WEBVTT - The Little Things That Change Everything in Marriage 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.320 Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio. 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:08.039 This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:12.120 We're running. Come on. Running, running. I love that song. 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:16.680 Anyone else love that? Yeah. That is. That's Bob Seger band. Man, 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:18.840 I mean, that's. What was that? What was that tune? 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:21.200 Bob Seger. What did he do? What's that song that 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:22.160 sounded like it? 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:23.160 He did several. 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:26.239 Oh, come on, what's the Bob Seger Band song that 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:27.000 sounds like. 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:27.280 That. 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:32.040 One? Holiday nights or Hollywood nights? 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:33.280 That's one of them Hollywood nights. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.720 Yeah, Hollywood nights sounds so much like it. Crank up 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:39.239 a little Bob Seger. I'm going to prove it to 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:40.640 you right now. Hollywood nights. 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:41.919 Hollywood nights. 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:43.360 Yeah, the words are great words. 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:44.080 Bob Seger. 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:45.760 Bob Seger. 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:46.800 Bob Seger. 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:47.839 I've heard the name. 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:48.840 Is that a. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:49.880 Oh, I've heard the name. 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.080 I'm gonna go rest now. 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:52.760 Oh, boy. 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:54.600 Give some context clues. 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:55.880 Well, he's a rock and roller. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:57.840 That's all I can say. From what? What era? 0:00:58.600 --> 0:00:59.120 Way back. 0:01:00.260 --> 0:01:00.460 In the. 0:01:01.540 --> 0:01:02.540 70s. 80s, right. 0:01:03.340 --> 0:01:06.700 Yeah. Very iconic American rock. Classic rock, dude. 0:01:06.740 --> 0:01:09.700 Before I play this, it's it's okay. We're good. 0:01:09.740 --> 0:01:10.700 So, yeah. 0:01:10.740 --> 0:01:11.500 I. 0:01:11.540 --> 0:01:12.300 I'm pretty sure we're good. 0:01:12.340 --> 0:01:15.420 Is there anything sketchy in there? No, I think we're. 0:01:15.420 --> 0:01:16.100 I think we're good. 0:01:16.140 --> 0:01:17.380 I've got the delayed hits. 0:01:17.420 --> 0:01:20.620 Give us, give us Hollywood life. Here we go. See? 0:01:21.900 --> 0:01:23.620 Doesn't that sound like it? Yeah, it. 0:01:23.819 --> 0:01:25.060 Sounds like 70s. 80s? 0:01:31.819 --> 0:01:32.339 Yeah. 0:01:32.740 --> 0:01:33.540 See? Right there. 0:01:34.540 --> 0:01:36.979 That's. That's very 70s. 80s feel. That's nice. 0:01:37.020 --> 0:01:37.179 Yeah. 0:01:37.180 --> 0:01:39.020 Well, that's. We got enough of it. 0:01:39.060 --> 0:01:39.500 We're good. 0:01:39.540 --> 0:01:39.860 All right. 0:01:40.220 --> 0:01:42.140 That's the. That's the jam right there. 0:01:42.260 --> 0:01:45.179 Yeah. That is definitely definitely. 0:01:45.180 --> 0:01:46.220 Hear the similarity. 0:01:46.220 --> 0:01:49.060 That old time rock and roll. Remember that song made 0:01:49.060 --> 0:01:50.460 famous in Risky Business? 0:01:51.380 --> 0:01:51.740 I mean. 0:01:51.740 --> 0:01:54.220 Okay, got a question for you to kick off this hour. 0:01:54.940 --> 0:01:59.260 The question is, what is that little thing in life 0:01:59.470 --> 0:02:04.270 that changes everything for you. Come on. What's that little 0:02:04.270 --> 0:02:09.150 thing that changes everything? I got a new workout water mug. Ooh, 0:02:09.190 --> 0:02:09.750 I love this. 0:02:09.870 --> 0:02:10.549 Ooh, that's a good one. 0:02:10.590 --> 0:02:13.430 Just push that button and thing flips up. It's so cool. 0:02:13.430 --> 0:02:17.510 I love to show people. It is the coolest water 0:02:17.550 --> 0:02:20.630 thing going. Okay, no chemicals in the water. 0:02:20.669 --> 0:02:21.630 There you go. None of. 0:02:21.630 --> 0:02:22.350 That stuff. 0:02:22.669 --> 0:02:23.630 I get pumped. 0:02:23.669 --> 0:02:25.310 Getting new office supplies. 0:02:25.750 --> 0:02:26.150 What? 0:02:26.310 --> 0:02:26.869 I mean, like. 0:02:27.070 --> 0:02:27.470 See. 0:02:27.510 --> 0:02:27.790 You get. 0:02:27.790 --> 0:02:32.790 Some new pens and you just, like, what can I write? 0:02:34.590 --> 0:02:37.590 By the way, I got the best pen going. I 0:02:37.590 --> 0:02:43.310 got this Sharpie. It's this kind of bronze colored Sharpie. Yeah, 0:02:43.310 --> 0:02:47.030 but it's a pen. And this thing, the rollerball on it. 0:02:47.030 --> 0:02:48.429 I'm so with you, Ali. 0:02:49.030 --> 0:02:51.669 You're so funny about pen highlighters. 0:02:51.710 --> 0:02:52.950 Like, if you get highlight. 0:02:52.950 --> 0:02:54.109 Books in school. 0:02:54.430 --> 0:02:56.869 Oh, yeah, I loved it. Yes. Like back to school 0:02:56.870 --> 0:02:59.450 when you had all those new school supplies. Right. And 0:02:59.450 --> 0:03:01.410 you got to organize them. And then you have the 0:03:01.410 --> 0:03:04.329 little pencil case, and you put that thing out, and 0:03:04.370 --> 0:03:05.850 it was it was just fun. 0:03:05.970 --> 0:03:07.609 Carl's just holding up highlighters. 0:03:08.010 --> 0:03:10.650 Well, new office supplies are fun. He's with me on that. 0:03:11.169 --> 0:03:14.010 Yeah. So this is the highlighter? 0:03:14.330 --> 0:03:14.610 Yes. 0:03:14.650 --> 0:03:16.730 That you have to have for highlight in your Bible. 0:03:16.770 --> 0:03:17.250 I love that. 0:03:17.250 --> 0:03:18.970 One. Isn't this one? 0:03:19.010 --> 0:03:21.530 It's a gel highlighter. You put me on to that 0:03:21.530 --> 0:03:23.970 I love them I went and got some. Well not 0:03:24.010 --> 0:03:26.730 went Amazon went and got me some. Shipped it to 0:03:26.730 --> 0:03:27.010 my door. 0:03:27.090 --> 0:03:31.609 Mr.. Mr.. Pen sleek highlighter. 0:03:31.650 --> 0:03:35.170 They're great because they don't bleed through the page. 0:03:35.250 --> 0:03:38.010 Through it all. Man, sometimes when you highlight a Bible, 0:03:38.010 --> 0:03:40.410 you're highlighting four pages at one time. 0:03:40.450 --> 0:03:40.890 Yes. 0:03:40.930 --> 0:03:45.330 Not with Mr. Pen Sleek. Mr. Pen Sleek is a gel. 0:03:45.410 --> 0:03:47.610 It'll stay on one side of the page. What's so funny? 0:03:47.650 --> 0:03:48.650 Young thunder. This is. 0:03:48.690 --> 0:03:50.610 A. This is an unpaid ad. 0:03:50.650 --> 0:03:52.369 Okay. What's your little thing, Jonathan? 0:03:52.450 --> 0:03:52.730 I don't. 0:03:52.730 --> 0:03:53.690 Know. My little thing. 0:03:53.850 --> 0:03:56.650 Is I don't well, I don't I mean, let me think. 0:03:56.930 --> 0:03:58.420 I didn't say chick fil A either. 0:03:58.540 --> 0:04:00.420 Well, no, it's not a little thing, and I don't 0:04:00.420 --> 0:04:03.420 get that every day. Uh, I would say question. 0:04:03.420 --> 0:04:05.500 Have you ever cleaned off your daughter's binky with your 0:04:05.500 --> 0:04:06.060 own mouth? 0:04:06.980 --> 0:04:07.300 No. 0:04:07.780 --> 0:04:08.020 Okay. 0:04:08.020 --> 0:04:10.540 Just curious. Why would I do that? That sounds disgusting. 0:04:10.540 --> 0:04:11.700 Why would I do that? 0:04:11.740 --> 0:04:13.580 Some parents do that. I've done. 0:04:13.580 --> 0:04:14.060 That. 0:04:15.060 --> 0:04:16.380 I won't do it with my granddaughter. 0:04:16.500 --> 0:04:18.620 No way would I ever do that. Uh, okay. I 0:04:18.620 --> 0:04:22.979 don't know, day planner for me. Uh, okay. A workout watch, though. 0:04:23.020 --> 0:04:24.659 I think those two things are little. 0:04:24.700 --> 0:04:26.100 Yeah, yeah, those are good. 0:04:26.140 --> 0:04:28.500 Those can change the aspect of my day, for sure. 0:04:29.140 --> 0:04:31.980 All right, tee it up. Come on. Phones are broken here. 0:04:32.140 --> 0:04:32.860 They're working on. 0:04:32.860 --> 0:04:33.659 Them. But text. 0:04:33.660 --> 0:04:34.020 Messages. 0:04:34.020 --> 0:04:34.380 Phones are. 0:04:34.380 --> 0:04:36.500 Work. Text messages work. 0:04:37.779 --> 0:04:40.620 We want to hear from you. What's that one little 0:04:40.620 --> 0:04:44.300 thing that makes a big impact on your day? Is 0:04:44.300 --> 0:04:46.940 it office supplies? Is it a day planner? Is it 0:04:46.940 --> 0:04:49.739 a chick fil A breakfast sandwich? What's the little thing 0:04:49.740 --> 0:04:55.500 that changes your day in a big way? 805 55 7898. 0:04:55.540 --> 0:05:02.200 Text only. Unfortunately, our phone lines are down. 800 555 7898. 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:04.559 Come on, light em up, man. Give us your life 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:07.320 hacks here. I don't know his chick Fil-a account is 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:07.880 a little thing. 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:12.039 That changes everything. Throwing out suggestions, possible options to get 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.080 the ball rolling. 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.560 It could, well, a cup of coffee, I'm sure people. 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:16.159 You know. 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.039 I think a lot of people say that. 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:20.600 So I want a chicken biscuit. Be a little thing 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:21.320 to somebody. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:25.000 800 you need. Plop, plop fizz fizz right behind it. 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:30.320 555 (789) 880-0555 7898. 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:32.760 Oh, boy. 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.840 I love gang tackling young thunder. I don't know why. 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:37.600 Hey, you can do it all you want. I'm not 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.479 gonna stop eating it, so I'll. 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:43.640 Just keep going. Five, five, 78, 98 I'm cutting you off. 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:47.080 We can't be endorsing Chick-Fil-A too much, okay? We do 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:48.000 it all the time around here. 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:49.200 Unpaid for. By the way. 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.599 Yeah. What's that little thing that changes everything? Come on, 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:59.060 text us Eight. Nine. Eight. Now there's method to this madness. 0:05:59.180 --> 0:06:00.099 We'll tell you about it. 0:06:00.500 --> 0:06:03.140 She was trying to earn her way to God, but 0:06:03.140 --> 0:06:06.539 God showed her she didn't have to. Ali is in 0:06:06.540 --> 0:06:09.900 the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:06:10.460 --> 0:06:13.060 What's that little thing that changes everything? Boy, we got 0:06:13.060 --> 0:06:18.339 somebody sold out on Mr. Penn. Somebody in Nashville, Mr. Penn. Chisel. 0:06:18.380 --> 0:06:22.740 Seven color aesthetic highlighters for my Bible and other books 0:06:22.740 --> 0:06:25.340 is now in my Amazon cart. 0:06:25.380 --> 0:06:27.740 Yes. Uh oh. 0:06:27.779 --> 0:06:31.380 We're moving product Jeff Bezos. Send us some residuals right here. 0:06:31.420 --> 0:06:32.940 All right. What do we got here, Ali? A lot 0:06:32.940 --> 0:06:33.580 of feedback. 0:06:33.620 --> 0:06:37.779 Yeah. A variety of little things that change your day. Nine. Three. Two. Three. 0:06:37.820 --> 0:06:41.300 Says a hug from my daughter. Being on my knees 0:06:41.300 --> 0:06:44.380 in prayer first thing in the morning. My dog not 0:06:44.420 --> 0:06:46.500 waking up before I want to get out of bed 0:06:47.660 --> 0:06:51.500 listening to my kindergartner say the Lord's Prayer. Morning prayer 0:06:51.620 --> 0:06:55.349 with coffee. Uh. Love that. My husband bringing me my 0:06:55.350 --> 0:06:56.669 cup of coffee in the morning. 0:06:56.910 --> 0:06:57.950 Oh, that's a good man. 0:06:58.550 --> 0:07:03.029 That is. Waking up to my radio alarm and hearing WNBA. Oh, thanks. 0:07:03.390 --> 0:07:08.670 Praise and prayer. God's promises. Dutch brothers. Iced coffee. Heated 0:07:08.670 --> 0:07:12.590 seats when it's cold. Nine, eight, eight says stretching in 0:07:12.590 --> 0:07:16.070 a quick workout first thing in the morning. Starbucks with 0:07:16.070 --> 0:07:21.670 whipped cream. Yummy new sticky notes. Okay, a delicious cup 0:07:21.670 --> 0:07:24.630 of French pressed coffee. We've got lots of votes for coffee. 0:07:24.710 --> 0:07:26.230 French press coffee. 0:07:26.270 --> 0:07:27.230 Is so good. 0:07:27.510 --> 0:07:28.070 What do you think? 0:07:28.110 --> 0:07:31.190 Takes time, but it's good. Oh, I don't know if 0:07:31.190 --> 0:07:33.670 coffee is still coffee with whipped cream on top or 0:07:33.670 --> 0:07:36.910 if that zeros it out. I'm still contemplating that one. 0:07:36.950 --> 0:07:38.030 Makes it a dessert. 0:07:38.790 --> 0:07:41.790 Yeah. I mean, some of these coffees that people get, 0:07:42.110 --> 0:07:45.870 all they are is liquid chocolate cake, maybe. I mean, 0:07:45.870 --> 0:07:46.710 it's something else. 0:07:46.710 --> 0:07:49.430 My son loves them and I'm like, oh my goodness, 0:07:49.550 --> 0:07:50.390 sugar overload. 0:07:50.390 --> 0:07:50.989 So sweet. 0:07:50.990 --> 0:07:53.470 They're pumping stuff in there that you don't know what's 0:07:53.470 --> 0:07:56.330 going on? Looks like a rat experiment. All right. You 0:07:56.330 --> 0:07:57.530 got anything else in there, Allie? 0:07:57.690 --> 0:08:05.370 No new music equipment for worship. Serrano peppers with my food. Serrano. Wow. 0:08:06.250 --> 0:08:08.170 A video chat with my two and a half year 0:08:08.210 --> 0:08:14.010 old grandson. Awesome. 50. 72. My husband reads aloud Jesus 0:08:14.010 --> 0:08:16.810 calling for the day, and we look up accompanying scriptures 0:08:16.810 --> 0:08:19.690 and discuss and pray. Take 7 to 10 minutes. Such 0:08:19.690 --> 0:08:20.290 a blessing. 0:08:21.210 --> 0:08:25.610 That is powerhouse right there. That's powerhouse. Okay, coming up here. 0:08:26.330 --> 0:08:28.610 The Word of God is clear. It's the little things 0:08:28.610 --> 0:08:33.849 that change everything. And one in particular is so profoundly 0:08:33.850 --> 0:08:37.050 spot on. If you've ever been out on the water 0:08:37.050 --> 0:08:39.610 with a boat, you'll get it. Hang on. 0:08:40.410 --> 0:08:43.089 You can take him out of Alaska, but you can't 0:08:43.170 --> 0:08:46.930 take Alaska out of him. Carl is in the crew. 0:08:47.250 --> 0:08:49.689 It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:08:50.170 --> 0:08:55.300 Sometimes you take things for granted. Some things are below 0:08:55.300 --> 0:08:59.060 the waterline of life. It's kind of the unseen things 0:08:59.059 --> 0:09:02.180 that matter most. I'm big on that principle, guys. It's 0:09:02.179 --> 0:09:05.340 when you think, throw this in for free. When you 0:09:05.380 --> 0:09:08.980 hide God's Word in your heart, the ability that you 0:09:08.980 --> 0:09:12.940 have to not miss the mark with God increases exponentially. 0:09:13.020 --> 0:09:16.380 That's the promise of God's Word. There's 50 promises related 0:09:16.380 --> 0:09:20.300 to the Word of God in Psalm 119 alone. 50 0:09:20.500 --> 0:09:25.220 promises with regard to the word, and it's amazing. Check 0:09:25.220 --> 0:09:29.140 it out. But it's usually the unseen things that matter most, 0:09:29.140 --> 0:09:31.300 and it's the little things in life that can really 0:09:31.300 --> 0:09:34.140 move the dial. I think we we think of people 0:09:34.140 --> 0:09:40.459 with great, uh, sports prowess or great skills in business. Uh, 0:09:40.460 --> 0:09:43.059 I get blown away by listening to Warren Buffett and 0:09:43.059 --> 0:09:46.540 some of these guys. If you really listen to these 0:09:46.540 --> 0:09:50.699 guys that have done it in finance or business or 0:09:50.700 --> 0:09:53.080 my own two adult kids at the at the tech startup, 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.319 they would tell you right now, it's the little stuff 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.000 that moves the dial almost more than the big stuff, guys. 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.920 It's the little stuff. And Ali gave us a good 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.679 example of this great daughter. She and Ali's daughter is 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.800 a phenomenal basketball player and a great three point shooter. 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:12.080 And I get a little bit like I go dad 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:16.120 mode sometimes. She's not even my kid. But I'm like, get, get, 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:19.959 get her the ball. If she's sinking threes, it might 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:25.440 be good to keep giving her the ball. Carl, you 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:28.360 poor Ali and Henry. I'm blowing up their text one 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.760 day watching the game and I'm like, get her the ball, 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:33.240 get her the ball. 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:34.040 It's so funny. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:38.040 But she wasn't always shooting threes really well. And little 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:39.240 things mattered don't they. 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.040 Yeah. My husband has worked with her since she first 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.280 really started to show an interest in playing, and he 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.720 wanted to really build her shot from the ground up. 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.980 And so she would she was a good natural shooter, 0:10:51.980 --> 0:10:55.140 but she developed some bad habits. And so one in particular, 0:10:55.140 --> 0:10:58.060 I remember she had a thumb flick. You don't realize 0:10:58.059 --> 0:11:00.900 how much of the impact when you're shooting a basketball 0:11:00.900 --> 0:11:03.300 that your thumb has. So she would kind of flick 0:11:03.300 --> 0:11:05.579 her thumb forward, which would cause the ball to not 0:11:05.580 --> 0:11:08.780 spin straight, which could cause it to go off just 0:11:08.780 --> 0:11:11.460 enough to make it not go in the basket. And 0:11:11.460 --> 0:11:14.380 so my husband got her this glove that would keep 0:11:14.380 --> 0:11:18.220 her hand sort of stationary, like with all of you, 0:11:18.220 --> 0:11:20.140 picture holding your hand out in front of you, with 0:11:20.140 --> 0:11:22.660 all of your fingers spread as wide as you can, 0:11:22.820 --> 0:11:25.820 and then sort of making mirroring that shape of the ball. 0:11:25.820 --> 0:11:29.740 So her thumb physically couldn't do that little flick thing. 0:11:29.780 --> 0:11:33.540 So she had to learn how to shoot without flicking 0:11:33.540 --> 0:11:36.540 her thumb, or he would sometimes take her and make 0:11:36.540 --> 0:11:39.459 her wear latex gloves so that she could work on 0:11:39.460 --> 0:11:42.420 catching and gripping the ball. Even with like, the the 0:11:42.420 --> 0:11:45.140 resistance of the glove. All these little things that he 0:11:45.140 --> 0:11:48.660 would do that would be sort of odd at the time. 0:11:48.660 --> 0:11:52.309 But over time it really started, started to build a 0:11:52.309 --> 0:11:57.030 consistency and an ability to really maintain really good form, 0:11:57.150 --> 0:11:59.510 even when the in the game action where there's lots 0:11:59.510 --> 0:12:02.470 of things happening. So those little adjustments made such a 0:12:02.470 --> 0:12:03.390 big difference. 0:12:03.710 --> 0:12:08.030 That's life, man. And it's beautiful. And we find James 0:12:08.030 --> 0:12:12.510 saying this. So if you've ever sailed you got a 0:12:12.550 --> 0:12:16.150 I don't know, you got a little trimaran, you got 0:12:16.150 --> 0:12:19.630 a day dinghy. You've got I don't care what you have, 0:12:19.630 --> 0:12:22.070 I don't care if you got a little dinky sailboat 0:12:22.070 --> 0:12:24.589 like I had when I was like 15, 16 years old. 0:12:24.590 --> 0:12:27.710 I don't care what it is or a humongous ship. 0:12:27.870 --> 0:12:32.069 It's an astounding thing to watch these things at dry dock. 0:12:32.070 --> 0:12:38.069 And you go, that moves that, hold it a second, 0:12:38.190 --> 0:12:42.110 that moves all of that. And what is it? It's 0:12:42.110 --> 0:12:44.390 a rudder. Listen to what we find in the book 0:12:44.390 --> 0:12:45.470 of James. Take it away. 0:12:45.790 --> 0:12:49.189 James three, starting with verse three. If we put bits 0:12:49.190 --> 0:12:51.130 into the into the mouths of horses so that they 0:12:51.130 --> 0:12:54.050 obey us. We guide their whole bodies as well. Look 0:12:54.050 --> 0:12:56.970 at the ships also, though they are so large and 0:12:56.970 --> 0:12:59.250 are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a 0:12:59.250 --> 0:13:02.810 very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 0:13:02.929 --> 0:13:06.170 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it 0:13:06.170 --> 0:13:09.090 boasts of great things. 0:13:09.090 --> 0:13:12.489 The power of the tongue is one of the most 0:13:12.490 --> 0:13:19.209 underestimated and underutilized resources we have. Some people go through 0:13:19.210 --> 0:13:23.690 this life thinking I'm pretty powerless. That is not true. 0:13:24.370 --> 0:13:29.089 If you have been given a tongue, you have power. 0:13:29.290 --> 0:13:31.410 Isn't that what the scriptures say? 0:13:31.610 --> 0:13:34.209 Yes. And the fact that it's compared to a bit 0:13:34.210 --> 0:13:36.570 in the mouth of the horse, and a rudder on 0:13:36.570 --> 0:13:39.929 a ship as far as the size of it compared 0:13:39.929 --> 0:13:41.609 to the relative impact. 0:13:41.890 --> 0:13:46.890 It's it's staggering. And it's it's a powerful truth that 0:13:46.890 --> 0:13:50.180 we need to leverage in life and in marriages. We're 0:13:50.179 --> 0:13:50.780 talking today. 0:13:50.900 --> 0:13:55.220 Absolutely. Well, I mean, you've seen how how sometimes negative 0:13:55.220 --> 0:13:58.939 or positive the the words of someone else can literally 0:13:58.980 --> 0:14:03.540 direct a life trajectory that people say, well, I do 0:14:03.540 --> 0:14:06.860 this because this person said this about me and I 0:14:06.860 --> 0:14:09.540 want to prove them wrong, or because I think they're 0:14:09.580 --> 0:14:11.980 kind of right about me. And I lived that that 0:14:11.980 --> 0:14:15.100 lie out in my life and in my actions or 0:14:15.260 --> 0:14:19.260 vice versa. When you build someone up, sometimes the trajectory 0:14:19.260 --> 0:14:21.540 of their whole life changes because you gave them a 0:14:21.540 --> 0:14:25.540 correct view of themselves. And so in our marriages, it's 0:14:25.540 --> 0:14:28.820 so important because that's your partner, that's the person that 0:14:28.820 --> 0:14:32.620 you said, I am in this life, in this walk 0:14:32.620 --> 0:14:35.380 of discipleship with you the whole way through. And how 0:14:35.380 --> 0:14:37.260 we speak to them is so important. 0:14:37.540 --> 0:14:42.700 Yeah. I'm the one of the most powerful statements ever 0:14:42.700 --> 0:14:47.300 spoken to me was from my dad. And this is 0:14:47.300 --> 0:14:51.080 how powerful it was. I'm at the start of the 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:56.360 Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race. Dogs are lunging in their harnesses. 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:59.440 I've got 13 huskies, well trained, ready to go right 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:00.960 in front of me, and I'm ready to pull the 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.440 snow hook, which is the emergency brake. And dad says, 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:05.320 hold on a second, I want to pray with you. 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.440 And I got something to say. We bowed our heads. 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.920 I wasn't a follower of Jesus, but isn't it funny 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.440 when you're looking at 1100 miles in front of you? 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.000 Prayer doesn't seem like a bad idea. 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:18.160 Absolutely not. 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.160 So I bowed my head with my dad. My dad 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.800 yelling a prayer because the noise of the huskies assembled 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.440 on that lake in the hustle and bustle of people 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:31.240 running around snow machines. It was just loud. And he's 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:34.880 bellowing to God, God be with my boy! And at 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.720 the end of that prayer, he said, Amen. And then 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.200 he looked at me and he said, now there's a 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:44.440 lot of discussion about whether or not you're up for this. 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.000 And I've heard what some of these mushers on this 0:15:47.140 --> 0:15:49.620 lake are saying about you going to die out there. 0:15:50.780 --> 0:15:53.700 Let me tell you what I'm needing you to know, son. 0:15:54.940 --> 0:15:59.740 I've already bought my plane ticket to Nome, Alaska. I'll 0:15:59.740 --> 0:16:00.940 see you when you get there. 0:16:01.020 --> 0:16:02.460 That was the finish line, right? 0:16:02.860 --> 0:16:06.740 Nome was the finish. I bought my ticket to Nome, Alaska. 0:16:06.900 --> 0:16:09.980 I'll see you when you get there. You know how 0:16:09.980 --> 0:16:13.700 powerful those words were for me. So powerful they were. 0:16:16.180 --> 0:16:19.100 I made it to no. 21 days, eight hours, 12 0:16:19.100 --> 0:16:22.900 minutes and 32 seconds. Are you ready for a wild one, guys? 0:16:22.980 --> 0:16:27.020 It wasn't until two years after the Iditarod was over 0:16:27.100 --> 0:16:31.060 that it ever dawned on me I might not make it. 0:16:32.620 --> 0:16:33.660 Wow. 0:16:33.700 --> 0:16:35.020 Never even dawned on me. 0:16:35.540 --> 0:16:39.260 And it's crazy because you had some very life threatening 0:16:39.260 --> 0:16:41.100 situations on that race. 0:16:41.140 --> 0:16:43.220 Yeah. You were 18 years old. 0:16:43.260 --> 0:16:47.110 And I was 18, and. But it. How powerful were 0:16:47.110 --> 0:16:48.070 dad's words? 0:16:48.070 --> 0:16:48.950 So powerful. 0:16:49.190 --> 0:16:50.750 I mean, his belief in you. 0:16:50.790 --> 0:16:57.110 Yeah, yeah. I bought my ticket. I'll see you when 0:16:57.110 --> 0:16:58.310 you get there. 0:16:59.550 --> 0:17:00.350 That's amazing. 0:17:00.350 --> 0:17:01.390 Come on. 0:17:01.430 --> 0:17:02.070 Powerful. 0:17:03.830 --> 0:17:07.030 So, does the tongue have power? Yes. In marriage? Yes. 0:17:07.030 --> 0:17:09.949 Raising kids. Yeah. And you know what? We need to 0:17:09.950 --> 0:17:14.109 get a little more disciplined at is catching people winning 0:17:14.109 --> 0:17:21.909 and telling them. Or forecasting. You got this. It's powerful. Also, 0:17:21.950 --> 0:17:23.350 we've all experienced that. 0:17:23.390 --> 0:17:28.550 To express gratitude. Yeah, I noticed that you did this. 0:17:29.430 --> 0:17:33.909 Thanks for doing this. 0:17:33.950 --> 0:17:39.870 It's powerful man. What if the whole boom crew, the 0:17:39.990 --> 0:17:44.190 many thousands of you listening right now? We just locked 0:17:44.230 --> 0:17:48.649 hearts together and said, okay, today we are going to 0:17:48.690 --> 0:17:55.370 use this small thing called the. Tongue to wield great 0:17:55.369 --> 0:17:58.250 power in the lives of people. And I'm not talking about. 0:17:58.290 --> 0:18:02.250 Dreaming up stuff that doesn't exist. I'm talking about catching people. 0:18:02.450 --> 0:18:07.650 Winning and telling them. Having had a history where they've 0:18:07.890 --> 0:18:10.690 someone in your life. Has done something really sweet for 0:18:10.690 --> 0:18:13.210 you and going, you know what? I'm going to. Text 0:18:13.210 --> 0:18:15.650 them and say thank you. I don't tell you enough, 0:18:15.730 --> 0:18:21.050 I appreciate you. Wow. How much would that change the 0:18:21.050 --> 0:18:25.530 landscape of of our terra firma that we're. Walking today, 0:18:25.530 --> 0:18:30.170 it would be huge. So who is it you need 0:18:30.170 --> 0:18:35.250 to reach out to today? And just say thank you. 0:18:35.250 --> 0:18:40.209 This thing, fill in the blank that you've done is. Powerhouse, guys. 0:18:42.730 --> 0:18:48.459 The power of the tongue. And in marriage. Woof! Woof! 0:18:49.300 --> 0:18:53.620 Take time. Find her. Find him. Speak a word. 0:18:54.180 --> 0:18:57.140 He's a sports fanatic with a stat for anything you 0:18:57.140 --> 0:19:01.379 can think of. Young Thunder is in the crew. It's 0:19:01.380 --> 0:19:03.500 curl and crew on Moody Radio. 0:19:04.619 --> 0:19:06.780 Well, you love your spouse, but do you like them? 0:19:06.980 --> 0:19:08.060 That's a question. 0:19:11.500 --> 0:19:13.780 I think we all have moments. 0:19:14.300 --> 0:19:17.939 If we're honest, we're like, boy, I love you, but 0:19:17.940 --> 0:19:20.060 I'm not sure I like you. 0:19:20.100 --> 0:19:23.139 And if we're honest, I appreciate you loving me because 0:19:23.140 --> 0:19:25.020 I know I'm not very likable right now. 0:19:25.060 --> 0:19:27.740 Yeah, okay. That's a good point. 0:19:29.020 --> 0:19:30.820 That is a really good point. 0:19:31.780 --> 0:19:34.659 Sometimes, you know, you're not likable. We've all been I 0:19:34.660 --> 0:19:38.100 know I've been really cranky this week. I've been short tempered. 0:19:38.100 --> 0:19:40.859 And I'm sorry I've not been easy to like this week. 0:19:41.260 --> 0:19:43.620 Yeah. And she's just confessing that to the team here this. 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:44.080 Morning. 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:46.440 That was coming. 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:47.679 You knew I knew it. 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:48.360 You knew. 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:48.720 It. 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.159 Oh, Allie's a trooper. She's never a bit of a 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:53.159 challenge around here. 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:55.400 Never. Of course. Never. Haha. 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:58.520 Coming up here, we've got a treat for you, don't we, Allie? 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:02.160 We do. Arlene. It's national marriage week. You want to 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:05.960 like your spouse more? Have fun in your marriage. She's 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:07.720 all about it. She'll tell us how to do it. 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:08.760 Coming up. 0:20:08.760 --> 0:20:13.240 She's a choreographer extraordinaire and everything is Greek to her. 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:17.399 Super di is in the crew. It's Karl and crew 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:18.560 on Moody Radio. 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.359 Well, we talk about love in marriage. We're talking marriage 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:24.880 all week long. Somebody went out there and said, we 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.679 want to sell hallmark cards. So we'll call this marriage week. 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.320 Wait. Hopefully it's a little bit more than that. 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:35.600 I think it's more than that, for sure. And we 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:38.080 should have more than marriage. We should have marriage morning, 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:41.480 noon and dinnertime. But, you know, it's interesting, Ali, we 0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:44.820 talk about a lot about love in marriage? Yes, but 0:20:44.820 --> 0:20:48.820 we don't often talk about liking the person that we're loving. 0:20:48.940 --> 0:20:53.220 Yes. And oftentimes people will say, if not outright, they'll 0:20:53.260 --> 0:20:57.660 imply it. I mean, I love her or him. I'm committed, but. 0:20:57.900 --> 0:20:58.100 I'm. 0:20:58.100 --> 0:21:01.619 Committed. I just don't like them very much. 0:21:02.020 --> 0:21:06.100 Oh, Arlene, can we fuel the fires of, like. You 0:21:06.100 --> 0:21:10.020 know what's funny about love is that it usually starts with, like, 0:21:10.060 --> 0:21:13.820 in love, then builds, and then sometimes, like, can fade, 0:21:13.820 --> 0:21:15.139 and that's no joke, is it? 0:21:15.180 --> 0:21:19.220 Arlene, that is no joke. I love this question and 0:21:19.220 --> 0:21:22.540 like it as well. So. And you're exactly right. Because 0:21:22.700 --> 0:21:25.899 you liked this person. Why? You found the same things 0:21:25.900 --> 0:21:29.140 funny you like, did things together, you had activities together. 0:21:29.140 --> 0:21:32.260 You understood each other. You took time for each other. 0:21:32.260 --> 0:21:34.020 They listened to you, and you're like, wow, I really 0:21:34.020 --> 0:21:37.340 like this person. And after you marry, you kind of 0:21:37.380 --> 0:21:40.060 stop doing some of those behaviors because you're like, why 0:21:40.060 --> 0:21:41.740 do I have to listen to you? I have, like, 0:21:41.740 --> 0:21:43.550 so like, so many things to do. Why do I 0:21:43.550 --> 0:21:44.870 have to do? Like, why do I have to like 0:21:44.869 --> 0:21:47.109 football now? I've already done my. I've already gone to 0:21:47.109 --> 0:21:49.030 the games. I don't need to like that anymore. Why 0:21:49.030 --> 0:21:51.310 do I have to watch you go shopping? This is awful. 0:21:51.350 --> 0:21:54.510 Just shop by yourself. So all the things that we 0:21:54.510 --> 0:21:57.270 used to do when we liked each other, it's like, 0:21:57.270 --> 0:21:59.430 I don't have to do that now because we love 0:21:59.430 --> 0:22:01.830 each other. We're in a committed relationship. So a lot 0:22:01.830 --> 0:22:03.669 of the. And believe me, this James and I have 0:22:03.670 --> 0:22:05.950 been married for 26 years, and there are many times 0:22:05.950 --> 0:22:07.950 where I've thought, you know, like, well, I don't like 0:22:07.950 --> 0:22:10.830 you very much right now, right. And why in that moment, 0:22:10.830 --> 0:22:13.550 in my feeling that way, he either like he disagrees 0:22:13.550 --> 0:22:16.190 with me, he's asking me to do something that I 0:22:16.190 --> 0:22:19.270 do not want to do, you know, and I really 0:22:19.270 --> 0:22:21.630 like what thing has helped me is when I think 0:22:21.630 --> 0:22:25.070 to myself, well, I don't like you very much. I 0:22:25.070 --> 0:22:28.750 think to myself, he's probably also thinking, well, I don't 0:22:28.750 --> 0:22:31.670 like her very much. And it it just helps me 0:22:31.670 --> 0:22:35.229 realize that we're both like annoying one another, that we 0:22:35.230 --> 0:22:38.710 are both falling short of the like, meter, you know? 0:22:38.710 --> 0:22:42.490 So just realize that we are not always perfect either 0:22:42.850 --> 0:22:46.330 as the listener. And then I think it is going back, 0:22:46.369 --> 0:22:49.010 like you asked, how do you stoke the like again? 0:22:49.170 --> 0:22:51.690 And that's an important question and making in my book 0:22:51.730 --> 0:22:55.369 Making Marriage Easier. The fourth decision is to take fun 0:22:55.369 --> 0:22:58.970 seriously because we think it's just this extra. But the 0:22:58.970 --> 0:23:01.490 way you start to like them again is you have 0:23:01.490 --> 0:23:04.250 fun again together. Like you laugh and you see a 0:23:04.250 --> 0:23:07.530 movie together, or you eat popcorn late at night and 0:23:07.530 --> 0:23:09.370 get it all over the couch and you're like, oh, you. 0:23:09.530 --> 0:23:11.929 You know what I mean? Like you're doing things that 0:23:11.930 --> 0:23:15.570 make you enjoy each other again. So look for those 0:23:15.570 --> 0:23:19.129 activities with your spouse and things you can do together, 0:23:19.130 --> 0:23:21.970 maybe a vacation place to dream about together and it 0:23:21.970 --> 0:23:23.810 will help stoke the like. 0:23:23.810 --> 0:23:26.570 We've got Arlene Pelikan with us this morning, spokesperson for 0:23:26.570 --> 0:23:29.609 National Marriage Week and author of the new book Making 0:23:29.609 --> 0:23:33.050 Marriage Easier. You mentioned a decision. What are the four 0:23:33.050 --> 0:23:36.050 decisions that have helped you and your husband, James, remain 0:23:36.050 --> 0:23:39.450 happily married for and liking and loving each other for 0:23:39.450 --> 0:23:40.660 26 years. 0:23:40.900 --> 0:23:44.740 That's right. Decision number one is to play by the rules. 0:23:45.140 --> 0:23:47.419 So don't follow your feelings. Just like there are rules 0:23:47.420 --> 0:23:49.780 in sports. You know there are boundaries. You've got to 0:23:49.780 --> 0:23:53.260 have those in marriage and pre-decide what you will and 0:23:53.260 --> 0:23:55.980 what you won't do. What's cool? What's not cool. Decision 0:23:55.980 --> 0:24:00.060 number two is give thanks every day. When you met 0:24:00.060 --> 0:24:02.580 your spouse, you were super thankful to God and you 0:24:02.580 --> 0:24:05.500 just have to keep that heart of thanksgiving. God, I 0:24:05.500 --> 0:24:08.260 thank you. I thank you for the challenge my marriage 0:24:08.300 --> 0:24:10.060 is in. I thank you for the good place. My 0:24:10.060 --> 0:24:14.260 marriage is in a decision. Number three, real popular is 0:24:14.260 --> 0:24:17.780 serve your spouse. And it is this idea that instead 0:24:17.780 --> 0:24:19.660 of saying, what are you going to do for me today? 0:24:19.700 --> 0:24:21.620 You know, you go into the day thinking, hey, how 0:24:21.619 --> 0:24:23.820 can I help you? How can I serve you today? 0:24:23.820 --> 0:24:26.500 And if you go in like that, wow. The whole 0:24:26.500 --> 0:24:29.379 atmosphere of the home changes and decision four we've touched 0:24:29.380 --> 0:24:32.940 on earlier is to take fun seriously that it's time 0:24:32.940 --> 0:24:35.939 to be playful again. The same things that brought you together, 0:24:35.940 --> 0:24:38.780 the fun. That's what helps keep you together really well. 0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.960 I had an epiphany, uh, a couple of days ago. 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:46.640 It was like God showed up. I'm walking down a 0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:52.920 sidewalk with my bride in Chicago, and she went, boom, boom. 0:24:53.080 --> 0:24:57.160 Two of the most profound observations, one about the church 0:24:57.520 --> 0:25:01.800 where I am pastoring. And she's right there with me, 0:25:01.960 --> 0:25:05.600 and one about life in general. And I was like, boom! 0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:08.720 And I stopped and I, we were walking. I said, 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:13.360 that is profound. She said, you're joking. You poking fun 0:25:13.359 --> 0:25:16.600 at me? I said, no, take it at face value. 0:25:16.640 --> 0:25:21.760 What you just said was so profound. How did I 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:23.960 get there? I'm going to let you in. How did 0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:26.160 I get to the point where I heard my wife 0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:30.160 and go? I like what she's saying. How did that happen? 0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:32.680 You made space for it, right? You two were together. 0:25:32.680 --> 0:25:34.959 You were alone. It sounds like you didn't have all 0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:37.560 these kids in tow. Or, you know, people all around 0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:40.740 you and you're walking. And actually, I think when you're 0:25:40.740 --> 0:25:43.940 walking side by side, you things happen, like in your 0:25:43.940 --> 0:25:47.220 brain as you're moving all those things. It's it's good. 0:25:47.619 --> 0:25:50.500 So I think, you know, make room for walks. Like, 0:25:50.500 --> 0:25:52.180 why is it that we always in movies, they fall 0:25:52.180 --> 0:25:54.820 in love when they're walking, right? They're like walking and 0:25:54.820 --> 0:25:57.740 they're talking and they're like, right? And they're like, wow, 0:25:57.740 --> 0:26:02.260 I love this person. So seriously, like, that's such fast, easy, 0:26:02.300 --> 0:26:04.260 cheap way to date each other. Again, it's like, hey, 0:26:04.260 --> 0:26:06.500 let's walk around the block. Hey, let's go walk around 0:26:06.500 --> 0:26:09.940 the lake. Let's go walk around whatever. So make space, walk. 0:26:09.980 --> 0:26:12.859 And then it sounded like you were ready to listen, right? 0:26:12.859 --> 0:26:16.540 You weren't like you weren't the one doing all the 0:26:16.540 --> 0:26:19.500 talking so that your wife couldn't get a word in edgewise. 0:26:19.500 --> 0:26:20.979 There was a back and forth there. 0:26:21.140 --> 0:26:23.859 Yeah, that appreciation thing isn't that cool, Ali. 0:26:23.900 --> 0:26:25.740 It really is. I love that, and I love that 0:26:25.740 --> 0:26:27.980 you shared that moment with your with your bride. 0:26:28.100 --> 0:26:29.460 Yeah, it was sweet. 0:26:29.460 --> 0:26:32.100 We've got Arlene Pelikan with us this morning. Coming up. 0:26:32.460 --> 0:26:35.979 Let's go back to this fun aspect because that's something 0:26:35.980 --> 0:26:40.030 that many couples struggle with their committed. Maybe this is you. 0:26:40.030 --> 0:26:43.510 You're committed. You're not going anywhere. Your spouse isn't going 0:26:43.510 --> 0:26:47.510 anywhere but fun. That does not describe your day to 0:26:47.550 --> 0:26:50.550 day life in marriage. How do we fix that? Coming up. 0:26:51.109 --> 0:26:53.909 You're listening to Curl and Crew on Moody Radio. 0:26:54.869 --> 0:26:57.070 So you want to have more fun in marriage? Does 0:26:57.070 --> 0:27:00.750 that seem like an impossibility? Arlene Pelikan with us right now, 0:27:00.869 --> 0:27:03.510 author of Making Marriage Easier How to Love and Like 0:27:03.510 --> 0:27:06.670 Your Spouse for life. Fun is one of the decisions 0:27:06.670 --> 0:27:08.389 that we have to take seriously. I'm going to have 0:27:08.390 --> 0:27:10.750 fun with this person who I've committed my life to. 0:27:10.790 --> 0:27:13.790 I'm not going to just tolerate them until we one 0:27:13.790 --> 0:27:16.830 of us dies. I mean, that sounds dramatic, but many 0:27:16.830 --> 0:27:19.070 people live like that. How do you begin to bring 0:27:19.070 --> 0:27:21.070 the fun back into marriage? 0:27:21.590 --> 0:27:24.030 Yeah, you find the opportunities and look for it be like, 0:27:24.030 --> 0:27:26.429 I need something fun to do and really look. So 0:27:26.430 --> 0:27:29.109 my husband is kind of out of the box crazy. 0:27:29.109 --> 0:27:31.189 And our kids, when they were little, everyone had to 0:27:31.190 --> 0:27:32.949 do the same activity, the three kids. So it was 0:27:32.950 --> 0:27:35.190 going to be martial arts. And he comes home and 0:27:35.190 --> 0:27:38.090 he's like, I found a found a studio where the 0:27:38.090 --> 0:27:42.570 three of them can go. We can go for free. Well, what? What? 0:27:42.570 --> 0:27:45.730 Parrot wants to go, right? Like especially a mom. So 0:27:45.730 --> 0:27:48.969 the five of us go to the kids studio and 0:27:48.970 --> 0:27:51.210 they're all, like, three, four feet tall. And then, like, 0:27:51.210 --> 0:27:54.290 James and I, and we were like, yes, let's do this. 0:27:54.290 --> 0:27:57.250 So we all have these matching blue dragon shirts with 0:27:57.250 --> 0:28:00.570 dragons in our belts and our pants. And the first day, 0:28:00.609 --> 0:28:02.810 like we do jiu jitsu, and my head is in 0:28:02.810 --> 0:28:04.850 my husband's legs for a triangle and I'm like, there 0:28:04.850 --> 0:28:08.250 is just no way. But we stuck it out. We 0:28:08.250 --> 0:28:10.610 did that like 2 to 3 times a week for 0:28:10.609 --> 0:28:14.650 like four years, and it was hilarious. Like, I never 0:28:14.650 --> 0:28:17.170 got good at it. My husband would talk in class 0:28:17.170 --> 0:28:19.690 and get in trouble and the sons would be like, Mr. James, 0:28:19.730 --> 0:28:22.770 please be quiet. I mean, it was so funny. So 0:28:22.770 --> 0:28:25.210 as we look back on that, you know, sparring the 0:28:25.210 --> 0:28:27.530 first time, they put the big chest gear on me 0:28:27.530 --> 0:28:30.330 and I have the big dot on my chest, and 0:28:30.330 --> 0:28:33.690 I say to James, don't hit me. And he's like, what? Like, 0:28:33.690 --> 0:28:36.980 that's the whole point is you're my sparring partner, and 0:28:36.980 --> 0:28:39.740 I'm supposed to hit you. So it was built in fun. 0:28:39.740 --> 0:28:42.820 So when you have kids in that stage, many times 0:28:42.820 --> 0:28:45.260 you just think, oh, I'm just going to watch their fun. Like, 0:28:45.260 --> 0:28:47.260 they do stuff and we just sit in the sidelines 0:28:47.260 --> 0:28:49.340 and watch it, but get stubborn and be like, no, 0:28:49.340 --> 0:28:51.420 I'm going to have fun too. And you don't have 0:28:51.420 --> 0:28:53.860 to join the sport, let's say. But you do have 0:28:53.860 --> 0:28:57.100 to join something like find something you can do that 0:28:57.100 --> 0:29:00.180 is fun or funny. Like, it's not that I enjoyed 0:29:00.180 --> 0:29:02.340 it so much, but it was funny. So you find 0:29:02.340 --> 0:29:04.820 the funny and then like when you're later, like, let's 0:29:04.820 --> 0:29:07.780 say you're an empty nester and it's like, oh, all 0:29:07.780 --> 0:29:10.700 the excitement is gone. I remember my husband, he's a realtor, 0:29:10.700 --> 0:29:13.820 and he threw like an ice skating party for his clients. 0:29:13.820 --> 0:29:16.260 And I couldn't believe it. There were like 70, 80 0:29:16.300 --> 0:29:19.140 year olds, like, out on the ice, right? And I 0:29:19.140 --> 0:29:22.020 was like, wow, kudos. Good on them. Like, I can 0:29:22.020 --> 0:29:24.900 barely get on the ice. And I just showed me 0:29:24.940 --> 0:29:27.739 at whatever age you're at, like, go and say, oh, 0:29:27.740 --> 0:29:30.340 there's an opportunity for fun. Like, I will go do that. 0:29:30.340 --> 0:29:32.660 And I think that really, really helps. 0:29:32.660 --> 0:29:34.900 I love it. Arlene is our guest, by the way. 0:29:34.900 --> 0:29:36.680 We're going to have a link for a resource that 0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:38.440 you're going to want to get because some of you 0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:41.680 just need to you've been focused on and I don't 0:29:41.680 --> 0:29:44.560 want to poo poo this because love is a verb. 0:29:44.760 --> 0:29:47.040 It's we're called to do it, to love one another 0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:51.520 big time. Mutual submission found in the book of Ephesians. 0:29:52.040 --> 0:29:55.640 Very clear for a healthy marriage. But liking is that. 0:29:55.640 --> 0:29:58.200 The funny thing about liking is that you start off, 0:29:58.680 --> 0:30:01.440 I don't know. I've I've married off over 100 couples. 0:30:01.560 --> 0:30:04.600 I've never met one of these couples that didn't like 0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:05.360 each other. 0:30:05.400 --> 0:30:06.080 That's right. 0:30:06.120 --> 0:30:10.600 I mean, you start liking actually love grows because it's 0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:14.160 so sacrificial and it's hard work. But that liking thing 0:30:14.160 --> 0:30:17.600 is fundamental because it's out of that liking where loving is, 0:30:17.960 --> 0:30:21.040 is cultivated. What do you tell a guy? Because I 0:30:21.040 --> 0:30:23.120 got a friend of mine. He hates shopping with his wife. 0:30:23.120 --> 0:30:25.400 I said, dude, I've turned it into a consulting thing. 0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:28.280 I'm just a consultant. If she says no, we aren't 0:30:28.280 --> 0:30:30.000 getting that. I go, all right, I'm going to go 0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:32.360 down the next aisle and look for some more stuff. 0:30:32.840 --> 0:30:36.260 But how do you turn the I don't like into? 0:30:36.260 --> 0:30:38.740 All right. I can stomach this. How do you do that? 0:30:38.780 --> 0:30:41.620 Yes, I think switching it like I don't like shopping, 0:30:41.620 --> 0:30:43.620 but I do. Like you. Can you imagine if your 0:30:43.620 --> 0:30:45.420 husband said that I don't like shopping. But I do 0:30:45.420 --> 0:30:47.820 like you. And I'll hang out with you all day. Right. 0:30:47.820 --> 0:30:49.980 That would be like. Wow. And then it makes the 0:30:49.980 --> 0:30:52.700 wife like, wow. My husband loves me so much and 0:30:52.700 --> 0:30:54.940 likes me so much and I feel like a nice 0:30:54.940 --> 0:30:57.060 wife would be. Then let me try to get this 0:30:57.060 --> 0:31:00.420 done faster, because you're being really nice to me. So 0:31:00.420 --> 0:31:03.260 just the idea, like, if you like it, I'll try it. 0:31:03.260 --> 0:31:05.580 And even if I don't really like it, I want 0:31:05.580 --> 0:31:07.740 to spend time with you. So just turn it into 0:31:07.740 --> 0:31:09.860 a game in your mind that it's not about shopping, 0:31:09.980 --> 0:31:12.340 it's about making your wife feel loved. And then I know, 0:31:12.340 --> 0:31:14.900 like my father in law, he would always bring a book. 0:31:14.940 --> 0:31:17.620 Like he would just be like, okay, great. You go 0:31:17.620 --> 0:31:19.700 over there. I will sit here for ten minutes and 0:31:19.700 --> 0:31:21.380 read my book and I will be so happy. 0:31:21.500 --> 0:31:23.740 Okay, I got a confession on those lines and this 0:31:23.740 --> 0:31:26.380 will help someone. So I am quick out the door. 0:31:26.900 --> 0:31:30.340 My wife is not so quick. She's not like super slow, 0:31:30.340 --> 0:31:32.260 but it takes her a little more time and I 0:31:32.260 --> 0:31:35.750 used to get so irritated. I mean, I would lose 0:31:35.750 --> 0:31:39.510 my mind. I'm like, okay, we're ready. 0:31:39.550 --> 0:31:41.350 Let's go, let's go. 0:31:41.630 --> 0:31:44.910 And you know what the Lord told me? Knock it off. 0:31:45.070 --> 0:31:48.110 You got stuff to do. And it was really fun 0:31:48.110 --> 0:31:52.230 for me to go. Hey, when you're ready, I'm here 0:31:52.230 --> 0:31:54.430 for you. And you know what? When I made an 0:31:54.430 --> 0:31:57.830 emotional shift from quit focusing on. She's not as ready 0:31:57.830 --> 0:32:01.150 as quickly as you are to just do something with 0:32:01.150 --> 0:32:04.590 your time. You've got things you can get done. Man. 0:32:04.590 --> 0:32:08.229 It shifts, and then the like button goes off. Yeah. 0:32:08.270 --> 0:32:09.310 What do you say, Arlene? 0:32:09.390 --> 0:32:11.469 I love that it's just asking, like, is this really, 0:32:11.470 --> 0:32:14.030 really important? And be like, you know what? If she's 0:32:14.030 --> 0:32:17.670 five minutes behind me, that's not really, really, really that important. 0:32:17.750 --> 0:32:19.750 And you're right. So I will do something with my 0:32:19.750 --> 0:32:21.670 own time. And isn't it funny? It takes us time 0:32:21.870 --> 0:32:24.230 to figure that out. So if there's something that you're 0:32:24.230 --> 0:32:26.310 just like my word, I'm so annoyed. I. You know, 0:32:26.310 --> 0:32:28.790 I've written these books like Screen Kids with Gary Chapman. 0:32:28.790 --> 0:32:30.590 And I remember when Doctor Chapman would be like, she 0:32:30.590 --> 0:32:33.530 would just not close the Close the cabinet doors and 0:32:33.530 --> 0:32:35.850 it would just drive me crazy. She'd leave all these 0:32:35.850 --> 0:32:39.050 drawers open everywhere. And when he made the shift. You 0:32:39.050 --> 0:32:41.770 know what? I'm just going to close them. It, like, 0:32:41.810 --> 0:32:45.490 changed everything that it was like. It diffused the whole thing. 0:32:45.850 --> 0:32:48.210 So just ask, is this, like a really important thing 0:32:48.210 --> 0:32:51.250 that I'm bugged about? And if it's not, then it's like, 0:32:51.290 --> 0:32:54.290 you know what, let me adjust to this thing and 0:32:54.290 --> 0:32:55.170 let's move on. 0:32:55.210 --> 0:32:59.690 Yeah, I this is hilarious, but I recommend armor all wipes. 0:33:00.370 --> 0:33:03.530 No joking. I get in my car, honest to goodness. 0:33:03.530 --> 0:33:06.930 I'll get in my car and instead of wigging out 0:33:06.930 --> 0:33:08.890 and I don't do that anymore, I'm like, I'm going 0:33:08.930 --> 0:33:11.730 to armor all the dash until she gets out of here. 0:33:11.730 --> 0:33:15.170 And I'll detail this sucker in no, I'm telling it 0:33:15.170 --> 0:33:18.970 may sound crazy, but it helps. It's it's a total 0:33:19.010 --> 0:33:21.930 perspective shift. And then my bride used to say, oh, 0:33:21.930 --> 0:33:25.770 I'm I'm sorry. I'm sorry for. And no problem. Look 0:33:25.770 --> 0:33:28.130 at the dash. Look how good that looks. 0:33:28.290 --> 0:33:30.570 Look how good it looks all the time. It's a 0:33:30.570 --> 0:33:34.300 good thing you need those minutes, because look at that dash. Yeah. 0:33:34.340 --> 0:33:34.860 Oh, boy. 0:33:35.220 --> 0:33:39.700 Arlene Pelicans spokesperson for National Marriage Week. In these closing minutes, 0:33:39.700 --> 0:33:42.140 just give us a word on National Marriage Week. There's 0:33:42.140 --> 0:33:46.219 resources available. There's some live virtual events for people to 0:33:46.220 --> 0:33:48.580 participate in with their spouse. Tell us about it. 0:33:48.660 --> 0:33:51.300 This is brand new this year. It's amazing. Every day 0:33:51.300 --> 0:33:54.260 there is a free live stream about a different point 0:33:54.260 --> 0:33:56.060 in your marriage. So if you have trouble with your 0:33:56.060 --> 0:33:59.940 family of origin or with conflict or with physical intimacy, 0:33:59.940 --> 0:34:02.620 there's something there for you. So you're going to see 0:34:02.660 --> 0:34:05.740 Bill and Pam Farrell and Jim Burns and Doctor Willard 0:34:05.740 --> 0:34:08.940 Harley and all sorts of people sign up. It's free 0:34:09.020 --> 0:34:10.140 and it's there for you. 0:34:10.180 --> 0:34:12.700 Well, we've got the details for you. Just text marriage 0:34:12.700 --> 0:34:21.140 to 800 555 7898. Text marriage to 800 555 7888. 0:34:21.140 --> 0:34:22.660 You're going to get the link to that Marriage Week 0:34:22.660 --> 0:34:27.380 website and the link to Arlene's book, Making Marriage Easier. 0:34:27.580 --> 0:34:31.700 Text marriage to (800) 555-7898.