S1: Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe helps us recognize just
S1: how much our parental relationships impact our relationship with God.
S2: I believe that some of you really do embrace who
S2: God has called you to be. To be able to
S2: love like God has called you, to love, to be
S2: able to impart to your children if you have them,
S2: or love your husband if you have one or your
S2: kids that you're going to have to deal with this
S2: father wound.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president
S1: of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New Life
S1: Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Mark, today you're
S1: going to help us understand that how we view our
S1: earthly father and mother can greatly influence how we see
S1: not only ourselves, but how we view and respond to God.
S2: Yes. And this message, by the way, was delivered to
S2: about 800 women. So this was an all women audience.
S2: And every time I talk about the daughter, the father
S2: daughter factor, there is a deep, deep emotion. Invariably, women
S2: will begin to weep and cry because there's so much, uh,
S2: both so much good, yet so much sadness and brokenness
S2: around the father daughter factor. And so whether you have
S2: had a good or bad relationship with your father, I
S2: want you to know you've been deeply influenced by that.
S2: But you have a perfect father now that wants to
S2: heal you and bring wholeness to your life, that this
S2: message is all about that.
S1: Yeah. So whether you're a father or a mother, let's
S1: pay attention to God's Word here on bold steps.
S2: You know, some of you heard me tell this story before,
S2: but my wife and I were married for about six
S2: years before we had our first child. I was busy
S2: in ministry a lot on our plate, and so I
S2: was okay with not having any kids. At the time.
S2: I wanted kids, but I was okay with it. My
S2: wife had this instinct, though, that the longer we were married,
S2: the more she just wanted to be a mother. She
S2: wanted a baby. And um, after a while we were
S2: doing everything we were supposed to be doing and having
S2: fun doing it, but no baby was coming. So we
S2: finally said, you know something? Let's let's check this out.
S2: So we did our initial doctor's visit, but we decided
S2: the doctor said, yeah, we're going to have to do
S2: some more tests. Something's definitely wrong. And so we said, well,
S2: you know, we're going to go to the elders, ask
S2: them to pray for us. And so we went to
S2: the elders. They anointed us with oil. They laid hands
S2: on us and they prayed that we would have a child,
S2: that God would open the womb and that we would
S2: have a child. And lo and behold, it was just
S2: a few, uh, a few weeks later that my wife,
S2: I walked in and there was this thing hanging with
S2: the balloon from the ceiling that I didn't quite understand
S2: what it was. And when I looked at it, it
S2: looked like a thermometer to me. And I said, what
S2: is this? And she's like, I'm pregnant. And we were like, whoa,
S2: crazy excited, super pumped up about it. And then, of course,
S2: the journey begins. This was back in the day where
S2: you were. You had to go to, uh, like classes.
S2: And she said, well, are you going to come to
S2: birthing classes? I'm like, isn't that your department? Why do
S2: I have to go? I mean, no, that's the thing.
S2: You have to be the coach. And so naively, I
S2: said yes. So here I find myself down at Northwestern Hospital,
S2: you know, with a bunch of other couples. And, you know,
S2: we're simulating birth. And so, you know, they're kind of
S2: coaching us rubber back and, you know, comforter. And then
S2: we have a little baby doll we're playing with. I'm like, hey,
S2: is shouldn't the doctor be doing this? I, I'm just
S2: going to be there. I don't I'm not supposed to
S2: know how I'm not giving birth. Right. But when it's
S2: all over, I got a t shirt that said coach.
S2: So I was like, I got this. So the day
S2: came nine months into it. I've been talking to this
S2: little baby. They said it had the heartbeat of a boy.
S2: We didn't want to know until the baby was born,
S2: but they said it was kind of the heartbeat of
S2: a boy. So I'm like, hey, champ, hey, dude, you're
S2: going to come out, get ready, little man of God.
S2: So I'm talking got the name down and the day comes,
S2: she starts to go into labor pains. And she said, oh,
S2: I think it's I think it's coming. I said, well, babe,
S2: I'm the coach, you know, let's time it. You know
S2: we don't do anything. You know I got this. We
S2: time it. No. You're okay. And then we're all smiling.
S2: We had our bags packed, and let's go get our
S2: bags and. Oh, wait. Oh, I feel it. And so
S2: I said, okay, we got this. And I went into
S2: another room, and then I heard this blood curdling scream
S2: come from the other room. And so I ran over.
S2: I said, are you okay? She said, I think I
S2: broke my back. And I said, no, baby, it's labor pains.
S2: I think I broke my I said, maybe you did
S2: break your back, that we didn't cover this in coaching stuff.
S2: She was in back labor. And if any of you
S2: went through back labor, you know, so everything went dark
S2: from there. My dad actually drove us to the hospital,
S2: got in the car. He loved it because he could
S2: go through red lights. And so my mom and dad
S2: were in the front seat. We were in the back seat.
S2: I'm comforting. There's pain in her face, there's tears. And
S2: we're on 294 going down to Northwestern Apprentice Hospital. And
S2: she looks at me. She's grabbing my hand real tight,
S2: looks at me, and she says to me, she says,
S2: Why is God letting me go through this? The pastor
S2: in me wanted to say, well, turn in your Bible
S2: to Genesis chapter three, because you know the curse. Before
S2: the curse, there was no there was no pain in childbearing.
S2: So I don't know how. I don't know how it
S2: was before the curse. I think people would gather in
S2: a picnic and say, oh, she's going to have a baby. Oh, great.
S2: Go behind the tree. Oh. It's happening. Hey, I think
S2: it's coming out. Here it is. So I wanted to
S2: go there. I also wanted to say we prayed for this, remember?
S2: We prayed for this. But I looked in her eyes
S2: and I said, I don't know why you're going through this. I,
S2: I don't know, honey. We got to the hospital. 28
S2: hours later. I was thanking God. Thank you. I'm a man, Lord.
S2: Thank you. I'm a man, Lord, and I don't have
S2: to go through childbirth. Finally, 28 hours later, emergency C-section.
S2: They I'm watching what's happening because they have a little
S2: sheet there. She doesn't know what's happening, but I'm seeing, like,
S2: cut her open. I'm trying not to faint. I'm saying
S2: you're okay, honey. I'm looking. This is major. And they
S2: pull out this baby and the nurse says it's a girl.
S2: I said, it's a girl. Dee was kind of drugged,
S2: and she said, it's a girl. But I tell you what.
S2: I actually cut the umbilical cord. It was scary. Like,
S2: I don't want to cut too close. I don't know,
S2: you cut it. No, I. But I have to tell you,
S2: the heart of a father was born that day. And
S2: I want to tell you something. It was like changing
S2: gears when it was a girl, because I went from buddy, hey,
S2: guy to like, this is my little girl. There was
S2: a male nurse in there. I want to say, get
S2: out of my room. This is my girl. She didn't
S2: have any clothes on. You know. What are you doing
S2: in here? Totally a shift that happened to me. But
S2: for the first time in my life, for the very
S2: first time in my entire life, I felt the heartbeat
S2: of a father. I held my little baby girl. I
S2: have a picture here of when she was little. Right there.
S2: That's a little baby girl. I know you're saying. Oh,
S2: her and laughing at me, but. But that my little
S2: baby girl, little Marissa, was born, and I felt the
S2: heartbeat of a father for the first time. And I
S2: can't even describe to you the powerful emotion, the deep connection,
S2: the sense of protection, the desire that she would know
S2: her value and her worth. The awareness that she's coming
S2: into a deeply troubled, chaotic, broken world. And that I
S2: was having to raise her in this crazy world with
S2: a lot of crazy people. As she grew every birthday,
S2: I'd write her a letter. When she turned one, I
S2: wrote her a letter because I wanted her to know
S2: who she was. And the letter would go something like,
S2: you're only one year old right now. You don't even.
S2: You can't read this. But one day I want you
S2: to understand it. I want you to know who you
S2: are to me. You're starting to walk. You fall a lot,
S2: but we already see how bright you are. She grew
S2: up so fast. When she was ready to go to college,
S2: I went and made a copy of all those letters.
S2: I was driving in the car with a copy of
S2: the letters I'd written her, and my wife called me
S2: and I was thinking, I'm sending her off to college.
S2: And I actually was crying like a baby when I
S2: was driving the car. My wife calls me and she says, hey,
S2: are you coming home? She said, what's wrong? My na go, go.
S2: I'll fast forward. But the day came that, um, I
S2: married her. I walked her down the aisle and then
S2: turned around and married her. We have a picture of her. Yeah,
S2: that was her. Marissa. I think we have a. That
S2: was her at her wedding. And then I held it
S2: together because I did the ceremony, I did great. I
S2: just talked through it, and I told my wife how
S2: proud I was. Hey, I didn't break down. I talked
S2: through it. And then we had the first dance at
S2: the wedding. And I said to her, I said, I've
S2: been your covering for now. I've been your dad. I'm
S2: handing you over to your husband, though he's going to
S2: be your new covering. And then we both lost it.
S2: We're slow dancing and we're crying again. Crying a lot. And, um.
S2: But recently, I had an experience that just reminded me
S2: of it. About six months ago, my daughter, she had
S2: a little baby boy already, but my daughter gave birth
S2: to her daughter. Little baby. Maeve. And I have to
S2: tell you something. I felt like it started all over.
S2: Like I'm holding this little baby and thinking, ah, this
S2: is a tough world you're being birthed into. And I
S2: want to talk to you about the heart of the
S2: father for you. Because as much as I care for
S2: my daughter, it's nothing compared to the heart of the
S2: father for us.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. There's more
S1: coming up in a minute. But let me remind you
S1: that all of these daily lessons are available for listening
S1: anytime on our website. Bold steps. And if you want
S1: to enjoy these Bible lessons on the move, whether you're
S1: traveling or exercising, you'll love our podcast. Find us on
S1: most popular podcast platforms by searching for bold steps with
S1: doctor Mark Jobe. Remember to hit the subscribe button and
S1: also leave a five star review with a comment to
S1: help others discover the show. And to stay inspired and
S1: encourage even beyond this program, be sure to download the
S1: Bold Steps app. It's packed with both video and audio
S1: content designed to uplift and strengthen your faith with easy
S1: access to all of our teachings, messages, and more. It's
S1: the perfect way to stay connected and grow in your
S1: walk with God. So don't miss out! Download the Bold
S1: Steps app today. And have you subscribed to Mark's YouTube
S1: channel yet? This is a great way to get his
S1: latest video teachings and insights right on your phone or device.
S1: You'll find powerful messages on topics like marriage, identity, purpose,
S1: and what to do when you're feeling stuck. Mark regularly
S1: posts new content aimed at helping you apply biblical truth
S1: to your everyday life. Just search for Bold Steps Radio
S1: on YouTube and click the subscribe button. You'll find encouraging
S1: content that will help you take bold steps of faith
S1: all week long. Well, let's go ahead and get started
S1: with the second half of today's Bold Steps message. It's
S1: titled The Daughter Factor. And once again, here's Mark Jobe.
S2: Some of you have lived all your life with a
S2: father wound. A wound that's deep. There's been abandonment by some.
S2: Sometimes there's brokenness. Some of you were raised not even
S2: knowing who your father was. Some of you didn't speak
S2: to your father for a long time. Sometimes there was
S2: emotional neglect. Sometimes there's physical, sexual, or mental abuse. And
S2: when I say, father, for some of you, it doesn't
S2: elicit these warm feelings of. Yeah, father. And when you
S2: came to God and started to read the Bible, it
S2: wasn't like, oh, Father God, it makes you want to
S2: open up and say he's there. For some of you,
S2: the image of a father means someone that is always
S2: trying to make you measure up to something that you can't.
S2: It elicits feelings of shame, of not being accepted, of
S2: trying to earn something and never feeling quite like you
S2: measure up. And I want to talk to you about that,
S2: because I believe that some of you really need to
S2: embrace who God has called you to be, to be
S2: able to love like God has called you, to love,
S2: to be able to impart to your children if you
S2: have them, or love your husband if you have one
S2: or your kids that you're going to have to deal
S2: with this father wound. The Bible tells us in first
S2: John chapter three, see what great love the father has
S2: lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.
S2: And that is what we are. The reason the world
S2: does not know us is that it did not know him.
S2: See what great love the father has lavished on us.
S2: Some of you here have a real hard time connecting
S2: with the love of the father, because you've never experienced
S2: the genuine, powerful love of your earthly father. So there's
S2: a disconnect with with the Heavenly Father. And there's a void.
S2: There's a vacuum. There's a neutrality there. If you were
S2: raised in a whole family with a loving father that nurtured,
S2: that spoke into your life, no father is perfect, but
S2: that spoke to your worth and spoke to your value,
S2: then you. Unfortunately, it feels like nowadays are the exception.
S2: The Bible tells us in John chapter 832 That we
S2: will know the truth, and the truth shall set us free.
S2: When the Bible says, the love of the father, and
S2: you have a disconnect with the love of the father.
S2: It means that although you may hear the words God
S2: loves you, it rings void a bit. When there's a
S2: father vacuum in our life, it means oftentimes I've seen
S2: it go into several extremes. When there's a father vacuum.
S2: For some of you, it meant that you so desired
S2: the approval of a man that you didn't get from
S2: your father, that you threw out all your standards and
S2: you became obsessed with having a man see your value.
S2: And you would throw yourself into relationships that were toxic
S2: and broken and unhealthy. Why? Because a man showed attention
S2: to you and it drove you to. I just want
S2: him to affirm me, value me, love me. And and
S2: people would say, why do you let him treat you
S2: that way? But so driven? Obsessed. Feeling incomplete with the man.
S2: Like I can't stand alone. Unless a man is there
S2: beside me. You know what often speaks to is the
S2: father vacuum. Amen. Others of you, because of the father
S2: vacuum and the hurt that's there, created barriers around yourself.
S2: Holding people at a distance. No other man is ever
S2: going to hurt me like I was hurt. And so
S2: you're tough. Exteriorly hold people at a distance because you
S2: say I'll never be hurt again. Others, when you come
S2: into the church and you hear the term father and
S2: you sing about the father love of God, it's hard
S2: for you to look up into the heavens and with
S2: the radiance in your face, because you want to look
S2: down at your feet and what comes to your mind
S2: is you again. Why aren't you? And you come into
S2: a place like this. And it feels like God is
S2: just scanning your sins and pointing them out one by one.
S2: And you feel shame and guilt and condemnation and not
S2: this incredible, powerful love of the father. That's called the
S2: father wound. Strongholds are built in our life. And oftentimes
S2: what happens with these strongholds is that, well, our life
S2: is kind of like this. We're a blank page. God
S2: has established households with a mother and father that love
S2: us and speak into our lives to protect us. But
S2: what happens in many of our lives is that that
S2: protection that God has placed over us gets punctured. Abandonment, divorce, abuse,
S2: critical spirit, addictions. And what happens in our life is
S2: that the seeds of lies can be easily planted in
S2: your life. You're not worth anything. You'll never count. There's
S2: something wrong with you. And those lies get planted in us.
S2: And those lies. Then stuff starts to grow. And let
S2: me tell you what happens is that those lies grow
S2: up and they get entangled around the core of our being.
S2: They affect our personality, how we talk, how we walk,
S2: who we hang with, who we date, how we marry,
S2: how we raise our kids. Because they've entwined themselves in
S2: our being. Lies have become. And for many of us,
S2: it's hard to distinguish what is truly me. And what
S2: is the lie that I'm that I've grown up with.
S2: If you've ever been abused at a young age, sexually, verbally, physically,
S2: there are lies, especially by someone that was supposed to
S2: protect you. There lies that were deeply embedded in your being.
S2: And most women that I talk talked to have really
S2: never dealt with those issues. You wake up one day
S2: and you realize what's wrong with me. Well, nothing's wrong
S2: with you. What's wrong with you is that you have
S2: allowed lies to inhibit some of your personality. You've allowed
S2: lies to so be entangled and enwrapped in who you are,
S2: that they do not let you function like the woman
S2: of God that he's called you to be. And here's
S2: what the Bible says. The Bible says you shall know
S2: the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
S1: This is bold steps. You're listening to the Bible teaching
S1: of Mark job. Today's message titled The Daughter Factor. It's
S1: only part one, so make sure you listen tomorrow when
S1: we continue this lesson. Remember, you can always revisit these
S1: daily messages on our website. Bold steps.org. And you know,
S1: right now we're offering a bold step gift just in
S1: time for Mother's Day. That goes along with today's subject.
S1: Many parents wonder how to help their daughters navigate the
S1: challenging tween years. That's why I'm grateful for this book. Lies.
S1: Girls believe. Mark.
S3: Yeah, we have the author, Dana Gresh, with us today
S3: in our studio, and I'm so excited about this resource
S3: because I think it's so needed. And so, Dana, tell me, uh,
S3: how does this book help facilitate, like conversations between specifically
S3: maybe a mother and her 11 year old daughter?
S4: That is the whole point of it. My heart beats
S4: for parents to be in the driver's seat of their
S4: moral development, their faith development, because God's Word tells us
S4: it's not the pastor. It's not the Christian author. It's
S4: not the Sunday school teacher. It's it's mom and dad
S4: who are meant to teach them biblical truth. And I
S4: guess the best way to answer your question is to
S4: sort of share a story of what happened. One of
S4: the lies in that book is I'm a Christian because.
S4: Fill in the blank. And when I surveyed these 1500
S4: tween girls to write the book, they would say things like,
S4: I'm a Christian because mom and dad are or I'm
S4: a Christian because I go to church or I'm a
S4: Christian because I was born one. Those, of course, are
S4: not biblical definitions of what defines Christianity or being a
S4: follower of Jesus. They have to understand their sinfulness. They
S4: have to believe that Jesus died on the cross in, in,
S4: in punishment for that sinfulness. And they have to say
S4: it with their mouth that they believe and receive him
S4: as their Savior. And so this girl is reading this book,
S4: and she turns to her mom, and she's like, mom,
S4: I read this in the book today. I don't think
S4: I'm a Christian. And they pulled to the side of
S4: the road. Mom and daughter have a conversation right there.
S4: Mom gets to participate in this sweet girl coming to
S4: the throne of Jesus for the first time in authenticity,
S4: surrendering her heart to Christ. And they're able to drive
S4: home and tell dad, guess what? She really is a
S4: Christian now. I hear stories like that every day as
S4: the girls identify these lies, they have a eureka moment.
S4: And then they go to mom because the book is
S4: telling them, Go to mom.
S3: Yeah, I love that. Love it, love it, love it. So, Wayne,
S3: if one of our listeners wants to get this book,
S3: can you tell us how?
S1: I sure will. We will send a copy of Lies
S1: Girls Believe. When you make a donation of any amount
S1: to support Bold steps, just call us at 800. D.L. Moody.
S1: That's 803 56, 66, 39 or give online at Bold Steps.
S1: And you can also send your gift through the mail.
S1: Write to us at 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois
S1: 60,006 ten. Just be sure to tell us you want
S1: a copy of Lies Girls Believe when you write, and
S1: you can easily step up from being just a listener
S1: of bold steps and actually become part of the team
S1: today by signing up as a bold partner and supporting
S1: the ministry with a gift of any amount. When you
S1: give a monthly gift of $30 or more, though, you'll
S1: receive a number of personal benefits, including discounts on moody
S1: publisher items, special content from Mark and more. And becoming
S1: a bold partner is quick and easy when you go
S1: to bold steps.org. By the way, we'd love to hear
S1: from you and get you connected with our growing online
S1: community on our social media pages. You'll find us there
S1: on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, even TikTok. Just log in, search
S1: for Bold Steps Radio and be sure to subscribe or
S1: follow when you get to our page. Plus, you can
S1: always reach us directly through email. Just write to us
S1: at Bold Steps. Well, that's all the time we have today.
S1: Thanks for joining us. I'm Wayne Shepherd, inviting you to
S1: come back tomorrow, and we'll continue our message titled The
S1: Daughter Factor. Don't miss Friday's edition of Bold Steps with
S1: Mark Jo. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio,
S1: a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.