S1: Relationships will hurt us, but they don't have to define us.
S1: Discover the biblical path to healing today on Bold Steps
S1: with Mark Jobe.
S2: There's someone that knows you, that cares about you, that
S2: loves you, that has a purpose and a plan for
S2: your life. Someone whose presence has never abandoned you. Someone
S2: that's been there 24 hours a day. Someone that has
S2: the hairs on your head counted. He knows how many.
S2: That's how detailed it is for you.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, founding pastor of
S1: New Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Yesterday,
S1: we began an incredibly relevant and personal message from Mark,
S1: drawn from the Apostle Paul's own final words in second
S1: Timothy chapter four. And what we've already discovered is that
S1: Paul knew what it felt like to be deserted, opposed,
S1: and utterly alone. But even from a prison cell, with
S1: execution looming, Paul modeled a response to relational pain that
S1: was nothing short of extraordinary. Today, we'll pick up where
S1: we left off and discover the final two of four
S1: biblical steps for staying strong when people around us let
S1: us down. If you missed yesterday's program, you can catch
S1: up online at bold steps.org. But right now, let's jump
S1: back in. Here again is Mark Jobe.
S2: And you know what? There are some of you today
S2: that you got hurt three years ago, two years ago.
S2: But every time you think about it, you're like my
S2: little granddaughter, Maeve are. Because the emotions stir up and
S2: you could still feel the pain as if it happened
S2: just yesterday. The pain and the emotion surge once again.
S2: And if you're here today and you're struggling with hurt disappointment,
S2: whether it happened five years ago, two years ago, ten
S2: years ago. But you're struggling with how to deal with
S2: the disappointment hurt that people have caused you in life.
S2: I want to talk to you today, and I want
S2: us to look at a passage that's in the very
S2: final verses of Second Timothy, Paul's last book that he wrote,
S2: the last verses that he ever penned before he died.
S2: Second Timothy chapter four, verses nine through 22. Let me
S2: read these verses quickly to you. The apostle Paul says,
S2: do your best to come soon. He's speaking to Timothy,
S2: the young man that he mentored for Demas, in love
S2: with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica.
S2: The first hurt. I've been deserted. Christians has gone to Galatia,
S2: Titus to Dalmatia. These people had left. Luke alone is
S2: with me. Get Mark and bring him with you. For
S2: he is very useful for me in ministry. Tychicus I
S2: sent to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that
S2: I left at carpus at Troas. Also the books and
S2: above all the parchments. Verse 14. Alexander the coppersmith did
S2: me great harm. The Lord will repay him according to
S2: his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed
S2: our message. Verse 16 at my first defense no one
S2: came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May
S2: it not be charged against them. But the Lord stood
S2: with me and strengthened me, so that through me the
S2: message might be fully proclaimed, and all the Gentiles might
S2: hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth.
S2: The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed. Bring
S2: me safely into his kingdom. To him be glory forever
S2: and ever. Amen. The Apostle Paul, his last words ever
S2: to be written in the Bible before he was executed
S2: by the Romans, have to deal with the personal hurt
S2: that he experienced by the people around him, and how
S2: he had to manage it. So if you're taking notes
S2: this morning, I want you to write this down. I'm
S2: going to talk to you about how to stay strong
S2: when people let you down. Because listen to me. There's
S2: a cost to community. There's a cost to relationships. If
S2: you're in any kind of relationship today, you will be hurt. Guaranteed.
S2: If you're married, you'll be hurt. If you have kids,
S2: you'll be hurt. If you have extended family, you'll be
S2: hurt if you're part of a church and get to
S2: know people, you will be hurt because relationships come with hurt.
S2: So the question isn't will you be hurt? The question is,
S2: what will you do with the hurt when it comes
S2: your way? Four things. Number one, when you are hurt,
S2: respond with release. Notice what the apostle Paul says. He says,
S2: do your best to come to me soon. For Demas,
S2: in love with this present world, has deserted me and
S2: gone to Thessalonica. Now we don't know much about who
S2: Demas was, but what we do know is that Paul
S2: had mentioned him two other times in the Bible. He's
S2: mentioned in Colossians chapter four, verse 14, where he says, Luke,
S2: the beloved physician, greets you, as does Demas. And then
S2: in Philippians and Philemon, chapter one, verse 24, he actually
S2: refers to Demas as a fellow worker. So it appears
S2: that Demas was a guy that had worked with Paul,
S2: one of his inner circle. One of the people that
S2: was ministering with him and sharing the gospel with them.
S2: But a time came where Demas says, this is too hard.
S2: I don't know if I want to keep doing this.
S2: And the Bible says that because he loved this present world,
S2: maybe he got involved in a relationship. Maybe he just decided,
S2: I want to make money. Maybe he just decided, hey,
S2: I just want a life that's easier. This is too
S2: hard for me. But because he loved the present world,
S2: the Bible says that he abandoned Paul, left him, left God,
S2: left the things of God, walked away from his faith
S2: because it was too difficult. And Paul, his fellow laborer,
S2: was left with the pain of someone that abandoned him
S2: when he should have been walking with him. You know,
S2: later on, it says in this passage in verse 16
S2: that the apostle Paul, he was in prison when he
S2: wrote this. He was standing, going to stand in trial
S2: for his faith. And so he stood in a court
S2: with judges in front of him. And Paul says this, listen,
S2: he says, at my first defense, no one came to
S2: stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not
S2: be charged against them. You know, Paul, that was preaching
S2: the gospel, helping people come to God. When he stood
S2: before the near the Emperor's court. Who was Nero? Nero
S2: was this eccentric, crazy Roman emperor. He's the guy that
S2: supposedly set fire to Rome so that he could build
S2: a big palatial estate in the middle of Rome, and
S2: blamed it on the Christians that they had burned Rome,
S2: this crazy emperor. When Paul was about to stand trial
S2: before him, all of the people that he ministered to,
S2: no one stood with Paul. They all abandoned him. The
S2: question I have for you is, have you been hurt?
S2: Or is there a time in your life when you thought, hey,
S2: people should be beside me? This is when they need
S2: to show up. But the people that you expected to
S2: show up didn't show up. The people that you thought
S2: would stand with you, didn't stand with you the way
S2: you expected them to. Now, when you heard in that way,
S2: there's a couple decisions that you can make. You can
S2: become hurt and bitter. You can allow the pain of
S2: people's disappointment to cause you to back away, to disengage,
S2: to become someone that is resentful, someone that walks away
S2: from the community. But I love what Paul says. Listen
S2: to what Paul says. They all deserted me. But listen,
S2: may it not be held against them. You know what
S2: Paul is saying, man? It hurt me deeply, but I'm
S2: not going to let the pain define me. I'm not
S2: going to let my hurt derail me from my call.
S2: I'm going to learn to release people that have hurt me.
S2: Even though the pain is difficult. I will release them
S2: because I don't want to be defined by the pain.
S2: I want to be defined by the grace of God,
S2: the forgiveness of God, and the goodness of God.
S1: You're listening to bold Steps. The Bible teaching of Mark
S1: job will continue in just a moment. First, I want
S1: to make sure you know all about a valuable tool
S1: for your walk with God that's completely free. It's the
S1: Bold Steps app. With the app, you can access full
S1: sermon series from Mark right from your phone or mobile device,
S1: along with short teaching videos, biblical insights, and practical tools
S1: for daily living. Whether you're looking to take your first
S1: bold step or your next one, this app puts Mark's
S1: Bible teaching right in the palm of your hand. Download
S1: it today from your favorite app store. Just search for
S1: bold steps and then start exploring. And just so you know,
S1: we'd love to hear from you. If today's message has
S1: impacted your life, or if you have a testimony to
S1: share about how God is working in your story, please
S1: reach out to us. You can send a message through
S1: our website at bold steps.org, or call our recorded listener
S1: line at (312) 329-2011, that's (312) 329-2011. Your story matters, and it
S1: may encourage someone else who's walking through a similar season.
S1: Now here again is pastor Mark Jobe with the conclusion
S1: of How to be Strong when People Let You Down.
S2: Hurt and disappointment can lead you to bitterness, disillusionment and
S2: listen and disengagement. Do you know how many people I
S2: talked to out there? Not in church, that when I
S2: invited them to church, they say, oh no, I was
S2: a part of a church, I got hurt. And because
S2: they got hurt, they disengaged, they abandoned. They said, I'm
S2: not going to let that happen to me again. And
S2: what I see is people that usually aren't walking with
S2: God or doing well, because they've allowed the pain to
S2: keep them away from the very things that ultimately could
S2: help them if they embraced it. Number two, when you're opposed,
S2: what you do, you do. Trust God with justice. Look
S2: what it tells us in verse 14. Paul goes on
S2: to say, Alexander the Coppersmith did me great harm. I
S2: love his response. The Lord will repay him according to
S2: his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed
S2: our message. Listen, occasionally there's going to be some people
S2: that they don't just hurt you, they are out to
S2: get you. How many of you have had people like
S2: that around you? Someone at work that you do something
S2: wrong to, and they are out to get you. They
S2: want to badmouth you, spread rumors about you, get you fired.
S2: They are your opponents. You are the arch enemy. You
S2: just rub them wrong and so they can't stand the
S2: sight of you. And they are enemies of you. And
S2: the Apostle Paul says, Alexander the Coppersmith, we don't know
S2: exactly what he did, but he was ardently opposed to Paul.
S2: Maybe he even got Paul imprisoned. Or maybe he even
S2: got him, um, to the judges to turn against him.
S2: We don't know. But sometimes in life, there will be
S2: people that will go against you, that they'll make you
S2: their arch enemy. And I love what Paul says. He
S2: says the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.
S2: You know what Paul is saying? I'm not going to
S2: turn into a vengeful person. I'm going to say, God,
S2: vengeance is yours. Deal with them. How many of you
S2: know that God can deal with people? Some of you
S2: just need to say, Lord, I can't do anything. I'm
S2: not going to do anything, but I'm going to release
S2: him to you. You be my defender. God, you do
S2: do justice, Lord, because I can't do anything about it.
S2: Number three, when disappointed, what do you do when you're disappointed?
S2: When disappointed. Give chances and grace. Notice what it says
S2: in verse 11. The apostle Paul says, pretty much everyone
S2: left him. Luke alone is with me, he says, and
S2: then he says, get Mark and bring him with you,
S2: for he is very useful to me in ministry. Now,
S2: if you just read this without knowing the context, you
S2: would say, well, who's Mark? But we know who Mark
S2: is because Mark is also called John. Mark. In acts
S2: chapter 16, you'll see his name. John Mark was a
S2: young man that was zealous. He went with Paul on
S2: his first missionary journey, and when things got difficult, he
S2: abandoned them and left them and went running back to Mama.
S2: Paul didn't like that at all. Like, hey, we're in
S2: the middle of this battle and you leave me. So
S2: on the second, the second missionary journey that Paul was
S2: about to take, Barnabas, the son of encouragement, says, hey,
S2: let's take John Mark again. And Paul says, no way.
S2: I'm not going to take him. He bailed out when
S2: it was tough. I will not take him. And they
S2: had a sharp disagreement over it and parted ways. Barnabas
S2: went one way. Paul went another way because Paul felt
S2: like he had been disappointed in John Mark's abandonment. This
S2: is years later, and I love the fact that Paul,
S2: years later is saying, hey, bring Mark. You know what?
S2: It tells me that he had restored his relationship, that
S2: he had given Mark a second chance. Listen, you may
S2: have you may have people in your life that have
S2: blown it, that maybe they disappointed you. Maybe they dropped
S2: the ball. But I want to tell you how many
S2: times have you disappointed God and God gave you chances
S2: and grace. There's something powerful about giving people second chances
S2: and giving people grace. Sometimes people are immature at a
S2: certain season of their life, and when they grow and mature,
S2: you give them second chances abilities to redeem themselves. Because
S2: we all need people that are full of grace in
S2: our lives to say, you know what? Your failure doesn't
S2: define you. God can change you, and God can give
S2: you a second chance as well. And so did Paul
S2: in the life of Demas. And then lastly, number four,
S2: when you feel alone, remember that God is with you.
S2: There is a. Epidemic of loneliness in our country these days.
S2: You can be surrounded by people, but fear feel utterly alone.
S2: Aloneness is not the absence of people around you. You
S2: can be surrounded by people, but yet at the same time,
S2: you don't wear a t shirt that says, I feel lonely.
S2: But what does loneliness mean? Loneliness means that you feel
S2: like no one really cares about you, that no one
S2: really understands you, that you don't really belong to a
S2: community that's significant. And some of you here today feel
S2: like if I were to die tomorrow, it wouldn't make
S2: a difference. And in your mind, in your mind, you're disconnected.
S2: In your mind, you feel like there's no one that
S2: understands me. There's no one that would stand with me.
S2: And even though I may be surrounded by people, I
S2: feel utterly alone. In fact, we have a a nation
S2: that struggles with loneliness. You'd think that in a city
S2: like Chicago, where sometimes you can barely find a parking
S2: space and you're always running into people that since we're
S2: surrounded by people, you would think that people would not
S2: be lonely. But sometimes urban environments are the most lonely
S2: because it's not about how many people are around you.
S2: It's about the connection that you have, the sense of
S2: belonging that you have, the sense that, hey, people really
S2: care about me and I care about others. They understand
S2: me that I am not isolated. The apostle Paul says
S2: when he desperately needed people, no one was there. But
S2: I want you to notice what he says in verse 17,
S2: but the Lord stood by me, and strengthen me, so
S2: that through me the message might be fully proclaimed to
S2: all the Gentiles they might hear. So I was rescued.
S2: I love this, the apostle Paul says, even though other
S2: people weren't with me. Can I tell you something? There
S2: is someone that's with you 24 over seven. There's someone
S2: that knows you, that cares about you, that loves you,
S2: that has a purpose and a plan for your life.
S2: There are someone that when you cried yourself to sleep
S2: at night, when you wailed and no one knew it,
S2: when you drank yourself and said, I just. I just
S2: want to get drunk to forget about it. There's someone
S2: that was there, someone that was beside you. Someone that
S2: when you woke up, was there. Someone that when you
S2: went to sleep, was there someone whose presence has never
S2: abandoned you? Someone that's been there 24 hours a day.
S2: Someone that has the hairs on your head counted? He
S2: knows how many. That's how detailed it is for you.
S2: The King of kings and the Lord of lords. Your maker,
S2: your Creator God. He loves you in a way that
S2: you could never fathom. He loves you in a way
S2: that is just incredible. The love of God. And the
S2: Apostle Paul says, he stood with me when everybody else
S2: abandoned me, and he helped him fulfill his purpose. Now,
S2: I think you still need community, but I want to
S2: tell you, in the midst of your hurt, in the
S2: midst of feeling alone, in the midst of feeling well,
S2: does anybody care? It should matter that the God of
S2: the universe who made you, cares about you, love you,
S2: and stands beside you when no one else will do so.
S2: So today, if you feel hurt, disappointed, abandoned, or alone,
S2: I want to remind you that ultimately what God tells
S2: us is release it to him if you're hurt. Release
S2: it to him. If you're disappointed, release it to him.
S2: If you feel like injustice has happened, release it to
S2: him and say, God, can you do something about it?
S2: There's something powerful about saying, I'm in pain, but I
S2: will not let the pain define me and hold me
S2: back from my calling and my purpose and engagement and
S2: letting people into my life and loving other people. I
S2: will not let pain define my behavior, my relationships, my destiny.
S2: I've experienced pain, but I know the power of releasing
S2: it to God and saying, God, I release it to you.
S2: Deal with my life.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. What a
S1: powerful lesson from the Apostle Paul. He released those who
S1: hurt him. He trusted God with justice. He extended grace
S1: to John Mark, and in his loneliest moments, he held
S1: on to the reality that God was right there standing
S1: with him. Mark. That's what it looks like to stay strong.
S3: It does. And maybe you're listening to this message and
S3: you have to admit that you have been disappointed. Uh,
S3: maybe not in the same way that the apostle Paul
S3: was hurt and disappointed, but by a friendship that ended
S3: in what you feel like was betrayal by a trust
S3: that you put in someone and then felt like they
S3: disappointed you by a covenant that was made and broken.
S3: And I want you to know that even if you're
S3: going through relational pain, you cannot let it turn into bitterness,
S3: unresolved anger, unforgiveness, because ultimately it's double damage, the damage
S3: that was done to you. But then the damage.
S2: That you do to yourself.
S1: Everybody loses, right?
S2: Everybody loses. And so I want to pray for that
S2: person right now. That's saying I just hard to let
S2: go of this, but you need to. And this is
S2: a reminder from God that you cannot go into this
S2: next chapter without releasing. So, father, I pray for that
S2: person right now struggling. You know, they've been hurt. God,
S2: you know how it's simmered inside of them, the pain
S2: that they've felt, how they've rehearsed it so many times. Uh,
S2: the feelings that come up when they hear the name
S2: of that person or see the image of that person.
S2: I pray in Jesus name that through the power of
S2: your Holy Spirit, God, you would give a double grace
S2: to be able to forgive because you have forgiven us, God,
S2: to be able to release, uh, to, to tear up
S2: that debt because you've torn up our debt, not because
S2: the person deserves it, but because you deserve it. I
S2: pray for freedom and steps of release and forgiveness In
S2: Jesus name. Amen.
S1: Yes. And that's exactly why we want to put this
S1: month's bold step gift into your hands. It's a book
S1: by Lee Strobel called The Case for Faith. And When
S1: the circumstances of life, including the people in it, shake
S1: you up, there's nothing more stabilizing than a faith that
S1: can hold up to hard questions. Lee Strobel investigates the
S1: toughest objections to Christianity, from the reality of suffering to
S1: the fear of a God who seems harsh or distant,
S1: and he delivers honest, evidence based answers that speak to
S1: both the mind and the heart. When your faith has
S1: been tested by hard seasons and difficult people, this book
S1: reminds you of exactly why it stands. Request your copy
S1: of The Case for Faith today. When you give a
S1: donation of any amount to support Bold Steps, just visit
S1: us online at bold steps.org or call us at 800 DL. Moody,
S1: that's (800) 356-6639. Now, you can also send your gift and
S1: request this book in the mail. write to us at
S1: Bold Steps, 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 606 ten.
S1: And if you ever miss one of these daily programs,
S1: the easiest way to catch up is by subscribing to
S1: our podcast. Open up your favorite podcast app, whether that's
S1: Spotify or Apple or other platforms. Search for bold steps
S1: with doctor Mark Jobe and tap the subscribe button. Every
S1: message is there waiting for you, ready to download so
S1: you can listen anytime and anywhere that works for you. Well,
S1: I'm Wayne Sheppard. Tomorrow we're beginning a series called relentless.
S1: Mark's going to be teaching from acts chapter 16 in
S1: a message titled Make Some Noise about what it looks
S1: like to press on when the pressure is on. That's
S1: coming up Friday on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold
S1: steps is a production of Moody Radio, a Ministry of
S1: Moody Bible Institute.