S1: Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio.
S1: This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S2: We're running. Come on. Running, running. I love that song.
S3: Anyone else love that? Yeah. That is. That's Bob Seger band. Man,
S3: I mean, that's. What was that? What was that tune?
S3: Bob Seger. What did he do? What's that song that
S3: sounded like it?
S2: He did several.
S3: Oh, come on, what's the Bob Seger Band song that
S3: sounds like.
S2: That.
S3: One? Holiday nights or Hollywood nights?
S4: That's one of them Hollywood nights.
S3: Yeah, Hollywood nights sounds so much like it. Crank up
S3: a little Bob Seger. I'm going to prove it to
S3: you right now. Hollywood nights.
S2: Hollywood nights.
S3: Yeah, the words are great words.
S2: Bob Seger.
S3: Bob Seger.
S2: Bob Seger.
S5: I've heard the name.
S2: Is that a.
S3: Oh, I've heard the name.
S4: I'm gonna go rest now.
S3: Oh, boy.
S2: Give some context clues.
S3: Well, he's a rock and roller.
S2: That's all I can say. From what? What era?
S3: Way back.
S2: In the.
S3: 70s. 80s, right.
S4: Yeah. Very iconic American rock. Classic rock, dude.
S5: Before I play this, it's it's okay. We're good.
S2: So, yeah.
S4: I.
S3: I'm pretty sure we're good.
S2: Is there anything sketchy in there? No, I think we're.
S3: I think we're good.
S5: I've got the delayed hits.
S3: Give us, give us Hollywood life. Here we go. See?
S2: Doesn't that sound like it? Yeah, it.
S5: Sounds like 70s. 80s?
S2: Yeah.
S3: See? Right there.
S5: That's. That's very 70s. 80s feel. That's nice.
S2: Yeah.
S3: Well, that's. We got enough of it.
S5: We're good.
S2: All right.
S3: That's the. That's the jam right there.
S2: Yeah. That is definitely definitely.
S6: Hear the similarity.
S4: That old time rock and roll. Remember that song made
S4: famous in Risky Business?
S2: I mean.
S3: Okay, got a question for you to kick off this hour.
S3: The question is, what is that little thing in life
S3: that changes everything for you. Come on. What's that little
S3: thing that changes everything? I got a new workout water mug. Ooh,
S3: I love this.
S5: Ooh, that's a good one.
S3: Just push that button and thing flips up. It's so cool.
S3: I love to show people. It is the coolest water
S3: thing going. Okay, no chemicals in the water.
S5: There you go. None of.
S3: That stuff.
S2: I get pumped.
S6: Getting new office supplies.
S5: What?
S2: I mean, like.
S3: See.
S2: You get.
S6: Some new pens and you just, like, what can I write?
S3: By the way, I got the best pen going. I
S3: got this Sharpie. It's this kind of bronze colored Sharpie. Yeah,
S3: but it's a pen. And this thing, the rollerball on it.
S3: I'm so with you, Ali.
S5: You're so funny about pen highlighters.
S6: Like, if you get highlight.
S4: Books in school.
S2: Oh, yeah, I loved it. Yes. Like back to school
S2: when you had all those new school supplies. Right. And
S2: you got to organize them. And then you have the
S2: little pencil case, and you put that thing out, and
S2: it was it was just fun.
S5: Carl's just holding up highlighters.
S2: Well, new office supplies are fun. He's with me on that.
S3: Yeah. So this is the highlighter?
S5: Yes.
S3: That you have to have for highlight in your Bible.
S2: I love that.
S3: One. Isn't this one?
S2: It's a gel highlighter. You put me on to that
S2: I love them I went and got some. Well not
S2: went Amazon went and got me some. Shipped it to
S2: my door.
S3: Mr.. Mr.. Pen sleek highlighter.
S2: They're great because they don't bleed through the page.
S3: Through it all. Man, sometimes when you highlight a Bible,
S3: you're highlighting four pages at one time.
S2: Yes.
S3: Not with Mr. Pen Sleek. Mr. Pen Sleek is a gel.
S3: It'll stay on one side of the page. What's so funny?
S3: Young thunder. This is.
S5: A. This is an unpaid ad.
S2: Okay. What's your little thing, Jonathan?
S5: I don't.
S2: Know. My little thing.
S5: Is I don't well, I don't I mean, let me think.
S2: I didn't say chick fil A either.
S5: Well, no, it's not a little thing, and I don't
S5: get that every day. Uh, I would say question.
S3: Have you ever cleaned off your daughter's binky with your
S3: own mouth?
S5: No.
S3: Okay.
S5: Just curious. Why would I do that? That sounds disgusting.
S5: Why would I do that?
S3: Some parents do that. I've done.
S5: That.
S3: I won't do it with my granddaughter.
S5: No way would I ever do that. Uh, okay. I
S5: don't know, day planner for me. Uh, okay. A workout watch, though.
S5: I think those two things are little.
S3: Yeah, yeah, those are good.
S5: Those can change the aspect of my day, for sure.
S3: All right, tee it up. Come on. Phones are broken here.
S3: They're working on.
S2: Them. But text.
S3: Messages.
S2: Phones are.
S3: Work. Text messages work.
S2: We want to hear from you. What's that one little
S2: thing that makes a big impact on your day? Is
S2: it office supplies? Is it a day planner? Is it
S2: a chick fil A breakfast sandwich? What's the little thing
S2: that changes your day in a big way? 805 55 7898.
S2: Text only. Unfortunately, our phone lines are down. 800 555 7898.
S3: Come on, light em up, man. Give us your life
S3: hacks here. I don't know his chick Fil-a account is
S3: a little thing.
S2: That changes everything. Throwing out suggestions, possible options to get
S2: the ball rolling.
S5: It could, well, a cup of coffee, I'm sure people.
S5: You know.
S2: I think a lot of people say that.
S4: So I want a chicken biscuit. Be a little thing
S4: to somebody.
S3: 800 you need. Plop, plop fizz fizz right behind it.
S2: 555 (789) 880-0555 7898.
S5: Oh, boy.
S3: I love gang tackling young thunder. I don't know why.
S5: Hey, you can do it all you want. I'm not
S5: gonna stop eating it, so I'll.
S3: Just keep going. Five, five, 78, 98 I'm cutting you off.
S3: We can't be endorsing Chick-Fil-A too much, okay? We do
S3: it all the time around here.
S5: Unpaid for. By the way.
S3: Yeah. What's that little thing that changes everything? Come on,
S3: text us Eight. Nine. Eight. Now there's method to this madness.
S3: We'll tell you about it.
S1: She was trying to earn her way to God, but
S1: God showed her she didn't have to. Ali is in
S1: the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S3: What's that little thing that changes everything? Boy, we got
S3: somebody sold out on Mr. Penn. Somebody in Nashville, Mr. Penn. Chisel.
S3: Seven color aesthetic highlighters for my Bible and other books
S3: is now in my Amazon cart.
S2: Yes. Uh oh.
S3: We're moving product Jeff Bezos. Send us some residuals right here.
S3: All right. What do we got here, Ali? A lot
S3: of feedback.
S2: Yeah. A variety of little things that change your day. Nine. Three. Two. Three.
S2: Says a hug from my daughter. Being on my knees
S2: in prayer first thing in the morning. My dog not
S2: waking up before I want to get out of bed
S2: listening to my kindergartner say the Lord's Prayer. Morning prayer
S2: with coffee. Uh. Love that. My husband bringing me my
S2: cup of coffee in the morning.
S3: Oh, that's a good man.
S2: That is. Waking up to my radio alarm and hearing WNBA. Oh, thanks.
S2: Praise and prayer. God's promises. Dutch brothers. Iced coffee. Heated
S2: seats when it's cold. Nine, eight, eight says stretching in
S2: a quick workout first thing in the morning. Starbucks with
S2: whipped cream. Yummy new sticky notes. Okay, a delicious cup
S2: of French pressed coffee. We've got lots of votes for coffee.
S3: French press coffee.
S7: Is so good.
S2: What do you think?
S3: Takes time, but it's good. Oh, I don't know if
S3: coffee is still coffee with whipped cream on top or
S3: if that zeros it out. I'm still contemplating that one.
S4: Makes it a dessert.
S3: Yeah. I mean, some of these coffees that people get,
S3: all they are is liquid chocolate cake, maybe. I mean,
S3: it's something else.
S4: My son loves them and I'm like, oh my goodness,
S4: sugar overload.
S2: So sweet.
S3: They're pumping stuff in there that you don't know what's
S3: going on? Looks like a rat experiment. All right. You
S3: got anything else in there, Allie?
S2: No new music equipment for worship. Serrano peppers with my food. Serrano. Wow.
S2: A video chat with my two and a half year
S2: old grandson. Awesome. 50. 72. My husband reads aloud Jesus
S2: calling for the day, and we look up accompanying scriptures
S2: and discuss and pray. Take 7 to 10 minutes. Such
S2: a blessing.
S3: That is powerhouse right there. That's powerhouse. Okay, coming up here.
S3: The Word of God is clear. It's the little things
S3: that change everything. And one in particular is so profoundly
S3: spot on. If you've ever been out on the water
S3: with a boat, you'll get it. Hang on.
S1: You can take him out of Alaska, but you can't
S1: take Alaska out of him. Carl is in the crew.
S1: It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
S3: Sometimes you take things for granted. Some things are below
S3: the waterline of life. It's kind of the unseen things
S3: that matter most. I'm big on that principle, guys. It's
S3: when you think, throw this in for free. When you
S3: hide God's Word in your heart, the ability that you
S3: have to not miss the mark with God increases exponentially.
S3: That's the promise of God's Word. There's 50 promises related
S3: to the Word of God in Psalm 119 alone. 50
S3: promises with regard to the word, and it's amazing. Check
S3: it out. But it's usually the unseen things that matter most,
S3: and it's the little things in life that can really
S3: move the dial. I think we we think of people
S3: with great, uh, sports prowess or great skills in business. Uh,
S3: I get blown away by listening to Warren Buffett and
S3: some of these guys. If you really listen to these
S3: guys that have done it in finance or business or
S3: my own two adult kids at the at the tech startup,
S3: they would tell you right now, it's the little stuff
S3: that moves the dial almost more than the big stuff, guys.
S3: It's the little stuff. And Ali gave us a good
S3: example of this great daughter. She and Ali's daughter is
S3: a phenomenal basketball player and a great three point shooter.
S3: And I get a little bit like I go dad
S3: mode sometimes. She's not even my kid. But I'm like, get, get,
S3: get her the ball. If she's sinking threes, it might
S3: be good to keep giving her the ball. Carl, you
S3: poor Ali and Henry. I'm blowing up their text one
S3: day watching the game and I'm like, get her the ball,
S3: get her the ball.
S5: It's so funny.
S3: But she wasn't always shooting threes really well. And little
S3: things mattered don't they.
S2: Yeah. My husband has worked with her since she first
S2: really started to show an interest in playing, and he
S2: wanted to really build her shot from the ground up.
S2: And so she would she was a good natural shooter,
S2: but she developed some bad habits. And so one in particular,
S2: I remember she had a thumb flick. You don't realize
S2: how much of the impact when you're shooting a basketball
S2: that your thumb has. So she would kind of flick
S2: her thumb forward, which would cause the ball to not
S2: spin straight, which could cause it to go off just
S2: enough to make it not go in the basket. And
S2: so my husband got her this glove that would keep
S2: her hand sort of stationary, like with all of you,
S2: picture holding your hand out in front of you, with
S2: all of your fingers spread as wide as you can,
S2: and then sort of making mirroring that shape of the ball.
S2: So her thumb physically couldn't do that little flick thing.
S2: So she had to learn how to shoot without flicking
S2: her thumb, or he would sometimes take her and make
S2: her wear latex gloves so that she could work on
S2: catching and gripping the ball. Even with like, the the
S2: resistance of the glove. All these little things that he
S2: would do that would be sort of odd at the time.
S2: But over time it really started, started to build a
S2: consistency and an ability to really maintain really good form,
S2: even when the in the game action where there's lots
S2: of things happening. So those little adjustments made such a
S2: big difference.
S3: That's life, man. And it's beautiful. And we find James
S3: saying this. So if you've ever sailed you got a
S3: I don't know, you got a little trimaran, you got
S3: a day dinghy. You've got I don't care what you have,
S3: I don't care if you got a little dinky sailboat
S3: like I had when I was like 15, 16 years old.
S3: I don't care what it is or a humongous ship.
S3: It's an astounding thing to watch these things at dry dock.
S3: And you go, that moves that, hold it a second,
S3: that moves all of that. And what is it? It's
S3: a rudder. Listen to what we find in the book
S3: of James. Take it away.
S2: James three, starting with verse three. If we put bits
S2: into the into the mouths of horses so that they
S2: obey us. We guide their whole bodies as well. Look
S2: at the ships also, though they are so large and
S2: are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a
S2: very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.
S2: So also the tongue is a small member, yet it
S2: boasts of great things.
S3: The power of the tongue is one of the most
S3: underestimated and underutilized resources we have. Some people go through
S3: this life thinking I'm pretty powerless. That is not true.
S3: If you have been given a tongue, you have power.
S3: Isn't that what the scriptures say?
S2: Yes. And the fact that it's compared to a bit
S2: in the mouth of the horse, and a rudder on
S2: a ship as far as the size of it compared
S2: to the relative impact.
S3: It's it's staggering. And it's it's a powerful truth that
S3: we need to leverage in life and in marriages. We're
S3: talking today.
S5: Absolutely. Well, I mean, you've seen how how sometimes negative
S5: or positive the the words of someone else can literally
S5: direct a life trajectory that people say, well, I do
S5: this because this person said this about me and I
S5: want to prove them wrong, or because I think they're
S5: kind of right about me. And I lived that that
S5: lie out in my life and in my actions or
S5: vice versa. When you build someone up, sometimes the trajectory
S5: of their whole life changes because you gave them a
S5: correct view of themselves. And so in our marriages, it's
S5: so important because that's your partner, that's the person that
S5: you said, I am in this life, in this walk
S5: of discipleship with you the whole way through. And how
S5: we speak to them is so important.
S3: Yeah. I'm the one of the most powerful statements ever
S3: spoken to me was from my dad. And this is
S3: how powerful it was. I'm at the start of the
S3: Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race. Dogs are lunging in their harnesses.
S3: I've got 13 huskies, well trained, ready to go right
S3: in front of me, and I'm ready to pull the
S3: snow hook, which is the emergency brake. And dad says,
S3: hold on a second, I want to pray with you.
S3: And I got something to say. We bowed our heads.
S3: I wasn't a follower of Jesus, but isn't it funny
S3: when you're looking at 1100 miles in front of you?
S3: Prayer doesn't seem like a bad idea.
S5: Absolutely not.
S3: So I bowed my head with my dad. My dad
S3: yelling a prayer because the noise of the huskies assembled
S3: on that lake in the hustle and bustle of people
S3: running around snow machines. It was just loud. And he's
S3: bellowing to God, God be with my boy! And at
S3: the end of that prayer, he said, Amen. And then
S3: he looked at me and he said, now there's a
S3: lot of discussion about whether or not you're up for this.
S3: And I've heard what some of these mushers on this
S3: lake are saying about you going to die out there.
S3: Let me tell you what I'm needing you to know, son.
S3: I've already bought my plane ticket to Nome, Alaska. I'll
S3: see you when you get there.
S2: That was the finish line, right?
S3: Nome was the finish. I bought my ticket to Nome, Alaska.
S3: I'll see you when you get there. You know how
S3: powerful those words were for me. So powerful they were.
S3: I made it to no. 21 days, eight hours, 12
S3: minutes and 32 seconds. Are you ready for a wild one, guys?
S3: It wasn't until two years after the Iditarod was over
S3: that it ever dawned on me I might not make it.
S5: Wow.
S3: Never even dawned on me.
S5: And it's crazy because you had some very life threatening
S5: situations on that race.
S2: Yeah. You were 18 years old.
S3: And I was 18, and. But it. How powerful were
S3: dad's words?
S5: So powerful.
S2: I mean, his belief in you.
S3: Yeah, yeah. I bought my ticket. I'll see you when
S3: you get there.
S5: That's amazing.
S3: Come on.
S2: Powerful.
S3: So, does the tongue have power? Yes. In marriage? Yes.
S3: Raising kids. Yeah. And you know what? We need to
S3: get a little more disciplined at is catching people winning
S3: and telling them. Or forecasting. You got this. It's powerful. Also,
S3: we've all experienced that.
S2: To express gratitude. Yeah, I noticed that you did this.
S2: Thanks for doing this.
S3: It's powerful man. What if the whole boom crew, the
S3: many thousands of you listening right now? We just locked
S3: hearts together and said, okay, today we are going to
S3: use this small thing called the. Tongue to wield great
S3: power in the lives of people. And I'm not talking about.
S3: Dreaming up stuff that doesn't exist. I'm talking about catching people.
S3: Winning and telling them. Having had a history where they've
S3: someone in your life. Has done something really sweet for
S3: you and going, you know what? I'm going to. Text
S3: them and say thank you. I don't tell you enough,
S3: I appreciate you. Wow. How much would that change the
S3: landscape of of our terra firma that we're. Walking today,
S3: it would be huge. So who is it you need
S3: to reach out to today? And just say thank you.
S3: This thing, fill in the blank that you've done is. Powerhouse, guys.
S3: The power of the tongue. And in marriage. Woof! Woof!
S3: Take time. Find her. Find him. Speak a word.
S1: He's a sports fanatic with a stat for anything you
S1: can think of. Young Thunder is in the crew. It's
S1: curl and crew on Moody Radio.
S3: Well, you love your spouse, but do you like them?
S3: That's a question.
S2: I think we all have moments.
S3: If we're honest, we're like, boy, I love you, but
S3: I'm not sure I like you.
S2: And if we're honest, I appreciate you loving me because
S2: I know I'm not very likable right now.
S5: Yeah, okay. That's a good point.
S3: That is a really good point.
S2: Sometimes, you know, you're not likable. We've all been I
S2: know I've been really cranky this week. I've been short tempered.
S2: And I'm sorry I've not been easy to like this week.
S3: Yeah. And she's just confessing that to the team here this.
S2: Morning.
S3: That was coming.
S4: You knew I knew it.
S3: You knew.
S2: It.
S3: Oh, Allie's a trooper. She's never a bit of a
S3: challenge around here.
S2: Never. Of course. Never. Haha.
S3: Coming up here, we've got a treat for you, don't we, Allie?
S2: We do. Arlene. It's national marriage week. You want to
S2: like your spouse more? Have fun in your marriage. She's
S2: all about it. She'll tell us how to do it.
S2: Coming up.
S1: She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her.
S1: Super di is in the crew. It's Karl and crew
S1: on Moody Radio.
S3: Well, we talk about love in marriage. We're talking marriage
S3: all week long. Somebody went out there and said, we
S3: want to sell hallmark cards. So we'll call this marriage week.
S2: Wait. Hopefully it's a little bit more than that.
S3: I think it's more than that, for sure. And we
S3: should have more than marriage. We should have marriage morning,
S3: noon and dinnertime. But, you know, it's interesting, Ali, we
S3: talk about a lot about love in marriage? Yes, but
S3: we don't often talk about liking the person that we're loving.
S2: Yes. And oftentimes people will say, if not outright, they'll
S2: imply it. I mean, I love her or him. I'm committed, but.
S3: I'm.
S2: Committed. I just don't like them very much.
S3: Oh, Arlene, can we fuel the fires of, like. You
S3: know what's funny about love is that it usually starts with, like,
S3: in love, then builds, and then sometimes, like, can fade,
S3: and that's no joke, is it?
S8: Arlene, that is no joke. I love this question and
S8: like it as well. So. And you're exactly right. Because
S8: you liked this person. Why? You found the same things
S8: funny you like, did things together, you had activities together.
S8: You understood each other. You took time for each other.
S8: They listened to you, and you're like, wow, I really
S8: like this person. And after you marry, you kind of
S8: stop doing some of those behaviors because you're like, why
S8: do I have to listen to you? I have, like,
S8: so like, so many things to do. Why do I
S8: have to do? Like, why do I have to like
S8: football now? I've already done my. I've already gone to
S8: the games. I don't need to like that anymore. Why
S8: do I have to watch you go shopping? This is awful.
S8: Just shop by yourself. So all the things that we
S8: used to do when we liked each other, it's like,
S8: I don't have to do that now because we love
S8: each other. We're in a committed relationship. So a lot
S8: of the. And believe me, this James and I have
S8: been married for 26 years, and there are many times
S8: where I've thought, you know, like, well, I don't like
S8: you very much right now, right. And why in that moment,
S8: in my feeling that way, he either like he disagrees
S8: with me, he's asking me to do something that I
S8: do not want to do, you know, and I really
S8: like what thing has helped me is when I think
S8: to myself, well, I don't like you very much. I
S8: think to myself, he's probably also thinking, well, I don't
S8: like her very much. And it it just helps me
S8: realize that we're both like annoying one another, that we
S8: are both falling short of the like, meter, you know?
S8: So just realize that we are not always perfect either
S8: as the listener. And then I think it is going back,
S8: like you asked, how do you stoke the like again?
S8: And that's an important question and making in my book
S8: Making Marriage Easier. The fourth decision is to take fun
S8: seriously because we think it's just this extra. But the
S8: way you start to like them again is you have
S8: fun again together. Like you laugh and you see a
S8: movie together, or you eat popcorn late at night and
S8: get it all over the couch and you're like, oh, you.
S8: You know what I mean? Like you're doing things that
S8: make you enjoy each other again. So look for those
S8: activities with your spouse and things you can do together,
S8: maybe a vacation place to dream about together and it
S8: will help stoke the like.
S2: We've got Arlene Pelikan with us this morning, spokesperson for
S2: National Marriage Week and author of the new book Making
S2: Marriage Easier. You mentioned a decision. What are the four
S2: decisions that have helped you and your husband, James, remain
S2: happily married for and liking and loving each other for
S2: 26 years.
S8: That's right. Decision number one is to play by the rules.
S8: So don't follow your feelings. Just like there are rules
S8: in sports. You know there are boundaries. You've got to
S8: have those in marriage and pre-decide what you will and
S8: what you won't do. What's cool? What's not cool. Decision
S8: number two is give thanks every day. When you met
S8: your spouse, you were super thankful to God and you
S8: just have to keep that heart of thanksgiving. God, I
S8: thank you. I thank you for the challenge my marriage
S8: is in. I thank you for the good place. My
S8: marriage is in a decision. Number three, real popular is
S8: serve your spouse. And it is this idea that instead
S8: of saying, what are you going to do for me today?
S8: You know, you go into the day thinking, hey, how
S8: can I help you? How can I serve you today?
S8: And if you go in like that, wow. The whole
S8: atmosphere of the home changes and decision four we've touched
S8: on earlier is to take fun seriously that it's time
S8: to be playful again. The same things that brought you together,
S8: the fun. That's what helps keep you together really well.
S3: I had an epiphany, uh, a couple of days ago.
S3: It was like God showed up. I'm walking down a
S3: sidewalk with my bride in Chicago, and she went, boom, boom.
S3: Two of the most profound observations, one about the church
S3: where I am pastoring. And she's right there with me,
S3: and one about life in general. And I was like, boom!
S3: And I stopped and I, we were walking. I said,
S3: that is profound. She said, you're joking. You poking fun
S3: at me? I said, no, take it at face value.
S3: What you just said was so profound. How did I
S3: get there? I'm going to let you in. How did
S3: I get to the point where I heard my wife
S3: and go? I like what she's saying. How did that happen?
S8: You made space for it, right? You two were together.
S8: You were alone. It sounds like you didn't have all
S8: these kids in tow. Or, you know, people all around
S8: you and you're walking. And actually, I think when you're
S8: walking side by side, you things happen, like in your
S8: brain as you're moving all those things. It's it's good.
S8: So I think, you know, make room for walks. Like,
S8: why is it that we always in movies, they fall
S8: in love when they're walking, right? They're like walking and
S8: they're talking and they're like, right? And they're like, wow,
S8: I love this person. So seriously, like, that's such fast, easy,
S8: cheap way to date each other. Again, it's like, hey,
S8: let's walk around the block. Hey, let's go walk around
S8: the lake. Let's go walk around whatever. So make space, walk.
S8: And then it sounded like you were ready to listen, right?
S8: You weren't like you weren't the one doing all the
S8: talking so that your wife couldn't get a word in edgewise.
S8: There was a back and forth there.
S3: Yeah, that appreciation thing isn't that cool, Ali.
S2: It really is. I love that, and I love that
S2: you shared that moment with your with your bride.
S3: Yeah, it was sweet.
S2: We've got Arlene Pelikan with us this morning. Coming up.
S2: Let's go back to this fun aspect because that's something
S2: that many couples struggle with their committed. Maybe this is you.
S2: You're committed. You're not going anywhere. Your spouse isn't going
S2: anywhere but fun. That does not describe your day to
S2: day life in marriage. How do we fix that? Coming up.
S1: You're listening to Curl and Crew on Moody Radio.
S2: So you want to have more fun in marriage? Does
S2: that seem like an impossibility? Arlene Pelikan with us right now,
S2: author of Making Marriage Easier How to Love and Like
S2: Your Spouse for life. Fun is one of the decisions
S2: that we have to take seriously. I'm going to have
S2: fun with this person who I've committed my life to.
S2: I'm not going to just tolerate them until we one
S2: of us dies. I mean, that sounds dramatic, but many
S2: people live like that. How do you begin to bring
S2: the fun back into marriage?
S8: Yeah, you find the opportunities and look for it be like,
S8: I need something fun to do and really look. So
S8: my husband is kind of out of the box crazy.
S8: And our kids, when they were little, everyone had to
S8: do the same activity, the three kids. So it was
S8: going to be martial arts. And he comes home and
S8: he's like, I found a found a studio where the
S8: three of them can go. We can go for free. Well, what? What?
S8: Parrot wants to go, right? Like especially a mom. So
S8: the five of us go to the kids studio and
S8: they're all, like, three, four feet tall. And then, like,
S8: James and I, and we were like, yes, let's do this.
S8: So we all have these matching blue dragon shirts with
S8: dragons in our belts and our pants. And the first day,
S8: like we do jiu jitsu, and my head is in
S8: my husband's legs for a triangle and I'm like, there
S8: is just no way. But we stuck it out. We
S8: did that like 2 to 3 times a week for
S8: like four years, and it was hilarious. Like, I never
S8: got good at it. My husband would talk in class
S8: and get in trouble and the sons would be like, Mr. James,
S8: please be quiet. I mean, it was so funny. So
S8: as we look back on that, you know, sparring the
S8: first time, they put the big chest gear on me
S8: and I have the big dot on my chest, and
S8: I say to James, don't hit me. And he's like, what? Like,
S8: that's the whole point is you're my sparring partner, and
S8: I'm supposed to hit you. So it was built in fun.
S8: So when you have kids in that stage, many times
S8: you just think, oh, I'm just going to watch their fun. Like,
S8: they do stuff and we just sit in the sidelines
S8: and watch it, but get stubborn and be like, no,
S8: I'm going to have fun too. And you don't have
S8: to join the sport, let's say. But you do have
S8: to join something like find something you can do that
S8: is fun or funny. Like, it's not that I enjoyed
S8: it so much, but it was funny. So you find
S8: the funny and then like when you're later, like, let's
S8: say you're an empty nester and it's like, oh, all
S8: the excitement is gone. I remember my husband, he's a realtor,
S8: and he threw like an ice skating party for his clients.
S8: And I couldn't believe it. There were like 70, 80
S8: year olds, like, out on the ice, right? And I
S8: was like, wow, kudos. Good on them. Like, I can
S8: barely get on the ice. And I just showed me
S8: at whatever age you're at, like, go and say, oh,
S8: there's an opportunity for fun. Like, I will go do that.
S8: And I think that really, really helps.
S3: I love it. Arlene is our guest, by the way.
S3: We're going to have a link for a resource that
S3: you're going to want to get because some of you
S3: just need to you've been focused on and I don't
S3: want to poo poo this because love is a verb.
S3: It's we're called to do it, to love one another
S3: big time. Mutual submission found in the book of Ephesians.
S3: Very clear for a healthy marriage. But liking is that.
S3: The funny thing about liking is that you start off,
S3: I don't know. I've I've married off over 100 couples.
S3: I've never met one of these couples that didn't like
S3: each other.
S8: That's right.
S3: I mean, you start liking actually love grows because it's
S3: so sacrificial and it's hard work. But that liking thing
S3: is fundamental because it's out of that liking where loving is,
S3: is cultivated. What do you tell a guy? Because I
S3: got a friend of mine. He hates shopping with his wife.
S3: I said, dude, I've turned it into a consulting thing.
S3: I'm just a consultant. If she says no, we aren't
S3: getting that. I go, all right, I'm going to go
S3: down the next aisle and look for some more stuff.
S3: But how do you turn the I don't like into?
S3: All right. I can stomach this. How do you do that?
S8: Yes, I think switching it like I don't like shopping,
S8: but I do. Like you. Can you imagine if your
S8: husband said that I don't like shopping. But I do
S8: like you. And I'll hang out with you all day. Right.
S8: That would be like. Wow. And then it makes the
S8: wife like, wow. My husband loves me so much and
S8: likes me so much and I feel like a nice
S8: wife would be. Then let me try to get this
S8: done faster, because you're being really nice to me. So
S8: just the idea, like, if you like it, I'll try it.
S8: And even if I don't really like it, I want
S8: to spend time with you. So just turn it into
S8: a game in your mind that it's not about shopping,
S8: it's about making your wife feel loved. And then I know,
S8: like my father in law, he would always bring a book.
S8: Like he would just be like, okay, great. You go
S8: over there. I will sit here for ten minutes and
S8: read my book and I will be so happy.
S3: Okay, I got a confession on those lines and this
S3: will help someone. So I am quick out the door.
S3: My wife is not so quick. She's not like super slow,
S3: but it takes her a little more time and I
S3: used to get so irritated. I mean, I would lose
S3: my mind. I'm like, okay, we're ready.
S9: Let's go, let's go.
S3: And you know what the Lord told me? Knock it off.
S3: You got stuff to do. And it was really fun
S3: for me to go. Hey, when you're ready, I'm here
S3: for you. And you know what? When I made an
S3: emotional shift from quit focusing on. She's not as ready
S3: as quickly as you are to just do something with
S3: your time. You've got things you can get done. Man.
S3: It shifts, and then the like button goes off. Yeah.
S3: What do you say, Arlene?
S8: I love that it's just asking, like, is this really,
S8: really important? And be like, you know what? If she's
S8: five minutes behind me, that's not really, really, really that important.
S8: And you're right. So I will do something with my
S8: own time. And isn't it funny? It takes us time
S8: to figure that out. So if there's something that you're
S8: just like my word, I'm so annoyed. I. You know,
S8: I've written these books like Screen Kids with Gary Chapman.
S8: And I remember when Doctor Chapman would be like, she
S8: would just not close the Close the cabinet doors and
S8: it would just drive me crazy. She'd leave all these
S8: drawers open everywhere. And when he made the shift. You
S8: know what? I'm just going to close them. It, like,
S8: changed everything that it was like. It diffused the whole thing.
S8: So just ask, is this, like a really important thing
S8: that I'm bugged about? And if it's not, then it's like,
S8: you know what, let me adjust to this thing and
S8: let's move on.
S3: Yeah, I this is hilarious, but I recommend armor all wipes.
S3: No joking. I get in my car, honest to goodness.
S3: I'll get in my car and instead of wigging out
S3: and I don't do that anymore, I'm like, I'm going
S3: to armor all the dash until she gets out of here.
S3: And I'll detail this sucker in no, I'm telling it
S3: may sound crazy, but it helps. It's it's a total
S3: perspective shift. And then my bride used to say, oh,
S3: I'm I'm sorry. I'm sorry for. And no problem. Look
S3: at the dash. Look how good that looks.
S10: Look how good it looks all the time. It's a
S10: good thing you need those minutes, because look at that dash. Yeah.
S4: Oh, boy.
S2: Arlene Pelicans spokesperson for National Marriage Week. In these closing minutes,
S2: just give us a word on National Marriage Week. There's
S2: resources available. There's some live virtual events for people to
S2: participate in with their spouse. Tell us about it.
S8: This is brand new this year. It's amazing. Every day
S8: there is a free live stream about a different point
S8: in your marriage. So if you have trouble with your
S8: family of origin or with conflict or with physical intimacy,
S8: there's something there for you. So you're going to see
S8: Bill and Pam Farrell and Jim Burns and Doctor Willard
S8: Harley and all sorts of people sign up. It's free
S8: and it's there for you.
S2: Well, we've got the details for you. Just text marriage
S2: to 800 555 7898. Text marriage to 800 555 7888.
S2: You're going to get the link to that Marriage Week
S2: website and the link to Arlene's book, Making Marriage Easier.
S2: Text marriage to (800) 555-7898.