Lord. I think she planned it that way. 675 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,240 S2: I'm just like, how did God make that happen? But again, 676 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,600 S2: just memories there and remembering that we've got to invest 677 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,759 S2: in others. Otherwise, you know what? We we have a 678 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,520 S2: gift to give and we've got to be willing to 679 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,040 S2: give it. 680 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,080 S1: Jerry's in Indiana. Jerry, why did you call today? 681 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:30,960 S8: Uh, I wanted to call and share that. You know, 682 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,799 S8: some people think that being single is, uh, tough, you know? 683 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,520 S8: And I remember being there, and God bless me with 684 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,720 S8: my wife and, you know, things that you can do. 685 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,000 S8: And in the holiday season, uh, as a single, I 686 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:50,399 S8: think are take more time, you know, to appreciate Christmas 687 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,399 S8: and and the true meaning and, you know, I know 688 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,560 S8: they talked about serving and you can just do so 689 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,720 S8: much more, you know, because your time is, is yours 690 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,080 S8: to do with how you want. And, you know, when 691 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:07,239 S8: you get married, you know, there's more, uh, responsibilities that 692 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,200 S8: come in, you know, there's, uh, your time is not 693 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,170 S8: just your own, you know, and so in some ways 694 00:37:13,170 --> 00:37:14,850 S8: it can kind of you may not be able to 695 00:37:14,850 --> 00:37:17,890 S8: do as much as you could when you were single. 696 00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:21,810 S8: And I remember me and my wife like I prayed, 697 00:37:21,850 --> 00:37:24,250 S8: you know, and God, God blessed me with her. And 698 00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:29,130 S8: that's my advice to everyone. Pray. Let God send them. Um, 699 00:37:29,570 --> 00:37:32,130 S8: I didn't meet my wife until I was, I think 700 00:37:32,170 --> 00:37:35,930 S8: I think I was 25. And, uh, you know. But 701 00:37:35,930 --> 00:37:37,930 S8: I'm so glad that I waited. And he's blessed me 702 00:37:37,930 --> 00:37:41,730 S8: with a wonderful marriage. And I thank God for it. 703 00:37:41,730 --> 00:37:45,009 S8: And I I've got a relative that, you know, was 704 00:37:45,010 --> 00:37:48,410 S8: going through, uh, being single. And I told him, I said, 705 00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:50,930 S8: you know, there are worse things than being single. And 706 00:37:50,969 --> 00:37:54,890 S8: he unfortunately ended up in a relationship with much worse than, 707 00:37:55,170 --> 00:37:57,649 S8: than that. And, um, you know, so my heart goes 708 00:37:57,650 --> 00:38:00,450 S8: out to him and I remember what it's like, you know, 709 00:38:00,489 --> 00:38:02,810 S8: and I remember thinking, oh, am I going to get married? 710 00:38:02,850 --> 00:38:05,770 S8: Does God have someone for me? And, you know, at 711 00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:08,610 S8: the end of the day, I think we need to 712 00:38:08,650 --> 00:38:12,690 S8: enjoy the season that we're in, you know, like even winter, like, 713 00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:16,850 S8: right now it's cold, it's snowy, you know, but it's 714 00:38:16,850 --> 00:38:18,930 S8: going to get spring. It's going to get summer. It's 715 00:38:18,930 --> 00:38:20,370 S8: going to be hot. We're going to wish it would 716 00:38:20,370 --> 00:38:24,089 S8: cool down. But while we're here, let's build a snowman. 717 00:38:24,290 --> 00:38:27,170 S8: Let's make our snow angel. Let's have our hot cocoa. 718 00:38:27,210 --> 00:38:30,090 S8: Let's do all those things that we do during this 719 00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:33,850 S8: season because spring is coming. But once it's here, you 720 00:38:33,850 --> 00:38:35,489 S8: can't go back to the winter and be like, ah, 721 00:38:35,530 --> 00:38:36,890 S8: I should have built that snowman. 722 00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:38,730 S1: Okay, you bring up. 723 00:38:38,770 --> 00:38:39,450 S8: Where you are. 724 00:38:39,730 --> 00:38:43,450 S1: Live, live fully right here, right now. That's a good 725 00:38:43,450 --> 00:38:45,770 S1: place to take our final break. And when we come back, 726 00:38:45,770 --> 00:38:49,089 S1: I want Lisa Anderson to talk more about that and 727 00:38:49,090 --> 00:38:51,370 S1: some of the things that you can do as a single, 728 00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:54,650 S1: as we give the top ten things to be thankful 729 00:38:54,650 --> 00:38:57,570 S1: for the top ten list that we're doing here, the 730 00:38:57,570 --> 00:39:00,450 S1: perks of being single at Christmas. This is Chris Fabry 731 00:39:00,450 --> 00:39:21,209 S1: live on Moody Radio online Chris Fabry live. We're talking 732 00:39:21,210 --> 00:39:23,530 S1: about the top ten perks of being single at Christmas 733 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:27,090 S1: with Lisa Anderson, author of The Dating Manifesto, a drama 734 00:39:27,090 --> 00:39:31,090 S1: free plan for pursuing marriage with purpose. You can hear 735 00:39:31,090 --> 00:39:35,649 S1: the Boundless Show podcast at boundless. We've got a link 736 00:39:35,690 --> 00:39:39,250 S1: to that at Chris Fabric. Org. Let me run through 737 00:39:39,250 --> 00:39:42,930 S1: these ten. This is as as I have written it down. 738 00:39:43,130 --> 00:39:46,689 S1: The top thing is you can really celebrate the true 739 00:39:46,730 --> 00:39:51,370 S1: meaning of Christmas to travel. Tanya said you don't have 740 00:39:51,370 --> 00:39:54,810 S1: to fight about what parent you go to see. Faith 741 00:39:54,810 --> 00:39:59,170 S1: said extended family time. Rita talked about saving money and 742 00:39:59,170 --> 00:40:02,970 S1: we got into that big fight with Lisa. Lisa said, 743 00:40:02,969 --> 00:40:07,130 S1: you can serve and you don't have to hold back. Uh, 744 00:40:07,130 --> 00:40:10,219 S1: and then we talked about sovereignty. Number seven sovereignty. There 745 00:40:10,260 --> 00:40:12,780 S1: is a purpose and a plan in this whole thing. 746 00:40:13,219 --> 00:40:16,700 S1: And Mark said, listen to boundless. I agree with him. 747 00:40:16,980 --> 00:40:21,100 S1: And then Rosie said, there's an uncomplicated ness, a quietness 748 00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:23,899 S1: about this time that you can lean into. So there 749 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:27,820 S1: are nine and I wrote down choosing what you do 750 00:40:27,820 --> 00:40:30,860 S1: from what our last caller just said you could. You 751 00:40:30,980 --> 00:40:33,420 S1: are able to choose as a single person what you 752 00:40:33,420 --> 00:40:36,460 S1: do rather than having the expectations. But I want to 753 00:40:36,460 --> 00:40:39,580 S1: get your 10th or 11th here. Lisa, what would you say? 754 00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:42,100 S2: Well, it's funny because I hadn't thought of this until 755 00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:45,540 S2: we started having the conversation, and I think this is 756 00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:48,939 S2: something that all the singles can rally around because we 757 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:54,219 S2: are literally at Christmas celebrating the incarnation of the greatest 758 00:40:54,219 --> 00:40:57,980 S2: single who ever lived. So it's in a way, Chris, 759 00:40:58,020 --> 00:41:02,060 S2: this is our holiday. Jesus is our guy. And I mean, 760 00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:05,100 S2: of course, he's gracious enough to love everyone and to 761 00:41:05,140 --> 00:41:08,500 S2: invite everyone and all of that. but he was single 762 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,900 S2: and he was intentionally single. And there's a lot of 763 00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:14,339 S2: theology around that and a lot of what God has 764 00:41:14,340 --> 00:41:16,899 S2: given us in that. But I think that's a special 765 00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:21,700 S2: wink at single adults to say he came in the 766 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:25,780 S2: flesh as a single man and had all the frustrations, 767 00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:30,500 S2: all the temptations, all the sadnesses that we did even 768 00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:34,420 S2: in our singleness. And again, you know, he is victorious 769 00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:36,780 S2: in that, and he is with us in that. And 770 00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:39,819 S2: so it's kind of a singles holiday. I'm going to 771 00:41:39,820 --> 00:41:42,379 S2: claim it for all of us singles. You guys can 772 00:41:42,380 --> 00:41:44,340 S2: fight me on that if you want, but there it is. 773 00:41:44,739 --> 00:41:47,859 S1: I agree, I agree wholeheartedly and look at him and 774 00:41:47,860 --> 00:41:51,180 S1: relationships and there was nothing, you know, John 1010 I 775 00:41:51,180 --> 00:41:55,899 S1: came to give life, bring life, give it abundantly. There 776 00:41:55,900 --> 00:41:59,940 S1: was nothing about his life that was, you know, oh, 777 00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:02,500 S1: this is this is terrible that I have to go 778 00:42:02,500 --> 00:42:05,859 S1: through this. There's joy. There's wine at the at the 779 00:42:05,980 --> 00:42:09,420 S1: wedding party. You know, it's like he lived fully and 780 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:12,420 S1: had these rich relationships and also had a lot of 781 00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:16,379 S1: opposition at the same time. So I totally agree with you. Now, 782 00:42:16,380 --> 00:42:19,740 S1: the email that you sent me, though, you say that 783 00:42:19,739 --> 00:42:22,620 S1: you are talking a little bit about how to gather 784 00:42:22,620 --> 00:42:27,660 S1: generations at the holidays and celebrate. Tell me more about that. 785 00:42:28,020 --> 00:42:30,100 S2: Yeah, so this is something I've been talking about a 786 00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:32,739 S2: lot lately, because I've done a fair amount of research 787 00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:36,899 S2: on the differences between generations. So I'd mentioned in the show, 788 00:42:36,940 --> 00:42:39,140 S2: my dad, you know, my mom's passed away. My dad 789 00:42:39,180 --> 00:42:42,780 S2: has my dad was greatest generation. My mom was a silent. 790 00:42:42,820 --> 00:42:45,819 S2: All of my siblings are boomers. I'm an Xer. And 791 00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:48,780 S2: every day I work with Millennials and Gen Z. So 792 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:54,180 S2: we have got very different communication styles, values, priorities. We 793 00:42:54,180 --> 00:42:57,540 S2: have stereotypes of other generations. So there have been a 794 00:42:57,540 --> 00:43:00,620 S2: couple groups that I've talked to this season. In fact, 795 00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:04,820 S2: whether speaking engagements or whatever, where I've helped them navigate 796 00:43:05,190 --> 00:43:07,510 S2: What does it look like for you to go home? 797 00:43:07,510 --> 00:43:11,190 S2: Whether it's for the holidays, whether it's for other gatherings, 798 00:43:11,230 --> 00:43:15,190 S2: whether it's just everyday life and interact with people of 799 00:43:15,190 --> 00:43:19,350 S2: other generations without losing your mind or every relationship you've 800 00:43:19,350 --> 00:43:23,230 S2: ever had. Because when I talk to older boomers or whoever, 801 00:43:23,270 --> 00:43:26,470 S2: you know, it's always those young kids. They're so entitled 802 00:43:26,469 --> 00:43:28,950 S2: and they're just going to sit there with video games 803 00:43:28,950 --> 00:43:32,230 S2: and on their phones and and I'm like, okay, hold up. 804 00:43:33,030 --> 00:43:35,710 S2: Let's not immediately be doom and gloom about how this 805 00:43:35,710 --> 00:43:38,029 S2: could play out, you know, and then younger adults are like, 806 00:43:38,070 --> 00:43:40,270 S2: you know, again, my I'll go home, but my mom's 807 00:43:40,270 --> 00:43:42,310 S2: just going to give me a guilt trip about why 808 00:43:42,310 --> 00:43:46,109 S2: I'm not married or about why I am married, and 809 00:43:46,110 --> 00:43:48,430 S2: we don't spend enough time with them and all that. 810 00:43:48,430 --> 00:43:50,830 S2: So can we get on the same page and just 811 00:43:50,830 --> 00:43:54,710 S2: have a fruitful, encouraging conversation about how we can do 812 00:43:54,710 --> 00:43:55,430 S2: this better? 813 00:43:55,910 --> 00:43:58,270 S1: You know what I think, and I've been thinking about 814 00:43:58,270 --> 00:44:01,310 S1: this a lot since we had a program about questions 815 00:44:01,310 --> 00:44:04,870 S1: and how life is more If you ask questions of 816 00:44:04,870 --> 00:44:08,350 S1: people and draw them out that you can go deeper, 817 00:44:08,350 --> 00:44:11,750 S1: but it means you got to listen. Having good questions 818 00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:14,549 S1: to ask people and then listening as they talk about 819 00:44:14,550 --> 00:44:18,630 S1: themselves or their lives takes away some of that conflict 820 00:44:18,630 --> 00:44:20,549 S1: that you're just talking about, right? 821 00:44:20,590 --> 00:44:24,670 S2: Yeah. I mean, I am not to totally brag, Chris, 822 00:44:24,670 --> 00:44:28,310 S2: but I am a question ninja. Um, I call it 823 00:44:28,310 --> 00:44:32,069 S2: orchestrated fellowship because I don't trust anyone to have a 824 00:44:32,070 --> 00:44:35,549 S2: good conversation. So I come up with questions and then 825 00:44:35,550 --> 00:44:39,549 S2: I just make people answer them at family gatherings or 826 00:44:39,550 --> 00:44:42,510 S2: at group events or whatever. And it ends up being 827 00:44:42,510 --> 00:44:45,430 S2: so much fun. I did this at a neighborhood gathering, 828 00:44:45,430 --> 00:44:47,950 S2: and I have my neighbors across the street who still 829 00:44:47,950 --> 00:44:50,430 S2: talk about, I mean, you would have thought that I 830 00:44:50,430 --> 00:44:53,750 S2: was some like investigative journalist. They were so amazed that 831 00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:56,750 S2: I was asking them about travel plans. I mean, so 832 00:44:56,790 --> 00:44:59,229 S2: so again, you can win in this area if you're 833 00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:02,670 S2: willing to be present with people, look them in the eye. 834 00:45:02,710 --> 00:45:07,270 S2: Be genuinely interested and just ask interesting things about them 835 00:45:07,270 --> 00:45:10,310 S2: and remember that, and then use it as fodder for 836 00:45:10,310 --> 00:45:12,870 S2: future conversations. I think it goes a long way. 837 00:45:13,230 --> 00:45:15,910 S1: Can you remember any of the questions that you asked, 838 00:45:15,910 --> 00:45:19,510 S1: any any starter question that you that you used? 839 00:45:19,989 --> 00:45:22,149 S2: One of my go to's, it's a two parter where 840 00:45:22,190 --> 00:45:24,629 S2: someone in the somewhere in the world that you'd love 841 00:45:24,630 --> 00:45:27,589 S2: to travel, people find that very easy. And then where 842 00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:30,190 S2: is one place in the world everyone wants to go 843 00:45:30,190 --> 00:45:32,989 S2: and you have no interest in going? That will keep 844 00:45:32,989 --> 00:45:35,710 S2: people talking for 50 minutes at least. 845 00:45:35,750 --> 00:45:39,029 S1: Yeah, that's really good. Oh, and here's the other. Here's 846 00:45:39,030 --> 00:45:42,549 S1: the other, uh, top ten thing to remember about this program. 847 00:45:42,550 --> 00:45:45,589 S1: And that is if you're going to break up with someone, 848 00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:48,830 S1: please don't do it on Christmas Eve. 849 00:45:48,870 --> 00:45:49,509 S2: Amen. 850 00:45:49,710 --> 00:45:54,310 S1: And don't send a text or an email, you know. Um, 851 00:45:54,510 --> 00:45:57,469 S1: but but I digress. Lisa, it's always a joy to 852 00:45:57,469 --> 00:46:00,469 S1: get to talk with you. Thank you for blessing our program, 853 00:46:00,469 --> 00:46:02,759 S1: as you always do here. And you have a very 854 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:03,960 S1: Merry Christmas friend. 855 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,040 S2: Merry Christmas. 856 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:10,440 S1: It's Lisa Anderson. She's written The Dating Manifesto, a drama 857 00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:15,000 S1: free plan for pursuing marriage with purpose. She is also 858 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,080 S1: the host of the Boundless Show podcast that Mark was 859 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:21,200 S1: talking about a little earlier. If you haven't heard it, boy, 860 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,440 S1: how'd he get on over there? We have a link 861 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:27,600 S1: for you for both the book and the website boundless 862 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:35,120 S1: website at. Chris. Chris. We've had a lot of fun 863 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,360 S1: this week, but the fun doesn't stop tomorrow because guess 864 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,600 S1: who's back? The two Michaels, the Bible and Christmas. We're 865 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,240 S1: going to ask some really good questions about the Wise 866 00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:49,160 S1: Men and more. Chris Fabry Lives production of Moody Radio, 867 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,920 S1: a ministry of Moody Bible Institute. Thanks a lot for listening.