WEBVTT - The Daughter Factor – Part 1 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:03.920 Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe helps us recognize just 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:07.880 how much our parental relationships impact our relationship with God. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.080 I believe that some of you really do embrace who 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:12.760 God has called you to be. To be able to 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:15.040 love like God has called you, to love, to be 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:18.360 able to impart to your children if you have them, 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:21.000 or love your husband if you have one or your 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:23.440 kids that you're going to have to deal with this 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:24.680 father wound. 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:40.320 Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:42.960 of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New Life 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:46.479 Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Mark, today you're 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:48.599 going to help us understand that how we view our 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.560 earthly father and mother can greatly influence how we see 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:54.720 not only ourselves, but how we view and respond to God. 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.280 Yes. And this message, by the way, was delivered to 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:02.600 about 800 women. So this was an all women audience. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:08.039 And every time I talk about the daughter, the father 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:16.839 daughter factor, there is a deep, deep emotion. Invariably, women 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:21.360 will begin to weep and cry because there's so much, uh, 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:26.920 both so much good, yet so much sadness and brokenness 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:31.640 around the father daughter factor. And so whether you have 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.280 had a good or bad relationship with your father, I 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:36.720 want you to know you've been deeply influenced by that. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:39.560 But you have a perfect father now that wants to 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:43.160 heal you and bring wholeness to your life, that this 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:44.880 message is all about that. 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.760 Yeah. So whether you're a father or a mother, let's 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:50.760 pay attention to God's Word here on bold steps. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:55.080 You know, some of you heard me tell this story before, 0:01:55.080 --> 0:02:00.160 but my wife and I were married for about six 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:05.930 years before we had our first child. I was busy 0:02:05.930 --> 0:02:10.570 in ministry a lot on our plate, and so I 0:02:10.570 --> 0:02:13.489 was okay with not having any kids. At the time. 0:02:13.490 --> 0:02:16.650 I wanted kids, but I was okay with it. My 0:02:16.650 --> 0:02:20.930 wife had this instinct, though, that the longer we were married, 0:02:21.410 --> 0:02:24.770 the more she just wanted to be a mother. She 0:02:24.770 --> 0:02:29.810 wanted a baby. And um, after a while we were 0:02:29.810 --> 0:02:33.530 doing everything we were supposed to be doing and having 0:02:33.530 --> 0:02:39.850 fun doing it, but no baby was coming. So we 0:02:39.889 --> 0:02:43.210 finally said, you know something? Let's let's check this out. 0:02:43.210 --> 0:02:48.370 So we did our initial doctor's visit, but we decided 0:02:48.370 --> 0:02:49.970 the doctor said, yeah, we're going to have to do 0:02:49.970 --> 0:02:53.169 some more tests. Something's definitely wrong. And so we said, well, 0:02:53.210 --> 0:02:54.770 you know, we're going to go to the elders, ask 0:02:54.770 --> 0:02:56.450 them to pray for us. And so we went to 0:02:56.490 --> 0:02:59.730 the elders. They anointed us with oil. They laid hands 0:02:59.730 --> 0:03:02.730 on us and they prayed that we would have a child, 0:03:02.730 --> 0:03:04.970 that God would open the womb and that we would 0:03:04.970 --> 0:03:07.489 have a child. And lo and behold, it was just 0:03:07.490 --> 0:03:11.650 a few, uh, a few weeks later that my wife, 0:03:11.650 --> 0:03:14.850 I walked in and there was this thing hanging with 0:03:14.850 --> 0:03:18.450 the balloon from the ceiling that I didn't quite understand 0:03:18.450 --> 0:03:20.410 what it was. And when I looked at it, it 0:03:20.410 --> 0:03:22.130 looked like a thermometer to me. And I said, what 0:03:22.130 --> 0:03:25.410 is this? And she's like, I'm pregnant. And we were like, whoa, 0:03:25.530 --> 0:03:31.450 crazy excited, super pumped up about it. And then, of course, 0:03:31.450 --> 0:03:35.490 the journey begins. This was back in the day where 0:03:35.490 --> 0:03:39.050 you were. You had to go to, uh, like classes. 0:03:39.090 --> 0:03:40.650 And she said, well, are you going to come to 0:03:40.690 --> 0:03:44.090 birthing classes? I'm like, isn't that your department? Why do 0:03:44.090 --> 0:03:47.089 I have to go? I mean, no, that's the thing. 0:03:47.090 --> 0:03:49.810 You have to be the coach. And so naively, I 0:03:49.850 --> 0:03:56.250 said yes. So here I find myself down at Northwestern Hospital, 0:03:56.690 --> 0:03:59.290 you know, with a bunch of other couples. And, you know, 0:03:59.330 --> 0:04:03.780 we're simulating birth. And so, you know, they're kind of 0:04:03.820 --> 0:04:07.580 coaching us rubber back and, you know, comforter. And then 0:04:07.580 --> 0:04:09.940 we have a little baby doll we're playing with. I'm like, hey, 0:04:09.980 --> 0:04:12.660 is shouldn't the doctor be doing this? I, I'm just 0:04:12.660 --> 0:04:16.020 going to be there. I don't I'm not supposed to 0:04:16.060 --> 0:04:19.460 know how I'm not giving birth. Right. But when it's 0:04:19.460 --> 0:04:23.500 all over, I got a t shirt that said coach. 0:04:25.220 --> 0:04:31.700 So I was like, I got this. So the day 0:04:31.700 --> 0:04:34.779 came nine months into it. I've been talking to this 0:04:34.779 --> 0:04:38.100 little baby. They said it had the heartbeat of a boy. 0:04:38.220 --> 0:04:40.140 We didn't want to know until the baby was born, 0:04:40.140 --> 0:04:41.580 but they said it was kind of the heartbeat of 0:04:41.580 --> 0:04:43.940 a boy. So I'm like, hey, champ, hey, dude, you're 0:04:43.940 --> 0:04:47.179 going to come out, get ready, little man of God. 0:04:47.180 --> 0:04:51.419 So I'm talking got the name down and the day comes, 0:04:51.420 --> 0:04:55.380 she starts to go into labor pains. And she said, oh, 0:04:55.420 --> 0:04:58.099 I think it's I think it's coming. I said, well, babe, 0:04:58.100 --> 0:05:01.460 I'm the coach, you know, let's time it. You know 0:05:01.500 --> 0:05:03.820 we don't do anything. You know I got this. We 0:05:03.860 --> 0:05:07.060 time it. No. You're okay. And then we're all smiling. 0:05:07.100 --> 0:05:09.659 We had our bags packed, and let's go get our 0:05:09.660 --> 0:05:12.740 bags and. Oh, wait. Oh, I feel it. And so 0:05:12.740 --> 0:05:15.380 I said, okay, we got this. And I went into 0:05:15.380 --> 0:05:22.140 another room, and then I heard this blood curdling scream 0:05:23.260 --> 0:05:27.099 come from the other room. And so I ran over. 0:05:27.100 --> 0:05:30.300 I said, are you okay? She said, I think I 0:05:30.300 --> 0:05:35.820 broke my back. And I said, no, baby, it's labor pains. 0:05:35.820 --> 0:05:37.460 I think I broke my I said, maybe you did 0:05:37.500 --> 0:05:42.140 break your back, that we didn't cover this in coaching stuff. 0:05:44.380 --> 0:05:47.820 She was in back labor. And if any of you 0:05:47.860 --> 0:05:50.859 went through back labor, you know, so everything went dark 0:05:50.860 --> 0:05:54.700 from there. My dad actually drove us to the hospital, 0:05:54.740 --> 0:05:56.500 got in the car. He loved it because he could 0:05:56.500 --> 0:05:58.980 go through red lights. And so my mom and dad 0:05:58.980 --> 0:06:00.950 were in the front seat. We were in the back seat. 0:06:00.950 --> 0:06:04.870 I'm comforting. There's pain in her face, there's tears. And 0:06:04.870 --> 0:06:10.790 we're on 294 going down to Northwestern Apprentice Hospital. And 0:06:10.790 --> 0:06:13.310 she looks at me. She's grabbing my hand real tight, 0:06:13.350 --> 0:06:16.390 looks at me, and she says to me, she says, 0:06:16.390 --> 0:06:21.910 Why is God letting me go through this? The pastor 0:06:21.910 --> 0:06:23.630 in me wanted to say, well, turn in your Bible 0:06:23.630 --> 0:06:28.430 to Genesis chapter three, because you know the curse. Before 0:06:28.430 --> 0:06:31.830 the curse, there was no there was no pain in childbearing. 0:06:31.990 --> 0:06:33.589 So I don't know how. I don't know how it 0:06:33.589 --> 0:06:35.470 was before the curse. I think people would gather in 0:06:35.470 --> 0:06:38.710 a picnic and say, oh, she's going to have a baby. Oh, great. 0:06:38.710 --> 0:06:41.070 Go behind the tree. Oh. It's happening. Hey, I think 0:06:41.070 --> 0:06:45.350 it's coming out. Here it is. So I wanted to 0:06:45.350 --> 0:06:48.910 go there. I also wanted to say we prayed for this, remember? 0:06:48.910 --> 0:06:51.429 We prayed for this. But I looked in her eyes 0:06:51.430 --> 0:06:54.510 and I said, I don't know why you're going through this. I, 0:06:54.830 --> 0:07:01.630 I don't know, honey. We got to the hospital. 28 0:07:01.630 --> 0:07:08.549 hours later. I was thanking God. Thank you. I'm a man, Lord. 0:07:08.550 --> 0:07:10.630 Thank you. I'm a man, Lord, and I don't have 0:07:10.630 --> 0:07:18.630 to go through childbirth. Finally, 28 hours later, emergency C-section. 0:07:19.630 --> 0:07:23.830 They I'm watching what's happening because they have a little 0:07:23.870 --> 0:07:26.590 sheet there. She doesn't know what's happening, but I'm seeing, like, 0:07:26.790 --> 0:07:29.430 cut her open. I'm trying not to faint. I'm saying 0:07:29.430 --> 0:07:32.830 you're okay, honey. I'm looking. This is major. And they 0:07:33.910 --> 0:07:39.670 pull out this baby and the nurse says it's a girl. 0:07:42.550 --> 0:07:48.430 I said, it's a girl. Dee was kind of drugged, 0:07:48.430 --> 0:07:53.150 and she said, it's a girl. But I tell you what. 0:07:53.150 --> 0:07:56.790 I actually cut the umbilical cord. It was scary. Like, 0:07:56.790 --> 0:07:58.630 I don't want to cut too close. I don't know, 0:07:58.670 --> 0:08:02.480 you cut it. No, I. But I have to tell you, 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:07.720 the heart of a father was born that day. And 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:12.200 I want to tell you something. It was like changing 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:17.320 gears when it was a girl, because I went from buddy, hey, 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:22.080 guy to like, this is my little girl. There was 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:23.560 a male nurse in there. I want to say, get 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:24.960 out of my room. This is my girl. She didn't 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:26.640 have any clothes on. You know. What are you doing 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:32.440 in here? Totally a shift that happened to me. But 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:34.760 for the first time in my life, for the very 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:39.720 first time in my entire life, I felt the heartbeat 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:44.840 of a father. I held my little baby girl. I 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.920 have a picture here of when she was little. Right there. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:53.439 That's a little baby girl. I know you're saying. Oh, 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:57.920 her and laughing at me, but. But that my little 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:03.560 baby girl, little Marissa, was born, and I felt the 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.679 heartbeat of a father for the first time. And I 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:12.400 can't even describe to you the powerful emotion, the deep connection, 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:17.640 the sense of protection, the desire that she would know 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:23.120 her value and her worth. The awareness that she's coming 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:28.440 into a deeply troubled, chaotic, broken world. And that I 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.560 was having to raise her in this crazy world with 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:40.760 a lot of crazy people. As she grew every birthday, 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:43.640 I'd write her a letter. When she turned one, I 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.280 wrote her a letter because I wanted her to know 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:49.160 who she was. And the letter would go something like, 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:51.400 you're only one year old right now. You don't even. 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:53.440 You can't read this. But one day I want you 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.040 to understand it. I want you to know who you 0:09:56.040 --> 0:10:00.570 are to me. You're starting to walk. You fall a lot, 0:10:01.730 --> 0:10:06.890 but we already see how bright you are. She grew 0:10:06.890 --> 0:10:10.410 up so fast. When she was ready to go to college, 0:10:11.770 --> 0:10:14.050 I went and made a copy of all those letters. 0:10:15.770 --> 0:10:20.050 I was driving in the car with a copy of 0:10:20.090 --> 0:10:23.890 the letters I'd written her, and my wife called me 0:10:24.530 --> 0:10:27.010 and I was thinking, I'm sending her off to college. 0:10:28.410 --> 0:10:30.570 And I actually was crying like a baby when I 0:10:30.570 --> 0:10:33.650 was driving the car. My wife calls me and she says, hey, 0:10:33.690 --> 0:10:42.770 are you coming home? She said, what's wrong? My na go, go. 0:10:47.410 --> 0:10:52.850 I'll fast forward. But the day came that, um, I 0:10:52.850 --> 0:10:55.610 married her. I walked her down the aisle and then 0:10:55.610 --> 0:10:59.050 turned around and married her. We have a picture of her. Yeah, 0:10:59.050 --> 0:11:03.770 that was her. Marissa. I think we have a. That 0:11:03.770 --> 0:11:07.730 was her at her wedding. And then I held it 0:11:07.730 --> 0:11:11.929 together because I did the ceremony, I did great. I 0:11:11.970 --> 0:11:15.170 just talked through it, and I told my wife how 0:11:15.170 --> 0:11:17.329 proud I was. Hey, I didn't break down. I talked 0:11:17.330 --> 0:11:21.010 through it. And then we had the first dance at 0:11:21.010 --> 0:11:25.210 the wedding. And I said to her, I said, I've 0:11:25.210 --> 0:11:28.530 been your covering for now. I've been your dad. I'm 0:11:28.530 --> 0:11:30.730 handing you over to your husband, though he's going to 0:11:30.730 --> 0:11:33.730 be your new covering. And then we both lost it. 0:11:33.970 --> 0:11:39.530 We're slow dancing and we're crying again. Crying a lot. And, um. 0:11:39.970 --> 0:11:44.130 But recently, I had an experience that just reminded me 0:11:44.130 --> 0:11:51.010 of it. About six months ago, my daughter, she had 0:11:51.010 --> 0:11:54.650 a little baby boy already, but my daughter gave birth 0:11:54.650 --> 0:12:03.820 to her daughter. Little baby. Maeve. And I have to 0:12:03.820 --> 0:12:06.140 tell you something. I felt like it started all over. 0:12:06.900 --> 0:12:13.460 Like I'm holding this little baby and thinking, ah, this 0:12:13.460 --> 0:12:20.060 is a tough world you're being birthed into. And I 0:12:20.059 --> 0:12:22.860 want to talk to you about the heart of the 0:12:22.860 --> 0:12:27.579 father for you. Because as much as I care for 0:12:27.580 --> 0:12:30.860 my daughter, it's nothing compared to the heart of the 0:12:30.860 --> 0:12:32.660 father for us. 0:12:41.420 --> 0:12:44.580 You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. There's more 0:12:44.580 --> 0:12:46.660 coming up in a minute. But let me remind you 0:12:46.660 --> 0:12:49.220 that all of these daily lessons are available for listening 0:12:49.220 --> 0:12:53.820 anytime on our website. Bold steps. And if you want 0:12:53.820 --> 0:12:56.300 to enjoy these Bible lessons on the move, whether you're 0:12:56.300 --> 0:13:00.020 traveling or exercising, you'll love our podcast. Find us on 0:13:00.100 --> 0:13:03.540 most popular podcast platforms by searching for bold steps with 0:13:03.540 --> 0:13:06.980 doctor Mark Jobe. Remember to hit the subscribe button and 0:13:06.980 --> 0:13:09.060 also leave a five star review with a comment to 0:13:09.100 --> 0:13:12.500 help others discover the show. And to stay inspired and 0:13:12.500 --> 0:13:15.140 encourage even beyond this program, be sure to download the 0:13:15.179 --> 0:13:18.540 Bold Steps app. It's packed with both video and audio 0:13:18.540 --> 0:13:22.380 content designed to uplift and strengthen your faith with easy 0:13:22.380 --> 0:13:25.700 access to all of our teachings, messages, and more. It's 0:13:25.700 --> 0:13:28.020 the perfect way to stay connected and grow in your 0:13:28.020 --> 0:13:31.220 walk with God. So don't miss out! Download the Bold 0:13:31.220 --> 0:13:34.860 Steps app today. And have you subscribed to Mark's YouTube 0:13:34.860 --> 0:13:37.060 channel yet? This is a great way to get his 0:13:37.059 --> 0:13:40.380 latest video teachings and insights right on your phone or device. 0:13:40.660 --> 0:13:44.900 You'll find powerful messages on topics like marriage, identity, purpose, 0:13:44.900 --> 0:13:48.060 and what to do when you're feeling stuck. Mark regularly 0:13:48.059 --> 0:13:50.939 posts new content aimed at helping you apply biblical truth 0:13:50.940 --> 0:13:54.179 to your everyday life. Just search for Bold Steps Radio 0:13:54.179 --> 0:13:57.820 on YouTube and click the subscribe button. You'll find encouraging 0:13:57.820 --> 0:14:00.470 content that will help you take bold steps of faith 0:14:00.470 --> 0:14:03.670 all week long. Well, let's go ahead and get started 0:14:03.670 --> 0:14:06.070 with the second half of today's Bold Steps message. It's 0:14:06.070 --> 0:14:09.550 titled The Daughter Factor. And once again, here's Mark Jobe. 0:14:14.750 --> 0:14:16.310 Some of you have lived all your life with a 0:14:16.309 --> 0:14:26.150 father wound. A wound that's deep. There's been abandonment by some. 0:14:28.110 --> 0:14:33.190 Sometimes there's brokenness. Some of you were raised not even 0:14:33.190 --> 0:14:38.510 knowing who your father was. Some of you didn't speak 0:14:38.510 --> 0:14:42.350 to your father for a long time. Sometimes there was 0:14:42.350 --> 0:14:51.910 emotional neglect. Sometimes there's physical, sexual, or mental abuse. And 0:14:51.910 --> 0:14:56.070 when I say, father, for some of you, it doesn't 0:14:56.110 --> 0:15:01.920 elicit these warm feelings of. Yeah, father. And when you 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:03.720 came to God and started to read the Bible, it 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:07.440 wasn't like, oh, Father God, it makes you want to 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.600 open up and say he's there. For some of you, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.200 the image of a father means someone that is always 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.560 trying to make you measure up to something that you can't. 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:23.720 It elicits feelings of shame, of not being accepted, of 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.200 trying to earn something and never feeling quite like you 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:30.640 measure up. And I want to talk to you about that, 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:32.600 because I believe that some of you really need to 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.600 embrace who God has called you to be, to be 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.800 able to love like God has called you, to love, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.840 to be able to impart to your children if you 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.880 have them, or love your husband if you have one 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.000 or your kids that you're going to have to deal 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:50.000 with this father wound. The Bible tells us in first 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:53.600 John chapter three, see what great love the father has 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.880 lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.600 And that is what we are. The reason the world 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:05.600 does not know us is that it did not know him. 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.880 See what great love the father has lavished on us. 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.440 Some of you here have a real hard time connecting 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.800 with the love of the father, because you've never experienced 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:25.160 the genuine, powerful love of your earthly father. So there's 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:32.640 a disconnect with with the Heavenly Father. And there's a void. 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:38.520 There's a vacuum. There's a neutrality there. If you were 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.800 raised in a whole family with a loving father that nurtured, 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.960 that spoke into your life, no father is perfect, but 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:49.200 that spoke to your worth and spoke to your value, 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:55.280 then you. Unfortunately, it feels like nowadays are the exception. 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:00.120 The Bible tells us in John chapter 832 That we 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:03.680 will know the truth, and the truth shall set us free. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.280 When the Bible says, the love of the father, and 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.640 you have a disconnect with the love of the father. 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.720 It means that although you may hear the words God 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:19.199 loves you, it rings void a bit. When there's a 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.560 father vacuum in our life, it means oftentimes I've seen 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:27.520 it go into several extremes. When there's a father vacuum. 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.680 For some of you, it meant that you so desired 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.200 the approval of a man that you didn't get from 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:37.360 your father, that you threw out all your standards and 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:41.320 you became obsessed with having a man see your value. 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.520 And you would throw yourself into relationships that were toxic 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:49.440 and broken and unhealthy. Why? Because a man showed attention 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:51.840 to you and it drove you to. I just want 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:55.200 him to affirm me, value me, love me. And and 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.640 people would say, why do you let him treat you 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:02.409 that way? But so driven? Obsessed. Feeling incomplete with the man. 0:18:02.450 --> 0:18:04.690 Like I can't stand alone. Unless a man is there 0:18:04.690 --> 0:18:07.610 beside me. You know what often speaks to is the 0:18:07.609 --> 0:18:13.689 father vacuum. Amen. Others of you, because of the father 0:18:13.690 --> 0:18:19.650 vacuum and the hurt that's there, created barriers around yourself. 0:18:19.650 --> 0:18:22.609 Holding people at a distance. No other man is ever 0:18:22.609 --> 0:18:26.810 going to hurt me like I was hurt. And so 0:18:26.810 --> 0:18:34.450 you're tough. Exteriorly hold people at a distance because you 0:18:34.450 --> 0:18:41.410 say I'll never be hurt again. Others, when you come 0:18:41.410 --> 0:18:44.570 into the church and you hear the term father and 0:18:44.570 --> 0:18:50.530 you sing about the father love of God, it's hard 0:18:50.530 --> 0:18:53.050 for you to look up into the heavens and with 0:18:53.050 --> 0:18:55.609 the radiance in your face, because you want to look 0:18:55.609 --> 0:18:58.929 down at your feet and what comes to your mind 0:18:58.970 --> 0:19:02.700 is you again. Why aren't you? And you come into 0:19:02.700 --> 0:19:04.580 a place like this. And it feels like God is 0:19:04.580 --> 0:19:08.379 just scanning your sins and pointing them out one by one. 0:19:08.380 --> 0:19:11.900 And you feel shame and guilt and condemnation and not 0:19:11.900 --> 0:19:17.740 this incredible, powerful love of the father. That's called the 0:19:17.740 --> 0:19:23.460 father wound. Strongholds are built in our life. And oftentimes 0:19:23.460 --> 0:19:29.139 what happens with these strongholds is that, well, our life 0:19:29.140 --> 0:19:36.060 is kind of like this. We're a blank page. God 0:19:36.420 --> 0:19:40.179 has established households with a mother and father that love 0:19:40.180 --> 0:19:43.020 us and speak into our lives to protect us. But 0:19:43.020 --> 0:19:46.100 what happens in many of our lives is that that 0:19:46.100 --> 0:19:54.780 protection that God has placed over us gets punctured. Abandonment, divorce, abuse, 0:19:55.540 --> 0:20:00.260 critical spirit, addictions. And what happens in our life is 0:20:00.260 --> 0:20:02.980 that the seeds of lies can be easily planted in 0:20:02.980 --> 0:20:08.460 your life. You're not worth anything. You'll never count. There's 0:20:08.460 --> 0:20:12.660 something wrong with you. And those lies get planted in us. 0:20:13.260 --> 0:20:17.100 And those lies. Then stuff starts to grow. And let 0:20:17.100 --> 0:20:20.540 me tell you what happens is that those lies grow 0:20:20.540 --> 0:20:24.139 up and they get entangled around the core of our being. 0:20:24.500 --> 0:20:28.300 They affect our personality, how we talk, how we walk, 0:20:28.300 --> 0:20:30.619 who we hang with, who we date, how we marry, 0:20:30.660 --> 0:20:34.220 how we raise our kids. Because they've entwined themselves in 0:20:34.220 --> 0:20:37.780 our being. Lies have become. And for many of us, 0:20:37.780 --> 0:20:40.780 it's hard to distinguish what is truly me. And what 0:20:40.780 --> 0:20:43.180 is the lie that I'm that I've grown up with. 0:20:43.740 --> 0:20:50.340 If you've ever been abused at a young age, sexually, verbally, physically, 0:20:50.820 --> 0:20:53.460 there are lies, especially by someone that was supposed to 0:20:53.460 --> 0:20:57.540 protect you. There lies that were deeply embedded in your being. 0:20:57.940 --> 0:21:00.180 And most women that I talk talked to have really 0:21:00.180 --> 0:21:04.900 never dealt with those issues. You wake up one day 0:21:04.900 --> 0:21:08.980 and you realize what's wrong with me. Well, nothing's wrong 0:21:08.980 --> 0:21:12.100 with you. What's wrong with you is that you have 0:21:12.140 --> 0:21:16.859 allowed lies to inhibit some of your personality. You've allowed 0:21:16.859 --> 0:21:20.899 lies to so be entangled and enwrapped in who you are, 0:21:21.060 --> 0:21:23.699 that they do not let you function like the woman 0:21:23.700 --> 0:21:26.900 of God that he's called you to be. And here's 0:21:26.900 --> 0:21:29.220 what the Bible says. The Bible says you shall know 0:21:29.220 --> 0:21:33.580 the truth, and the truth shall set you free. 0:21:39.700 --> 0:21:42.340 This is bold steps. You're listening to the Bible teaching 0:21:42.380 --> 0:21:46.060 of Mark job. Today's message titled The Daughter Factor. It's 0:21:46.060 --> 0:21:48.380 only part one, so make sure you listen tomorrow when 0:21:48.380 --> 0:21:51.700 we continue this lesson. Remember, you can always revisit these 0:21:51.700 --> 0:21:55.939 daily messages on our website. Bold steps.org. And you know, 0:21:55.980 --> 0:21:58.260 right now we're offering a bold step gift just in 0:21:58.260 --> 0:22:01.550 time for Mother's Day. That goes along with today's subject. 0:22:01.590 --> 0:22:04.310 Many parents wonder how to help their daughters navigate the 0:22:04.310 --> 0:22:07.949 challenging tween years. That's why I'm grateful for this book. Lies. 0:22:07.990 --> 0:22:09.230 Girls believe. Mark. 0:22:09.470 --> 0:22:13.830 Yeah, we have the author, Dana Gresh, with us today 0:22:13.830 --> 0:22:17.830 in our studio, and I'm so excited about this resource 0:22:17.830 --> 0:22:22.950 because I think it's so needed. And so, Dana, tell me, uh, 0:22:22.950 --> 0:22:28.430 how does this book help facilitate, like conversations between specifically 0:22:28.430 --> 0:22:32.230 maybe a mother and her 11 year old daughter? 0:22:32.750 --> 0:22:35.030 That is the whole point of it. My heart beats 0:22:35.030 --> 0:22:37.910 for parents to be in the driver's seat of their 0:22:37.910 --> 0:22:42.270 moral development, their faith development, because God's Word tells us 0:22:42.270 --> 0:22:44.990 it's not the pastor. It's not the Christian author. It's 0:22:44.990 --> 0:22:48.630 not the Sunday school teacher. It's it's mom and dad 0:22:48.630 --> 0:22:51.550 who are meant to teach them biblical truth. And I 0:22:51.590 --> 0:22:53.910 guess the best way to answer your question is to 0:22:53.950 --> 0:22:56.710 sort of share a story of what happened. One of 0:22:56.710 --> 0:22:59.470 the lies in that book is I'm a Christian because. 0:22:59.510 --> 0:23:02.830 Fill in the blank. And when I surveyed these 1500 0:23:02.869 --> 0:23:04.909 tween girls to write the book, they would say things like, 0:23:04.910 --> 0:23:06.590 I'm a Christian because mom and dad are or I'm 0:23:06.590 --> 0:23:09.030 a Christian because I go to church or I'm a 0:23:09.030 --> 0:23:12.550 Christian because I was born one. Those, of course, are 0:23:12.550 --> 0:23:17.109 not biblical definitions of what defines Christianity or being a 0:23:17.109 --> 0:23:20.430 follower of Jesus. They have to understand their sinfulness. They 0:23:20.430 --> 0:23:23.830 have to believe that Jesus died on the cross in, in, 0:23:23.830 --> 0:23:26.510 in punishment for that sinfulness. And they have to say 0:23:26.510 --> 0:23:28.510 it with their mouth that they believe and receive him 0:23:28.510 --> 0:23:32.990 as their Savior. And so this girl is reading this book, 0:23:33.150 --> 0:23:35.909 and she turns to her mom, and she's like, mom, 0:23:36.590 --> 0:23:38.710 I read this in the book today. I don't think 0:23:38.710 --> 0:23:40.470 I'm a Christian. And they pulled to the side of 0:23:40.470 --> 0:23:43.190 the road. Mom and daughter have a conversation right there. 0:23:43.430 --> 0:23:47.510 Mom gets to participate in this sweet girl coming to 0:23:47.510 --> 0:23:50.230 the throne of Jesus for the first time in authenticity, 0:23:50.270 --> 0:23:52.950 surrendering her heart to Christ. And they're able to drive 0:23:52.950 --> 0:23:55.830 home and tell dad, guess what? She really is a 0:23:55.830 --> 0:23:59.070 Christian now. I hear stories like that every day as 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:02.480 the girls identify these lies, they have a eureka moment. 0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:04.640 And then they go to mom because the book is 0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:06.080 telling them, Go to mom. 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:10.000 Yeah, I love that. Love it, love it, love it. So, Wayne, 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:12.040 if one of our listeners wants to get this book, 0:24:12.040 --> 0:24:13.280 can you tell us how? 0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:15.639 I sure will. We will send a copy of Lies 0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:18.000 Girls Believe. When you make a donation of any amount 0:24:18.000 --> 0:24:22.080 to support Bold steps, just call us at 800. D.L. Moody. 0:24:22.400 --> 0:24:27.960 That's 803 56, 66, 39 or give online at Bold Steps. 0:24:30.200 --> 0:24:32.160 And you can also send your gift through the mail. 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:37.159 Write to us at 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 0:24:37.200 --> 0:24:40.240 60,006 ten. Just be sure to tell us you want 0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:43.520 a copy of Lies Girls Believe when you write, and 0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:45.679 you can easily step up from being just a listener 0:24:45.680 --> 0:24:48.160 of bold steps and actually become part of the team 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.680 today by signing up as a bold partner and supporting 0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:54.560 the ministry with a gift of any amount. When you 0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:57.400 give a monthly gift of $30 or more, though, you'll 0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:01.040 receive a number of personal benefits, including discounts on moody 0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:05.439 publisher items, special content from Mark and more. And becoming 0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:07.160 a bold partner is quick and easy when you go 0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:11.560 to bold steps.org. By the way, we'd love to hear 0:25:11.560 --> 0:25:13.679 from you and get you connected with our growing online 0:25:13.680 --> 0:25:16.920 community on our social media pages. You'll find us there 0:25:16.920 --> 0:25:20.840 on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, even TikTok. Just log in, search 0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:23.720 for Bold Steps Radio and be sure to subscribe or 0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:26.080 follow when you get to our page. Plus, you can 0:25:26.080 --> 0:25:28.679 always reach us directly through email. Just write to us 0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:34.000 at Bold Steps. Well, that's all the time we have today. 0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:36.399 Thanks for joining us. I'm Wayne Shepherd, inviting you to 0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:39.160 come back tomorrow, and we'll continue our message titled The 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:43.560 Daughter Factor. Don't miss Friday's edition of Bold Steps with 0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:48.480 Mark Jo. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, 0:25:48.680 --> 0:25:50.879 a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.