S1: We're learning more about choosing to walk in the light
S1: today on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe.
S2: When you become a believer, then I want you to
S2: live like a believer. Walk like a believer. Talk like
S2: a believer. But if you're not a believer, you know
S2: I don't expect you to live that way. He's saying, hey,
S2: now that you are people of God, this is the
S2: expectation that we have for your lifestyle because you are
S2: a follower of Jesus Christ.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president
S1: of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. As we
S1: move forward in our study from the book of Ephesians,
S1: we're going to be turning to chapter five to pick
S1: up on our message titled Choosing to Walk in the light. Yesterday,
S1: Mark emphasized how our desires in our relationships and how
S1: we speak to one another should reflect our new identity
S1: and calling in Christ. And today, pastor Mark will give
S1: us a recap before addressing his second point. If you've
S1: missed any of the messages in this series, catch up
S1: online when you visit us at Bold Steps. But let's
S1: not delay the message any longer with today's bold steps.
S1: Here's Mark Jobe.
S2: There should be not even a hint of sexual activity
S2: outside of the confines of marriage, where we live in
S2: a society that by and large accepts the culture of
S2: friends with benefits. More and more, if you go to
S2: a college campus today, if you go down to UIC,
S2: if you go down to northwestern, every college campus pretty
S2: much here in the US, and you talk to a
S2: college kid that's 22 years old, 21 years old, and
S2: you ask, what is the culture that exists in the campus?
S2: Pretty much the culture is this we can hook up sexually,
S2: even though we may. We're not dating. You know, I
S2: can I can give sexual favors to an individual doesn't
S2: mean I like them. Doesn't mean we're boyfriend girlfriend, doesn't
S2: mean we're dating. We can give each other sexual favors. Why?
S2: Because it feels good. And then we can walk away.
S2: Don't expect a letter. Don't expect that we're together. Don't
S2: expect that we're somehow involved each other. And I can
S2: do that for this person. I can do that for
S2: another person. It's pretty much the one night stands, the
S2: sexual favors pretty much accepted practice ingrained in the mainstream
S2: of our culture at a college level, at a high
S2: school level. And unfortunately, now more and more at a
S2: junior high level. It's the culture. It's accepted. Now what?
S2: Paul Paul understood that and he's not talking to. It's
S2: not like our society is much different than the society
S2: that Paul was talking to. Paul was talking to the
S2: Ephesians in Ephesus. There was a big temple to Diana,
S2: the god of fertility. Part of the practice of the
S2: god of fertility is that there were priestesses in the
S2: temple of Diana, and in order to go and engage
S2: in a sexual experience in the Temple of Diana, people
S2: would get drunk and basically have orgies with the priestesses
S2: of the Temple of Diana. And so sexual immorality and
S2: sexual playing around was rampant in the society that Paul
S2: was talking about as well. So it was counter the
S2: culture for Paul to say, now that you are children
S2: of God, there shouldn't even be a hint of sexual
S2: immorality among you. And in case that wasn't clear enough,
S2: you say, well, I'm not really sure what he means.
S2: I mean, does he mean this? Does he mean that?
S2: Then Paul adds to it. He says, or of any
S2: kind of impurity. Impurity has to do with anything. It's
S2: related to sexuality, but it could have to do with pornography.
S2: It could have to do with fantasizing. It could have
S2: to be with X-rated movies. It could have to be
S2: with it could have to do with the latest, uh,
S2: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. It could have to do with
S2: a lot of issues out there that have to do
S2: with sexuality out there. So not even a hint of
S2: sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. And he says,
S2: or greed. You say, well, what does greed have to
S2: do with it? Well, greed is it's the word covetousness.
S2: Covetousness means I desire something that doesn't belong to me,
S2: that I can't have. But I still want it, even
S2: though it's not legitimate for me to have it. So
S2: you could be greedy towards money or towards things. You
S2: could see someone driving a car that's nicer than your
S2: car and say, man, why does he get to have
S2: that car? I want that car. I should have that car.
S2: And I'm kind of frustrated that he's got it and
S2: I don't. But it could also have to do with, um,
S2: it could have to do with sexuality. It could have
S2: to do with desiring another man's wife or desiring someone
S2: that's illegitimate for you to have. But you desire and
S2: covet something that is illegitimate for you to possess. And
S2: so basically what Paul says is, I know you live
S2: in a culture that is a sex saturated culture. Let's
S2: be honest, that's the culture we live in. We live
S2: in that kind of society. And the fact that people,
S2: the fact that people live together, the fact that people
S2: hook up together, the fact that people have multiple partners
S2: when they're in their 20s or 30s, it's pretty much
S2: just accepted by society. It's just the way it is.
S2: It's just kind of normal, right? Well, God says it
S2: may be normal for the world out there, but hey,
S2: you are the people of God. And it may be
S2: normal for society at large, but because you are children
S2: of God, it's not normal for you because you live
S2: by different standards. You reflect the standards of your Heavenly father.
S2: Listen to what he says. He says, because these are
S2: improper for God's holy people, you're holy. Now, I know
S2: some of you don't consider yourself holy. I taught you before,
S2: though the Bible calls you a saint. Yeah, a saint. Wow.
S2: I thought you had to, like, do a miracle and, like,
S2: live almost perfect to become a saint. Well, Scripture says
S2: if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, you are a saint.
S2: Because the word saint means separate unto God. The word
S2: holy means separated unto God. God is separated you unto
S2: himself for a purpose. So therefore you're holy. And listen,
S2: sexual immorality and all that stuff may be alright in
S2: the world out there, but you're not part of the world.
S2: You're separated unto God. You're a people with a call
S2: upon your life. So therefore your values are different than
S2: the values of the world. Now let me make this clear. Oftentimes,
S2: we as Christians try to apply our Christian morality towards
S2: people that are not yet Christians. And that is absolutely
S2: a wrong way of doing it. He's not talking to
S2: non-believers here. He's talking to believers.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, and today's
S1: message is titled Choosing to Walk in the light. It's
S1: part of our series when you believe everything changes and
S1: we will continue the message in a moment. But Mark
S1: has joined me here and I want to share a
S1: letter with you, Mark, that we received from a listener.
S1: Dear pastor Mark, I listen to your program every day
S1: while I'm out driving for work, and I love the
S1: messages and the way you deliver them. I thank you
S1: for that. We have been attending our church for almost
S1: four years now. We absolutely love it. My enthusiasm has
S1: been challenged to an extreme degree. However, we completely fell
S1: in love with our pastor. His wife attends there also.
S1: She has a consistent way of making us feel unwelcome.
S1: She isn't very friendly and it shows in her face,
S1: in her body expressions. Her husband, the lead pastor, is
S1: a very loving, warm person. I'm really struggling with this,
S1: so much so that I always hope she doesn't come
S1: to the service we attend. I think it's an unacceptable
S1: way for anyone to act more so. The wife of
S1: the lead pastor. I pray about this a lot for
S1: God to help me ease my heart about this and
S1: let go of the feelings I get because of her.
S1: What can you suggest I do? I appreciate your time.
S1: Thank you.
S3: Well, hey, I appreciate you.
S2: Being.
S3: Honest about this challenge and this difficulty. Let me just
S3: say a couple of things about this, because I know
S3: that sometimes you go to church and you may get
S3: along with the pastor, but have a challenge with one
S3: of the pastor's members of their family, or the wife
S3: in particular. That's difficult. Let me say to all the
S3: pastors wives out there, you have one of the most
S3: difficult jobs around.
S1: I knew that was coming.
S3: You know, my my wife has, uh, been beside me
S3: in ministry for over 30 years, and she leads a
S3: group of about 35 pastors wives. They get together biweekly,
S3: meet in small groups. And I want to just say,
S3: first of all, I would encourage you to extend grace
S3: to the pastor's wife. Everyone's wired a little bit different,
S3: and there's a lot of expectations we place on pastors wives.
S3: You know, she's a follower of Jesus, and maybe you're
S3: not going to click with her personality. And I want
S3: to say, that's all right. Uh, you don't have to
S3: be best friends with the pastor's wife. Uh, but I
S3: would say grant or grace, God has to work on
S3: her own life. And maybe she's going through some stuff
S3: right now that's causing her to be a little bit
S3: on edge. Or maybe you don't quite connect with her
S3: the way you connect with the pastor. But I would
S3: pray for her. I would, when you can give her
S3: a word of encouragement. And, um, I would slow down
S3: in talking with her right now until you get to
S3: know her, maybe a little bit better, and just ask
S3: that God would empower her with joy. That if she's
S3: going through a hard time, that God would just give
S3: her a sense of contentment. And most importantly, I would say,
S3: do not fixate on her while you go to church.
S3: Do not let that be a hindrance. And I would
S3: say that about anybody in the church. Uh, do not
S3: let it be a hindrance for your worship of God,
S3: and pray that God would give you a special love
S3: for them. Pray blessing upon them, and ask that God
S3: would just allow you to worship God freely and understand
S3: even the people around you that may be going through
S3: a difficult time. Keep going to that church, keep ministering,
S3: keep growing, and keep praying for the pastor's wife.
S1: I think that's great advice. Mark. Thank you so much.
S1: And if you are listening today and you've got your
S1: own question you'd like to share with Mark, we'd love
S1: to hear it. You can connect with us online at
S1: Bold Steps. Org or you can also call us and
S1: leave a message on a recorded line. And that number
S1: is (312) 329-2011. Write that down 312329 2011. And of course,
S1: you're always welcome to drop us an email. Bold steps
S1: at Moody's. All right. Thank you. Mark. Let's get back
S1: to your message now titled Choosing to Walk in the light.
S2: Let me tell you what I don't do. If I'm
S2: at a soccer match with my boys or playing soccer,
S2: running to some neighbors, and I find out that they
S2: are living together and not married, I don't go. And
S2: hold on a second. You're living together. No, I don't
S2: do that. I don't say no. You shouldn't be living together.
S2: You know that, right? Because that is totally, totally wrong.
S2: And I know because I'm a pastor. I don't say that.
S2: I don't, I don't say, where's the ring? I don't say,
S2: what's your mother think about that? I don't say anything
S2: about their lifestyle. You know why? I don't expect the
S2: non-Christian to live like a Christian. I don't expect someone
S2: that doesn't have the Spirit of God inside of them
S2: to behave and act like someone that has the Spirit
S2: of God inside of him. If someone's a pagan, they're
S2: a pagan. I expect them to behave like a pagan,
S2: act like a pagan, walk like a pagan, talk like
S2: a pagan, and and behave like what they have inside.
S2: If they don't have the Spirit of God, some of
S2: us try to make our non-believer friends try to live
S2: like believers when they're not. I don't say, well, you know,
S2: you shouldn't talk that way or you shouldn't swear like that.
S2: I don't, I don't I don't indict their language. I
S2: don't like their their lifestyle. You know what my goal is?
S2: When I talk to them, I think to myself, they
S2: need to know Jesus. And my goal is if we
S2: get to talk about spiritual things, my goal is to
S2: introduce them to Jesus. I want them to know Jesus.
S2: I want them to experience the life of God. I
S2: want them to know that there is another way, that
S2: there is someone that can fill their life and take
S2: away their void, that there's someone that can adopt them
S2: and wash their past and give them a new identity
S2: and a new future, and the power of the Holy
S2: Spirit inside of them. That's what I want them to know.
S2: That's what I want them to be. And once they
S2: are believers now, now that they're believers, I want to
S2: challenge them to live like believers. Do you know how
S2: many young men I have put my arm around in
S2: this church? After they became believers and were living with
S2: their girlfriend, and I put my arm around and say, bro,
S2: bless you man. Glad you're living for Jesus now. Now
S2: when are you going to marry her? I don't do
S2: that before. They're. They're believers. Why? I don't expect them
S2: to live like believers. But once they're children of God,
S2: once they are believers in walking in God, then I'm
S2: going to say, hey, it's time. And normally when they're
S2: new believers, they say, well, yeah, we've been thinking about
S2: it for a while. It's just we haven't gotten around
S2: to it. I want to save up money for a ring. And,
S2: you know, it's taken us a while. We want to
S2: get the apartment together. You know, we're just kind of
S2: working on that. And so I say, great. All right, well,
S2: until you get married, you know, here's the thing. The
S2: Bible says that sex is out. Usually it's in. Okay. Pastor,
S2: when can we do this? Like, as fast as possible.
S2: You see, when you become a believer, then I want
S2: you to live like a believer. Walk like a believer,
S2: talk like a believer. But. But if you're not a believer,
S2: you know I don't expect you to live that way.
S2: This passage is talking to people of God. He's saying, hey,
S2: now that you are people of God, this is the
S2: expectation that we have for your lifestyle because you are
S2: a follower of Jesus Christ. Verse four. Now if you
S2: think that some of you are saying, hey, I'm off
S2: the hook then pastor, because I would never cross lines,
S2: I would never touch another woman. I would never do that.
S2: I would never cross the line. I like to sort
S2: of joke around and talk about it, tell a few
S2: dirty jokes here and there. But you know what? I
S2: you know, there's no harm in that. But you know what?
S2: I wouldn't cross any lines. Okay. let me talk to
S2: you then. Verse four. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk,
S2: or coarse jesting. This is all talking about sexually charged, uh,
S2: joking innuendos. Uh, this is talking about the sexual bantering
S2: that goes on around the water cooler at work. And,
S2: you know, hey, what about this? And how was this? And,
S2: you know, the the the talk that is sexually charged
S2: and you know it, the bantering, the flirtation that goes
S2: back and forth that you view to be harmless but
S2: really is inappropriate for you as a child of God.
S2: It goes down to the locker room talk, where guys
S2: are bragging about what they did on the weekend and
S2: how it went and how long it went, and how
S2: they enjoyed it. And you should have seen them. And
S2: they're not going to mention any names, but man, they
S2: go on all that stuff. It goes to the to
S2: the gestures and the words that we use that are
S2: charged with with sexual crassness as we talk. It goes
S2: to the off color jokes that we tell. And hey, hey,
S2: listen to this one. Have you heard this one? Everybody
S2: gathers around and you're sort of looped into it, and
S2: everybody laughs, and you don't want to seem like a
S2: little prune there. So you laugh too. And then you figure,
S2: I got to add my joke in there. So you
S2: add your joke in there. Listen, it goes to that,
S2: that all that talking because out of the abundance of
S2: the heart, the mouth speaketh. And when God what God
S2: is saying, if you are my children, if you belong
S2: to me, listen, first of all, there shouldn't be a
S2: hint of sexual immorality. But secondly, your mouth should not
S2: be going down that road. Why? Because he says this
S2: is out of place for you as people of God. Why?
S2: Because your people of God. And if you want to
S2: do anything with your mouth, give thanks Instead of this
S2: kind of stuff, he says, but rather Thanksgiving. Why you
S2: say it's so ingrained in our culture? Listen, some of
S2: you have lived in it so long, you've talked about
S2: it so much. It's been such a part of what
S2: you do that to actually stop using certain words that
S2: are crude and crass and actually stop saying certain jokes,
S2: that it's just a real struggle for you to realize
S2: how that's inappropriate for me as a man of God,
S2: to really be going down that road. Hello. I told you,
S2: I'm going to step on some toes here. Why? Because
S2: you are men and women of God. And there shouldn't
S2: be even a hint of it among you, he says.
S2: And then he goes on. If you didn't think that
S2: was bad enough. Notice what he says in the following verses.
S2: He speaks to our destiny. To the second point that
S2: I'm making, I'm talking about what it means to imitate
S2: God and live as children of light. If you're taking notes,
S2: write this down destiny. You cannot live habitually. That means
S2: on a regular basis, as a habit forming basis, you
S2: cannot live habitually inconsistent with who you are because ultimately
S2: what you value will shape your life. Listen to what
S2: he says in verse five. For this you can be sure.
S2: He's almost like sounding a warning and saying, hey, you
S2: want to know how serious this is? Let me tell
S2: you how serious this is. Look at what he says.
S2: Look up at me. This is huge. No immoral person.
S2: That's someone that singles that are having sex with one another.
S2: Someone's having adultery on the side. Someone that's consistently engaging
S2: in sexual, sexual behavior outside of marriage, knowing moral person
S2: or impure. Someone that's consistently in pornography, Biography X rated stuff,
S2: getting involved in that kind of stuff, part of your life,
S2: fantasies and so forth, or greedy individuals. Someone that's coveting
S2: that which is not their own and pursuing that which
S2: is not their own. No immoral, impure or greedy person
S2: has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
S2: Let me tell you what he's saying and what he's
S2: not saying. You could read this at one glance. Why
S2: is this so serious? First of all, he says, because
S2: such a man is an idolater. What's an idolater? You say, well,
S2: I thought an idolater was someone that worshipped idols. Exactly. Now,
S2: when we say an idolater, you have in your mind
S2: someone in Africa bowing to a totem pole and worshiping
S2: that totem pole as though it were God. That is idolatry.
S2: But do you realize that there's other idols that we
S2: bow to that don't have to do with an image
S2: or a pole or a statue, but that there's other
S2: idols that we make, gods in our life, and these
S2: gods run our life and dictate our life and have
S2: control over our life. And sometimes it's the God of
S2: sexual addiction or sexual promiscuity, where my life revolves around
S2: this sexual activity and that runs my life, I can't
S2: say no to it. I fall into it over and over.
S2: I engage in it. And although I want to be
S2: a follower of Christ, I do not give up that
S2: or impurity, the same thing, or greed or covetousness. Listen,
S2: anything in your life that controls your life, anything in
S2: your life that's bigger than God in your life has
S2: just become your new God.
S1: You're listening to the Bible teaching of Mark job. We're
S1: in a series called When You Believe Everything Changes. And
S1: if you've missed any of the messages so far, you
S1: can catch up online by visiting Bold steps.org on our website.
S1: You can also get a copy of our latest Bold
S1: Step gift. It's a hard hitting book from another great pastor,
S1: Mike Fabares. You know, Mark, there's very often in our
S1: lives a problem we don't know exists, but when we
S1: are made aware of it, it's something we need to
S1: deal with. It's sin, isn't it?
S3: That's right. And it's called envy. We don't often talk
S3: about it. People don't like to admit they have it.
S3: But Wayne, what I've realized is that especially with this generation,
S3: there's a constant comparison, especially through social media. Think about it.
S3: They've talked about the mental health effects of anxiety, depression.
S3: But oftentimes because we're constantly comparing ourselves, young girls are
S3: looking at images of beautiful, thin models and feeling like
S3: that's me and what can I do? I wish I
S3: was that we call them influencers. And so I think
S3: it's had a huge effect on people's lives.
S1: Well, let's talk with pastor Mike Fabares about it. He's
S1: written a book called envy a Big Problem you didn't
S1: know you had, pastor Mike, you want to react to
S1: what Mark has said?
S4: Yes. I think social media has done something for us
S4: in our generation that's had a lot of, uh, unexpected
S4: negative effects on us. One is getting a window into
S4: people's best, right? They're always posting the best night out
S4: that they've had with their spouse, or the best summer vacation,
S4: or they're looking the best in their Easter photos. And
S4: we didn't used to have that unless we were sharing
S4: photos with our best friends. But now we're sitting there
S4: voyeuristically sometimes looking at other people's lives and wondering why
S4: everyone's life is better than our own. And that is
S4: a problem. And sometimes it motivates our lives. I think
S4: of Ecclesiastes, and this is a passage that most people
S4: don't ever even come across or think about. But it says,
S4: Here's Solomon saying, I saw so much toil and skill
S4: in people's work that came from a man's envy of
S4: his neighbor. And I think to myself, sometimes we never
S4: at peace with what we have. We never enjoy what
S4: we have because we're always looking at other people on
S4: social media thinking, well, I've got to keep working until
S4: I can achieve that. And there's so many problems with
S4: that analogy in terms of how we're viewing life. It's
S4: not it's not reality. But we have to get to
S4: the place where we say, you know, this envy is
S4: stealing my contentment. It's stealing my joy. It's making me
S4: want things I don't have. Instead of really enjoying the
S4: things that God has given me. It is a thief
S4: and it will steal our contentment.
S1: Well, Mark, we're happy that the scriptures an antidote for
S1: this issue of envy. And Mike brings that out clearly
S1: in his book envy, which is our bold step gift
S1: right now.
S3: It really is. And so if you're really struggling with
S3: contentment and find yourself just despising what you have or
S3: unhappy with who you are, your circumstances, the root problem
S3: may just be envy. We'd love to put this book
S3: into your hands, written by pastor Mike Fabares.
S1: Request your copy of this bold step gift when you
S1: give a gift of any amount to support bold steps.
S1: Just give us a call at 800 Moody or give
S1: online at Bold Steps Corporation, or send your gift and
S1: request Pastor Mike's book envy by writing to us in
S1: the mail. Simply address a letter to Bold Steps, 820
S1: North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 606 ten. Thank you for
S1: your generous support. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Thanks for your time today.
S1: Be sure to come back tomorrow when Mark concludes his
S1: message on choosing to walk in the light. This message
S1: is from our series. When you believe, everything changes and
S1: you'll hear it Thursday right here on Bold Steps with
S1: Mark Joe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio,
S1: a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.