S1: Today on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. We're learning to
S1: step up and into our calling.
S2: And what God is saying is that nothing can make
S2: you happy besides me. So if you pray with the
S2: wrong motives, then God's not going to answer your prayer
S2: because you're substituting your answer for prayer as your fulfillment
S2: for God.
S1: And welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, president of
S1: Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New Life
S1: Community Church in Chicago. Well, Mark, you've said before that
S1: most of us live well below our calling from God
S1: and that the impact most of us could have on
S1: others really should be much greater.
S2: Yes, absolutely. And oftentimes the main issue is our attitude.
S2: Our attitude has to do with our mindset towards life,
S2: towards others and towards God. As we jump into this passage,
S2: there's three main questions that we're answering. What is the
S2: real source of our bad attitude? Why do spiritual people
S2: get stuck in negative cycles of bad attitudes? And how
S2: do we step up to our new attitude?
S1: All right, well, this begins a new series today entitled
S1: Step Up Living Higher. Here's Mark Jobe with today's bold steps.
S2: I believe that attitude is one of the key factors
S2: that determine how we live our life, and how we
S2: see our world. I believe that attitude can literally make
S2: you or break you. Your attitude has to do with
S2: the way you perceive the world and how you choose
S2: to see your world. Attitude affects everything. How about it?
S2: Have you ever run into a person with a bad attitude?
S2: Come on, we all have. I'm not going to ask
S2: you to raise your hand if you're one of those
S2: people with a bad attitude. Maybe you wake up in
S2: the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and you
S2: know you have a bad attitude. Most of us, if
S2: we have a bad attitude and we all do have
S2: days where we have a bad attitude. And so I
S2: wanted to say, why do you have a bad attitude?
S2: Most of us tend to blame our bad attitude on
S2: someone else, on our circumstances, on on some other person,
S2: on some other thing. You say, well, why do you
S2: have a bad attitude? Well, you know, you know my husband,
S2: he's just aggravating me lately. Why do you have a
S2: bad attitude? My boss boy, he's just on me, and
S2: I just. Why do you have a bad attitude? You know,
S2: the economy, the bills. I just we tend to blame
S2: our attitude On other people and on other things. But
S2: here's what I want you to to understand today, and
S2: I want you to debunk the myth of your attitude
S2: is a result of somewhere else. I want you to
S2: hear me well. Your attitude is absolutely, 100% unequivocally your choice.
S2: You are the determining factor of what attitudes you have
S2: or don't have. No one can dictate your attitude but you.
S2: You are responsible for your attitude. I love what, um.
S2: Victor Frank, a concentration camp survivor, said everything can be
S2: taken from a man. But one thing to choose one's
S2: attitude in any given set of Circumstances and he was
S2: a concentration camp survivor. You determine your attitude. So I
S2: want you to turn in your Bibles to James chapter four.
S2: I'm going to begin reading in verse four of James
S2: chapter four, and I'm going to ask you to stand
S2: briefly with me as I read the word. James asked
S2: this question. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't
S2: they come from your desires that battle within you? You
S2: want something, but you don't get it. You kill, you covet.
S2: But you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and
S2: you fight and do not have because you do not
S2: ask God. He goes on to tell us when you ask,
S2: you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong
S2: motives That you may spend what you get on your pleasures,
S2: you adulterous people. Don't you know that friendship with the
S2: world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be
S2: a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
S2: Or do you think that scripture says without reason, that
S2: the spirit he caused to live, live in us envies
S2: intently the Word of God? You may be seated. So
S2: as we talk about attitudes, I want to answer three questions.
S2: The first question I want to answer is what is
S2: the real source of our bad attitudes? The second question is,
S2: why do spiritual people get stuck in negative cycles of
S2: bad attitudes? And the third question is this how do
S2: I step up to my new attitude? So let's start
S2: with the first question what is the real source of
S2: bad attitudes? James says, what causes fights and quarrels among you.
S2: What causes you to fight and quarrel? What causes the
S2: conflicts that are among you? He says, don't they come
S2: from the desires that battle within you? You see, the
S2: real source of bad attitudes is not the people around us.
S2: It's not our boss, our spouse, our parents. It's not
S2: the system. The real source of our bad attitude is what?
S2: What James tells us is this. That you and I
S2: have desires in our heart. We want things. We have dreams.
S2: We have desires. We have areas that we want fulfilled
S2: in our lives. And so we have desires that we're pursuing.
S2: And when someone comes into our life that makes it
S2: feel like they're keeping us from what we want or
S2: what we need. Then we become angry at the person
S2: that we feel is keeping us from the desires that
S2: we really want. For example, you could be a have
S2: a 11 or 12 year old son or daughter at
S2: home and they want to grow up. They want to
S2: feel free. They want to feel like I'm no longer
S2: a little kid. I'm a grown up little adult. And
S2: so when their parent says, no, you can't do this,
S2: and no, you can't watch Rated-r movies. And no, you
S2: can't spend six hours on your Xbox every day. And no,
S2: you can't be unsupervised out there. Then they start getting
S2: angry at their parents because what they want is freedom
S2: and liberty, and they feel like Mom and dad are saying, no, no, no,
S2: you can't. So then they cop an attitude towards their
S2: parents because they feel like all I want to do
S2: is feel free and you're keeping me from that freedom.
S2: How many parents know what I'm talking about? How many
S2: of you have 12 or 13 year olds that have
S2: perfected the rolling of the eyes? How many of you
S2: want to say, is there something wrong with your eyes? Why?
S2: Because they perceive that I want to grow up and
S2: you're not letting me grow up. So since you're not
S2: letting me grow up, I'm angry towards you. I have
S2: an attitude towards you. And how many parents have come
S2: to me and say, I don't know what's happening with
S2: my teen? They always have an attitude. Or maybe you're
S2: a married woman, and all your life you've felt like
S2: what you want to be is you just want to
S2: feel loved, appreciated, value. And when you were single, you
S2: finally found that man that you thought would meet your dreams.
S2: That man that would treat you like a lady. That
S2: man that cared about how you were feeling, that man
S2: that protected you and watched over you. And you remember
S2: how you felt in the early days. You felt so
S2: special and loved and cared for and valued, and you thought, finally,
S2: I'm going to be happy. And then somewhere down the
S2: road of marriage, it seemed like that man that was
S2: watching out and taking care and looking out and made
S2: you feel special, that they got distracted. And now they
S2: were into their jobs and other things, and suddenly you
S2: started feeling like, hey, I'm here still. You know what's
S2: going on? And kids came and payments and car payments
S2: and mortgage payments and responsibilities, and then suddenly all you
S2: want is to be happy, feel loved, and that person
S2: that was making you feel loved no longer is making
S2: you feel loved. And so then suddenly you feel like
S2: you are keeping me from what I want. I want
S2: to feel loved. I want to feel valued. But you're
S2: no longer valuing me. So there's an attitude, an anger
S2: or resentment. You are no longer making me feel valued.
S2: So I'm angry at you because I want something. And
S2: you are standing in the way of me getting the
S2: one thing that I want. James says that quarrels and fights.
S2: Are birthed out of unfulfilled desires. The real problem is
S2: unfulfilled desires that cause frustration and anger towards those things,
S2: or people that you believe are holding you back from
S2: your fulfillment. Persistent bad attitudes are nurtured in the cradle
S2: of filth, of filling our life outside of God. James
S2: goes on to say that you want something, but you
S2: don't get it. How many of you know that you don't?
S2: You don't always get what you always want when you
S2: want it. Just a big life lesson. You don't always
S2: get everything you want right when you want it. Just
S2: part of life. Life is not that way. It doesn't
S2: always happen. James says you want something, but you don't
S2: get it. And so he says, you kill and you covet.
S2: You say, well, I'm not a murderer, but how many
S2: of you know there's different ways of killing? That Jesus said,
S2: if you hate someone, that you have already become a
S2: murderer in your own heart because you you hate that
S2: person and want damage, you've killed them in your heart.
S2: And sometimes we become so angry at people and things,
S2: and we can't compartmentalize our anger. If you get angry
S2: at your husband and you're resentful and full of anger
S2: at him, your bad attitude is going to splash over
S2: to your children and in your job and in your
S2: other relationships. Because you cannot contain a bad attitude towards
S2: one person, your bad attitude will spill over into other
S2: areas of your life as well.
S1: This is Bold Steps with pastor Mark Jobe reported in
S1: our message for just a moment to talk a little
S1: bit about our Bold Partner program. Mark, we're so appreciative
S1: of listeners who give faithfully to bold steps. It really
S1: does help a great deal in the production and distribution
S1: of this program. I want to especially thank those listeners
S1: who give at a level of $30 or more each month.
S1: We're grateful for every gift, but for those who give
S1: $30 or more each month, there's some great benefits.
S3: Yeah. If you give $30 or more to. Bold steps,
S3: then you get a significant discount. I believe it's.
S1: 50%.
S3: 50%. That's a huge discount. And we have some just
S3: great books coming out every single month.
S1: I'm astounded at the productivity of Moody Publishers, and the
S1: titles they release every month are incredible.
S3: They really are. And I'm holding some books in my
S3: hand right now that I'm thinking, man, I want to
S3: read these. For example, Becky Harling has a six week
S3: study for The Anxious Heart called The Extraordinary Power of Praise.
S3: A lot of people could read that, or the four
S3: Habits of Raising joy filled kids. A lot of parents
S3: want to get that one. Here's another interesting one. It's
S3: called the visual word. And this is illustrated outlines of
S3: New Testament books. And this is a big one with
S3: a lot of photos and pictures.
S1: Fantastic. Yeah.
S3: Or Sky gilani's. What if Jesus was serious about prayer
S3: or questioning Christianity. Is there more to the story? I mean,
S3: these are some phenomenal books that you get at 50% discount.
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S1: Click on that and we'd love to have you join
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S1: All right Mark, thank you. Let's return to your message.
S1: Step up to a higher attitude.
S2: So he says you kill and you covet, but you
S2: cannot have what you want. Listen, you quarrel and you fight.
S2: Most tension that exists in marriages that I've talked to
S2: are because the spouse is looking for something and feeling
S2: like their spouse is holding them back from it. Oftentimes
S2: what a woman is looking for is love and a
S2: sense of value and worth. And when she doesn't get
S2: it from her husband, then she resents it. Oftentimes, a
S2: man is looking for respect, and when he doesn't get
S2: it from his wife, then he begins to resist it
S2: as well. And many of the fights in that, that
S2: are in marriages revolve around those things. So he says,
S2: you quarrel and you fight. Listen, you do not have
S2: because you do not ask God. James is saying that
S2: you have a bad attitude because you can't get what
S2: you want. And when you can't get what you want,
S2: you start getting angry that you don't have what you
S2: want because you need it. You want it, and you
S2: feel like if I don't have this in my life,
S2: I can't be happy. And so you get angry at
S2: people and angry at circumstances, and you carry that anger
S2: around with you, and it creates a bad attitude in
S2: your life. And so you're you're slamming doors and kicking
S2: the dog, and you just you're cranky and crabby and
S2: people are saying, what's wrong with you because you want
S2: something and you can't have it. And so you're unhappy
S2: and you're angry at different people. And James says, you
S2: don't have this in your life because you're not coming
S2: to God. You're trying to get it from other people,
S2: but you're not asking God. You're not going to God
S2: and saying, God, I need this and you are the
S2: one that needs to fill me. Here's what he says.
S2: I want you to understand that persistent bad attitude is
S2: nurtured in the cradle of filling our lives outside of God.
S2: We quarrel and fight, but don't come to God, our
S2: true source, and humbly ask him. I want you to
S2: know this today. If you have a bad attitude, you're grumpy,
S2: you're grouchy, you're negative, you're critical. You just have this
S2: bad attitude towards life. You can blame other people and
S2: blame your circumstances. Blame your mother, father, your husband, your wife,
S2: your kids, your boss. The economy, the government, city hall,
S2: the IRS. There's a lot of people to blame. But ultimately,
S2: you are the one responsible for your attitude. And when
S2: you don't have what you want and can't get what
S2: you want, God says, have you tried looking to me?
S2: Look to the source of what you really need. I
S2: believe that God, that most people are looking to fill
S2: their lives with something that only God can give them.
S2: I believe that there's many people in life that are
S2: trying to get something from someone, but haven't realized that
S2: only God can fill the vacuum of their heart. Plato said,
S2: there's a God shaped vacuum in every person's life. There's
S2: a part of you that only God can fill. And
S2: maybe your husband, he could be the perfect husband and
S2: give you flowers often, and write you notes and encourage
S2: you and try to value you and try to appreciate you.
S2: But ultimately, that would never fill a vacuum that only
S2: God can fill. There's a part of your heart that
S2: no man, no woman, no job, no promotion, no finances,
S2: nothing can fill but God himself. And God says you want,
S2: but you don't have. But you never you have not
S2: asked me. And some may say, well, pastor, I did
S2: ask God, and I have come to God. And so
S2: James answers that question, why do spiritual people get stuck
S2: in negative cycles. Look at what he says in verse three.
S2: When you ask, when you ask God, you do not
S2: receive because you ask with the wrong motives. So some
S2: of you are asking God. He says, but you're coming
S2: to God with the wrong motives when you ask. That
S2: you may spend what you get on your own pleasures.
S2: He says, some of you feel like you're being held
S2: back from what you want, and so you come to
S2: God and you say, God, please give me what I want. Please, Lord,
S2: give me what I want. Please, I need it. Please, Lord,
S2: open up the door. And he says, and you're not receiving.
S2: And God's not answering your prayer, partly because you're asking
S2: for the wrong motives. You're saying, oh, Lord, I really
S2: need this job promotion. Oh, God, I really need it. Oh, Lord,
S2: if you would open those doors, First of all, you
S2: got angry because you felt people were keeping you back.
S2: Then you came to God and you said God opened
S2: the doors. If I could only get that $20,000 raise, Lord.
S2: If that could get that, then all my problems would
S2: be solved. Oh, God. Please. But God is saying you
S2: ask and you do not receive because your motives are wrong.
S2: You're not asking to get that raise and to get
S2: those so that you can pay your bills and be
S2: generous and live in a place you're asking so that
S2: you can get it, so that you can get that
S2: extra money just to spend on yourself and just to
S2: to satisfy yourself, thinking that that's going to fill you,
S2: but it never will. How many of you know you
S2: can ask even pray with wrong motives? God doesn't always
S2: answer our prayer because sometimes our prayers the worst thing.
S2: If God were to answer, it would be the worst
S2: thing for you. I've had people come up to me
S2: and say, look, pastor, I'm praying that that that girl
S2: over there would be my wife And I know the girl.
S2: I'm thinking, oh boy, if you only knew you'd be
S2: thanking God for not answering your prayer. Sometimes what we
S2: pray for would be the worst thing for us because
S2: we're really not asking, oh, God, is this what you
S2: want for me? Is this the best for me? Can
S2: I serve you better, glorify you better, follow you better.
S2: We're asking. I want it because I think it'll make
S2: me happy. And what God is saying is that nothing
S2: can make you happy besides me. So if you pray
S2: with the wrong motives, if you pray with the wrong motives,
S2: then God's not going to answer your prayer because you're
S2: substituting your answer for prayer as your fulfillment for God.
S2: And so he says, you pray and you don't get
S2: an answer to your prayer because you ask with the
S2: wrong motives so that you could spend on your pleasures,
S2: he says to. These people, you adulterous people. And here's
S2: what I want you to understand. Spiritual adultery is the
S2: pursuit of fulfillment and happiness outside of God's plan and covenant.
S2: He says, you adulterous people, do you not know that
S2: friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who
S2: chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an
S2: enemy of God. What does this mean? Well, he's not
S2: talking about not having friends in the world. He's not
S2: talking about you can't have friends outside of the church.
S2: That's not what this verse says. Jesus tells us we
S2: are to be in the world, but not of the world.
S2: He's saying friendship with the world system. When you try
S2: to get your happiness from other things instead of pursuing God,
S2: God says you're committing spiritual adultery.
S1: This is bold steps. You're listening to the Bible teaching
S1: of Mark job, and today's message is titled Stepping up
S1: to a Higher Attitude. We'll continue with part two of
S1: this lesson when we come back tomorrow. If you missed
S1: any portion today, or if you'd like to catch up
S1: on a previous message from Mark, you can do that
S1: online at Bold Steps. Org. There you'll also discover a
S1: wide variety of other faith building resources, including this month's
S1: Bold Step gift. In times like these, it's natural to
S1: feel unsettled by the dramatic changes reshaping our world. But
S1: what if these challenging days aren't just something to endure,
S1: but rather a unique moment pregnant with possibility? That's the
S1: compelling message in this month's Bold Step gift. Mark Sayer's book,
S1: A Non-anxious presence, offers a fresh framework for understanding and
S1: engaging with our rapidly shifting culture. Instead of anxiety about change,
S1: you'll discover how to maintain steady faith and bold vision
S1: even in turbulent times. Now, this resource couldn't be more timely.
S1: God is moving in powerful ways, even through circumstances that
S1: may seem chaotic. Learn to recognize divine opportunities in the
S1: midst of disruption, and lead others with wisdom and hope.
S1: By requesting your copy of a Non-anxious presence, we'll send
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S1: Thank you so much for your support. If you've got
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S1: And that's the end of today's program. But join us
S1: again tomorrow when we'll discover why trying to fulfill life
S1: outside of God's will just doesn't work. Our message comes
S1: from our series titled Step Up Living Higher. I'm Wayne Shepherd.
S1: Be listening Wednesday to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold
S1: steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of
S1: Moody Bible Institute.